Explore every episode of the podcast Parenting Without Power Struggles

In this episode, Susan welcomes Dr. Delaney Ruston, a physician, filmmaker, and creator of the Screenagers documentary series. In this powerful conversation, they talk about how to parent with compassion and confidence in the digital age. Delaney emphasizes the importance of the "safety first" approach: creating a home environment where children feel safe disclosing difficult online experiences without fear of punishment. Susan and Delaney stress the power of presence, connection, and emotional safety as the bedrock of digital-era parenting. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/delaney-ruston-podcast

Anxiety in children isn’t something to eliminate—it’s something to understand. In this episode, we explore how anxiety shows up in the body and why it’s actually a signal, not a flaw. You’ll walk away with a new lens on your child’s anxious moments—and a sense of what real support can look like. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/anxiety-podcast-2

In this episode, Susan explores the rising issue of anxiety in children and teens, emphasizing that anxiety is not a flaw but a signal that something feels unsafe. She discusses contributing factors like social media, academic pressure, and global uncertainty, and she encourages parents to co-regulate using tools like movement and breath work. She reassures parents that their presence and understanding matter more than "fixing" the anxiety itself. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/anxiety-maggie-podcast

In this episode, Susan explores the importance of helping kids tune into their own wisdom and instincts, so they can think for themselves with confidence. Susan shares practical strategies for fostering self-trust, including asking thoughtful questions and helping kids recognize how their body and emotions respond to different choices. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/inner-wisdom-podcast

In this episode, Susan welcomes licensed clinical mental health counselor and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, Tammy Sollenberger, to explore how IFS can help parents navigate their emotional triggers and build deeper connections with their children. Tammy illustrates how understanding and embracing different parts of ourselves can transform reactive parenting into more mindful and compassionate interactions. By integrating IFS principles, parents can step into a more centered, calm, and connected role with their children. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/tammy-sollenberger-podcast

In this episode, Susan explores why kids lie and how parents can foster honesty with compassion. She explains that lying is often a normal part of child development, driven by self-protection, avoiding consequences, or imaginative storytelling. Susan emphasizes the importance of modeling honesty and guiding children toward making amends, helping them develop integrity and trust in their relationships. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/why-kids-lie-podcast

In this episode, Susan challenges the traditional view of ADHD, reframing it as different brain wiring rather than a deficit. She explores how ADHD brains thrive on creativity and spontaneity while struggling with executive function and emotional regulation. She offers practical strategies to help ADHD children succeed and emphasizes the importance of co-regulation to allow parents to empower their ADHD children to thrive. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/flip-the-script-adhd-podcast

In this episode, Susan shares an excerpt from her new class with Dr. Laura Markham on Sibling Harmony. They explore how parents can help their children navigate sibling rivalry and how to guide kids to resolve conflicts in healthy ways. Susan emphasizes the importance of parents staying calm and regulated, as children's behavior often stems from their parents' dysregulation. Susan and Laura also share how sibling conflict can be an opportunity for children to develop crucial skills like empathy and self-expression. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/sibling-harmony

In this episode, Susan addresses a parent's concern about their seven-year-old child exhibiting rudeness, defiance, and emotional outbursts, especially when asked to do simple tasks. Susan emphasizes the importance of staying calm and regulated and not reacting from a place of personal frustration. She also touches on the importance of connection, understanding the child's needs, and staying steady during challenging moments. https://susanstiffelman.com/handling-defiance-podcast-episode/

This is a recording of a free session Susan hosted with Dr. Laura Markham on January 11, 2025 to offer immediate support to those affected by the wildfires in southern California. To subscribe to Susan's newsletter and receive updates about additional free support sessions, text NEWSLETTER to 310-905-8165 and follow the prompts. https://susanstiffelman.com/wildfire-support-podcast-laura-markham/

In this episode, Susan discusses some of the signs that co-parenting struggles are due to narcissism, rather than more ordinary issues like hurt or resentment. She shares the kinds of questions she gets from parents who are co-parenting with a narcissist. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/are-you-co-parenting-narcissist-podcast

In this episode, Susan shares an excerpt from a past session with Byron Katie, whose self-inquiry method, The Work, has deeply influenced her parenting approach. Katie's process helps parents question and shift stressful beliefs to improve their relationships with their children. Susan invites listeners to join her class with Katie to learn more about these transformative techniques. https://go.susanstiffelman.com/byron-katie-class-podcast

In this episode, Susan talks about the importance of allowing our kids to make mistakes and gain resilience by recovering from them. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-helping-kids-make-mistakes/

In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of author of the new book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, as well as the books Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist, and Don't You Know Who I Am? How To Stay Sane In An Era Of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility. Susan and Dr. Durvasula discuss difficulties, grief and legal challenges associated with co-parenting with someone who has narcissistic tendencies. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episodes-ramani-durvasula/

In this episode, Susan talks with Julie Lythcott-Haims about the challenges of parenting, particularly as children transition into adulthood. They discuss the ways in which parents' roles evolve as their children grow, and the importance of parents modeling healthy adult behavior for their children. Julie describes the ultimate goal of parenting as raising independent and resilient adults who can thrive on their own. https://susanstiffelman.com/julie-lythcott-haims-young-adult-podcast/

In this episode, Susan explores the challenges children face with restlessness, fidgetiness, and hyperactivity, particularly in the school environment. She emphasizes the importance of movement, play, and imagination in child development, noting that traditional classroom settings may not always accommodate natural developmental needs. Susan suggests practical strategies for parents and schools to support children, such as incorporating brief movement breaks and providing tools for fidgeting.
http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-fidgety-kids

In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Gabor Maté about attachment instincts, peer orientation, and the importance of parental presence in building a strong parent-child relationship. Dr. Maté explains how children's attachment to peers can affect their behavior and relationships, emphasizing the need for parents to maintain primary attachment with their children. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/gabor-mate-podcast-episode

In this episode, Susan talks with her friend and colleague, Robyn Posin, PhD. They discuss Robyn's book, "Go Only as Fast as Your Slowest Part Feels Safe to Go: Tales to Kindle Gentleness and Compassion for Our Exhausted Selves." They explore the importance of slowing down in today's fast-paced world, the need for rest as a sacred act, and the significance of mental and emotional well-being. Robyn shares practical tips and anecdotes to prioritize self-care and embrace a more mindful approach to life. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/robyn-posin-podcast-episode

In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Dan Siegel on breaking dysfunctional patterns we've inherited from our own parents and grandparents. They discuss how early interactions with caregivers shape individuals and how tendencies and behaviors can be inherited through epigenetics. Dan also explains the concept of neuroplasticity, offering hope that parents can reshape their brains to become more integrated and resilient. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-generational-healing

In this episode, Susan coaches a new parent struggling to adjust to life with their 11-month-old baby. The parent expresses challenges in maintaining balance in their life after the baby's arrival. Susan emphasizes the importance of honest, open conversation in addressing these struggles and the need for  vulnerable discussions with partners. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-new-baby

In this episode, Susan coaches a parent whose kids have a hard time adjusting to the different rules and boundaries in their parents' two homes. Susan reassures this parent that boundaries help kids feel safe and secure in their attachment and role-plays a scenario to help this parent communicate for effectively with their kids. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/boundaries-two-houses-podcast

In this episode, Susan helps a parent with an unusual dilemma: their family will be traveling for a year, and their young daughter is resistant to the idea. Susan discusses the importance of making it safe for the child to express fears while remaining clear and relaxed. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/helping-child-travel-podcast

In this episode, you’ll hear Susan talking with the parent of a forgetful, somewhat disorganized teen with ADHD without micromanaging. This conversation goes deep, looking at how our anxiety can muddy the waters of effective parenting. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-teen-adhd

In this episode, Susan talks with a parent who struggles with what she calls "ancestral anger" toward her preschooler -- a feeling of rage that stems from an unhealed part of her own childhood. Susan coaches this parent on handling the build up of rage when it makes its next appearance with her child. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-ancestral-anger

In this episode, Susan talks with a parent who wants help supporting her middle child. Her 7-year-old daughter is struggling with the disappointment and frustration of being a middle child, so Susan uses a role-play to coach this parent on helping her child grieve the reality of her unchanging position in the family. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-middle-child

In this episode, Susan talks with Kelsey, who shares her experience with her assertive, expressive 7- and 9-year-old daughters. The conversation emphasizes the balance between respecting children's autonomy and fulfilling the responsibilities of a parent. They talk about how the daughters resist taking medicine and how Kelsey can acknowledge her daughters' autonomy while also ensuring they get the medical care they need. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/taking-medicine-podcast

In this episode, Susan coaches a parent, "Marie," who discusses her large family, including two children on the autism spectrum. She's looking for advice on encouraging more friendly, positive interactions between her five children. Susan coaches Marie on managing children with high functioning autism, focusing on executive functioning, and emphasizing the unique strengths and challenges of each child. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/coaching-podcast-friendly-siblings

In this episode, Susan shares her thoughts on navigating the holiday season, reflecting on the relentless pace of modern life, the challenges posed by technology, and the importance of taking time to recharge. Susan also talks about her personal practice of unplugging for several weeks and the positive impact it has on her well-being. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/catching-your-breath-podcast

Susan talks with Dr. Pressman about the five guiding principles for raising a good human: relationships, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair. They stress the importance of being a "good enough" parent, rather than striving for perfection, and emphasize that imperfection is a natural part of being human. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/aliza-pressman-podcast-episode

In this episode, Susan coaches a parent whose son is reluctant to go to school because his feelings have been getting hurt at recess. Susan offers a kid-friendly way to help her child take things less personally by looking at the Bad B’s (negative beliefs) that fuel his insecurities. https://susanstiffelman.com/reluctant-school-child-podcast/

Susan responds to a parent’s question about how to become the Captain of the ship if you grew up with permissive parents who gave you whatever you wanted, sharing important insights into making the shift to setting loving limits with kids. https://susanstiffelman.com/captain-podcast/

In this episode, Susan answers a parent’s question about a child’s difficulty with disappointment. She emphasizes the importance of  grounding oneself before setting limits to support children and shares tips to better help children cope with frustrating experiences. https://susanstiffelman.com/frustration-podcast/

In this episode, Susan talks about why setting screen-time limits can be so difficult, and why there’s so much push back from our kids when it’s time to unplug, sharing strategies for implementing healthy rules and routines. https://susanstiffelman.com/screen-time-limits-podcast/

In this preview from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, Jack and Trudy remind listeners that being present and aware can help us engage with technology in healthy ways, rather than feeling drained and depleted, or turning to screens to hide from uncomfortable feelings. In the full summit interview, Trudy also walks us through a 7 minute Appreciation Body Scan, providing a calming, restful experience that all will enjoy!

In this preview clip from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson talks about the impression a child is left with when we react with anger to their angere over screen time limits, and how it influences their future willingness to come to us when they're upset.

Susan shares a preview clip from a conversation with author and filmmaker Tiffany Shlain from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, discussing the benefits of a 24 hour weekly ritual of unplugging from technology.

In this preview clip from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit, Dr. Anna Lembke (author of Dopamine Nation) suggesting that rather than turning to screens and social media to lessen feelings of depression, online activities may actually generate depression in some instances when long-term tech use fuels reduced natural dopamine production in the brain.

Susan shares a preview clip from an interview with Dr. Dan Siegel from the Tech-Wise Parenting Summit. Dan and Susan engage in a short role play to demonstrate how conversations lacking in the many aspects of communication missing in online exchanges can lead to disconnection and misunderstanding.

In this conversation, Susan and Dayna talk about how important it is to understand that even if our child has behavioral struggles, they aren’t broken and we aren’t failing. They go on to discuss creating a plan for parenting storms, not taking things personally, and shifting our perspective. https://susanstiffelman.com/dayna-abraham-podcast/

One of the biggest power struggles parents have with their kids is around technology. In this episode, Susan talks about the importance of clarity as we set realistic routines around screen time, emphasizing the importance of being the “Captain of the ship” for our kids, to offer guidance and support. https://susanstiffelman.com/kids-and-tech-podcast/

A parent whose son complains about her singing asks for advice about helping him be more comfortable with self-expression and using his voice. Susan shares some interesting ideas for how to approach the situation. https://susanstiffelman.com/nurturing-expressiveness-podcast/

In this excerpt of a class about homework with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven Child, Susan explores the anxiety parents often feel around their kids' unwillingness to take their school work seriously. https://susanstiffelman.com/stixrud-johnson-podcast-2/

Enjoy a fascinating conversation with Mei-Ling Hopgood about her adventures in parenting around the world, from raising her children in Argentina where bedtimes are often “flexible” to looking at how play, meals, and chores are approached in other cultures. A delightful discussion that may help parents feel a bit more flexible in their child-rearing practices. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-global-perspective/

At a time when headlines are filled with dire warnings about the mental health of our adolescents, this information-packed session with Dr. Lisa Damour offers vital guidance for parents—including those with younger kids—about how to navigate the ups and downs that come with growing up. https://susanstiffelman.com/lisa-damour-teen-podcast-episode/

Did you know that 15% to 20% of the population are highly sensitive people? Yet many parents struggle to understand their deeply feeling children. In this episode, Susan explains the trait of sensitivity and shares 3 of the most important things to keep in mind to help you nurture and support your sensitive child. https://susanstiffelman.com/raising-sensitive-kids-podcast-episodes/

In this episode, Susan reassures listeners that aggressive behavior is common, and talks about some of the elements that often fuel a child’s angry outbursts. She also addresses a few important ways we can reduce its frequency. https://susanstiffelman.com/aggression-podcast-podcast-episode/

In this powerful episode, Susan talks about the underlying, invisible elements—often remnants of our own childhood-- that sometimes fuel our anger, frustration, or despair as we deal with the daily challenges of parenting. https://susanstiffelman.com/making-long-term-change-podcast-episode/

In this episode, Susan answers a question submitted by a parents about his son to play team sports, even though his son refuses. Many parents will relate to this question! https://susanstiffelman.com/team-sports-podcast-episode/

In this episode, you’ll hear Susan talk about the benefits of creating a Family Mission Statement to get your new year off to a solid start. Even young children can participate in this attachment-building family activity! https://susanstiffelman.com/mission-statement-podcast-episode/

In this episode, you’ll hear Susan role play a scenario with a child who’s refusing to turn off the TV to take a bath, as she talks about the importance of taking on smaller parenting challenges to get better at coping with push back and disconnection. A great episode with lots of practical value! https://susanstiffelman.com/climbing-hills-instead-of-mountains-podcast/