Lead strategically with calm confidence with Estelle Read, Bestselling Author, Coach, Speaker, and guests. Optimising Leader Brilliance is the self-improvement toolkit for leaders ready to break performance ceilings and achieve next level results. Get science-backed strategies and mindset shifts to tackle imposter syndrome, workaholism, anxiety, and self-sabotage. We provide stress relief and burnout solutions to help you reduce your workload and reclaim your time. We also share tools to clarify your strategic direction and deliver the brilliant results you're capable of. Visit: EstelleRead.com
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How to Stop Being the "Strong One": The Hidden Danger of Hyper-Independence
Season 5 · Episode 58
Tuesday, April 7, 2026 • Duration 30:03
Are you the "rock" that everyone else relies onwhile you're secretly struggling? In this episode, we explore the "Be Strong" pattern and why hyper-independence isoften a survival response to childhood patterns that demand emotional stoicism. Learn why suppressed emotions manifest as physical pain - like frozen shoulders and chronic fatigue - and how to reclaim your resilience by choosingvulnerability over the trap of "toughness."
In this final part of our miniseries on Adrienne Lee’s “Drowning Person” model, I share the deeply personal story of my father’s battle with vulnerability and the moment a mentor’s simple question broke through my own stoic mask. We’ll discuss the "Fixer" mentality at work, the mental health crisis caused by emotional bottlenecks, and practical tools like EFT (Tapping) and journaling to help you finally ask for help without guilt.
What You Will Learn:
💡 The Cost of Hyper-Independence: Why the most reliable people are often the ones "drowning" in silence.
💡 The Somatic Connection: How to listen to your body’s "dashboard warning lights"- from frozen shoulders to digestive issues.
💡 Breaking the Fixer Cycle: How to move from fierce self-reliance to a more connected, sustainable leadership style.
Whether you are a firstborn child, a parentified professional, or a leader feeling the weight of the world, this episode offers a roadmap to true emotional strength.
Here’s to your leadership development and personal growth!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Executive Coach & Speaker
Timestamps:
00:00) Introduction: The Be Strong Pattern - Final Episode in the Miniseries (01:42) The Drowning Man Metaphor
(02:38) The Person Everyone Turns To: Stoicism vs. Empathy (03:08) The Moment I Burst Into Tears: Why Don't You Ask for Help? (04:22) Core Fear: Vulnerability Makes You Weak or Burdensome (04:50) The Stigma of Stoicism: Why we hide our feelings (05:20) A Tortured Soul Who Wouldn't Open Up (07:06) The Phone Call: My Dad's Final Vulnerability (08:00) Where Be Strong Comes From: Don't Be Vulnerable, Power Through (08:28) Why Men Struggle More: Suicide Rates and the Secret Club (09:38) Childhood Examples: Pull Yourself Together
(10:28) The Parentified Child: No Room for Your Own Feelings (10:52) Adult Problems at Work: Difficulty Asking for Help (11:20) Emotional Bottlenecks: Quietly Seething Until You Leave (11:51) Fierce Independence: Why high-achievers refuse help
(12:31) Birth Order and Independence: Both Firstborns (13:17) Mental Health Problems: Burnout and Somatic Symptoms (13:43) Frozen Shoulders: Bearing the Responsibility (14:16) Somatic Symptoms: How your body signals suppressed emotions (14:36) The Dashboard Warning Light Metaphor: Listen to Your Body (15:39) The Parentified Child Fixing Her Parents' Divorce (16:14) Becoming the Fixer at Work: Filling Responsibility Gaps (17:02) Almost Off With Burnout: The Exhaustion Breaking Point (20:03) Strategies, Tools And Resources To Overcome the Be Strong Pattern
(27:48) EFT Videos on My Channel
⭐Follow, Access Resources or Book a Free Discovery Call:
This podcast is for informational purposes only and shouldnot be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
Leadership Beyond Perfectionism: Why Your Best is More Than Enough
Season 5 · Episode 57
Tuesday, March 31, 2026 • Duration 28:14
Are you stuck in analysis paralysis? In this episode, we explore how perfectionism fuels Imposter Syndrome and reveal my proprietary LAR Method to break the cycle once and for all.
Learn why the pursuit of perfection is holding your career back and how to use the "10% Strategy" to reclaim your time, energy, and authenticity.
As part of our miniseries on Transactional Analysis drivers, I’m diving into the childhood origins of the "Be Perfect" pattern.
From the "Owl Story" to the pressure of high-stakes leadership, we discuss why the fear of being "exposed" as imperfect is your biggest barrier to growth—and how even Steve Bartlett uses imperfection as a superpower.
What You Will Learn:
Whether you're a leader avoiding a promotion or an entrepreneur hiding behind a mask of perfection, this episode will help you choose progress over perfectionism.
Here’s to your leadership development and personal growth!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Executive Coach & Speaker
Timestamps:
(00:00) Introduction: Quit Perfectionism By Doing This
(02:08) What is Perfectionism and Why It Matters
(03:37) The Perfectionism Trap: Red Crosses and Self-Doubt
(05:05) The Core Fear: Being Exposed as Imperfect
Part 2: How To Stop Self-Sabotage & Achieve Your Goals
Season 5 · Episode 48
Wednesday, January 14, 2026 • Duration 46:59
In this episode, I unpack the real reasons we self-sabotageand introduce the science-backed CLEAR framework - designed to counteract it and help you break through barriers to your biggest goals in 2026. Whether you’re setting personal milestones or leading a team, you’ll find actionableinsights to help you and your team shine brighter.
This recording was longer than usual 😂, because there’s lots of great content to share, so it’s delivered in two shorter episodes.
Part 1️⃣ (last week): The Top 5 Goal Self-Sabotage Mistakes that even the most driven people make - and how to avoid them.
Part 2️⃣ (this week): The CLEAR Framework for setting and achieving goals to elevate your work and life.
What you’ll learn in Part 2️⃣:
💡The 5-step CLEAR framework that top performers use to overcome self-sabotage and accelerate success.
💡Practical, science-based strategies to boost energy, align actions, and stay motivated all year.
💡How to set meaningful goals, build durable habits, and rise to the next level - at work and in life.
Here’s to your leadership development and personal growth in 2026!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach & Speaker
Timestamps:
(00:00) Welcome to the Optimising Your Brilliance Podcast
(01:04) Support the show: Like, subscribe, and share
(01:30) Recap of part 1 of this episode and what’s ahead
(02:17) Why we self-sabotage and how to break the cycle
Part 1: How To Stop Self-Sabotage & Achieve Your Goals
Season 5 · Episode 47
Wednesday, January 7, 2026 • Duration 49:25
How’re those New Year’s resolutions going? Most peoplegive up their New Year's resolutions by thesecond Friday inJanuary, a day dubbed "Quitter's Day," with studies showing over 80% abandoning goals by mid-January due to unrealistic expectations and waning motivation.
If you want to understand why we self-sabotage and masterthe steps to stop it, these two episodes are for you. I’m sharing the science and stories behind why we self-sabotage - and, more importantly, how you can break free and achieve your boldest goals in 2026. Whether you’re aiming for personal growth, business breakthroughs, or simply want to feel more fulfilled, this episode is packed with actionable insights and real-life examples to inspire your next steps.
This recording was longer than usual 😂, because there's lots of great content to share, so it’s delivered in two shorter episodes.
Part 1️⃣: The Top 5 Goal Self-Sabotage Mistakesthat keep even the most driven people stuck and how to avoid them, (today’s episode).
Part 2️⃣: My CLEAR Framework, forsetting and achieving goals to take your work-life to the next level, (next week’s episode).
What You Will Learn in Part 1️⃣:
💡The science behind self-sabotage mistakes that could be keeping your goals out of reach. Overcome procrastination, perfectionism, and the hidden ceilings that limityour success and performance.
💡 The four goal categories to consider when creating your plan for 2026.
💡Get inspired by real-life stories and actionable tips that will empower you to take control, set meaningful goals, and accelerate your progress.
Breaking Barriers: How Top Performers Overcome Fear and Thrive
Season 4 · Episode 46
Wednesday, December 31, 2025 • Duration 22:14
In this episode, I reflect on the highlights of Season 4,sharing the most inspiring moments and lessons from my brave guests. We explore the mindsets, habits, and stories that can help you lead an even better work-life. After recording each episode, there was always a takeaway that made me reflect or take action - like doing my first wild water swim with my guest Philippa Hardy , a triathlon coach and HR veteran.
What You Will Learn:
💡 Discover the surprising common threads among high achievers - from overcoming fear to embracing vulnerability and setting bold goals.
💡 Hear raw, honest stories that will inspire you to reframe setbacks, build resilience, and pursue your ambitions with renewed energy.
💡 Get practical takeaways you can use to optimise your performance, productivity, success and wellbeing.
Here’s to your leadership development and personal growth!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach & Speaker
Timestamps:
(00:00) Welcome to the Optimising Your Brilliance Podcast
(01:04) Season 4 Highlights: The Experiment That Became aMovement
(02:05) The Power of Shared Experience: You’re Not Alone
Why Your Christmas Table Feels Like the Boardroom: How to Handle a Difficult Person
Season 4 · Episode 45
Wednesday, December 24, 2025 • Duration 31:06
I dive into the fascinating parallels between familydynamics at the Christmas table and the behaviours we see in meetings and the boardroom. Drawing from real-life coaching experiences and powerful psychological models, I’ll help you recognise old patterns, understand your triggers, and give you practical tools to handle difficult people both at homeand at work.
What You Will Learn:
💡 Discover the hidden connections between your childhood roles and your professional life - insights that will change how you see yourself and others.
💡 Learn practical, science-backed strategies to handle challenging family or workplace dynamics, so you can stay calm, confident, and in control.
💡 Unlock actionable coaching models that empower you to break free from old patterns and create more positive, productive relationships
Wishing you a very merry Christmas.
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach &Speaker
Timestamps:
00:00) Welcome to the Optimising Your Brilliance Podcast
(01:00) Meet your host and coach, Estelle Read
(01:30) Why family and boardroom dynamics are so similar
(03:00) Classic roles at the Christmas table - and what they mean
(05:00) How childhood experiences shape adult behaviour
(08:00) Real-life coachingstories: triggers and transformation
(12:00) Why is this person behaving this way? Discover what lies beneath the surface.
The Power of Being Different: Andrew Whitehead on Authentic Success in Law & Life
Season 4 · Episode 44
Wednesday, December 17, 2025 • Duration 40:15
The first time I saw Andrew Whitehead, he was accompanying Sarah Walker-Smith, on the piano. It was lockdown and Sarah was singing from her office cabin she affectionately called the ‘shed’. As Senior Partner and CEO of Shakespeare Martineau, they were lifting the spirits oftheir colleagues.
What struck me was the bravery, beauty and authenticity of their performance. Doing something totally different, putting themselves out there, and demonstrating poise, calm and leadership during stressful times. So, it was great to chat with Andrew where we got under the surface of leveragingwhat makes you different to advance your leadership career.
What You Will Learn:
💡 Discover the Power of Serendipity - How chance encounters shaped Andrew’s career and how you can spotand seize similar opportunities.
💡 Overcome Fear and Embrace Challenge - Strategies for stepping outside your comfort zone, fromleadership to public speaking.
💡 The Value of Being Different - Why standing out and authenticity can be your greatest asset in anyfield.
💡 Resilience Through Adversity - Lessons from personal and professional challenges, including ahealth scare, on focusing what matters.
💡 Actionable Growth Advice - Practical tips for building strong teams, finding renewed purpose, andthriving on your journey.
Here’s to your shining!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach &Speaker
Timestamps:
(00:00) Introduction to the Optimising Your BrilliancePodcast (01:04) Meet Andrew Whitehead: Career Highlights & Background (03:11) The Role of Serendipity in Career Development(06:24) Overcoming Fear and Embracing Challenges(09:40) The Value of Being Different in Law and Life(13:00) Building Teams and Avoiding Self-Sabotage(16:40) Resilience Through Health Challenges(20:00) Advice for Facing Adversity and Finding Purpose(23:45) Pearls of Wisdom & Final Thoughts(24:35) Outro and How to Connect
How to Create a Morning Routine for a Productive Day with Deborah Lyon
Season 4 · Episode 43
Wednesday, December 10, 2025 • Duration 01:04:31
You know those people who seem to do it all? My next guest does just that: five children, a partner, four dogs, and three books, plus she’s built a beautiful home on Lake Windermere. She now runs The Heaning Estate, a beautiful collection of dwellings she renovated, which you can stay in.
How does she make it all possible?
Deborah shares the secrets to her success: bravery, dream-driven ambition, and the discipline to take consistent steps – even when fear or doubt shows up.
Deborah’s daily routine and wellbeing priority prove you can do it all. In this episode, she pulls back the curtain on life as an author and businesswoman.
What You Will Learn:
💡 Deborah’s daily habits that boost productivity while safeguarding wellbeing.
💡 Real-life lessons from building a business, writing books, and balancing family life.
💡 Learn how embracing fear and discipline, can unlock newlevels of creativity and business success.
Here’s to your shining!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach & Speaker
Timestamps:
(00:00) Meet Deborah Lyon: Introduction and background
(01:27) The Heaning Estate and the art of doing it all
How to Discover True Identity and Belonging with Neil Jinks
Season 4 · Episode 42
Wednesday, December 3, 2025 • Duration 01:29:06
Content warning: This episode discusses suicide &mental health challenges.
Leadership coaching often raises one tough question: How doI handle this difficult conversation & what do I say because I fear rejection?
Imagine the courage it takes to tell your family you’re gay.I’m joined once again by the inspiring Neil Jinks. Following the overwhelmingly positive response to his last podcast, we connected again to talk more deeply.
Neil opens up about the challenges he’s faced coming out asa gay man, including moments when suicide felt like the only way out. He shares his pivotal identity moments & how he learned to belong & become the best version of himself. He offers hopeful, practical tips for leading a happy & successful work-life.
What You Will Learn:
💡 Discover how childhood experiences & family expectations can shape our adult lives and how to breakfree from limiting beliefs.
💡 Hear a powerful, honest account of embracing true identity, overcoming isolation, & building asupportive community. Neil’s brave and candid conversation with his father will touch your heart.
💡 Actionable strategies for resilience, self-acceptance, & redefining what success means to you.
If you’re affected by these subjects, please don’t sufferalone. Reach out to a mental health professional or confidential helplines. UK: Samaritans 116 123; US: 988. If you’re in another region, please contact your local crisis line.
Here’s to your health & wellbeing ❤️.
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach &Speaker
Leadership Playbook: Innovation, Team Dynamics & Overcoming Fear with Daniel Jarvis
Season 4 · Episode 41
Wednesday, November 26, 2025 • Duration 01:20:41
As a leader or business owner, do you ever find yourself running out of ideas for driving business growth? And are your bored of, or in need of, some non-AI, business development inspiration?
Daniel Jarvis, a Product Group Manager at Plastribution, anorganisation renowned for their innovation, have ripped up the rule book on how to develop deeper client relationships, which ordinarily take months to nurture.
What Daniel and his fellow leaders created, sounded like so much fun! Not only that, but they also saved time and money.
Dan’s insights underscore the importance of human connection but also how agile his business is when it comes to decision making. He shares practical tips on how to do this.
We did discuss AI too – it’s hard to avoid it, but it’s alwaysinteresting to hear how other businesses are adapting and using it.
Finally, Daniel was candid about how he overcame a fear,which created a mental shift and transformed his life in an instant.
What You Will Learn:
💡 Practical innovative strategies which drive business performance
💡 The importance of not letting a fear fester and how to overcome it, so that you lead a better life
💡An alternative approach to self-care for leaders, which returns you to a state of mind akin to child-like wonder
Here’s to your shining!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach & Speaker
Apple Podcasts
🇨🇦 Canada - management
20/08/2026
#84
🇬🇧 Great Britain - management
23/07/2026
#85
🇬🇧 Great Britain - management
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#75
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#82
(06:31) Origins of Perfectionism: Critical Parents and Childhood Trauma
(10:20) The Owl Story: How Shame Creates Perfectionism
(12:49) When Perfection Crumbles: The Cost of Mistakes
(14:28) The Perfectionism Mindset
(17:38) The Mental Health Impact: Anxiety and Imposter Syndrome
(18:18) How to use the LAR Method to stop Perfectionism
This podcast is for informational purposes only and shouldnot be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
(03:44) Who this episode is for: leaders, professionals, and goal-setters
(04:04) The science behind self-sabotage and transformation
(05:12) Introducing the CLEAR framework
(10:47) Step 1: Get clear on your vision and goals
(11:06) Step 2: Let go of identity threats and limiting beliefs
(12:15) Step 3: Energise: plugging energy leaks and boosting motivation
(13:46) Step 4: Take aligned action and build success habits
(15:57) Step 5: Rise: review, refine, and recognise your progress
(45:58) Final thoughts, how to connect, and closing
⭐Help Us Keep Growing & Going:
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you listen or watch, leave a review or share it with someone who might benefit. Thank you ❤️.
⭐Disclaimer:This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
Here’s to your leadership development and personal growth in 2026!
Estelle Read
Bestselling Author, Coach & Speaker
Timestamps:
(00:00) Welcome to the Optimising Your Brilliance Podcast
(01:04) Introduction: Meet Estelle Read and the mission of the show
(01:30) Why we self-sabotage: Setting the stage for 2026 goals
(06:24) The science behind self-sabotage and performance ceilings
(07:49) Real-life examples: Overcoming setbacks and achieving breakthroughs
(13:20) The four goal categories
(18:59) Finding the real reason (and motivation) for your goals in 2026
(23:51) Estelle’s personal journey: Lessons from the Lake District
(31:51) The 5 self-sabotage mistakes revealed
(47:06) How we delay our dreams
(48:33) Invitation to connect and next steps
(49:33) What’s coming in Part 2: The CLEAR Framework for transformation
(50:00) Outro and how to stay connected
⭐Help Us Keep Growing & Going:
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you listen or watch, leave a review or share it with someone who might benefit. Thank you ❤️.
This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
(11:40) Discipline, Obsession, and Purpose
(13:17) Honest Conversations: Moments That Change Everything
(15:21) Resilience and Real Life Beyond Instagram Perfection
(18:18) Breaking Out of Comfort Zones: Personal Stories
(22:06) Tools and Ideas to Help You Lead Your Best Life
(24:58) Thank You to the Guests and Listeners
⭐Help Us Keep Growing & Going:
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you listen or watch, leave a review or share it with someone who might benefit. Thank you ❤️.
⭐Disclaimer:This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
(15:00) How we get caught up in ‘drama’ and how to get out of it
(18:00) Why people try to control you and other throws a ‘tantrum’
(21:00) Giving feedback that works - at home and at work
(24:00) Practical tips for a stress-free Christmas (and career)
(27:00) Final thoughts and how to connect with Estelle
⭐Help Us Keep Growing & Going:
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe whereveryou listen or watch, leave a review or share it with someone who might benefit. Thank you ❤️.
This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
(06:46) How Estelle and Deborah met: A story of connection
(14:56) Daily routines, discipline, and the 20/20/20 rule
(24:21) Overcoming fear, imposter syndrome, and building belief
(35:17) Writing, business, and the power of passion and purpose
(47:19) Advice for aspiring writers and entrepreneurs(
62:00) Reflections, regrets, and advice to your 18-year-old self
(65:00) Closing thoughts and where to connect with Deborah
⭐Help Us Keep Growing & Going:
If you enjoyed this episode, pleasesubscribe wherever you listen or watch, leave a review or share it with someone who might benefit. Thank you ❤️.
This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
Timestamps:
(00:00) Welcome & Introduction by Estelle Read
(01:04) Neil Jinks Returns: Why This Conversation Matters
This podcast is for informational purposes only & shouldnot be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
(00:00) Welcome & Podcast Introduction (01:04) Meet Dan Jarvis: Early Life and Influences (02:16) Music, Bands, and Team Dynamics (10:00) Conflict, Feedback, and Decision-Making (20:00) Retirement, Purpose, and Planning Ahead (30:00) Overcoming Fear of Flying (38:00) Driving Business Growth, Innovation & Having Fun (45:00) AI in Business and Everyday Life (52:00) Balancing Work, Self-Care, and Childlike Wonder (58:00) Advice to Your Younger Self (79:39) Outro and Resources
For free resources, book a discovery call or join The Resilient Leader Programme: SHINE, or The Optimised Leader Programme: NEXT LEVEL, visit https://estelleread.com/
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you listen or watch, leave a review or share it with someone who might benefit. Thank you ❤️.
⭐Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for specific advice.
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12/05/2026
#95
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