NLP In Action - Mike Sweet - 10 Minute Coach - Rapid Practical NLP – Details, episodes & analysis

Reframing is a core element of NLP. It's a simple yet powerful process that can mean the difference between you have a stressed and uptight life or one much more enjoyable one. Seriously, it really is that good. And the great news is, you'll already do this in some shape or form. 

There are 3 areas that I'll separate out for Deletions. These are Nominalisations, Unspecified verbs and Simple deletions.

For clarity, the purpose of understanding deletions is to get to the heart of another person map. We are deletions machines, it allows us to simplify and fast track through life, but this means we miss so much of what actually is going on for a person.

The first sections we can take a deep dive into is Nominalisations, I have written a post, podcast and video on this, but in the interest of keeping it all together, here's another summary.

T.O.T.E stands for Test, operate, test, exit.
It is a dynamic feedback model that allows us to begin to understand what works and what doesn't.

The tote model can be applied in just about every situation where you have a desired outcome in mind.

If you do have a desired outcome, that presupposes that you don't currently have that result otherwise, it would be your present state or current situation.

Now to transition from your present state to your desired state, you probably have an idea of what you need to do. However, this is where the T.O.T.E model kicks in.

"If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again." Intelligently!

What if after the first try at obtaining your desired state or outcome, you don't succeed? Well, simple. You try again. However, remember that great saying of Einstein?

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."

Each time you review the process, you change the operation in some way which will undoubtedly lead to a slightly different result, is that your end result? Is that the desired state that you are after?

If not, repeat the test, but this time change the operation in some way which will change the result, take the new closer and closer to your desired outcome or state.

Once you reach and achieve the desired outcome that you are after, then you can exit.

T.O.T.E test, operate, test, exit.

This is how Edison made the lightbulb with over 1000 changes in the operation, Edison persevered as his desired result was a working lightbulb. Each failed attempt was a lesson learnt. Each lesson learnt, gave new insight into how to change the operation to get the desired result.

People don't like to be wrong. Often, people faced with failure will move on and ignore rather than change and adapt. The tote model is in perfect alignment with the NLP presupposition that there is no failures only feedback!

To put this into practice, think about the desired state you want to create, it could be confidence, it could be wittiness or even compassion. If your present state doesn't match your desired state, then you can enter that T.O.T.E model and make adjustments as you go until you achieve the state or outcome that you want.

In true T.O.T.E format, everything is a tote. Think about every phone call that you have. Is the conversation going in the way you'd like? Then make that change based on feedback.

How's your presentation going? Not to plan? If your performance isn't going as planned, then, it's not your desired outcome. So rather than bail and run away from the presentation or accept failure during it. How can you begin to change the operation which can incrementally lead towards your desired state and outcome?

Don't just think of a T.O.T.E as a big achievement model to get an end goal. Think of it as more of a way to move and adjust elegantly to life's challenges.

Discussions with your children or loved ones is a great example. If the conversation or tone isn't where you want it to be because you feel it's heading in the wrong direction, T.O.T.E.

In marketing terms, we call this testing and measuring. Just make sure you make the adjustments and continue to test.

This is Episode 012 of the NLP In Action podcast. This session is all about controlling your state, by controlling your inner voice and the way it or should say you make you feel. Your inner voice is the one that is talking to you right now.

Perhaps even while you're listening, or reading this that internal voice is still chattering away. There's a chance is asking you because it wants to ask me where I'm going with this, or perhaps you're confirming to yourself that you've heard something like this before! this in a voice, or inner critic is with you all of us, however some people blame this inner voice and describe it as a piece of them that they simply can't control, it seems to have power over them and it makes them do things or perhaps in summary more cases not do the things that they want to.

The great news though, it's your inner critic. In the book the chimp paradox the author describes this as monkey mind. It's also referred to as monkey mind by certain Tai Chi practitioners. I like to refer it  to it as, you! Trying to separate this is exactly the problem. This is a part of you, and you have full control over it, however some paradigms assume it's it, that has the control.

So how do you begin to relinquish this control over this seemingly wild train of thoughts? One of the ways I mention quite frequently is the type of questions you ask yourself. I've covered this in another podcast please check that out. Today's show is all about controlling this inner voice and sometimes our biggest critic by using sub-modalities. This is an NLP podcast after all! LOL

This is session number 11 of the NLP in actions podcast and today's show is all about the Pattern Interrupt. So much of NLP is is flexible and not a one trick pony. Its tools, techniques, and principles are readily transferable and have the ability to integrate with others, creating amazing flexibility and profound changes. The pattern interrupt follows this exact same pattern of flexibility in its applications but it uses can seem so different.

As we discover in NLP, so much of what we do is pattern-based. We follow certain methods, models and procedures whenever we do certain tasks or things. These models are patterns and they allow us to generate and create certain outcomes and states. Some of these are beneficial and others aren’t. Let me give you an example of a not so good pattern.

Your alarm goes off at 6 AM you reach over with your right arm and hit snooze, three minutes later the alarm goes off again, and so does your arm, ready to hit the snooze button. This repeats several times until you finally decide it's time to get out of bed. You eventually get out of bed, you're not feeling too good, but you plod on as you do every single morning…….Because, this is your pattern. This also ties in nicely to the saying “if you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always got.”  Our patterns allow us to run on autopilot which is a massive advantage most of the time. If our patterns are not helpful and create states we wish we weren't in, then patterns need to be interrupted.

An interruption in a pattern can dramatically transform a person state or outcome and there are so many ways to do this, so I'll explain a few here. Once you understand this principle, you can find new ways that you can use this and if you have any questions regarding these please do get in touch and I can go over some with you.

To go back to the example I gave above about lying in bed in the morning and snoozing eight times before deciding to get out. A change in pattern or change in strategy could be to move your phone or alarm to the other side of the room. The following morning when your alarm goes off at 6 AM you have no choice but to get out of bed to turn the alarm off, also decide prior to that, once the alarm goes off and you switch it off, you stand at the other end of your bedroom, open the curtains and do a big stretch and take three deep breaths. This is a pattern that you can decide upon, but whatever you do will create a dramatic change from what you were doing and you can most definitely expect a change in your state and how your morning normally runs.

This is Episode 010 of the NLP In Action podcast. This show is all about the Circle of Excellence. There are a few name variations to this but the principles are all the same. So just embrace the process and look for new applications and variations yourself. One of the main core skills of NLP is state management. Having the ability to manage your state in various circumstances has a massive positive impact. Most people let their states managed them. The Circle of excellence, sometimes known as the circle of confidence and many more variations is a simple process that allows a person to create a desired state, and then step into that any time that they choose. A person can have a number of these "desired states" for various applications, such as sales, negotiation, even having fun.

Superstars, presidents, and all types of people who are on stage, go through some sort of Circle of excellence process, to enable them to deliver not only their speech but their passion and enthusiasm.

The Circle of Excellence process

1. Decide on the resource or state. Choose a resourceful state that you would like to have more often.
2. Imagine there's a circle on the floor in front of you, something the size that you can step into. Some people even like to mark this out.
3. Time to elicit that state, so take some time, relax and breathe deeply. As this is a process of imagination, it's usually easier to do this with your eyes closed.
4. Now elicit a strong resourceful state. really intensify that feeling, act as if you had that state intensely, notice the sensations, and feelings.
5. Now project those intense feelings into the circle in front of you. Notice what colour they are, how they moving what's the size? Notice the sounds of feelings that come from that circle.
6. Now, step into the circle when the feelings and emotions are at their peak. As soon as you get in there, intensify those feelings as much as you can, notice and feel the powerful emotions that are surrounding and flowing throughout your entire body. Breathe it in, and totally embrace it.
7. Anchor that feeling with some natural gesture word or phrase. Some people use a body movement as an anchor that is in line with the state they are trying to produce.
8. Don't let the intensity fade, step back out, shake off the feelings and return to a normal state. ( Questions like what do I have a breakfast on Wednesday is a great way to create a neutral state change).
9. Now repeat the process, adding in where possible even more powerful emotions

This is Episode 009 of the NLP In Action podcast and this session is all about representational systems, sometimes called rep systems in the world of NLP. Rep systems are yet another corner stone of NLP and without them, you will literally be in the dark.

A representational system, can be defined as particular senses we use to describe our experience of the world. There are 3 main and 5 overall representational systems for the purpose of this explanation. These are Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory and Gustatory Aka V.A.K.O.G in the vast majority of cases only the first 3 are used. With all practice, do what's necessary and then add in later once you have mastered the most relevant and useful steps.

Start to notice these representational systems in a persons choice of words. NLP calls these "predicates". This is meant to imply something relating to the representational systems used.

People will have a dominant or sensory preference that you'll be able to pick up in their language. The reason you'd want to know this is that it makes connecting with people far easier. Communicating in a person's sensory preference is a great rapport builder and I'm sure you've heard people say, "we were just on the same wavelength". There are a number of reasons for this but sensory preference matching is a great step in the right direction. Talking "their way" makes commInication flow as they do not need to swap over rep systems internally in an effort to make more sense of the communication.

This is Episode 008 of the NLP In Action podcast. And you would understand why this is number 8 if you understood fully where I'm coming from. Metaphorically speaking! This session is on Perceptual Positions. Most of you even if you've never heard of this will do this in some ways most days. But.... when you add some structure and methodology it will allow you to become a more rounded, could I say balanced person. Understanding perceptual positions can allow you to be the ultimate placater and mediator.

The great news here is they are what they sound like. A perception of another position, in this case, another person's position, or understanding of an event, situation, or even and upcoming one for example.

As with all NLP, you will find variations to an on certain techniques. But as I aim to keep these in 10-minute shows I'll deliver and explain the most common 3 positions. I like to do this process in 2 separate rounds, but as with all NLP, you can simply mix and match until you get the desired result and or state. The first of the rounds is to allow you to obtain insights, and foresight, and the second round is the same thing but now applying those initial learnings and creating new learnings to give a new understanding. Round 1

Associated. This means to see and assess the situation through your own eyes and senses. This is a very insular process and you need to imagine as if you are there. There is a linguistic pattern in NLP and we say, "see what you'd see, feel what you'd feel, hear what you'd here and notice those feeling inside..... what are you saying to yourself"? This is a great way to get your own fully rounded perspective firstly.

"I wish you could walk a day in my shoes?" This is the process and step where you will Imagine what it is like to be the other person. Really begin to imagine what its like for them. Almost as if you are looking back at you listening to whats been said and how your are acting, How are you coming across to them? An interesting angle and easy for the self-critical, but try to be a little neutral and just understand more, now you have the opportunity too.

Ever noticed when the person is standing at the sideline of a discussion they step in after a few minutes of back and forth and are usually able to get a new and different perspective on the situation. One that perhaps neither of you had thought of as a solution or desired outcome. This third position is about detachment and really allows for a birds eye view of the situation. From this position, you can watch body language, posture and perhaps take the view of both and combine to make a new level of understanding. Its great to consider how differently the situation would pan out if you take on board this view. The 2nd Round Repeat the above steps again! "Mike I've already done them why again?" This time, you'll notice each position feels completely different. If you think about it. It's impossible to get the exact response as you now have a brand new set of understandings, viewpoint, and knowledge. As always practice, practice and practice some more...... It makes permanent, and it will allow you to be unconsciously competent at running this process. It very possible, with practice, that you are able to do this on the fly. Can you imagine how effective you'd be at understanding a situation or event if this were automatic?

This is Episode 006 of the NLP In Action podcast. This episode is all about matching and mirroring. Perhaps one of the most misunderstood and misused of all of the NLP tool-box.

If you match and mirror an individual's physiology pitch, pace and volume and more during an interaction you'll be able to create a rapid and solid rapport with them. There is a very fine line with matching and mirroring and it's not copying and mimicking. There is nothing worse than that.

Simple! You can observe this perfectly at work with people who are comfortable with each other. They will sit the same, breathe at the same pace, speak at similar volumes and gesture in a similar way. is very simple to see how this was discovered, and again how easy it would be to deduce that copying those patterns could, and would produce rapid cases of rapport. However, the thing that needs to be understood about this, is that these behaviours were happening on an unconscious level, therefore when the unskilled practitioner attempts to match and mirror it can happen on a very conscious level and could come across extremely awkward, and worst of all the person may realise that you're actually mimicking them which is not going to help report at all.