Explore every episode of the podcast Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

You've done the therapy. Read the books. Analyzed your childhood. You know EXACTLY why you keep repeating the same patterns. So why isn't anything changing? Here's the uncomfortable truth: Understanding your problems isn't the same as solving them. And waiting until you feel confident, motivated, or emotionally ready might be the very thing keeping you stuck. In this episode, I'm joined by Amy Morin, psychotherapist and bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, to challenge everything you think you know about mental strength, healing, and what it actually takes to change your life. In this episode, you'll learn: The mental habits secretly keeping you stuck (and how to break them). Why all that self-awareness isn't translating into real change. The surprising difference between mental strength and pretending you're okay. How to stop overthinking, overcome self-doubt, and take action before you feel ready. Three practical strategies to build mental strength, even when life feels overwhelming. Here's the bottom line: You don't have to feel strong to start changing your life. But you do have to start. And you don't have to figure it out alone. At Growing Self, our therapist-coaches combine the depth of therapy with the action-oriented approach of coaching to help you understand what's holding you back, break old patterns, and turn those breakthroughs into meaningful, lasting change. Ready to stop just understanding your problems and start doing something about them? Book a free consultation with our team. Let's turn all that self-awareness into actual progress. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at Sequencing.com Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS Tin Can — A screen-free phone that gives kids more freedom to talk to friends, with parental controls built in. Get $10 off your first order at tincan.com/LHS Vinted — A secondhand marketplace app that makes it simple to sell clothes you no longer wear and earn extra cash. The app is free to download, and with no seller fees, you keep what you earn.

You love your dad. He did his best. So why are you still desperately trying to prove you're good enough? Why do you keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners? Why can't you stop fixing everyone else's problems? And why does being the person who "has it all together" feel so damn exhausting? What if the patterns ruining your peace today started with a wound you didn't even know you had? I'm joined by psychotherapist and bestselling author Terri Cole to unpack the truth about "daddy issues," the invisible father wound, and how childhood experiences can quietly shape your self-worth, relationships, and ability to receive love. And trust me, this conversation got personal. In this episode, you'll learn: The surprising signs of daddy issues you might be mistaking for personality traits. Why even loving, well-intentioned fathers can leave emotional wounds. How your childhood may be driving your people-pleasing, perfectionism, and compulsive fixing. Why you keep falling for emotionally unavailable people and mistaking familiarity for chemistry. How to start healing your father wound, reclaim your worth, and finally stop walking on eggshells. Here's what I want you to know: You don't have to keep living out patterns you never consciously chose. If you're ready to understand what's keeping you stuck and finally start changing it, my team of therapist-coaches can help. Book a free consultation to take the first step toward healing your father wound, reclaiming your self-worth, and creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at Sequencing.com Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS Tin Can — A screen-free phone that gives kids more freedom to talk to friends, with parental controls built in. Get $10 off your first order at tincan.com/LHS Vinted — A secondhand marketplace app that makes it simple to sell clothes you no longer wear and earn extra cash. The app is free to download, and with no seller fees, you keep what you earn.

They love you. So why does it feel like their job gets the best of them, and you get whatever is left? Maybe you're always waiting for them to come home. Maybe you've stopped asking for more because they're so busy. Or maybe you're the one saying, “I'm sorry, but I have to work.” Again. In this episode, I’m talking with Growing Self couples therapist Silas Hendrich, LMFT, about what happens when a career becomes the third in your relationship, and how to find your way back to each other. You’ll learn: Why high achievers can become more attached to work when things at home get harder Why the partner at home eventually stops asking for what they need How resentment quietly replaces connection The boundaries that can start rebuilding trust Small ways to reconnect, even when work isn’t slowing down Nobody has to be the villain for your relationship to be in trouble. You can both be doing your best and still wake up one day feeling more like roommates than partners. The good news? You don’t have to wait for the job to change, the busy season to end, or life to magically calm down. Small, intentional changes can start rebuilding warmth, trust, and connection now. If work has been coming between you, book a free consultation with Silas. He can help you understand what’s keeping you stuck and start finding your way back to each other. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at Sequencing.com Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS Tin Can — A screen-free phone that gives kids more freedom to talk to friends, with parental controls built in. Get $10 off your first order at tincan.com/LHS Vinted — A secondhand marketplace app that makes it simple to sell clothes you no longer wear and earn extra cash. The app is free to download, and with no seller fees, you keep what you earn.

“I need space.” Three words. And suddenly you’re wondering if your relationship is over. Are they coming back? Did I do something wrong? Should I give them space or fight for us? Is this actually a breakup and they just don’t have the courage to say it? That uncertainty can be excruciating. Because “I need space” can mean I need 20 minutes to calm down. It can mean I don’t know if I want this relationship anymore. And sometimes, it really does mean goodbye. In this episode, marriage and family therapist and Growing Self clinician Jennifer Cunningham is helping you figure out which one you’re dealing with and what to do next. You’ll learn: How to tell a healthy pause from serious emotional withdrawal What not to do when your partner starts pulling away When taking a break can actually save a relationship The warning signs that “space” may really mean a breakup The question to ask when you’re done living in limbo You deserve clarity, not emotional purgatory. If your partner is pulling away and you don’t know what it means for your relationship, book a free consultation with Jennifer. She can help you understand what’s happening, what you want, and whether there’s a path forward. Xoxo,Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at Sequencing.com Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS

Here’s the brutal truth about making friends as an adult: nobody is coming to find you. You want more friends. You want people who really know you, people you can call, people you actually want to spend time with. You just don’t want to go through the awkward, exhausting process of making them. And maybe somewhere along the way, you started wondering: Is something wrong with me? Am I too introverted? Too awkward? Too weird? Nope. But there is an uncomfortable truth: your future best friends probably aren’t going to magically show up at your house. Making friends requires action. The good news? You do not need to become an extrovert, work the room, or reinvent your personality. I’m joined by psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Suzanne Wallach to unpack why adult friendship has gotten so hard and what actually works when you’re lonely, out of practice, or just really tired. You’ll learn: Why making friends as an adult feels so freaking hard Where adults actually meet people they might want to be friends with What to do when you want friends but dread the effort How introverts can build close friendships without pretending to be extroverts Why being comfortable alone can actually help you build better relationships Because you do not need 100 friends. You need a few good ones. And you don’t need to be less weird. You need to find your specific genre of weirdo. And if you’re realizing there’s a gap between the social life you have and the one you want, you don’t have to figure out how to close it alone. At Growing Self, our therapists and coaches help people create stronger relationships, build confidence, and make meaningful changes in every area of their lives. Book your free consultation and get matched with the right expert for you. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at⁠ shopify.com/lhs⁠ Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/lhs⁠⁠ Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at ⁠Sequencing.com⁠ Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS

A bad strategy can trick you into giving up on the right dream. The problem isn’t what you want… it’s how you’re trying to get it.  Turns out, there's a totally different way of planning your life that's going to get you going to get you further faster. My guest Courtney De Ronde dropped a line in this conversation that stopped me cold: “We give up on our vision instead of shifting our strategy.”  You may not have the wrong dream. You may just be taking the wrong road to get there. In this episode, we’re breaking down why smart, motivated people get stuck and how to build a life plan that actually moves you forward. You’ll learn: Why trying harder may actually keep you stuck The difference between your vision and your strategy How to turn a big dream into something you can actually do this week Whether you’re a visionary or a doer, and how each gets derailed How to know when it’s time to change course instead of giving up Why the thing you keep calling a “discipline problem” might actually be a support problem Courtney's framework moves from a long-term vision to a realistic annual milestone and finally into the days, weeks, and quarters where progress actually happens.  Before you decide the dream isn’t going to happen, make sure you’re not just stuck on the wrong road. Take the free “What’s Holding You Back?” quiz to figure out where you’re getting stuck. And if you’re ready for support creating a different path forward, schedule a free consultation with a coach at Growing Self. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at Sequencing.com Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS

Whose life is this? You built it. You chose it. So why doesn’t it feel like yours anymore? Maybe you checked all the boxes. Built the career. Created the relationship. Became the responsible one, the successful one, the person everyone can count on. And then one day you looked around and thought, Wait... is this actually what I want? That’s the uncomfortable realization at the heart of this episode. My guest, Growing Self therapist Tania Chikhani, knows it personally. Before 30, she was managing a half-billion-dollar brand and headed toward an executive career. On paper, she was wildly successful. Inside, as she puts it, her “joie de vivre” was gone. Because sometimes the life you built was designed for an earlier version of you. Or around what your family wanted. What your partner wanted. What you thought you were supposed to want. And eventually, you have to ask: Who am I now? In this episode, Tania and I are talking about how to find yourself again when you genuinely don’t know what you want next. You’ll learn: Why the life you wanted can suddenly stop feeling like yours How to figure out what you actually like and want Why you can’t always think your way back to yourself How to reconnect with yourself through experimentation and experience Why your blind spots can keep pulling you back into the same patterns A powerful “Perfect Day” exercise to help you see what you really want next If you’ve been looking around at your own life thinking, How did I get here?, this conversation is for you. And if you’re ready to figure out who you are now and what comes next, schedule a free consultation with Tania at growingself.com/tania. Xoxo,Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

The world is already judging your appearance…but the real danger is when you start judging your worth by it, too. FYI: This is NOT in your head. The way you look really does affect how people treat you (unfortunately).Research shows that appearance can influence who gets hired, who gets helped, who gets the benefit of the doubt, and even the assumptions people make about you in a split second.But that doesn’t mean that you need to buy into the lies our culture is trying to hand you. In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with psychologist and The Problem With Pretty author Dr. Allycin Powell-Hicks to unpack the uncomfortable psychology of beauty, appearance, and self-worth, and, more importantly, how to stop letting the mirror determine how you feel about yourself. You’ll learn: How your appearance can quietly influence so many shocking aspects of your life The consequences of being seen as “unattractive” (and how to overcome them) How beauty standards get tangled up with your confidence and identity Why tying too much of your self-esteem to your appearance is a dangerous investment How to build a stronger sense of self that isn’t dependent on how you look Your appearance may influence how the world sees you. It does not have to define your worth. If you’re ready to build deeper confidence, strengthen your sense of self, and feel more secure in who you are, schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self therapist or coach at growingself.com. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

What if the resentment you feel toward your partner isn’t actually about what they’re doing wrong…but about what you keep doing? You do the dishes. You make the bed. You remember everything. You fix problems before anyone asks. And then you quietly think: Why do I have to do everything around here? Here’s the twist: You may be blaming your partner for resentment that’s actually coming from how much you’ve taken on. That’s the realization that changed Alyssa Zander’s relationship. After four years of believing her partner needed to change, they broke up, and an unexpected encounter forced her to ask a much harder question: What was my part in this? Today, that same man is her fiancé. In this conversation, Alyssa and I unpack how over-functioning, unspoken expectations, and trying to manage your partner can quietly create the exact relationship dynamic you’re so angry about. You’ll learn: Why resentment may be a sign you’ve been doing too much How over-functioning can accidentally reinforce the dynamic you hate Why trying to fix your partner’s moods can push you further apart What to do when you’re thinking, “Why do I have to do everything?” How to ask for what you need instead of expecting your partner to read your mind Your resentment might not be asking you to try harder. It might be asking you to put something down. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self  P.S. If resentment keeps showing up in your relationship and you’re ready to understand what’s really happening (and how to change it), schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self relationship expert at growingself.com. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

You can navigate a difficult conversation with your boss, calm down a frustrated friend, and explain exactly how you feel…so why does one sentence from your partner turn you into someone who suddenly can’t communicate at all? Here’s the bombshell: You might not actually have a communication problem. Because the words aren’t the real problem. In this episode, I’m joined by Brandy Buckner, M.S., LMFTA, marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to expose what’s actually happening underneath those impossible conversations: the communication styles you inherited, the attachment reflexes that take over when you feel threatened, and the private story running through your head before you shut down or lash out. You’ll learn: Why great communicators completely lose each other at home What’s really happening when one person pursues and the other shuts down The hidden feeling underneath anger that changes the entire conversation How to take a timeout without making your partner feel abandoned What to tell yourself when every instinct says, Get me out of here Why waiting for your partner to change keeps you both trapped Because sometimes the breakthrough isn’t learning what to say. It’s finally understanding what’s happening inside both of you before anyone says a word. And if you’re tired of having the same fight on repeat, schedule a free consultation with Brandy. She can help you change the pattern. She works with couples at Growing Self to uncover what’s happening beneath the conflict and build a relationship where you can actually hear, understand, and reach each other. Schedule a free consultation with her.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

If love makes you suspicious, compliments make you uncomfortable, and happiness makes you wait for something bad to happen…this episode might explain your entire life. Because what if your insecurity isn’t a personality flaw? What if your brain learned, somewhere along the way, that feeling good about yourself is dangerous? Psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Marisa Franco is back with fascinating new science about why insecurity can survive years of therapy, affirmations, self-help, and “working on yourself” (and what can finally begin to change it). Here’s the mind-bending part: Your memories don’t just record your past. They predict your future. And when your brain expects rejection, humiliation, or abandonment, even love and success can feel threatening. But those old memories aren’t necessarily fixed. Dr. Franco explains how the science of memory reconsolidation may help change the way the past continues to live inside you. You'll learn: Why compliments, love, and success can actually make you feel worse Why you can feel deeply insecure even when you can’t explain why How old memories can quietly shape what you expect from yourself and others How memory reconsolidation can begin changing the emotional impact of the past Why affirmations sometimes backfire when you have low self-worth How to recognize when deeper support may be the right next step If you’ve spent years trying to “love yourself” and wondering why nothing seems to stick, you need to hear this. You may not need another pep talk. You may finally need to understand what your brain has been trying to protect you from. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Ready to stop letting old insecurities run the show? Book a free consultation with a Growing Self clinician and get matched with the right person to help you do this deeper work. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

We can all spot controlling people seeking influence over us. But what about our blind spots?  What happens when other people are feeling controlled by us and we don't even realize what we're doing? Turns out what many of us call “helping” can feel controlling to our partners. This is not anything to feel bad about or ashamed of. It's just reality. Control issues rarely feel controlling when we’re doing it. They feel like being right. Keeping things on track. Getting your partner to understand. Making sure nothing goes wrong. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with Seth Bender, M.A., LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach at Growing Self, to expose what control issues actually look like — including the ones you may not recognize in yourself. You’ll learn: Why control itself isn’t the problem The hidden reason you need things to go your way How to recognize your personal “rattlesnake rattles” before you react When reassurance quietly becomes control Why trying to control your partner backfires How to stop managing them and start managing yourself Because sometimes the hardest relationship truth is this: You may not experience yourself the way your partner experiences you. And being willing to see that could change everything. If this hits close to home, Seth can help. He works with individuals and couples to understand these deeper patterns, rebuild emotional safety, and create real change without blame or shame. Book a free consultation with Seth at growingself.com/seth. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

You said yes. You smiled. You went along with it. And afterward, you thought: Why didn’t I say something? If you struggle to stand up for yourself, Dr. Sunita Sah has a surprising message for you: You do not need to become louder, tougher, or more confrontational. Defiance is a skill. And you can practice it. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Cornell professor and DEFY author Dr. Sunita Sah reveal how to stop automatically complying and start acting in alignment with what you actually believe. In this episode you’ll learn: Why staying silent can cost you more than speaking up The 3-question “Defiance Compass” for deciding when to act Why surprise makes it so hard to stand up for yourself The difference between compliance and a true yes How to practice speaking up before the pressure is on When “standing up for yourself” actually becomes false defiance You don’t need a bigger personality. You need to know what matters to you — and what you’re going to do when it matters. Ready to stop saying yes when you mean no? Let’s get into it. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby ⁠Growing Self⁠ PS: As you heard in this conversation, being able to know how you feel and set healthy boundaries with others has roots that go deep. We all have work to do around this. If you'd like to dig into this with an expert coaching therapist who can help you make these changes, get in touch. It all starts with a free conversation. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

Your workplace feels wrong. But do you actually know what you’re dealing with? If you've been calling your job a hostile work environment, stop…because that phrase carries more weight than you might realize. It's a term with a specific meaning, and the words you use can change what happens next. Because “hostile” and “toxic” do not mean the same thing. One is a description. The other can raise a legal red flag. I didn't know the distinction either until my guest, clinical psychologist and organizational consultant Dr. Jennifer Wisdom, stopped me mid-conversation and explained it. And that wasn't the only moment that made me sit up straighter. HR is not actually there to protect you. If your workplace is making you miserable, you may feel like you have two choices: put up with it or quit. But there is an enormous middle ground between those two options, and you may have far more power than you realize. Listen to learn: The critical difference between a toxic and hostile work environment The 3 questions to ask when something at work feels seriously wrong What you need to understand about HR before asking for help How to recognize when workplace behavior may be crossing a legal line What you can do when quitting isn’t an option How to create change, even when you’re not in charge This isn't just a conversation about surviving a bad workplace. It's about what you can actually do about it. By the end, you'll have concrete moves you can start making Monday morning. No new title, no permission, and no resignation letter required. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

You love them. So why can’t you shake the feeling that something might be wrong? Nothing is bad enough to leave. There’s no glaring red flag. You’re happy… mostly. But when you imagine getting engaged, moving in together, having a baby, or saying this is my person forever, something inside you hesitates. Do NOT ignore that feeling. But don’t assume it means you should break up, either. In this episode, I’m sitting down with marriage and family therapist Dr. Benjamin Jones about the yellow, orange, and even beige flags that can leave you questioning your future together…and how to figure out what they actually mean. Dr. Ben offers a reframe that changes everything: Stop waiting for certainty. Start looking for confidence. You’ll learn: How to tell a solvable problem from a real deal breaker Why you should never marry someone expecting them to change The question to ask when you love someone but still aren’t sure Why confidence matters more than certainty Which relationship problems can actually get better with the right support Why waiting until after you’re engaged to ask the hard questions may be too late If you’re questioning whether this is really your person, listen to this episode before you make your next move. And if you want help figuring it out, book a free consultation with Dr. Ben at growingself.com/ben. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

The feeling you can’t shake isn’t going away. And there’s a reason. The regret that keeps coming back. The boredom you feel in a life you actually love. The shame that whispers something terrible about you. Your instinct might be to fix it. Get over it. Make it stop. I want you to try something very different. In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Daniel Smith, author of Hard Feelings, about the emotions most of us would happily delete from our lives, and why getting rid of them might be exactly the wrong goal. This conversation surprised me. Daniel says some things most people would never admit out loud. We get into regret, boredom, shame, anger, relationships, and the uncomfortable question that can completely change the way you understand what you’re feeling. You’ll learn: Why some feelings keep coming back no matter how hard you try to move on The surprising connection between boredom and the things you love most What may really be hiding underneath an old regret Why shame deserves to be questioned, not automatically believed When a dark emotion deserves your attention (and when you need to push back) The one question I want you to ask the next time a hard feeling shows up Because sometimes the feeling you’re trying hardest to escape is the one you need to understand. And once you hear what it has to say, you might see your life very differently. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

If you’re doing EVERYTHING in your relationship and starting to resent the hell out of your partner for it…we need to talk. You’re the one who notices. Remembers. Plans. Worries. Follows up. Makes sure things actually happen. And after a while, it stops feeling like we’re in this together and starts feeling like: Why am I the only one who cares? I’ve been a marriage counselor for over twenty years, and I can tell you: this dynamic can get ugly. Because underneath the arguments about dishes, schedules, kids, errands, and who was supposed to do what is something much more painful: If you really loved me, why would you let me carry all of this alone? That’s why I invited sociologist Dr. Leah Ruppanner, author of Drained, to join me for a very real conversation about mental load, resentment, and how to create a relationship that actually feels balanced again. And some of what she shared surprised me. Because the solution may not be getting your partner to do more. It may not be splitting everything 50/50. And some of the things you’re doing to make your relationship more equitable could actually be keeping you stuck. You’ll discover: Why does the mental load turn into such intense resentment? What’s really happening when you feel like you’re the only one who cares? Why can asking your partner to “just help more” backfire? What if 50/50 isn’t actually the healthiest goal? Are you unknowingly making it harder for your partner to step up? And how do you change this dynamic when your partner isn’t changing? If you’re exhausted from carrying your relationship (and even more exhausted from being angry about it), listen to this before you have the same fight again. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

What if the thing you’re most ashamed of isn’t proof that you’re a bad person…but proof that you care deeply about being a good one? If there’s something you did (or didn’t do) that you still replay in your mind years later, I want you to hear this: There may be a name for what you’re carrying. Moral injury. And no, healing it does not mean pretending it was okay. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Jaimie Lusk, a board-certified psychologist, Marine Corps veteran, longtime VA clinician, and leading expert on moral injury. Together, we unpack why some experiences turn into crushing guilt and shame, and how to finally start loosening their grip. You’ll learn: Why guilt that won’t go away may actually be evidence of your conscience What moral injury is and why it can leave you feeling fundamentally “bad” The “million-dollar question” that can completely change how you see what happened How to separate your actual responsibility from the responsibility you’ve taken on What to say when someone you love is withdrawing under the weight of shame Why healing isn’t about erasing the past, but about deciding what you do with it now How to find the right kind of professional help for moral injury You cannot go back and change what happened. But you do not have to spend the rest of your life punishing yourself for it. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

The problem isn't that you can't decide. It's that you have too many options. If every big decision feels exhausting, there's a reason for it, and it has nothing to do with willpower. I know because I'm exactly the same way. I once spent 90 minutes trying to pick something to watch on Netflix, watched every trailer, and finally handed the remote to my husband and said, "You choose." Sound familiar? In this episode, I'm joined by David Epstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Range and bestselling author of Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better. Together, we explore why keeping every door open is quietly making us more anxious, more overwhelmed, and less satisfied, and why creating limits is often the fastest path to clarity, confidence, and peace. You'll learn: Why having more options often leads to more regret The surprising brain bias that keeps you stuck How to stop second-guessing yourself after you make a decision Why "good enough" beats trying to find the perfect choice How to make big life decisions feel smaller and less scary A simple subtraction exercise that instantly clarifies your priorities Why committing to one path actually gives you more freedom, not less If you're tired of overthinking, afraid of making the wrong choice, or keeping every possibility alive because you don't want to miss out, this conversation will help you stop spinning and start moving forward. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Money. Intimacy. Chores. Parenting. Sometimes it's just the way they said "okay." If it feels like you're fighting about everything, don't try to fix everything. Fix this first. In this episode, I'm joined by my colleague Alejandra Piñero Stillmann, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to talk about the one change that makes every other relationship problem easier to solve: emotionally safe communication. Because here's what I've learned after working with thousands of couples... The fight you're having is rarely the real problem. When couples feel stuck, they usually try to solve money, intimacy, parenting, or household conflict one issue at a time. But if every conversation turns into an argument, none of those problems stay solved. The foundation has to come first. In this episode you'll learn: Why you're probably fixing the wrong problem The real reason the same arguments keep happening What emotionally safe communication actually looks like How to stop seeing each other as opponents and start working as a team Why lasting relationship change takes practice—not perfection The one question to ask your partner tonight that can change the entire conversation If you're ready to take the next step, download my free Communication That Connects training and workbook at www.growingself.com/communication. And if you'd like personalized support, you can learn more about Alejandra Piñero Stillmann and book a free consultation at www.growingself.com/alejandra. Alejandra works with individuals and couples in both English and Spanish and specializes in helping people build healthier, more connected relationships. Sometimes the biggest breakthrough in your relationship isn't solving the biggest fight. It's finally learning how to have a different conversation. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

I need you to stop making that pros-and-cons list. It’s not going to give you the answer. When you’re trying to decide whether to leave a relationship, the not-knowing can feel unbearable. One day, you’re done. The next, you’re wondering whether you should try one more time. I’ve worked with couples for decades, and here’s what I wish more people knew: You may not be stuck because you’re indecisive. You may be asking the wrong question. In this episode, I’m talking with Growing Self marriage and family therapist Georgi Chizk about discernment counseling, a short, structured process that helps you stop spinning and start getting clear. And there’s something important I want you to hear: You don’t have only two choices. There’s a third path nobody talks about. Listen to learn: The one-to-ten question that reveals your true commitment level Why couples therapy can fail when one person is already leaning out How trying harder can accidentally push your partner further away The three legitimate paths forward, including choosing to stay Two exercises you can use tonight to begin finding clarity You cannot repair a relationship until you know whether both people genuinely want to try. And you don’t need to have the answer before asking for help. Georgi offers free consultations for people who feel exhausted, uncertain, and ready to find a clear path forward. Meet Georgi and schedule your free consultation at www.growingself.com/georgi. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Money shame grows in silence. And the secret you’re carrying is hurting you more than the mistake itself. My guest, Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, woke up on her 30th birthday jobless, living in her childhood bedroom, and $300,000 in debt. She’d been scammed. She was facing foreclosure. And she was too ashamed to tell her own father—an accountant and CFO—while living under his roof. Then she finally told the truth. That moment changed everything. In this deeply honest conversation, Tiffany and I unpack why emotional baggage related to money can be the biggest obstacle standing between where you are now and where you want to be financially.  Learn why smart, capable people hide money mistakes, and why shame can keep those mistakes growing long after the original crisis is over. As Tiffany puts it, “shame shields solutions.” Listen to learn: Why unresolved shame cripples your ability to become financially secure Why money shame feels so isolating How to separate a mistake from your identity The three patterns behind many financial disasters How to challenge the money story still running your life How to cultivate a positive relationship with money so that you can earn what you’re worth… and keep (and grow) your money!! My friend, this is a very different way to think about your relationship with money. But working on yourself in this area unlocks the door to the financial prosperity and security that you want and deserve. Xoxo, Dr Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

I need you to hear this: You do not have to feel ready to change your life. But believing you need to feel ready? That’s what gets people stuck, every time.  Here’s the deal: You already know what you need to do. But if you keep waiting—for confidence, motivation, certainty, or some magical sign that says, now…. that what needs to change. The new idea: feeling ready comes after you take action, not before. That was just one of the main takeaways from an incredibly inspiring conversation with Cate Hall — a woman who doesn’t just preach that, she lives it.  She’s used this method to become a Supreme Court attorney, #1-ranked poker player (really!), and most recently the author of You Can Just Do Things. She’s here to teach you about the hidden reason smart, capable people stay stuck, and more importantly, how to break the pattern. Listen to learn: The tiny shift that turns “someone should” into “I could” Why waiting for motivation may be the very thing keeping you frozen How to take action before your brain has talked you out of it Why rejection gets less powerful the moment you stop avoiding it How one brave move can create opportunities you never could have planned You do not need a personality transplant. You do not need a perfect plan. You need one move. And that move can change everything. So press play. Let’s get you moving. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs. Music: Freedom Day by Andy Slatter

Sometimes, the people you love most can push your nervous system past its breaking point. Nervous system regulation is what helps you stay grounded, communicate clearly, and respond instead of react. And when you don’t have it, you snap. You shut down. You get flooded, overwhelmed, or completely disconnected from the people you care about most. You’re not failing. You’re not “too sensitive.” And you’re not bad at relationships. Your nervous system may simply be overloaded. I’m talking with emotional-development expert Alyssa Blask Campbell about why two people can experience the exact same moment in completely different ways, and how those invisible differences can create conflict, disconnection, and hurt feelings. Listen to learn: The four hidden senses shaping your emotional world Why generic self-care works for some people—and fails others How sensory differences create surprising relationship conflicts The difference between numbing yourself and truly regulating How to build calming strategies that actually fit you Sometimes the person you love isn’t ignoring you, overreacting, or being difficult. Their nervous system may simply be speaking a different language. I hope this conversation helps you understand yourself more deeply, take things less personally, and bring more compassion into your relationships. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

How often should couples have sex? I’m going to tell you the truth: If you’re counting, something deeper is already asking for your attention. When your partner starts feeling more like a roommate, it’s easy to panic. To compare. To wonder whether your relationship is broken. But the “right number” isn’t the answer. If you’re lying next to the person you love wondering, “What happened to us?”... this episode is for you. In this conversation, I’m joined by Growing Self clinician and certified sex therapist Dori Bagi to uncover the hidden reasons desire fades, and what can actually bring it back. Listen to learn: Why sexual frequency is often a distracting symptom How spontaneous and responsive desire work differently The hidden expectations quietly creating pressure and resentment How hormones, body image, and emotional disconnection affect desire Whether attraction can return after it feels completely gone You may not have a libido problem. You may have an understanding problem. And once you can finally see what’s happening, you can start changing it. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. If this is touching something tender in your relationship, you don’t have to figure it out alone. You can connect directly with Dori for compassionate, expert support at growingself.com/dori.  Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

Have you ever overextended yourself to the point where you collapsed? Gave and gave and gave until your well was dry.. The problem isn't that you can't handle hard things. It's that you haven't learned how to find your sustainable pace. If you're trying to figure out how to lead a productive and full life without becoming exhausted and depleted in the process, this episode is for you. In this conversation, I'm joined by award-winning science writer Elizabeth Svoboda, author of The Art of Pacing. Together, we unpack the hidden pattern behind that all-or-nothing cycle and why the answer isn't pushing harder or checking out completely. You'll learn how to work with your energy instead of constantly fighting against it, including a simple breathing technique that can calm your nervous system in just a few minutes. Listen to learn: Why high achievers keep swinging between overdoing it and shutting down How to calm your nervous system with a simple, science-backed strategy you can do immediately Hacks that make your to do list feel easier (and energizing) The one question that helps you make better decisions about what to say yes to How to get clarity about YOUR sustainable pace (not someone else’s) How to get your energy back after a “burnout breakdown” and avoid going there again. It’s time to stop chasing someone else's pace and start trusting your own. This episode will give you direction about how to do that. Lastly, take 10 seconds to think about who in your life is barely holding it all together and needs to hear this message today. Forward it to them.  And there it is: You just made a difference. (We're on this mission, together.) Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

You might not be falling out of love. You might just be exhausted. When you can’t sleep, everything gets louder. The resentment. The anxiety. The dishwasher fight that suddenly feels like proof your entire relationship is broken. I’ve seen this happen again and again: people blame their partner, their marriage, or themselves—when the real saboteur is sleep deprivation. In this episode, I’m talking with marriage and family therapist and sleep expert Chrissy Lawler about what exhaustion is really doing to your mood, your parenting, and the people you love most. Listen to learn: Why exhaustion makes every conflict feel more serious How poor sleep quietly drains connection and intimacy The counterintuitive reason to get out of bed when you can’t sleep How caffeine, alcohol, and nighttime habits sabotage your rest Why sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is go to bed angry Simple, evidence-based ways to start sleeping better tonight Before you decide your relationship is broken, check your sleep. A full night of rest might change the entire conversation. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠.

Are you chronically late, stressed, and frazzled? Feel like you never have enough time to do what you really want and need to do? Here’s the reality: Until you can manage your time, you’ll always feel out of control. Poor  time management isn’t just making you late. It’s quietly stealing your life. If you feel buried, behind, overcommitted, and weirdly guilty all the time, this episode is going to hit hard. Because the problem may not be that you’re lazy, scattered, or “bad at time management.” The real problem is that you’re saying yes to everything and accidentally saying no to the life you actually want. I’m sitting down with Samantha Lane, TEDx speaker and founder of Origami Day, to talk about the simple time management shift that can help you stop living on autopilot. Here’s the uncomfortable (but also liberating and life-changing) truth: You don’t have a time problem. You have a choosing problem. Listen to learn: Why poor time management is really a life-management problem The brutal truth about your 168 hours each week How every “yes” secretly becomes a “no” Why your to-do list will never actually be done The simple weekly planning ritual that can calm the chaos If you’ve been trying to become more disciplined, more productive, more organized, and somehow still feel like you’re failing, this conversation will help you stop blaming yourself and start choosing your life on purpose. You’re not behind.You’re just ready to choose differently. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

Your partner heard something you never said. That’s why the conversation went sideways. That’s why you’re suddenly defending yourself.That’s why they’re hurt.That’s why you’re both thinking, “How did we get here again?” If you’re struggling with a lack of communication in a relationship, this episode is for you. Because the problem may not be that you’re bad at communicating. It may be that you and your partner are speaking completely different emotional languages. In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Jason VanRuler, author of Discovering Your Communication Type, about why the same words can land beautifully for one person and completely miss another. We’ll unpack the five communication types, why good intentions still create painful disconnection, and how to speak in a way your partner can actually receive. You'll learn: Why your partner hears something totally different than what you meant How the same words can comfort one person and trigger another The five communication types that shape every hard conversation Why “men can’t communicate” is a lazy, damaging myth How to stop blaming each other and start translating each other What to say after a fight when you actually want to repair You don’t have to keep having the same argument forever. You may just need to learn how your partner listens. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

Wired and tired? I’ve been there too, and I know first hand… this is not sustainable. Help is here. If you’re searching for nervous system regulation strategies because your body feels like it’s waving a white flag — the insomnia, the tension, the stomach issues, the collapse at night — this episode is a must listen.  Join me for this conversation with somatic expert Liz Tenuto, known as The Workout Witch, about why chronic stress gets stored in the body, why your doctor can say “everything looks normal” when you feel anything but, and how somatic healing can help you come back to yourself. You'll learn: Why your body won’t switch off at night How functional freeze makes you look fine while you’re shutting down The body signs of stored stress: jaw, shoulders, gut, sleep, pain Why somatic healing can help when thinking harder doesn’t A one-minute reset you can try right now If your body has been begging you to listen, this episode is where we start. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

You’re the tiger pacing the cage… but the door has been open the whole time. If you want to know how to gain confidence for real — not perform it, fake it, or force it — this conversation will show you where to start. Because the truth is, you can look wildly successful and still feel trapped inside your own head. In this episode, I’m talking with Sara Anderson about why confidence doesn’t magically appear when you achieve enough — and why the higher you climb, the louder your self-doubt can get if you don’t address it from the inside out.  Because here’s the part nobody tells high achievers: You cannot think your way into confidence while your body is screaming danger. Real confidence is built from the inside out. Listen to learn: Why achievement can make your self-doubt worse, not better Why your mind goes blank when the stakes are high How your body betrays your confidence before you say a word Why affirmations don’t work when your nervous system is in panic mode How to stop freezing, spiraling, and over-explaining under pressure The 10-second grounding tool that helps bring your brain back online How to stop performing confidence and finally start trusting yourself Why the cage door is already open — and how to walk through it If you’re tired of pacing the same old cage, this episode is your open door. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠.

Feeling down when, at least on the surface, nothing is horrible? It’s easy to blame yourself, and think “what’s wrong with me that I can’t just be happy?”  Here’s a new idea. Maybe that feeling is not wrong at all.  Maybe it’s a signal from your emotional guidance system that it’s time to evolve.  The boredom. The restlessness. The exhaustion. The quiet little voice whispering, “I cannot keep doing this.” You can numb it.You can explain it away.You can call it anxiety, burnout, depression, hormones, laziness, or “just a rough patch.” But what if it’s none of that? What if the real problem is that your life doesn’t fit anymore?  In this episode, I’m talking about how to change your life when you feel stuck, especially when nothing is technically “wrong,” but everything inside you is screaming. Because that feeling you keep trying to get rid of? It may be the most important message you’ve gotten in years. Today, I’m going to help you stop ignoring it, stop shaming yourself for it, and start reading it for what it is: your emotional guidance system telling you it’s time for a new chapter. You'll learn: Why feeling miserable doesn’t always mean something has gone wrong How to tell the difference between a bad mood and a life that no longer fits Why boredom, dread, and restlessness can be signs of personal growth The journaling questions that reveal what you actually want Why insight alone won’t change your life How to find the clarity, courage, and allies you need to move forward You don’t have to blow up your life today. But you do need to stop betraying yourself by pretending you don’t hear the alarm. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

There is a silent mind game stealing your peace — and you’ve been trained to play it every day.  If you can’t stop comparing yourself to others, this episode may hit a nerve. That sick little feeling of “Why am I not enough?” It isn’t something another promotion, relationship, body, bank account, or achievement is going to fix. I’m sitting down with Harvard psychologist Dr. Ron Siegel to reveal the brutal truth: your brain is wired to rank you. And the comparison game is designed so you never actually win. This conversation will help you understand why success never satisfies for long, why self-esteem can become a trap, and how radical self-acceptance can finally get you off the emotional rollercoaster. You’ll learn: Why comparing yourself to others feels impossible to stop The ancient brain wiring behind “not good enough” Why every achievement high wears off so fast How social media and culture weaponize comparison Why “just build your self-esteem” can backfire The shift from impressing people to actually connecting How to begin feeling free without becoming someone else This is for anyone who’s tired of measuring their worth against everyone else’s highlight reel. You don’t have to win the comparison game to feel okay. You can step out of it — and come back to yourself. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

If you’ve ever said “I’m fine,” watched your partner believe you, and then felt even more hurt than before, this episode is for you. Because that tiny moment, the one where you want them to know you’re not okay without having to spell it out, is where so many couples quietly lose each other. In this episode, I’m talking with therapist and workplace wellbeing expert Nidhi Tewari about attunement, the relationship skill that helps people feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe. We’ll unpack why loving partners still miss each other’s cues, why fixing, reassuring, or changing the subject can accidentally make someone feel more alone, and how to become an “explorer,” someone who asks instead of assumes. You’ll learn how to emotionally connect with your partner in a way that actually lands: how to calm yourself before a hard conversation, what to say when your partner is hurting, how to ask for what you need out loud, and how to share what hurts without starting a fight. In this episode: 04:00: The skill that can quietly make every relationship better 09:44: Why emotional connection is something you can learn 21:55: Why you can’t connect until you calm yourself first 32:12: Fixer, Avoider, Connector, or Explorer: which one are you? 38:24: What to say so your partner finally feels seen 46:36: Why “I’m fine” backfires, and how to ask for what you need 52:45: How to tell your partner what hurts without starting a fight If you’ve been stuck in that lonely loop of hoping your partner will just know, then feeling disappointed when they don’t, this episode will help you do something different. The first skill that brings couples back together is one you can start practicing tonight. Press play, and let’s begin. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

Uncertainty can make you anxious, controlling, and completely exhausted, but staying steady is a skill you can build. Here’s the real reason you can’t seem to figure out how to deal with uncertainty: you’ve been taught that calm is a personality trait. Something you either have or you don’t. It’s not. The people who stay grounded when life blows up the plan didn’t win some genetic lottery. They’ve built a skill. And by the end of this episode, you’ll know how to start building it too. Today, I’m talking with executive coach Liz Tran about the agility quotient, the trainable intelligence that helps you stay steady when everything is changing. If the constant churn at work, in your relationships, and in the world has you anxious, overthinking, bracing, or trying to control every possible outcome, this conversation is for you. You’ll learn how to build mental toughness from the inside out, how to get out of your comfort zone on purpose, and how to start changing your life even when the future feels uncertain, without pretending you’ve got it all figured out. In this episode: 04:20: The skill no one taught you, but everyone needs now 08:09: The “third intelligence” that matters when plans fall apart 18:27: The one-question reframe that flips dread into fuel 19:24: Four quiet habits steady people rely on under pressure 29:24: Which “change type” are you? 52:16: Why Googling and doom-scrolling make uncertainty worse 53:11: The boat metaphor that can change your next bad day 1:04:27: What helps kids become resilient instead of brittle If you’re tired of living inside the spiral, needing control, asking “why is this happening to me,” and avoiding anything uncomfortable, I really want you to hear this one. Because uncertainty isn’t going away. But you can become someone who knows how to meet it. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

If your mind starts spinning the second your head hits the pillow, replaying the conversation you had at lunch and rehearsing the one you have to have tomorrow, I want to tell you something that genuinely surprised me. Sometimes the goal is not to get rid of your anxiety at all. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Chloe Carmichael, the clinical psychologist and USA Today bestselling author of Nervous Energy, who taught me to treat anxiety as a signal rather than a malfunction. Dr. Chloe and I work through how to tell the worry that is worth listening to from the kind that just loops, and then we go somewhere I did not expect, into why holding everything in might be quietly making your anxiety worse. In This Episode Why trying to get rid of your anxiety can backfire, and the single question to ask it instead The mind map exercise for the kind of worry you cannot quite put your finger on How to tell healthy fear from overthinking that just spins in circles The eight Diet Cokes story that changed how I check for anxiety, because the body comes first Why holding things in actually creates more anxiety instead of less The difference between self censorship and healthy self restraint, and a simple way to spot which one you are doing What to do when you finally speak up and it does not go well, including a tool Dr. Chloe calls the debrief date What the friendship between two famously opposite Supreme Court justices teaches us about staying close to people we disagree with This episode is for anyone who has ever laid awake at 2am with a brain that simply would not power down, then dragged through the next day exhausted and wired at the same time. It is also for you if you have ever smiled and nodded along with something you did not believe, and walked away feeling a little smaller for it. Anxiety and authenticity are far more connected than most of us realize. This conversation is about both, and about how getting a grip on one quietly helps you with the other. Episode Breakdown 00:00:00 Why You Shouldn't Try to Get Rid of Your Anxiety 00:08:21 From a Yoga Mat to a PhD: How Anxiety Became Her Life's Work 00:18:06 Healthy Fear or Overthinking? How to Tell the Difference 00:24:30 The Mind Map Exercise for a Racing Mind 00:27:21 The Eight-Diet-Cokes Client: When Anxiety Is Actually Physical 00:34:40 Why Holding It All In Actually Makes Anxiety Worse 00:39:04 Self-Censorship vs. Healthy Self-Restraint 00:49:36 How to Speak Up Without Blowing Up the Relationship 00:59:27 The Three Doors: A Simple Way to Decode Any Anxiety Resources The full episode and show notes Anxiety support, schedule a free consultation What’s Holding You Back? Quiz (free) Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

By the time an adult child finally says “I’m done,” they have usually been deciding it for about three years. The parent almost never sees it coming. The child was never once surprised. On the other side, the pain and anger that comes when someone you love with all your heart and soul refuses to talk to you? It's as crushing as it is confusing. This episode is for anyone who has ever sat in the car outside a parent’s house, bracing themselves before they walk in. And it is just as much for the parent staring at a phone that has gone quiet, replaying what they could have done differently. If your relationship with your parent, or with your grown kid, has started to feel like a careful performance instead of a real connection, you are not imagining it, and you are not stuck with it. If it feels like bridges have been burned, there is a way back. In this episode you'll learn about the small, respectful shifts that re-open lines of communication, rebuild trust, and develop an enduring v.2 for your relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Blindsided: Why Adult Children Pull Away 11:11 No One's to Blame, Everyone's Responsible 16:47 Why Adult Children Stop Being Honest With You 21:04 "Am I in Trouble?": When the Past Hijacks the Present 22:47 Raising From the Inside Out: The Foundation You Set Now 33:50 The Letter, the Agenda, and the Boundary 42:30 Grieving the Expectations You Handed Them 48:42 The PARENT Method, and the One Thing Bigger Than the Issues Resources: Full episode show notes and everything mentioned Book a free consultation with a therapist who specializes in this If this conversation stirred something up, that is worth paying attention to. You do not need to be in crisis to talk to someone. Come find us at GrowingSelf.com and schedule a free consultation. We will help you figure out what is actually going on between you and your parent, or you and your grown child, and what to try next. No pressure, no commitment, just a real conversation. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

Do you ever have reactions that don't quite make sense? Or feel like you're carrying feelings that don't fit the situation? Maybe you're sad, reactive, anxious or just... off... and can't put your finger on why. Turns out, generational trauma may be to blame. Things your parents, grandparents, or community went through might be impacting the way you think, feel and behave in the present. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Thomas Hübl, the teacher and trauma-integration facilitator who co-wrote the new book Releasing Our Burdens with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems. He's here to explain what's going on , and how to put down someone else's burden. This episode is for anyone who has ever looked at their own anxiety, or their drivenness, or that low hum of feeling empty for no reason they can name, and thought, where is this even coming from? If you have done the personal work and still feel like there is a layer underneath you cannot reach, this conversation opens a door. Some of what you carry is not a personal failing. It is inherited. And it can be set down. Episode Breakdown 00:00 Trauma That Didn't Start With You 10:42 Why You're Driven by People You Never Met 13:24 It's Bigger Than Any of Us (Which is Why We Must Do 18:52 A Case Study: Can You Relate? 31:41 How to Start Reclaiming Your Timeline 35:21 Stop Paying Someone Else's Bill 39:30 Generational Trauma In Relationships 53:31 How to Clean Up That Mess and Move Forward into Freedom Resources Full episode page with a rundown, transcript, and resources Free “What’s Holding You Back?” Quiz Personal growth coaching and therapy at Growing Self xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

This episode is for anyone who has technically gotten through something hard and quietly cannot understand why they still does not feel like themselves. I sat down with Amy Kurtz, author of "But You Look Fine" to unpack what's going on. The reality? Even if you're on the mend physically after a medical trauma, chronic illness, or profoundly life altering experience there is mental and emotional repair work to do. This can often only even start to happen once your physical symptoms have resolved, and you're on the other side. If you have been told you should be fine by now, and you are not, this conversation is going to give you language for what is actually happening in your body and a way forward that respects the timeline. What You'll Learn: 00:02:04 The Gap Between Sick and Well Nobody Warned You About 00:05:10 36 Doctors and No Diagnosis: Amy's Story 00:13:25 What Is Medical Trauma Brain? 00:14:54 How to Heal Emotionally, After You're Healed Physically 00:21:05 How to Advocate for Yourself in a System That Won't 00:45:03 How to Regulate Your Nervous System After Trauma or Illness 00:51:01 The Wider Lens: When Someone You Love is Not Okay 00:56:00 The One Tool That Changes Everything Resources: Read the full article on this conversation, including everything we mentioned and where to find Amy's work Ready to talk to someone about what you are carrying? Book a free consultation If this speaks to you, I'm so glad you've found it today. If this conversation makes you think of someone in your life who is not okay, or recovering in the aftermath of chronic illness, thanks for passing it on. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

If you've been grappling with that "what am I doing with my life?!?" angst, and craving clarity about your next best step forward today's episode is for you. I'm sitting down with an expert career coach to pose all the question that are probably keeping you up at night, to bring you answers and direction. Here's what you'll learn about today: 00:00 Getting Unstuck When You Have Too Many Options 05:12 Career Crossroads: How to Navigate Paralysis and Indecision 11:08 Life Design vs. Job Search: Shifting How We Think About Career 18:39 Finding Your Passion by Reflecting on the Past 27:26 The “Quarter-Life” Crossroads: Making Sense of How You Got Here 30:12 Burnout or Misalignment? How to Tell the Difference 34:45 The 10-Year Vision Exercise That Brings Long-Term Clarity 36:44 Why Big Career Decisions Shouldn’t Happen During Burnout Resources Companion article on the blog (full resource list, references, and related episodes) Free What’s Holding You Back quiz — the 20-question self-assessment that helps you see what is actually keeping you stuck Career Coaching Services at Growing Self — work one-on-one with a career coach on my team Schedule a free consultation⁠ If something in this conversation landed somewhere specific, that is the signal to talk to someone. The career coaches on my team at Growing Self spend their days with people exactly where you are, and the first conversation is free. Not a sales pitch, just a real conversation about what is actually going on and whether the work we do here is the right fit for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

You want to be a more positive person. We all do. But by the end of the gratitude journal, the mindfulness, the affirmation in the mirror, you felt worse, not better. You might feel like you're "failing at positivity..." but authentic hope, optimism and resilience might be different than you've been taught to believe. That's the disconnect. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Deepika Chopra, the clinical health psychologist known as The Optimism Doctor and the author of the new book The Power of Real Optimism. Deepika has spent over a decade studying why optimism is a skill, not a personality trait, and her work has appeared everywhere from the TODAY Show to Forbes to Vogue. She joined me to explain why forced positivity actually makes anxiety worse, and what real, durable optimism looks like when you stop performing it and start practicing it. In this conversation, you'll learn: Why an optimist isn't someone who feels good all the time, and what they're actually doing differently in their head The reasons so much standard advice for how to improve your outlook backfires, and what to try instead. The one mental shift that moves you from rumination to agency when nothing about your circumstances has changed. This episode is for anyone who has tried to think their way into feeling better and quietly felt like a fraud doing it. If you've ever closed a self-help book and felt worse, if you've ever heard someone say 'good vibes only' and wanted to throw something, if you're currently navigating something genuinely hard and tired of being told to look on the bright side, this conversation will give you something more honest, and more useful. If something in this conversation landed for you, share it with one person. You probably already have someone in mind, the friend who's been white-knuckling their way through something hard. Send it to them. And follow the show wherever you listen so you don't miss what's coming next. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

A year. Two years. Five years. Ten years. Still stuck on the same person. If that is you, this episode is not going to tell you to give it more time. In this episode, I sit down with my colleague Jesse S., a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified coach who co-facilitates our Heartbreak Recovery Intensive with me here at Growing Self. Between us, we have watched a lot of people walk in still tangled up in a relationship that ended months or years ago, and walk out free of it. Jesse joined me to talk about what we have seen actually work, including the one reframe that unlocks years of stuckness for almost every person we meet. In this episode: The factory accident sign that explains why you have been resetting your healing clock for years without realizing it Why a breakup mimics the symptoms of PTSD, and what is actually happening in your nervous system The exact reason your thinking brain and your attachment brain disagree about whether to text your ex back Why heartbreak recovery groups move people faster than years of one-on-one therapy The closure myth that keeps people waiting for an apology from someone unable to give it The airplane metaphor that finally lets you accept the good parts of a relationship that had to end Why most therapists are not trained in heartbreak recovery, and what to look for instead The reclaim-the-song, reclaim-the-room experiment that does more than years of talking about feelings Why this matters This episode is for anyone who has been stuck on a past relationship long enough to be embarrassed about it. The person you cannot stop checking in on. The relationship that ended a long time ago but somehow still has a vote in your life. The voice in your head that keeps telling you that you should be over this by now. We see you, and we have seen this. There is a way through, even if it has been years. Resources Full episode article and show notes How Over Your Ex Are You? Quiz Heartbreak Recovery program at Growing Self Online breakup support group I know that going through heartbreak can make you feel like you're so alone. I hope that by listening to this conversation today you felt like other people get what you're going through, and that you have more clarity on how to find your way forward. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. If you want to know exactly where you are in the process before you talk to anyone, the How Over Your Ex Are You? quiz at growingself.com/breakup-quiz-how-over-your-ex-are-you takes about two minutes and tells you the truth. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

Have you ever felt like every tab in your brain is open, and not one of them will close? That was Sam Yo at 23, the year before he walked away from a successful London stage career to spend years in a Thai Buddhist monastery. In this episode, I sit down with him to get his advice on how to transcend frazzled-overwhelm and reconnect with your inner calm. By the end of this episode you'll get not just a new perspective and insight into what's *really* going on that's getting you so wound up. But more importantly you'll get concrete skills that you can start using today. (Sam walks us all through a powerful one and I can personally share that I felt 100% calmer by the time we were done!) If something in this episode landed for you, pass it on! Send it to the person you were thinking about while you listened, and share the love. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

This week we're doing a deep dive into the science of the brain, to help you get a handle on yours. Today's episode is all about "rumination." Grinding on the same thought, over and over again. We all do it: Replay conversations that ended three days ago, laying awake at night trying to solve unsolvable problems in your head... you know. In this episode, I sit down with Donna Jackson Nakazawa, the science journalist who has spent decades researching exactly this and is here with answers that are going to change things for you. Get ready to take notes:Donna and I get into the survival biology behind your overthinking, the unexpected link between early relationships and adult thought patterns, and her real-time interruption tool. She walks me through it live, with my own ruminative mind as the example. It got pretty real. Listen, work through the steps with me in real time, and then let me know what it was like for you! Here is what I want you to take away from this conversation: your brain getting stuck in a loop is not a character flaw. It is a real neural pattern with real roots, and it is genuinely changeable. I hope this episode is the start of that change for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby ⁠Growing Self ⁠ Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — Access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ⁠ProlonLife.com/LHS⁠ for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

Are you having daily power struggles with your kids over their screen time consumption? Are you having a daily war in yourself, between the part of you that worries that your kid is online too much... and the other that is glad they're occupied? There's so much conflict for parents of young kids around this exact issue, and so much drama, I decided to call in the big guns: Rob LoCassio, who's been in this space since it started to get his insights on the reality, the research, and some new ideas to manage this with love and skill. What You'll Learn In This Episode The exact moment a tech founder realized he was losing his own kids to the screens he built, and why it changed everything for him Why senior YouTube executives quietly don’t let their own kids use YouTube, and what they know that you don’t The reframe that turns the daily iPad battle from a parenting failure into a systems problem Why your kid asks for the iPad when she’s upset, and what is actually happening in her nervous system in that moment The 25-million-person creator economy your kid is being fed by, and why "just set limits" stopped working in 2020 What healthier tech for kids could actually look like, and what to ask before you hand any device to a four-year-old If you know another parent who has been crying in the bathroom over the iPad fight (and you probably have someone in mind right now), please share this episode with them. They will feel less alone, and that matters more than you know. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Are you in a codependent relationship? If so you're probably feeling anxious, frustrated, and exhausted from trying to create positive change in your relationship single-handedly. (Or feeling like you're never quite good enough to meet the standards of your partner). Not fun for anyone! On today's episode, we're taking a deep dive into codependent relationships. Listen, and learn: - What codependent relationships are - Why they happen - The stages of codependency recovery - How you can get un-fused from each other so that you can both grow and flourish. ⁠How to stop being codependent:⁠ All for you! xoxo,  ⁠ Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ ⁠GrowingSelf.com Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

“We talk all the time, but I still feel alone in my marriage.” If that sentence has ever crossed your mind on a Tuesday night, mid-load of dishes, with your partner three feet away, you are not imagining it. And you are not the only one. In this episode, I sit down with Debra Fileta, the licensed therapist who has spent more than twenty years in clinical practice helping couples figure out exactly this. In This Episode The three levels of communication, and why almost every couple stalls at level two without realizing it Why “we talk all the time” is not the same thing as feeling close, even after twenty years of marriage The thirty-minute weekly ritual Debra and her husband John have used for fifteen years to keep their marriage from drifting Why being “nice” is not the same as having strong people skills, and the people-pleasing trap that masquerades as kindness How to tell the difference between a one-time conflict and a relationship pattern that is pointing at something deeper The volume-dial reframe for couples where one partner feels everything at a 7 and the other at a 3 The empathy practice that takes thirty seconds and changes the way you see almost everyone in your life Why “I keep attracting the wrong people” is the wrong question, and the better one Debra asks instead Why This Matters This episode is for anyone who has caught themselves thinking, something has shifted between us and I cannot put my finger on what. For the partner who feels like they are always the one initiating real conversation. For the couple who used to talk for hours and now mostly talks about logistics. For anyone who has wondered if needing more depth in their marriage is asking too much. It is not. And the way back is more learnable than you might think. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

You feel disrespected. Overlooked. Like no matter what you do, you can't get what you want. So you've tried getting tougher. You've tried getting nicer. And neither one works — for a reason. that changes today. By the end of this episode, you're going to know how to get what you want, even when the odds are against you. Today I'm talking with negotiation expert Attia Qureshi — a literal hostage negotiator who got dropped into cartel-controlled villages in Colombia and had to win over people who'd already decided they didn't trust her. If she can turn a room full of cartel-controlled farmers into her allies in a single day, you can handle the boss who overlooks you, the partner who shuts down, the in-law who pushes every button you've got. This is the conversation that changes how you walk into a room. She's going to teach you how. Today: You'll learn how to stop freezing when you feel powerless, get dead clear on what you actually want, and shift even your most hostile relationships with one small move almost nobody uses on purpose. In This Conversation: 02:50 — The type of betrayal that hightlights how power really works 14:00 — How to get what you want when the deck is stacked against you 16:00 — Walking into a hostile room — how to take your power back 28:40 — Why you freeze when you're disrespected, and how to immediately calm down 32:00 — The "I'm about to quit" mistake smart, talented people keep making (and how to stop!) 35:30 — How to stop seeing someone as the villain and finally get through 37:30 — The lemonade move: one gesture that resets your worst relationship 55:30 — Influence vs. manipulation: how to know you're doing it right Here's the truth: you don't have to choose between being walked over and being the bad guy. There's a third path, and it's a skill — which means you can learn it. And keep going with Attia's book Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want. If you're ready to feel respected and get what you want in your relationships and your career, let's do it. Start at growingself.com, by booking a free consultation. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

Scientists gave people Tylenol before a social rejection. It worked. Your nervous system treats being left out the same way it treats a broken bone. That is why telling yourself to just get over it has never, ever worked. And it is why this conversation with negotiation expert Kwame Christian is going to change how you see your own fear of conflict. If you’re non confrontational by nature, or you’ve spent years being a people pleaser to keep things smooth, what Kwame explains in this episode is going to feel like the first time someone has accurately described what is actually happening inside you. The fear is not weakness. It is biology. And there is a way through it. In this episode, I sit down with Kwame Christian, CEO of the American Negotiation Institute and host of Negotiate Anything. His framework, Compassionate Curiosity, is built entirely on empathy, genuine curiosity, and a clear sense of what you actually value. We did a live roleplay about household labor and invisible work, and I want to be honest with you: I felt the shift in real time. The resistance just left. That is what this approach does. In This Episode The neuroscience behind conflict avoidance, including why social rejection activates the same neural pathways as physical pain Kwame’s origin story as a people pleaser and exactly how he treated his fear of conflict like a phobia to overcome it The difference between being liked and being respected, and why only one of them gets you where you want to go A complete reframe of what negotiation actually is, and why the goal is never to win but to discover what is possible The Compassionate Curiosity framework step by step, including the pre-conversation internal work that makes you harder to rattle The Situation/Impact/Invitation opener that dissolves defensiveness before the hard conversation even begins A live roleplay on the invisible work conversation with a real-time demonstration of the shift that happens when you stop fighting What confidence in conflict actually looks like when it is not swagger Why This Matters This episode is for anyone who has ever bitten their tongue in a conversation that needed to happen. For anyone who has let something slide one too many times and felt a piece of themselves go with it. And for anyone who suspects that the life they want is on the other side of a conversation they have been too afraid to have. The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations. This episode will help you get there. Episode Breakdown 03:01 Why Difficult Conversations Feel Like a Threat (Not a Choice) 05:56 Kwame’s Origin Story — From People Pleaser to Negotiation Expert 10:16 The Difference Between Being Liked and Being Respected 16:36 Every Difficult Conversation Is a Relationship Test 26:01 How to Stop Caring If People Are Mad at You 39:21 Negotiation Isn’t What You Think It Is 51:37 The Compassionate Curiosity Framework — Live Roleplay 01:06:02 What It Actually Means to Be Confident in Conflict Resources Full article: https://www.growingself.com/how-to-have-difficult-conversations/ Free Communication Training (2-part video + workbook): https://www.growingself.com/communication/ Relationship coaching at Growing Self: https://www.growingself.com/relationship-coaching/ If today’s conversation stirred something in you, you do not have to work through it alone. My team of coaches and therapists at Growing Self is here. A free consultation, no pressure, just a real conversation about where you are and what might help. Come find us at growingself.com. And if you know someone who avoids conflict to keep the peace, please share this one. I bet you already have someone in mind. With love, xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at ⁠upwork.com⁠ — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit ⁠shopify.com/lhs⁠ to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at ⁠oseamalibu.com⁠ for 10% off your first order Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ⁠ProlonLife.com/LHS⁠ for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.

Burnout and stress don’t just drain energy, they drain connection. If you’re in burnout, it can spike stress & anxiety and create real conflict & repair work at home. And here’s the part most people miss: sometimes burnout isn’t solved by “pushing harder” or even taking a break. Sometimes it’s about play. Not childish, silly, or irresponsible play. But a playful mindset—curiosity, experimentation, levity—that changes how you experience your real life, in real time. In this conversation, I’m joined by Piera Gelardi to talk about burnout recovery through a lens most people never consider. Piera is a creative entrepreneur, artist, and the co-founder of Refinery29 and 29Rooms, and her work is all about helping people reconnect with joy, creativity, and aliveness. Together, we explore what happens when life gets so serious, so scheduled, and so responsibility-heavy that you lose touch with the parts of yourself that feel light, open, and fully alive. We talk about “play deprivation,” the difference between having fun and living playfully, and why recovery from burnout often has less to do with escaping your life and more to do with changing your relationship to it. You’ll hear why humor as a coping mechanism can be surprisingly healing, how playful curiosity can shift conflict, and why the quiet boredom in relationship can sometimes be a sign that something important has gone missing. This is a warm, honest conversation about stress, connection, resilience, and what helps people feel like themselves again. We also get practical. Piera shares simple ways to bring more play into ordinary life, from finding the funny in hard moments to remixing daily routines, noticing beauty, and experimenting with small changes that make life feel less heavy. As you listen, I’d love for you to consider: What has gotten so serious lately? Where have you made joy conditional? And what might change if play was not something you earned after everything else was done, but part of how you cared for yourself all along? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Play Matters for Adults 09:08 What Play Deprivation Really Looks Like 21:21 The Different Ways Adults Experience Play 30:11 How Humor Can Help You Cope 39:13 Wonder Wandering and Everyday Joy 41:16 Playfulness in Relationships 44:46 Why Play Is Fuel, Not Frivolous If you’re noticing that stress has taken over your mood, your relationships, or your ability to enjoy your own life, this might be a good time to get support. You can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team, and we’ll talk about what’s been feeling hard, what you want to change, and what kind of support would actually help. We’ll help you find the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more connected, and more like yourself again. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Upwork — and it’s a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order