Explore every episode of the podcast Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam shares a selection of clips from his social media where he has debunked alpha male talking points. This is a collection of shorter videos.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Freya, a sex coach and educator and host of The Labia Lounge. They discuss her “Find Freya a Fella” hybrid PR/social experiment aimed at finding a partner while documenting modern dating frustrations like app fatigue, micro-rejections, loneliness, and Australia’s “nonchalance” about showing interest. Boycotting apps, she attends Melbourne singles events and practices meeting people “in the wild” by initiating conversations, being more approachable, and building community to counter scarcity mindset. They explore ethical “practice” in approaching strangers, attunement to cues, reducing pressure by reframing dates, and her idea for a “Mates and Dates” mixer. Freya shares mixed results—some dates but no long-term match—plus stigma women face for openly wanting commitment, and where to follow the campaign online.

Key points:

07:08 Why Dating Feels Broken

11:43 Meeting People Offline

15:39 Mindset And Scarcity

18:09 Approaching With Respect

26:43 Results And Stigma

31:21 What Makes A Good Date

38:18 Effort, Nonchalance, and Clarity

51:23 Where To Follow Along

Is OnlyFans Social Media? Intimacy, Ethics, and

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam interviews Monash University research fellow Emily van der Nagel about her research and book on OnlyFans, focusing on media literacy, platform design, and adult content creation. They discuss the centrality of direct messages for intimacy, monetisation, risks of deception, and parasocial harm. They address creator agency, boundary-setting, audience pressure, demographic uncertainty due to platform secrecy, and how AI may reshape authenticity expectations, disclosure, and trust.

Key points:

01:33 Is OnlyFans Social Media?

04:58 Creator Versus Subscriber

06:24 DMs And Money

08:25 Chatbots And Trust

24:53 Ethical Porn Debate

29:09 Leaks And Consent

33:30 Audience Pressure

40:15 AI And The Future

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Rae Szereszewski, a sexual health educator and relationship coach, to discuss sexual choking/strangulation, noting there is no fully safe way but there are harm-reduction approaches and a need for teen education beyond pregnancy/STIs given porn influence. Rae reframes STI education as “not if, but when,” focuses on non-stigmatizing disclosure and communication, advocates “team disclosure." They also cover sex-positive space etiquette, consent as a spectrum, and aligning words and actions with better check-ins.

Key Points:

08:12 Why Kink Feels Good

16:32 Adult Sex Ed on STIs

29:05 Free Testing Access

35:11 Kink Scene Etiquette

40:51 Consent Beyond Asking

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, we take a trip down memory lane as Cam shares a presentation he gave at Camp Lovehoney back in 2020. He explains how toys and lube can support sexual health and pleasure, including using masturbators to help premature ejaculation and erectile difficulties by retraining stroke patterns and reducing friction, and using edging to prolong arousal. Cam highlights prostate play as a pathway to non-ejaculatory prostate orgasms, multi-orgasmic potential, and greater empathy as a penetrative partner, citing survey findings that partners of men who’ve explored anal penetration report higher satisfaction. He shares Lovehoney study stats on toy use and reviews products including a thrusting masturbator with dirty-talk audio, a vibrating couples ring, and a remote-controlled prostate massager, plus previews upcoming BlowMotion masturbators and answers audience questions.

Key points:

06:56 Toys For Performance And Control

11:10 Edging And Prostate Orgasms

19:18 Thrusting Masturbator Demo

24:54 Couples Vibrating Ring

28:27 Remote Prostate Massager Review

30:16 New BlowMotion Teaser

32:55 Lube And Toy Care Basics

33:32 Audience Q&A

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam discusses how medicine, culture, and commerce intersect in social-media health narratives with Emma Grundtvig Gram, PhD. They unpack Emma's research focusing on “low T” content on TikTok and Instagram. She explains her content-analysis study examining how influencers promote testosterone testing and treatment through narratives rather than evidence, often linking testosterone to confidence, dominance, success, muscles, sexual performance, leadership, and happiness while framing ordinary experiences (fatigue, stress, weight gain, stalled gym progress, sexual fluctuations) as signs of deficiency. The conversation covers regressive gender ideas, disparagement of femininity, manosphere links, optimisation/T-maxing pressures, appeals to fear of aging and masculinity loss, and concerns about young men as long-term consumers.

Key Points:03:07 Why Study "Low T"08:05 Disease Mongering Explained16:36 Sexuality Framed As Deficiency27:46 The Optimisation Trap37:30 Homosocial And Homoerotic Ads41:18 Parasocial Trust And Algorithms44:33 Healthier Testosterone Talk

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Stephanie Ganowski. They discuss how porn and online masculinity messaging create unrealistic expectations, and explain the mechanism of performance anxiety as a fight-or-flight nervous system response that disrupts arousal and erections and can speed ejaculation. Stephanie emphasizes pairing physical techniques (breathing, pelvic floor work) with mindset changes, including answering “what if” thoughts in advance to reduce uncertainty and build trust. Both advocate reframing sex from penis-centered performance to pleasure, presence, and connection, encouraging non-linear intimacy and better communication with partners, including using third-party prompts like podcasts. Stephanie shares her iOS app Ronin, a guided masturbation/meditation tool to build confidence, reduce porn reliance, and train arousal skills.

Key Points:07:01 Nervous System Breakdown13:15 Redefining Great Sex24:22 PE vs ED Practices29:25 Couples Talk About Sex34:31 Handling Hard Feedback41:39 Toys Lube And Solo Practice

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Jordan Walker, an RSE specialist working with teens (including neurodivergent and trauma-affected youth) in Western Australia. They discuss boys seeking connection online via manosphere content, the loss of third spaces and community sport, the role of parents and upskilled coaches, and the need for facilitated, mixed-gender discussions to build conflict-resolution skills.

Key points:

06:09 Consent Teaching Pitfalls

18:59 What Boys Need Now

20:38 Manosphere And Porn Influence

27:29 Parents and Schools Role

35:19 Connection Seeking and AI Companions

39:11 Teaching Consent Online

45:18 When We Avoid Hard Talks

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Seán Forde Kelly, coach and founder of the sexual wellness nonprofit Come What May. They discuss how shame blocks sexual openness, and how it dissipates when stories are shared safely through emotional release and validation. They also explore accountability for harmful male behaviour, the role of “healthy shame,” the idea of a “predator” or primal impulse in men, and improving consent education through embodied practices.

Key points:01:04 What Sexual Wellness Means09:19 Shame vs Guilt Explained19:41 Accountability for Abuse30:02 Embodied Consent Practices34:13 Coercion and Power Dynamics39:34 Teaching Consent to Youth

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Pamela Madsen, a U.S.-based sex educator specializing in hands-on somatic education, discusses eroticism as full-body passion rather than orgasm-focused performance. We explore how goal-oriented “purpose” messaging can turn sex into pressure around erections, penetration, and climax, while many women primarily want attention, eye contact, and presence. We distinguish quick, private masturbation habits from partnered intimacy and suggest building “erotic endurance” through non-genital touch like massage, slowing down even more, and starting connection before the bedroom.

Key Points:

02:59 Purpose Versus Pleasure

08:02 Presence And Attention

10:45 Masturbation Habits And Porn

18:58 Erotic Endurance Mindset

28:46 Play As A Portal

30:49 Roleplay And Avatars

33:50 Bringing Intention Back

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, sexuality coach Brett Matthews shares how his own early struggles with shame, anxiety, and unworthiness around sex became the “wound” that led him into embodiment work and coaching. We discuss how many clients seek help at crisis points, how porn and disembodied self-pleasure can condition performance habits, and why foundational practices like body awareness, deeper breathing, nervous-system regulation, subconscious retraining/hypnotherapy, and arousal training matter. We also explore performance anxiety’s roots in feeling “not enough,” fear of abandonment, and the power of vulnerability and partner communication.

Key Points:

06:50 Porn Conditioning Effects

10:48 Core Practices For Men

16:53 Anxiety And "Not Enough"

26:23 Long Term Relationship Repair

30:53 Initiation And Manhood

37:38 Celibacy And Self Identity

45:01 Initiation Through Pleasure

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam interviews Susan Bratton, author and publisher of 44 books and programs on heart-connected, pleasure-focused “orgasmic intimacy,” reframing sex beyond intercourse to full-body sensual touch, communication, oral pleasuring, yoni massage, and orgasmic intercourse that considers what the vagina wants. She argues sex can improve with age, supports healthspan and happiness, and is an overlooked “fourth factor of longevity” alongside sleep, nutrition, and movement. They discuss barriers like religious repression, patriarchy, porn-driven performance scripts, and poor sexual literacy, and agree pleasure can fuel broader systemic change. Practical steps include dropping agendas and performance goals, slowing down with holding, adoration and verbal encouragement for safety, massage to reduce tension, “bullseye” touch to build arousal over time, normalizing erection fluctuations, and exploring 69 and varied thrusting techniques. Key Points:04:45 Sex as Longevity Pillar12:11 Systems vs Personal Pleasure25:09 Soothing Touch and Care28:34 Beyond Piston Sex30:57 Massage Skill Calibration32:03 Lady Boner Bloodflow45:18 Ecstatic Sex Roadmap

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam interviews Ali Gilbert, a coach known as the “Queen of Men’s Health,” who works with high-performing men over 40 through an integrated model combining medical, training, nutrition, lifestyle, and recovery support to reduce decision fatigue. They discuss how men often follow fragmented advice from multiple experts, switch strategies too quickly, and struggle to isolate what actually works, emphasizing coordinated communication across providers. Common goals include energy, longevity, body composition, and guidance around TRT, including proper dosing, lab monitoring, and the reality that TRT is typically a lifetime commitment when well managed. They also explore how male sexual concerns are often oversimplified as “testosterone or pills,” highlighting stress, anxiety, relationship dynamics, and other hormonal factors (thyroid, DHEA, pregnenolone) as key influences, and the importance of normalizing “boner talk” and focusing on root causes rather than quick fixes.

Key points:

05:42 TRT Myths And Symptoms

11:59 Stress Kills Libido

20:18 Performance Anxiety Trap

25:41 Handling Higher Libido

33:54 Beyond Testosterone Alone

39:15 Final Takeaways and Thanks

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Caitlin V, a sex and relationship coach, YouTuber, HBO Max host, and author of "Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger," outlines her decade of work primarily with men experiencing performance anxiety. She emphasizes shifting from performance and comparison to an experiential focus on pleasure, communication, and treating sexual challenges as data. We also discuss fear, homophobia, and manosphere grifts.

Key Points:

05:47 Beyond Premature Ejaculation

13:25 Performance vs Pleasure

19:24 Fear and Masculinity

23:23 Manosphere Grifts

37:44 Fear of Pleasure

42:17 Performance vs Receiving

48:54 Erotic Libraries and Porn

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Vanessa Cuccia, founder of Chakrubs and an interdisciplinary musician, shares how a period of healing from a toxic relationship, her work at an adult store, and exposure to crystals at a spiritual gathering sparked the idea of crystal pleasure tools for both pleasure and emotional support.

Key Points:

04:30 Making Crystal Toys

11:54 Safety and Contraindications

14:03 Introducing Toys Intentionally

19:58 Ritual Methods and Moon Charging

24:31 Obsidian Anal Plug and Shame

31:21 Curiosity Over Rules

38:59 Depth Versus Play

42:23 Pressure Free Pleasure

This episode of #mensexpleasure features marriage, relationship, and intimacy coach Monica Tanner, who shares her background, including her parents’ divorce at 12, 23 years of marriage, and her work helping couples build connection and intimacy while aiming to reduce divorce. We discuss common marriage breakdown areas—communication, sex, money, and parenting—and how sex issues can feel larger when overall connection is weak, particularly for men who often experience closeness through physical intimacy.

Key points:

02:16 Why Marriages Fail

12:49 Debunking Marriage Cliches

18:16 Collaboration Over Compromise

24:13 Modern Gender Roles

29:19 Three Step Request Method

39:01 Repair Is One Way Street

45:16 Eight Sentence Repair Script

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure, host Cam Fraser delves into the issues surrounding AI-generated deepfake abuse, featuring insights from guest Noelle Martin, a PhD candidate, lawyer, and global activist. Noelle sheds light on the harmful impacts of deepfake technology, particularly on women and girls, and discusses Australia's position and challenges in addressing online image-based abuse. The conversation highlights the importance of scrutinizing and enforcing regulations, the role of tech companies, and the need for a multifaceted approach including education, legal action, and grassroots activism. Cam and Noelle address the societal and cultural aspects underpinning this abuse, offering both despair and hope through advocacy and legal reforms.

Key points:

03:17 Challenges in Enforcing Online Safety Laws

06:50 Global Nature of Image-Based Abuse

10:48 Educational Approaches and Challenges

25:44 Societal and Cultural Issues

36:19 Call to Action and Conclusion

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Jeff Bennett, founder and CEO of Morari Medical, returns to answers questions about his personal and professional background, his passion for improving men's sexual health, and the evolution of his company. Jeff shares significant milestones, including receiving FDA clearance for their product, which aims to enhance sexual performance by delivering mild electrical stimulation to the perineum. He discusses the challenges and triumphs in getting regulatory approval, the intricacies of product development, and the importance of patient safety and confidentiality. Jeff also highlights the company's strategic marketing efforts, their focus on couples in committed relationships, and future plans to expand internationally. The episode delves into the technical aspects of the product, the motivations behind it, and the broader implications of advancing sexual health and wellness.

Key points:

04:12 FDA Approval Process

25:55 Navigating Regulatory Challenges

28:54 Personal Journey and Entrepreneurial Insights

35:08 Setting Realistic Expectations

37:42 App Integration and Data Privacy

43:50 Target Market and Future Plans

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Lee Chambers discusses his diverse roles as a father, educator, psychologist, and author, while emphasizing his fascination with human behavior and interaction. He shares his journey of understanding masculinity, gender dynamics, and generational perspectives on these issues. Lee's experiences, including overcoming a severe health challenge and exploring personal and professional growth, have shaped his insights. The discussion touches on the motivations behind Male Allies UK, challenges faced by teenage boys in today's digital world, and the importance of creating supportive environments for personal development. Cam and Lee delve into the complexities of competitiveness and the psychological and social impacts of modern technology on young people.

Key Points:06:15 Reflections on Competitiveness12:14 Navigating Modern Masculinity21:06 Challenges of Young Men Today24:29 The Influence of Technology and Social Media32:19 The Importance of Offline Interaction for Boys47:51 Teenage Loneliness and AI Companions55:26 Economic Concerns and Future Uncertainty59:29 Reflecting on the Pandemic's Impact

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam is joined by his brother Callum to explore the story of Geddings David Osbon, an automotive shop worker from South Carolina who invented the penis pump.

Key points:

01:33 Geddings' Early Life and Family

09:50 The Birth of the Penis Pump

17:52 Challenges and Acceptance

25:33 FDA Approval and Market Breakthrough

30:05 Family Legacy and Business Expansion

43:09 Third Generation and Modern Era

44:52 Reflections and Final Thoughts

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, Isiah McKimmie, a couples counselor and sexologist with 15 years of experience, discusses strategies for helping individuals and couples build healthier relationships and improve their sex lives. Isiah emphasizes the importance of discussing difficult topics outside the bedroom in low-stakes situations to foster better communication inside the bedroom. She highlights the impact of sexual challenges on overall well-being and offers insights into addressing common issues such as mismatched libidos, sexual dysfunction, and emotional disconnection. The discussion also covers the benefits of engaging in playful activities to bond with partners and new approaches to therapy, including couples retreats designed to provide a relaxing yet insightful experience. The conversation is rich with practical advice and underlines the need for empathy, structured communication, and creative solutions in nurturing intimate relationships.

Key Points:

02:39 Two-Way Street of Sexual Dysfunction

09:51 Games and Activities to Improve Intimacy

15:57 Navigating Mismatched Libidos

22:53 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in Relationships

23:45 The Need for Non-Sexual Physical Intimacy

29:02 Exploring the Erotic Menu Concept

32:53 Introducing Couples Retreats for Relationship Enhancement

37:50 Addressing Anxiety and Pressure in Romantic Getaways

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Jessica Soares, also known as the Erotic Muse or the Holy Hedonist, shares insights into her unique career as an erotic artist and experience designer. Jessica discusses her passion for fostering creativity and helping individuals live authentically. She delves into the nuances of creating erotic audio content aimed at arousal and its impact on both creator and consumer. Additionally, the conversation explores the complexities around authenticity, societal perceptions of erotic content, and the importance of paying for such artistry. We also touch upon Jessica’s methods for cultivating a shame-free environment and the evolving landscape of sexuality work.

Key points:

00:32 Meet Jessica Soares: The Erotic Muse

04:48 Navigating Public Perception and Erotic Content

16:21 Permission vs. Prescription in Sexual Expression

27:06 Embracing Arousal in Practice

27:31 Creating Erotic Audio for Men

28:20 Guided Self-Pleasure Practices

29:04 Retention and Edging Techniques

31:53 Defining Pornography and Erotica

42:17 Supporting Erotic Artists

Relevant links:

https://patreon.com/HolyHetaira

www.theroticmuse.com

CODE for 25% off first month of membership: MSP25

In this episode, Mike Andryszewski shares his personal and professional journey in the realm of bodywork, sexuality, and spirituality. Mike discusses his background as a bodyworker and the various modalities he incorporates into his practice, including Thai massage, myofascial release, and craniosacral therapy. He emphasizes the importance of integrating mind-body connection and addressing deeper emotional issues through therapeutic touch. Mike also opens up about his experiences with premature ejaculation, sexual shame, and the transformative power of open communication with partners. The conversation delves into Mike's time as a celibate monk in a Hari Krishna ashram, his subsequent sexual renaissance, and how he reconciles his spirituality with his sexuality. The discussion culminates in the significance of connecting with nature and sensuality as a means to enhance both sexual and spiritual well-being.

Key points:

00:00 Introduction and Hot Seat Questions

00:20 Mike's Background and Passion

01:57 Exploring Body Work

04:53 Integrating Coaching and Body Work

07:48 Personal Journey and Sexual Renaissance

12:22 Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

20:16 The Role of Communication in Sexual Health

27:46 Managing Shame and Expectations in Sexual Experiences

30:33 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Relationships

32:26 Exploring Spirituality and Sexuality

38:30 Integrating Spiritual Practices into Sexual Experiences

42:41 Connecting with Nature and Sensuality

47:13 Final Thoughts and Practical Advice

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam intterviews Alex, a men's sex coach, about authenticity in male sexuality. Alex shares his personal journey and experiences with societal pressures that shaped his early sexual experiences, including performance anxiety and the influence of substance abuse. Cam and Alex discuss the transition towards a more genuine, shame-free sexual expression. They explore how societal messages and stereotypes impact not only their sex lives but also their broader relationships and mental health. They emphasise the importance of open communication, vulnerability, and self-exploration to understand one's unique sexual blueprint. By overcoming fear and anxiety, they advocate for embracing one's authentic sexual self. The episode also touches on the significance of nervous system regulation in dealing with sexual anxieties and the role of men's support groups in facilitating open conversations about these issues.

Key points:

00:00 Introduction and Opening Questions

00:47 Defining Authentic Sexuality

01:52 Societal Expectations and Masculinity

03:05 Personal Struggles with Sexual Performance

05:30 Journey to Sobriety and Self-Discovery

07:23 Facing Shame and Embracing Authenticity

15:33 Navigating Nervous System Responses

17:22 Breathwork and Nervous System Regulation

21:08 Communicating Sexual Desires with Partners

25:10 The Importance of Vulnerability

29:46 The Struggle of Asking for Help

30:05 Acknowledging the Need for Help

31:07 Vulnerability in Discussing Sexual Issues

31:59 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Understanding

33:20 The Power of Erotic Blueprints

35:14 The Fluidity of Sexual Desires

38:31 Breaking Free from Masturbation Habits

40:39 Navigating Shame and Self-Pleasure

42:29 The Anxiety Around Ejaculation

49:10 The Importance of Vulnerability in Men's Groups

50:16 Closing Thoughts and Where to Find More

On this episode, Cam interviews returning guest Kiki Maree, a sexologist, who discusses her passion for helping individuals express and understand their sexuality more authentically. The conversation covers the significant impact of body image on sexual satisfaction and the importance of understanding the fluidity of sexuality throughout life stages. Kiki shares insights on normalizing changes in sexual desire and function, particularly in relation to the menstrual cycle and life transitions such as parenthood and menopause. Cam adds his perspective on supporting men in accepting changes in their bodies and sexual function, highlighting the influence of media and societal expectations on self-perception. They also address practical tools and strategies for improving body image and sexual satisfaction, including focusing on body functionality and finding relatable representations in media. The episode concludes with a discussion on fostering a positive relationship with one's body, both individually and within intimate partnerships.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:04 Understanding Sexuality and Menstrual Cycle

04:29 Body Image Issues in Sexuality

08:00 Impact of Body Image on Intimacy

16:43 Strategies for Positive Body Image

26:02 Practical Tips for Self-Compassion

35:11 The Reality of Porn Representation

36:24 Finding Authentic Representation

37:52 Exposure to Diverse Bodies

42:41 Personal Journey to Body Acceptance

46:21 The Influence of Social Media on Body Image

51:36 Reframing Exercise and Diet Culture

55:38 Conclusion and Resources

Free Body Image Masterclass: https://www.wixforms.com/f/7398981604351149056

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Nikki Justice—award-winning comedian, mother, and OnlyFans creator—about turning pain into punchlines and reclaiming power through comedy, courage, and self-expression. After a divorce during the pandemic, Nikki stumbled into stand-up, transforming her unconventional life and past struggles into bold, unapologetic storytelling.

We explore the realities of being a woman in comedy and sex work, navigating online hate and societal judgment, and how humour can be both rebellion and release. Nikki also shares the inspiration behind her daring new show, The Naked Truth—a fully nude stand-up performance that celebrates vulnerability, body confidence, and freedom from shame.

A raw, funny, and fearless conversation about resilience, reinvention, and the radical act of owning your story—on and off the stage.

Key Points:

@ 3:48 Finding comedy after divorce

@ 7:53 Facing judgment and online backlash

@ 21:44 Creating The Naked Truth

@ 27:00 Balancing humour, healing, and authenticity

Relevant Links:

Nikki Justice Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkijusticecomedy/

Nikki Justice Website:

https://www.nikkijustice.com.au/

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Annette Benedetti—Portland-based sex and intimacy coach, writer, and host of the acclaimed show Talk Sex With Annette—about reclaiming pleasure, power, and connection through curiosity and compassion. Ranked in the top 2.5% of podcasts globally, Annette’s work dives deep into taboo-breaking conversations around kink, trauma, and empowerment, informed by both her professional expertise and lived experience as a survivor.

We explore how cultural narratives and trauma shape our relationship with sexuality, the body, and intimacy—and how healing begins with awareness, consent, and curiosity. Annette shares practical insights on rebuilding trust and sensation after trauma, moving away from performance-based sex toward mutual exploration, and helping men appreciate their own bodies as worthy of pleasure and beauty.

A raw, empowering conversation about dismantling shame, embracing embodiment, and creating space for authentic healing and pleasure.

Key Points:
@ 0:52 Barriers to embracing feminine power
@ 4:39 Navigating trauma and its impacts
@ 9:43 Rebuilding trust and sensation after trauma
@ 16:31 Reframing goals and expectations around sex
@ 47:30 Appreciating the male form and body

Relevant Links:Annette Benedetti Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/Annette Benedetti YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Honey Brooks, a rural Australian mum, top OnlyFans creator, and bold voice redefining modern relationships—about navigating stigma, intimacy, and authenticity in the adult industry. From building a million-dollar business on her family farm to creating content with her husband, Honey shares her journey of creating content with her husband, including the importance of communication, trust, and respecting boundaries when sex and work intersect. We explore subscriber relationships, the responsibilities of adult creators, and the importance of fostering healthier conversations about sexuality. A candid and empowering dialogue on shame, connection, and writing your own rules.

Key Points:

@ 0:00 Introductions and background

@ 3:30 Navigating disclosure and stigma

@ 8:57 Creating content with a partner

@ 27:41 Audience and subscriber relationships

@ 42:39 Reflections on the adult industry

@ 48:43 Closing thoughts

Relevant links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/honeyybrooks/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@honeybrooks_

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak again with Leah Carey—sex and relationship coach based in the US who specializes in supporting people recovering from high-control or narcissistic abuse backgrounds. This time, we explore how trauma impacts intimacy, consent, and sexual connection. She explains how constant stress and lack of autonomy in childhood wire the brain for hypervigilance and fear, reducing creative problem-solving and shaping long-term challenges in relationships. We discuss why common self-care practices like meditation or journaling can be triggering for survivors, and explore trauma-sensitive alternatives that feel safer and more accessible. Leah also unpacks the complexities of intimacy and consent for those with trauma histories, including people-pleasing tendencies, blurred boundaries, and strategies for cultivating safe, pleasurable experiences. A deeply compassionate dialogue on recovery, autonomy, and reclaiming intimacy after control.

Key Points

@ 4:36 Impact of trauma on brain development

@ 12:27 Challenges with common self-care practices

@ 18:37 Navigating intimacy and consent

@ 50:59 Recap and resources

Relevant Links

Leah Carey Website: www.leahcarey.com

Leah’s Substack: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/

Leah Carey Instagram: @goodgirlstalk

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Lex Nyree, Melbourne-based sexologist, educator, and advocate for destigmatizing sexual health about the importance of open, shame-free conversations around STIs. With a background in youth and social work and currently completing her Master of Sexology, Lex brings a unique perspective to reducing stigma and normalizing topics often considered taboo. We discuss her practical and compassionate approach to STI education, focusing on common infections, transmission, treatment, and the role of disclosure and consent in building healthy intimacy. Lex also shares how resources like Let Them Know and creative educational tools can support people in navigating these conversations. A powerful dialogue on sexual health, communication, and breaking down stigma to create more informed and connected experiences of sex.

Key Points:

@ 1:51 Importance of destigmatizing STIs

@ 6:16 Strategies for STI education and prevention

@ 26:58 Disclosure and consent around STIs

@ 36:40 Understanding STI transmission and risk factors

@ 47:26 Resources and reliable information

Relevant Links:

Lex Nyree Instagram: @sexwithlexmelb

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Rob Kancler, men’s coach and facilitator drawing on Tantra, Taoism, and somatic practices about the developmental journey of male sexuality and intimacy. Rob shares how early experiences of isolation and confusion shape men’s long-term challenges with self-esteem, connection, and performance. We explore the role of the nervous system in intimacy, unpacking how fear-based responses like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn often disrupt presence and pleasure. Rob and I discuss reframing masculinity and responsibility in relationships, shifting away from rigid scripts toward curiosity, creativity, and authentic communication. A rich conversation on cultivating embodied intimacy, regulating the nervous system, and redefining what it means to lead with presence in sex and relationships.

Key Points:

@1:19 The development of male and intimacy

@4:29 Nervous system awareness and fear-based responses

@17:34 Reframing masculinity and responsibility in intimacy

@1:14:21 Closing reflections and resources

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I continue my conversation with Professor Alan McKee, who has spent decades studying pornography, pleasure, and sexual development. We dive into the legitimate problems with mainstream porn, including its narrow focus on penetration at the expense of female pleasure, its reinforcement of unrealistic beauty standards, and its lack of consent modeling. Alan and I also discuss how habitual porn use can create rigid “erotic pathways” that don’t always translate to real-life encounters, and why strategies for more mindful consumption are key. Together, we reflect on what it would take for sexual media to better represent diversity, consent, and connection, and how healthier pathways can support more positive experiences of sexuality.

Key Points:

2:10 Lack of variety in practices

15:38 Unrealistic beauty standards

23:27 Lack of consent modeling

36:16 Habitual and compulsive use

50:23 Recap and future directions

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I interview Professor Alan McKee, who has spent nearly three decades researching pornography and healthy sexual development. We discuss the need to include heterosexual men in sexual health conversations, debunk common myths about pornography, and emphasise the importance of open communication and sex education for healthy sexual attitudes. We also touch on the cultural shame surrounding sexuality and conclude with plans for a follow-up discussion on the real issues related to pornography.

Key points:

02:30 Research on Pornography and Sexual Health

06:17 Personal Stories of Shame and Sexuality

11:27 Misconceptions and Myths about Pornography

16:33 Youth and Exposure to Pornography

31:45 Debunking the Escalation Myth

41:57 Conclusion and Future Discussion

This episode of #mensexpleasure is a compilation of shorter videos I've posted on my social media over the last year about sex education. I delve into this contentious issue, addressing and debunking the talking points propagated by conservative commentators such as Candace Owens, Matt Walsh, and Ben Shapiro. I summarise the historical context of sex education, clarify misconceptions, and provide evidence against claims that sex education sexualises students, leads to increased sexual activity, or contributes to a rise in STIs. I also critique the rationale behind abstinence-only education and highlight the benefits of comprehensive sexuality education, including its role in reducing teen pregnancies and preventing sexual violence. Finally, this episode emphasises the importance of understanding the political and ethical motives driving opposition to sex ed and advocates for informed, reality-based discussions on the topic.

Key Points:

00:51 Historical Context of Sex Education in Schools

04:51 Conservative Critiques and Counterarguments

18:42 The Role of Parents in Sex Education

20:34 Conservative Push to Abolish Sex Education

24:55 Conservative Views on Teenage Pregnancy

26:45 Debunking Pornographic Sex Ed Allegations

30:45 Condom Relay Races and Misinformation

32:56 Sexuality Education in Europe and Misconceptions

38:10 Consent Education and Its Challenges

43:40 Choking During Sex: A Dangerous Trend

51:02 Conservative Rhetoric and the Value of Pleasure in Sex

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Shay Doran, a men’s coach who helps guys overcome performance anxiety and erection challenges. Shay shares his personal journey of leaving a corporate career after realizing how deeply these struggles were shaping his relationships and confidence, and why addressing them became his life’s work.

We discuss how performance anxiety often stems from childhood messages about worth and masculinity, and how those beliefs create cycles of pressure, shame, and disconnection in the bedroom. Shay explains why shifting the focus from performance to pleasure, presence, and communication can transform intimacy, and how reframing natural breaks—like moving rooms or reaching for a condom—can ease anxiety rather than trigger it.

Shay also offers practical advice and resources for men navigating these challenges, reminding us that healthy sexuality isn’t about flawless performance, but about connection, patience, and trust.

Key Points:

Shay's background and motivation

Shay shares his personal journey of overcoming performance anxiety and erection challenges, which led him to leave his corporate career and dedicate himself to helping other men with similar struggles. He describes how his father's passing and a realization about the impact of these issues on his life and relationships were the catalysts for change.

The root causes of performance anxiety

Shay and Cam discuss how performance anxiety often stems from early life experiences and messages around the need to perform and be a certain way to receive love and acceptance. They explore how these deep-seated beliefs and insecurities manifest in the bedroom and create a vicious cycle of anxiety and shame.

Reframing the approach to intimacy

Cam shares his approach of shifting the focus from performance to pleasure, connection, and enjoyment. He emphasizes the importance of slowing down, being present, and communicating openly with partners to create positive experiences, rather than getting caught up in the pressure to maintain erections or last a certain amount of time.

Navigating breaks in intimacy

Shay and Cam discuss how the transitions and breaks in physical intimacy, such as moving from the couch to the bedroom or reaching for a condom, can trigger anxiety and the belief that one should maintain an erection at all times. They highlight the importance of normalizing these natural fluctuations and reframing them as opportunities for connection.

Advice and resources for men struggling with performance issues

Shay and Cam encourage men struggling with performance anxiety to seek support, be patient with themselves, and have faith that it is possible to overcome these challenges. They recommend Shay's performance anxiety quiz as a starting point for self-assessment and provide information on where to find Shay's website and YouTube channel for further resources.

Relevant links:

Shay Doran's Website: https://shay-doran.com/Shay Doran's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doran

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ty Miller, a former sociology and criminology professor turned UX researcher, and a professional wrestler who performs under the persona “Dr. Jordan Tyler.” Ty shares how his passion for storytelling weaves through his academic, creative, and athletic pursuits, and how stepping into an exaggerated wrestling character allows him to explore themes of ego, bravado, and masculinity in a socially acceptable way. We discuss the tension between authenticity and performance, the rise of anti-intellectualism, and how figures—from wrestlers to politicians—use persona to influence perception. Ty also reflects on the performative nature of masculinity, the physical ideals imposed on men, and his efforts to challenge and subvert those norms inside and outside the wrestling ring.

Key Points:

Introductions and background

Cam and Ty introduce themselves and discuss their backgrounds. Ty shares that he is a former sociology and criminology professor who now works in UX research, and is also a professional wrestler who goes by the persona of "Dr. Jordan Tyler". They discuss their shared passion for storytelling and how it connects their various pursuits.

Navigating personas and authenticity

Cam and Ty explore the tension between their authentic selves and the personas they present, particularly in Ty's wrestling character. They discuss the catharsis and social acceptability of embodying an exaggerated, arrogant version of oneself, and how that differs from public figures like Donald Trump who blur the line between character and reality.

The rise of anti-intellectualism

Ty shares his experiences as an academic facing skepticism and dismissal of his expertise, and how he has grappled with that in his wrestling persona. They discuss the broader societal trend of anti-intellectualism, and how figures like Trump have capitalized on it by positioning themselves as anti-elitist while wielding real power.

Masculinity and performativity

Ty and Cam delve into the complex relationship between masculinity, performance, and identity. They explore how traditional notions of masculinity are socially constructed, the pressures wrestlers face to conform to certain physical ideals, and Ty's efforts to challenge and subvert those norms through his wrestling persona and content.

Recap and next steps

Cam and Ty wrap up the conversation, with Ty expressing gratitude for the community of men working to promote healthier masculinity. They discuss plans to continue their dialogue and collaboration in the future.

Relevant Links:

Instagram and TikTok: @jordantylerpro_

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Pierre Fleury, a violence prevention educator who specializes in domestic and dating violence, with a strong focus on engaging young men in conversations about healthy relationships and gender-based violence. Pierre shares his personal and professional insights into how rigid ideas of masculinity—what he calls the “man box”—contribute to harmful behaviors like aggression, emotional suppression, and the misuse of relationships for status. We explore the resistance many young men show toward this work, the appeal of red-pill rhetoric online, and why it’s critical to meet boys where they are with diverse, relatable messengers. Pierre offers practical strategies for educators, parents, and influencers to promote positive, respectful masculinity in both offline spaces and algorithm-driven online worlds.

Key Points:

Introductions and background

Pierre Fleury introduced himself as a violence prevention educator who specializes in domestic and dating violence, particularly intimate partner violence. He shared that much of his work involves educating young people on healthy relationships and engaging men to prevent gender-based violence.

Unpacking masculinity and the "man box"

Cam and Pierre discussed their personal experiences with the rigid cultural scripts around masculinity, and how they have both grappled with the pressure to conform to certain masculine ideals. They explored how this can lead to harmful behaviors like bullying and aggression as a means of maintaining one's status in the masculine hierarchy.

Challenges in educating young men

Pierre described the common resistance he encounters when working with young men, who often want to know how the new messaging will help them attract romantic partners. He emphasized the importance of shifting the mindset away from using relationships as a reward, and instead focusing on becoming a genuine, healthy person.

The need for diverse messengers

Cam and Pierre discussed the value of having a variety of messengers, both male and female, to reach young men with messages about healthy masculinity. They acknowledged that some boys may be more receptive to certain messengers over others based on factors like age, background, and shared interests.

The prevalence and spread of harmful masculinity rhetoric

Pierre observed that the "red pill" ideology and other harmful masculinity messaging is not new, but has become more widespread and accessible online, often being subtly woven into various types of content. He highlighted how the algorithms of social media platforms can contribute to the proliferation of this rhetoric.

Strategies for promoting positive masculinity

Cam and Pierre discussed ways to leverage social media algorithms to amplify more constructive messaging around masculinity, such as parents being mindful of their children's online content and influencers using thoughtful hashtags. They also emphasized the importance of creating supportive communities for young men to explore new ways of being.

Relevant links:

Pierre Fleury's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pierrefleury_?

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Michael Brasher, a passionate men's work facilitator and community organizer. Michael’s journey began while working at a domestic violence shelter, where his exposure to a men’s education program transformed his understanding of masculinity and violence. Since then, he has devoted his life to violence prevention and creating spaces for men to heal, grow, and reconnect with their emotional lives. Michael shares insights from years of running men’s groups, talking circles, and rites of passage experiences for men and boys. We explore the challenges of engaging men in vulnerability, the harmful impacts of traditional masculine norms, and the importance of bridging personal healing with community action. Michael’s work is grounded in compassion, connection, and a vision of masculinity rooted in care and accountability.

Key Points:

Michael's background and passion for men's work

Michael shares his personal story of how working at a domestic violence shelter and going through a men's education program changed his life and set him on a path to devote himself to violence prevention and community organizing to help men understand and heal from the violence they've been incentivized into.

Challenges of engaging men in this work

Michael discusses how men are often resistant to this type of work, but explains that if the right space and conversation is created, men will open up and be vulnerable. He shares examples of successfully facilitating men's groups and workshops, even with populations like fraternities that are often seen as resistant.

The socialization of masculinity and its impacts

Michael and Cam explore how traditional masculine norms and expectations are deeply harmful, leading men to disconnect from their emotions and pain. They discuss how this socialization perpetuates cycles of violence and trauma that get passed down generationally.

Creating spaces for men to heal and grow

Michael describes the importance of creating spaces for men to be vulnerable, share their pain, and reimagine healthier versions of masculinity. He shares examples of programs he's run, like weekly talking circles and wilderness rites of passage trips for boys and men.

Bridging individual healing and community action

Cam and Michael discuss the need to move beyond just individual healing work and into collective action and community organizing to dismantle the systemic issues underlying toxic masculinity. They explore ideas like volunteering at community centers, leading group trips, and building intergenerational relationships.

Overcoming resistance and criticism

They acknowledge the challenges of facing criticism and resistance, especially around perceptions of men working with boys. They emphasize the importance of being grounded in one's community and values, and not letting fear of judgment prevent doing important work.

Michael's ongoing programs and resources

Michael shares information about his ongoing work, including his social media presence, monthly men's talking circles, and upcoming book club discussions - all aimed at providing spaces for men to heal, grow, and build healthier relationships.

Relevant links:

Website: https://www.lifeunboundcoaching.com/

Instagram: @lifeunboundcoaching

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Elle Thielke. Elle is a Melbourne-based sexologist and former sex worker with a passion for men’s health and wellbeing. Drawing on her lived experience in the industry, Elle brings a unique and deeply informed perspective to conversations around masculinity, porn, and authentic sexual expression. Together, we explore the barriers that prevent men from being open about their desires, the impact of shame and gendered socialisation, and how to reframe common narratives around porn “addiction.” Elle also shares insights on ethical and embodied porn consumption, the importance of media literacy, and the urgent need for comprehensive, sex-positive education that reflects real-world experiences.

Key Points: Introductions and backgrounds

Elle Thielke introduces herself as a sexologist from Melbourne with a background as a former worker. She is passionate about men's health and wellbeing, and has gained deep insights from her experiences working in the industry. Cam Fraser shares his own personal journey and interest in masculinity and function, noting the lack of support many men feel comfortable seeking.

Barriers to authenticity for men

Elle and Cam discuss the significant barriers men face in being authentic about their , stemming from societal expectations and stigma around masculinity and expression. They explore how gendered socialization, shame, and rigid notions of what it means to be a "real man" create major obstacles for men to explore and understand their .

Practical tips for ethical, embodied consumption

Cam shares his approach of encouraging clients to engage with in a more intentional, embodied way - maximizing the content, minimizing distractions, and tuning into physical sensations. Elle reinforces the importance of media literacy and understanding the production realities behind pornographic content.

Reframing " addiction" and compulsive behaviors

Elle and Cam unpack the complex and often misunderstood concepts of " addiction" and compulsive behaviors. They highlight how the language and framing around these issues can be problematic, and emphasize the need for a more nuanced, individualized understanding of people's relationships with and .

The need for comprehensive education

Elle emphasizes the critical need for comprehensive, -positive education that is developed and delivered by those with direct experience and expertise in . She highlights how current approaches often fail to address the nuanced messages and implications of media and , leaving many people with unrealistic or unhealthy understandings.

Relevant Links

Website: www.elletsexology.com

Instagram: @inthenaughtycorner

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Giselle Woodley. Giselle is a recent PhD graduate and researcher whose work focuses on young people’s perspectives on relationships, sex education, and online harms such as image-based abuse and sextortion. Her research centers youth voices and aims to develop youth-led strategies for navigating digital sexuality and relationships. In our conversation, Giselle shares the nuanced and often-overlooked views that teens hold about pornography, including their desire for ethical, educational content and their frustration with risk-heavy, adult-led education. We also explore the implications of censorship, the importance of listening to young people, and how we can reimagine sex ed to be more inclusive, practical, and pleasure-focused.

Key Points:

Giselle's background and research focus

Giselle introduced herself as Dr. Giselle Woodley, a recent PhD graduate who has been researching teens' perspectives on relationships, education, and online harms like image-based abuse and sextortion. Her work aims to center youth voices and develop youth-led strategies in these areas.

Teens' nuanced views on

Giselle found that teens have diverse and nuanced views on , rather than simply seeing it as all good or all bad. Many felt adults exaggerate the harms of , while acknowledging potential risks. Teens valued for providing information and education about and relationships that they couldn't get elsewhere.

Challenges of adult-led ed

Teens expressed frustration with the risk-focused, adult-led approach to education, feeling it didn't adequately prepare them for real-world and relationship experiences. They wanted more positive, comprehensive, and skills-based education, including information they could only find in .

Teens' desire for ethical

Many teens were interested in finding ethical, educational, and relationship-positive pornographic content, but faced barriers like not having access to payment methods or feeling unsure of where to find such content online. They saw a need for more resources in this area.

Concerns about censorship and regulation

Teens were skeptical of censorship and age verification measures, feeling they would just drive them to use more unregulated online platforms. They saw these approaches as ineffective and potentially making prohibited content more alluring.

Recap and future collaboration

Giselle and Cam discussed opportunities for further collaboration, including potentially connecting Cam with other researchers in this space like Siobhan Healy Cullen. They agreed the conversation was valuable and looked forward to continuing the dialogue.

Relevant link:

Giselle Woodley - https://www.ecu.edu.au/schools/arts-and-humanities/staff/profiles/communication-and-culture/ms-giselle-woodley

Key Points:

Introductions and background

Marc Zen introduces himself as a PhD candidate at Curtin University researching explicit media literacy education, particularly focusing on parent perspectives. He discusses his personal experiences with education growing up and how that motivated his research interests.

Defining "explicit media literacy"

Marc explains why he uses the broader term "explicit media literacy" rather than just focusing on . He notes that parents were more concerned about the influence of media on their children's future relationships than just the content of itself.

Parent perspectives on media influence

The parents Marc interviewed expressed a range of views, but were generally most concerned about how the media their children consume could negatively impact their future relationships and ability to have healthy, respectful intimacy. Some saw potential benefits in using media to start conversations.

Initiating conversations with children

Many parents struggled with how to initiate conversations with their children about and relationships, often resorting to awkward tactics like having the conversation in the car. Marc and Cam discuss strategies for parents to create a safe, open environment for these discussions.

Differences in parent and gender perspectives

Marc observed differences in how mothers and fathers approached the topic, with fathers more likely to discuss directly and share their own experiences, while mothers were more concerned about media messages promoting unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Framing education in schools

Marc discusses the debate around taking a "critical" approach versus a more "neutral" approach to teaching explicit media literacy in schools. He believes the neutral approach focused on building practical skills is more effective, though the critical approach is better than nothing.

Concluding thoughts

Marc emphasizes the importance of reframing adolescence as a time of opportunity to build valuable life skills, rather than just a period of risk and vulnerability. He advocates for evidence-based, shame-free education that provides young people with practical tools.

Relevant linksWebsite: www.marczen.com.au.

Instagram: marc_zen_

Key Points:

Introduction to Brian Sloan and Autoblow

Brian Sloan introduces himself as the creator of the Autoblow brand of male pleasure products. He discusses how he got into this industry, starting with selling latex fetishwear and then realizing there was a need for better male toys. He has been working on developing the Autoblow and VacuGlide products for over 16 years.

Passion for Male Pleasure

Brian explains that his initial interest in this industry was more of a business decision, but over time he developed a genuine passion for helping men find pleasure and addressing the imbalance in the pleasure products industry being more focused on women. He believes men have different needs and desires that were not being met.

Autoblow and VacuGlide Product Details

Brian provides an overview of the Autoblow AI Ultra and VacuGlide products, including how they work, their key features, and the different use cases and target customers for each product. He discusses how the VacuGlide in particular caters to men who may have difficulty achieving or maintaining erections.

Online Communities and Customer Feedback

Brian discusses the online communities that have formed around the Autoblow products, including an active subreddit where customers provide feedback and suggestions. He explains how this feedback has been valuable in improving the products over time.

Concerns About AI-Powered Toys

Brian shares his personal concerns about the potential risks of AI-powered toys, particularly the VR integration, and how the immersive experience could become addictive for some users. He believes there needs to be more awareness and education around the potential downsides of this technology.

Balancing Risks and Benefits of Tech

Cam and Brian have a thoughtful discussion about balancing the potential benefits of tech, like helping disabled users or providing educational/training tools, with the risks of addiction or unhealthy reliance. They explore ideas around data privacy, transparency, and empowering users to make informed choices.

Closing Thoughts

Brian acknowledges the validity of Cam's concerns about the potential risks of AI-powered toys, and says the industry needs to recognize and address these issues, even if they don't change their core business practices. Cam expresses excitement to see if and how the industry evolves in response to these emerging challenges.

Relevant Links:

Brian's Website: https://www.vieci.com/

Key Points:

Introductions and Zari's background

Zari introduces himself as an artist, illustrator, and traveler who is currently exploring the topic of authentic connection and pleasure. He shares his passion for travel, authentic connections, and finding new ways to cultivate presence and embodied experiences.

Challenges with modern connection and performance

Zari discusses the issues he sees with modern connection and intimacy, including the pressure to perform, the influence of social media and media portrayals, and the tendency to get caught up in playing roles rather than being authentic. He emphasizes the importance of slowing down, being curious, and focusing on the embodied experience rather than external expectations.

Unpacking body image and performance anxiety

Cam shares his observations about the body image and performance anxiety issues he sees in many of the men he works with, including comparing themselves to idealized male physiques on social media and in media, as well as anxiety around size and performance. They discuss how these pressures and scripts can lead men to develop unhealthy habits and get stuck in their heads during intimate experiences.

Suggestions for more playful, embodied intimacy

Zari and Cam discuss practical ways to create more playful, embodied, and pressure-free intimate experiences, such as sensual touch and exploration games, writing down fantasies, and being creative and spontaneous in the moment when things don't go as planned. They emphasize the importance of communication, vulnerability, and a willingness to experiment and learn together.

Zari's upcoming book "Play With Me"

Zari shares details about his upcoming book "Play With Me", which will be a visually-rich, illustrated guide to intimate games and practices. He discusses his goal of creating a movement and community around this work, and invites Cam to support the Kickstarter campaign launching next week.

Relevant Links:

Zari's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zari.plays/

Zari's Twitter: https://x.com/ZariPlays

Key Points:

Defining love and its many facets

Triss and Cam discuss the concept of love, its various meanings and expressions, and how it can be experienced on emotional, physical, and spiritual levels. They explore the limitations of language in capturing the full essence of love, and the importance of acknowledging the diversity of love's manifestations.

Navigating masculinity and gender norms

Cam shares his personal experiences and reflections on the societal narratives and prescriptive ideas around masculinity, and how they can create barriers for men to engage in self-love, intimacy, and vulnerability. They discuss the polarizing rhetoric from some masculinity influencers and the need to move beyond rigid definitions of what it means to be a "real man."

Embodying love and connection

Triss explains his approach to facilitating workshops and retreats focused on cultivating self-love, interpersonal connection, and a deeper understanding of one's authentic self, beyond societal labels and expectations. He emphasizes the importance of engaging the whole being - mind, body, emotions, and spirit - in this transformative process.

Navigating uncertainty and the liminal space

Cam shares his personal experience of feeling caught in a liminal space, where he doesn't fully identify with traditional labels like "heterosexual" or "queer," and the challenges and fears that can arise from this ambiguity. Triss offers insights on embracing the unknown, integrating shadows, and finding freedom in the space beyond rigid definitions.

Closing thoughts and next steps

Triss shares his passion for working with men who are on the cusp of deeper self-discovery and a more expansive understanding of love, connection, and purpose. He invites Cam and the listeners to explore the resources and opportunities available to continue this important exploration and personal growth.

Relevant links:

Triss' website: https://trisstashi.com/

Key Points:

Mish's background and book

Mish introduces himself as a 60-something man who has shifted his health work from a focus on cancer to a broader focus on men's health and wellness. He has recently written a book about embracing and finding pleasure in a "soft " rather than fixating on erections.

The need for a new perspective on male

Mish explains that he was motivated to write the book because he realized there was a lack of resources and information available about enjoying intimacy and pleasure without a hard erection. Most existing resources focus on "fixing" erectile dysfunction rather than exploring alternative paths to fulfillment.

The emotional and psychological journey

Mish discusses the emotional and psychological challenges men face when their bodies don't perform as expected, including feelings of loss, shame, and withdrawal. He emphasizes the importance of grieving these changes and redefining one's relationship to pleasure and masculinity.

Exploring the body and sensations

Mish and Cam discuss practical strategies for exploring the body and sensations beyond just the genitals, including mapping pleasure across the body, slowing down, and being present to subtle energetic shifts and reverberations.

Redefining intimacy and "completion"

Mish shares insights on how he and his partner have redefined the end of intimacy, moving away from a focus on as the "finish line." They emphasize communication, presence, and exploring energetic connections as ways to find fulfillment and closure without relying on a hard erection.

Closing thoughts and book availability

Mish provides an overview of the book's title and content, and shares information on where readers can purchase the book, both online and through select brick-and-mortar retailers.

Relevant Links:

Mish’s Twitter: @RecoveringMan1

Mish’s website: www.recoveringman.net

Key points:

Toby's background and journey to coaching

Toby shares his background, including being an open intersex person, his diagnosis with Kleinfelter's syndrome, and his transition into the coaching and counseling space. He discusses how his own self-discovery and openness about his identity led him to want to support others in similar ways.

Toby's philosophy on self-love and whole-person approach

Toby explains his holistic, "whole person" approach to coaching, emphasizing the importance of self-love, self-acceptance, and changing one's internal narrative as the foundation for growth and fulfillment. He uses the analogy of a pilot light to describe the importance of cultivating an intrinsic sense of self-love.

Societal barriers to self-love and the impact on men

Toby and Cam discuss how Western capitalist society often encourages external validation and a lack of self-love, and how this can manifest in unhealthy behaviors, particularly for men. They explore the changing cultural narratives around masculinity and the need for men to embrace vulnerability and emotional intelligence.

Practical steps for cultivating self-love

Toby outlines specific practices he uses with clients to help them become aware of negative thought patterns, decouple their identity from those thoughts, and replace them with positive affirmations. He emphasizes the importance of daily practice and support during this process.

The relationship between self-love and the body

Toby and Cam discuss the connection between self-love and body acceptance, noting how the relationship with one's physical self is a reflection of the internal landscape. They explore how self-love practices can help individuals develop a more positive, pleasure-focused relationship with their bodies.

Recap and next steps

Toby summarizes the key points of their discussion, emphasizing that self-love is the foundation that allows other self-care and self-loving activities to be truly nourishing and impactful. He expresses excitement about continuing his coaching work and supporting more people in reaching their potential.

Relevant links: https://whole-person-relationships.com/

Key points:

Victoria's background and passion

Victoria Cullen runs an online resource called "A Touchy Subject" that helps men who have had prostate cancer treatment to thrive. She is passionate about supporting men's mental health and wellbeing, as the suicide rate for men with prostate cancer is 70% higher than the general male population.

Challenges men face after prostate cancer treatment

Men often struggle with the side effects of prostate cancer treatment, such as incontinence, erectile dysfunction, and penile shortening. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness and a sense of their quality of life being permanently diminished, which negatively impacts their mental health.

Limitations of a narrow medical approach

The medical approach to treating erectile dysfunction often focuses narrowly on prescribing medications like , without considering the psychological, emotional, and relational aspects of male . This can leave men feeling broken and unsupported.

Educating and empowering men

Victoria's approach involves a comprehensive rehabilitation program that starts with education, then explores a variety of strategies and tools, such as vacuum devices, pelvic floor exercises, and pleasure-focused techniques. The goal is to help men regain a sense of agency and control over their health.

Incorporating partners and eroticizing the process

Victoria encourages men to involve their partners in the rehabilitation process, and to find ways to eroticize the use of devices and tools. This helps reduce shame and reframe the experience as an opportunity for playful discovery and intimacy.

Recap and resources

Victoria summarizes the key points of the discussion and encourages listeners to reach out to her if they have any questions or need support. She also mentions some additional resources, such as expert webinars and a private membership community.

Relevant links:

Victoria's website: https://atouchysubject.com/

Key points:

Aasha's background and passions

Aasha introduced herself as a certified emotional intelligence expert, shamanic practitioner, hypnotherapist, and CEO of a tech startup. She is passionate about helping people ignite their souls and authenticity, and stop hiding who they are. Aasha shared her personal journey of overcoming health challenges and trauma to find self-acceptance and empowerment.

Emotional resilience and leadership

Aasha discussed her approach to emotional resilience, emphasizing the importance of feeling emotions deeply without abandoning one's post as a leader. She shared insights from losing her home in the Pacific Palisades fire, and how it taught her the difference between "strong" and "resilient" leadership. Aasha believes resilience involves empathy, self-empathy, and transmuting emotions into personal power.

Privilege, shame, and receiving

Cam and Aasha explored the nuances of emotional resilience and how access to resources and support can impact one's ability to process grief and loss. They discussed the tendency for people, especially those with privilege, to feel guilty or ashamed for struggling emotionally. Aasha and Cam agreed that the ability to receive - whether feedback, love, or pleasure - is a universal challenge that both men and women face.

Feminine leadership and embodiment

Aasha described her experience of embodying a more feminine style of leadership after losing her home a second time. This involved being more authentic, vulnerable, and empathetic in her approach, while still maintaining a strong sense of purpose and authority. Aasha believes this blend of feminine and masculine energy is essential for effective and resilient leadership.

Closing thoughts and resources

Aasha shared information about how to connect with her on social media and access her work, which focuses on topics like feminine embodiment, emotional intelligence, and self-worth. She emphasized the importance of embracing one's authentic expression and magnetizing what one desires, while also having fun and not hiding.

Relevant links:

Aasha's website: https://beyondeqinternational.com/

Key Points:

Johnny Cole's background and passion for men's work

Johnny Cole shares his personal story and explains how his father's traumatic military experiences and rigid views on masculinity deeply impacted his own upbringing and understanding of manhood. This led him to discover the field of men's work and start his organization Hey Brother Co. to help men and boys unlearn harmful patriarchal messaging and redefine masculinity on their own terms.

The power of vulnerability and emotional leadership

Cam shares his own experiences with rigid masculinity norms growing up, and how he has seen the transformative impact of adult men modeling vulnerability and emotional openness, especially in working with young people. Johnny emphasizes the importance of men being brave enough to have uncomfortable but necessary conversations to drive positive change.

Deconstructing the "man box" and challenging gender norms

Johnny and Cam discuss the concept of the "man box" - the rigid societal expectations and pressures around masculinity that stifle boys and men. They share examples of how they've seen young people have powerful realizations about how these norms have impacted them and their relationships.

The role of sports and media in shaping masculinity

Cam notes how sports have often provided a socially acceptable outlet for young men to express intimacy and emotion. They also discuss how media portrayals of relationships and can give young people skewed and unhealthy messages about masculinity and intimacy.

The importance of platonic male intimacy and affection

Johnny emphasizes the devastating impact of boys being discouraged from physical affection and emotional vulnerability from a young age. He argues this leads many men to conflate all intimacy with , contributing to issues like erectile dysfunction and unhealthy relationships.

Embracing boyhood and avoiding the rush to manhood

Johnny passionately argues against the tendency to vilify boyhood and pressure boys to rapidly transition into a rigid, prescriptive version of manhood. He believes this contributes to many social issues, and advocates for allowing boys to simply be boys without shame or judgment.

Relevant Links:

Johnny Cole's website: https://www.heybrotherco.com/

Key Points:

Exploring identity and authenticity

Ann and Cam discuss the importance of understanding and embracing one's authentic identity, whether related to gender, , spirituality, or other aspects of the self. They emphasize the need to move beyond prescriptive societal norms and labels, and instead focus on self-discovery and self-acceptance.

Unpacking religious trauma and shame

Ann explains her work helping clients who have experienced religious trauma, particularly from high-control religious groups. She discusses how this can lead to anxiety, depression, and shame around and relationships. Cam shares his own experiences with Buddhist monasticism and the control and shame he witnessed.

Navigating masculinity and gender expression

Cam and Ann explore the complexities of masculinity, including societal pressures and expectations. They discuss the importance of allowing men to define masculinity for themselves, rather than prescribing a singular version. They also address the stigma and fear around exploring different aspects of gender and .

Challenging assumptions and biases

Ann and Cam emphasize the need to examine one's own assumptions and biases, particularly around identity, , and spirituality. They encourage listeners to approach these topics with curiosity, empathy, and a willingness to learn and grow, rather than judgment or defensiveness.

Closing and resources

Ann provides information about her therapy practice and upcoming book, and invites listeners to reach out if they would like to continue the conversation. Cam and Ann emphasize the importance of seeking support from professionals who specialize in these areas.

Relevant links:

Ann Russo's website: https://www.amrtherapy.com/about-us/#about-us