NPE -Child of an Affair – Details, episodes & analysis

A quick check in from Pam at Child of an Affair.

Correction to name of the diagram I was working on with Trauma recovery coach it is called a Genogram not Enneagram although I have done my Enneagram too lol.

Remember you were meant to be here. You are beautiful and wonderful because you exist.

Thank you for listening. Sending you my support.

Feel free to answer the poll to share how far you are into your NPE Journey.

Today's mini episode was another experiment of mine with a letter I wrote to my deceased bio dad as a healing tool a few years ago. I finished the letter last year. I had it saved on my phone.

I plunked it into a free Ai song tool and it cut me off so there are two completely different songs made from one letter. So note the big style change as it goes past the 4 minute mark and becomes a new song for the last part of my letter.

I wrote a letter so it doesn't have a catch or a hook or chorus I just put my letter into the tool and it made this song. I need to find a female singer to take this and make into a proper song. I love the first tempo and style way better than the 2nd half and have it all even as one song. Maybe a few more Dear Daddy's thrown in and many words changed to fit into a song better.

I am still crying. I have played this 20 times over the last few weeks. I can only hope if there is an afterlife that my dad can hear this song. If you are like me... Have some kleenex and take care while listening.

Thank you .

Pam

Canadian NPE Laurel shares her journey of discovery and contact and connecting with her new Biological family and how finding out about the affair gave way to different reactions from her new half siblings. Resources Mentioned Not Parent Expected Canada is a public site- connect here to find the Gateway to join the Private Support Group https://notparentexpected.ca/ The Canadian specific group helps provide support, research assistance and resources available in Canada. Privacy laws and resources can vary from country to country. Please contact a mental health practitioner in your area if you need support.

I am so excited to have Jen who is an NPE -Child of an Affair and a Therapist share some of her own healing journey and insights of this discovery as our first guest.

If you want to hear Jen's Full NPE discovery story head over the "DNA Surprises Podcast" her episode aired on May 23, 2023. Titled “Jen's DNA Surprise”.

Trigger warning: We dig into the deeper feelings around her conception and that energy of her creation from the affair.

This episode is not therapy. Please contact a mental health practitioner if you are experiencing difficulties and need support.

If you would like to be a guest, contact me at npechildofanaffair@gmail.com

Resources Mentioned:

Support Groups and Retreats

Hiraeth Hope and Healing Retreats for NPE/MPEs

https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com

Not Parent Expected Canada

https://notparentexpected.ca/

Search Facebook for NPE Groups

Other resources

IFS Therapist-Stands for Internal Family Systems- Richard C. Swartz Author/Therapist

EMDR Therapist- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

NLP- Neurolinguistic Programming

 

Other Amazing NPE Podcasts

• Missing Pieces NPE Life
• NPE Stories
• Everything's Relative with Eve Sturges
• DNA Surprises
• Pulled by the Root
• Cutoff Genes
• Family Twist
• DNA Discoveries
• Family Secrets with Dani Shapiro
• Sex Lies and the Truth
• The Secret in my DNA

If you would like to be a guest contact me at npechildofanaffair@gmail.com.

A warm up episode to sharing my full story. I read a letter I sent this week to my biological half sister to confirm that a year ago I received confirmation from a cousins DNA test that their father Jack, was also by bio dad.

Please join me. I look forward to recording your NPE Child of a Affair story soon.

You can email me at npechildofanaffair@gmail.com

Resources mentioned:

Book: If you only knew- Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE World by Lezlee Liljenberg.

Facebook Private Group- Search for NPE Support on your facebook and complete the questions in the screening room for the group you would like to join. Please note there are some public informational pages and Private ones for support choose a private one to participate in support online.

I created this podcast as a supportive space to share our stories and perspectives around finding out that we are the child from an affair our parents had. You can share your interest in being a guest by emailing me at npechildofanaffair@gmail.com. This is a Supportive space only for those working through the discovery. Family members involved, therapists and experts on working through the Not Parent Expected Child of an Affair discovery are also welcome. You are not alone.

Are you the child of an affair, a therapist who works with those dealing with this type of discovery, are you the mother, father or bio dad or siblings newly found or from the original family and want to share your story to help support other NPE's who have recently found out that they are the child of an affair. You can reach me at npechildofanaffair@gmail.com. Let's dig in and talk about all the angles of this and how we can work together whether independently or has a family to navigate and work on healing from such a shock and trauma that affects our identity and sense of self. You are not alone.

This is a Supportive environment only any comments or emails to the contrary will be deleted and blocked.

Resources:

Books:

NPE* a Story guide for Unexpected DNA Discoveries by Leanne R Hay

Healing Journey for your MPE Discovery by Lynne W Spencer

Who even am I anyway- a process journal for Adoptees, Late Discovery Adoptees, Donor Conceived NPE, and MPE Community by Eve Sturges

My Re-Birthday Book- This is My Story by Kara Rubenstein Deyerin

Other resources:

Support Groups on Facebook- Search for NPE Support on Facebook

Not Parent Expected Canada

Hiraeth Hope and Healing retreat for NPE's

Someone showed me a feature on notebook Google where you can add any kind of text and it can make it into a podcast with AI, you can do with anything like a manual or any kind of text.

I decided to copy and paste in three out of the four of my correspondences with my half sister, I couldn't find the first one. I don't know where I saved it. I'm thinking it must be on our old computer. I have a paper copy somewhere. I will add that one and try it too, but I thought it was interesting to share here. Again this is just AI's take on reading my sister's response to my first four page letter, which is not included, I did include her second response after taking some time to talk to the family and then the letter that I wrote them last year. And let me say it's kind of scary how much emotionality is in it . And how much AI actually understands how painful this was for me too bad the real people involved don't feel it too. It created this in under 2 mins.

I deleted the first version of this episode because I still had a sound edit to do in the opening. I dedicate this episode to Gigi's mom. Last month I asked her if she wanted to post pone Part 2 in honour and respect for her mothers passing until May. I renamed this episode Hilde the Wilde for her mom to as a woman with a life and passions, sides of our mom they didn't always show us. We don't always get to know the whole person. and their feelings about having an affair or how they changed because of it. This episode is a continuation of my conversation with Gigi last June 2024. We talk about how her being 2SLGTBQ1+ and how coming out with her truth compares to her mothers struggle to come out with the truth and worries of being judged. Gigi shares ideas for resources that are needed for moms and dads of NPE's. Tough conversations like this are why these types of podcasts are important. It's not about insulting religion , it's about trying to understand the complexities of the guilt and shame and their influence on why our true stories are often kept a secret. Thank you Gigi for being so open and honest. I hope you find the right James soon.

The link to her blog is found here: https://www.facebook.com/share/18qFQJrDF7/