Christina's story is about the fierce love that guides us through impossible choices. When she received her baby Oliver's Trisomy 13 diagnosis, she didn't just face a medical decision. She faced a profound act of mothering that would challenge everything she thought she knew about love, protection, and what it means to care for your child.

Christina opens her heart about navigating a fatal fetal diagnosis as a first-time mom in Ontario, Canada. Her wisdom about values, language, and the misunderstood reality of TFMR will leave you feeling less alone and more grounded in your own truth.

If you've ever struggled with explaining your TFMR decision to others, or if you're searching for that centered knowing Christina has found so early in her grief, this episode is medicine for your heart. Thank you, Christina <3

MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:

www.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

www.reddit.com/r/nipt for during the decision period www.reddit.com/r/tfmrsupport For anonymous grief support after TFMR

OTHER CLOSED TFMR GROUPS:

www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup TFMR Support Circle

www.endingawantedpregnancy.com Ending a Wanted Pregnancy

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

…

#TFMR #Trisomy13 #Patausyndrome #babyloss #griefsupport

Have you ever shamed yourself for not being "further along" or "done" with the "stages of grief"? If so, this episode is for you.

Learn the TRUE history of the "5 Stages of Grief" and about a gentle, holistic, and humane alternative grief model - especially important for those of us who have lost a baby in such a tragic and heartbreaking way as abortion termination baby loss.

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people
💬 Honest conversation, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Next Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins June 11th 2025
👉 Learn more & apply: www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

....

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

After Ali Emerald lost her baby Paris to TFMR for maternal reasons, she went on to become a somatic embodiment coach to help herself and others work through trauma and grief. Ali’s pregnancy set in motion conditions that led her to need an organ transplant.

In this episode we talk about the intersection between disability rights and reproductive justice.

You can find her at www.instagram.com/thealiemerald

You can also find her as the resident trauma informed yoga instructor in the pregnancy loss app Loss to Love

FREE INVITATION THE 1st EVER -- SURVIVE TO THRIVE AFTER TFMR PREGNANCY LOSS ONLINE CONFERENCE:

You’re invited to the Survive and Thrive after TFMR virtual conference, a 3-day live event. Bringing together 15 speakers: grief experts, therapists, bereavement doulas, authors and holistic healers, all sharing their wisdom and love and care with us.

November 13th through the 15th.
http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/conference to sign up for free

Each day we will release videos and talks, and replays will be available through Sunday November 17th.

This online conference is for you of you’re looking to learn to cope with grief, honor your baby and your deep love for them and come away with skills to heal the trauma that comes with the heartbreaking loss of ending a beloved pregnancy
​
All while finally feeling seen in a compassionate community of grieving parents  just like you.

…

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Erica Rozmid, board certified behavioral psychologist and perinatal mental health certified, also known as TFMR Psychologist on her platforms, shares doable tips for when you are in mental health crisis after TFMR. The skills she generously relays in this episode are just a piece of what she's putting together in a mental health course for those who have had to terminate a wanted pregnancy, follow her and find out more here:

www.tfmrpsychologist.com
&
www.instagram.com/tfmrpsychologist
&
Co-host of ‌Grief Street podcast on all platforms

...
Today's episode is sponsored by:
"A way through After TFMR: your 3-part Survive to Thrive Plan", a live workshop on (RESCHEDULED) October 17th, 2024 at Noon Eastern time.

www.thetfmrdoula.com/yourplan to sign up for free. Replay will be available, so sign up even if you can't make it live.

This workshop is for you if you're feeling afraid you'll never feel "okay" again and don't know where to start/ don't know what it means for you to "grieve". This is the class for you if your grief is feeling super scary and overwhelming and you're looking for tools to help you grow around grief.
...

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Today we have Dr. E Goldblatt Hyatt on the podcast with us. They are an associate professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey. Dr. Goldblatt Hyatt is also a private practice clinician focusing on baby loss and TFMR. We'll be talking about their research on TFMR and queer family making.

...
Today's episode is sponsored by:
"A way through After TFMR: your 3-part Survive to Thrive Plan", a live workshop on October 10th, 2024 at Noon Eastern time.

www.thetfmrdoula.com/yourplan to sign up for free. Replay will be available, so sign up even if you can't make it live.

This workshop is for you if you're feeling afraid you'll never feel "okay" again and don't know where to start/ don't know what it means for you to "grieve". This is the class for you if your grief is feeling super scary and overwhelming and you're looking for tools to help you grow around grief.
...

Make sure to follow Dr. E at
instagram.com/dr_tfmr
and get updates on research at tfmr.org

Resources mentioned:
‌Return to Zero - Hope rtzhope.org
Postpartum Support International (PSI) postpartum.net
Pregnancy After Loss Support pregnancyafterlosssupport.org
PUSH to end preventable stillbirth pushpregnancy.org

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

“How will I know when I’m ready to share my TFMR story and where and how should I share it?” We go into when and how and where you could decide to tell or NOT tell your story of ending your precious pregnancy for health reasons in this episode.

SPONSORED BY THE TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM, ASCEND:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in September 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Riata shares her story of her baby Riana and the diagnosis of Tetralogy of Fallot and Atrioventricular septal defect (AVSD, a heart defect) and T21. Riata was 29 at the time of this first pregnancy. She had to travel for care, due to living in a very rural part of Wyoming.

Riata wishes to share her story to remind those opposed to abortion that abortion bans affect more than their propaganda "poster child" of abortion. It doesn't discriminate by demographics, religious affiliation, political party, or social status - because it is healthcare!

Riata has also shared her story in an advocacy manner in other publications:

https://www.nytimes.com/.../27/us/abortion-women-tfmr.html

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/roe-v-wade-reversal-brings-uncertainty-in-states-with-trigger-laws/

Resources mentioned:
1.“Releasing a Wanted Pregnancy” TFMR support & resources pamphlet. Free download here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/pamphlet

2.The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents. Apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Carmen Grover is mom to 11 babies, 4 earthside and 7 in her heart. These are their names in order: Amity, Will, Kaia, Baby G, Case, Maelie, Butterfly Baby, Jude, Aida, Zach, and Charlotte. She is the author of A Diary to My Babies and the journal companion to that grief memoir, A Diary to Our Babies. Two of her losses have been to TFMR and she's come on today to talk about her babies and these resources that she's created for the loss community.

Ebook versions available on all the typical platforms and Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Diary-My-Babies-Journeying-Pregnancy/dp/1772584231

Carmen has also graciously gifted our listeners with a free copy of A Diary to My Babies if you’d like just the PDF. You can claim your copy by emailing her here: carmen_dirven@hotmail.com

EPISODE SPONSORED BY OUR UPCOMING TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:

Starting in just a few days!! Apply now to save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in August 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

When TFMR is for YOUR health, also called Termination for Maternal Health or Termination for the Pregnant Person’s Health, it can bring an extra layer of survivor’s guilt. Marie-Laure shares how she lost her baby Juliette to early onset preeclampsia with severe features and IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction). Her symptoms became more pronounced around 22 to 24 weeks pregnant. She shares the roller coaster of her illness and diagnosis and end of the pregnancy with Juliette.

TFMR for maternal health can feel less represented in the ending a wanted pregnancy space - let’s talk about it!

You can also find out more about Marie-Laure and follow along with her story and get support at She Isn’t a Taboo instagram page https://www.instagram.com/she_isnt_a_taboo/

Resources mentioned:
1. The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents. Apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

2.The TFMR Doula instagram page www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula

Grief circle info:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in August 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Samantha is a TFMR mom who lost her second daughter to anencephaly at 17 weeks pregnant. She came on today to share how this great loss has shifted her relationships and beliefs.

Resources mentioned:
1. ASCEND TFMR Grief Circle - If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in August 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

2. The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents. Apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Ale Muñoz, co-author and editor of TFMR story anthology “Flowers in Our Womb” shares the inspiration behind this book and why sharing your own story of TFMR pregnancy loss can be so transformative.

Find Flowers in Our Womb on Amazon in Kindle (e-book), paperback, and hardcover https://a.co/d/5jAa5eF

Resources mentioned:
1.“Releasing a Wanted Pregnancy” TFMR support & resources pamphlet. Free download here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/pamphlet

2.The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents. Apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

Grief circle info:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in August 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Alissa shares how she got a “grey” diagnosis (a term for a condition that could be survivable through fatal, on a spectrum of outcomes) for her baby in her second trimester which led to a decision to end her wanted pregnancy. As a postpartum and high-risk NICU and PICU healthcare worker herself, she felt that her prior knowledge and vicarious lived experience helped her make an informed choice with her baby.

She talks about going back to work after pregnancy loss, and how she continues to advocate for her clients in all their medical decisions and in their grief in their own pregnancy, baby and infant losses.

Resources mentioned:
1.“Releasing a Wanted Pregnancy” TFMR support & resources pamphlet. Free download here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/pamphlet

2.The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents. Apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

Grief circle info:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in August 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Linda Rönn is a TFMR mom and author of “Behind Bulletproof Glass: My Story About Prenatal Testing and Abortion in the United States.”

Linda tells her story of the lack of care surrounding TFMR and how taboo the whole process was of going through her loss in the U.S. She also share her cross-cultural observations, comparing the Swedish approach to what happens in the U.S.A.

Connect with Linda on IG:https://www.instagram.com/_lindaronn/

Book available on Amazon and all major publishers:

Amazon.com

Bookshop.org

Goodreads.com

LOOKING FOR GROUP SUPPORT? JOIN OUR UPCOMING TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
Next rounds of our TFMR Grief Circle program starting soon. Apply now to save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles : https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

….

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Becky shares her story of IVF and embryo loss followed by TFMR for Down’s Syndrome. After all the fertility challenges, she was able to get pregnant again with what is currently a healthy pregnancy. Listen in to her journey through pregnancy after TFMR and how she lives with grief and hope at the same time.

Resources mentioned:
The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

Grief circle info:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in May 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Jenn Hepton, parenting coach and founder of Motherhood Redefined + Loss in Transition shares her story of losing twins to TFMR, her other fertility and miscarriage losses and stillbirth of baby Loey.

Even through all these tragic losses, Jenn shares light and healing through EFT, the "T.I.M.E. technique" and hypnobreathwork - practices she has used herself and with her clients.

SPONSORED BY:
If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in May 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

Other resources mentioned:
The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

Find Jenn Hepton at
www.instagram.com/motherhood_redefined
www.instagram.com/jenn_hepton
And her website www.jennhepton.com, https://www.lossintransition.ca/

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Liz tells her story of receiving an Edward's Syndrome (also known as T18) diagnosis and coming up against restrictive abortion laws and little understanding in the abortion space for her pregnancy loss. She also shares her experience with grieving during a time of massive loss with the Palestinian genocide.

Resources mentioned:
The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

The Brazilian movie "Incompatible with Life"

**If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in May 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Robin Imholte, a TFMR mom and mom to a rainbow baby born after loss, tells her story of her baby's giant omphalocele diagnosis, a condition where organs are developing (or very poorly developing) outside of the body cavity. She shares her struggle with TTC (trying to conceive) after the death of her baby Ellie.

Resources mentioned:
The TFMR Support Circle, our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

Mira Fertility Tracker (Robin's recommendation)
https://www.miracare.com

**Also, if you are a bereaved TFMR parent, I invite you to check out our upcoming RETREAT on April 4 through 7th, 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/tfmr-retreat

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Sex and intimacy after a traumatic baby loss/pregnancy loss can be HARD, and can create opportunities for healing. Kate Carson, baby loss coach, shares FIVE impediments to intimacy after TFMR pregnancy loss and some beautiful tools and practices to gently come back into your body and sensuality.

Resources mentioned:
1st Program opportunity!
Join Kate and Sabrina at our IN-PERSON TFMR RETREAT, April 4th to 7th in Tepoztlan, Morelos, Mexico, a beautiful healing mountain town outside Mexico City. More info here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-retreat

2nd Program opportunity!
Learn more and apply to join our next TFMR grief circle program Ascend here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

FREE support
Apply to join our free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

OTHER LINKS MENTIONED:
To find out more about Kate Carson and her Baby Loss Coaching, go to nightbloomcoaching.com

Kate also helps to admin another TFMR support group, Ending a Wanted Pregnancy. To find out more and apply to join this closed Facebook group: endingawantedpregnancy.com

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Are you isolating in the grief of TFMR pregnancy loss? Listen to hear about 3 reasons WHY you may be isolating and how to care for yourself in this isolating experience.

Resources mentioned:
Learn more and apply to join the upcoming TFMR grief circle program Ascend here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

My free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Grief can be especially hard around the holidays and through the new year with expectations to be "joyful" and "cheerful." In this episode I answer questions from other TFMR parents in the community about getting through the holidays. You'll hear 4 main tips PLUS an explanation of "Grieving in 4D."

This episode was originally recorded as a live video in the TFMR Support Circle Facebook group. Apply to join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup to listen to episodes early.

Other links mentioned:
Get your free copy of the guide "Self-care in the Grief of TFMR" here: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-self-care

Special holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-support

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

After losing one baby early into a twin pregnancy, Lia then received a poor prenatal diagnosis of T21 (Down Syndrome) with her surviving twin. She recounts how she made memories and connections even in the hardest time between diagnosis and decision and ending her wanted pregnancy.

And to join our upcoming TFMR support group program, Ascend apply here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

Sunday group starting Nov. 5th 2023 and Wednesday group starting Nov. 8th 2023

On letting others be wrong about you. Important in the grief of a termination pregnancy loss. Listen in to hear how this one practice has helped my grief as a TFMR mom. And you are invited to join us in our upcoming TFMR Grief Circle program, Ascend. Learn more and apply here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

And come and join us in the free Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle, to get access to the community and these live videos before they are released on the podcast: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

Resources mentioned:

My free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: Resources for TFMR

*****

TFMR Support Sanctuary

*****

And if you would like to share *your* TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Link: Pamgaea

License: Creative Commons — Attribution 4.0 International — CC BY 4.0

If you feel like you are drowning in guilt, self-blame, and an endless loop of “what ifs" after making the heartbreaking decision to end a wanted pregnancy, this episode is for you.

Sabrina Fletcher, the TFMR -Termination For Medical Reasons- pregnancy loss doula, explores why these feelings show up and how they’re rooted in deep love, your desire to be a good parent, and your hunger for true community support.

If you're looking for support in the guilt, doubt and self-blame after TFMR (abortion of a wanted pregnancy after a poor prenatal diagnosis), this episode brings deep validation and real tools for healing.

You are also INVITED to join our TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people
💬 Honest conversation, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Next round begins June 2025

👉 Learn more & apply: www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

This episode was recorded inside the closed, screened free Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. To get access to early releases of podcast episodes and the support community, apply here:
www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Listen here

This episode is for people in the awful limboland between a poor prenatal diagnosis and their termination. You may be wondering, "Which termination procedure should I choose?"

Guest expert, author and baby loss family advisor trained, Sherokee Ilse, gives insight into how to decide between D&E (surgical) and L&D (labor/medical) termination AND how to make the most out of any termination procedure you are offered or choose.

Resources mentioned:

• My free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: Resources for TFMR

• Heaven's Gain Miscarriage Kit (sizes up to 20 weeks gestation):

        Miscarriage Kit

****Also, if you are a bereaved TFMR parent, I invite you to check out my upcoming grief support group (Ascend: A TFMR Grief Circle) to see if this could be the group for you: https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

*****

And if you would like to share *your* TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Link:

Pamgaea

License:

Creative Commons — Attribution 4.0 International — CC BY 4.0

Kate, a TFMR mom and mom to two living kids, tells her story of her baby's holoprosencephaly diagnosis, a brain abnormality. She shares her mental health story around the death of her baby and then a subsequent pregnancy (sub-pregnancy) after loss, and the trauma of a prolonged hospitalization/NICU stay in said sub-pregnancy.

Resources mentioned:
My free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here:

Resources for TFMR

Ending a Wanted Pregnancy:
www.endingawantedpregnancy.com

****Also, if you are a bereaved TFMR parent, I invite you to check out my upcoming grief support group (Ascend: A TFMR Grief Circle) to see if this could be the group for you: https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link:

Pamgaea

License:

Creative Commons — Attribution 4.0 International — CC BY 4.0

Before I became a Pregnancy Loss Doula, I went through TFMR myself. My baby had ies. This is my story of my 2nd pregnancy that ended in my baby dying from a termination for medical reasons due to hydrops, cystic hygroma and other anomalies. I also share some ways I began to heal the trauma afterwards.

Resources mentioned:

• My free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: Resources for TFMR 

• Ending a Wanted Pregnancy: www.endingawantedpregnancy.com

• The book Heal Your Birth Story, by Maureen Campion

****Also, if you are a bereaved TFMR parent, I invite you to check out my upcoming grief support group (Ascend: A TFMR Grief Circle) to see if this could be the group for you: https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

*****

And if you would like to share *your* TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Link:

Pamgaea

License:

Creative Commons — Attribution 4.0 International — CC BY 4.0

On forgiveness and forgiving yourself after TFMR baby loss with Amy Watson. Amy is a certified Life Coach and also a mom who has walked through stillbirth, miscarriage and pregnancy after loss. You may know her from her podcast, Smooth Stones, Find Yourself After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Baby Loss.

Connect with Amy at:

Learn more at https://smoothstonescoaching.com

https://smoothstonescoaching.com/getsupport

instagram.com/smoothstonescoaching

LOOKING FOR TFMR SPECIFIC SUPPORT?:

Our TFMR Grief Circle program is now enrolling. Save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles: https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Lacey Castilleja Fisher, Licensed Professional Counselor, Play Therapist Perinatal Mental Health-Certification, talks about how sand tray therapy can help you through the trauma of TFMR baby loss. Lacey runs Open Heart Counseling of Austin, TX and we also talk about the state of perinatal mental health support in Texas.

Connect with Lacey at:
www.openheartcounselingatx.com
FB and IG: @‌openheartcounselingofaustin

Quote about creativity and letting it live outside your body from writer Iya Ehime Ora https://ehimeora.com/

ATTENTION PERINATAL MENTAL HEATLH PROVIDERS! Lacey has a new offering so you can start to learn how to use sand tray therapy with your clients too, check it out here: http://www.openheartcounselingatx.com/store/p2/sandtray-trauma-loss-PHMC.html

GROUP GRIEF SUPPORT: You are invited to Ascend, a TFMR Grief Circle program. This online group support is for you if you’re looking to learn to cope with grief, honor your baby and your deep love for them and come away with skills to heal the trauma that comes with the heartbreaking loss of ending a beloved pregnancy
​
All while finally feeling seen in a compassionate community of grieving parents just like you. http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/acend-apply to apply to join.

…

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

…

Communication ideas for romantic, heterosexual couples after/through baby loss. Laura Amador, a Laura Doyle certified relationship coach shares 3 insightful ways to take care of your grief and bring you closer to your partner.

You can find the guide "5 Steps to Reignite Connection in Your Marriage" that Laura Amador mentions in the episode here:
https://www.coachlauraamador.com/5steps/?ref=SABRINAFLETCHER (My affiliate link)

Another highly recommended resources:
The Empowered Wife, book by Laura Doylehttps://www.amazon.com/Empowered-Wife-Updated-Expanded-Surprising/dp/1637742266

....

TAMING TFMR TRIGGERS
www.thetfmrdoula.com/triggers

Having the first drink of beer or coffee after you lose your baby...

Trying to connect again with your partner through sggsy time...

Going on the pre-planned "baby moon", but without your bump...

Your clothes fitting differently, finding the baby clothes you bought with so much hope, even YOUR PARTNER not needing to change their clothes!!...

All of these things and more can be a trigger after TFMR (termination for medical reasons) pregnancy loss.

I went through it too after I lost my baby - there was even this one water glass that I always used to super hydrate in pregnancy. After my baby was gone that glass made me feel ill just looking at it. I wanted to smash it on the floor, run away from it and simultaneously enshrine it as a tiny memory with her - but it was wrapped in in SO MUCH PAIN.

The triggers come from the pain, this ache, this desire and longing for our baby, but pop up at the LEAST convenient time.

When you just want to drink a coffee and put on some pants in PEACE!!!

I found that talking about the triggers in therapy, writing about them, thinking about how I could fix them logically, did not help.

There's a direct line to the triggers, and it's in a place you can tap into -in the moment - to come back to your center too: the body.

After I learned how to do this, I was able to drink coffee again, see pregnant bellies, even go to the gynecologist, without panic attacks and falling down on the ground in a bundle of tears.

I'm going to show you how I do this in Taming TFMR Triggers, a workshop I am putting together for you and holding LIVE on Monday, February 10th.

Here's the link again to sign up
www.thetfmrdoula.com/triggers ($11 USD) live or catch the replay after Feb. 10th
‌

….

And if you would like to shareyour TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

And for more support follow atwww.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link:https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License:http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

"I was searching for a community where I could talk to people without feeling judged. A safe space where I didn't have to explain myself." -Amanda, TFMR for rare genetic condition mom shares her story of her time in our Ascend TFMR Grief Circle program. Listen in to hear her TFMR story and how she moved from feeling blame and silenced to fully held and supported through talking part in our online small group support space.

SPONSORED BY THE TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM, ASCEND:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent like Amanda looking for group grief support to heal the silence and stigma and loneliness of this often misunderstood baby loss, our upcoming grief circles start in December 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply <--- to apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

…

In this episode you’ll hear about 3 big hurtful myths/misconceptions about TFMR & how we can take healing into our own hands in the face of so much misunderstanding about our heartbreaking choices.

00:00-Intro

01:56-Myth 1, looking for a perfect pregnancy

04:59-Myth 2, taking the easy way out

14:24-Myth 3, it's just an abortion or it's not really an abortion

23:53-Invitation to the conference

You are also INVITED:

FREE INVITATION THE 1st EVER -- SURVIVE TO THRIVE AFTER TFMR PREGNANCY LOSS ONLINE CONFERENCE

You’re invited to the Survive and Thrive after TFMR virtual conference, a 3-day live event. Bringing together 15+ speakers: grief experts, therapists, bereavement doulas, authors and holistic healers, all sharing their wisdom and love on healing and coping with the grief of losing a wanted baby to TFMR.

November 13th through the 15th.
http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/conference to sign up for free

Each day we will release videos and talks, and replays will be available through Sunday November 17th.

This online conference is for you if you’re looking to learn to cope with grief, honor your baby and your deep love for them and come away with skills to heal the trauma that comes with the heartbreaking loss of ending a beloved pregnancy
​
All while finally feeling seen in a compassionate community of grieving parents  just like you.

And another offering for you:

JOIN OUR UPCOMING TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM

Next rounds of our TFMR Grief Circle program starting in December. Apply now to save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in December 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Tenae Bascherini, pelvic floor and core specialist, shares about the layers of emotional and physical recovery after TFMR. She went through termination for medical reasons herself with her son Kaleo, in the second trimester of pregnancy. We talk about some surprising and seemingly “unrelated to the pelvis” areas of the body where a pelvic floor imbalance may be showing up for you.

You can find Tenae at
instagram.com/tenaebascherini

And her Embrace Journey pelvic floor recovery program at: www.trainingwithtenae.com

FREE INVITATION THE 1st EVER -- SURVIVE TO THRIVE AFTER TFMR PREGNANCY LOSS ONLINE CONFERENCE:

You’re invited to the Survive and Thrive after TFMR virtual conference, a 3-day live event. Bringing together 15 speakers: grief experts, therapists, bereavement doulas, authors and holistic healers, all sharing their wisdom and love and care with us.

November 13th through the 15th.
http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/conference to sign up for free

Each day we will release videos and talks, and replays will be available through Sunday November 17th.

This online conference is for you of you’re looking to learn to cope with grief, honor your baby and your deep love for them and come away with skills to heal the trauma that comes with the heartbreaking loss of ending a beloved pregnancy
​
All while finally feeling seen in a compassionate community of grieving parents  just like you.

….

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

And for more support follow at www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Rebecca Little and Colleen Long join us to discuss their powerful book "I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America." Rebecca and Colleen are two lifelong friends and both journalists who've experienced devastating pregnancy losses. This book is an investigation into why reproductive care in America is so broken; their findings are both heartbreaking and essential.

Rebecca experienced six pregnancies: 2 uneventful pregnancies of her oldest living kids followed by chemical pregnancy, missed miscarriage at 8 weeks, stillbirth in 2014 and TFMR of twins at 23 weeks for a fatal heart condition, followed by a life-threatening uterine rupture that nearly killed her. Colleen lost her first baby to stillbirth in 2012 and has two living kids. Together, they've created the book they wish they'd had: one that doesn't just offer comfort, but also asks the hard questions:

Why are we so bad at grief?

Why is our language so limited?

Why aren't we even researching women's reproductive health?

This conversation goes deep into the impossible navigation of TFMR grief when neither "pro-choice" nor "pro-life" language fits your experience. We explore how “the myth of control over pregnancy” leaves families isolated when things go wrong, and why having language that fits your loss can be life-changing.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

For more on their book, find Rebecca and Colleen here: https://www.alittlelong.com/

And on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/imsorryformylossbook/

Get the book here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-m-sorry-for-my-loss-undoing-our-cultural-ignorance-around-pregnancies-that-end-without-a-baby-rebecca-little/20974919 or here: https://www.amazon.com/Im-Sorry-Loss-Examination-Reproductive/dp/1728292786

MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:

www.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/