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Explore every episode of the podcast On Attachment

Dive into the complete episode list for On Attachment. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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1–50 of 258

TitlePub. DateDuration
#213: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions & Trust Yourself More04 Nov 202500:17:27

So many of us spend our lives orienting around what other people think of us — seeking approval, avoiding disapproval, and constantly scanning for reassurance that we’re doing, saying, and being the “right” thing.

If you lean towards anxious attachment patterns, this makes perfect sense. The foundation of the anxious attachment pattern is an external orientation — learning to attune to others for safety, validation, and a sense of self. When we’ve never had a steady internal anchor, other people become our compass.

But that comes at a cost. We lose touch with our own truth — our values, our preferences, our intuition — and live our lives by borrowed standards. And the more we outsource our worth, the more fragile it becomes.

In this episode, we explore how to shift from being other-referenced to self-referenced:

  • Why anxiously attached people are especially sensitive to others’ opinions
  • How external orientation keeps us anxious and disconnected from ourselves
  • What it actually means to develop an internal compass
  • Practical steps to build self-trust and integrity
  • How to tolerate disapproval without collapsing into shame


Ultimately, caring less about what others think isn’t about indifference — it’s about self-trust. When you truly respect and stand by yourself, other people’s opinions carry less weight. You stop needing to convince anyone of your worth, because you already know it.

#212: How & When to Start Dating Again After a Break-up28 Oct 202500:20:03

One of the most common questions after a break-up is: when will I be ready to start dating again? Sadly, there’s no hard and fast rule, no magic timeline, and no moment where you’ll suddenly feel 100% confident and never wobble again. Readiness isn’t about the calendar — it’s about how you’re feeling, the work you’ve done, and the mindset you're bringing with you. 

In this episode, I’ll share:

  • Signs you may not be ready yet (like still being in the thick of grief, rumination, or longing for your ex)
  • Signs you might be moving toward readiness (like curiosity about meeting someone new and clarity around your standards and patterns)
  • How to approach dating again with intention and self-compassion
  • Why dating itself can stir up new layers of grief — and how that doesn’t mean you’ve failed or gone backwards

If you’ve been wondering whether to dip your toes back in the dating pool, this episode will help you manage your expectations, recognise where you’re at, and approach the process in a way that feels grounded and intentional.

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#203: How to Soften Your Inner Critic and Forgive Yourself for the Past26 Aug 202500:17:00

If you struggle with a harsh inner critic — whether it shows up as perfectionism, relentless self-judgment, or shame about the past — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the roots of that punitive inner voice, how it tries to keep us safe, and the real cost it can have on our self-worth, our nervous system, and our ability to grow. We’ll also explore what it looks like to relate to ourselves differently: to meet our inner critic with compassion rather than fear, and to begin the process of forgiving ourselves for the things we wish we’d done differently.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

  • The role of the inner critic and what it’s really trying to do
  • Why punishing yourself doesn’t lead to growth (and what does)
  • Why self-forgiveness can be so difficult
  • How to hold responsibility without collapsing into shame
  • Practical ways to begin softening your inner critic and making peace with your past

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#113: How Stress Impacts Our Relationships03 Oct 202300:27:11

In today's episode, we're talking all about stress and the profound impact it can have on our relationships. We live in a world where stress is chronic and constant - and not only does that spell trouble for our health and wellbeing, but it can leave us feeling lonely, resentful and disconnected in our partnerships. 

We'll cover:

  • how stress can exacerbate existing attachment dynamics
  • why we aren't designed for chronic stress and what it does to us
  • how our nervous system's stress response affects our perception and our stories
  • tips for managing stress more adaptively as an individual and within your relationship

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#112: When Your Partner Doesn't Want to Do The Work26 Sep 202300:18:19

In today's episode, we're talking about what to do when your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship. This is an incredibly common dynamic, to have one partner who wants to actively work on things and another partner who is more resistant (which can often overlap with anxious-avoidant dynamics).

We'll cover:

  • why your partner might be feeling resistant to doing "the work"
  • how different people make meaning out of needing to work on a relationship
  • ways to dismantle fear stories your partner might have
  • why it's entirely valid to value growth in a partnership

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#111: The Pillars of Trust & Trustworthiness21 Sep 202300:16:33

In today's episode, we're talking all about trust & trustworthiness. Trust is something that many people struggle with, oftentimes as a direct result of past experiences where trust has been breached. And as we'll discuss in today's conversation, trust is about so much more than honesty. My hope is that you'll walk away from today's episode with greater clarity about why you might struggle with trust, and the steps you can take to remediate this in your relationships. 

We'll cover:

  • the interplay between trust and trustworthiness
  • the five pillars of trust
  • how self-trust and relational trust are connected
  • building trust through small acts over time

Click here for my Building Trust masterclass 💻

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#110: What Healthy Interdependency Looks Like & How to Cultivate It19 Sep 202300:20:38

In today's episode, we're exploring healthy interdependency. Interdependency is often cited as a key trait of secure functioning relationships, and yet many of us lack a clear picture of what healthy interdependency actually looks and feels like - especially if you have a history of insecure attachment patterns.

We'll cover:

  • the spectrum from codependency to hyper-independence 
  • interdependency as a healthy middle ground
  • how different attachment styles relate to codependency, independence and interdependence
  • signs of healthy interdependency in a relationship

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR MY NEW COURSE ON ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIPS

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#109: Anxious Attachment & Open Relationships14 Sep 202300:12:52

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts around anxious attachment & open relationships. While not being my personal experience, this is an area I receive a lot of requests and questions around, as various non-monogamous relationship structures grow in popularity. 

We'll cover:

  • common struggles of anxious attachment and how they might show up in an open relationship structure
  • the importance of having a strong relationship to self when exploring open relationships
  • communication, boundaries and self-advocacy
  • why you should never agree to open a relationship just to hold onto someone

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#108: How to Navigate Different Love Languages12 Sep 202300:16:34

You've probably heard about the 5 Love Languages as pioneered by Gary Chapman. In this episode, I’ll share how to navigate the very common situation of having different love languages to your partner. We'll also cover how love languages interface with anxious-avoidant dynamics, and offer insights and practical tools on how you can share your love language with your partner so they can understand how to love you the way you want to be loved (and vice versa)!

We’ll cover:

  • The 5 love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving, and quality time
  • The benefits of knowing your love language, and your partner's
  • How love languages play out in anxious-avoidant dynamics

Find me on my new Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/@stephanierigg/

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#107: Q&A: Mismatched Libido & Anxious-Avoidant Sexual Dynamics07 Sep 202300:16:52

Mismatched libido in a relationship is a challenge that a lot of couples face. In today’s episode, I’ll be answering a listener's question of how to navigate mismatched libido in a relationship, particularly in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. I’ll guide you on strategies to break the anxious-avoidant spiral, by initiating open dialogue and finding a middle ground between both partners.


We’ll cover:

  • Why it's unrealistic to expect your libidos to be in sync all the time
  • How anxious and avoidant attachment styles relate to sex and intimacy
  • Tips for reframing a partner's lack of interest in sex


Use the code PODCAST50 for 50% off the Sex and Attachment Masterclass - https://www.stephanierigg.com/sex-attachment

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#106: Retroactive Jealousy: Navigating Discomfort With Our Partner's Past05 Sep 202300:16:19

Retroactive jealousy is one that focuses on the past, fixating on other partners or stages in your partner's lives and being threatened by it. In today’s conversation, I’ll dive into how such jealousy stirs immense stress, but more importantly, we share insights into building healthier, more resilient relationships.


We'll cover:

  • Impacting our self worth
  • Looking for skeletons and reasons to not trust
  • If you should share the jealousy with your partner
  • Keeping yourself in an unhealthy loop 

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#105: "How to navigate being newly single in my mid-30s? I feel like I'm out of time."31 Aug 202300:14:30

With societal pressures and a ticking clock, being newly single in your mid-30s can be challenging. In today’s episode, I want to share advice on navigating being newly single and the mindset for dating, and honouring the desires you have without feeling hopeless or overwhelmed.

We'll cover:

  • Grieving a future you thought you would have
  • The opportunity for reframe
  • Comparisons to other people’s lives
  • Creating a full and vibrant life for yourself


Use the code PHOENIX for $150 off the Higher Love Course https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love 

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#104: The Importance of Separateness in Relationships29 Aug 202300:17:51

As an anxiously attached person, space in a relationship can sometimes feel like the biggest threat. In today’s episode, I’m sharing my own experience with this and advice on how you can consciously choose space and separateness to foster greater intimacy in your relationship, especially in a time where you may feel more drawn to stay connected.

We'll cover:

  • Wanting to close the gap and be closer
  • Advice for how to reset and nurture separateness 
  • Things to do to focus on your own self-trust and security
  • Creating a healthier, more balanced relationship

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#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship Dynamics19 Aug 202500:21:50

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be.

While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carry emotional significance.

In this episode, we’re exploring how different attachment styles can impact the way we relate to our friends, why friendship ruptures can feel just as painful (if not more so) than romantic ones, and how to navigate these dynamics with more clarity, compassion, and self-respect.

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#103: How to Help a Partner Struggling with their Mental Health24 Aug 202300:18:12

Looking out for someone who you care for that is going through a hard time is a challenge most of us will have to face in our lifetimes. But feelings of threat to the relationship, especially as an anxious attached person may come up in these times, and I want to help you navigate through these while prioritising your wellbeing, and not overstepping.

We'll cover:

  • Monitoring your “fixing” the situation
  • Ways to support someone and yourself
  • How you can be a balanced supportive person
  • Nothing changes, unless something changes.


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#102: Break-Up Q&A: No-Contact, Reconciling, and Guilt22 Aug 202300:16:07

In today's episode, I'm answering your questions on the topic of break-ups. Break-ups are a universally challenging experience, and an area that I receive a lot of questions on.

So today I'm answering your questions on:

  • what is a no-contact period and how best to implement it?
  • when is it a good idea to reconcile with an ex?
  • how to deal with guilt around knowing that I need to break up with someone but worrying about hurting them?

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#101: Navigating Long-Distance Relationships: Tips & Pitfalls17 Aug 202300:21:53

In today’s episode, we’re exploring long-distance relationships. Despite the old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, many people tend to really struggle with long-distance relationship structures. 

We’ll cover:

  • Why it’s normal and natural to struggle with long-distance
  • How attachment dynamics can exacerbate long-distance challenges
  • Tips for maintaining connection while apart

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#100: How to Stop Taking Things So Personally15 Aug 202300:19:29

In today’s episode, I’m answering a listener’s question on how to stop taking things so personally. This is something a lot of us struggle with, and can lead us to internalise others’ behaviour in ways that damage our self-esteem and exacerbate our suffering. 

We’ll cover:

  • Why you might take things personally 
  • The link between people pleasing and taking things personally
  • How to approach these situations differently 

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#99: Attachment Styles & Break-Ups10 Aug 202300:23:39

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about attachment styles and break-ups. While of course, break-ups are messy, personal and far from formulaic, there are undeniably certain themes in how our break-ups feel that can be traced to our attachment patterns.

Understanding the ways in which attachment drives can shape how we relate to and experience break-ups is essential in finding greater compassion for our own experience, and depersonalising someone else’s behaviour to the extent that they’re processing the transition differently to us.

Use the code PHOENIX to save $150 off Higher Love - https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love  

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#98: Ghosting: Why It Happens & How to Process08 Aug 202300:15:45

Does ghosting leave you feeling anxious, confused, and questioning your self-worth? If so, you’re not alone. 

Today, we're diving deep into this all-too-common dating phenomenon. We'll explore  why ghosting occurs, the common impacts it has on self-esteem, and how to give yourself the closure and peace you desire. 

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#97: How a Fear of Abandonment Impacts Our Relationships03 Aug 202300:18:45

In today's episode, we're diving deep on the abandonment wound - a fear that lies at the heart of many insecure attachment patterns and relational dynamics. A fear of abandonment can show up in so many ways, and can keep us from experiencing relationships in a way that feels trusting, safe and secure. 

We'll cover:

  • how it feels to fear abandonment in your relationship
  • different forms of abandonment (physical, emotional)
  • relational behaviours that a fear of abandonment can lead to
  • the link between self-abandonment and a fear of abandonment

Last Chance For This Round to Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment  https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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#96: The Importance of Discomfort in Life & Relationships01 Aug 202300:23:22

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about discomfort — specifically, why it’s so essential in any healing journey to reframe the way we approach and relate to getting uncomfortable. 

Most of us recoil at the first sign of discomfort, preferring to stay squarely within the domain of what we know and can control. But this often means we’re confining ourselves to a very limited experience of what’s possible in our lives. 

We’ll cover:

  • Why we tend to gravitate towards what is familiar and known
  • How embracing discomfort builds resilience 
  • Physical protocols for exploring discomfort 
  • Building our emotional capacity for discomfort  

Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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#95: 3 Essential Ingredients to Make a Relationship Work27 Jul 202300:22:02

Have you ever wondered why your relationship struggles persist, even when you love each other and have tried and tried to make it work?

In today's episode, I'm sharing three essential ingredients to make a relationship work. These are fundamental pillars of healthy, lasting partnership - and yet, for a lot of people, one or more of these puzzle pieces are missing. 

We'll cover:

  • the importance of structural compatibility (ie, wanting the same thing)
  • being willing to invest in the relationship and the work it takes to make it thrive
  • the issue of capacity and how to know when someone can't give you what you're asking for (despite their best intentions)

Join Healing Anxious Attachment here! 🎉

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#94: The Path to Healing Anxious Attachment25 Jul 202300:34:27

Anxious attachment can be incredibly exhausting - but it doesn't have to govern your future.  And in today's episode, I'm going to be laying out the path to healing anxious attachment, walking you through the core pillars of my methodology.

We'll discuss the importance of self-regulation and how we can start to build self-trust and safety from within rather than depending solely on a partner to make us feel secure. 

We'll also delve deep into the core beliefs that drive anxious attachment, and how addressing these stories and wounds can liberate us from the fear of abandonment and feelings of unworthiness. 

Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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#201: How to Actually Heal from a Breakup12 Aug 202500:22:08

If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again.

In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, intentional path through heartbreak — one that doesn’t rely on ruminating, obsessing, or waiting for closure from someone else. We’re talking about how to actually heal from a breakup, rather than just surviving it.

I’ll walk you through:

  • Why grieving fully is essential (and how we often mistake rumination for grief)
  • The stories we tell ourselves post-breakup, and how they shape our suffering
  • How to find closure within yourself, instead of waiting for your ex to give it to you
  • What it means to really learn the lessons of a breakup
  • Why getting clear on what you want in future relationships is one of the most powerful things you can do before moving on

Whether your breakup was recent or something you still carry with you, my hope is that this episode supports you in finding your way back to yourself — with clarity, compassion, and courage.

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#93: Why Are "Toxic" Relationships So Hard to Recover From20 Jul 202300:22:22

Have you ever wondered why it can be so challenging to recover from toxic relationships? Why the drama and unpredictability leave you feeling more disoriented and overwhelmed than relieved? In today's episode, I'm here to guide you through this complex terrain. We'll unravel the dynamics of such relationships and expose the confusion, grief, and shame that often accompany them. 

It's a hard road, but I'm here to help you navigate through it. We'll dig into practical tools to assist you in the recovery process, and learn how to move on in a healthy way. 

We'll cover:

  • why we can feel more confused than relieved post-break up
  • how shame and isolation that can keep us cut off from our support networks
  • why closure can be particularly elusive after dysfunctional relationships 

Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

Heal from your break up, build deep self confidence, and find healthy, aligned love
https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love 

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#92: How to Manage Jealousy in Relationships18 Jul 202300:21:00

Unless you're a true outlier, there's a pretty good chance you've had some experience with jealousy.  And yet, as universal as it is, jealousy is possibly one of the most maligned emotions we can have. 

In today's episode, join me on a journey to understand this complex emotion better and explore ways to transform it into a tool for strengthening relationships. We'll explore the various expressions of jealousy, ranging from the healthy to the unhealthy, and shed light on why it emerges, encouraging a perspective of curiosity and understanding over judgement.

Today's episode will also be beneficial for those grappling with jealousy resulting from a partner's past wrongdoings. Together, we'll learn how to create a safe space for addressing these feelings and communicating them respectfully. So tune in, and let's redefine your understanding of jealousy in relationships.

Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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#91: How to Navigate Boundaries with an Ex-Partner13 Jul 202300:20:14

Ever been caught in that tricky situation of setting boundaries with an ex? Navigating this territory can be a daunting task at the best of times, and especially so when co-parenting or shared responsibilities are at play.  

In today's episode, I'll be sharing some strategies for establishing and upholding boundaries with ex-partners that allow you to prioritise your wellbeing. I'll also share some tips on how to handle emotions that may surface during interactions with an ex, how to manage people-pleasing parts that want to keep everyone happy, and how to extract yourself from addictive but ultimately unhealthy dynamics. 


Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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#90: Breaking the Cycle of Situationships11 Jul 202300:20:12

Ever been stuck in a situationship, that in-between space where you're more than purely casual but not truly committed? In today's episode, we're unboxing this modern dating conundrum.

We're peeling back the layers of why we find ourselves in these non-committal scenarios, particularly exploring the attachment drives that can both lead to and exacerbate this dynamic. More importantly, we'll explore how to opt out of this challenging cycle and pave our way towards healthier relationships.

Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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#89: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions (For the Recovering People Pleaser)06 Jul 202300:13:10

Are you feeling stuck in the perennial battle between seeking external validation and staying true to your authentic self? In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to detach from unhealthy people-pleasing behaviours that ask us to trade our authenticity for belonging and approval. 

This episode challenges you to take a deeper look into your people pleasing tendencies, learn to channel them more intentionally, and cultivate self-worth and self-respect. The goal? To build an internal foundation that allows us to handle criticism and rejection without losing our sense of self. 

Listen in as we explore the importance of cultivating conscious awareness around our patterns, discuss how to become more comfortable with who you are, and share practical tips to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. 

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#88: The Anxious Dater's Guide: How to Remain Grounded in the Early Dating Phase04 Jul 202300:25:20

Is your anxiety getting the better of you in the early stages of dating? Well, take a deep breath and let's journey together through this episode where we unravel the common anxieties in early dating, particularly for those with an anxious attachment style. 

We'll delve into the raw aspects of why this period can trigger our deepest sensitivities and how we can make this an empowering voyage of self-discovery. From learning to stay grounded, boosting confidence, to finding joy in the dating process, this episode is a treasure trove of insights and advice.

This episode goes beyond mere dating advice. We'll explore:

  • why it's problematic to completely alter your life for someone you've just met, and how it impacts the budding relationship. 
  • how to gain clarity about what you're looking for in a partner and a relationship, and how to articulate those needs effectively. 
  • the importance of taking things slow
  • how to get comfortable with the uncertainty that is inherent in the early dating phase. 

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#87: The Art of Secure Relating with Stan Tatkin29 Jun 202300:50:53

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by the one & only Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT. Stan is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of PACT (a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy), as well as being a prolific author of several best-selling books such as Wired for Love and most recently, In Each Other's Care. 

In this episode, Stan joins me to chat with me about how we can experience conflict within relationships in a safe way and really build secure foundations in our relationships. 

We'll cover:

  • How launching into self-protecting patterns can harm our relationships
  • The concept of secure functioning in a relationship
  • How regret can be a powerful teacher
  • The concept of the couple bubble
  • Finding acceptance for our partner's imperfections

Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#86: 3 Tips for Building Self-Trust27 Jun 202300:16:53

In the absence of self trust, we see a lot of other dominoes fall in terms of self worth and self respect. This is something almost everyone I work with struggles with to some degree and it’s a challenging piece of the puzzle when it comes to our personal growth in relationships. In today’s episode, I’m sharing 3 tips for building self trust to help you to go out into the world and make aligned choices.


We'll cover:

  • Knowing yourself and your values
  • Trusting your own boundaries
  • Finding others to sense check 
  • Knowing it’s not an instant fix


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#85: “Am I Being Unreasonable?” (Part 2)22 Jun 202300:17:33

In today’s episode, I’m continuing my series of answering your questions around the “reasonableness” of certain expectations and requests in relationship, with the goal of helping you build the muscle of discernment and capacity for self trust in navigating these nuances for yourself  

We'll cover:

  • Is it unreasonable to talk about the future - marriage, moving in, trips away?
  • Is it unreasonable to want my partner to come back within 24 hours after a fight?
  • Is it unreasonable when I ask my partner to think more about me in the relationship?
  • Is it unreasonable after 3 years, wanting my partner to anticipate my needs without me having to request them?
  • Is it unreasonable for me to want to spend 90% of my free time with my partner?


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#84: 5 Reminders If You're Going Through a Break-Up20 Jun 202300:20:27

Unless you’ve married your high school sweetheart and lived happily ever after, you have likely experienced a breakup in your life. In today’s episode, I’m sharing 5 reminders and ways to support yourself while you're going through a break-up.

We'll cover:

  • The break-up is going to be hard
  • Finding other support people
  • Processing the break-up in anxious and avoidant ways
  • Not making meaning or assumptions


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#200: How to Like Yourself More05 Aug 202500:23:03

So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like?

In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practical and tangible ways to do just that. This is about taking honest, grounded steps that help you build real self-respect, pride, and internal alignment. Whether you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, stuck in self-judgment, or just wanting to feel better in your own skin, this episode is for you.

We’ll explore:

  • How to identify where you’re out of alignment with your values
  • Why following through on your boundaries builds self-trust
  • The importance of noticing who or what brings out the worst in you
  • Why prioritising your wellbeing is essential
  • Why you should seek out opportunities to make yourself proud

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#83: How to Navigate Addiction to Drama with Dr Scott Lyons15 Jun 202300:49:58

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering why you keep attracting the same type of person, this episode is for you. Today I’m joined by Dr Scott Lyons, a holistic psychologist, educator and author, to talk about addiction to drama, and why we may subconsciously seek out chaos and intensity in our lives and relationships (even when we think we're trying to avoid it). 

We'll cover:

  • Understanding the addiction to drama
  • Common characteristics of someone addicted to drama
  • Big emotions don’t equal vulnerability
  • What the so-called “spark” really is
  • Finding people who know how to love


Find Scott on Instagram here, or check out his new book Addicted to Drama - https://www.drscottlyons.com/addicted-to-drama-book

Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses & my Higher Love course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#82: “Am I Being Unreasonable?” (Part 1)13 Jun 202300:22:33

One of the things I’m most often asked is “How do I know if I’m being unreasonable in my relationship?”. This can be a really tough enquiry to determine for yourself, particularly when you’re getting a lot of pushback and self-trust may be lacking. 

In today’s episode, I’m offering my take on your specific examples as to whether certain expectations, requests or situations are reasonable (or not), to help you to be able to build your discernment muscle and ultimately feel equipped to make that decision for yourself in your relationships.

We'll cover:

  • Should someone text me everyday after 1 or 2 dates?
  • Asking my partner to stop speaking to his ex because I compare myself with her
  • Asking my significant other to not like scandalous or seductive pictures online
  • Asking my partner to check in with me when they get home safely after drinking
  • Wanting regular sleepovers when my partner sleeps better alone


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#81: The Gift of Anxious-Avoidant Relationships08 Jun 202300:18:06

So much of the content around attachment theory focuses on the challenges that anxious-avoidant pairings can present. And while those challenges are undoubtedly very real, there are also real gifts within an anxious-avoidant dynamic when the individuals involved are prepared to meet in the middle. Today I’m sharing what those gifts can look like, and tips on making the most of your anxious-avoidant relationship so that it can become a space for healing.

We'll cover:

  • How different attachment styles respond to stress
  • Leading with compassion and care
  • The work that needs to be done with both attachment styles
  • Lessons and opportunities within anxious-avoidant relationships


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off my masterclasses or the Higher Love course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#80: How to Get an Avoidant Partner to Open Up06 Jun 202300:18:56

This week, I’m answering the community question, “How do I get my avoidant partner to open up?”. I’ll dive into how to pave the way for more genuine, authentic connection and what that looks like for people with avoidant attachment styles and anxious attachment styles within relationships.

We'll cover:

  • Preferences of wanting to receive information
  • Trust wounds in avoidant partners
  • Self-serving behaviour that could be impacting this issue
  • Insight into their experience


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 

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#79: 5 Reasons Why People Cheat01 Jun 202300:26:12

A couple of weeks ago, I shared my thoughts on if “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true, and today I’m continuing the conversation around the reasons why people cheat in a relationship and getting curious around what’s driving these behaviours. For some people this may be a challenging episode to listen to, so please make sure you’re in the right mindset to listen.


We'll cover:

  • Wounds around worthiness
  • Disconnection and loneliness
  • Feeling like it’s the easy way out
  • Being seen through rose coloured glasses


Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com 


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#78: Understanding Your Origin Wounds with Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft)30 May 202300:52:20

In today's episode, I'm joined by Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed marriage & family therapist, creator of the hugely successful @mindfulmft Instagram account, and recently published author of The Origins of You. Vienna has the gift of conveying complex and emotionally dense topics with such nuance. Today she joins me on the podcast to talk about origin wounds and how they impact patterns in relationships as adults and how we can honour our pain and experience.

We'll cover:

  • What happens when you hide behind a façade of being "fine"
  • The five origin wounds (worthiness, belonging, trust, safety and prioritisation)
  • Why we might struggle to explore our family dynamics
  • What happens when we avoid being in pain properly 
  • Finding peace with the pain

Find Vienna on Instagram or via her website.

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#77: "How to enjoy being single when I really want a relationship?"25 May 202300:15:18

When you really want a relationship, enjoying being single can be something incredibly challenging. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m diving into how to enjoy being single when all you really want is a relationship.

We'll cover:

  • Owning your desire for a loving, healthy relationship
  • Being grateful in the present
  • What it means to actually enjoy your life being single


Use the code PHOENIX for $150 off the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love


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#76: 5 Communication Mistakes You're Making (& What to do instead)23 May 202300:23:40

In today's episode, I’m sharing five communication and conflict mistakes that I often see people making in relationships and what you can do instead to bridge a positive connection with your partner.

We'll cover:

  • Why we shouldn’t avoid the hard conversations
  • What happens when we suppress our emotions
  • How to express your desires with your partner
  • Why we shouldn’t expect our partners to be mind readers 

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#75: Is "once a cheater, always a cheater" true?18 May 202300:13:15

Cheating within relationships can cause so much pain, grief and sensitivity around betray and infidelity. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m sharing my thoughts on if people can really change if they’ve cheated in the past and advice for people in the situation with concerns that their partner may not stay faithful.


We'll cover:

  • Learning from mistakes
  • The messy feelings that lead to infidelity
  • Tending to needs that aren’t being met
  • Expressing self awareness and regret

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#74: Helping Men Thrive in Life & Relationships with Connor Beaton (@mantalks)16 May 202300:57:46

In today's episode, I'm talking with NY-based coach, teacher and speaker, Connor Beaton about the challenges men are facing in our modern society. Connor and I talk through how understanding the experience of men better, we can cultivate healthier relationships and happier and more fulfilled lives. 

Note: while On Attachment aims to be as inclusive as possible, this conversation is focused primarily on male-female relationships and the dynamics that can arise therein. We know that's not everyone's experience, so feel free to take from this episode what resonates with you, and leave what doesn't. 

We'll cover:

  • Numbing out pain from childhood and using unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Stopping the cycle of running away from yourself
  • What it looks like inside a relationship when men are lacking confidence & competence
  • How vulnerability can be practised with men
  • What makes a great relationship

Find Connor Beaton's work on Instagram (@mantalks), check out his courses and membership on his website, and be sure to purchase his best-selling book Men's Work.

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#199: How Our Early Imprints Shape Our Lives & Relationships with Lael Stone30 Jul 202500:52:26

In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us.

We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us.

Whether you’re deep in your healing journey or just beginning to explore your inner world, this conversation is a reminder that we’re not defined by our past — and that we have the power to tell a new story.

Connect with Lael Stone

Instagram: @laelstone

Website: laelstone.com.au

Purchase Lael's new book, Own Your Story

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#73: Why We Want to Believe in "The One"11 May 202300:10:45

In today's episode, I'm unpacking the concept of "the one". When it comes to relationships, many of us have absorbed the conditioning that there is some perfect person out there for us - and our only job is to find them. This can lead us down a rabbit hole of doubt, comparison and low self-worth.

We cover:

  • why the idea of "the one" is unrealistic
  • how it can lead us to doubt our perfectly normal, healthy relationship
  • the unexpected reason why we might seek out "the one"

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#72: 5 Tips for Loving Someone Well09 May 202300:20:32

In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 tips on how to love someone well. So often, we think we are being loving towards someone - when really, we are pursuing our own agenda of loving them with strings attached. We love in order to get something in return, and then feel secretly resentful when things don't go our way. So instead, I'm sharing how to love someone in a way that feels pure and open-hearted.

We'll cover:

  • the importance of gratitude 
  • voicing appreciation and recognition of someone's contribution
  • how to accept someone rather than control or change them
  • taking responsibility for your own happiness
  • staying curious about your partner's inner world

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#71: "Is he avoidant or just not that into me?"04 May 202300:12:06

In today's episode, I'm answering the question of "How do I know if someone is avoidant or just not that interested in me?" This is a question I get A LOT - and the answer might surprise you.  

I'm going to share a common misconception about avoidant attachment in early dating, as well as some hard truths about why we seek out people whose behaviour leaves us questioning whether they're interested or not. 

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