Healthy communication is the foundation of strong relationships. But when emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into unhelpful patterns. In this episode, trauma therapist Sarah Allen joins me to explore how communication styles shape family dynamics and what it takes to shift toward healthier, more assertive communication with your struggling teen.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between being too passive or too controlling in conversations with your teen, you’re not alone. Many parents default to passive communication, avoiding conflict and hoping their teen picks up on their needs. Others swing toward aggressive communication, trying to maintain control and authority. But neither approach helps you build the trust and connection we want with your teen.

What we should strive for? Assertive communication, which allows you to set clear, healthy boundaries, express your needs, and create a structure that helps your teen feel safe, without resorting to power struggles. 

In this conversation, Sarah and I break down what healthy communication looks like, how your communication style impacts your parenting, and how small shifts can make a big difference in your relationship with your teen.

In this episode on healthy communication with your teen and family, we discuss:

• What makes communication healthy or unhealthy;
• The difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication;
• How your communication style influences your parenting approach;
• Why structure helps teens feel safer, even when they resist it;
• Practical strategies to shift toward more balanced, effective communication with your teen and family;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

When life feels like too much, it’s easy to get caught in the spiral of overwhelm. And let’s face it, whether it’s your teen or yourself as a parent, overwhelm is something we all face from time to time. In this episode, we dive into how to support your teen through these challenging moments while also learning to manage your own as a parent.

Overwhelm can show up in many ways, emotional shutdowns, conflict, exhaustion, or frustration, all stemming from the pressure of unmet expectations. Whether it’s you as a parent or it’s your teen who’s feeling overwhelmed, the same strategies can help: setting clear boundaries, validating emotions, and releasing the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations.

Overwhelm doesn’t have to define your family dynamics. In this episode, Seth and I share our personal experiences with managing overwhelm and expectations and how these moments impact our relationships. We also explore the strategies that can help both you and your teen find balance and connection when overwhelm starts to creep in.

In this episode on parenting an overwhelmed teen, we discuss:

• What overwhelm can look like in your teen’s behavior;
• How to help your teen navigate the pressure of expectations;
• The role of emotional congruence in strengthening your connection;
• Why validation is key to supporting an overwhelmed teen;
• The importance of setting boundaries before overwhelm takes over;
• How vulnerability can foster understanding and growth in your relationship;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

What happens after your teen completes treatment? It’s a question many parents grapple with. In today’s episode, Beth talks to Michael, a former struggling teen who went to wilderness himself, about his journey through treatment and the challenges of returning home.

Michael reflects on his time in wilderness treatment as the ‘worst best time’ of his life. It wasn’t just the woods or the strict routines that made it tough - it was the emotional accountability he had never faced before. As he shares, “At home, I got away with everything and anything.”

But wilderness was only the beginning. Michael opens up about the highs and lows that followed, from the "honeymoon period" in which everything seemed to be going great, to the real work of sustaining change. 

He also speaks about his parents’ role during this time: their support, their boundaries, and their commitment to not only doing their own work alongside him but supporting him in his work as well.

If you’ve ever wondered how to support your teen after treatment, or how to hold steady through the ups and downs, Michael’s story is one for you.

In this episode on messing up after treatment, we cover:

• How Michael abused the privileges he was given during wilderness;
• The importance of holding boundaries after treatment;
• How parents can support their teen’s ongoing growth;
• Michael’s experiences after treatment, from a 3-month ‘honeymoon’ period to a new ’storm’;
• The support his parents gave him after treatment and the boundaries they held up;
• The importance of doing your own work and also finding out what your kid is working on and supporting them in that work;
• Why having a mentor can be incredibly beneficial for your teen after treatment;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Michael Wangsgard
Michael is a former struggling teen who went to wilderness turned mentor for struggling teens. You can connect with Michael via email at wangsgardm@gmail.com or give him a call at 8014308455.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Expectations can be tricky, and so also when it comes to wilderness. To avoid going in with the wrong expectations as much as possible, we’re going to share with you today what wilderness is and what it is not so you can have realistic expectations before deciding whether or not it is the best option for your family.

Wilderness is not for everyone but it can be the reset your teen and family needs in life. Tune in to today’s episode to hear all our thoughts about what wilderness is and is not so you can make sure you step into it with the right expectations.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

There’s so much to say about transport, so let’s continue our conversation with Gabriela Deambrosio! We talk about everything you need to know about transportation to wilderness and what things to consider. You might be surprised by my own story about my son’s transport to wilderness.

In the second part of the episode, we talk about the power of language and how the language many people use around transportation and the therapeutic field affects people’s view on it.

In this episode on transportation to wilderness and the language we use around it, we discuss:

• What you need to know about transport to wilderness;
• What to consider when it comes to transportation;
• Misconceptions about transport to wilderness;
• Beth’s story of their transportation choices to get their son to wilderness;
• Do your research before choosing a transportation company;
• Encouraging parents to know what language to use with their teens;
• Including siblings in the conversation to enhance understanding;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

If last week’s episode on how to get your teen to wilderness left you with a few more questions on the topic, you’re in luck! The next two episodes, I’m joined by Education Consultant Gabriela Deambrosio to talk about everything transport and the role of Education Consultants.

In this episode on transport options and education consultants, we discuss:

• The role of an Education Consultant & what they can help with;
• When would a family hire an Education Consultant?;
• What does working with an Education Consultant look like?;
• Including your teen in the decision of going to wilderness;
• Beth’s story on getting her son to wilderness;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

So, you’ve made the decision you want to send your teen to wilderness. Now what?

In this 4th episode in our wilderness series, we’ll walk you through your options for actually getting your teen to wilderness. Because even though you might not feel like you have a choice right now, there really are options. Generally speaking, your two options are to (1) force your child to go, or (2) give them a choice to go. We’ll walk you through the pros and cons of each of them and in what situations one option might be better than the other. 

In this episode on how to get your teen to wilderness, we discuss:

• The options you have in getting your teen to wilderness;
• The pros and cons of each choice;
• Taking ownership of your decision to send your teen to wilderness;
• Your teen’s feelings about wilderness and transport are valid;
• How to guide the conversation with your teen about going to wilderness;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

When you’re considering wilderness for your teen, undoubtedly a lot of fears and concerns will come up. 

What if wilderness will only make things worse?
What if my child will never forgive me?
What will people think?
And so on…

It is so normal to think these thoughts and feel these fears! Today, we will walk you through these and other common concerns and what you can actually do with them.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Listen up, parents! Today we’re hearing from a teen who’s been through it all and she’s sharing such amazing insights!

Evan shares her story leading up to wilderness and how wilderness helped her change her life and gain self-worth. We also discuss her relapse and how the support systems and everything she learned helped her out again. Curious to hear her advice to parents? Or how’s she’s doing now? Let’s jump into the episode!

In this teen interview, we discuss:

• Amazing pieces of advice given by her as a teen to parents; 
• The life-changing things she’s learned in therapy that she would never have learned otherwise;
• When did the shift happen to wanting to change and wanting help?;
• How wilderness helped her work on her sense of self-worth;
• Her perspective on her parents’ growth; 
• And so much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Welcome back to the Wilderness Series! In this second episode, we’re discussing the factors that might indicate that it’s time to send your teen to wilderness. How do you know it’s the right time? Making the decision to send your teen to wilderness can be a very difficult one and even though we can’t tell you exactly when is the best time, in this episode we aim to help you make the best decision for you and your teen.

In this second episode of the wilderness series, we discuss:

• The decision to send your teen to wilderness;
• Red flags & maladaptive behaviors to look out for in your teen;
• Parent red flags in behavior and feelings;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

A podcast series specifically going over all the ins and outs of wilderness therapy - How does that sound!? I decided to answer all of the questions parents have around wilderness in a special series here on the Parenting Post-Wilderness podcast and share thoughts, ideas and information about wilderness specifically. It’s been around for decades and has received both negative and positive attention. Seth and I are going to shed some light on the ins and outs of wilderness from our experiences and perspectives in the hope of supporting and informing.

In this first episode of the series, we’re going to go over:

• The objectives of wilderness therapy;
• A general overview & info of what it is and what it’s not;
• Different kinds of wilderness programs & how they differ from each other;
• Parent programs;
• Some surprisingly natural consequences a teen may find throughout their experience;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Today, we’re continuing our conversation with Casie Fariello & we dive deeper into her son’s experience of going to wilderness and how he looks back at it now. Both Casie’s son and Seth agree that it’s not a black-and-white experience.

After going through the process of wilderness, boarding school and eventually transitioning her son home, Casie founded a peer-led, online support group for parents of children struggling with mental health and/or substances: OPLM.com.

In this parent interview, we discuss:

• Diving deeper into her son’s experience of going to wilderness;
• Seth’s experiences of how wilderness finally made him feel safe;
• Suicidal ideation;
• Self-worth;
• Working on yourself as a parent;
• Online parent support group OPLM.com;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Going through life struggling with ADHD, Casie's son developed a core feeling of worthlessness. As a coping strategy, he turned to drugs, started running away from home, and even attempted suicide.

“It took wilderness to get him to the point where he cared that he lived”  - Casie Fariello

We’re so grateful to have Casie Fariello, parent of three and owner and founder of Other Parents Like Me (OPLM.com), on the podcast today to share her story and experiences around her son’s addiction and his journey to wilderness. She also opens up about her lack of self-care, the effect her son’s behavior had on his siblings, and how she and her husband made sure they could get through this together, as a team.

In this parent interview, we discuss:

• Her son’s history of ADHD, leading up to his drug addiction;
• The difficulty of navigating the difference between her children;
• Family dynamics and the role the siblings played in this journey;
• What’s going on in the brain of an addict;
• How they got their son to wilderness;
• Creative ways they were able to pay for wilderness;
• Casie’s personal journey as a parent: what was she going through and what did she feel?;
• Taking care of her marriage during this difficult time;
• How her son now feels about wilderness;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

It’s natural to feel uneasy when your kid strays from the socially accepted path of college, career, and other traditional milestones. But as today’s guest Joanna points out, the reality is that the so-called "normal" path is often the exception, not the rule. The world has changed dramatically, and success now comes in many forms. Degrees, certifications, and fulfilling careers don’t always look like they used to, and that’s okay.

As parents, we’re fearful of our teen’s choices because it looks different from our own experiences and we don’t know whether it’s going to work out for them. The unknown makes it scary for us to witness. But their unique journey can lead to a future that’s both meaningful and fulfilling for your teen.

“Anybody that has treatment experience just is so much more attuned, so much more insightful, so much more aware. … The reality is, they’re lightyears ahead of their peers” - Joanna Lilley

Today’s guest is Joanna Lilley, a therapeutic consultant who specializes in guiding young adults through life transitions. Together, we dive into redefining success, breaking free from outdated societal norms, and supporting young adults who are charting their own unique paths, especially when those paths look different from the ones we expected.

In this episode on what success looks like for our young adult kids, we cover:

• Why the "normal" path is no longer the standard;
• How societal shifts are changing what success looks like for our young adult kids nowadays;
• What it means to believe in your young adult, even when their path looks unfamiliar;
• Joanna’s biggest advice for parents when your young adult is feeling miserable on the path they’re taking;
• The life experience teens gain in treatment;
• And much more.

Let’s poke holes in rigid thinking and redefine success, together.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Joanna Lilley
Joanna Lilley, MA, NCC, is a Therapeutic Consultant working with young adults only. Since 2016, Lilley Consulting has been helping families and young adults find treatment and resource options during the most important time in adulthood.  Joanna dedicates herself to working solely with emerging adults who unravel before going to college, when they land on campus, or right after college graduation. Young adulthood can be messy, but it doesn’t have to be if you find the right resources when needed.

You can connect with Lilley on her website or Facebook.
Have a listen to Lilley’s podcast ‘Success is Subjective’ where I was also a guest speaker.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

As parents, we often have a good idea of what we want for our children and what we think is best for them. On the other hand, we have the child, who wants to walk their own journey and make their own decisions. It’s a tricky and nuanced topic and I can’t wait for you to hear my conversation with Seth about it. 

In this episode on parents’ agenda vs. child’s personal journey we discuss:

• What makes this conflict so hard;
• The parents’ and child’s perspectives;
• The conflict it brings to the child, knowing the parents mean well and are coming from a place of love;
• Strategies to release pressure off of the child;
• Real-life examples and tips;
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Parent Rebecca is back to talk about what it was like bringing her daughter home directly from wilderness. What did it feel like? What were some of the conflicts in the first few weeks of her being home? At this moment, her daughter has been home for 1.5 years. It’s safe to say it has been a bumpy road. But what is it like now?’

In this episode parent interview, we discuss:

• What the first couple of weeks after wilderness were like;
• Cellphone use after wilderness;
• The commitment of taking your kid home directly after wilderness;
• Holding boundaries;
• The ‘shoulds’ of parenting;
• Challenges within the system;
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

We’re back with another parent interview in which Rebecca shares her story of sending her young daughter to wilderness. Rebecca openheartedly shares how her daughter showed out-of-bound behavior throughout her entire life, even when she was a baby. Things eventually took a turn for the worse and Rebecca and her husband decided to send their daughter to wilderness. 

In this episode parent interview, we discuss:

• Rebecca’s experiences in sending her young daughter to wilderness;
• Learning to unenmesh with your teen;
• Becoming your own person while still showing up in your parent role;
• How consistent boundaries help facilitate healthy relationships with our children;
• The effects on siblings;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Do you ever feel in your gut that you should or shouldn’t do something, but you then take the opposite route? You ignore your inner knowing, overthink, look for justifications and betray yourself.

Even though we are instinctual beings, we live in a society that teaches us that we’re not. And it takes practice to start listening to our instincts again and to build the skill of listening to our own inner knowing. 

In this episode on self-betrayal, we discuss:

• What does self-betrayal mean?;
• Ignoring our inner knowing;
• Examples out of our own lives;
• Coming up with justifications;
• Seeking external validation;
• Taking on the role of the victim;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

So many well-intentioned therapists and people in the therapeutic industry suggest using ‘I feel’ statements to parents and families. What I see though, is that they’re not working. I want to shout from the rooftops: STOP THE ‘I FEEL’ STATEMENTS! But during my conversation with Seth, I realized it’s not about using them but it’s about the way we use them. So how are we currently misusing ‘I feel’ statements and how and when can we use them in an appropriate and effective way? That’s what we discuss in today’s episode!

In this episode on ‘I-feel’ statements we discuss:

• How are ‘I feel’ statements being misused?;
• The benefits of ‘I feel’ statements for kids and teens;
• Things to take into account when using ‘I feel’ statements as a parent;
• Pitfalls around ‘I feel’ statements;
• Conclusion: should we use ‘I feel’ statements or not?
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

The process and struggle doesn’t just stop after wilderness. In this second part of my interview with single parent Amy, we talk about the journey she and her daughter went through after wilderness. Their journey was full of ups and downs and looking back, Amy wishes she had made some different choices. 

In this parent interview we discuss:

• How Amy coped with the ups and downs;
• The various treatment programs Amy’s daughter went through after wilderness;
• Dealing with the what-ifs;
• What Amy has learned through all of this;
• Being an emotionally consistent parent;
• Building trust;
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Today, I’m interviewing a single mom named Amy whose daughter suffered from depressive thoughts, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. After trying several interventions at home like anti-depressants and PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program), Amy decided to send her just 15-year-old daughter to wilderness, followed by several treatment programs. 

Amy talks about how she discovered her emotionally enmeshed pattern with her daughter and how she learned to step back from being an emotionally helicopter parent. Listen closely to the interesting realization Amy had that it’s the family system as a whole that needed to shift, not just her daughter.

In this parent interview, we discuss:

• Amy’s experiences of trying out other things before deciding on wilderness;
• Her struggles as a mom trying to figure out what to do and how to do it;
• What Amy’s enmeshment patterns looked like;
• Helicopter parenting;
• Amy’s struggles throughout the transition when her daughter came home from wilderness.
• Getting to the place of acceptance;
• How Amy can create stillness within herself;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Enmeshment is a term to describe a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. Getting out of an enmeshment pattern is all about taking responsibility for your own part. But let’s be real, that’s not easy. That’s because your brain is in defense mode. It’s trying to protect you by blaming the other because it does not want to do the work itself.

We want to start holding our boundaries. But how do we get there? In today’s episode, I’ll dive deep into the 4-step plan to get out of a pattern of enmeshment and power struggles and start holding your boundaries.

In this episode on getting out of enmeshment and power struggles, we discuss:

• What is enmeshment?
• A personal example of my enmeshment pattern
• 4 steps to get out of a pattern of enmeshment and power struggles and start holding your boundaries
• Taking responsibility for your own part

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

As parents, we tend to think we know what’s best for our teens. And guess what? Our teens think in the same way. “If my parents would only do xyz…” In the moment, blaming someone else feels easier than taking responsibility. It’s human but it isn’t helpful.

We want to make the shift from being reactive to being responsive. In today’s episode, Seth and I share small, actionable steps you can take to start taking accountability for your own part.

In this episode on taking accountability for our own part, we discuss:

• What is your part as a parent and what is not?;
• How can we stop blaming the other person and start taking responsibility for our own part?;
• Beth’s experiences from the parent's perspective and Seth’s experiences from the teen’s perspective;
• Step-by-step on how to start taking accountability for your part (in a conflict);
• Red flags to watch out for;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

How do you take space for yourself to process everything life throws at you when you feel depleted and your bucket is empty? That’s what I’m talking about today with Seth Gottlieb. 

Life happens. Varying from regular life stressors to having children or loved ones making really tough choices. It can leave us feeling thinned out and those tend to be the moments we act from a place of reaction instead of taking the time to process. Even though taking this time to feel our feelings is exactly what is most helpful.

In this episode on feeling your feelings to increase your bandwidth, we discuss:

• How to increase your bandwidth;
• What taking time can look like;
• What you need to become aware of to increase your bandwidth;
• Learning how to feel and allow your feelings;
• Finding out how YOU can replenish;
• Honoring feelings during busy times;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Are you unknowingly sending your teen the message that their best isn’t good enough?

In this episode, we dig into a concept called "pointing positive," a term from river kayaking that can make a big difference in parenting teens through tough times. When we guide our kids toward what they want to achieve, instead of focusing on what they need to fix, we can help them feel more motivated and confident in their journey.

Think about it: if your teen has worked hard to bring their grades up from D’s and F’s to consistent C’s, it’s tempting to ask, “Why aren’t you getting B’s or A’s?” But focusing on what’s still lacking can undermine their progress, even when we mean well. By “pointing positive” and acknowledging their small steps forward, we show them that we see and value their growth, making it easier for them to keep pushing forward.

“If you are honoring the change that has been made, that encourages more change” - Beth Hillman

Seth and I discuss how, as parents, our attention impacts our kids’ motivation. It’s about shifting focus to what’s working, not ignoring reality, but being more mindful. When we highlight the positive changes, no matter how small, we’re reinforcing their resilience and progress.

And remember, change takes time and practice, for both us parents and our struggling teens. Here’s to guiding them forward, one positive step at a time.

In this episode on influencing your teen toward positive change, we discuss:

• Why focusing on the positive is more effective than focusing on the negative;
• How “pointing positive” can guide teens toward what they want to achieve;
• How our attention as parents influences our teen’s motivation to change;
• Simple shifts in word choice to emphasize progress and reinforce growth;
• Why sustainable change often happens in smaller, gradual steps over time;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

We’re back with the second part of the parent interview with Sandi and Don, parents of a post-wilderness teen. If you haven’t listened to the first part of my interview with Sandi and Don, go check out the previous episode first. 

Sandi and Don decided to bring their son directly home from wilderness and today we discuss what happened once their son was back home. We talk about:

• What was it like once their son returned home from wilderness?;
• The reason behind old behaviours returning;
• Their process of finding mutually beneficial boundaries;
• Emotional consequensing;
• Viewing hard times as time of growth;
• What advice they would give their pre-wilderness self.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

It was just hell on earth. That’s how Sandi describes their home situation before she and her husband Don sent their son to wilderness.

This episode is for you if you are researching options to help your struggling teen, considering wilderness for your kid, or if your kid is currently in wilderness.

In this parent interview with Sandi and Don, we discuss:

• What it felt like sending their son to wilderness;
• The fears they felt regarding wilderness;
• What it was like when their son was away;
• Their experiences with wilderness and whether they feel like wilderness delivered on what it said it was going to go;
• When they first realized they had work to do themselves as parents;
• How they made the decision to bring their son home straight from wilderness;
• What it was like when their son came home with a whole new skill set that they hadn’t learned yet themselves.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

----------
Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Is your teen refusing to go to school? Or maybe they refuse to make their homework? Today, we’re diving deep into the why behind school refusal and the emotions driving this behavior so we as parents can begin to understand where this behavior of refusing school is coming from and how to deal with it. 

You see, school refusal has everything to do with emotions. It’s our nervous system’s way to avoid uncomfortable feelings and keep us safe. So how do we deal with this situation as parents? 

We’ll talk about the emotions driving the behavior of school refusal, why our bodies react in defense when uncomfortable feelings come up, why uncomfortable feelings aren’t bad, the steps we as parents need to take to deal with our teen’s school refusal, how parents can act from a place of understanding instead of judgment and the questions to ask our teens to get more understanding of the driving emotions behind their school refusal.

Have a listen and let me know your thoughts!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Let’s talk about something we ALL do but should stop immediately. I’m talking about creating worst-case scenario stories in our heads that get us spiraling into unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and actions instead of staying with the facts.

In this week’s episode, we’ll talk about the difference between circumstances (facts) and stories (thoughts); the power of thoughts, why our brain makes up stories, the reason why the stories we tell ourselves are unhelpful, and of course how to start separating thoughts from facts.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

What does the journey through Wilderness Therapy look like from the parent’s perspective? In this second part of our interview with parent Amy, we discuss the ins and outs of Wilderness Therapy: before, during, and after. 

How did Amy and her husband decide which program would be best for their son? What did the process look like of actually getting him to the Wilderness program? What was this process like for Amy as the parent? What was the hardest part? And what happened after Wilderness was over? 

Amy’s openheartedly sharing her experiences with you in today’s episode. Tune in and have a listen!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Today, we’re interviewing Amy, who’s sharing her experiences as a mom who sent her teen to wilderness therapy. 

Amy’s son started out as a happy, bubbly kid but when he reached puberty, he started getting more moody and depressed. Things took a turn for the worse and he started using video games as a coping mechanism. Slowly, she saw her bright son become withdrawn and miserable to be with. 

In this first part of the interview with Amy, we’re honing in on their home situation before wilderness, the things they tried to help their teen at home, the pressure on their marriage, and how they eventually decided wilderness therapy would be their best option. 

I know Amy’s story will resonate with many parents out there, so tune in and have a listen!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

We all do it frequently but it can be one of the most stressful situations. Yep, we’re talking about driving in a car with your struggling teen. 

Whether it’s because you as a parent feel stressed, your struggling teen is showing maladaptive behaviors, or a specifically stressful situation occurs, when things get heated while driving, it can feel like you have no way out. In the heat of the moment, your brain might tell you otherwise, but I’m here to tell you that you have options. Let’s discuss them in today’s episode!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Your teen is struggling, showing maladaptive behaviors. Family dynamics are off. You’ve been trying to get them to change but nothing is working. But is that really the way to go? 

In this episode of Parenting Post-Wilderness, Seth and I are introducing the idea and mindset that change really does begin with us, parents. I’m sharing my own story of how I blamed my son for everything. It wasn’t until we brought him to wilderness that I began to learn and understand my part in this. And I know many other parents feel the same way.

Tune in to learn more about the role we as parents play in our teen’s struggles and the family dynamics in our house.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Do you feel like you’ve failed your struggling teen? You feel like you’re the only one, no one could possibly understand, and no one is able to help. Yeah, I’ve been there. And so have many, many other parents. 

And you know what? I was wrong. They were wrong. And so are you.

In today’s episode, I don’t only tell you WHY we’re all wrong when we think no one can help but I’m also walking you through the mindset shift I made that changed everything. For me, for my struggling teen, and for our family. Tune in and have a listen!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Welcome to Parenting Post-wilderness!

This podcast is your guide to parenting a struggling teen, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment.

Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm and panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen.

Listen in to discover how parents like you have learned to influence equanimity in the home and rebuild connections with the teens they love.

We're officially launching on September 6th 2022, so stay tuned!

Connect with Beth on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or find more information about working with Beth on her website www.bethhillmancoaching.com

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Ever found yourself reacting strongly to something, even when it seems like “no big deal”? Or maybe, in a tense moment, you freeze or shut down instead of reacting? 

If you’re a parent of a struggling teen, be it addiction, mental health struggles, suicidal ideation  or a different struggle, you’ve probably felt your own heart skip a beat more times than you can count. 

Today, I talk with trauma therapist Sarah Allen about why we sometimes overreact (or shut down) in response to certain triggers and how it all comes down to our bodies trying to protect us.

Sarah breaks down the idea that trauma doesn’t just live in the mind - it lives in the body. Even when our heads know “things are okay,” our nervous systems might still be on high alert, especially if we’ve been through overwhelming experiences with our kids in the past. It’s that part of us that steps in to make sure we don’t go through that kind of pain again. But sometimes, this automatic response can show up as a jolt of panic, a wave of anger, or even a complete shutdown.

As parents, we’re human too. And with the right tools and support, we can navigate our own responses, even when this journey with our kids takes us through some incredibly challenging terrain.

In this episode on understanding trauma responses in parents of struggling teens, we explore:

• Why our bodies sometimes react before our minds even have a chance;
• How trauma can make it hard to know what’s truly safe or dangerous;
• What over- and under-responses look like as a parent of a struggling teen in treatment or recovery;
• How to bring self-compassion to the way we show up, even if it’s not perfect;
• Different therapeutic approaches, including tips for finding the right fit for you or your family;
• And much more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Fear has a sneaky way of impacting our brains, pushing us toward avoiding what feels uncomfortable instead of working through it. For many of us, fear makes us want to avoid the situation, but doing that keeps us from working through what needs to be done.

It’s important to understand that fear is an emotion that comes and goes, just like other emotions. But what does fear bring up in us as parents, and in our struggling teens? Thinking back to the time before our son went to wilderness, I remember thinking ‘There’s nothing to be done. We’ve lost him.’ My brain was giving up on him out of fear.

“I think fear basically stalls people out” - Beth Hillman

So how can you face fear? How can you bring it with you, allowing it to take place in the passenger’s seat instead of taking over the wheel? We’re talking all about it in today’s episode.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What fear does to us as parents and how to recognize its impact;
• The kinds of fear our teens might experience, especially coming out of treatment;
• What helps parents and teens work through their fears?;
• Practical strategies for parents to manage their own fears while supporting their teens;
• How understanding love languages can help us better understand our struggling teens;
• And much more

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

It’s easy to forget to prioritize ourselves as parents, especially when our children are struggling. In this episode, Seth and I dive into the emotional balancing act of parenting a teen in treatment while still finding time for self-care. It’s common to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, especially when your child is away in treatment. Whether you feel guilty about telling your kid that you had a good day while they’re in treatment, or it feels exhausting to you to always be 'on' as a solo parent, it’s crucial to make time for self-care.

“It’s one of the hardest asks, but it’s so important to be intentional about [self-care]” - Beth Hillman

But filling your own cup isn’t just crucial for yourself, but also for your teen. The way you find balance and make time for self-care can be a great model for your child, even if they don’t show appreciation right away.

If you've ever felt guilty for having a good day or wondered how to balance taking care of yourself while being there for your child, this episode is for you.

In this episode on self-care for parents, we discuss:

• The emotional guilt parents feel when taking care of themselves while their teen is in treatment;
• The importance of self-care for parents and how it affects your ability to support your child;
• How modeling self-care can project its importance to your child;
• Balancing self-care with parenting responsibilities;
• What does true self-care look like for parents?;
• The 3 main ways to fill you cup and practice self-care as a parent;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Your teen appears calm and composed with their therapist but displays anger or aggression at home, how frustrating!? It feels like you're dealing with two completely different versions of the same person.

In this episode, Seth and I explore the challenge of handling teens who have been through enough therapy to know exactly what to say to 'work the system.' While their providers see one side, you as a parent experience something entirely different. We’ll talk about how to navigate these mixed signals, how actions often speak louder than words, and how you can open up this conversation with your teen. Have a listen!

In this episode, we discuss:

• Teens showing different behaviors at home vs. in therapy;
• The frustration parents feel when their child “works the system.”;
• Actions as a more accurate reflection of what's really happening;
• Opening the conversation between your teen, their therapist, and you;
• Why your teen might feel the need to present themselves differently with their providers;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Balancing the need for rules with the desire for connection can be incredibly challenging when parenting teens. In this episode, therapist Trevor Allen and I dive into the complex dynamics of rules versus boundaries versus expectations and how to navigate them in a way that promotes healthy relationships.

We discuss the confusion that can arise when trying to balance control and support, particularly when parenting a struggling teen. It’s not just about setting strict rules but more about understanding how to teach our kids how to treat us through our own actions and the boundaries we set. We want to influence without trying to control, allowing for growth while maintaining a healthy home environment.

One key takeaway from our conversation is that zero-tolerance policies can set kids up for failure, particularly when dealing with issues like addiction. So let’s explore other options in today’s episode. 

“If I lived with anybody and ALL they could see are the things that are problematic that I’m doing, I would have a really hard time being around that person. I think that’s a relationship destroyer” - Trevor Allen

If you’re wondering how to create a supportive yet structured environment for your child without taking their choices personally, this episode is for you.

In this episode on rules vs. boundaries vs. expectations, we discuss: 

• The differences between rules, boundaries, and expectations in parenting;
• How to influence your struggling teen without controlling them;
• Managing yourself and maintaining a healthy home environment;
• Supporting your teen despite poor decisions and bad behavior;
• The importance of focusing on what you do, not just what you say;
• Why controlling the situation by controlling your teen doesn’t work;
• Being consistent with rules vs. being flexible to meet your teen’s needs;
• The impact of only seeing the negative and how to shift focus to positive progress;
• Why nuance and flexibility in rules can improve family dynamics.

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

What’s it actually like for your teen to be in wilderness or other treatment?

As parents, we can never truly know. But today’s guest, Ciara Fanlo, has been through it herself. According to her, the emotional stages our teens go through in treatment are very similar to the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance & hope, and processing grief. 

So what does that look like for your teen? In this episode, Ciara shares her thoughts and experiences going through each of these steps. Like when she was going through the ‘denial’ phase and remembers thinking: “There’s no way I’ll be staying here for 12 weeks. My mom loves me, when I write her there’s no way she’s going to let me stay that long.”

I cannot describe how valuable it is to actually hear the thoughts of someone who’s been through it all themselves, as a teen. Tune in to hear Ciara’s mindblowing insights.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The emotional stages your teen or young adult will experience in treatment, similar to the 7 stages of grief;
• How shock affects both teens and parents when entering treatment;
• Why resistance and anger can be healthy steps in the process;
• Processing grief over lost time and emotional struggles.
• How to manage your own expectations as a parent through the ups and downs
• The importance of letting your teen move through these stages at their own pace

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Ciara Fanlo

Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world. 

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

We all know that feeling when something doesn’t sit right, but we shrug it off, telling ourselves, “It’s not a big deal.” Yet, over time, those little moments of unspoken frustration build up, slowly shrinking our emotional bandwidth until we snap over the tiniest thing. Whether it's a parent feeling taken for granted or a struggling teen wondering why they’re the only one doing all the hard work, resentment can do a lot of harm when left unchecked.

In this episode, Seth and I tackle the tricky topic of resentment, how it sneaks up on us as parents and what we can do about it before it takes over, as well as the resentment our struggling teens might feel, especially those who have been in treatment.

“A lot of my resentment comes from an unrealistic expectation that I have of somebody else that I have not yet expressed.” - Seth Gottlieb

The truth is, resentment often grows from unspoken expectations and emotions. I share my journey of being the passive parent until my resentment boiled over, and Seth explains why teens, too, feel resentful when they’re the only ones expected to change or feel like they’re the only ones putting in all the work.

In this episode on resentment between parents and teens, we discuss:

• How resentment builds and why we often ignore it until it’s too late;
• The importance of being emotionally honest with ourselves and our loved ones;
• Why struggling teens may feel resentment towards us, especially those who have been in treatment;
• How resentment can be an indicator that you’re not staying true to your values as a parent;
• Strategies to prevent resentment by communicating expectations clearly and consistently;
• And much more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

Related podcast episodes:
102. Why Your Teen Isn’t Acting Like an Adult
66. How To Bring Up Backburner Issues With Tanya Hale

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

What do you do when you’ve tried everything? Your teen has been to wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, partial hospitalization programs, and more—and yet, the struggles persist. The behaviors, the fears, the maladaptive patterns, they all return in some way or form when your teen comes back home. What now?

In this episode, I’m joined again by the incredible Ciara Fanlo, a former “troubled teen” turned mentor and coach for struggling teens. Together, we delve into the feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and fear that come when walking this path as a parent. But also the deep shame and self-blame your teen probably carries when nothing seems to help.

Ciara shares her perspective as someone who’s been in your teen’s shoes. She recalls her own experience of questioning, “What’s so wrong with me that nothing works?” and the heavy belief that she was beyond help. It’s a heartbreaking place to be, for both teens and their families.

But as Ciara and I explore, the search for answers doesn’t have to center on blame. There’s a profound shift that happens when we let go of what’s out of our control and begin to focus on acceptance. As I share in the episode, I remember the moment I stopped fighting against everything I couldn’t change. That moment of surrender wasn’t giving up, it was a recognition of what was within my power and where I could still make a difference.

If you’ve ever felt the fatigue of doing all the “right” things as a parent but still feeling stuck, this conversation is for you.

In this episode on what to do when nothing seems to work for your struggling teen, we explore:

• Why the pursuit of control can often exhaust us without bringing real change;
• How teens experience their own shame and self-blame in these situations;
• What it means to shift from blame to acceptance;
• Practical ways to find a healthy sense of control, even in the hardest moments;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Ciara Fanlo
Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

We are all wired to avoid uncomfortable feelings. We instinctively shy away from discomfort, parents and teens alike. Whether it’s solving a problem for our kids, distracting ourselves from uncomfortable feelings, or we’re trying to save the day, we often act to avoid the tension. But here’s the hard truth: our teens need to experience that discomfort in order to grow. In this episode, Seth and I explore why learning to sit with emotional unease, both for ourselves and our teens or young adults, is key to developing resilience and problem-solving skills.

As parents, it’s all too easy to step in and “rescue” our kids when they’re struggling. But where’s the line between helping and enabling? Is stepping in actually saving them from distress, or is it preventing them from learning how to handle their own emotions? I share a story from one of my clients about how a teen’s persistent pushback led the parent to second-guess their boundaries, ultimately giving in to avoid discomfort. It’s a common trap, but real growth happens when we, as parents, can sit with that unease a little longer than our kids, helping them build the skills they need to handle life’s emotional challenges.

In this episode on learning to sit with discomfort, we explore:

• How long can you tolerate emotional discomfort before feeling the need to act?;
• The fine line between helping and enabling your child;
• Why sitting with your own distress can help your child develop problem-solving skills;
• The importance of modeling emotional resilience for your kids;
• How to balance support and structure when parenting teens.

Listen now to learn how to help your teen build emotional resilience and problem-solving skills by managing your own discomfort first!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Co-parenting is hard - there’s no sugarcoating it. In an ideal world, both parents would align perfectly on every decision, from phone use to curfews to navigating friendships. But, as Seth and I explore in this episode, that’s often not the case. 

One of the biggest challenges I often see as a parent coach is when one parent holds firm boundaries while the other is more loose. It can feel like a tug-of-war, and the fear of "losing" your child to the more relaxed parent is real. But here’s the thing: I’ve consistently found that when healthy boundaries are set (and consequences stuck to) with kindness, compassion, and understanding, your child, teen, or young adult will still enjoy being around you. 

You don’t have to undermine your co-parent to uphold your values, and you don’t have to be afraid of the different influences your child is getting from the other parent. Let’s take a deeper look at all of this in today’s episode!

In this episode on co-parenting challenges, we discuss:

• Why you don’t have to be afraid of ‘losing’ your child to the other parent by setting more strict boundaries;
• How to uphold your value system without undermining the other parent;
• The damaging effects of speaking negatively about the other parent or dismissing their boundaries;
• The natural reaction of our brain to blame others and how to turn the reflection back on yourself;
• And much more!

If you ever think to yourself:

• "What do I do if my ex undermines my parenting?"
• "How can I co-parent without putting my child in the middle?"
• "Why does my ex always get to be the fun parent?"
• "Am I losing my child to the other parent by setting strict boundaries?"
• "What’s the best way to co-parent when we don’t agree?"
• "How can I co-parent without conflict?"

…then this episode is for you! Let’s dive in!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

“An adolescent brain, it is what it is for a reason”- Brittney King

The teenage years can feel like a rollercoaster. One moment your young teen is playing it cool, and the next, they’re literally rolling on the ground pretending to be a dog. Sound familiar? In this week’s episode, I sit down with Brittney King, a licensed counselor, mom of five, and creator of the Think Good Feel Good online courses, to dive into the world of teens, particularly those in Junior High, aged 11-15. 

“It’s such a key time for parents ... to be a guiding force.” - Brittney King

Brittney has a unique insight into our teen’s brain development throughout these years and why this unpredictable phase is so crucial for their development, and for us as parents. Their unpredictability can feel frustrating for us as parents (I’m not the only one who thinks sometimes ‘WHAT am I going to do with my teen?!’, right?) but understanding the teenage brain can help us be more tolerant of our kids as they explore, learn, and develop. 

One thing Brittney has learned from being a counselor is that there is not one teenager out there who’s not struggling with something. What surprised her the most was how much they want to talk to adults about their problems. They don’t always show it and they certainly want some independence but that doesn’t mean they don’t need you to still be there and helping and supporting them through it. 

“Teachers, coaches, therapists, they will come and go. But there is no substitute for caring and intentional parenting.” - Brittney King

It’s not about being a perfect parent or trying to be their therapist (they’ll see right through you!). What they care about is you connecting with them. They care about whether you’re showing up for them and whether they truly believe that you are there for them unconditionally, even when they don’t know how to ask for it.

Let’s hear more invaluable wisdom from Brittney in today’s episode.

In this episode on the brain development of teenagers, we cover:

• Why unpredictability is actually part of teen brain development;
• The importance of being a guiding force;
• How to connect with your teen without trying to “fix” them;
• The difference between helping and letting your teen solve their own problems;
• The importance of developing emotional intelligence for parents raising teens;
• What does it mean to be a safe person for your teen to open up to?;
• What teens are looking for in their parents;
• And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Links & resources mentioned in this episode:

• You can reach out to Brittney on her website brittneykingcoaching.com or send her an email at brittney@brittneykingcoaching.com
• Get 50% off the Think Good Feel Good online course bundle for parents and teens with promo code: bethcoaching
• Research by Donald Winnicott: Good Enough Parenting
• Book by Ellen Galinsky: The Breakthrough Years 

You can support the show by:

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

What if improving your relationship with your teen starts with changing yourself?

Are you willing to look at your own behavior to improve your relationship with your teen? If you know me at all, you know I truly believe the change begins with us. In this episode, Seth and I dive deeper into what that actually means for you as a parent. 

Seth dropped quite the truth bomb in this episode: "None of us is perfect in how we relate to everybody." And isn't that the crux of it? We go into situations armed with a laundry list of demands and expectations for our teens or partners, but how often do we take a step back and ask ourselves if we’re holding up our end of the bargain?

Here’s the thing—no one wants to change when they feel attacked. Think about it: How would you feel if your teen came at you with a list of your shortcomings? You’d probably get defensive, right? Well, guess what? Your teen feels the same way. 

“If I’m asking someone else to be honest, I better look in the mirror and just ask myself ‘How honest am I being?’” - Beth Hillman 

Real change starts when we’re willing to look in the mirror and look at our own part first - a little self-reflection I challenge you to do as we explore these ideas in this week’s episode. Let’s dive in.

In this episode on improving your relationship with your struggling teen through self-awareness, we discuss:

• Self-Awareness in Parenting: Recognizing your own weaknesses and how they impact your relationships, especially with your struggling teen;
• The Importance of Mutual Respect: Understanding that in any relationship, there must be a balance of give and take;
• Avoiding an Authoritarian Approach: Realizing that setting rigid expectations and demands without self-reflection won't foster positive change in your teen;
• Owning Your Role: Accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamic and being open to self-improvement;
• Effective Communication: Emphasizing the need to clearly communicate your needs to avoid resentment;
• And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

Have you ever snapped at your partner or your teen over something small, not really sure why you overreacted? Or like no matter how much sleep you get or how many cups of coffee you drink, there’s still a part of you that feels completely drained? 

Oof, believe me, you’re not alone. In this episode, Seth and I dive deep into a topic that resonates with every parent: understanding our limits and how to recognize when we’re stretched too thin.

We often fill our days with obligations or even fun activities that keep us busy, but rarely do we pause to ask, “How am I really doing emotionally, physically, mentally, relationally, and spiritually?”

“A lot of times when there’s emotional stress in my life, I’m giving out a ton of emotional energy, but I don’t realize the physical toll it’s taking on me.” - Seth Gottlieb

It’s a reality many of us parents face: We push ourselves beyond our physical and emotional limits without even noticing the signs our bodies are sending us.

Have you ever noticed how your energy automatically flows to your obligations? Work, your teen, … you name it. But what happens when our personal cup is empty? That’s when we tend to overreact to minor inconveniences, not because of the small things themselves, but because we are simply exhausted. And it’s hard not to let this exhaustion seep into our family dynamics, leading to unhealthy interactions.

Seth and I break down how to become more self-aware and communicate your current emotional bandwidth to your partner and children. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about always being positive or suppressing emotions. It's about recognizing what's really going on inside you and being honest about it. Because let’s be real: until we’re fully taking care of ourselves, we can’t be fully present for others.

But self-awareness takes practice. It requires us to pause and check in with ourselves regularly. Are we really okay, or are we just telling ourselves we are? What activities genuinely fill our buckets, and which ones are simply distractions?

Let’s explore this more together in today’s episode!

In this episode on becoming aware of our own limits as parents, we discuss:

• Recognizing our own physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual limits as parents;
• Understanding how our capacity can impact those around us;
• The cost for ourselves and our families of Ignoring our needs as parents;
• The connection between physical and emotional energy and how this impacts our behavior and family dynamics.
• Differentiating between enjoyable and restorative activities;
• Having empathy for the energy needs of others, especially our struggling teens;
• Learning to communicate our current emotional state and limitations to our family members;
• Building healthier interactions within the family by understanding and managing our own energy levels;
• How self-regulation and self-awareness are key to being the best parent we can be.

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

As parents, it’s natural to want to do everything we can to support our struggling teens or young adults. But where do we draw the line between encouraging them to grow and enabling them to remain dependent? 

It’s a delicate balance and I’m joined again by therapist Trevor Allen to dive into one of the more challenging questions for any parent: How do we figure out what our teens are truly capable of?

How much should you be doing for your kids? Should you be doing something for them when they can do it themselves? 

It’s tempting to step in and help, especially when you see your teen struggling. But here’s the catch: by doing too much, we might be taking away the very opportunities they need to learn, grow, and mature. 

Because the truth is: growth happens in the struggle. 

It’s in those moments of challenge and difficulty that our teens build resilience and develop the skills they’ll need for life.

In this episode, we also explore the concept of self-efficacy, or the belief in one’s ability to succeed.

“As parents, we have to somehow be able to open up the possibility of them actually being successful, which does open up the possibility of them failing again. But we have to be willing to open up a certain amount” - Beth Hillman

It’s a tricky balance, but it’s essential for their growth. 

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering how much is too much when it comes to helping your teen, this episode is for you. Trevor and I unpack these complex questions and offer practical insights on how to support your teen in a way that empowers them to take charge of their own life. 

In this episode on encouraging vs. enabling, we discuss:

• How can you determine what your struggling teen or young adult is capable of in order to set appropriate expectations and boundaries based on their capabilities?;
• How to decide how much you can help your teen without enabling dependency;
• The growth that comes from struggle and the importance of allowing your teen to face challenges independently;
• Avoiding the mindset of “they’re not doing it, so they can’t do it,” and recognizing when your actions cross the line from supportive to enabling;
• The importance of getting to know your child deeply to understand what they truly need, rather than focusing on getting them to do more or less;
• How you can help your teen without doing things entirely for them by taking baby steps out of enabling;
• Your role as a parent in helping your teen build the necessary skills to overcome their challenges without overwhelming them;
• The need for you to open up the possibility of your teen being successful, even if it means risking failure;
• The importance of self-efficacy and its role in your teen’s development.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!

You want your teen to be sober, don’t you? But aren’t you focusing on the wrong goal by expecting your teen not to drink any alcohol or take any substances? And what does being sober actually mean? Does it mean the same thing to you as it does to your teen?

“Progress, navigation, experimentation, these are normal parts of teenage and young-adult life” - Seth Gottlieb

Sobriety is a complex topic and I’m grateful to be having a deep discussion with Seth today, who has some interesting takes while sharing about his own thoughts and feelings from his path to sobriety.

Here’s one big takeaway from today’s episode: We have to remember the goal. Is the goal to check a box, out of fear and insecurity? Or is the goal a happy and healthy teen?

“There’s this one little piece, [sobriety] and if we focus on that piece, … you’re missing the entire context of other things that they’re accomplishing and other progress they’re making in their lives” - Beth

As parents, we often go black and white. Sober or addict. I get that. First of all, I’ve been there. Second of all, we’re often dealing with very young brains and it feels like there’s so much at stake!

But what if they need this experimentation to figure out whether or not this is something that can be a part of their life?

Join us today in this discussion about what sobriety means, to you and to your struggling teen, and whether it should be a goal to strive for or not.

In this episode on what it means to be sober and whether it’s really that important, we discuss:

• A multiple pathways approach versus a one-shoe-fits-all, abstinence policy;
• Focussing on the root cause versus the symptom of drinking or using drugs;
• Creating a safe space for your teen to confide in you;
• What does sobriety mean to you? And what does it mean to your teen?;
• Is sobriety a good goal to strive for or should we be focusing on something else?;
• And much more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

🔆 Small GROUP COACHING program starting September 3rd, 2025 🔆
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there!