LunaHolistic Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode, we answer a listener's question, "How can I avoid merging with my mother?" Paula's mother had experienced an unjust situation, and Paula felt angry and protective on her mom's behalf. Listen in on the self-care and reframing tips Reiki Master Geneva Robins had for this situation.

Recognize it comes from a Good place  -  You Care!

If you see yourself in Paula's shoes and feel upset or angry about injustice in the world, know that feeling has a very positive core. You care! What an amazing place the world would be if everyone cared as much as you!

Sometimes, simply noticing that the energy underneath the strong feeling of distress and anger is actually coming from a place of deep love can help reframe things. As soon as you notice what the core is, you can shift into that loving space.

Create a gentle space to acknowledge your feelings

The next step is to give yourself a space, a moment where you can step away from the situation. To temporarily pause the thinking that is creating the flood of emotion in your body and just give yourself a space to rest, ground, and come back to yourself.

This can be very difficult to do when you're in a heightened state, but it is essential if you want to be of maximum service to the one you love.

To do this, it's useful to pay attention to the physical sensations in the body. Gently notice areas of tension, of different temperatures, noticing if there are any muscles that are clenched, if your breathing is tight and not flowing. 

And then just gently working to create space around all the sensations and gently creating room with your breath and awareness into the simple sensations of distress and anger within the body. It's a heightened form of mindfulness. Even a few minutes of paying attention to your inner physiological state will begin to bring in a sense of calm. 

You might like the Releasing Anger Meditation as a tool to begin anchoring yourself back in the present moment. 

Come back to yourself and the present - Grounding and your Aura

Another powerful tool is grounding, which connects to the energy within the Earth and allows that nurturing energy to bring a sense of peace into your body. Try the Grounding Meditation to activate that wise Earth Energy.

Noticing the energy around your body and bringing a bit of space between you and the situation is also deeply healing. Each person has their own energy bubble, the aura, and when the aura is strong, you feel clear and are better able to discern what is your feeling and what another person’s feeling. The aura is so important if you are an empath or a highly sensitive person! It helps you avoid merging with another person's energy so you can be in a good place to help them.

The good news is just imagining a calming and comforting energy in the aura will help you. When you are back in your bubble, it is much easier to hold space for your loved one or the difficult situation you are facing. It is the best place for you to see their strength and cheer on their empowerment.

If this is difficult for you, you can also try a Reiki session. Reiki is a gentle way of grounding and reconnecting to the flow of energy, harmonizing you with a state of peace and calm so that you can get clarity on the situation. Try the Self-Healing Meditation to see how even 5 minutes can help.

The Reiki Ideals can help you get perspective

Anger is a normal emotion when a boundary is crossed, and you or your loved one is threatened. It’s a survival emotion that helps us escape danger. The problem is when anger gets stuck and becomes chronic, it just ends up burning us up.

In Reiki, we practice the Reiki ideals, which are five principles for leading a happy life. The Reiki ideals are: just for today, I will let go of anger, I will let go of worry, I will be grateful for my many blessings, I will do my spiritual work honestly, and I'll be kind to myself and others.

When you're facing a big issue, it can be very helpful to come back to each of the Reiki ideals and allow their wisdom to guide you to a more restful frame of mind. When you're able to come back to that space of clarity, it's much easier to see what your best action will be. 

When we're in the grips of anger, it is very difficult to know what the best action is because we become erratic and explosive. We still need to feel and acknowledge that anger, but we need to put it to work for us in a way that will be constructive and productive to our ultimate goals. 

This can be difficult when it involves somebody we care about because we have anger but also vulnerability and maybe worry. When you work through the Reiki ideals step by step, all the way to kindness, you end up getting clarity and peace along the way. So that when you take action, which anger requires, you are taking the best action possible that will help the situation and bring harmony to yourself and others. 

You can learn more about the Reiki ideals in Geneva's book The Secret Art of Happiness: How to Change Your Life with the Reiki Ideals. 

How does this sit with you?

If you found the tips in this episode helpful and resonated with Paula's experience, we encourage you to leave a comment on the blog sharing your thoughts and insights. Do you find your energy merging with other people? What has helped you get clear?

Send us your own questions or topics you'd like us to address in a future episode. Leave us a quick voice memo on our SpeakPipe page. Your input and questions are valuable, and we look forward to continuing this conversation with you in our upcoming episodes.

 

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Reiki for Kids' Spiritual Well-Being

Reiki helps kids in the same way it helps adults; they get a chance to ground their energy, feel calmer, and have good energetic boundaries. We offer Reiki sessions for kids, babies, and teens at LunaHolistic. Create a profile for your child on our booking page and then you can book them in for a session. You can stay in the room with them as they receive their session or wait in our reception area with a warm cup of tea. We let the child decide what makes them feel most comfortable.

Grounding Technique for Children

Listen to the end of the episode for an active meditation technique you can do with your kids: the Rainbow Tree meditation. It helps to settle sensitive children and is wonderful right before bedtime or after school. You guide them to balance their chakras, ground, and fill their aura with light.

You stand up and together pretend you are trees! Then, you fill each chakra with a specific colour of light and imagine a bubble of white light surrounding the body. This practice is wonderful self-care for kids, as it helps them move and settle their energy and promotes a sense of safety. It helps children to connect with the earth and feel more centred.

The Rainbow Tree meditation can help reduce nightmares and provide a sense of calm and grounding. Use it in the morning to help manage anxiety and set a positive tone for the day.

Reiki Experiences and Parenting Self-Love

Reiki helps kids to feel calm, connected, and emotionally regulated. And it's also great for parents too! Reiki can be a valuable resource for parents to better support their children and manage their own emotions. Getting your own Reiki session as a parent can help you feel centred even on the busiest day, and your kids definitely will like that!

Reiki Courses and Spiritually Sensitive Children

Learning Reiki is also a great skill for a parent to have, not only for your own wellness but to model the self-care you want your kids to do. Children don't do what you say; they do what you do. So, if you have a self-care and meditation practice, they will be more likely to develop one as well.

While we don't yet have courses for children, teens 16 years old and up are welcome in our Reiki courses with parental approval. Stay tuned!

Many parents in our courses mention how much their kids love getting Reiki from them. In the second level of Reiki, we teach you to do sessions for others. Practicing Reiki on your kids is a wonderful way of providing care, comfort, and support.

Book a Reiki Session

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Empaths Absorb Emotional Energy, and Reiki Helps to Clear it

Sometimes, empathic people absorb other people’s emotional energy and Reiki helps to clear off any of that emotional smog. Reiki helps you set up clear energetic boundaries between you and other people. You don’t have to take responsibility for other people’s emotional states. You get a filter between you and other people’s energy. It helps you get clear. 

When you have clear energy boundaries, then it is much easier to keep and set boundaries with others. It's much easier to say a kind no if you need to if you’re in a state of clear energy. You don’t have to take responsibility for other people’s energy.

Reiki Self-Healing and Emotional Regulation

With a Reiki session, you get help settling your emotions. The practitioner holds a gentle and steady focus on your calming intention. And then the energy combined with gentle touch helps you to regulate strong emotions. 

Learning Reiki is an amazing journey that has been life-changing for us. Raven is beginning her teaching journey in the new year. We teach over the course of eight weeks, so you get lots of practice. That way, you get an opportunity to integrate these powerful tools into your daily routine. Reiki can give you your power back. 

Reiki can also help so very much with stress-aggravated conditions like IBS or chronic pain. Both Geneva and Raven have experienced management and reversal of stress-linked conditions. In committing to the healing practice of Reiki, much healing has happened. It's a huge shift in quality of life.

Emotional Wellness Practices and Extra Support for Strong Emotions

We’ve got a number of resources that can give you extra support if you’re experiencing strong emotional states.

Therapy!

There is a strong need to talk things out with a qualified person. Therapy can help to give you tools and work through some of the big events that have occurred in your life. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, EMDR, and Accelerated Resolution Therapy are all wonderful ways to learn valuable skills and work through various levels of trauma. You can do a search to find a therapist in your area, or if you live in Calgary, contact either Leah Thompson or Joanna Card, two exceptional therapists.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

People are working through their own stuff, and it might spill onto you, but at the end of the day, it is not about you; it's about them. The Four Agreements is a classic book that can help you not take things personally, be impeccable with your word, let go of assumptions, and always do your best.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

Affirmations are simple, positive statements to counteract the inner critic. It helps you to shift your mindset and encourage a gentle inner atmosphere, freeing you from strong emotions. You Can Heal Your Life is a textbook that we use in our courses to help set positive intentions for Reiki sessions.

The Secret Art of Happiness: Change Your Life with the Reiki Ideal by Geneva Robins

Affirmation Ladders are a way of accessing a shift from strong feelings to a more peaceful space. You don’t have to immediately shift to the most positive statement, you can gently acknowledge how you’re feeling and then work your way up to the next affirmation up the ladder. It helps you to acknowledge the feeling and then make a kind space for the feeling. The Secret Art of Happiness is Geneva’s book and a textbook for our Reiki courses.

Plum Village App

Mindfulness is a powerful tool to take care of your emotions. The Plum Village App helps you to find a calm state no matter what is happening. The app offers recorded teachings and meditations from the late Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. It’s a valuable resource for emotional well-being.

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Compassion is a way out of Resistance

When the pattern is harsh, the solution is gentleness. The resistance pops up the most when the thing we want to do has the potential to change us. There is a hyperactive protective ego that gets engaged so that we don't change anything. To the ego, any change is viewed as dangerous, even if your actions are positive, like exercise or meditation. 

What if resistance is simply fearfulness of our inner child? If that's the case, then we have to be gentle with that tender part of you, much like how the only antidote to shame is empathy.

Curiosity and Adventure as a Path Forward

Taking small and healthy risks can help stretch your comfort zone. When you begin moving forward in small steps, you gain courage, and in that space, you get momentum going. Approaching your new behaviours with a sense of adventure can sometimes lower the fear of the new. 

Even if you still feel resistance, even a tiny move is still helping you make progress. Comfort your nervous system with something nourishing, like a cup of tea or a fuzzy blanket, and then make another step. Bringing true kindness to the resistance you feel can powerfully shift you into a new flow of energy.

 

 

We have a new podcast episode every month! Please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  You can send us your question in the comments below or record your question here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/podcast/    

  

 

We are also very happy to share the gift of Reiki through our Giving Back Program! Every month, we give away free Reiki sessions to exceptional people.  Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/giving-back-program/    

  

 

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The Creative Cycle is a Natural Cycle

Thinking of your creativity as a cycle can be liberating. Sometimes, we think of creative projects as a linear process with a strict first-next-then series of steps that must proceed at a set timing in order. But what if it is a cycle instead? What if the pause of a project or a slowdown is just a redirection of the creative energy to other areas.

Slumbering creativity is nothing to fear. The waking is a natural part of the slumbering process.

The Hidden Benefits of a Creative Slumber

Just like with actual sleep, having space and time to rest and dream are important. Sometimes, the creative work needs to be incubated a bit longer. Tools and resources need to be gathered. Sometimes, the creative energy is being used in other ways, like physical and emotional healing.

Respect this need for rest and consider ways this phase of your creative cycle may actually be enhancing the final product. Many accomplished artists and writers take decades to create some of their work. Leonardo da Vinci took 25 years to finish one painting. Laura Hillenbrand took seven years to write Unbroken. The final piece can sometimes benefit from a long incubation.

While that process is occurring, get yourself to your tools. Handle the physical objects you use to create. Just get yourself there daily and let yourself dabble and play. Even a trip to the dollar store for new materials can open things up and get you in the place where the work can occur.

Helpful tips to clear a Creative BlockMeditation to Wake up

Meditation is a huge help to free up a creative block. Rita spends a few minutes a day meditating before journalling. Even the briefest pause when you catch yourself numbing or delaying can be a beautiful invitation to meditate. Just 30 seconds to close your eyes and mindfully breathe can put you on a new creative track.

Getting out of the intellectual side of the brain and into the interested and creative side can be helped by meditation. Meditating shifts our consciousness, restores energy and naturally boosts creativity. This also happens with Reiki self-healing too. Try the Self-Healing Meditation to get the flow going.

Be Curious Like a Child

Playfulness and curiosity are key to gently reawakening the flow of energy in your creative work. Sure, you could set a loud alarm and push yourself back to the task. But that might cause an inner rebellion that puts you straight back to a grumpy sleep. What if you can instead use things that spark joy and playfulness?

Creativity rides on energy. So, if we do things that spark joy and fun, energy gets released that ultimately rekindles the work. Think of it as a gentle invitation back to the creative process. Sometimes, working at a tangent is best. Try new things. Explore new media and let yourself dabble your way back into the stuff you actually love to do.

Connect to Inspiring People

Doing a bit of research can be a gentle way of catching the energy of making. Watch videos of people in other fields of creativity to side-step the inner comparing critic. There's a really cool documentary called The Colour of Ink; it's a fascinating watch.

Get out of your house and go to live performances. There are often free or low-cost concerts and recitals happening in the community. Geneva went to one by Mustafa Kamaliddin, a Renaissance ukulele musician. Being near other creative folks can sometimes inspire you to do your own brave and new ideas.

Wandering through a gallery or going to a book reading at your local library can be wonderful ways to spark a return of your creative wakefulness. This can be part of the Artist Dates that Julia Cameron encourages in her book The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.

Reiki and Energetic Eight Coaching

Reiki can also help creative slumbers. The energy around a creative block can be painful and many-layered. Getting a bit of energetic help can help you balance your sacral chakra, the energy centre that is the birthplace of creativity.

Geneva also supports creative folks through Energetic Eight Coaching to help you connect to your source of inspiration and take those baby steps to make your creative work real.

Blanket Forts! The Best Way to Clear a Creative Block

Of course, this is the best solution of all -- Blanket forts! Creative dreams need a safe and protected space to incubate them. We fully support adult-sized forts of all kinds! In fact, we might be in one right now. What way can you bring that energy of that safe container for your creativity forward?

Maybe it's a weighted blanket on your lap while you do a bit of blogging. Maybe you can put on a cozy hoodie (with the hood pulled up, of course) to have a portable blanket fort. Maybe a special piece of jewelry or crystal on your desk at work. Maybe a sign you put up on your studio door or workspace that gives you permission to just play with the materials and test things out.

Let us know how this resonates with you! Leave a comment below or record a question here: LunaHolistic Podcast

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Resources to help you with the Change in Seasons:

Here are a few of the resources we share in this episode:

The Work by Byron Katie

Embracing Change with the Apple Tree Cycle podcast episode with Rita Reddy

Grounding Meditation

Infinite Universe Meditation

Creative Manifesting Workshop Meditation

Mini Retreats and our new sessions of Past-Life Healing, Multigenerational Healing, and Creative Manifesting Sessions (upcoming).

Acceptance and Gratitude ease Change

One of the biggest helps for us is simply acceptance of the changes each season brings. This includes changes in the seasons of our lives too! Taking a few moments to stop resisting the change before us and accepting that it is happening provides a big relief. so much energy can go into resisting a change!

Trying to control the outcome of the change and transition can wear us out. But the beautiful thing is that this extra energy all can come back to you in a moment of presence and grounding. Try our Grounding Meditation on Insight Timer to help you catch your breath.

Manage your Energy rather than your Time

The change of season invites reflection and going deeper into your spiritual work. This includes having a moment to review and revise your self-care routine to ensure you are recharging your energy throughout your day and week so you can keep up with your busy schedule.

Focus on routines that help your thrive. Even a few moments of self-care will help you manage the shift of routine. Reiki and meditation are wonderful because they give you a massive dose of energy in just a few minutes. Try our Self-Healing Meditation to give yourself a quick five-minute boost anytime of day.

Nature helps us to Heal

The grounding and rooting energy of the fall helps you plan and prepare. If brings you back to your root chakra and emphasizes what makes you feel safe and secure. Sometimes this energy also can bring up old mucky stuff and emotion. If this happens for you around this time of year, that's okay. It's perfectly normal to feel this way. Be very gentle and kind to yourself when you're in any kind of transition.

Give yourself extra rest if you need it. Let go of things you no longer need, including any harmful, self-critical thoughts or patterns of worry. One helpful resource for this is the gentle questioning of your thoughts with The Work by Byron Katie. This is a journalling process that lets you become curious about what thoughts are helping you and which you can let drop, just like the leaves of fall.

The Magic of the In-Between

The middle point of a transition like the change in seasons, is also a prime time for manifesting. It's like the normal rules loosen their grip on you for a few weeks and in the middle times, when things are neither here nor there, you have access to a towering energy field of pure potential energy.

If you find yourself in the in-between, you might really like two of our meditations, the Creative Manifesting Workshop Meditation and the Manifesting Miracles Meditation. 

We have a new podcast episode every month! Please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 

You can send us your question in the comments below or record your question here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/podcast/

We are also very happy to share the gift of Reiki through our Giving Back Program! Every month we give away free Reiki sessions to exceptional people. 

Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/giving-back-program/

We've got Staycation Retreats happening in-person at our Calgary location and Virtual Retreats happening through Zoom. Our next Mountain Retreat is currently being planned!

You can also do a self-guided Retreat with our LunaHolistic Retreat Journal.

Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/retreat/

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In this podcast episode, Geneva Robins and Raven Healey chat about past-life healing and how Reiki can help release trauma stored in time. It's kinda wild, but past life memories and stored trauma can come up and be released and healed through a Reiki session.

Reiki is beyond time and space. It doesn't matter when any trauma has happened, even if it is in a past-life. Trauma and karmic patterns can hold you in a loop of behaviour and situations. Reiki can help break you out of that loop and see it from the outside.

Reiki can be a psychic tow truck!

Past-life journeys and meditations can bring up very old patterns that might be repeated in your current life. Reiki helps to release those energies even the energetic forms of shackles or other images of harm. When those energies are lifted, people often feel free and clear in a brand new way.

Since Reiki is Universal Life Force Energy, it is inherently beyond time and space. It helps us access not only energy, but also information. All the information that exists is held within this energy and when we get into the right headspace, we can understand it. Its the same energy field that holds the Akashic Records, which is an information source some healers and teachers talk about as a way to understand this field of information.

Past-Life memories happen now

Time is a construct. All time is happening in the eternal now. When we do past-life work we connect to all moments of 'now' present time. We access the now-moment that happened in a past-life that is meaningful for you now. Its sort of like a super-mindfulness trick to get there! In our sessions, we help you remember lives that are useful to you.

You can test this out now in the Past-Life Wisdom Meditation. If you love the Insight Timer App, this meditation is there!

When you clear the karmic wounds you get access to all the knowledge you had in a past-life. It integrates and all that wisdom can be accessed by you now.

Recommended Reading for your Past-Life Healing

Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives by Brian L. Weiss M.D.

Past Lives, Present Miracles: The Most Empowering Book on Reincarnation You'll Ever Read... in this Lifetime! by Denise Linn

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

The Order of Time by Carlo Rovelli

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle

 

 

 

We have a new podcast episode every month! Please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 

You can send us your question in the comments below or record your question here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/podcast/

 

 

We are also very happy to share the gift of Reiki through our Giving Back Program! Every month we give away free Reiki sessions to exceptional people. 

Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/giving-back-program/

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In this episode, learn how to access your intuition and wise guidance. Rita Reddy and Geneva Robins share their top tips to connect to your inner wisdom.

Come to Stillness

Taking time to centre yourself with a few breaths can help you tune in. Being in stillness, preferably in nature, can calm the sensory overload that can block your awareness of your inner space. Even a few slow breaths can calm the tension in the body.

Meditation to Calm and Connect to Inner Wisdom

Turn down the inner static with a few moments of meditation. Meditation is intentional. You're deliberately turning the noise down on the parts that don't know. And it turns up the volume on the wisdom inside.

The ego mind can only access what is right in front of you. That part of you has no ability to know what's coming next or what is aligned with your inner wisdom. Your wise-self has access to all the information of your soul. 

Try this Grounding Meditation to create a space to hear your inner wise-self.

How do you know what is ego and what is inner wisdom?

Inner being messages are relaxing and calming. The sensations in the body are felt in very internal core places. You might feel your deep wisdom in your heart or your gut. You can question this information and it will continue to give calming and wise answers.

Ego messages are tense and demanding. The places you might feel these messages are up in the head. The ego doesn't like change and will discourage your questions. It often speaks in an always-never language. Thinking about following the ego message usually creates more tension in the body.

Be Kind to Your Ego-mind

The ego is also a part of you and protects you. And for this reason alone, being kind and compassionate to this protective part of you is useful. Imagine the ego as a scared child that is just trying to keep you from harm.

When you're connected to your inner wisdom, that part of you knows the path forward and also is aware of what the ego needs to feel safe in the changes. Once that connection has been made, you can explore how to navigate forward on the things your soul longs to do. 

Listen to the Wisdom in the Body

Your body instantly responds to the energy in the choices on your path. Listen to Rita's discussion at 31:36 of how to tune into the knowing of the body, a process she learned from career coach Julia James. It's amazing how much the physicality of your body can act out what your inner wisdom is saying.

We have a new podcast episode every month! Please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  You can send us your question in the comments below or record your question here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/podcast/

We are also very happy to share the gift of Reiki through our Giving Back Program! Every month we give away free Reiki sessions to exceptional people.  Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/giving-back-program/  

Join us on an unforgettable self-healing and meditation retreat in Kananaskis - July 28 to 30, 2023

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In this episode, Geneva Robins and Kim Star share how Reiki self-healing has improved their lives, restored balance, and provided nurturing, safety, and guidance. Self-healing with energy is simple to learn and can immediately begin shifting your energy state to one of peace and calm.

Why do we start with Reiki Self-Healing?

Before you can help others, you have to start with yourself. In Reiki, we start our teaching with Level I, the self-healing level. We spend eight weeks on self-healing before moving on to learning how to do Reiki on others. Why?

The simplest answer is that all healing is self-healing. When we are helping others with Reiki, we're actually simply supporting their own self-healing process. The energy that connects with the person is generated by their strong desire to heal. As practitioners, we are merely conduits of that energy.

Our work is to be as clear as possible so the energy can flow without resistance.

Self-healing is something we do everyday. Partly because that is the best way to help others, the session goes so smoothly when we are tuned up! But mostly, we practice Reiki for ourselves because it is a major tool for clarity, peace, energy, and our own mental and emotional balance. So much growth and healing can happen in only a few minutes of self-healing.

Can anyone learn Reiki Self-Healing?

Yes! We have a self-healing meditation you can try right now. In just a few minutes you can dramatically shift your energy to one of peace, calm, and well-being. Check out Insight Timer for other meditations which can boost your self-healing practice.

In Reiki Level I, you get lots of time to practice self-healing and to understand the core principles of Reiki. Its easy for anyone to begin learning a new way to connect to your spiritual side and also meet others who are sensitive and kind.

We have a new podcast episode every month! Please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 

You can send us your question in the comments below or record your question here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/podcast/

We are also very happy to share the gift of Reiki through our Giving Back Program! Every month we give away free Reiki sessions to exceptional people. 

Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/giving-back-program/

Join us on an unforgettable self-healing and meditation retreat in Kananaskis - July 28 to 30, 2023

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What is Perfectionism?

In researching for this episode, we found quite a few pithy quotes and definitions for perfectionism. Perhaps the best and most direct comes straight from the dictionary:

"the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness" ~Merriam Webster Dictionary

Ooof! That hits home, doesn't it? Perfectionism is a pattern of setting yourself up to fail and then beating yourself up when you inevitably fail. It gets you coming and going. It often gets in the way of true productivity and success and paralyzes forward movement. 

It's very different from healthy striving toward mastery. As Brené Brown says, "Healthy striving is self-focused. Perfectionism is other-focused." We get caught in the impossible task of pleasing others and endlessly trying to figure out what they want. It's a way of trying to act our way into connection rather than just being who we are and finding true belonging.

Tools to Release Perfectionism

There are many, but here are some of our go-to emotional and energetic tools to help untangle the perfectionistic impulse.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Reframing Perfectionistic Thoughts

Cognitive behavioural therapy is a tool that helps you reframe thoughts, identify thinking errors and look for the positive intent hidden within the negative thought. It's quite powerful and can help to understand the motivation behind the perfectionistic thinking. You can get help from a therapist, or you can try out a therapy app like Wysa. 

Get support from a Loved One

People who love us unconditionally are amazing to reach out to anytime, but especially when we're in the grips of perfectionism. Their kind and accepting energy can soothe the mental strain of trying to get it all right, perfectly every time. Listen to them! You're value is not tied to what you do, it is connected to your being, which never needs to change to be worthy of love and belonging.

Reiki and the Reiki Ideals

Of course, we like Reiki for most things here! It can help bring a gentle energy to the serious and harsh mode of thinking that perfectionism can cause. You can set your intention in a Reiki session to focus on gentleness, kindness, and radical acceptance. Then you can simply rest in that healing vibe.

One of the Reiki ideals is to be kind to yourself and all living things. This is a primary tool for releasing perfectionism. Offering yourself kindness, compassion, and gentleness is the antidote.

The Reiki ideals are these five simple but challenging concepts: just for today, I will let go of anger; I will let go of worry; I will be grateful for my many blessings; I will do my work honestly; and I will be kind to myself and every living thing. 

All of the Reiki ideals can pop up when we're dealing with something like perfectionism. There are many great tools in "The Secret Art of Happiness" that can help alleviate the energy that lies underneath perfectionism. The Affirmation Ladders for the Reiki Ideals are especially helpful to help shift harsh modes of thinking and gradually help you shift into a positive and relaxed mindset. 

Get a free pdf copy of the Affirmation Ladders for the Reiki Ideals.

Gratitude helps soothe Perfectionism

Whatever it is your shame gremlins or little perfectionist monsters are telling you about what you're doing, could you maybe find a teensy little aspect of it to be grateful for? You showed up? You're trying? That's amazing. And especially when there are harsh voices like that chirping at you, that is such a big thing in and of itself. Trying to reframe it with gratitude can soothe everything.

Don't fight with Shame. Just be kind.

There's a temptation to fight with perfectionistic shame. But that just begets more of that energy. So go back to gentleness, and even gratitude for the inner critic voice. Because it's really just trying to keep you safe. It's just trying to help you be connected and loved. It is going about it all the wrong way. But it has developed for a reason, because of something that you learned or something that occurred in the past. It is just maladaptive now. Take a step back and see what it is trying to accomplish. Then you can soften around the whole process. Entertain the thought, "Maybe it's true that I will still be worthy of love, even if this isn't perfect."

What if our imperfections are actually what makes us Real?

There can be such a drive towards correcting every single flaw in ourselves and our work that we can sometimes miss the beauty of our imperfections. In nature, the imperfect parts of a landscape are what makes it look real and genuine. When you look at a tree, a real tree in the forest. It's not symmetrical. The branches are not evenly spaced. There's live ones, there's dead ones, there's one going off and weird angles. But when you look at the whole of it, it's all beautiful.

And if we look at ourselves with that same kind view, maybe all of the things that maybe make us different or might be perceived as flaws or difficulties, what if they are actually what contribute to our beauty and our uniqueness in the world and make us exactly who we are.

Even the Earth itself is not perfect, it wobbles. It's not a perfect sphere. And yet, it's pretty good as planets go. Maybe give yourself that same grace, love, and acceptance. It's okay to not be perfect. It's wonderful to be uniquely you!

 

 

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