Explore every episode of the podcast MILKLESS
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| #72 Magic in the World | 19 Sep 2024 | 00:20:37 | |
Matt and Max talk about when Matt had to break some news to his daughter about the nonexistence of a magical creature she had believed to be real for as long as she'd been alive. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #71 Aging Parents and Our Own Health | 18 Sep 2024 | 00:28:55 | |
Matt and Max talk about why they took a random week off. Spoiler Alert: Max's dad was med flighted for an emergency surgery. They talk about aging parents and how they look at their own health. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #62 Adult Friendships | 01 Aug 2024 | 00:14:58 | |
Matt and Max talk about how friendship is so important in today's world and how sometimes we can get different things from different people in our life. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #61 Milkless Mailbag with Sam "Ice Man" Stolper | 30 Jul 2024 | 00:38:32 | |
Trying something new here folks - it's our first ever Milkless Mailbag! Listeners sent in questions, and Max and Matt did their best to say useful things - with the help of good friend and returning guest Sam "Ice Man" Stolper. We cover topics ranging from overbearing grandparents, to sharing the load within a marriage, to the challenges of maintaining a clean home (and the value of recognizing that not everyone shares the same definition of "clean"). This is the hardest we've laughed making an episode in quite some time, so sit back and crank it. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #60 Boundaries, Tantrums, and Sobfests at Dave & Busters w/ Dan Beswick | 24 Jul 2024 | 00:40:04 | |
Max and Matt are joined by the famous Bez, as the three Dads dive into the often tricky balance between firm boundaries and gentle parenting. What does it look like to put your foot down kindly with a kid who's truly ready to test your limits? What can we do before that meeting of the wills that will hopefully make it go better? How do we calm our own worries that those necessary limit-setting clashes will create long term ripples in the relationship? We also talk a lot about how different this can look from one kid to the next, or even with the same kid at different points in their life. This is one of the many balance beams that we're always walking as parents: respecting our kids' feelings and who they are and creating an environment that doesn't feel like a dictatorship but does acknowledge the many ways in which our kids need us to say, "no" when they can't do it for themselves. We ain't got it figured out yet, but we're working on it. Here we go! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #59 Herd Mentality in Parenting? | 18 Jul 2024 | 00:20:14 | |
Matt and Max talk about how one of the great mistakes of humankind is how we are more apt to follow consensus over what might yield the best outcomes. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #58 Kids Who Care | On Service, Giving, and Beach Tampons w/Simon Salgado | 16 Jul 2024 | 00:29:38 | |
The data is overwhelming: adults who commit themselves to acts of service and make volunteering a part of their life are just way happier. And, like everything else, that's a muscle you start building when you're a kid. But unless you belong to a religious community, you've kind of got to bring your own beer in terms of incorporating service into your family's life. And with young kids, your options can feel a little limited, because... well, no offense, but five year olds suck at a lot of stuff. So how do you find opportunities that start to instill an instinct for service in your kids? How do we balance boots on the ground volunteerism with making thoughtful decisions about monetary donations? How do we create a healthy connection between privilege and responsibility without dipping into the shame zone. Max and Matt are joined by longtime friend Simon Salgado, who has put a lot of thought into all of these questions and helps make it a funny episode with a lot of laughs. He also shames Max and Matt by making the most disgusting joke of the episode. You win this round, Salgado. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #57 Adult Time Away from Kids + Ragging on Parenting Influencers | 11 Jul 2024 | 00:16:19 | |
Matt and Max talk about how important it is to have adult time away from kids and then meander into how strange the parenting social media universe can be. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #56 Rage, Control, Surrender, and Other Light-Hearted Topics w/ Matt Rose (Pt 2) | 09 Jul 2024 | 00:27:44 | |
If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there at Episode #55 (which is Part one of this two part episode). Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #55 Rage, Control, Surrender, and Other Light-Hearted Topics w/ Matt Rose (Pt 1) | 02 Jul 2024 | 00:38:00 | |
We know we keep talking about this, but we (and just about every other parent we know) keep struggling with it. How is it that - no matter how many times it happens, no matter how aware we are of the dynamics, and no matter how much we work against it - sometimes the temperature in the house just gets turned up so high that things explode? Luckily, we've got a new brain and a new perspective entering the conversation: our old friend and father of one Matt Rose, who pushes us into whole new ways of thinking about this age-old parenting culsterf*©k. We get into the uncomfortable relationship between caring deeply for a thing and wanting to exert power over it... the constant push-pull between the need for control and the inevitability of surrender... the fiery reactions we have when our own identities feel threatened... and, of course, an S&M joke or two. Tuck in, y'all. This one goes deep. This is Part 1 in a two part episode. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #54 Move Over First Born | 27 Jun 2024 | 00:15:08 | |
Matt and Max talk about how when you have a second child often times the older child feels like they are pushed out of the way and sometimes fight for attention. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #53 Spirituality and Religion with Dan Koch + Two Heathens | 24 Jun 2024 | 00:41:18 | |
There’s a fair amount of research to support the notion that spirituality and religion can be awfully good for people (and for their kids). But organized religion doesn’t exactly have a spotless track record - no matter what faith you’re talking about. Plus Matt and Max both grew up pretty much full-on heathen, so even if they do buy into the benefits, is religion really something that they could genuinely incorporate into their families’ lives? The Boys welcome the refreshingly open-minded Dan Koch to the program to hash it out. Dan hosts the brilliant podcast You Have Permission. He was raised Evangelical, left it behind, and became a therapist and researcher (with a focus on spiritual trauma) - all while remaining a person of deep faith. Dan has spent much of his life thinking about the babies and bathwaters of spirituality and religion - and as a father, he spends a lot of time trying to figure out what that looks like for families and kids. How do we give our children access and exposure to the innate human drives for meaning, transcendence, and connection to something bigger than ourselves… without shoving a bunch of mumbo-jumbo down their throats? Let’s go! Dan Koch’s Linktree Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #70 On the Importance of Humor in Parenting (Seriously) | 04 Sep 2024 | 00:36:22 | |
As parents, we're often told how important it is to guide, nurture, and protect, but what about just being silly? Humor plays a critical role in child development, and in this episode, Max and Matt get rounded out as they dive into a study highlighting the importance of being a parent who embraces humor. Whether it’s being the silly parent, encouraging kids to crack jokes, or just watching funny stuff on TV, The Boys break down the different types of humor kids develop at various stages and how it can affect their development. Plus, they'll share their own funny, tried-and-true methods of getting their little ones rolling on the floor. This is a fun one, so get ready to chuckle your way through parenting. LET'S GO! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #52 Travel Sports with Simon Salgado | 20 Jun 2024 | 00:15:37 | |
Matt and Max talk about how kids are doing travel sports younger and younger with their good friend Simon Salgado. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| # 51 LOOK AT ME! Why Your Kid’s Sh*tty Drawing is Actually Kind of Important | 18 Jun 2024 | 00:30:58 | |
Has one of your kids ever asked you to look at them? How about in the last hour? How about in the last five minutes? This one seems to be totally universal, and boy can it drive you up the wall. It is simply not possible to live a full adult life while looking at your kids every time they ask you to. But the son-of-b*tch is that it's also really important for kids to consistently feel seen by their parents. So how do you balance this impossible task? How do you handle those moments when your kid is asking desperately for your full attention and you truly cannot give it to them (because you're, like, merging onto the freeway)? How do you create an environment in which kids feel like they're a part of things, but don't have carte blanche to interrupt you whenever they want? We don't know... but we're definitely going to talk about it. Let's GO! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #50 Science Kids | 13 Jun 2024 | 00:16:07 | |
Matt and Max talk about how watching science videos with their kids can be a fun way to learn about the world and the wonder within it. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #49 Queer Eye for the Straight Guys with Colton Underwood | 11 Jun 2024 | 00:38:10 | |
We've got another kickass guest - and this one's kind of, like, a famous guy. Colton Underwood's resume is truly unique: a Catholic-raised college football star from rural Illinois who made it all the way to the NFL, then appeared on three seasons of The Bachelor... then came out as gay at age 29. Colton is now married with a kid on the way and hosting the hit podcast Daddyhood, but coming out was a long and painful process that he wouldn't wish on anybody. Colton joins Max and Matt for an honest discussion about how we as parents can make whatever road our kids travel a little smoother - and allow them to be exactly who they are - whatever that turns out to be. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #48 Modern Parenting Frustration | 06 Jun 2024 | 00:14:26 | |
We're going to start dropping a second episode each week! The format of the second episode is called "When = Now." The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, less editing, and more free flowing. Take a listen and if it's your jam, then you just got 2x the MILKLESS in your life. (But if it's not for you and you like the regular episodes, we won't be offended if you skip over some or all of them). Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #47 Intervention vs. Letting the Kids Be w/Sam Stolper | 04 Jun 2024 | 00:34:07 | |
We're always watching our kids to see how they're doing, and to make sure they get the help they need when they need it. But the question of if and when to intervene is seldom clearcut. Whether it's language development, physical or emotional well-being, or even just climbing up high on a counter - parents are constantly asking themselves whether this is the right time to get in there, or if it would be better to hang back and let the kid figure it out. Of course that equation gets even more complicated with two parents who don't necessarily share the same opinion. Max and Matt are joined by longtime friend Sam Stolper, who brought this topic to the podcast after navigating a couple of different "to intervene or not to intervene" situations with his wife. Of course, there's no one right answer to this question. We're more interested in how to approach the thought process. How do you engage in useful milestone-tracking while avoiding an anxious household? What are the right questions to ask when weighing the cost/benefit of a certain intervention? What are the biases that we as people bring to the equation, and do those leanings serve our kids? What's the best time to argue about it with your spouse? Probably when you've both had a couple of drinks when the in-laws are over, right? It's the Season 3 Premiere, y'all. Let's get it. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #46 Links in a Chain | An Ode to William F Williams | 30 Apr 2024 | 00:18:48 | |
Just a little somethin' between seasons 2 & 3 of the show. Matt tells a story about his daughter, and about the man who told him - long before Matt had kids - that being a father is "the best thing you'll ever do." Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #45 This is 40 | 04 Apr 2024 | 00:33:42 | |
Holy sh*t, The Boys are turning forty. This one's literally coming out on Max's 40th birthday. Is it just a number, or an opportunity to look at life in a whole new way? Maybe both? Maybe neither? Maybe it's what you make of it. But all the research shows that having a positive perspective on getting older makes the back half of your life a whole lot better (not to mention healthier and longer). So, how do we get there, in spite of the aching joints and inevitable humbling that life deals out? Matt and Max dive in, looking for ways to embrace what's coming whether we like it or not. Also, they talk about death for a while, cause that's always a crowd-pleaser (apologies in advance). But it's one of our favorite episodes already. Let's do it! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #44 Praise, Critique, and Confident Kids Who Aren’t Up Their Own Ass | 28 Mar 2024 | 00:40:08 | |
Our kids spend a LOT of time looking to us to figure out how they're doing. Does this work? Am I not supposed to do this? Do people like it when I try this thing? It's a little bit terrifying how much power we as parents have in shaping not only what our kids see as positive or negative behavior, but in how they see themselves and their identity. That means praise and critique are a pretty big part of parenting. But not all praise is actually helpful, and not all criticism is constructive. Max and Matt dive in, starting from a few well-researched principals and then exploring all of the nuance and grey area that is actual, real-life parenting. If you like the episode, send praise to @milklesspodcast. For all criticism, contact @milklesscriticismfanpage. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #43 On Health, Longevity, and Max Hiding Half a Bag of Cheez-Its in His Mouth | 14 Mar 2024 | 00:32:30 | |
You heard it here first, y'all: eating healthy and exercising makes you live longer AND does wonders for your mental health. Oh, wait, literally everyone is already saying this? Well, then maybe we should talk about how the f*ck you get yourself to do it consistently - particularly with young kids. This is not something Max and Matt have mastered, which is exactly why it's not intolerable to listen to them talk about it... because aren't we all a little tired of six-packed influencer parents telling us how easy it is to get your twenty-year-old body back? This one's as much about trying to understand our relationship with our own bodies, as it is about ways to stay fit. And if that all sounds a little soft, well... maybe it is... but we also curse a lot. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #69 Put Down the Stick with Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting (Pt. 2) | 28 Aug 2024 | 00:28:14 | |
This is part 2 of a two parter. So if you haven't listened to episode #67, maybe hit that one first. This is a continuation of a wide-ranging conversation with Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting (@bigtimeadulting). We started off talking about how social media sometimes makes us feel like lousy parents, but in part two we wander into everything from the heartache of getting ready for school, to nasty hangovers, to learning to forgive ourselves for our inevitable failures. You don't have to listen to part one before diving in, but it won't hurt... and it'll make a lot more sense why we keep using the phrase sh*t d*ck. So crank up the volume, and get yourself a snack! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #42 Ten Things We Hate and Ways to Make Them Suck Less (Part 2) | 07 Mar 2024 | 00:27:43 | |
If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there at Episode #42. Look, not everything about being a parent is that awesome. We all know it. Let's just say it. Actually, let's make a list, and then hang out and holler about how mad we sometimes get about this stuff. Sounds great, actually. Carthadic. Let's do it. We might even figure out some things to try, see if we can't make it all go a little smoother. It's a Hot Takes, y'all. Ten things Matt and Max hate about parenting Part Deux. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #41 Ten Things We Hate and Ways to Make Them Suck Less (Part 1) | 29 Feb 2024 | 00:26:57 | |
Look, not everything about being a parent is that awesome. We all know it. Let's just say it. Actually, let's make a list, and then hang out and holler about how mad we sometimes get about this stuff. Sounds great, actually. Carthadic. Let's do it. We might even figure out some things to try, see if we can't make it all go a little smoother. It's a Hot Takes, y'all. Ten things Matt and Max hate about parenting. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #40 On Phones: Mastering the Wonderful, Magical, Evil Robot in Our Pockets | 21 Feb 2024 | 00:31:13 | |
First off, don’t worry. We’re not coming for your phones. We LOVE our phones! Also, without them, it would much, much harder for you to listen to this podcast. But then there’s this uncomfortable truth that nobody really wants to talk about... including The Boys. It might just maybe be possible that we're all waaaaay too connected to our devices, and it's really f*cking with our heads and frequently forcing its way into the middle of our relationship with our kids. But dude, it's 2024 - going full-on Amish isn't exactly an option for most of us. Also, SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! So, how do we create an intentional relationship with our mobile computers - where we can do our work, and manage our schedule, and enjoy all of life's modern conveniences and entertainment - but also be in control of the situation. Because, at least for Max and Matt, it too often feels like that little buzzing devil in their pocket is really the one in charge - and that just ain't right, for us or our kids. So take out your phone and press play... and find us on Insta! Oh boy. The irony is not lost on us. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #39: About Violet Archer and The Case of the Purple Martin | 15 Feb 2024 | 00:22:21 | |
Hey y'all, so Matt wrote a kids book! Violet Archer and the Case of the Purple Martin is an early chapter book (the first in a series) that follows the investigations of kid detective Violet Archer and her investigative partner, Baba - a Jack Russell Terrier. Max read the manuscript and freaked out over the writing. Then he spent the next 6 months (and hundreds of hours) moving mountains to get the kids mystery book published. And holy sh*t it just came out! This less-than-typical episode starts off as an interview - Max reading passages from the book and asking Matt about his creative process. But the format quickly morphs into a conversation on trying to empathize with your kids, recognizing the ways in which we as parents sometimes unwittingly make life harder for our small people, and the power of story to articulate the internal life of a child. We promise we’re not just log-rolling a book here. This is an interview with an Emmy-nominated writer/director - most of it about parenting - complete with the low-brow dumb humor that Max and Matt couldn’t avoid even if they wanted to. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #38 On Whining: How to Avoid the Most Annoying Sound in the World | 08 Feb 2024 | 00:23:24 | |
For parents, there are few things more grating than the sound of your kids whining. It is biologically engineered to snap us into action. Unfortunately, it frequently snaps us into a rage, and literally all children do it - at least sometimes. Matt and Max are on a mission to handle their kids' whining better - and to try to dodge it completely whenever possible. So, why do kids whine? Why does it instantly turn us into Jack Nicholson from The Shining? And how do we GET IT TO F*CKING STOP without messing up our kids? As always, there is unfortunately no silver bullet answer. But there are tons of helpful ideas out there, and the Boys are diving right in. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #37 On Crying: Babies, Toddlers, Kids, Adults, Matt | 31 Jan 2024 | 00:37:46 | |
Kids cry. It's universal. It's also one of the hardest things to handle well as a parent, because - as effed up as it feels to say - upset kids can be really GD frustrating. And to make things more complicated, they don't always want to be doing it either! Even our kids get embarrassed when they get emotional at a moment where they'd rather have held it together. So, how are we supposed to validate their feelings, while giving them the tools to not lose their shit when they can't make the FUCK*NG LEGOS FIT! When you're a baby, you cry when you need something. That's how it's supposed to be. When you're an adult, you kind of want to have outgrown that phase... but still be able to cry at Field of Dreams. It's a long, strange trip. Let's go. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #36 Hot Takes | Low Hanging Fruit (11 Ways to Make Parenting Easier) | 23 Jan 2024 | 00:31:14 | |
It's time for some HOT TAKES. This is a collection, in no particular order, of things that have made Matt and Max's family life a little easier and better - without requiring much work. Cause really, who has time to add anything more these days? From the modestly profound, to the profoundly modest, here are eleven sweet, juicy pieces of low-hanging-fruit. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #35 Grit, Toughness, and Raising Resilient Kids without being THAT guy | 03 Jan 2024 | 00:35:30 | |
"Tough" is a complicated word. Does it mean hard-edged, unfeeling, and even bullying? Or, are we talking about perseverance, courage, and the strength of character to take risks, weather adversity, and do the right thing? Matt and Max are trying to figure out how to equip their kids with that second batch of traits, without slipping into the first one. And the more we thought about it, the more we realized that this comes up A LOT. Sometimes it's helping our kids work up the courage to get a shot at the doctor. Other times, it's how to stick with an activity that's challenging but rewarding. Heck, sometimes it's knowing when to quit. So, how do you prepare your kids for a life that will inevitably put them to the test - without teaching them to shut off their feelings and harden themselves to the world? What is the "right" amount of hardship to expose them to, and what's the best way to support them in those challenges? How do we, as humans, develop the skill of doing the hard thing because we believe in it (or cause it's just gotta get done)? And why was Chase's jump to save Ryder in the first Paw Patrol movie so stupidly unrealistic? Sit down. Shut up. And listen to this sh*t. Just kidding. Your feelings are important. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #34 Allowance, Money, and the Fair Market Value of 1,000 Swedish Fish | 20 Dec 2023 | 00:20:53 | |
The Second half of a two part episode on chores and allowance: Man, oh man - it's hard to think of a much more fraught subject than MONEY. Is it the root of all evil, or the thing that makes the world go round? Maybe a little bit of both? Like it or not, developing a healthy relationship with money and a basic knowledge of how to manage it makes a huge difference in your stress level, sense of self-worth, and quality of life. So, when is the right time to start introducing our kids to the concept, and what's the best way to do it? Are we paying for chores, or setting up a monthly stipend? Do parents get a vote on purchases, or is it truly their money to spend? And how do we balance the knowledge that kids learn things best when they're young, with the truth that money (not just the dollars and cents of it, but the cultural significance it commands) is an awfully heavy idea to carry. This episode, like all the other ones, is totally free. We're still working out the economics of that setup. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #33 Chores, Cleanup, and How to Avoid Picking Up After Your Kids (as much) | 14 Dec 2023 | 00:28:34 | |
Doing chores is about more than keeping the house clean. It's one of the first ways kids learn how to pull their weight as part of a team. It's also pretty reasonable to ask for their help, given that they are the kings and queens of absolutely destroying your GD house. And studies show that chores are insanely good for a child's development (and becoming a well adjusted adult - makes sense). So how do you get young brains to buy into the often tedious tasks required to run a home? How do you find the right jobs for them - where they can actually help without breaking things or creating more work for you? And is there a place for chores that are just for their own sake, even when they don't actually make your life that much easier. This is part one of a two parter (part two tackles allowance and money), so grab a dish towel, put in your headphones, and let's get to work. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #68 Being Exhausted and Finding the Kids Annoying | 22 Aug 2024 | 00:23:02 | |
Matt and Max talk about how Max has been tired for the past four days and how his kids have been annoying him to no end. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #32 On Gifts: Crushing the Present Game while Trying to Dodge the Materialism | 06 Dec 2023 | 00:34:01 | |
Holy crap, kids really, really like getting presents... and as parents, we kind of like giving them. But it's an expensive world, and materialism is a real thing, and so are spoiled kids, and this country sure does work hard to get you to buy things you don't need - especially around the holidays. So, how do you strike the balance between the magic of thoughtful gift-giving and the pitfalls of going way too hard on prezzies? There's no right answer here, but Max and Matt dive into their approaches to gifts in addition to providing a bit of a holiday gift guide for your kids and partner. Experiences versus objects of significance, Black Friday Amazon sprees versus the DIY approach, big surprises versus that pair of boots your wife has explicitly told you she wants. This ain't just for the kids either. The grandparents and spouses shouldn't get left off the Nice List. So here it is, our holiday gift to you... we guarantee it's worth every penny. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #31 The Dad Episode: Guest Appearance On Caitlin Murray’s Big Time Adulting | 28 Nov 2023 | 00:33:52 | |
A couple of months back, we had one of our absolute favorite people in the world, Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting on Episode 22 of MILKLESS. Right around that time, we actually went on HER podcast too. Well, we're going to play you that episode in full... here... on our show. Here's the Big Time Adulting Podcast's original description of the episode: Tune into this dynamic conversation between Caitlin and the dads as they explore topics like masculinity, equity in the home, scorekeeping, mental load, division of labor, and how men can show up more equally in the parenting game. @milklesspodcast Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #30 The Extended Family Visit: Trying Not to Murder the People You Love Most | 21 Nov 2023 | 00:35:28 | |
'Tis the season: to load up your kids and go visit the the in-laws... or maybe it's your parents, or a sibling, or maybe they're even coming to you! Given that 'the grandparents' already raised you, how much should they partake in the child support during an extended family visit? No matter how you slice it, putting multiple nuclear families together under one roof can be fraught... but it can also be pretty freakin' great. There's nothing quite like watching your kids tear around with their cousins. And hey, your siblings are the only other people who know all the ways your parents are crazy! It's worth the effort to make it work. So, how do you navigate all the old minefields and remember to enjoy the people you love. From political divides to sibling rivalries, dietary restrictions to different bedtimes - Max and Matt run the gauntlet that is the extended family vacation. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #29 NO! | 14 Nov 2023 | 00:37:52 | |
There aren't a whole lot of things that make Max and Matt lose their cool faster than a hard, "NO" from one of their offspring. Incidentally, those two letters aren't the kids' favorite ones to hear either. So, how do you set necessary limits without ending up in unnecessary power struggles? How do you give your kids a voice in decision making without living your life in a state of constant negotiation? And how do you parse out which parts of the conflict are inevitable, and which parts are about the unresolved baggage we're bringing to the table as adults? You WILL listen to this episode, and you're going to LIKE IT... because mandating other people's feelings works every time. Let's NO! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #28 Quality Screen Time: Awesome Stuff You’d Never Think to Show Your Kids | 08 Nov 2023 | 00:23:11 | |
Look, Frozen is great! Bluey is unbelievable! Paw Patrol is... an incredibly lucrative business. But by the 11th viewing, they are all the worst thing you've ever seen - and mostly your kid ends up watching them alone while you zone out on your phone. Max and Matt are diving into an alternate take on screen time with your kids - one filled with great films, dope music videos, and sketch comedy that's just as funny to you as it is to a five year old. With a little research (and some time on Common Sense Media), this can be a truly shared experience - instead of a way to kill an afternoon. So, grab some popcorn and settle in. Tonight we're gonna watch something GOOD. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #27 Kids’ Fears: Bedtime, Bad Guys, and Separation Anxiety + Cultivating Bravery | 31 Oct 2023 | 00:34:14 | |
Loud noises, separation anxiety, monsters under the bed, scary movies, and "Holy sh*t, Dad - I'm gonna die someday?!" Max and Matt are venturing into the deep, dark wood that is childhood fears. How do you help your kids navigate scary stuff, when the part of their brain that freaks them out is better developed than the part that calms them down? What's the balance between sheltering, comforting, and providing young people the tools to face a world that can sometimes be legitimately terrifying? And how can stories - even spooky ones - help your kid feel like an empowered protagonist in that world? It’s Halloween, y’all! Wait until dark, grab a handful of your kids' trick-or-treating candy (they'll never notice), and take a walk with us on the dark side... Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #26 Outings, Errands, and the Public Adoration Dads Get for Just… Parenting | 24 Oct 2023 | 00:20:19 | |
There is nothing worse than staring at your own four walls, counting the minutes until bedtime while your children slowly chip away at the last shreds of your sanity. But there's a cure for this affliction! Sometimes you just gotta GTFO o' the house! Is it easy? No! Does it go smoothly every time? Of course not! Is parenting in public occasionally a clusterf*ck? Sure! But taking your kids out into the world - whether it's an enriching library trip, or just an errand at the drug store - can be an amazing way to create adventure, stay present, and build closeness with your kids. Max and Matt dig into everything from outdoor excursions, to car time, to restaurants with toddlers. The Boys share tricks, tips, and outing ideas that have worked best for them. And they discuss why exposing your kids to the world, and all the crazy people out there in it, is an amazing (if frequently stressful) part of being a parent. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #25 Food Dyes, Additives, and Healthy Kids sans Panic with @thefoodbabe | 18 Oct 2023 | 00:35:42 | |
We've got Vani Hari, AKA The Food Babe joining us this week! As a mother, author, cook, and activist, Vani has been able to rally her Food Babe Army of 1.5MM followers to hold massive food companies accountable for their practices. She's even gotten corporations like Kraft and General Mills to actually change some of the ingredients in their products. Holy sh*t! Who does that? With a new cookbook out this week (Food Babe Family), Vani is on a mission to help parents navigate a world of additives, dyes, and unhealthy food. Max and Matt (who are definitely on board but also a little less discerning about what they stuff in their faces) mix it up with Vani - trying to strike a balance between keeping their kids healthy and not freaking the f*ck out over every piece of candy. Vani's meteoric rise has not been without controversy, and the wide-ranging conversation spans everything from the FDA approval process, to getting your kids to eat their vegetables, to a social media influencers' responsibility to their followers. This one's a doozy, so grab a Twinkie and crank the volume. Let's go! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #24 On Siblings: Epic Fights, Lifelong Besties, and Screaming Over Monopoly | 12 Oct 2023 | 00:39:07 | |
Raising one kid feels like a lot, and then you have MORE of them and holy sh*t, the struggle is real. It's not just the exponential increase in exhaustion, navigating sibling dynamics is no joke. Older kid displacement. Younger Kid disadvantage. Middle kid... disappearance? How can we help our little hellions work through the complex dynamics of siblinghood, and when should we let them figure it out themselves? What does it look like to parent a baby and a five-year old at the same time? And how rough is... too rough? We're just scratching the surface of a HUGE topic, and one we'll definitely come back to - because this is about supporting what we hope will be some of the most important relationships in our kids' lives. Also, Matt and Max can talk about whatever they want, because YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF THEM. Not touching you. Can't get mad. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #23 Come On! Hurry Up!! Getting Out the GD Door w/o Constantly Rushing the Kids | 03 Oct 2023 | 00:30:19 | |
HOLY SH*T KIDS ARE SO F'ING SLOW! It's just the truth. Our children do NOT move as quickly as we do. They don't hold onto urgency (a butterfly is STILL worth looking at, even when the plane leaves in an hour), and it often feels like the more you push, the harder they pull. Those "Hurry Up!" arguments are the worst, so how do we maintain some modicum of punctuality without constantly rushing our kids? Can you train your pokey hellions to get a move on when they really need to, while still allowing for the leisurely ultra-presence that makes childhood so special? And - in a world obsessed pace and productivity - how can we remind ourselves to make the distinction between moments when the urgency is real, and times when it honestly doesn't matter. Press play. Hurry up. Do it. Do it!! Holy hell, take forever, why don't you?! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #67 Put your Damn Shoes On! With Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting (Pt. 1) | 21 Aug 2024 | 00:35:54 | |
One of the toughest parts about parenting is all the other examples we see of it around us every day. Whether it's a parenting influencer telling you how to handle tantrums better, or your high school friends posting pictures of the amazing arts & crafts they've done with their kids, it's easy to feel like you're not stacking up. Max and Matt have their good friend Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting on to explore why sometimes getting parenting advice from experts makes their blood boil. Is it that we didn't use the right words during our attempt to diffuse a tantrum? Or was it that we didn't have our own sh*t together? Caitlin is absolutely hilarious and if you haven't checked out her instagram, @bigtimeadulting, do it now. You'll laugh your ass of and feel truly seen as a parent in today's world. And it'll also give you some insight into why this episode had us laughing so much. This is part one of a two parter. Enjoy! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #22 Parental Guilt + Mom’s Batman Voice with Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting | 26 Sep 2023 | 00:39:20 | |
One of the toughest parts about parenting is that you frequently end up feeling like you’re failing at the thing you care about most. Parental Guilt is f*cking real! It’s a hard job to do well, and an impossible one to do perfectly. And, Man, do the stakes feel high. So how do you take it easy on yourself, while still aiming at a legendary standard? How do you snatch moments of calm, when your kids are hollering your name on repeat? And how clutch are earnest apologies in a world full of imperfect people? Matt and Max are going to ask Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting about it, because she’s been taking on parental guilt for years… hilariously, and in public. Her blend of brutal honesty and comedic talent has earned her more than a million followers, many of whom count on her to make them feel a little less crazy - and guilty - on the hard days. Get yourself a snack. Let’s go! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #21 Bonus Episode: Who ARE those guys? | 14 Sep 2023 | 00:34:59 | |
Some people on Instagram have been asking @milklesspodcast about just who Max and Matt actually are. Here's the answer, Raw and Uncut! Childhood, marriage, career - the boys cover the whole enchilada in this candid and informal bonus episode. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #20 Hot Takes | The Best Part of Having Kids (things we hold onto when it sucks) | 29 Aug 2023 | 00:17:01 | |
It's the Season 1 Finale! Not that big a deal, actually, Matt and Max'll be back at it in a few weeks - but it did feel like a good excuse to riff on some of the absolute BEST parts about being a Dad. From laughing your ass off at the dinner table, to having a tiny hype man tell their friends how strong you are - the whole parenting gig comes with some pretty tasty perks. This isn't about ignoring the hard parts - The Boys have spent much of the first nineteen episodes trying to stumble their way through those. But that's what makes remembering the good stuff so important! In the day-to-day grind of life, it can be easy to forget the wins, and a little shot of good vibes goes a long way when the Gremlins won't go the f*ck to sleep. Hopefully this episode sparks a few good memories from your own household, and maybe gives you a trick or two for keeping those types of things near the front of your mind. Parenting isn't a fairytale or a nightmare... it's both! And today we honor the first part. Let's ride. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||
| #19 Worry, Anxiety, and a Poetry Reading That’ll Blow Your C*ck Off | 23 Aug 2023 | 00:27:34 | |
Don't know about you, but Max and Matt both kind of wish somebody had told them that having kids meant signing up for a lifetime of worry. Some of that anxiety is inevitable. As parents, we all have to reconcile the fact that our favorite tiny humans will go out and encounter a world that can be scary and unpredictable. And as mammals, it's our job to protect the offspring, so the Mama/Papa bear instinct needs to be strong. But how do you keep that natural parental worry from slipping into its unproductive big brother, persistent anxiety - especially in an era of rapid change, nonstop incoming information, and 24/7 news that's designed to scare the sh*t out of us. The Boys dive into it all, from sweating it around swimming pools, to pouring over finances, and hand-wringing about the state of the world. The chaos of life isn't going anywhere, so it's all about getting ourselves in a place to meet that uncertainty with confidence and calm. Sleep, exercise, the great outdoors, therapy - Max and Matt talk about the tools and practices they lean on to quiet those internal voices that like to freak the f*ck out. Let's do this! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here | |||