Seth Duffy’s wife knew he was bisexual before they got married. But for years, Seth still felt like he had to bury part of himself — living publicly straight, privately questioning where he belonged, and never feeling completely at home in either straight or gay spaces.
In this episode of Middle Men, Seth talks openly about growing up with attraction to both men and women, exploring that attraction as a teenager, getting married, being unexpectedly outed to his family on Facebook, dating both women and men, and what it’s like to constantly feel like you have to “edit” yourself depending on the room you’re in.
Today, Seth is a Business Advisor and Wellness Coach living in St. Petersburg, Florida. He’s currently in a relationship with a man — but still identifies as bisexual and says one of the hardest parts of being bi is that people constantly try to put him into one box or the other.
We talk about bisexuality, masculinity, coming out, relationships, monogamy, workplace stigma, gay culture, straight culture, mental health, authenticity, belonging, and what happens when you don’t fit neatly into either world.
One of Seth’s biggest realizations: sometimes the hardest part isn’t figuring out who you are. It’s finding a place where you can be all of who you are at once.
⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 Married To A Woman As A Bi Man
06:58 How the Marriage Ended
11:22 Wired To Live Authentically
13:30 Never Asked For An Open Marriage
17:33 Origin Story: Turkey, East Coast, Pittsburgh, West Virginia, Florida
19:54 First Signs of Being Bi25:30 The First Quasi Boyfriend
30:51 Getting Outed On Social Media
36:57 You’ll Never Stop Coming Out As Bi
38:29 The Life Challenges Of Being A Middle Man
52:59 Gays Think You’re Gay, Women Think You’re Kryptonite
56:02 Bi With A Boyfriend
1:01:46 Lack Of Spaces Where I Can Be My True Self
1:08:03 Editing Myself In Straight And Gay Spaces
1:11:39 The Only Space Where I Can Be My True Self
1:16:30 Support From Straight And Gay Communities
1:24:00 Who Middle Men Is For
1:25:11 Seth’s Advice for Middle Men
📖 READ THE ARTICLE
Seth Duffy also wrote an article based on our conversation in this episode. You can read it here:
”Too Straight For Glitter, Too Gay For Fantasy Football: The High Cost of the Daily Self Edit”https://substack.com/home/post/p-213443123
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