This is Part 1 of a 2-part series where Shannon dives into why uncertainty can feel overwhelming for children on the autism spectrum and how it often leads to escalating behaviors like hyperactivity, meltdowns, or resistance. She shares relatable stories from families and explains how disrupted routines and unpredictable situations, like holiday chaos, can amplify anxiety for our kids.

In this episode, Shannon unpacks strategies for creating a sense of predictability, including mental maps, structured routines, and sensory tools to help your child feel more secure. You’ll gain practical tips to navigate these challenging moments and be reminded that even when it feels hard, you are doing AMAZING at this mom thing.

Don’t miss this insightful discussion about understanding your child’s behavior and preparing for the follow-up episode next week in part 2 where we’ll explore resistance and opposition even further!

Tune in for encouragement, strategies, and the reminder that you’re stronger than you think. 💙

🌟 Leave a Review:

If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

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Finding Strength & Resilience; A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting

Click the link below for the details

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the Details

We can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our Not Your Average Autism Mom private membership.

Access exclusive support, training and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands.

Join us and discover how amazing this journey can be!⁠⁠⁠ https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/⁠⁠⁠

Additional Resources:

Join ⁠⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

⁠74. You Cannot Fix All the Things ALL the Time

201. Breaking Barriers; Why Low Expectations Hold Our Kids Back

Being a mom is hard, but being a mom to a child on the autism spectrum? That’s a whole new level of challenging.

In this episode, Shannon dives into the pressure many of us feel as we strive to be “perfect” and why striving for perfection often leads to burnout and frustration.

She shares personal stories from her journey with Jordan, including the early years of isolation and what she’s learned about the importance of community, self-care, and letting go of comparison. From advocating effectively for your child to rediscovering your own identity, this episode is packed with relatable scenarios and actionable tips to help you find balance.

Remember, your child doesn’t need a perfect mom—they need a happy, present one. Tune in to learn how to thrive on this unexpected parenting journey while still taking care of yourself.

Tune in for encouragement, strategies, and the reminder that you’re stronger than you think. 💙

🌟 Leave a Review:

If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

Are you registered for our FREE Webinar?

Finding Strength & Resilience; A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting

Click the link below for the details

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the Details

We can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our Not Your Average Autism Mom private membership.

Access exclusive support, training, and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands.

Join us and discover how amazing this journey can be!⁠⁠⁠ https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/⁠⁠⁠

Additional Resources:

Join ⁠⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

⁠74. You Cannot Fix All the Things ALL the Time

201. Breaking Barriers; Why Low Expectations Hold Our Kids Back

In this episode of Not Your Average Autism Mom, we’re tackling the whirlwind of fast emotions and intense behaviors that can overwhelm children on the autism spectrum. When your child goes from calm to chaotic in an instant, how do you help them slow down and stay regulated? Today, we’re diving into practical strategies, including the powerful technique of “pacing.”

Learn how matching your child’s intensity with calmness can make a huge difference in both emotional and behavioral regulation. We’ll break down easy-to-apply methods to keep your child grounded and connected while helping them manage those big emotions.

Tune in for encouragement, insights, and actionable advice to help you keep going, stay strong, and never give up. You’ve got this!

🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

Are you registered for our FREE Webinar?

Finding Strength & Resilience; A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting

Click the link below for the details

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/webinar ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Together, we can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our private membership.

Access exclusive support, training and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands. Join us and discover how amazing this journey can be! ⁠⁠https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/⁠⁠

Additional Resources:

Join ⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

85. Understanding Pragmatic Language

170. The Ripple Effect; Skill-Building Secrets

Today we have our very first guest on the podcast, and who better than my daughter, Jordan's sister, Madison?  

Maddie and I talk about her experience growing up with a brother with autism and a single mom.

It is a candid and open conversation and she shares her perspective on what it was like and the differences she sees now as a young adult.  

• What was the most difficult part for you growing up with a brother on the spectrum?
• Do you remember me explaining Jordan's autism to you at various times to help you understand?
• Did you ever feel like you were missing out on anything because of Jordan?
• Were there any times that you can remember when he did something that embarrassed you?
• Are there any things that you worry about as Jordan get's older?  
• How do you see that your relationship has changed as you are both young adults now?  

I believe that Madison growing up with an autistic brother gave her compassion and understanding at a very young age.  She is the least judgmental person I know and I think much of that comes from having a brother that was different.  

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 93. When your Autistic Child isn't your Only Child

Episode 90.  The Many Negative Impacts of Yelling

It isn't uncommon to feel like you are losing yourself in this parenting journey and you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated, and alone, right? You might have even had thoughts that you aren’t cut out for this autism parenting thing and you constantly feel like you aren’t doing enough.  Caring for a child on the spectrum takes a lot of time and energy parenting isn’t easy and when you add in autism, it’s usually next level.

Whether you have been here for a while with me or if you are brand new to me, you will hear me say all the time that you cannot travel this journey without support, honestly, it just isn’t sustainable. You will need help learning how to manage your feelings when faced with the challenges along this autism parenting journey that I promise you, you will come upon.

Raising a child on the spectrum is difficult for the entire family not to mention your extended family and friends who likely aren’t going to understand it and they might not even agree with it. You are going to need to learn how to manage your own emotions and feelings when you come up against these unique challenges. Find yourself a support network.  It can be so easy when things are difficult along this journey for you to isolate yourself, please don’t do that.  Don’t struggle to manage it alone. Loneliness will only increase your feelings of anxiety, depression, and isolation.

Your family and friends will likely respond in various ways and they might find it difficult to support you or they might respond in ways that actually aren’t very helpful.  I want you to feel totally capable of handling anything that comes your way. That is always my goal as I work with our moms. I help them to become the mom they want to be and build a life of resilience while embracing this unique parenting journey that we are on.

Maybe you are a single parent, and that brings with it, its own set of unique challenges but you are not broken, your family is not damaged and when you are willing to give up your story about how much harder your life is than everyone else, you can stop being so frustrated with your life and yourself. You will stop doubting your parenting and instead have confidence in yourself knowing that you are doing the best you can with what you know at any time. If you don’t take care of yourself and your emotional well-being along the way, you won’t be able to be the best parent to your child that they need you to be.

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 96. Our Parenting Journey is Different

Episode 74. You Cannot Fix All the Things All the Time 

Ever hear that inner voice telling you that you weren't made for this autism parenting journey?  It's too hard and you don't have enough patience to withstand it?  

What about this? Do you ever feel guilty because you just want time away from your kids?  Do you feel guilty for loving your job and going to work and you think that those stay-at-home moms must be much better moms than you?  

Maybe over the holiday break screen time limits have gone out the window or you’ve been through the fast food drive thru’s too many times or maybe you are continuously doubting if you’re doing things right or maybe you think that decisions you are making are going to have long term negative consequences for your child.

The truth is, there are so many reasons that we feel mom guilt. Sometimes it might be coming from your own personal insecurities or maybe it’s from your family members or it might be that you acted out in anger, and lost your cool, and before you knew it, you were yelling which isn’t typical for you, have you been there?

Do you ever feel guilty because you just want time away from your kids? STOP THAT.  It can be so easy to lose yourself along this journey of caring for your child.

When you can share your fears and self-doubt with other moms, you will often find that not only are you not alone but like-minded women can help each other let go of unrealistic comparisons that fuel mom guilt.

Make sure your expectations of yourself are reasonable and attainable and allow space for downtime.  For some of you, your mom guilt may come from past trauma or maybe you are focused on doing it better than your parent or parents did. If that is you, I want to encourage you to journal and give yourself a chance to see your thinking on paper. Once you can identify your triggers, it allows you to move past it and create your own truth as a parent.

If you’ve been ruminating over anything that has you feeling that mom guilt, I want to encourage you to let it go and give yourself grace that you too mama are learning along this journey and it’s bumpy and messy sometimes along the way, and every day is a new adventure.  

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 100. Lessons I have Learned Along our Journey

An autism diagnosis can definitely take a toll on a family and very well could be a contributing factor to divorce and on the other hand, some couples come together and grow stronger every day.

For parents like us, raising autistic children, our life can be pretty crazy and unpredictable. 

Having an autistic child does not mean that your marriage is going to fail.  I have worked with some families who felt like their bond became stronger as a couple because they were on the same page looking for answers to support their child so I believe that depending on the strength of the marriage before autism determines the outcome after the diagnosis.

Here is what we know… we know that living with an autistic person changes the entire family dynamic and it can place a huge strain on the parent's relationship. 

Communication is the key to keeping a relationship strong. You have to be willing to listen. You have to be open to hearing their opinions even when you don’t agree with them. You have to be willing to agree to disagree and then be willing to meet in the middle.  Learning to compromise and find a common ground will help maintain a strong relationship.

Every phase along this journey that your child and your family go through will be a new experience and there are many.  I think the bottom line is that an autism diagnosis doesn’t mean that a marriage or a relationship will fail, but it is important that you take the steps to alleviate the stress to allow for a better chance of succeeding and overcoming the obstacles along the way and most of all, make time for each other.

Additional Resources:

41. Emotional Ups and Downs of Raising a Child with Autism

60. The Most Important Relationship in your Autism Parenting Journey

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to change your life and become Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

We harbor so many unspoken fears, anxiety, and often hopelessness not to mention wanting to be the perfect parent to our child and then the guilt that comes along for the ride when we feel like we are falling short, right? I know, I’ve been there too.  In this episode, I am going to talk about something that every single one of us comes up against along this autism parenting journey and that is judgment from other people.

Autism can’t be seen and sometimes the things that we have to do for our children who to the unsuspecting public may seem too old for these things.  Even though 1 in 44 children are diagnosed autistic, unfortunately, there are still way more people in the world we live in who don’t know anything about autism.

I think one of the most important things that you can do for yourself is to remind yourself that they aren’t intentionally being rude, they simply don’t understand your child’s behavior or why you are doing what you are doing or why they are doing what they are doing.  It's a lack of understanding.  

What I don’t want you to do is let the public’s perception of you or your child dictate the course of your life.  I want you to know that you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Your child has autism and while the outside world may not all understand and may offer too much-unsolicited advice, retreating into your home and avoiding the public won’t be beneficial for you or your child and they will never have the opportunity to learn the skill set they need if you isolate.

As the parent of autistic children, it is important that you hold your head high and realize that despite having one of the most challenging jobs in the world, your consistency and diligence to figure it out day after day, even on the days you think you just can’t and yet you do, you are becoming a better person every day because of what your child or children are teaching you along the way.

All the judgment in the world, the looks, the comments, and the opinions of other people only affect you if you let them. You have a choice.

No one knows your situation. No one will ever fully understand your child’s struggles or the unique dynamics of your family. They don’t understand your situation and therefore cannot ever make an informed judgment.

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 96. Our Parenting Journey is Different

Episode 74. You Cannot Fix All the Things All the Time 

Sometimes, in our autism homes, the holidays are as stressful as they are joyful but much of that comes back to you and how willing you are to do things differently.  Most people assume that everyone enjoys receiving gifts, especially children right? But if your child exhibits more stress and difficult behaviors when they receive gifts, maybe it is time to try something new this year.

I spent way too many years, expecting Jordan to show his excitement in a way I believed was typical and how I thought he should and being so disappointed when he didn’t react to his gifts the way I thought he should.  What if instead of following traditions or having unrealistic expectations you explore ways to help your child learn to enjoy this special time?

I think it is important to not leave gift-giving from your family open to random gifts. Take time to communicate with the people in your life who will be buying gifts for your child. Taking the time to do this ahead of time will make gift giving and receiving so much better for not just your child but also for those family members or friends who are giving the gifts.

Each of our children have individual characteristics and while the holidays and gift giving and receiving may not be what you imagined, like so many other things along this unique autism parenting journey we are all on, it is important that you don’t get fixated on how things should be or what normal looks like and instead accepting your child and your family just as they are and most important, being willing to do the holidays different and in a way that works for you and your family without worrying about what anyone else thinks it should or shouldn’t be.

Additional Resources:

109. Why Waiting is so Difficult

67. Changing your Script in the New Year

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to change your life and become Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

The holidays can be a magical time, but for us who are parenting a child on the spectrum, there is often additional pressure from so many different directions.  We all likely have family members who don’t understand, right?

In this episode, I am going to focus on giving you permission to do the Holidays however it works for you and your family. There are no rules… the holidays can be whatever you want them to be and whatever is best for your child and you. You don’t have to say yes. You don’t have to go.

I believe that as their parent, it is our job to control the small things that we do have control over so when the things that we can’t control happen it makes it easier for them to deal with.

What if you decide ahead of time that your child is counting on you to set boundaries that help them feel safe what if you decide to make the holidays about what they can do right now, at this moment? You cannot control what other people in your family think about your decisions and it’s important that you don’t create more stories in your head about what they do or don’t think. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. 

Sometimes, you might choose to tell people what to expect. You aren’t asking for approval or disapproval, you are just giving them insight into what they might expect, and in doing so, let them know that it is ok, you know how to handle it and it is no big deal.

Think about what your expectations are and whether or not they are realistic and I encourage you to question if they are REALLY that important. Is it that important to make them be in the picture?  This journey is different, it isn’t bad, it’s just different, and accepting life as it is right now in this moment is the best thing that you can do for your child or your children and for you.  

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 100. Lessons I have Learned Along our Journey

Today I am talking about placement decisions on an IEP, Least Restrictive Environment, and Prior Written Notice.  I also side note on supplementary aids and services as it pertains to the placement in the gen ed setting.  

A child’s placement in a general education classroom is always the first placement that should be considered when the IEP team is determining placement.  The primary goal is that the student has the maximum opportunity to learn with children who do not have disabilities, in academic, nonacademic, and extracurricular activities.  . This is what IDEA calls Least Restrictive Environment, or LRE for short.

A student's placement needs to be considered annually for their IEP and it should always be the last thing the team determines after determining what the student needs to be successful in their educational setting.  The student's needs drive the placement decision so those should always be developed in the IEP prior to determining placement.

What if you don’t agree with the placement decision? What can you do?  As outlined in IDEA procedural safeguards, you can request mediation or file a Due Process case and in many states, you can also file a State Complaint.

During your child’s educational path, there may be times when the school makes decisions about your child’s education that you don’t agree with. When this happens, you have the right to request what is called a Prior Written Notice.

This is a written communication from the school outlining its decisions and the reasons for their decisions.

Prior Written Notice letters are always beneficial for you to have if you end up pursuing mediation, a State Complaint, or Due Process.

Additional Resources:

PRIVATE SISTERHOOD - Become part of a COMMUNITY that understands this parenting journey because we live it every day, just like you.

Autism vs Autistic, A Mom's Perspective

Special Education Things That You Should Know

The Evaluation Process of Special Education

The Eligibility Determination Meeting & The Differences of a 504 Plan and an IEP

What is an FBA and Why Your Child Might Need One

Grief can be complex for all of us.

Everyone responds to grief differently. Some may be angry, some may be sad, others may withdraw and some might seem totally unaffected. For our kids with autism, there could be a variety of emotional, behavioral, or physical reactions to grief. There might also be a delayed response because of their processing delays so their reactions are delayed or they may have either a more or less intense response.

When you have expectations of how your child or children should act or react and they don’t do it in the way you expected, you create your own feelings of sadness or disappointment, right? What if you just believe that they will grieve in their own way and you pay extra attention to the coming days to see if they might be somehow internalizing their grief and experiencing it differently than you do?

If they want to talk, talk with them. If they want to cry, acknowledge that their feelings of sadness are normal.

Most of our children will be resistant to questions about how they feel and I think a lot of that is because emotions are hard to understand, even for neurotypical people.

I think that any of us, including our children, while we know about death, we aren’t prepared for the intensity of grief when death takes someone from us, even if that is our animals.

Keep your discussions consistent with their level of development and what they will understand. Let them know that you are there to answer their questions if they have any, and be patient, there is no timeline for grief, no matter how big or small.

Keep their routines as normal as possible, we know that predictability goes a long way to help our kiddos feel safe and secure.

Loss and death and grief are difficult subjects to discuss and even more so with our kids who already struggle with talking about how they feel.

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a PRIVATE community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you when you BECOME Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 45. Strategies for Talking about Tragedy and Death

Being Not Your Average Autism Mom means we embrace our lives as they are right now. Whatever that looks like for each of us, we accept that this is our life.

What about you? Do you embrace your life as it is? Even in the chaotic and uncertain times or do you find yourself still wishing and hoping and dreaming it was different?

So the question is when you should accept what is?

If you are putting all of your energy into focusing on wishing that something or someone was different when you can’t change it, you are wasting your time and energy.

Here is what you should be doing…. Ask this question…

When you accept the reality, the truth of what is, then what is possible?

As a society, we have to realize that our internal anger will never change things. We think that our frustration or resentment or anger is actually doing something, but here is the truth, the situation or the other person has NO IDEA of what you are internalizing, so the truth is, you are causing your own pain.

When you are angry about something, whether that is that your child is autistic and life isn’t as you expected it to be or maybe it’s how someone treated you or something that happened in the past, you just carry it around with you. No one else is carrying it, just you.

Wanting reality to be different is hopeless.

I don’t think it is a question of when you should accept reality and when you shouldn’t. I believe we should always accept what is without emotionally resisting it.

The truth is that when you think something shouldn’t have happened, it is not true, because it did and no amount of thinking you do can change it.

If you want to be Not Your Average Autism Mom, get all the details at:

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

In this episode, we explore why autistic children may respond to emotions and social cues differently and how these differences show up in everyday life. From missing non-verbal cues to leaning on logic over emotion, autistic kids process the world uniquely—and that’s okay. We’ll dive into specific examples of how this might look in your parenting journey and give you practical strategies to better understand your child’s emotional responses. Whether it’s delayed reactions, difficulty expressing feelings, or offering problem-solving instead of comfort, you’ll gain insights on how to navigate these moments with compassion and clarity.

Tune in to discover how to build stronger communication and connection with your autistic child, one step at a time.

Listen now and learn how to embrace your child's emotional world!

🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

Are you registered for our FREE Webinar?

Finding Strength & Resilience; A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting

Click the link below for the details

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/webinar ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Together, we can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our private membership at Not Your Average Autism Mom.com

Access exclusive support, training and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands. Join us and discover how amazing this journey can be! ⁠⁠https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/⁠⁠

Additional Resources:

Join ⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

157. Reframing Defeat; Your Child’s Progress is Closer Than You Think

83. Assessing Your Child’s IEP

Delayed gratification is the ability to give up immediate pleasure to get a greater reward in the future.  The good news is that delayed gratification is a skill that anyone can learn although, for our children, like so many other things, their learning curve is sure to be greater, and mastering the skill will likely take considerably longer to accomplish.

The first thing I want to do is recommend that you start small. Delay their gratification for a very short period so they begin to connect the dots that while they had to wait, it was worth it.  The next thing is to make rules within your family that help model delayed gratification and talk about WHY you are waiting and what is on the other side of that wait and how much better that will be.

Teach your child gratitude.  The truth is, delayed gratification comes naturally when you are practicing gratitude.

What’s important in teaching our children this skill set is consistency just like so many things we are teaching them. Once you figure out which strategies work best for your child, practice them over and over in different settings.

These strategies will change as your child gets older and like I said earlier, some of them will be a big no for you and your child, but again, as you continue to implement and try different strategies to help them, the difficult times will begin to be less frequent.

If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to improve your life along this autism parenting journey, our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD might be exactly what you don't even realize that you need in your life.  Is the educational journey overwhelming and confusing for you?  Our member portal has an array of training and resources with everything you need to know about Special Education and you can join LIVE ZOOM calls with an Advocate to get any of your specific questions answered.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with in a community who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out ALL THE BENEFITS available for you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 16. Autism and Impulse Control

Episode 89.  Calming Down Big Emotions

Is this how you imagined parenthood to be?  Of course not, it isn’t how any of us imagined parenthood to be.  None of us planned for this journey, yet here we are.  When you constantly remind yourself that this wasn’t how you imagined parenthood to be you are creating your own suffering.

And here’s the thing… the reason for your suffering is that you think you know how life is supposed to go.  Being a parent to a child with autism is not how life was supposed to go, right?  That wasn't the story that you had created.  

When you drop the how it was supposed to go narrative and move into the this is how it is, you will create less resistance for yourself.

I believe the truth is that none of us really know how our life is supposed to go. None of it is certain and we are kidding ourselves when we tell ourselves that it should have gone some way other than the way it went.

Shifting your mindset will make a difference and you won't be resisting reality and that is the secret to finding peace in your story.  

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Misinformation across social media platforms is becoming increasingly prevalent.  I see countless posts with comments from numerous people who aren't experts in the specific area of the question.  When you look to social media as a source of information it can be harmful because it creates misunderstandings and confusion on important topics that can impact your child's future.  

In this episode, there is a bit of storytelling and sharing with you what I continue to learn as a consumer of social media that may be insightful to you.  I talk about how everything you do along this parenting journey is a learning experience and as soon as you think you have something figured out, another thing comes up.  

In an ideal world when we are presented with new information that contradicts our current beliefs we would evaluate the facts and adapt our views accordingly but that is not how things are in the real world.  

For many people, a challenge to their beliefs feels like an attack on their personal identity, and when someone suggests that their beliefs are wrong, they feel threatened.   This causes unnecessary back-and-forth conversations on the internet.  What a waste of your time and energy.  

Our brains are trained to seek out information that supports our existing belief system.  We search for and tend to remember things that go along with what we already know and understand.  

Additional Resources:

PRIVATE SISTERHOOD - Become part of a COMMUNITY that understands this parenting journey because we live it every day, just like you.  

Autism vs Autistic, A Mom's Perspective

Special Education Things That You Should Know

The Evaluation Process of Special Education

The Eligibility Determination Meeting & The Differences of a 504 Plan and an IEP

What is an FBA and Why Your Child Might Need One

In this episode, I am talking about how many of our children have sensory challenges with their tactile system.  

Our tactile system is the nerves under our skin surface that send information on touch and how we perceive our environment to our brains.  Tactile defensiveness is a condition in which a person is extremely sensitive to even light touch.  

Their brains may find some types of touch overwhelming and even painful and they can't escape it.  

Another challenge is that their pain signals may not reach their brain which makes them more prone to injury or even worse, to injuries not being identified.  

I also talk about their sensitivity to certain textures of food and our worries about their overall health when they are resistant to certain foods.  

What about certain textures of fabric or their resistance to keep their shoes on?  

All of these things are directly related to their tactile deficits.   

I encourage you to remember that while many of these things don't seem like a big deal to you or me, their challenges are real.  

REMINDER:  If you have been sitting on the fence and thinking about joining our AMAZING Community of women all traveling this unique autism parenting journey, NOW is the time.  

We are CLOSING the DOORS to NEW MEMBERS in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD on October 3rd, 2022, and won't open again until sometime in 2023.  

Nowhere else offers you what we do inside, check out all the benefits at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Hyperlexia is a term that refers to children who begin to read and decode language and numbers at a very young age or when a child can read at levels far beyond what is expected at their age.  Typically, a child with hyperlexia will have communication or speaking skills that are below their age level.

There are actually three levels of hyperlexia, hyperlexia l, hyperlexia ll, and hyperlexia lll. There is no specific test to diagnose it and it is generally identified based on what symptoms and changes a child demonstrate over time.

Hyperlexia is not clearly defined in the DSM-5 although the DSM-5 lists it as a component of Autism. It also co-exists with other disorders like specific language disorders, ADHD, Childhood apraxia of speech, OCD, and Sensory Integration Disorder.

The downside to a child with hyperlexia is that they may be decoding, sounding out words, and even reading, yet they do not understand and are not comprehending what they are reading.

Join me in this episode as I go through what to look for as well as options for interventions that may be beneficial.   

This autism parenting journey can feel lonely, and friendships can be difficult when others don’t understand your journey. Find support from those who understand. That is what our SISTERHOOD is all about.

We are CLOSING the DOORS for NEW MEMBERS SOON so don't MISS IT!  Click below for all the details:

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

Additional Resources:

60. The Most Important Relationship Along Your Autism Parenting Journey 

We know that every person, you and I included, we all have strengths and weaknesses, yet, along this autism parenting journey, somehow the conversations about our children always seem to find their way to focus on their deficits. I want us to change that narrative and that change begins with you and me.

As our knowledge and understanding of autism as a whole continue to grow, so does our insight into the amazing strengths that many of our children have. In this episode, I talk about many of the strengths that our children have and how we can use their strengths to help them continue to grow and learn.  

I encourage you to always make it a point to give equal air-time to their strengths as you do their deficits.  

When we identify our children's strengths, we increase their motivation and unlock their potential for learning. 

Additional Resources:

Episode 54. Understanding Memory in Autism

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to be part of our amazing PRIVATE SISTERHOOD, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

When our children are asking the same question over and over, it can be frustrating and it is important to try to figure out the reason for their questions. As with any behavior, it can be very helpful if you play detective and try to determine what has prompted the repetitive question.

Because many of our children engage in repetitive behavior or echolalia, this repetition of questions may have the same appeal to them, asking the same question and getting the same answer every time so you want to be mindful of this.

It could be their coping strategy when they feel uncertain or stressed in a certain situation, or if they use echolalia, they might be asking a question based on what they think is appropriate in a certain situation.

In this episode, I will give you some strategies that you can use to both lessen and re-direct the questions when necessary.

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

25. What You Might Not Know About Echolalia

Click the link below to listen now:

https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/T9Afxrxu6sb

Whether we like it or not, stigma has a role in predicting how challenging our life raising an autistic child or children will be.  There are so many people who are still naive to autism and what it means and how it is different for all of us.

When your child is having a meltdown in the produce section of the grocery store or is scripting very loudly at a family event, those are the moments when you feel the stigma of autism in your life.

There are people who don't understand and you have to be ok with that.  Your life, your parenting, the way you feel about your child, none of those things should be impacted by that person who is annoyed in the grocery store or your mother-in-law that doesn't believe the diagnosis.  You have to believe in your child and your family and above all, yourself.

You worry as a parent about the judgment, I get it.  That takes work to get to the point where other people's opinions and judgment don't impact the way you feel about yourself or your parenting.

Getting an autism diagnosis opens up doors to therapies and other available resources your child will need to improve their lives and their abilities to navigate the world in their own unique way.

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at info@notyouraverageautismmom.com

If you want to be part of our amazing PRIVATE SISTERHOOD, get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

We would love to walk alongside you on your unique autism parenting journey.

Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) is any type of communication that does not include speech.  The use of AAC for children with autism does not prevent a child from speaking and in fact, the research shows that it may actually increase their speech.  AAC programs and AT devices are not exclusively for non-verbal individuals, they can also be used for individuals with emerging language to help them talk even more.

AAC Apps, there are a variety of iOS apps to meet the needs of AAC communicators.  

Click below to check them out:

https://aacapps.com/

Choose ONE device and USE ONLY that device.  The chosen device is your child's voice and should be with them at all times.  

When a school determines through the IEP process that an AT device is necessary to provide FAPE, the device, and services, including parent and staff training must be provided at no cost to the family and should be included in the IEP.  

Your child’s communication needs will likely change as they grow and there are always different options to meet their needs.

Today (August 25, 2022) is the FINAL day for you to JOIN US inside our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD and your first month is FREE in celebration of our 100th episode last week.

Head over to our website at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com and click Join Now and use code: 100EPISODE at checkout.

It's a BIG DAY here at Not Your Average Autism Mom!  

It's our 100th podcast episode and we are so proud of this huge milestone and so grateful for the work that we do and that we have the opportunity to improve the lives of families raising a child or children diagnosed with autism.  We wouldn't be where we are today without our amazing followers and faithful listeners who come back week after week to listen, so to you, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, and always know that while my goal is for you to learn something you didn't know and ways that you can make your life better, I want you to know, I appreciate you being here and I am grateful.  

In this episode, I am going to take you through some of the things Jordan and I have experienced so far along our journey and more importantly what I learned that I hope might help you.

I vividly remember hearing those words, “kids like him” and I felt like my heart had been shattered into a million pieces.

Jordan learned quickly and his retention was impeccable. It was very apparent that he did not have a cognitive deficit but his expressive language and speech delays along with his social awkwardness were significant and noticeable.

He was non-compliant, he would spit, kick and throw books and literally just flip out with not a care in the world of the other kids in his class.

One of the things I really struggled with the most was everyone looking to ME, just me for the answers on how to make him behave. if you have felt like you are failing because you don’t know the answers, I promise you, you are not.  We don’t know all the answers and honestly, a lot of times, our educators don’t have the answers either.

When I realized that I get to decide on purpose how I want to feel in any situation in my life and I embraced the chaos of what our life is some days, it made a world of difference in how I showed up not only for Jordan and Maddie but for myself. I was no longer consumed with all the reasons that my life was so hard and I was failing.

I am sharing with you the 3 biggest lessons that I learned in hopes that they will help you along your autism parenting journey.  

In honor of our 100th episode today, if you have been thinking about joining us inside our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD, now is your chance.  For a LIMITED TIME *ONLY UNTIL AUGUST 25th, 2022. Go to www.notyouraverageautismmom.com and click JOIN NOW and use the code: 100EPISODE and enjoy your first month FREE as our gift to you as we celebrate reaching the milestone of 100 podcasts!  Come on and join us, you have literally nothing to lose and everything to gain so HURRY because this is ONLY AVAILABLE UNTIL AUGUST 25th, 2022.  

Additional Resources:

72. Ripping the Band-Aid Off on Electronics

7.  Electronics and the Benefits of Setting Screen Time Limits

18. Correcting Behaviors and Consequences

In this episode of the Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast, we’re tackling an often uncomfortable but incredibly important topic: sexual curiosity in our autistic children. As our kids grow, they naturally become curious about their bodies and the bodies of others. But for children on the spectrum, understanding boundaries and social norms around these behaviors can be especially challenging.

Today, we’re discussing how to handle situations where “show me and I’ll show you” games might come into play, and why it’s critical to address these moments early on. I’ll share practical strategies for having open, positive conversations about sexuality, teaching boundaries, and ensuring our kids understand the difference between what’s appropriate in private versus public spaces. Plus, we’ll talk about when it might be time to seek professional help for more complex situations.

This is not an easy subject, but it’s one we need to be prepared for. Join me as we navigate this together, giving our children the knowledge and guidance they need to explore safely and confidently.

Tune in for encouragement, insights, and actionable advice to help you keep going, stay strong, and never give up. You’ve got this!

🌟 Leave a Review: If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

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Finding Strength & Resilience; A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting

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Together, we can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our private membership.

Access exclusive support, training and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands. Join us and discover how amazing this journey can be!⁠⁠ https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/⁠⁠

Additional Resources:

Join ⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

143. Social Expectations vs Autism Reality

70. What Do You Make Their Behavior Mean

This time of year isn't easy for many of us as our children transition from summer to back-to-school.  Just that word transition makes us a little uneasy so just imagine how our kids feel.  

The school environment can present so many challenges for our students with autism and that in itself can create challenges with their learning not to mention that if their classroom environment isn’t set up for their unique needs, it can be a huge disadvantage for them.

It is your child’s IEP Team’s responsibility to make sure that their classroom is equipped to support them in that learning environment and remember, you are a very important part of that team.  

In this episode, I give you specific things to consider that might be beneficial for your child in the school environment.  We have to be willing to think outside of the box and consider things that maybe have never been tried before.  We have to be willing to try to be successful, for our children to be successful.  Much of this journey is learning along the way through trial and error.  

Which learning style best describes your child?  Use their strengths to ensure the way their curriculum is being delivered meets their needs and doesn't hinder their ability to learn but instead enhances it.  

Each of our children’s unique needs provides teachers an opportunity to observe their classroom and figure out which accommodations are beneficial and which aren’t as they navigate the process of providing support for all of their students.

Additional Resources:

Special Education Things that you Should Know

Social Thinking

https://www.socialthinking.com/

Diane Alber on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3ADiane+Alber&s=relevancerank&text=Diane+Alber&ref=dp_byline_sr_pop_book_1

Why it is important that we embrace the chaos along this journey? There are going to be times that are unpredictable and full of uncertainty, there just are.  When we accept that this is our life and we are navigating it the best we know how with what we know at the moment, it becomes way easier to live in it.  There are things that we must let go of in order for this to happen.  

You cannot control how your child acts or reacts and you can't control the meltdowns, but what you can control is you.  You can control how you show up in any situation and the way you decide to show up can make the situation either better or worse.  

When you choose to just embrace and accept your life as it is and move forward without worrying about judgment from others, you will ultimately find yourself happier and more at peace with your life.

The chaos will change as your child grows. There is often verbal stimming, you know those noises that go on and on and on, or pacing back and forth, back and forth, or what about a meltdown in the grocery store, or biting or hitting another child in school and some of our children may even become violent and destructive.

So many of our children’s behavioral challenges are escalated by the way we are interacting with them which is why learning to manage your own mind and realizing that you are in control of YOU matters.

For many of our children, mine included, their thinking is very rigid and inflexible, very black and white, and definitely no gray area. When things don’t go as they expect, they panic and go into a meltdown. Their ability to control their emotions is just not developed and they don’t have the ability to manage them.

You cannot predict the future. Uncertainty about how things will go in any situation is usually an unknown for us, right? 

There are things that you can do to help your child if there is a possibility of chaos and I share strategies you can use in this episode.

You don’t know what real strength you have unless you are put in a situation that forces you to bring it out. Raising a child or children with autism will show you the depth of your strength.

If you want to learn more about managing your mind and learning to control your emotions, the coaching program inside our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD might be exactly what you are looking for combined with many other benefits.  Maybe you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 90.  The Many Negative Impacts of Yelling

Episode 89.  Calming Down Big Emotions

For most of us, we take executive functioning skills for granted.  It is something that just came naturally, but for our children, it is not that way. They need to be taught these skills through repetition and practice and you must be patient and understanding of their struggles.  

Not all autistic individuals have deficits in executive functioning skills and some may have deficits in only one or two areas.  

Executive functioning skills are the mental skills that we use to navigate our everyday lives.  These abilities help us pay attention, stay on task, understand other people's perspectives, make decisions and organize and prioritize what needs to be done.  

Planning is the ability to forward think and sequence things to have a start and end.  Many individuals on the spectrum have difficulty formulating a plan to organize those tasks.  

In this episode, I give you strategies that you can begin to use to help your child build this skill-set.  

The earlier you begin to work on these things, the easier it will be for them as they continue to grow and develop and the reward for their self-esteem and ultimately their independence will be well worth your time and patience.  

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 92. Slow Processing Impacts Everyday Life

Episode 40. The Impact of Mind Blindness

The Adventures of You video series

I believe that for our children to grow and develop we cannot raise them the same as we would raise our neurotypical children because there are differences.  The vast majority of autistic children, even children who are non-verbal are able to understand and comply with basic rules of conduct they just might need more time to adjust and become comfortable with what is and what isn’t allowed.

Think about this… your child or children experience the same world we do but in an extraordinary way.

The more that you are willing to expose your children to the world it will help them become aware and accustomed to the world around them. While I know that sometimes it feels easier to stay home, especially if their behavior is unpredictable, that isolation is not healthy for them or for you.

You will try many different approaches when it comes to parenting as your child continues to grow and change along the way and it is important that you don’t get discouraged when something doesn’t work.

This autism parenting journey can feel lonely, and friendships can be difficult when others don’t understand your journey. Find support from those who understand. That is what our SISTERHOOD is all about.  

We are CLOSING the DOORS for NEW MEMBERS SOON so don't MISS IT!  Click below for all the details:

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

60. The Most Important Relationship Along Your Autism Parenting Journey 

For some of our kids who might have limited language cooperating is extra challenging because they might not understand the directions of what exactly you want them to do and if you are giving them multi-step directions, this creates more overwhelm for them when you are asking them to do too many things at once.

Many of our children have deficits with executive functioning skills and multi-step directions require them to utilize that skill that they simply just might not have available to them, right?

When our children don’t understand the reason for the request they are resistant. If it doesn’t make sense to them they might not comply. You might find it helpful to explain the reasoning behind the request or even better the outcome after they comply.

Don’t give in just because you get resistance or you will be teaching them that resistance wins every time, right? If they resist, you won’t require them to do it.  When we allow their behaviors to get them out of doing a non-preferred activity or something that you are asking them to do, it teaches them a habit that you absolutely don’t want to teach.

Many of our kiddos also get frustrated when they can’t manage their strong emotions when they are asked to do something they don’t want to do so they act out and resist your request.

Always give them encouragement and high fives or hugs when they are cooperating or doing what you ask.

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Episode 92. Slow Processing Impacts Everyday Life

Episode 40. The Impact of Mind Blindness

In this episode, I am talking about the perceptions and misconceptions that people have about autism when their lives have not yet been impacted by autism. With the increased number of families whose lives are being impacted by autism, surely more and more people's lives will be impacted.  Currently, 1 in 44 children here in the US are diagnosed and that number is not far behind Internationally.

Autism is a different way of thinking and experiencing the world and each autistic individual will have different challenges and struggles along the way. The saying when you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism is so true.

You know, one of the questions that I get a lot is WHEN WILL I KNOW if my child will be able to live on their own or have to live with me for the rest of their life?  Have you ever wondered?  Well, in this episode, I address this exact question.

I also go into detail about a few of the misconceptions about autistic individuals and some things for you to consider.  

I am hopeful you find it helpful.  

We are CLOSING the Doors SOON to our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD... Don't MISS OUT on JOINING US!

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Additional Resources:

Chris Ramsay on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/user/MrTricksforfun

Being a sibling can be a difficult dynamic and when you add in autism, it takes it to an entirely different level.

It is normal for siblings to have a range of ever-changing emotions being part of a family whose lives have been impacted by autism.

As you continue to explain autism to your child or children who aren’t diagnosed with autism, we hope that they will become more understanding and more tolerant and have compassion for their brother or sister's needs but I believe that it is important for us as parents to understand that they might feel sad and they might feel confused about how their sibling acts or reacts in different situations. The good news is that the more they understand their sibling's autism, and maybe as they get older, there is hope that their relationship will change and grow with them.

It is our job while we are navigating this journey to help our other children navigate theirs too. There will be times when they might be embarrassed or angry at their sibling, there will likely be times when they are frustrated when their sibling doesn’t want to play with them or only wants to play with something they want to play.

Many siblings will be embarrassed to bring friends into their home for fear of how their new friends might react to their brother or sister.

Part of our job in this autism parenting journey is planning ahead for situations that we know might be difficult. Just like you have felt overwhelmed at times, your other children will feel that way too at times.

Have you checked out our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD?

You should see all the training, resources, coaching, and above all, community inside.

We are an amazing group of women who are all traveling this unique autism parenting journey and we would love you have you join us.

Get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

Additional Resources:

https://anchor.fm/shannon-urquiola/episodes/20----Independent-Living-Skills-are-SO-IMPORTANT--Do-you-DO-too-much-emjq0l 

Processing speed is the amount of time that we take to take in the information being presented to us, make sense of it, and respond to it.

This can be visually when we are reading something, auditory when we are listening to something or someone is telling us something, or motor planning which basically means that even when a child has done a task before, every time it is like they are doing it for the first time because their brain isn’t giving them the feedback they need. They might seem clumsy, it might take them what seems like forever to learn to tie their shoes and many physical tasks are just simply harder for them.

The speed of how someone processes information is not related to their IQ or intelligence, it is simply that some individuals take longer to process the information they are taking in than others do. Many very intelligent people process information slowly.

Unfortunately, slow processing can impact so many areas of their lives where they might already have challenges, like social settings and their educational setting.

The problem with their struggles is that many people jump to the conclusion that they are unmotivated, lazy, or not focused. This is important for you to listen for because I promise you, if they are a slow processor, that is likely not the case.

What if for a minute we just allowed them to be them?  Slowing down and having a less rushed approach to life might be exactly what we need.  

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Tourette Syndrome is a condition of the nervous system. It is a neurological disorder that involves often sudden and repetitive movements, twitches, or unwanted sounds (tics) that cannot be easily controlled.

Statistics show that around one in five children with Tourette Syndrome also meets the criteria for Autism. All the research that I have done, says that it is unlikely that so many children have both disorders but instead, Tourette’s symptoms often mimic or seem quite similar to those of autism.

No one knows exactly what causes tics to occur and they often change in type and intensity. You will usually notice that they might increase in times of excitement, anxiety, anticipation, stress, AND sleep deprivation.  They can also change over time and appear, disappear and reappear, they are considered chronic.

Screen time on electronic devices increases dopamine and tics are dopamine-related so if your child is using electronics in excess and experiencing tics, whether they are vocal or motor, I really would like to encourage you to evaluate their screen time and consider lessening their daily time.  

If your child’s tics are negatively impacting their education in the educational setting, we recommend that you request a meeting to discuss the possibilities of a 504 plan or an IEP to give them the necessary accommodations or services to help them.

Have you checked out our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD?

You should see all the training, resources, coaching, and above all, community inside.

We are an amazing group of women who are all traveling this unique autism parenting journey and we would love you have you join us.

Get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

Additional Resources:

https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/blog/electronics-and-the-benefits-of-setting-screen-time-limits 

https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/blog/72-ripping-the-band-aid-off-on-electronics

You can contact the Tourette Association at www.tourette.org or by calling 888-4TOURET.

HBO documentary, I Have Tourette’s but Tourette’s Doesn’t Have Me

In this episode, I am talking about those moments when you have had it and you are simply at what feels like the end of your rope and why staying calm in those moments will pay off in the end.  

I know that every one of us knows intellectually that in the moments of chaos, staying calm is the answer, but it’s not always easy to execute and at that moment we find it hard to do the right thing. While yelling may seem effective in the moment, it won’t change their behavior long term. Their behaviors are often confusing to us, we don’t understand why they act a certain way or melt down for no apparent reason and that is why it is so important that you continue to try to learn and get a better understanding of your child or your children along this journey. Learning why they react the way they do will ultimately help you to help them.

It is also important to recognize when you are about to lose control so you can remove yourself from the situation. Take a break and breathe.

When you work on being focused on your own emotions and your reactions in difficult situations, when you remember to take a deep breath, to be calm and assertive when dealing with a frustrating situation you will begin to see a difference. You will begin to see that when they are out of control and you remain in control you will be dealing with the situation in a much more positive way and above all, you will feel a lot less stressed out in those moments.

Have you checked out our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD?

You should see all the training, resources, coaching, and above all, community inside.

We are an amazing group of women who are all traveling this unique autism parenting journey and we would love you have you join us.

Get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

In this episode of Not Your Average Autism Mom podcast, we tackle a common misconception: the idea that someone can be "too social" to be autistic.

Autism looks different for everyone, and social interaction isn’t as simple as being shy or outgoing. We’ll explore how many autistic individuals enjoy socializing but might struggle with the unwritten social rules, like picking up on cues or managing group dynamics.

In this episode, your host, Shannon Urquiola shares real-life examples, breaks down why social skills development may require direct teaching, and offers practical tips for parents to help their children navigate social situations with confidence. Whether your child craves social interaction or feels overwhelmed by it, this episode will help you understand how to support them in building meaningful connections.

Tune in to learn why the "too social for autism" myth is outdated, and how you can advocate for your child's unique way of interacting with the world.

Every episode will give you encouragement, insights, and actionable advice to help you keep going, stay strong, and never give up. You’ve got this!

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If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

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Together, we can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our Not Your Average Autism Mom private membership.

Access exclusive support, training and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands.

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Additional Resources:

Join ⁠⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

⁠143. Social Expectations vs Autism Reality⁠

⁠70. What Do You Make Their Behavior Mean

If your child is consistently having meltdown behaviors that include an intense amount of emotion or appears to be unable to control their temper, it is not typical behavior but unfortunately, our autistic children often feel things more intensely and they are often unable to return to a place of calm as quickly as we would like.  

It is important for our children when they are exhibiting these meltdown behaviors that we do our best to try to find the cause or the triggers so that we can help them understand that emotion does not come on like a freight train. Emotion comes in waves and over time and we want to learn how to help them identify their emotion before it is at the explosive level.

Emotions are part of life and learning to identify them is key.

Much of the anger in our children stems from their inability to effectively communicate, maybe due to an expressive language deficit, and because they aren’t able to effectively communicate their frustration, they lash out with these behaviors.  Their emotions are on overload and they are extremely dysregulated.

Your emotions are also an integral part of this dynamic because you must be in control of your own emotions before you can expect them to control theirs.  They are not doing this to you.  This is happening to them.  

If you are working through some BIG emotions and challenging behaviors with your child just know that you are not alone.

Additional Resources:

Episode 38: Emotional Dysregulation and the Challenges that come with It.

Episode 58. Tackling Challenging Behavior with Positive Interventions

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Most of our children diagnosed with autism, share this commonality of having social awkwardness, right?  Think about this, we use social skills to some extent every single day of our lives which means that our children will need help in learning and developing these skills if our goal is for them to become independent adults.

They need help understanding how to act and engage in different social settings.  It doesn't come naturally to them.

In this episode, I am giving you ideas and suggestions on social skills groups as well as those community opportunities to have them participate in recreational activities.  

I am also discussing the importance of you embracing the teaching opportunities that you have throughout your daily lives.  

There is also the component of you being able to manage your thoughts and emotions and are you willing to be understanding and accept the fact that your child may not be able to do what the other children can?  

No one's involvement in their growth and development is more important than yours.  What are you willing to do to ensure that they continue to build the skills they need that will lead to their independence?  

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Today, I am talking about the dreaded decision of whether or not to pursue promoting your child to the next grade level or holding them back a year.  For our kids, this is often such a difficult decision because while they may be advanced in some areas they are likely delayed in other areas both academically and socially.

We have had two years of unprecedented disruptions in learning with COVID so depending on what grade your child is in will determine how much if at all your child’s learning has been impacted.

Overall, research shows that retention does not lead to better outcomes.  They argue that the literacy gains made during a retention year do not stay with a child long-term or help them catch up. In this episode, I am sharing with you some things you need to know as well as things you should consider so that you can make an informed decision for yourself and your child, and your family.

Promoting students to the next grade negating their mastery of basic skills, in my opinion, is not the answer, it is simply pushing them through, and then when they arrive in middle and high school it is an even bigger problem.

Many parents believe that retention will allow their child to have more time to develop socially so there isn’t such a broad gap between where they are socially and where their peers are. People with autism, at every age and severity level, tend to be young for their age.

Ultimately, the decision to have a child repeat a grade is a hard one, especially for a child with autism. Follow your instincts and ask questions about any and all concerns you have as well as share with the school administrators and team what you feel is the best decision for your child.

Have you checked out our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD?

You should see all the training, resources, coaching, and above all, community available inside.

We are an amazing group of women who are all traveling this unique autism parenting journey and we would love you have you join us.

Get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

There are many similarities between autism and dyspraxia and for that reason, there are sometimes challenges in diagnosing one over the other or both. Both disorders present very similarly and in some instances, they can occur side by side.

Some of the signs of both disorders are seen in early development, those things would include delays in sitting up, crawling, and walking as well as potty training.  Individuals with dyspraxia have difficulty articulating themselves and their brain processes the information that they want to say at a slower rate.

Dyspraxia is known as a developmental coordination disorder and you might have also heard it referred to in the past as the “clumsy child syndrome”.

Dyspraxia like autism will show up differently in each child from more severe challenges to lesser ones and no two people will struggle with the same symptoms.  Diagnoses of both dyspraxia and autism spectrum disorders should be made only by qualified professionals.  

Early intervention is critical and what is important is that your child gets the therapy they need that focuses on the difficulties they are having right now. 

Have you checked out our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD?

You should see all the training, resources, coaching, and above all, community available inside.

We are an amazing group of women who are all traveling this unique autism parenting journey and we would love you have you join us.

Get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

Pragmatic language by definition is the social skills that we use in our daily interactions with others. This includes conversation skills, the use of non-verbal communication skills, understanding non-literal language, and interpreting and expressing emotions.

Does your child have a difficult time interacting with others? Do they have a hard time starting a conversation or engaging in back and forth conversation? Do they struggle with reading body language or understanding personal space? If so, then I am hopeful that this episode will be helpful.

Whether your child is verbal or not, while the difficulties they face are different, there are still some communication challenges that our non-verbal kiddos have when it comes to pragmatic language. We know that just because a child is considered non-verbal, that does not mean that they don't learn to communicate.

Think about how many unwritten rules our society has that influence our behavior? These are the exact things that make our children’s world so confusing because they don’t just “get it”.

So many opportunities throughout our day are speech opportunities even the smallest tasks. Ask questions, and have them elaborate on things that they say.

It is so important that we focus on bridging the gap in pragmatic language deficits for our children, it can make a huge difference in the way they are able to interact and navigate their world.

Have you checked out our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD?  

You should see all the training, resources, coaching, and above all, community available inside.  

We are an amazing group of women who are all traveling this unique autism parenting journey and we would love you have you join us.  

Get all the details at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

In today's episode I am talking about traveling into the uncharted territory we face when our kids become interested in dating and romantic relationships. This time calls for some BIG conversations, so come on, join me as I dive in.  

Our teenagers develop sexually in the same way as other teens but they have to build the skill-set to navigate it. Like so many other things, it doesn’t come naturally to them.

Studies tell us that people with autism often experience feelings and emotions stronger than those without autism, yet, they are often misunderstood because they don’t exhibit them in the same way neurotypical people do.

When they or someone they are with says NO what does that mean? They need to understand boundaries and respect the other person's boundaries.

What are the qualities that a boyfriend or a girlfriend would like?  Also, talk about what they would like in a boyfriend or girlfriend? What qualities are important to them? What do they think is important in a relationship and why?

They might ask questions, are you prepared?  You should be.  

If you are ready to join an AMAZING SISTERHOOD of women who are all traveling this journey, click the link below for all the details.  

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

How do I know if my child's IEP is good or good enough?  Such a common question.  

Today I am giving you things to consider when assessing your child's IEP.  What are some red flags?  What is and isn't ok?  

Questions to ask so that you understand the goals on your child's IEP and when 80% mastery is not ok.  

I talk about what you should always do and what I don't recommend that you do.  An IEP should be focused on where they are headed and not focused on their deficits right now.  The goal is to give them the services and accommodations to help those lacking skills emerge.  

If you want to learn more about special education be sure to check out all of the benefits available to you when you become Not Your Average Autism Mom.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

Teenage years are hard, without a doubt.  As their dependency on us and our need to care for them and control their world shifts, it can be super uncomfortable for both them and us.

In today's episode, I am talking about the most common things that come up when I am coaching moms of teens or pre-teens.  I am giving you strategies I hope will help you navigate through this time with less resistance from them and for you, less frustration.  

I also talk about parenting from a place of faith and hope instead of from fear.  I see many parents who parent from a place of fear and that is never recommended and in this episode, I talk about what that means and why it isn't effective.  

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

In this episode, I am talking about one of the behaviors that many parents see in their child diagnosed with autism and that is toe walking.  What is toe walking?  What should you do or not do if you are concerned about your child's toe walking?  

Research tells us that as many as 25% of autistic children engage in some form of toe walking.

Toe walking isn’t specific to autism but it is more common in children with autism than other forms of developmental delays.  

If you are looking for a community of amazing women to connect with who are all traveling this same unique autism parenting journey, please be sure to check out our private membership and all of the benefits you get as a member.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com

In this episode, I am talking about a HOT topic in our autism world and one that many people have strong beliefs about one way or another and that is high functioning vs low functioning and functioning labels in general.

The terms high functioning and low functioning while many people don’t agree with them are still being used all too often. I honestly believe that the terms don’t provide an actual clear picture of what the child is capable of or what areas they might excel in.

I believe that they are subjective and always up for interpretation.  What I consider high functioning or low functioning someone else, maybe even you might disagree with, so that is what in my opinion makes labeling high functioning or low functioning inaccurate.

What if instead of relying on labels, we simply focused on what the individual's needs are without having to consider a label or the level of functioning.  I believe if we did that, it would serve our children to the highest level allowing them to live their best life with the support they need.  

If you are looking for a community of amazing women to connect with who are all traveling this same unique autism parenting journey, please be sure to check out our private membership and all of the benefits you get as a member.  

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Join Shannon in this insightful episode of "Not Your Average Autism Mom" as she explores the powerful impact of shifting your focus from negative behaviors to positive ones.

Discover practical strategies that have helped countless families create a more harmonious home environment by celebrating and reinforcing their children's successes.

From documenting daily positives to creating a "Me" book and setting up success moments, Shannon provides real-life examples and expert advice to help you transform your parenting journey.

Tune in to learn how spotlighting the positive can reduce challenging behaviors, boost your child's confidence, and build stronger bonds. Don't miss out on these valuable tips that can make a world of difference for you and your child.

Also, be sure to join us for our FREE WEBINAR, "Finding Strength and Resilience: A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting." Get all the details and register at www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/webinar.

🌟 Leave a Review: 

If this episode resonates with you, share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a review. Your feedback supports the podcast and creates a space for other parents to find inspiration and connection.

Are you registered for our FREE Webinar?

Finding Strength & Resilience; A Mom's Guide to Autism Parenting

REGISTER NOW

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/webinar ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Together, we can overcome challenges and create a brighter future for our families.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed and ready for a change? When you're ready to take control and see different results, check out our private membership at Not Your Average Autism Mom.com

Access exclusive support, training and resources to save you a ton of time, and a community that truly understands. Join us and discover how amazing this journey can be!

⁠⁠https://www.notyouraverageautismmom.com/⁠⁠

Additional Resources:

Join ⁠The Not Your Average Autism Mom Movement⁠ group on FB

If there is a specific topic that you would like us to talk about on the podcast, email us directly at ⁠⁠info@notyouraverageautismmom.com⁠⁠

Have you listened to these episodes yet?

89. Calming Down BIG Emotions

56. Pushing the Boundaries of Routine

I have done many episodes on different areas and important things you need to know about special education, today, I am going to specifically talk about some of the misconceptions parents often have about special education.

The school doesn't develop your child's IEP.  An IEP is developed by a TEAM and it has nothing to do with what is or isn’t available at your child’s school but instead, it has everything to do with what YOUR CHILD’S needs are.

Your child does not have to be in a self-contained classroom if they qualify for Special Education.  Many students with IEPs are in general education classrooms with their peers and they don't ride the "short bus".  

You must determine if the existing goals have been met and the only way you can determine that is by the data AND if the student has not mastered the goals, they should not just be just taken off the IEP and different goals written.

This and so much more in this episode...

If you want to learn more about special education be sure to check out all of the benefits in our Private SISTERHOOD.

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

First of all, it’s important to know that while it’s evident that the rate of diagnosis has significantly increased in recent years, researchers only began tracking autism rates in the year 2000.  For some perspective on the numbers, my son Jordan who is 25 was diagnosed when he was 5 years old and when he was diagnosed, it was 1 in 158 and now, in 2021 that number is 1 in 44.  

That is obviously a HUGE increase, but experts tell us that this rise in numbers is a direct consequence of the increased awareness of autism as well as the changes to the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5 edition which was published in May of 2013.

In this episode, I talk about some of the changes in the DSM-5 as well as a recommendation by the American Academy of Pediatrics which both have likely led to more diagnoses of children who might have otherwise gone undetected.  

There are also variations in the differences in diagnosis from State to State.  Some are significantly higher than 1 in 44 and some are lower but experts remain convinced that this is simply due to how autism is diagnosed and documented in different communities.  

Raising a child or children with autism isn't bad, it isn't terrible, it is just a different and unique parenting journey.  

If this is your journey, accepting it and not resisting it will be the best thing that you can do for your child and for you.  

If you are feeling alone on your journey or maybe you are looking for other moms to connect with who understand your day-to-day challenges, be sure that you check out all of the benefits available to you in our PRIVATE SISTERHOOD.  

www.notyouraverageautismmom.com 

Most of our kids are so rigid with their routines and schedules and breaking that pattern causes a disruption.

So this Sunday, March 13that 2 am we are moving those clocks ahead 1 hour, and that likely means that in your house, you will have an adjustment period, right?  In this episode, I am giving you some tips and suggestions on things that you can do in advance of the clock's changing.  

There is no "secret" to make it any easier.  Their bodies have to adapt and adjust.  

If you or your kids want to know more about Daylight Savings Time or just time in general, someone shared this link with me many years ago and I have kept it because it was so helpful for Jordan and me, to be honest.  

https://blog.littlelives.com/explain-to-kids-daylight-saving-time-76f543ed4104

Just know that you are not alone, there are millions of moms just like you who might be dreading this time, even though, it is only 1-hour.  

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and if you want more information on joining our Private Sisterhood and working with me, click the link below for details

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