Permission for Pleasure – Details, episodes & analysis

Get ready to discover some cheeky and charming ways to turn up the fun and connection between you and a partner! Whether you're looking to bring a little fun into your sexy time or just have a laugh, I’ve got a lineup of games that'll make your bedroom into a playground.

More on this topic:
The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters
Orgasm is a Big Brain Event
Temperature Play
Exploring Erogenous Zones: Pleasure Practice

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Dr. Debby Herbenick wants us to know that today's trend for rough sex is different than what we might expect. Her research, as detailed in her book Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex, shows a rise in aggressive and risky behavior, often lacking the crucial communication necessary between partners. Listen in as we unpack the rise in rough sex - specifically choking. We also discuss nude images, digital safety, and the importance of having conversations around all these topics with our teenagers and young adults.

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington, Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and an AASECT-certified sexuality educator. Her research focuses on women’s sexual health, US population-representative research, as well as trends in sexual attitudes and behaviors. 

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People masturbate for all kinds of reasons including pleasure, exploration, sleep and pain relief. For women who have never experienced orgasm, self-pleasure is the most scientifically supported sex therapy technique to learn the stimulation needed to climax. August McLaughlin, a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio, joins me to share her insights, and personal journey with masturbation. We discuss some practices and tips, as well as debunk a few common myths around solo sex.  

August McLaughlin is a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio. Her acclaimed Girl Boner book is currently in its second printing. 

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More on these topics:
Orgasm is a Big Brain Event with Dr. Nan Wise
The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters with Dr. Nan Wise
Exploring Your Perspective of Pleasure
10 Ways to be Sexual Without Masturbating
Untangling Sexual Shame
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Natural Health Benefits of Orgasm

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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All about the pelvic floor! Alexa Charbonneau, PT, DPT of Sarton Physical Therapy, joins me to offer her top tips and education for all ages and stages. Do you cough, laugh, sneeze and wet your pants? Do you have pain with sex? Do you have chronic prostatitis? While many of these might be common issues, they are not normal! The good news is there is physical therapy specifically for your pelvic floor. It may hold the solution you’ve been looking for. 

Find Alexa Charbonneau and Pelvic Healing

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More on these topics:
Pelvic Floor and Painful Sex
Painful sex
Stretched out vaginas and other myths with Heather Jeffcoat

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In this quickie episode I’ll introduce you to the Kivin Method or oral for her – sideways. Hear a how-to guide and why you might want to try it. I'll also answer a few community questions including 'How can I make doggy style more intimate?' and 'Why do I bleed after sex?' Ten minutes of good education for good sex!

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off

More on these topics:
Oral Sex for Women
Guide to Lube
Positions with Props
The clitoris has a hood
The clitoris
Why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Trying something new
Talking with a provider about sex

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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My guest found that her college students had very little understanding of their own bodies and how to navigate sex in a healthy way. Professor Gwendolyn Dolske Ph.D. teaches Philosophy at Cal Poly Pomona. One of her classes, Current Debates in Sexuality, gives her a unique perspective on what young adults are asking about when it comes to sex and relationships. We discuss topics such as consent, current dating culture, and the high alert status women must negotiate to feel safe in the world.

Learn more about Prof Dolske and Good is in the Details

Learn more on these topics:
Why Sex Ed Really Matters
Girls and Sex/Boys and Sex, by Peggy Orenstein
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Understanding Consent and Unlearning Body Shame

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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People sometimes assume the source of erectile changes in men as they age is a condition called - erectile dysfunction or ED. This is not always the case. In this episode I am discussing some of the normal sexual changes men may experience in midlife and beyond. Listen to learn about normal changes in erections, sexual functioning, and desire for men.

More on these topics
Erectile changes vs. erectile dissatisfaction blog
Cam Fraser: Can Men Be Multi-Orgasmic
Scheduling Sex video blog
Three tips for boosting your arousal
Talking about sexual health with your medical provider
Medication and your sex life
The different ways to experience desire
Partner desire discrepancies

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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As Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder of Dipsea, says in her Ted Talk, “Using their memories, fantasies, and some focus - women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.” In this conversation, Gina and I discuss exploration of fantasy, the differences between erotica and porn, ways to figure out what turns you on, and barriers to pleasure. I like the way Gina puts it, "Your desire is not a problem to be solved, but a fire to be stoked." You may discover a new tool to spark the flame in this episode.

Use code CINDY for a free month of Dipsea Audio Stories

More on this topic
The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters
Orgasm is a big brain event
Women's Anatomy of Arousal book review
Come As You Are book review
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
Fantasy and play in the bedroom
Female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
How desire really works with Dr. Lori Brotto
Your brain and sex video

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Most of us didn’t get a lot of education around sex, let alone how to talk about sex with a partner. Just like any new language, sexual conversation is a learnable skill that gets more comfortable with practice. Use the questions and prompts in this episode as conversation starters. Designed to be used with a partner, these are great for date night, weekend walks or on your next long drive together. Learn to talk about sex - one chat at a time.

More on this topic:
Conversation Prompts
Talking with a partner about sex
Sexual communication
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Toys, Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom
Get out of your foreplay rut
Desire Styles
Partner Desire Discrepancies
Sexify your space
Sensual Play

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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My guest Matthias Roberts, psychotherapist, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms says, “Wherever there is sex, there seems to be shame.” Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. He feels one of the first steps in fighting shame is to practice recognizing it. Together we discuss how to identify our shame, acknowledge our worthiness, and allow ourselves pleasure.

Find Matthias Roberts

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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