We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The ladies not for binning. The Daily Mail is outraged that Starmer ditched a portrait of Thatcher from No. 10. Fur coat, no knickers. The Times profiles another middle class swinger. Plus – Dog days are over! The Star has found boffins who claim they can speak to man’s best friend.   Miranda Sawyer is joined by stand-up comedian Jacob Hawley and journalist Jonn Elledge.   Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!   Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com   Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow   Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com   Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production.   Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Up in smoke. The Sun is freaking out over leaked plans to extend the smoking ban to pub gardens!  Cat’s meow. The Guardian celebrates the bad ass cat ladies. Plus – Do the Fandango? The Telegraph just doesn't understand super fans. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by stand up comedian Jessica Fostekew and TL;DR News host Ben Blissett. Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here! Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production. Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Five people have been arrested in connection to Matthew Perry’s death and The Sun has the details. 20/25 vision. The Guardian takes a look at Trump’s mad fashion as CNN details what is really happening with Project 2025. Plus – Hands off my buns. The Times asks what level of punishment is suitable for an office sandwich snatcher.   Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalists Rob Hutton and Holly Thomas.   Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com   Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow   Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com   Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production   Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Teheran to Tel Aviv. Biden states his support for Israel as threats of Iranian attack rise. The Spy Who Came In For A Quickie. The Mail’s discovered why you can’t honeytrap a French spy. Plus – I like big knickers and I cannot lie. Bridget Jones is back! What do fun-loving Gen Z think of the cig-smoking, booze-battering feminist icon?    Andrew Harrison is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Marcus Brigstocke     Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Andrew Harrison. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Bot in the name of love! Sex columnist Kate Lister’s tested out an A.I. boyfriend – and it ended in heartbreak . How to get away with a second family. Mail writer has an affair with ‘perfect man’, but things are not as they seem… Plus – A Real Game Changer. The papers think Scrabble has gone woke and they do NOT like it.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and host of Good Bad Billionaire podcast Zing Tsjeng and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Freeee… Donald Trump! The former US president is comparing himself to Nelson Mandela and we’re perplexed. Social mousing. Disney is building a curated living community in California. Why? Plus – All’s fair in love and law. An American man is suing women he claims ‘ruined his love life’ with nasty comments on facebook. Jacob Jarvis is joined by political sketch writer for The Critic magazine Rob Hutton and host of Pod Save The UK Coco Khan. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Neighbourhood Watch. The Mail are going after where Labour Deputy leader Angela Rayner lives. Jog on. Russ Cook aka ‘The Hardest Geezer’ has run the length of Africa. Plus – Three more reps of kissing strangers! How to cheat on your partner, according to an infidelity coach.    Miranda Sawyer is joined by LBC host Natasha Devon and comedy writer Fergus Craig    Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Honey Trap Sex Scandal! Tory MP gives his mates’ phone numbers to shady person on Grindr. What could go wrong? Too Soon. The Times insists on telling us about Amy Winehouse’s men. Plus – We are so back. Blind Date might be returning and we’re here for the nostalgia.     Miranda Sawyer is joined by political correspondent for PoliticsJOE Ava Santina and comedian Athena Kugblenu.    Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Things can only get better! Labour are on track for an election victory larger than Blair’s in 1997. Don’t worry, be happy. Can The Guardian find its fun side? A reporter goes to a ballpit to find out. Plus – Why can’t we be friends? The i works out the perfect number of mates.    Jacob Jarvis is joined by TLDR News lead writer Ben Blissett and master impressionist Jan Ravens.    Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: “Completely unacceptable”. World leaders react as an Israeli air strike kills aid workers. Humanoid Resources. The Times investigates whether AI can help you land a new job. Plus – Dish the Dirt! Why you should shower less, according to Johnathan Ross Jacob Jarvis is joined by CNN comment writer Holly Thomas and journalist and New Statesman columnist Jonn Elledge Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rough sleeping. The Conservatives are pondering whether to fine the homeless thousands of pounds. Laser focus! The Times’ has the scoop on the new self improvement devices you don’t need. Plus – Mum’s the word. Liz Hurley’s son Damian is in the spotlight – with questions over his credentials beyond family ties…  Miranda Sawyer is joined by Popbitch editor Chris Lochery and comedian Gráinne Maguire Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s special edition, we’re thrilled to be joined by two former Prime Ministers to look at the hot news stories of the day. On the agenda: Maths for Meals. Rishi Sunak wants kids to pass numeracy tests for free school meals. Penny Pinchers. Piggy banks to be accepted as deposits for 0.00003% mortgages. Plus –  Generation Sex. A Guardian journalist has tested out a Boomer, Millennial and Gen Z sex party. Who does it best?     Miranda Sawyer is joined by ex-PM and journalist Boris Johnson and ex-PM Liz Truss.    Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Boris Johnson and Liz Truss were brought to you by Marcus Brigstocke and Jan Ravens. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. With special thanks to Jason Hazeley. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Monkey Business. We tell the story of Honshu, the Japanese macaque’s highland adventure. Can’t get no Satisfaction! The Daily Mail highlights the plight of a mother of 5 who has never climaxed. Plus – The Famine Queen. We take a look at the legacy of Queen Victoria and then wash our mouths out with soap and water.     Miranda Sawyer is joined by New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge, Pod Save the UK’s Coco Khan, Popbitch editor Chris Lochery and from the world of comedy: Scottee, Jason Hazeley, Daniel Foxx, Marcus Brigstocke, Rosie Holt and the BAFTA nominated Gráinne Maguire.     Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey, Simon Williams, Alex Rees and Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Production Assistant: Adam Wright,. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Send in the clowns. The i ask why can’t Liz Truss take a joke, after the former PM flipped out over a lettuce prank. Go your own way. The Sun mourns the end of ‘Gen Z’s Charles and Diana’. Plus – When I’m 64. The Guardian has unlocked the secret of ageing and nobody on the panel is happy with the answer.   Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by comic writer Jason Hazeley and journalist Jonn Elledge.   Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com   Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow   Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com   Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production   Podmasters.co.uk   ENDS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Coked Up Crustaceans. Sewage scandal leaves sealife high as a flying fish. Pulp crucifixion. The Easter culture wars are here, and The Telegraph is leading the charge. Plus – Fancy that! The Independent laments the ‘crush crash’, but what is it?    Jacob Jarvis is joined by LBC host Natasha Devon and comedian Jessica Fostekew.    Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Tenuous Royal Connection. How have the papers managed to connect Prince Harry to the P Diddy raid? Strapper’s delight. Give pegging a chance, says the i’s doyenne of sex columnists Kate Lister i. Plus – Mission Kim Possible! Why on earth did North Korea blur out Alan Titchmarsh’s trousers? Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedy writer Jason Hazeley Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Don Poorleone. Former President and fake tan enthusiast Donald Trump manages to escape financial disaster for now. The Generational Game. The Times outlines the hallmarks of each generation – and we disagree heartily. Plus – Hopping Nad. Nadine Dorries is feeling herself at sixty-six – and she’s telling anybody who’ll listen. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Daniel Foxx. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Anarchy in the Monarchy. The fallout from Kate’s cancer diagnosis panics the broadsheets. Vive La Révolution! French feminist tells women to strike for a better life. Plus – Stormy Wether. A Times journalist tries 24 hours in a Wetherspoon’s. Does he make it? Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedians Marcus Brigstocke and Rosie Holt. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The shirt hits the fans. Nike’s ‘playful’ update on the newest England kits causes a completely proportional right wing meltdown. Trunk and disorderly. Botswana threatens to send 10,000 elephants to the UK. Plus – How do you eat yours? It’s Creme Egg season, and The Telegraph goes into full investigation mode. Miranda Sawyer is joined by Hits Radio and Noted podcast host Mary Mandefield and BAFTA nominated comedian Gráinne Maguire Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Chris Jones. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Yes Sir! French President Macron goes full thirst trap on the front page of The Telegraph – and Obama’s getting praised for his flat tummy too. Late life crisis. The ninety-year-olds turning it around in their twilight years. Plus – Check you out! The Telegraph is taking on the big issues again: why self-checkouts are apparently terrible.      Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker podcast host Andrew Harrison and comedian Matt Green.      Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pap smear. Sneaky Kate photo snapper tells everyone else to leave the Princess alone. Smells like teen dispirit. The earth's burning, there’s a housing crisis but the papers are still wondering why young people aren’t as happy as their parents. Plus – Drop it like Grandma. Need style tips? Look to your gran. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian Esther Manito. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Chris Jones. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Well that settles that… or does it? The Sun has found Princess Kate outside a farmhouse in Windsor, but the masses are unconvinced. Sense and Insensibility. Jeremy Clarkson’s had a go at ‘boring’ Jane Austen and The Star isn’t having it. Plus – Gone with the Widows. Scottish Widows Group Limited told they can’t say widows any more. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by sketch writer for The Critic Rob Hutton and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Follow the leader? Is Penny Mordaunt about to topple Rishi Sunak? Oh the Cheek! Why men are working on bountiful booties. Plus – Love is in the airplane? The people brought together by missed connections ads.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by i columnist Rebecca Reid and comedian Marcus Brigstocke. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates and tell them why we’re your favourite podcast: papercutsshow.co.uk Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Stag-nation. The May General election is OFF and we’re all bereft. Sparkle with Markle. The Duchess of Sussex teaches us how to make marmalade and more with her new “lifestyle brand”. Plus – Yeah, I’m a DINKWAD, wad of it? The Times has the scoop on the new social groups and we’re struggling to keep up. Miranda Sawyer is joined by reporter at PoliticsJOE Ava Santina and comedian and master impressionist for Dead Ringers Jan Ravens. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Work it out! The Telegraph and Daily Mail take on the “workshy” nation. Honourable Bosses! Meghan and Harry’s chief of staff has quit and The Sun couldn’t be happier. Plus – Let’s do the time warp again. The i think we need to crack out the leg warmers and parent our children like we’re in the 80s.     Natasha Devon is joined by the host of How was it for you? Marcus Brigstocke and Podmasters big kahuna Andrew Harrison.    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Natasha Devon. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production    Podmasters.co.uk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Clock Is TikToking! The US is on the verge of banning TikTok over links to the Chinese Government. That sinking feeling. Australian billionaire wants to relaunch the Titanic and the reception is icy. Plus – Not like the other girls. The Mail’s women-are-rubbish correspondent Samantha Brick has never been dumped… because she’s just better than you.    Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by host of Pod Save The UK Coco Khan and comedian Daniel Foxx.    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Donor Kebabbed! The Guardian reveals more of Tory donor Frank Hester’s ‘jokes’ – and no one is laughing.  Mum’s the word. Pop star Lily Allen says having kids ruined her career. Plus – Woof justice. Vet watchdog says bills are too high and the papers have the lead.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of and comedian Rosie Holt. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Picture Imperfect! The press jumps to the defence of amateur photographer Kate Middleton and we aren’t buying it. Lee’s done another runner. Former Labour councillor turned Conservative turned independent turns to Farage’s Reform UK in shock party swap. Plus – Not written in the stars. Gen Z are refusing to work with non-compatible star signs, which is so Gemini of them.  Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Photo strop! A doctored photo of Kate Middleton sends the press reeling. That’s showbiz. The 2024 Oscars ran smoothly, but there were still some surprise winners. Plus – Feeling Crabby! The Guardian’s deep dive into Margate’s crab museum is exactly what we needed today. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Critic’s Rob Hutton and comedian and actor Rich Fulcher Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I’m every (international) Woman. It’s International Women’s day, so naturally the papers get women competing against one another. Barklife! Crufts is back and the papers have exactly as many dog photos as you’d want. Plus – Stink-Eye For the Queer Guy. Rolling Stone’s exposé of shenanigans at Queer Eye explains everything and we’re “totally here for it”.    Miranda Sawyer is joined by host of Pod Save The UK Coco Khan and host of the Self Help podcast Scottee.    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A budget budget for the budget conscious. Jeremy Hunt’s gave his (hopefully last) budget and the press are divided. The secret sex lives of the nation. We read The Times’ article on British bedroom habits so you don’t have to. Plus – A slice of cake and a novelty spoon! The Oscars goodie bags are… really underwhelming.     Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and the New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge.    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Keeping Up With The Sunaks. The PM and wife sit down with Grazia magazine for an interview that redefines the word “uncomfortable”. What’s the beef? The Times gets judgey about Greggs. Plus – Glitz and Clamour. The Guardian investigates why celebrity red carpet interviews are going off the rails. Miranda Sawyer is joined by TLDR News Lead Writer Ben Blissett and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Mourning in America. The US Supreme Court rules Donald Trump can run in every state. Hall of fame? ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother has started and we’re still trying to work out who the contestants are… Plus – Can’t buy me love! The Times and The Telegraph have the scoop on the latest celeb packed mega-wedding, which was actually a “pre-wedding”. Jacob Jarvis is joined by columnist Rebecca Reid and comedian Marcus Brigstocke. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: What a Raye day! Croydon’s ten-year overnight sensation conquers the Brits, plus Kylie saves the world and CMAT brings the “craic”. It’s Self-Doubt Monday! The papers are going to improve your brain, your weight and your sex life… whether you like it or not.   Plus – Spice up your wife! The Daily Mail has the latest in Geri Halliwell’s relationship drama.    Miranda Sawyer is joined by editor of Popbitch Chris Lochery and the wickedly talented comedian Gráinne Maguire.      Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com      Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow      Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Why election? George Galloway wins in Rochdale. Ugh. I wanna live like Normal People. A deep dive into screen hunk Paul Mescal’s love life. Kiss the bride? A load of weird wedding traditions make it in the Daily Star. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Marcus Brigstocke and The Critic writer Rob Hutton. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: From Musk till yawn. The Guardian has all of the details from the farcical livestream between Trump and Musk.  What does the fox say? Foxhunters claim they are an ethnic minority and even The Star isn’t taking them seriously. Plus – A bit of scruff. Prince William’s beard has The Sun lusting over other hairy faced hunks.  Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by host of American Friction Jacob Jarvis and stand-up comic Jacob Hawley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Gone Girl. Key Royals are missing and The Daily Mail are terrified. News in name only. GB News is going out to the fringes and dragging the Conservative party with it. Plus – That’s rich. Survey says millennials will become “the richest ever” once their parents pop off. “In your dreams,” says angry Times writer.  Andrew Harrison is joined by LBC Broadcaster Natasha Devon and comedian Fergus Craig. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Andrew Harrison. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: How not to handle a scandal. The BBC apologises over the Huw Edwards scandal and The Sun is all over it. Telling Porkies? Americans think Peppa Pig is ruining their children and we’re confused. Plus – Anti-hero? Taylor Swift is accused of Satanic links by a member of… Boyzone? Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of The New Statesman and host of the I am Prime Minister Podcast comedian Matt Richardson. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Royal Rumble. Donald Trump takes on Prince Harry in his latest bluster bust up. Let’s talk about Tax, Baby. Jeremy Hunt has been warned against tax cuts even though Tories are begging him. Plus – Just for research… Times journalist goes to an orgy and doesn’t get into the groove. Jacob Jarvis is joined by CNN contributor Holly Thomas and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today:Whip apart! 30p Lee Anderson has been suspended in the Tories’ latest Islamophobia row. All of the Papers have opinions. Plus – Shagger in Chief. Biden reveals the secret to a happy marriage is good sex, The Daily Mail blushes. A Bridget too far. The Telegraph is not excited about the return of Bridget Jones. Miranda Sawyer is joined by sketch writer for The Critic Rob Hutton and making his Paper Cuts debut: author and screenwriter John Niven. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Lettuce to America. Five-minute Prime Minister Liz Truss meets even madder Republicans at C-PAC, the Glastonbury of American’s barmy Right. Canine Chaos. Joe Biden’s German Shepard is biting everything in sight and The Star is obsessed. Plus – Is your pub posh enough? The spectre of a new Wetherspoon's terrifies locals in an exclusive neighbourhood. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker Podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedy writer Fergus Craig. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Disorder, Disorder! The Commons speaker fights for his political life after Parliament descended into chaos.  Plus – Stuck in the middle! The middle-class are struggling to get by, according to The Times… on sixty grand a year. Get a room! London’s BT Tower is to become a super sleek hotel – and we’re fascinated. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of the New Statesman and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Prince’s Speech. The King in waiting weighs in on the Gaza crisis and the papers are shocked. You cabbaged mullard, you cheap nasty fluthered. The British have more words for being drunk than anyone else and we’re extremely patriotic about it. Plus – Trinket Man. Inside Elon John’s Christie’s auction.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker podcast host Andrew Harrison and comedian Ian Smith. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Mike Bollen. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dirty cash convertors. The i explains how Lord Cameron is angering banks with plans for using dirty Russian money. Let’s get physical. Boffins at The Times have proof that women workout better than men. Plus – Bad Blood. Liz Jones is back in the Daily Mail to tell the world that she’s just like Taylor Swift and loves writing about her grudges.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by Podmasters big mouth Jacob Jarvis and comedian Marcus Brigstocke. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production: Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Lost in the post Kemi Badenoch picks a fight with ex-chair of the Post Office after she’s accused of delaying payouts to victims. Box office bomb Oppenheimer cleans up at the Baftas. Plus – Whodunnit? The Star has figured out who shot JFK. Alex Von Tunzlemann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and stand-up comic Matt Green. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex Von Tunzlemann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production: Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: It’s the best of the extra bits! We’ve compiled some of the best subscriber only exclusive content. Knickers in a twist? Top 10 things YOU didn’t know about pants. I will always love you! The Guardian’s list of Dolly Parton songs is frankly… extremely heterosexual. Busting out the fancy crockery! Le Creuset is in trouble and we’re devastated. Kind Regards x. Why your email signature tells us everything about you. Teach it new tricks. The Guardian’s melted our hearts with a piece about old dogs but not everyone is on board.  Miranda Sawyer and Alex von Tunzelmann are joined by all your favourites, including: Marcus Brigstocke, Andrew Harrison, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jason Hazeley, Fin Taylor, Robert Hutton, Jonn Elledge, Scottee, Gráinne Maguire and more! Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer and Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Stranger than fiction. The Telegraph muses that Sue Gray is making Starmer’s decisions in Downing St. Out of the Box. The Observer thinks we should stop categorising women, Brat Summer disagrees. Plus – Game over man, game over! Video Game actors are going on strike over AI and sexy content, and The Times is shocked and appalled.     Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Rob Hutton and master impressionist Jan Ravens.    Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com    Follow Paper Cuts:  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow  • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow    Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com     Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production    Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Just a little recession… Britain slips into a “technical recession”, and we’re confused. Off the rails. TFL has renamed London Overground Lines and some of the press are in a predictable rage. Plus – Isle be off, then. Would you live on a private island? Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist John Crace of The Guardian and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Apocalypse Soon! David Cameron and MAGA “hot mess” Marjorie Taylor Greene in spat over Ukraine spending and the papers are braced for war. Salman like you. The Mail has the scoop on the bizarre bromance between the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia and… Johnny Depp? Plus – Very berry, very vulgar. Nigella’s anti-Nutella fatwa gives the Times an excuse for the definitive guide to which foods are vulgar. Andrew Harrison is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Fin Taylor – on tour now, people! Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: http://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Andrew Harrison. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin and Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Meg-site drama. Harry and Meghan’s website rebrand causes another Royal rift and enrages the Daily Mail. When Jenny met Benny! Jennifer Lopez spilled the beans on her relationship with Ben Affleck to Vanity Fair. Plus – What’s love got to do with it? The Guardian celebrates Valentine's Day by ruining the concept of romance.  Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist Zing Tsjeng of Vice News and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: https://back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Mike Bolen. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices