Pause and Listen – Details, episodes & analysis

Welcome to a very special bonus episode of In a Mother’s Mind! This episode is hosted by Vanessa, a birth mother who has completed the Pause Programme and continues to get involved in Pause’s campaign work. Two years ago, Vanessa decided to write a letter to the social worker who removed her children from her care. In this episode, she talks to Jules Hillier, Chief Executive of Pause, about what made her decide to do this and the impact of her decision.  

We are pleased to share this episode with you this week, which is Social Work Week in the UK, to highlight positive relationships between social workers and birth parents. We recognise that everyone’s journey is different, but we hope that Vanessa’s experience inspires listeners who might be in a similar situation, to overcome hurdles that they feel are holding them back.  

Hosted by Vanessa, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme   
Produced by Fi Gilligan and Karina Graham 

Music by Ben Jacob  
Editing by Will Jacob  

To find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk 

Episode 3 

Welcome back to the final episode of this season of ‘In a Mother’s Mind’! This podcast series aims to raise awareness about the experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of four Pause graduates, who have experience of having children removed from their care.  

In this episode, Vanessa speaks to Sarah Moat, her former Pause Practitioner, about how Pause works in partnership with local authority housing providers to support women with their housing situations. Karina Graham, Pause’s Involvement and Communications Assistant, then leads a discussion with the podcast group to discuss the emotional challenges of staying in the same home, or moving to a new one, after having children removed from their care. As a group, they talk about some of the practical and creative ways they have approached this.  

If you are going through – or have gone through – care proceedings and have been hit by the bedroom tax, you may be eligible for financial support through a Discretionary Housing Payment (DHP). Find out more about this and how to apply on the government website.   

Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme   
Featuring Heidi and Vanessa, women with experience of the Pause Programme   

Produced by Fi Gilligan and Karina Graham 
Music by Ben Jacob  
Editing by Will Jacob  

To find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk 

Welcome back to Pause and Listen! We are so delighted to share our fourth series with you all. In this exciting episode, we take our #TimeToDeliver campaign on letterbox contact to Downing Street. Join us as we walk down Whitehall to Downing Street, to hand in our open letter to the Prime Minister. The letter is calling for changes to the current letterbox contact system, which is failing adopted children, birth parents and adoptive families. The system is outdated, complicated and does not always lead to long-lasting, meaningful relationships. Families need consistent support and a system based on relationships, not administration. That’s why we’re letting Boris Johnson know it’s #TimeToDeliver on letterbox contact.  

In this episode, we are joined by women who have all worked with Pause, as well as Larrah, a Pause Practitioner, and Hannah, the Coordinator for Pause Plymouth.  

Hosted by Clare Laxton and Phoebe Green  
Produced by Fi Gilligan 
Music by Ben Jacob 
Editing by Will Jacob 

To find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk  

 

Read our open letter here. 

For this episode of Pause and Listen, we are joined by Harpreet Kaur, Practice Lead for Pause Southwark, and Liz, a woman who worked with Pause Hackney. Liz is now a Peer Mentor and has also set up her own support network called Little Steps. In this episode, we are discussing letterbox contact, an indirect form of contact where adoptive and birth families exchange letters, often once a year. 

Relationships with children is a top priority for women working with Pause. In particular, they consistently tell us about the difficulties they have with letterbox contact. The letterbox contact system is not delivering – it is outdated, complicated and does not always lead to long-lasting, meaningful relationships between parents and children. They deserve better. Families need consistent support and a system based on relationships, not administration.  Our report looks at the system, with a focus on the experience of birth mothers, and provides recommendations for change. To read more about our Time to Deliver report on letterbox contact, please visit our website:  https://www.pause.org.uk/what-we-do/influencing/letterbox-contact/   

To support our campaign calling for a better system, please email your MP and let them know it’s #TimeToDeliver on letterbox contact: https://action.pause.org.uk/Timetodeliver/   

Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton 
Produced by Fi Gilligan  
Music by Ben Jacob  
Editing by Will Jacob  

To find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk 

For this episode of Pause and Listen, we are joined by Laura and Peggy, a.k.a. Two Good Mums @TwoGoodMums. Laura and Peggy’s relationship is an exceptional story: they are the birth mother and adoptive mother of two sons CJ and RJ. Since first meeting, Laura and Peggy have worked together to build a relationship that led to regular face-to-face contact, as they felt that the usual post-adoption contact arrangements did not serve them or the boys. It’s a positive story of post-adoption contact. 

Find out more about Laura and Peggy’s adoption journey at www.twogoodmums.co.uk 

Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan 
Music by Ben Jacob 
Editing by Will Jacob 

To find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk 

This episode of Pause and Listen is all about the Care Review: the independent review of children’s social care in England. We are joined by Josh MacAlister @JoshMacAlister, who is leading the review. Josh is a former schoolteacher and founder of the charity Frontline.   

Earlier this year, Pause submitted our recommendations to the Care Review, with a focus on how we can better support the women whose children have been removed. Our key recommendations focus on: 

1. Consistency, stability and communication
2. Institutional learning
3. Trauma-informed support
4. Data and regulation

Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan 
Music by Ben Jacob 
Editing by Will Jacob 

To find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk 

Welcome back to Pause and Listen! We are so delighted to share our third series with you all. In this episode, we will be exploring trauma-informed practice: what it means in reality and what it feels like as a woman working with Pause. We are joined by Dr Naomi Sutton @DrNaomiSutton, a sexual health professional working in Rotherham, and Christina Worle @ChristinaWorle a dentist in Plymouth @PenDentalSE. Both Naomi and Christina have worked with Pause and take a trauma-informed approach to their field of practice. We will also hear from Pause Practitioner Larrah Thompson @Larrah, and Jessie, a woman supported by Pause Plymouth.  

Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Louis Vine 
Music by Ben Jacob 
Editing by Will Jacob 

To find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk  

In this episode, we are looking back at what has been a challenging year for Pause, the women we support, and the sector at large.

We are joined by two  Pause Graduates, Emma and Heidi reflecting on a year in lockdown, Katherine Sacks Jones @KatharineSJ  CEO ofBecome @Become1992,  Minesh Patel @minesh1112, Principal Policy Manager at Citizens Advice @CitizensAdvice and Sarah Dangar @SarahDangar Deputy CEO of Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse @AAFDA6.

Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @ladylaxton

Produced by Louis Vine
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will Jacob

In this episode, as part of our work during the 16 Days of Activism against gender based violence, we talk about something a bit different, and difficult. We talk about the premature deaths of women who’ve had more than one child removed from their care.  The episode explores how Pause scoping exercises started finding women who had had more than one child removed who had died before we were able to offer them support. Most of these women died prematurely. We ask why they died and what can be done about it to make sure women aren't dying in the future. 

We hear from Jules Hillers, CEO of Pause, Ellen Marks, Director of Practice and Learning at Pause, Anna Smith, CEO of One25 and Helen Daniel, National Scoping Lead at Pause. Although we don't have all the answers this episode starts the conversation about why women are dying prematurely and what can be done about it. 

You can find out more on Pause website www.pause.org.uk and more about One25 and their work on their website at www.one25.org.uk.

This episode is dedicated to those 233 women who have died, as well as all the women who have died who were known to Pause Practices across the UK. 

In this extended podcast episode, to coincide with the beginning of 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence, we are discussing Domestic Abuse and highlighting less visible forms of abuse.  We are joined by Teresa Williams, Head of Media Relations & Communications at Women's Aid and Dr Nicola Sharp-Jeffs OBE, Founder and Director Surviving Economic Abuse and will hear from two women working with Pause about their experience of Domestic Abuse.  

*Trigger warning* This podcast episodes discuss issues which may cause distress to some including graphic descriptions of domestic abuse. 

If you need support or are affected by any issues raised you can get support below:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/