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Torturing you to degrade myself.

This piece is a transgressive, confessional monologue that explores the porous boundaries between art and obscenity, intimacy and performance. It is erotic not just in content, but in method—sensation becomes structure, and desire drives language.

It stands in defiance of institutionalized systems of control—psychiatry, academia, patriarchy, and algorithmic morality—reclaiming the abject and grotesque as sites of power. Formally, it rejects narrative linearity in favor of recursion, looping obsessively through sensation, thought, and memory in an anti-climactic structure.

What emerges is a work that is sensual, anti-categorical, and unflinchingly honest—art as rupture, art as body, art as refusal.

I tried to edit this weeks ago, but it just takes too long… It’s so much work! Hopefully next time, I can figure out a better way to do it… As I’m still experimenting and learning. Editing is a real job though, I prefer making…I hope you enjoy, and my apologies if there are any repetitions or confusing things, because I did try to arrange it properly, though I burned myself out with it and I need to move on ! XOXO// I’ve removed the duplicated segment, so sorry about that !