Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises – Details, episodes & analysis

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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. 

Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Lily’s story and our conversation! 

Lily is the host of the NPE Stories podcast and I am honored to have had this time with Lily! 

Lily’s honest conversation about what her relationship was like with her mother leading up to her discovery and how it has been since is something that hit home personally while also showing Lily’s strength, growth and how she used that to do better for herself and her family!

Another thing that I found interesting was hearing Lily talk about not only the emotional toll this takes on us but also how our bodies feel, hold on to past emotions and continue to feel those traumas.

Lily gives some great advice on taking care of your own mental health and wellbeing, and giving yourself permission to focus inward. 

If you haven’t already make sure you find and follow Lily’s podcast, NPE Stories.  Lily will be sharing my conversation with her on her podcast this week also!

Thank you Lily for your vulnerability, honesty and for sharing your story with us!

Links to additional information regarding Lily's interviews as well as resources:

Lily's Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/npe-stories/id1464478802

NPE Stories - Lily's Story:   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lilys-story/id1464478802?i=1000464979607

The Secret In My DNA - Lily's Story:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-11-a-sounding-board-lilys-story/id1545020186?i=1000550662444

DNA Surprises - Lily's Story:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lilys-dna-surprise/id1598395367?i=1000632441313

Everything's Relative with Eve Sturges - Lily's Story:   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lily-wood-npe-stories-special-crossover-episode/id1459167540?i=1000500770908

Missing Pieces - NPE Life - Lily is interviewed along with 3 other pillars within the community:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/4-pillars-4-women-answer-4-questions/id1621877452?i=1000565074218

Missing Pieces - NPE Life - Lily interviews Don Anderson's wife and Don interviews Lily's Husband:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spouses-speak/id1621877452?i=1000598569890

The Reverend & The Reprobate:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dna-tests-family-trees-and-npe-stories-the-lily/id1525591938?i=1000568331336

Email:            npestories@gmail.com
Instagram:     npestories
Facebook:     NPE Stories
Additional Facebook groups:  Hiraeth Hope & Healing or Togetherness Heals-NPE Only

Website: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/

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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing part two of Rebecca’s story and the rest of our conversation!  

As Rebecca’s story continues, she shares that first phone call with her raised father after he was told the truth about Rebecca’s paternity. 

Rebecca talks about getting her control back after conforming her whole life for her mother. How she decided to do better than her mother at any cost, she wants to be a better human. The one thing I thought while I listened to Rebecca talk about her interaction with her raised mother and father is that it is like standing up to a bully really. They are manipulators that we’ve always had in our lives. 

She will also share how therapy is invaluable. We talk about the grief of losing somebody that is still alive, which is very powerful to say that out loud.

Those of us with our Mothers still alive ask ourselves “how will I feel when I get the call that my mother died?  Each of us have to answer this question for ourselves, Rebecca has a great perspective on this.

She wants others to know that you can come out the other side. That it’s ok to grieve the mother you never had.

As a bonus you will hear one of her pups interject during our interview.

Thank again Rebecca for sharing your story and for everyone who is here and knowing that we are not alone! 

If you would like to connect with Rebecca you can find her on Facebook at Rebecca Neale or you can email me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com.

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

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Welcome, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies & DNA Surprises podcast, where we will discuss our relationships with our mothers including how they were growing up, leading up to our discovery, during our discovery and since learning our truths.

We will have unfiltered conversations about our struggles with our mothers and dive into how we’ve uncovered who we are after her lies!

Thank you for being here, you are not alone!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578794068415

Music:  "Drown in your lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing part one of Rebecca’s story and our conversation!  

As you will hear in her story there is conversation about mental health and some struggles she had and that I hear from so many NPEs so as a trigger warning if you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis there is free, confidential help available 24/7 by calling or texting 988 or chatting on line at 988lifeline.org.  

Rebecca is going to speak openly and honestly about her relationship with her mother that she had with her for her entire life.  How she has always committed to protecting her own children and to do better and to be a better mother.

She will also share how she felt like she was living 2 lives-therapy/work and still continuing her weekly phone calls with her mother.   Rebecca has learned a lot about herself and her mother through this journey and through therapy.  The control, the manipulation, realizing that she was trauma bonded with her mother and finally she talks about getting her control back!!

So thank you Rebecca for sharing your story and for everyone who is here and knowing we are not alone!

If you would like to share your story please email me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com. You can share anonymously if you prefer.

I would love to hear from you with any questions, comments, feedback or show ideas.

Also, please follow, leave a review or join the private on Facebook Page at Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast.

Thank you for being here with us, where we are not alone in our struggles with our mothers.

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  Today I am sharing Beth’s story and our conversation!  

Beth will share how dark her emotions got early in her discovery so this is a trigger warning for anyone who struggles with depression, suicidal thoughts or mental health 

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis there is free, confidential help available 24/7 by calling or texting 988 or chatting on line at 988lifeline.org.  

As Beth shares, and so many I hear from, her Mother held her to a higher standard throughout her life and while growing up her mother would preach not to lie or else, yet those same mothers held the biggest lie!

Beth will share that it wasn’t the affair that hurt, it’s the lifetime of lying about who her father was. 

These secrets protects them, not us, the children, the innocent children. Beth has lived her life putting herself in other people’s shoes and she can’t make this ok, she is stuck.  Working towards moving forward and forgiving but she’s not there yet.

Beth gave some great advice in our conversation, she talks about allowing yourself the “whoa is me days”, room to cry, grieve, ask for help and so importantly giving yourself permission to say “NO”.

Thank you Beth for your vulnerability, honesty and for sharing your story with us!

If you would like to reach out to Beth email me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com and put Beth's Story in the subject line and I will share your message with her.  Thank you!

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast.  

We have another episode dropping Tuesday, November 4th, I’m honored to be sharing Beth’s story.

As I record this it is the 1st day of November, for those of us in areas that recognize daylight savings time it means we fall back an hour tomorrow morning.  Fall is one of my favorite seasons here in northern Minnesota and it had me reading on the meaning of the fall season and I thought it would mean something to a lot of us in this community:  Fall is a season of transformation, introspection and balance, representing cycles of legging go and preparing for new beginnings.  A time for gratitude while also releasing what no longer serves you to make space for the future.  Embrace change, finding beauty in endings and balancing light and darkness within oneself!  I found this very powerful for so many reasons this year!  

I wanted to send out this message looking for others who would like to share their story.  I am looking to schedule more conversations for the podcast.  Please reach out to me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com or share this podcast with someone who might be open to sharing their stories to help others know they are not alone.

Thank you and I hope you are making the best of this season of transformation and new beginnings.

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  

Today I am sharing my conversation with Jenny regarding her story!  First I want to share a few trigger warnings with Jenny’s conversation, part of her story includes childhood sexual abuse and mental health struggles.  If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis there is free, confidential help available 24/7 by calling or texting 988 or chatting on line at 988lifeline.org.  There is also 24/7 support available through the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE or text Hope to 64673.

Jenny had a feeling of being different as a child, rough childhood and as I can relate to she always daydreamed about a better life.  As a teenager she actually confronted her mother about her father.  She was really close with her mother during this time, trusting that her mother would never lie about her paternity. Once she married and moved away from her childhood environment and started her family she realized the toxicity within her raised family.  

As you will hear in her story when she went no contact, broke that no contact to try and get answers and then back to no contact for her mental health.  Jenny is very honest about her mental health struggles during her NPE discovery and the work she’s done. She will tell us about where she is with her new paternal family. 
Thank you Jenny for being very vulnerable, honest and for sharing your story with us!

Jenny Lynn links:
Email:
thejenbuehler@gmail.com

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

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Welcome, 

Today I am sharing Bobbi’s story and our conversation!  I loved my conversation with Bobbi for a number of reasons, one of those reasons is being able to hear her story and perspective from three different angles…yes, 3. Bobbi is able to openly and honestly talk about not only her story but to also speak about her past mistakes and the decisions that were made during hard times which isn’t easy.  She wanted to share so many others are able to see multiple points of views and to possibly help other mothers who have made similar decisions to come forward and share their stories as well.  Bobbi’s hope is that any of us with NPE surprises can offer grace, love and support to others and ideally to other mothers who may be looking for help in deciding when or how to tell the truth will hear her story .  

One of my takeaways from our conversation is that not every story is the same (as we know) but sometimes there are generational behaviors that lead to some of our discoveries and traumas but hearing Bobbi’s story shows us that breaking generational behaviors benefits so many!

Thank you Bobbi for being very vulnerable and sharing your story with us!

Below are links to Bobbi's book, previous podcast interview and her contact email:

"Descendant Deception" Bobbi's book she wrote that is fiction based on her truth-Amazon book link:

https://a.co/d/b2ReQwM

Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bobbis-dna-surprise/id1598395367?i=1000678304934

Email:

redangelgirl@gmail.com

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

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Today is a quick impromptu episode sharing some thoughts on my Rebirth Day!  

What is a "rebirth day"?  According to A.I. the definition is "an annual celebration of a new beginning or a second chance at life, which can be a life-saving medical transplant, a significant personal milestone like recovery from addiction or trauma, a spiritual conversion, or a societal commitment to a new, harmonious phase of life. The specific meaning of a rebirthday varies depending on whether it is personal, medical, religious, or global".  

For many of us within the DNA Surprises community we refer to the day we found out about our surprise (NPE, Donor Conceived, Late Discovery Adoptee, etc) as our Rebirth Day.  For me it was a life changing event and every year it hits me, differently each year but hits me nonetheless! 

Sending out my thoughts to everyone else who gets what I'm feeling!

Thank you for being here!

Stacy

I would love to hear from you, email me at:

mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com

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Today's conversation is with Erin and I am honored to have her on my podcast and share the details around her relationship with her mother and also with some of the other individuals in her life.  Erin is someone who co-founded the Hiraeth Hope & Healing Facebook support groups that include Togetherness Heals, bi-weekly Zooms, Retreats and many other wonderful support opportunities.

Erin learned her truth about 8 years ago so she has done a lot of work and has seen many ups and downs within her original family as well as her new biological Father's side.

Thank you Erin for the great conversation!

Facebook Groups:

Togetherness Heals (individual groups for NPEs, DCPs and Adoptees)

Hiraeth Hope & Healing

Website:  www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com

Here are the podcasts that Erin has shared on if you'd like to hear more: 

• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/togetherness-heals-erin-cosentino/id1459167540?i=1000524197058
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/4-pillars-4-women-answer-4-questions/id1621877452i=1000565074218
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/erin-c-togetherness-heals-hiraeth-hope-and-healing-pt-1/id1735233516?i=1000656961329
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/122-erin-cosentino-hiraeth-hope-and-healing-part-3/id1558462030?i=1000614131364
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s3-e11-from-strangers-to-family-the-healing-impact/id1594407822?i=1000624946508

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay