Love and Leadership – Details, episodes & analysis

Kristen and Mike tackle one of the most pressing questions facing leaders right now: can AI actually replace you? The short answer is no. But the longer answer is more interesting and more useful. Kristen breaks down exactly where AI can make leaders sharper and more efficient, and where human leadership is still irreplaceable. If you've been wondering how to position yourself in the age of AI, this episode will give you a clear, practical framework.

Highlights

• Leaders whose authority is built on being the person with all the answers are most at risk as AI gets better and better at information.
• Kristen outlines five areas where AI genuinely helps leaders: information processing, pattern recognition, drafting, routine decisions, and generating options.
• AI is a powerful tool for breaking out of binary thinking and generating that critical third option.
• Judgment, emotional presence, meaning-making, accountability, and relationship repair are five things AI cannot replace in a leader.
• Mike shares how he used ChatGPT to analyze a tough strategic decision through multiple lenses, and why it still could not replace his own judgment.
• Leaders who are not using AI are already falling behind, even in people-first industries like hospitality and senior living.

Links & Resources

• Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Why do some incredibly successful people feel like failures? In this episode, Kristen and Mike break down The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy - a book Mike has read five times because it fundamentally changed how he measures success. They explore why so many high achievers are miserable despite their accomplishments, and introduce a simple mental shift that can transform how you experience progress in both your career and life. Through personal stories about new parenthood, aging parents, and their own leadership journeys, they show how measuring backward (from where you've come) instead of forward (toward an ever-moving horizon) creates genuine happiness and confidence. If you've ever felt like you're never doing enough, this conversation will help you see your wins differently.

Highlights:

• The core idea: living in "the gap" (measuring yourself against an ideal) versus "the gain" (measuring yourself against where you started)
• The three daily wins practice and how it transforms your mindset, especially on the hardest days
• Why you should measure your progress backward from where you've been rather than forward toward an ever-moving horizon
• The experience transformer journaling technique for reframing difficult situations
• How to define success on your own terms instead of letting external benchmarks determine your worth
• Why satisfaction is fleeting when you achieve goals if you're always focused on the next milestone
• An honest critique of the book's oversimplified approach to trauma
• Life-changing takeaways: measuring from where you've come creates genuine happiness, and the daily wins practice has powerful impact

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Who Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal
• Relentless by Tim Grover 
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

We originally aired this episode in October prior to the election, and are sharing it again today because we find it more relevant than ever! 

Leaders today face a unique challenge: supporting their teams' mental wellness during a very high-stress period. In this episode, Kristen and Mike explore this timely topic with licensed therapist Megan Romano. They discuss how leaders can navigate the emotional minefield of turbulent political times, from recognizing their own triggers to creating a psychologically safe environment for their teams. Megan shares practical techniques for emotional regulation and emphasizes the importance of leaders modeling vulnerability and self-care. This episode offers invaluable insights on how to lead with empathy and resilience during turbulent times.

About Megan:

Megan Romano (M.S., LMFT) is a New York-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in trauma therapy. With extensive experience in inpatient rehabilitation and online therapy, she has treated clients globally and trained therapists in various settings. She is certified in treating disruptive behavioral disorders, crisis intervention, and trauma-focused cognitive behavioral disorders. She provides therapy for individuals, families, and couples, addressing a wide range of challenges. She has received "The Best of Brooklyn Award for Counseling and Mental Health" for nine consecutive years. She is also the founder of Human Nation™, a mental health resource, and the inventor of a patent-pending trauma intervention that is 100% effective and substance-free.

Highlights:

• The importance of leaders recognizing and regulating their own emotions before addressing their team's concerns.
• Techniques for emotional regulation, including breathing exercises and identifying physical signs of stress.
• The value of taking timeouts during tense meetings to allow for emotional processing.
• The role of vulnerability in leadership and how it can foster trust and psychological safety.
• The concept of "tend and befriend" as a positive stress response in the workplace.
• The importance of authentic check-ins with employees and listening to learn rather than to respond.
• Tips for finding the right therapist and normalizing mental health care in the workplace.
• The benefits of proactive therapy for leaders, even without a specific crisis or diagnosis.

Links and Resources Mentioned:

• Human Nation™ website
• Megan Romano Therapy
• Megan’s LinkedIn profile
• Psychology Today 
• Zocdoc
• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
• American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike dive into Dale Carnegie's classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People" - a book that's approaching its 90th anniversary yet remains powerfully relevant. Mike reveals he's read (or rather, listened to) the book nearly 10 times, often before starting new jobs to ground himself in core leadership principles. The couple explores why this 1936 bestseller has sold over 30 million copies and continues to influence modern leadership thinking. Unlike most leadership books, Carnegie's approach focuses on genuine human connection rather than strategy or tactics. As you listen, you'll discover timeless principles that can transform not just your leadership approach, but all your relationships through small yet powerful changes in how you interact with others.

Highlights:

• Carnegie's core message: Leadership is about making people want to do things, not forcing them
• Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain - criticism puts people on defensive
• Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation - not flattery
• Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want - talk about what they want
• The book emphasizes remembering names as "the sweetest sound" to any person
• Good listening is highlighted as more important than talking for effective communication
• "The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it" - a principle both hosts struggle with
• Mike shares examples of seeing these principles successfully applied in hospitality leadership
• Carnegie's focus on understanding others' perspectives aligns with the improv principles Kristen teaches

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie 
• Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss 
• Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin 
• It's Your Ship by Michael Abrashoff 
• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier 
• How to Say It for Women by Phyllis Mindell 
• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara 

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike get into the fascinating world of workplace buzzwords that are trending in 2025. From "anti-perks" to "coffee badging," these terms reveal a lot about our current work culture and employee-employer relationships. The couple unpacks these buzzwords with their characteristic humor and practical insight, examining what each trend reveals about the evolving workplace. Whether you're dealing with "quiet hiring" at your organization or considering a "lazy girl job" for better work-life balance, this episode offers a revealing look at the language shaping our professional lives and what it means for leaders at all levels.

Highlights:

• "Anti-perks": Workplace policies framed as benefits that actually negatively impact employees
• "Bare minimum Mondays": Employees intentionally reducing workload on Mondays to combat burnout
• "Coffee badging": Briefly appearing at the office to satisfy return-to-office mandates before heading home
• "Conscious quitting": Employees leaving companies whose values don't align with their personal ethics
• "Quittok": The trend of posting or livestreaming resignations on TikTok
• "Employee Experience (EX)": The physical, digital, and cultural elements affecting how employees feel about work
• "Ghost jobs": Fake job listings companies post without actually intending to hire
• "Industry hopping": Professionals moving between different sectors throughout their careers
• "Job cuffing": Increasing engagement during uncertain times to avoid layoffs
• "Lazy girl jobs": Roles prioritizing work-life balance over career advancement

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• AIHR Article: 27 Trending HR Buzzwords You Need to Know
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• "Take This Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike sit down with Andrea Fleischfresser, an executive coach with over 20 years of experience in HR and coaching. Andrea shares her journey from working in Italy to building her coaching practice in the US, where she discovered that cultural backgrounds significantly influence leadership styles and workplace dynamics. Through her work with clients from diverse cultures, Andrea has observed how deeply ingrained cultural norms affect everything from communication styles to feedback delivery and meeting participation. She explains why some leaders struggle when relocating to different countries - not because they lack skills, but because leadership expectations vary dramatically across cultures. Whether you're managing a global team or working with colleagues from different backgrounds, this conversation offers practical insights to help navigate cultural differences and become a more effective leader.

Highlights:

• Andrea's international experience in Italy shaped her understanding of cross-cultural leadership challenges
• Cultural backgrounds influence workplace behaviors even for second or third-generation immigrants
• American workplace culture values individualism and task orientation, while other cultures prioritize relationships and collective decision-making
• Americans use "low context" communication (direct), while many Asian, South American and Southern European cultures use "high context" communication (indirect)
• What looks like disengagement to an American might be respectful listening in another culture
• Historical contexts (agrarian vs. hunter-gatherer societies) may have influenced Eastern and Western cultural values
• In relationship-based cultures, trust comes from personal connection; in American culture, trust is built on reliability
• Feedback styles vary widely - some cultures are very direct, while Americans often use the "sandwich" approach
• Leaders should ask team members "How can I best support you?" rather than applying one-size-fits-all approaches
• Understanding your own cultural biases is essential for effective cross-cultural leadership

About Andrea:

Andrea Fleischfresser, MCC is an Executive & Leadership Coach and Corporate Facilitator with 20 years of experience in HR and Coaching. She specializes in helping leaders maximize their strengths, improve team performance, and achieve goals through increased trust, cohesion, and collaboration. With over two decades of international experience, Andrea offers a unique perspective on effective global leadership, shaped by her deep understanding of diverse cultural landscapes. She is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) recognized by the International Coaching Federation.

Connect with Andrea:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreafleischfresser
• Website: https://www.destinationyoucoaching.com

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Is your team more afraid of sharing a bad idea or missing out on a great one? In this episode, Mike and Kristen dig into what truly makes a culture innovative - and it's probably not what you think. Most companies claim to value innovation, but few actually design their culture to support it. Through a framework Kristen calls the "Improvation Matrix," they explore how openness to new ideas and commitment to execution create the foundation for genuine innovation. Plus, Mike takes a delightful detour through the Museum of Failure (featuring gems like Colgate Lasagna and Limeade Oreos) to illustrate why embracing failure might be the most important element in fostering creativity. Whether your team is stuck in stagnation, drowning in noise, or trapped in rigid thinking, this episode offers practical strategies to shift your culture toward true innovation.

Highlights:

• Kristen introduces the Improvation Matrix with two axes: openness to new ideas and level of commitment
• Teams can exist in four states: Stagnation, Noise, Rigidity, or Innovation depending on their culture
• The "Yes, And" mindset from improv fosters divergent thinking and gives creative ideas room to breathe
• The Museum of Failure showcases products like New Coke and Colgate Lasagna as examples of how even successful companies fail
• Three levels of listening: listening to respond, listening to hear, and listening to understand
• The Golden State Warriors' "Strength in Numbers" philosophy demonstrates how supporting teammates leads to success
• Incorporating play at work reduces stress, improves cognitive function, and enhances creativity

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Museum of Failure 
• Episode #7: 10 Ways Improv Makes You a Better Leader

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In the second part of their deep dive into Will Guidara's Unreasonable Hospitality, Mike and Kristen explore the leadership lessons that transformed Eleven Madison Park into the world's best restaurant. From breaking traditional fine dining rules to creating moments of surprise and delight for guests, Guidara's approach proves that true hospitality extends beyond simply serving excellent food. His philosophy challenges leaders to build strong teams, empower staff through trust, and create authentic connections with those they serve. Whether you lead a team of two or two hundred, this episode reveals how small, thoughtful gestures—what Guidara calls "grace notes"—can turn ordinary service into extraordinary experiences that leave lasting impressions.

Highlights: 

• Breaking traditions: Prioritizing authentic guest connections over rigid fine dining rules
• Hiring for the "why": Finding people who genuinely care about hospitality over experience
• Team choreography: Using subtle hand signals for seamless service coordination
• The Miles Davis approach: Identifying 11 guiding principles after a critic's feedback
• The "important to me" card: Building partnership through respecting what matters deeply to others
• Empowering staff: Giving team members control of specialized programs before they're fully ready
• The Dreamweaver role: Creating a position dedicated to personalizing guest experiences
• Grace notes: Small gestures that create lasting impressions, like plating a NYC hot dog for tourists
• Balancing excellence and warmth: Finding harmony between perfect service and authenticity
• Scaling culture: Maintaining core values while growing and trusting others to lead

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara
• Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
• Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell
• Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In this first part of a two-part series, Mike and Kristen dive into Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. While it might not seem like a traditional leadership book at first glance, it's packed with lessons for anyone serving customers or managing teams. Mike brings a unique perspective to this discussion, having spent 17 years in the restaurant industry before transitioning to senior living. He shares personal insights about the intense world of restaurants, where excellence isn't just encouraged—it's demanded every single day. The conversation weaves through Guidara's journey from young food runner to co-owner of one of the world's most celebrated restaurants, revealing how exceptional service can transform not just businesses, but the lives of everyone they touch.

Highlights:

• Service vs. hospitality: service is the technical side while hospitality is about making people feel cared for
• "Enlightened Hospitality" prioritizes employees over guests and investors
• "Grace notes" are small unexpected gestures that elevate the hospitality experience
• Language creates culture through phrases like "constant gentle pressure" and "be the swan"
• The "Rule of 95/5": manage 95% of budget responsibly to allow 5% for "foolish spending" that enhances experiences
• Will's 30-minute daily meetings transformed restaurant culture by creating consistency and celebrating wins
• Leaders should give more praise than criticism and address issues immediately
• Different approaches are needed for employees who are trying versus those who aren't
• Hospitality applies beyond restaurants—three-quarters of GDP comes from service industries

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara
• Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
• Jiro Dreams of Sushi (film)
• The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson 
• The Bear (TV show)

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike talk with Shelli Brunswick, a leader in the space industry whose career spans from the US Air Force to her current role as CEO of SB Global LLC. Shelli shares how space technology impacts our everyday lives in ways we don't even realize—from the smartphone in your pocket to the blueberries in your breakfast. She explains how leadership lessons from the space industry, particularly around risk management and innovation, can help professionals in any field. If you've ever wondered what space exploration has to do with your career or how space technology affects your daily life, this conversation will open your eyes to connections you never imagined. As Shelli puts it, "The sky is not the limit. There are no limits."

About Shelli:

Shelli Brunswick, a distinguished leader in the global space ecosystem, is renowned for her advocacy for space technology and innovation. A former U.S. Air Force Officer and Chief Operating Officer of Space Foundation, she is now the CEO & Founder of SB Global LLC. Shelli bridges the space community and the broader public, fostering collaborations that drive the industry forward. As a prolific keynote speaker and author, she engages audiences on leadership, career success, and the practical applications of space technologies. A futurist, she works with global think tanks and contributes to initiatives shaping the future space paradigm. Her support for underrepresented groups has earned her recognition, including as one of the Top 100 Women of the Future in Emerging Technology and recipient of two Lifetime Achievement Awards.

Highlights:

• Shelli's four-chapter career: from Air Force enlistee to space acquisition officer, Space Foundation COO, and now CEO bridging space technology with the public.
• The space industry's evolution from the Apollo era
• How space technology affects daily life
• Shelli's book combines personal reflections with practical advice for professional development.
• The space industry teaches leadership through risk management
• Space innovations solve real problems, like using the ISS to 3D print lens replacements for macular degeneration.
• Shelli's leadership philosophy: inspiration, authenticity, and gratitude.
• Space careers exist for people of all backgrounds—not just engineers and scientists.
• Advice for emerging leaders: "The sky is not the limit. There are no limits."

Learn More About Shelli:

• Book: What's Space Got To Do With It?: 10 Life Lessons For Personal Growth
• Personal Website
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Twitter

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com