Explore every episode of the podcast No Visible Bruises
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| Narcissistic Abuse Caused My Rheumatoid Arthritis | 08 Apr 2025 | 01:08:25 | |
Today marks the launch of our rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, and the long-lasting physiological impact of trauma not just the psychological. In our very first episode, we sit down with Kirstie Haysman, who bravely shares her experience of narcissistic abuse and how it intertwines with her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. This conversation is one not to miss. We explore: • How chronic conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, IBS and others can be linked to the trauma of relational abuse • What happens in the body when we are exposed to long-term stress and emotional abuse • How healing is possible when we understand the connection between the nervous system and our physical health • The importance of working with the body, not against it If you’ve ever wondered whether your chronic symptoms could be connected to your past and present experiences of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse & coercive control… If you’ve ever felt unseen in your pain… If you’ve ever questioned the invisible impact of emotional abuse… This episode is for you. Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and join us in shining a light on what’s been hidden for far too long. Do not suffer alone and come and join my private FREE Facebook group - No Visible Bruises- Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available. | |||
| A Survivor's Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse | 01 Apr 2025 | 00:16:40 | |
Can you imagine the hidden wounds left by a narcissist's mind games? My journey shows how abuse hurts more than just the heart. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse you often feel stuck, thinking your pain defines you, but real strength comes from understanding how trauma lives in the body. By learning new ways to heal, like body-based therapy and nervous system support, people can rebuild their lives. The path from hurt to healing isn't quick, but it's about taking small, kind steps forward. Each victory whether earning your own money, finding a new career, or feeling stronger inside proves how tough you can be. As a survivor you aren't trapped by what happened to you, but powered by your courage to create a new story and turn deep pain into real hope and growth. 0:00 Final Week of Trauma and Narcissism Redefined Podcast 2:41 Introduction to the New Facebook Community 5:39 Personal Story and Struggles 12:04 Journey to Financial Independence 14:42 Final Thoughts and Future Plans Podcast Resources:
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| Over Explaining & Narcissistic Abuse | 28 Jan 2025 | 00:15:03 | |
Are you an over-explainer? Do you find yourself constantly justifying your actions or decisions, even for the simplest of requests? This could be a lingering effect of narcissistic abuse. If you have experienced this type of trauma you will often develop a habit of over-explaining as a defence mechanism. It's a way to protect yourself from the perceived judgment or disapproval of others. However, this behaviour can be exhausting and ultimately undermine your self-confidence. Breaking free from the cycle of over-explanation requires acknowledging the root cause - the core emotional wounds that stem from narcissistic abuse. By recognising this pattern and consciously choosing to respond with clarity and self-assurance, you can reclaim your power and build healthier relationships. The journey may not be easy, but the rewards of self-acceptance and authentic communication are well worth the effort.
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| Surfing The Urge To Respond To The Narcissist | 09 May 2023 | 00:22:05 | |
We have the power to either let our urges define us or to harness them to become stronger and wiser. Learning how to manage our impulses is crucial in all areas of life, especially when it comes to dealing with a narcissist. In this episode, I will share with you a positive psychology intervention that has helped me become less impulsive and that can help you too. What you will learn in this episode:
I'll show you how recognizing the value of resisting your urges and challenging your mindset can lead to rapid improvements in your life. This intervention will not only help you deal with a narcissist but can also benefit you in other areas such as avoiding unhealthy habits like overeating, procrastination, and impulsive shopping. Save this episode for future use and use the meditation to help you navigate your future urges with ease. Resources:
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| Are You A SELF Abandoning Codependent? | 02 May 2023 | 00:14:24 | |
To become your own rescuer is the ultimate gift you can give yourself. In this episode, I'll share my personal experience of realizing this truth during my own healing journey. I’m sure that if I had known this earlier, my healing process would have been much quicker. What you will learn in this episode: • The importance of rescuing yourself and taking control of your own happiness. • The negative consequences of solely relying on others to fulfill your happiness and sense of self-worth. • How to empower yourself and prioritise self-love and care I'll delve into how putting my happiness into the hands of others for decades led to a loss of self-worth. While helping and being kind to others absolutely brings me joy, I've come to understand that my own happiness cannot solely depend on the actions of others. My desire to please others had built up anger and resentment inside me, which is common in narcissistic relationships. I hope this episode serves as a catalyst in your own healing journey, guiding you towards realizing the importance of rescuing yourself. Resources: • Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse • Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse • Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ • Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson • My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| The Hidden Dangers Of A Narcissistic Friend | 25 Apr 2023 | 00:24:10 | |
In my past episodes, I have often discussed how narcissists can manifest as spouses, but it's important to note that they can appear in various other forms, such as bosses, parents, and even friends, which is the topic of this episode. I will be sharing my personal experience of how I unknowingly fell into the trap of a narcissistic friend shortly after my ex-husband left me. It's interesting to note that just as one narcissist left my life, another entered it. What you will learn in this episode:
Narcissistic abuse can serve as an alarm clock that awakens you to things you may have never seen before, such as being exploited by others during that period. Through this episode, I aim to underscore the significance of having a support system following narcissistic abuse while also being wary of falling prey to another narcissist. I will delve into how to navigate friendships in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and ensure that the people around you have your best interests at heart. Resources:
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| Judgement From Others And Narcissistic Abuse | 18 Apr 2023 | 00:18:12 | |
Receiving judgement from others about the narcissistic abuse you have experienced is unfortunately common, and it can be emotionally draining to try to explain yourself to people who may not understand the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship. Narcissistic abusers often manipulate and gaslight their victims, causing them to behave in ways that may seem unnatural in a healthy relationship. This can make it challenging to communicate to others what happened and how it feels to be judged for it. In this episode, I will share strategies to effectively communicate your experience in narcissistic relationships and navigate the judgment from others with empathy and self-care in mind. What you will learn in this episode:
FREE MASTERCLASS - The Psychology Of A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/psychology-of-a-narcissist-masterclass To highlight the challenges of judgment and gaslighting in narcissistic abuse, I'll share a story in this episode about my ex-husband, who worked as an air steward, and went missing for over 8 hours after I expected him home. When he finally returned, he spun a fabricated story about saving a life to deflect from his absence. He used this to gaslight me, making me feel like I was the problem for being worried. It left me feeling confused and invalidated, a stark reminder of how narcissistic abusers distort reality and avoid accountability, leaving their victims dismissed. Resources:
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| What If I Am The Narcissist, Not Them?! | 11 Apr 2023 | 00:14:21 | |
Many of us have asked ourselves, 'Am I the narcissist?' If you're questioning your own behavior, it's unlikely that you are a narcissist. However, understanding why you may feel this way and why a true narcissist would never ask this question can shed light on the situation, and that’s what I’m going to discuss in this episode. What you will learn in this episode:
Gaslighting can make us believe that we're the narcissist in a relationship, especially when we're in a state of freeze due to narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll share strategies and mindsets to avoid falling into this trap and offer guidance for handling gaslighting. To better understand the behavior of narcissists, it's also helpful to explore how they develop in childhood, particularly if they were raised as golden children, and I hope this insight into their upbringing will help you understand that you’re not the narcissist. Resources:
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| Auto Immune Disorders & Narcissistic Abuse | 04 Apr 2023 | 00:17:57 | |
There is a growing body of evidence that suggests a link between narcissistic abuse and various autoimmune disorders, such as fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and various inflammatory issues. Upon closer examination of the onset of these physical ailments, a correlation with the traumatic experiences of narcissistic abuse often arises. In this episode, I explore how our bodies utilize physical pain as a coping mechanism to divert our attention from the abuse we are enduring. What you will learn in this episode:
Additionally, I will share my personal experience with how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped me understand that my mother's rheumatoid arthritis was likely a result of her own traumatic experiences. My ultimate goal of this episode is to empower you to identify the underlying causes of your pain so that you can begin to heal from within, rather than relying solely on medication or resigning yourself to a lifetime of suffering. It is my hope that this episode will serve as a helpful resource in this journey towards healing. Resources:
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| Narcissistic Abuse IS Domestic Abuse | 28 Mar 2023 | 00:17:17 | |
In this episode, I dive into the word "narcissist" and why it's such a hot topic. It can be tough to talk about our experiences with narcissistic abuse because some people may shrug it off and say we're unfairly labelling someone. I'll explore why this is the case and how it impacts those of us who are suffering. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll discuss the official process of diagnosing someone with narcissistic personality disorder and why it's severely flawed. It's essential to note that just because someone isn't diagnosed with NPD it doesn't mean they can't still exhibit abusive behavior. Abuse is abuse, and it's never okay. Whether your partner has been diagnosed or not, it's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. Even if those around you don't believe you, know that your experience is valid, and you deserve to be safe. I hope this episode will provide insight and support for those of you who may be struggling with narcissistic abuse. Resources:
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| Trauma Bonding & The Addiction To A Narcissist | 21 Mar 2023 | 00:14:56 | |
In this episode, I discuss trauma bonding and what it is. Trauma bonding can be difficult to break, and many people do not understand what a trauma bond is. I talk about how I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist and how I would say things to myself like "is there something wrong with me?" I was a people pleaser and a "good person" who thought I needed everyone else to show me my worth. We end up attracting people like narcissists when we place our worth in someone's hands and we may feel good at some stages in the relationship, but eventually, things start to feel heavy. What you will learn in this episode:
Now if you’re reading this before Thursday, the 23rd of March, 2023, you’ll have time to join my FREE Masterclass called Breaking The Trauma Bond To A Narcissist. I'm going to be showing you all about what trauma bonding is. From what is a trauma bond, what happens in your brain and your body when we are trauma bonded to a narcissist, to of course the question we all want answered, how do you break it? You can find all the details to this FREE masterclass here: https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond Resources:
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| Generational Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse | 14 Mar 2023 | 00:23:21 | |
Today I’m going to explore the concept of generational trauma and how it can affect your response to traumatic events. I’ll explain the difference between intergenerational trauma and transgenerational trauma, and how the former refers to the projection of trauma from past generations onto the present, while the latter is the literal passing down of trauma at a cellular level. I also discuss my work with Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems and how these tools can look at the experience of the body whilst we are going through life, and allow us to redefine our experience of what has happened in our life, as we can never change what has happened to us in the past, but what we can do is change our experience of it. What you will learn in this episode:
Generational trauma has a huge impact on your body's response to current trauma and so I’ll explain the different trauma responses that you may experience, such as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one of these responses may come up depending on how generational trauma has impacted you. It’s so important to recognize the body's natural response to danger and trauma and how it can affect your ability to cope with abusive relationships, so I hope this episode helps you in your current situation and also helps you prepare for how you can handle trauma in the future. Resources:
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| Being An Empath & Narcissistic Abuse | 07 Mar 2023 | 00:27:57 | |
Today I’m going to be discussing the topic of being an empath and what that means. I’ll explore the difference between being an empath and being empathic, what a co-dependent is, and how to recover from co-dependency. I’ll also discuss the negative side effects of being an empath, from how it can attract abuse from narcissists, how it causes you to take on the pain of others and how this can all lead to physical ailments. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll share strategies for empaths to move from being exhausted to empowered, what you can do to separate the pain of others from your own, and how to reduce physical issues like inflammation and swelling. By sharing my personal journey, I hope to provide you with the resources and strategies you need to live your best life as an empath or co-dependent. I know that sometimes it may seem like you’ll always be stuck in a downward spiral, but I’m going to make sure you have the tools to not only recover but to also live a better life going forward. Resources:
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| The Cheating Narcissist | 21 Jan 2025 | 00:15:03 | |
Have you been cheated on? I have and I want to help you. The devastating impact of narcissistic abuse hidden behind the veil of cheating is a calculated tactic used by narcissists to wear down their partner's self-worth, isolate them, and maintain control. This form of emotional and psychological abuse often goes unrecognized, leaving victims feeling responsible for their partner's actions. My personal experience with a cheating narcissist is a reminder that cheating is not just a "mistake" but can be a manifestation of a deeper pattern of manipulation and coercive control. By shedding light on this complex issue, I want to empower you to break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse and reclaim your sense of self-worth. 0:00 Introduction 2:50 The Impact of Cheating on Self-Worth 6:23 Personal Experiences with Cheating 11:24 Understanding Psychological and Emotional Abuse 14:15 The Role of Cheating in Manipulation 14:27 Encouraging Listeners to Seek Support
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| Covert Narcissism 101 | 28 Feb 2023 | 00:17:34 | |
In today's episode, I want to bring your attention to a particularly perilous type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. Typically, we associate narcissism with individuals who are extremely extroverted and crave attention, often commanding the room's focus. However, it's crucial to note that not all extroverted people are narcissistic - this is far from the truth. The issue with covert narcissists is that they operate under the radar, making them much more difficult to detect until it's too late and you've become entangled with them. Once the relationship is established, the narcissistic abuse begins. In this episode, I'll be examining the ways in which you can spot a covert narcissist, their tactics for achieving their goals, and how to steer clear of them. What you will learn in this episode:
Knowing the various ways in which a covert narcissist behaves can help you identify them before it's too late. One of the tell-tale signs is their tendency to play the victim, refusing to take responsibility and instead blaming external factors for their situation. This behaviour is a major red flag in the early stages of a relationship with a covert narcissist. Another tactic they employ is making you feel guilty, often through expert manipulation techniques like gaslighting. They may convince you that you're solely responsible for the relationship's problems, leading you to believe that you're the one at fault. To illustrate these behaviours in real-world scenarios, I'll be sharing my own experiences with my covert narcissistic ex-husband and the warning signs I missed, as well as offering advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes. Resources:
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| Financial Empowerment When Divorcing A Narcissist | 21 Feb 2023 | 00:35:25 | |
Today, I will be delving into the financial dimension of divorce with Rhonda Noordyk. Rhonda Noordyk, a CDFA® certified professional, specializes in guiding women through the financial complexities of divorce. She has made a name for herself by trailblazing new strategies that empower women to navigate the financial aspects of divorce with confidence. Rhonda's expertise as a financial strategist helps her clients make informed decisions and determine their best financial options going forward. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
During this discussion, Rhonda and I explore the roots of her passion for empowering women, tracing back to her childhood, 12 years in the financial industry, and experience in higher education. We delve into the unfortunate reality that many women remain in abusive relationships due to their financial circumstances. Rhonda provides invaluable insight into why it is crucial to leave an abusive relationship regardless of your finances and how you can do so. Don't miss the conclusion where Rhonda offers guidance on what steps to take if you feel trapped, scared, and uncertain about your financial situation before initiating a divorce. Connect with Rhonda:
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| Valentines Day Tactics By A Narcissist | 14 Feb 2023 | 00:17:51 | |
So today is Valentine's Day, and unfortunately, this can be a difficult day for those who have suffered from narcissistic abuse. While this day is meant to celebrate love, a narcissist can use it as a tool to hurt and manipulate. In this episode, I'll share strategies to help you manage the emotions you may experience on valentines day, advice on healing post-narcissistic trauma, and ways to love yourself on this special day. Also, you may have noticed a slight change in the podcast title. I have decided to include the word "abuse" in the title of the podcast again since it cannot be changed that we have suffered abuse. However, we can work on healing from the trauma caused by the abuse. By acknowledging that we have been abused and not shying away from that word, we can make progress in our trauma recovery. What you will learn in this episode:
On these special days of the year, such as valentines day, the narcissist can disappear, and this happened to me. I’ll share my story of how my partner disappeared before we were supposed to go on an exciting camping trip with my children. I’ll discuss how my ex used this opportunity to ruin a holiday to exert control over me and my children, and how you can avoid the same thing happening to you. On Valentine’s day especially, believing that you are lovable can be difficult, but it is important to remember how special and unique you are. So today I want you to practice self-care and do something that makes you feel good. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself, and show yourself some kindness. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you deserve to be celebrated on this special day. Resources:
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| How To Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances | 07 Feb 2023 | 00:33:54 | |
Today I am speaking with Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson, the co-founders of Been There Got Out. Lisa is a high-conflict divorce coach and a certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself in numerous court cases. Chris, who developed the Been There Got Out podcast and manages the website and technology, is a certified high-conflict divorce coach specializing in writing high-conflict parenting plans. Both Chris and Lisa have personal experience with costly divorces, totalling over $400,000, which inspired them to coach individuals facing high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting challenges. Their goal is to help these individuals achieve the best possible outcome in family court and beyond. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
In this episode, Chris and Lisa delve into what to do during a divorce. They discuss putting together a plan, keeping children safe, building a legal team, comprehending the legal system, and anticipating the other party's actions to prepare for any potential challenges. They also touch on the support and guidance they offer through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, their social media community, and their upcoming book, "Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances." Their aim is to assist individuals facing these difficult circumstances in avoiding common mistakes and achieving the best possible outcome with minimal impact on themselves and their children. Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out Connect with Lisa & Chris:
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| Chronic Pain & Narcissistic Abuse | 31 Jan 2023 | 00:15:12 | |
If you're experiencing physical pain, chronic illness, or fatigue, and you've suffered from narcissistic abuse, it's possible that your trauma is the root cause of these physical symptoms. In this episode, I'll discuss the connection between abuse and physical reactions, including how even mental abuse can lead to physical pain. Many individuals view chronic illness and narcissistic abuse as separate entities, but they often go hand in hand. To fully heal from chronic illness, it's necessary to address and heal from the narcissistic abuse as well. What you will learn in this episode:
I have observed a strong link between narcissistic abuse and chronic illness not only in the communities I serve but also in my own family. I'll share my mother's story of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and her lifelong struggle with it, and how I've come to understand that her arthritis was her body's way of protecting her from the inner pain caused by childhood abuse. I'll also delve into the connection between abuse and physical ailments such as alopecia, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and IBS, and how cortisol can contribute to the development of these conditions. Resources:
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| Stepping Into Post Traumatic Growth After Narcissistic Abuse | 24 Jan 2023 | 00:13:40 | |
Today, I am SO excited to share with you a way to heal from narcissistic abuse, and at the same time help people who are struggling with the same situation. My passion is to assist people like you in overcoming the trauma of narcissistic abuse. As someone who has experienced this, I understand the difficulties of retraining the mind to move past the trauma. So, my aim is to share my knowledge and techniques with you, to aid in your personal healing journey, and to equip you with the tools to support and assist others facing similar struggles. Together, we can break the cycle of trauma and pave the way for a transformative path of healing and growth. What you will learn in this episode:
Listen in to learn how you can become a part of the world's only accredited coaching certification program that specializes in narcissistic abuse, where you’ll be able to transform your pain into a purposeful career by becoming an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach. You can learn more by visiting this page: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic Resources:
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| The Paradox Of Comedy & Narcissistic Abuse | 17 Jan 2023 | 00:31:03 | |
Christa Cusack is a writer and coach who specializes in navigating the complex and challenging landscape of high-conflict narcissistic divorce. Christa has personally faced the struggles of post-separation abuse, but has found ways to cope and heal through the use of comedy writing, somatic work, self-hypnosis, reiki, and her own narcissism-informed coaching tools and methods. She has channelled her experiences into creating helpful resources such as card decks and journals, as well as books and screenplays, all with the goal of supporting and helping others in similar situations. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
In this episode, Christa delves into how she discovered the true nature of her relationship with her partner after leaving, and how she used her own intuition to navigate the trauma she faced. We'll also discuss the common tendency to keep ourselves "busy" as a means of avoiding our own intuition and how to avoid falling into that trap. Christa will also share the steps she took to rebuild her life in her 40's after experiencing the trauma of narcissistic abuse, physical illness, and post-traumatic stress. Connect with Christa:
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| How Narcissistic Abuse Affects Getting Started In 2023 | 10 Jan 2023 | 00:19:47 | |
At this time of year, it's common to feel discouraged if we haven't made progress on our goals. Even though we may want to take action, something within us may be holding us back. In this episode, we'll explore the internal barriers that prevent us from reaching our goals and provide strategies for overcoming them and building momentum. What you will learn in this episode:
Ten years ago, I was trapped in narcissistic abuse and felt like there was no way out. But now, I know that it's possible to have an amazing life after recovery. One of the things that helped me get on the path to recovery was learning to listen to my mind and body. We all have different parts of ourselves - some that want to stay in, others that want to go out. Some parts that make us feel disgusted with ourselves and others that love us. It's important to understand why we have these different parts of ourselves, because even the "bad" parts are there with loving intent. In this episode, I'll share how to read the "bad" parts and see how they're trying to protect you, as well as how to make sure the "good" parts are with you more often. Resources:
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| New Year, New You, No Narcissist | 03 Jan 2023 | 00:13:21 | |
Welcome to the start of a new year and a new beginning! In this episode, I’m focusing on how to kickstart your journey to a happier and healthier 2023. We know that time alone doesn't heal all wounds, so I’m going to be sharing a bottom-up approach to healing that empowers you to take control of your own recovery. You'll learn about the most powerful methods of self-healing and some tools and tactics to help you on your journey. What you will learn in this episode:
If you’re ready to start the new year off on the right foot and leave the narcissist behind, join me for a 3-Day FREE New Year, New You, No Narcissist Bootcamp starting on January 9th! During this Bootcamp, I'll be sharing my post-traumatic growth trifecta and my trauma-informed practice with positive psychology to help you not just survive, but thrive. We'll be exploring exercises, tools, and tactics to help you get 2023 off to a great start so you can step into post-traumatic growth. Sign up now at https://carolinestrawson.com/bootcamp and let's start this new year together! Resources:
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| Covert Narcissistic Abuse And A Broken Court System | 20 Dec 2022 | 00:35:53 | |
Today we are joined by Houa Utech, a Trauma-Informed Coach and advocate who specializes in working with women recovering from betrayal trauma, covert narcissistic abuse, divorce, and post-separation abuse. Houa has a background in social work and has spent time volunteering in domestic violence shelters, but it wasn't until she experienced abuse in her own relationship that she fully understood the impact of this type of abuse. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
Houa has made it her mission to bring awareness, education, and healing resources to individuals, families, organizations, and communities, as she believes that abuse and trauma are often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and disregarded. We’ll also delve into the flawed family court system and the efforts being made by Houa, based on her personal experience, to support those navigating this process. Houa will have her own podcast soon, This Emboldened Life, which aims to offer education, resources, survivor stories, and a sense of community for women who have experienced covert narcissistic abuse, betrayal trauma, and abuse by professionals in the family court system. Connect with Houa:
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| The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle | 14 Jan 2025 | 00:17:20 | |
Have you been through the narcissistic abuse cycle? The insidious pattern of love bombing, devaluation, and hoovering can leave you feeling trapped, questioning your own sanity. Caught in the web of this toxic dynamic, the trauma bond becomes a physiological addiction. Your body craves the dopamine highs and cortisol rushes, even as your mind yearns for peace. But know this: the fault lies not with you, but with the manipulative tactics of the narcissist. Recognising the patterns of this cycle is the first step towards reclaiming your power. Through intentional self-care and somatic healing, you can break free from the narcissistic abuse and rediscover your true, authentic self. The journey may be arduous, but the rewards of liberation and self-love are worth the effort. Take that first brave step towards a life free from the narcissist's control. 0:00 Understanding Narcissistic Behavior 1:27 Caroline Strawson's Journey and Mission 2:29 Challenges of Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship 5:42 The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Love Bombing 8:49 The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Devaluation 11:14 The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Hoovering 13:19 Breaking the Trauma Bond 15:44 The Role of Somatic Healing in Trauma Recovery 17:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Podcast Resources:
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| Coping With Narcissistic Abuse Whilst Being A Special Needs Parent | 13 Dec 2022 | 00:41:49 | |
In this episode, we are joined by Andrea Humeniuk, a narcissistic abuse specialist who helps women recover and thrive after narcissistic trauma and domestic abuse. Andrea shares her own story of dealing with narcissistic abuse and being the parent of a special needs child. She offers guidance and support to other women who have experienced similar trauma, helping them build resilience and find a life they never thought was possible. I hope my discussion with Andrea helps you on your own journey to recovery. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
Andrea also emphasizes the importance of trusting your intuition and not blaming yourself for the actions of others, especially narcissists. Additionally, she discusses the struggles parents of special needs children often face and offers advice for those in similar situations. I strongly suggest connecting with Andrea if you are currently dealing with narcissistic abuse, trying to recover from trauma, or are on the journey of raising a child with special needs. Connect with Andrea:
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| Q and As & CELEBRATION TIME 3 Million Downloads!! | 06 Dec 2022 | 00:21:17 | |
Welcome back to the podcast! Before we dive into the Q & A section, I want to give you all a HUGE thank you, we just passed 3 million downloads for the podcast and I’m so grateful for every single one of you. My main purpose in life is to help and support those of you who are suffering from narcissistic abuse and help you heal, so I’m grateful that this podcast has reached so many people and I hope it’s helped some of you! But as it’s the first Tuesday of the month, it’s this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In the AMA section, I have decided to focus on one question, as I believe it’s so important that it needs a whole episode to discuss it. That question is “How do I move forward with my life? I just feel so numb.” What you’ll learn in this episode:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| The Complexities of Being A Muslim Woman With A Trauma History | 22 Nov 2022 | 00:31:23 | |
Noshiela Maqsood is a mum of 5 children. She is a 3× best selling author, Master Coach, and NLP Trainer. She empowers Muslim women to heal their inner wounds and become generational change-makers. Escaping a prison sentence taught her about her self-worth, boundaries, and how much she needed to make her mental and emotional well-being a priority. She quit being a people pleaser and started saying yes to herself! After her own healing journey, overcoming depression and anxiety, she committed herself to helping women find the light within themselves. She has helped women around the world heal their inner wounds and has helped many start their own coaching businesses. She is determined to spread her message of empowering women far and wide. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
Noshiela is in my high-performance healing mastermind and her mission is so powerful that I knew I had to have her on the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how Muslim women are treated in their culture and how it leads to many women having trauma, and what Noshiela is doing to change this. We’ll learn about Noshiela’s upbringing and how it influences her life today and how the Muslim family environment influenced Noshiela’s view on the world and on her own healing. We’ll also discuss how our own self-talk can determine our own beliefs and how to get out of a negative mindset and into a recovery and healing mindset. Connect with Noshiela:
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| Tina Swithin: One Mom’s Battle | 15 Nov 2022 | 00:39:38 | |
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and are looking to leave and go through the family court system or you’re currently in that court system, you MUST listen to this episode. Today's guest is Tina Swithin. Tina is the author of Divorcing a Narcissist (4-part series), founder of One Mom’s Battle, and creator of Family Court Awareness Month. She is also a founding member of the National Safe Parents Organization. Tina Swithin acted as her own attorney in a custody case that spanned six years and during this time, her children were repeatedly placed in harm's way. Tina was successful in terminating her ex-husband’s parental rights and while she is considered one of the “lucky ones,” however, for anyone to hear her story and deem her as lucky speaks volumes about the brokenness of the system. Tina works to raise awareness of the issues in the family court system and to educate the general public on post-separation abuse and narcissistic abuse. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
You’ll hear Tina’s story of her experience with a narcissistic partner and the hurdles she had to jump over to go through the family court system, which has now led her to become an advocate for bringing awareness to post-separation abuse and the broken family court system. I decided to release this episode in the month of November, as November is Family Court Awareness Month, a movement that Tina created to shine a light on how broken court systems are around the world. Connect with Tina and learn more about bringing awareness to the broken court system:
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| Brainspotting, Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Healing | 08 Nov 2022 | 01:06:11 | |
I’m SO excited to welcome Dr. Mark Grixti onto the show this week to discuss what Brainspotting is and how it has helped people heal from narcissistic abuse and trauma. Mark is a psychologist, author, fellow podcast host, and the head of Brainspotting UK. Mark and I work collaboratively on my trauma-informed & narcissistic trauma-informed certifications where Mark does an internal Brainspotting training with us. I can’t wait for you to listen to this episode as I truly believe that Brainspotting and the work it does can help hundreds of thousands of people dealing with trauma. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
In this episode, we discuss everything from what exactly Brainspotting is, why it’s a great treatment for trauma, and how Mark uses it in his practice, to how our brains have the capacity to heal built in and how we can tap into that natural response. Mark will go into detail about how Brainspotting uses our visual systems as a method of healing and why we need to stop suppressing our emotions and start expressing them. Near the end of the episode, we do a deep dive into how important relationships are, whether family, friends, or partners. We’ll discover the physiological epigenetic responses we gain from relationships and how to nurture healthy connections with others. Connect with Mark:
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| Ask Me Anything: November ‘22 | 01 Nov 2022 | 00:29:27 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In the AMA section of this episode, I discuss topics ranging from discovering a more definitive way of diagnosing a narcissist to how trauma can build up and eventually turn a person into a narcissist. I’ll also discuss why a narcissist will never apologise and take ownership of their actions and my stories of how my narcissistic ex-husband gained narcissistic supply by showing fake empathy. If you’re listening to this at the start of November ‘22, make sure you join my FREE "Inside The Mindset of a Narcissist" Masterclass on Sunday, 6th November! You can sign up here: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/masterclass Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| Stepping Out of Financial Abuse and into Freedom with Heather Black | 25 Oct 2022 | 00:45:11 | |
In this episode, I talk to Heather Black who is in my High-Performance Healing Mastermind and is passionate about helping parents get back into the workplace so they can parent with flexibility and create a new, lucrative career for themselves. When I left my narcissistic partner, I had suffered from financial abuse, and as a result, I lost my house and was severely in debt. If you are feeling stuck, have been financially abused, and feel like there is no way out of your financial situation like I once did, this episode is a must-listen. What you will learn in this episode:
Heather is the founder and CEO of Supermums. She is the mum of two gorgeous little girls and lives by the sea in East Sussex whilst working remotely. In 2010 she became an accidental Salesforce admin for her non-profit and loved it so much that she decided to upskill as a Salesforce Consultant in 2012 helping other non-profits to implement a CRM. She realised her career path could work for other mothers so she launched Supermums in 2016 to bring more women into the sector. As a consultant, she has overseen over 700 Salesforce projects and now enjoys upskilling talent in Salesforce consultancy and coaching skills. Connect with Heather:
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| Does the Narcissist Call You a Narcissist? | 18 Oct 2022 | 00:17:21 | |
Have you ever wondered if you’re the narcissist in the relationship? If so, this episode will put an end to those thoughts. There are subtle differences between having a narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits, in this episode I’ll explain the behaviours of these two types of people and what actually makes a person a narcissist. I also want to say a quick shout-out to all of you who came to my Unseen Wounds of Women event last week. You all made it such a special event for me, I’m so grateful for all of you. What you will learn in this episode:
It isn’t uncommon for people to mirror the behaviour of a narcissist to soften the abuse, and due to this it’s sometimes hard to see which person is the narcissist at first, but with a little digging, it’s easy to see who the REAL narcissist is. I hope this episode provides you with the tools to find the right people to help you grow and how to let go of the “friends” that are keeping you stuck. Resources:
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| Helping YOU Step Into Post-Traumatic Growth with Kim Pontarelli | 11 Oct 2022 | 00:34:03 | |
In this episode, I interview Kim Pontarelli, one of my trained Trauma Informed Coaches who specialises in covert narcissism, helping women step into post-traumatic growth. In this episode, Kim discusses how she has turned her own pain and struggle into her purpose and her strength. Kim also shares with us what post-traumatic growth is and how to take responsibility for your life going forward whilst stopping yourself from blaming yourself for the past. What you will learn in this episode:
Tune in to the end to hear Kim share what it’s like to be in the dark, and why you need to know that you can get out of it! Kim knows that you can thrive, as she is now living a meaningful life and for the first time ever, she feels like she is actually living. Finally, Kim also discusses what reactive abuse is, and how you can work on yourself to stop reacting negatively, but also not blaming yourself if you do lash out. Connect with Kim:
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| Ask Me Anything: October ‘22 | 04 Oct 2022 | 00:36:04 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! Firstly, I want to express how grateful I am to all of you who’ve supported my new book and the brave women who shared their stories in it. In the AMA section of this episode, I discuss topics ranging from feeling so stuck that it seems there’s no way forward to why your children are starting to replicate the narcissistic behaviours of your ex. I’ll also discuss how to get over the fear of dating again and how to be intentional with your healing so that you can recover from narcissistic abuse quicker and stronger. Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| Narcissistic Abuse In 2025 | 07 Jan 2025 | 00:19:23 | |
Ready to leave the narcissist's toxicity behind? It's time to take back control in 2025. This year, make the bold decision to leave the narcissist in the past. Reclaim your power and your peace of mind. No more walking on eggshells or anticipating their next outburst. Embrace a future free from the narcissist's manipulation and abuse. Healing is within your reach. By tuning into your body's signals and allowing yourself to fully feel and process your emotions, you can break the cycle. Discover the transformative power of somatic practices that calm the nervous system and restore your wellbeing. Don't wait another day. Take the first step towards a life unburdened by the narcissist's influence. You deserve to thrive, not just survive. This is your year to break free and create the fulfilling, authentic life you desire. Free Workshop - The 3 Stages Of Healing Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/three-stages-of-trauma 0:00 Navigating the Year Ahead with Narcissistic Abuse 2:01 Personal Update and Office Move 4:03 The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on the Body 8:48 Navigating Emotions and Healing 11:30 Upcoming Masterclass and Support 13:56 Commitment to Healing in 2025 Podcast Resources:
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| The Unseen Wounds of Women After Narcissistic Abuse | 27 Sep 2022 | 00:22:26 | |
I am so excited to share with you some BIG NEWS! I have a new book out called The Unseen Wounds of Women. and I can’t wait for you to get your hands on it. So, in this episode, I’ll share with you why I wrote the book and what I hope it can do for you in your path to recovery from trauma. You can find The Unseen Wounds of Women here: https://bit.ly/unseenwoundsofwomen What you will learn in this episode:
My new book is about the women who dared to be vulnerable and shared how they allowed the unseen to be visible and realised that they held the key to their invisible cage. Healing their unseen wounds not only healed themselves, but it broke the generational cycle of trauma. Each chapter is a story from a woman in my Embodied Self Leadership Mastermind, and the first chapter is my story. My hope is that you can take these stories and see that no matter how dark the place you’re currently in is, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, you just may need to be pointed in the right direction first. To celebrate the release of my new book, I’m running a competition where YOU could win a FREE spot on my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme. All you have to do is:
The competition runs until Friday the 30th of September 2022 10 pm UK time and the winners will be announced on Monday the 3rd of October via direct message to win one of the 10 places on the Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme. Resources:
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| Narcissistic Relationships, Trauma & Polyvagal Theory | 20 Sep 2022 | 00:20:27 | |
Do you ever wonder why you react in the way you do and wish that you had a positive response instead of what always seems to be a negative response? If so, tune in, as in this episode I’ll break down Polyvagal Theory and how it teaches us how and why our responses are often automatic. By knowing how our nervous system controls our responses, we can start to point ourselves in the direction of growth by integrating a recovery programme that can change how we feel for the better. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll also discuss how you can use the traffic light system to define where you are in your trauma recovery. At the end of the day, I want you to know how you can turn your pain into your purpose, and by learning more about your nervous system, you’ll be able to create a recovery plan to influence how your nervous system can help you for the better. If you want to learn about these topics on a much greater scale, you can check out my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme here: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Resources:
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| Survivor Stories: Sarada Rao | 13 Sep 2022 | 00:43:05 | |
In this Survivor Stories episode, you’ll meet Sarada Rao, a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor and one of my students in my Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification who is driven to help women from the South Asian Community. We’ll discover how Sarada is turning her pain and struggle into her purpose and strength to help women from the South East Asian community to recognise narcissistic abuse and recover from it. What you will learn in this episode:
Sarada discusses how she discovered what narcissism is after a childhood of narcissistic abuse from her parents which led to an arranged marriage with a narcissist. Then throughout the episode, we’ll see where Sarada is now, so that women, especially those from the South East Asian community, can see what the light at the end of the tunnel can look like in terms of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Connect with Sarada:
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| Ask Me Anything: September ‘22 | 06 Sep 2022 | 00:23:21 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why you may be struggling to find the energy to exercise because of a trauma response, to the number #1 thing that you can do to get back into dating. I’ll also discuss how to stop your children from developing narcissistic behaviours when they spend time with your narcissistic ex-partner and if a narcissist can actually be cured. Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| What a Narcissist Looks for in a Partner | 30 Aug 2022 | 00:17:12 | |
Have you left a narcissist and want to get back into dating, but are now scared you may fall into a relationship with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. Dating can be hard for anyone, but it’s particularly difficult, and even traumatic, for those of us who have been in a narcissistic relationship. In this episode, I’ll help you rediscover your confidence to start dating again by showing you what a narcissist looks for in a partner, so you can avoid those “attractive to a narcissist” behaviours. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll also discuss how there are many types of narcissists, from covert to overt, grandiose to vulnerable, as it’s important to recognise what type of narcissists are out there to improve your chances of avoiding them. I hope that with the information in this episode, you can move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth and find yourself in a happy and functional relationship going forward. Resources:
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| 5 Signs of Love Bombing From A Narcissist | 23 Aug 2022 | 00:16:23 | |
Have you been in a narcissistic relationship and are now scared to jump back into the dating scene for fears of ending up with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. By getting back into dating, we further our path to recovery, so it’s important to prepare ourselves for dating and to avoid falling into a narcissist's trap. One of the ways to avoid narcissists is to understand how they use love bombing to entice you into a relationship. What you will learn in this episode:
We must remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! There is hope. We may date some more narcissists along the way, but I hope with the information in this episode you can avoid them and end up growing into a great relationship. Resources:
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| Survivor Stories: Enmeshment To Empowerment From A Narcissistic Mother | 16 Aug 2022 | 00:30:35 | |
In today’s episode, I hear Aneela Mehkri’s story of how she knew that something was always wrong with her mum, but she didn’t know it was Narcissism until she was 30. We’ll learn how a household of dysfunction, arguments, and fights led to Aneela discovering what narcissism is and how it impacted her life emotionally, mentally, and physically. What you will learn in this episode:
Aneela discusses how her mother and the culture in Pakistan caused her to have insecurity growing up by teaching her to not discuss what was happening inside her household with other families and friends. We’ll then learn how Aneela got on the pathway to recovery from her mother's narcissism and the wounds it caused, and how she is now helping others heal from narcissistic abuse with her work as a Humanistic Integrative Therapist. Connect with Aneela: Resources:
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| Body Shaming & Narcissistic Abuse | 09 Aug 2022 | 00:23:26 | |
Have you ever said to yourself “I feel so stupid… I’m so fat… I’m so ugly?” If so, you’re not alone. I used to say those words to myself all the time, I felt disgusted at myself and I definitely didn’t want to look at my body in the mirror. This was all happening whilst I was married to my narcissistic ex-husband, he had deeply impacted my sense of self and my physical appearance is what I honed in on. What you will learn in this episode:
Body shaming can be a huge part of narcissistic abuse, because we’ll blame ourselves for what’s happening and take it out on ourself. My hope for this episode is that I can put you on the right track to love yourself and feel comfortable in your own body in the process of healing from narcissistic abuse. Here is the link to book your FREE call with one of my Narcissistic Abuse Ambassadors to get your very own Personalised Healing Map with the steps to start your healing journey with where you are right now: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/personalised-healing-map-call Resources:
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| Ask Me Anything: August ‘22 | 02 Aug 2022 | 00:48:59 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why people struggle to leave abusive relationships to why your sex drive is low after dating a narcissist. I’ll also do a deep dive on how we become addicted to the chemicals inside our brain and why we may stay in an abusive relationship to seek out those feel-good chemicals. Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| Anger At The Cheating Narcissist | 26 Jul 2022 | 00:20:22 | |
Anger is one of the biggest emotions I see directed at the narcissist, and sometimes even more at the other woman or man that your narcissistic partner has cheated with. In this episode, I will discuss what happens inside our body and brain when anger is building up and why it’s important to know how to deal with this emotion so that we can start to heal from our past traumas. What you will learn in this episode:
Anger certainly showed its face when I was dealing with my narcissistic ex-husband, and thankfully I was able to direct the emotions I was feeling to help me through the healing process. It’s important that we know how to direct these emotions. I hope this episode and discussion around anger will help you along your healing journey, as what builds inside of us as an emotion can eventually lead to real physical illnesses. Resources:
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| New Years Intentions To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse | 31 Dec 2024 | 00:13:00 | |
What can you do to heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse and regain your power in 2025? You have to set small, achievable goals rather than grand resolutions that often lead to failure. You have to focus on one manageable step at a time and understand the impact of trauma and narcissistic abuse on your life. You need to heal by doing nervous system regulation and addressing the root causes of trauma. By breaking down goals into bite-sized chunks and adopting a mindset of "for now," you will empower yourself to build sustainable habits as well as prioritise self-care, even amidst the challenges of healing from narcissistic abuse. With the support of my free masterclass and community, you have to guide you towards regaining your true potential in the new year. Free Workshop - The 3 Stages Of Healing Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse carolinestrawson.com/three-stages-of-trauma
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| Survivor Stories with Devena Simon | 19 Jul 2022 | 01:06:19 | |
In today’s episode, I hear Devena Simon’s story of how she navigated her healing journey from being in a relationship with a narcissist. In this new series, I will be having conversations with people who have survived narcissistic abuse. My hope is that I can bring you examples of what happens within narcissistic relationships so that you can know how to react and survive if you happen to experience the same things. What you will learn in this episode:
Devena describes how her high school sweetheart turned into her narcissist. We’ll discover the warning signs that she wished she had seen when she first met her boyfriend, and she’ll share how she has managed to live a better life by healing from her narcissistic trauma. Devena hopes that her experience with a narcissist can help you avoid the same pitfalls, whilst mending bridges and rebuilding your life.
Connect with Devena:
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| The Mother Wound of Narcissistic Abuse with Brooke Bownes | 12 Jul 2022 | 00:32:14 | |
In today's episode, I am interviewing Brooke Bownes who is a Trauma-Informed Therapist and Coach, specialising in helping women heal their mother wounds associated with narcissistic abuse, she is also a valued member of my Embodied SELF Leadership Mastermind. I have no first-hand experience with a narcissistic parent, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to have Brooke on the show to discuss her experiences with her narcissistic mother. What you will learn in this episode:
Brooke was so kind to share her story about her narcissistic mother, from how she was treated as a child to the moment she realised that her mother was actually a narcissist. Brooke discusses how she managed to get on the path of healing herself to avoid passing on any narcissistic traits to her own children. I hope that these conversations will help you on your healing journey and perhaps they’ll make you see why people behave in the way they do. Guest Resources:
UK link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09DX7PB11 US link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09DX7PB11 Resources:
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| Ask Me Anything: July ‘22 | 05 Jul 2022 | 00:28:50 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! I’ve received so many questions from you since our first “AMA” last month and I’m so happy that we can engage in this way. In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why people don’t believe your story about a narcissist to how to deal with a trauma bond. I’ve tried to pick the questions that I believe will relate to the majority of you. Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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