Staying present isn’t easy when your nervous system is already overloaded. It's easier to dissociate.

In this episode, Faustina talks about what “being present” actually means for trauma survivors and neurodivergent single parents, why overwhelm shuts down connection, and how to stay grounded with an autistic child even when your body or your mind want to escape. Practical, realistic tools for single moms — no perfection required.

I do want to give credit to a major player in the ASD space, Orion Kelly, That Autistic Guy, who talks about parallel play.

Keywords: autism parenting, overstimulated parent, overwhelmed mom, trauma informed parenting, sensory overload parenting, parenting with PTSD, staying present with child, single parent, neurodivergent parent, autistic parent, PDA autism parenting, nervous system dysregulation

Breaking generational trauma for future generations is hard — especially when you’re parenting a neurodivergent child without a roadmap. It's little things you have to notice, to catch, and to do differently - one day at a time.

In this episode, we talk about how childhood trauma shows up in your parenting, why your nervous system reacts before your thoughts do, and how small, imperfect moments of awareness can break the cycle. Generational trauma doesn't have to be passed down to your bloodline, you can stop the cycle. This is for single moms recovering from abuse, healing, and trying to parent differently than what they lived.

Pro tip: going to therapy is always a good idea!

If you liked this episode, you’ll also enjoy Episode 9: The Court Date You Can’t Stop Thinking About.

• breaking generational trauma

• parenting after trauma

• trauma-informed parenting

• cycle breaking parents

• parenting a neurodivergent child

• parenting autistic child

• autism parenting support

• PDA autism parenting

• healing from abuse

• moms recovering from trauma

• overwhelmed moms

• trauma triggers in parenting

• nervous system dysregulation

• gentle parenting after trauma

• attachment repair

• reparenting yourself

• parent burnout recovery

• high conflict co-parenting support

• healing childhood wounds

• trauma response in motherhood

• how to parent differently after trauma

• why parenting feels hard after abuse

• how to break generational trauma cycles

• regulating yourself while parenting

• support for moms raising autistic kids

• trauma responses during meltdowns

• parenting when overstimulated

• surviving high conflict parenting

Detachment isn’t easy when your body is still in survival mode.

In this reflection, Faustina talks about what it’s really like to learn emotional detachment after trauma — when PTSD and panic make “staying calm” feel impossible amongst the craziness. Through her experience with EMDR and nervous system healing, she shares how true detachment isn’t about going numb, but about helping your body believe it’s finally safe.

For single mothers navigating co-parenting, high-conflict relationships, or life after emotional abuse patterns, this episode offers gentle, practical reminders that peace is something you grow into, but cannot force.

Keywords: trauma recovery, PTSD, EMDR, parenting after abuse, nervous system healing, emotional regulation, co-parenting, detachment, healing journey, single mother

How do you keep the faith when everything falls apart? How do you keep believing in a good God, when that God allowed all this to happen?

When logic fails and the path disappears, faith becomes the thread that holds us together. In this episode of Light in the Battle, Faustina reflects on trusting God when nothing makes sense—learning to surrender control, find calm in motherhood, and believe that God’s presence is constant even in pain.

A gentle reminder for Catholic mothers walking through uncertainty, raising children after trauma, and rebuilding peace through prayer.

Keywords: faith, trust in God, Christian parenting, healing after trauma, motherhood, peace, surrender, resilience, spiritual growth, trust in Jesus, listening to God's voice

Life can feel like a battle—especially for single mothers navigating co-parenting, trauma, or spiritual warfare. In this first reflection from Light in the Battle, Faustina shares gentle words on finding peace, faith, and emotional resilience when chaos surrounds you.

A quiet Christian meditation for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, solo parenting through hard seasons, and learning to let God fight for them.

Keywords: faith, Christian motherhood, narcissistic abuse recovery, peace in chaos, co-parenting, healing, trauma, God’s presence

Welcome to Light in the Battle, one of the rare AI-free resources available.

I'm Faustina, I'm an autistic single mom with a PDA child on the spectrum, I'm healing from narcissistic abuse patterns, I'm winning in court and I'm doing it all without a safety net.

I'm here to talk about my lived-experience, and to share battle-tested approaches to finding Light in the Battle despite the ASD, the difficult coparenting, the legal costs and the crushing weight of it all.

If you're anything like me, your reality's not going to change. How to find peace in the chaos? How do you adjust to an autism diagnosis? How do you learn to coparent in high-conflict dynamics? You *choose* to find Peace and Joy in the midst of chaos. I hope my reflections help you get there, one day at a time.

Light in the Battle is a Catholic space where we learn how to win in family court, how to soothe the nervous system, how to recover from PSTD, how to parent a neurodivergent child all the while honoring your own autism as a single mom.

How do you handle a meltdown when you're overstimulated already? How do you help your child calm down when you’re not calm yourself?

In this episode, Faustina shares small, realistic ways to co-regulate while healing — grounding tips for overstimulation, honest scripts for connection, and a reminder that repair matters more than perfection. This can be particularly difficult for autistic single mothers as there is no other adult to fall back on when we are not regulated.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also enjoy Episode 9: The Court Date You Can’t Stop Thinking About.

single parenting, autism, trauma recovery, nervous system, co-regulation, single motherhood, resilience, gentle parenting, healing hacks, coregulate, coregulation

When your mind knows you’re safe but your body doesn’t, parenting can feel overwhelming. This episode explains what trauma-triggered overwhelm actually is, and offers practical steps to calm your nervous system in real time — without pretending or forcing it. This can be particularly challenging for single mothers.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also enjoy Episode 9: The Court Date You Can’t Stop Thinking About.

More here about trauma with The Trauma Therapist Podcast.

For trauma therapy, please check out

• Episode 17, what EMDR is and what it does
• Episode 18, that's 10 ways that EMDR has transformed my life

panic, trauma recover, PTSD flare-ups while parenting, healed parent, good mother, abuse survivor

Custody battles and co-parenting conflict activate the nervous system in a deep, physical way. This episode shares grounded ways to work to break free from anxiety when you can’t stop thinking about a court hearing — without denying the reality of what’s at stake: the money side, the custody, the amount of contact that you'll have to maintain with your ex, how much control each parent has, and your child's safety.

Faustina shares how in her experience, all that anxiety about the legal battle did was rob her of her experience of the present. When she realized time was flying by, and her son was growing up, while she was spending all that time in her head preparing for potential scenarios, she decided to no longer let anxiety rob her of her son's childhood. Over time she learned to not go into that rabbit hole of rehearsing arguments, plan the hearing two or three steps ahead, brace for the consequences of a ruling... And instead, stay in the moment with her child, and stay connected to him as he grows up. There's wisdom in letting go and letting God.

For more exploration about anxiety, please see this Episode by Mel Robbins about Anxiety.

Keywords: co-parenting stress, custody battle, family court, stress, high conflict co-parent, custody anxiety, trauma-informed parenting, court stress, nervous system regulation, overwhelmed motherhood, parenting resilience, emotional grounding, parenting under stress, custody battle, legal battle, divorcing the narcissist, court hearing, coparenting stress, legal abuse, divorcing a narcissist, NPD, navigating divorce with ASD

Many mothers escape because their nervous system is overwhelmed, not because they lack strength. This episode explores the difference between rest that nourishes us and escape that numbs us — and offers simple, doable ways to create calm in small moments throughout the day.

As single mothers dealing with neurodivergence, trauma, and a lot of coparenting conflict, escaping can be the norm. It's just too much, on most days. Let's look at ways we can rest instead.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also enjoy Episode 9: TheCourt Date You Can’t Stop Thinking About.

Keywords: rest vs escape, parenting overwhelm, trauma-informed parenting, nervous system regulation, autistic parent, sensory overload, self-regulation, healing from burnout, mindful parenting, maternal burnout, parental burnout, overwhelmed motherhood, neurodivergent parenting, parenting resilience, emotional fatigue recovery, solo parenting an autistic child

"I'm touched out!"

"My kid is always up against me, I need a break!"

Parenting spaces talk about this at great length, but no one is talking about being "stimmed out". Parenting an autistic child can be physically and emotionnaly draining. ASD parenting is a whole other level of sensory overload, especially for single, autistic parents carrying trauma.

When there's no other parent around to take over while you recover, what do you do?

When your child’s stimming, movement, or verbal repetition triggers your own sensory overload, and you feel like you're carrying most of the parenting load, what do you do?

For mothers coming into parenting a neurodivergent child when they themselves are neurodivergent, and have experienced trauma, it's a lot.

This episode is about what it feels like to be stimmed out as a single mother. It's noise, it's movement, it's bolting, it's much more than just wanting to be up against you or in your arms. As a matter of fact, a lot of the time our ASD kids don't even want to be held - they're just here for the noise levels, the running around and allll the sensory-seeking behaviours.

So here you will find 5 practical, tiny adjustments you can rely on in the midst of being stimmed out by your autistic child. It may help you stay present without shutting down or reacting. We cover guilt-free, real strategies for protecting your nervous system while still showing up with love while your autistic child is stimming you out.

parenting autism, sensory overload, autistic parent, mom guilt, overstimulation, stimming, PDA autism, neurodivergent parenting, stims, gentle parenting autism, regulating nervous system, autistic motherhood, parenting through overwhelm, coping skills for parents, single mom, single mother, trauma-informed parenting, emotional regulation for parents, parenting burnout, parenting resilience, supporting autistic children, sensory needs, autistic sensory experience, mindful parenting neurodivergence

After abuse, peace can feel wrong. After years of chaos and survival, calm can make your body panic — because silence used to mean danger.
In this episode, Faustina explains why calm feels unsafe and how to rebuild your nervous system’s trust in quiet. With simple grounding tools and sensory-aware examples, she shows how “micro-calm” moments can rewire your sense of safety over time.

For mothers recovering from trauma, navigating co-parenting, or living with ADHD or autism, this episode offers realistic, no-pressure steps toward peace that lasts.

Keywords: PTSD healing, nervous system regulation, parenting after abuse, hypervigilance, neurodivergent mom, neurodivergent mother

Healing doesn’t mean life gets quiet. It means you learn how to find stillness inside the noise.

In this reflection, Faustina shares how she practices calm in real moments — reading court emails, managing meltdowns, or feeling her body’s old panic rise up. This isn’t about perfection or pretending to be all good. It’s about creating small pauses that remind your nervous system: “We’re safe now.”

If you've ever wondered how to stay centered in chaos, or how to stay calm when life gets crazy, this episode is for you.

For single mothers healing from trauma or in the thick of high-conflict co-parenting, this episode offers practical ways to build real emotional safety, one small grounding practice at a time.

For farther information on finding safety in your body, you may consider this episode here, by the SelfHealers Soundboard: How To Create Safety in Your Body.

keywords: trauma recovery, co-parenting, mindfulness, trauma, parenting during abuse, single mother, finding peace, how to be happy

When you leave what feels like an abusive relationship and become a single parent, healing takes on a new shape.

In this quiet reflection, Faustina shares how leaving a relationship that felt violent, manipulative and destructive during pregnancy opened the door to clarity — and how her child’s emotions later became mirrors of her own unhealed pain.

This episode explores the real experience of parenting after trauma: the body memories, the panic, and the work of re-teaching yourself safety while caring for a child who depends on your calm.

Light in the Battle is a space for single mothers rebuilding after emotional abuse, finding peace, and learning to parent with ASD.

If you've enjoyed this, you'll want to follow up with Episode 5, Finding Stillness in the Battle - How to Stay Centered When Life Won’t Slow Down

#parentingaftertrauma #gentlemotherhood #healingjourney #PTSD #emotionalregulation

"Why didn't she leave", you ask.

"Why does she keep dating the same types of men over and over? When will she learn? "

Sounds familiar? Don't we just love that judgment coming from uneducated, well-meaning people who are not familiar with the concept of trauma bonding.

Well... It's biology. Childhood trauma and/or narcissistic abuse can create a true addiction in the brain. A trauma bond.

This Episode is the logical next step in our Chaos Addiction Mini-Series, after Episode 15 A and Episode 15B, where we talked about how things feel and how we suffer from the boredom and the deafening silence that follow years of running on adrenaline, oxytocin and cortisol - but precisely, we didn't dive into the brain chemicals and the biology of addiction to chaos.

Here, Faustina goes over:

• the various stress hormones involved in abusive relationships, (cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine and oxytocin)
• what that addiction may look like for autistic women,
• the unfortunate rewiring of the brain that makes it challenging for a narcissistic abuse survivor to settle away from chaos,
• how it feels when you really really want to get out but can't seem to,
• how that wiring can be healed, even when it comes from childhood,
• very concrete, ASD-friendly, actionable choices survivors on the spectrum can make to get those hormone levels back to normal, and build bridges away from chaos and towards peace.

Please leave this show a 5* review.

In 16B we will talk about concrete steps to normalize the levels of the neurochemicals we described here.

More here about ⁠Trauma Bond Science⁠ with Darlene Lancer.

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos" mini-series) is aLiberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠, ⁠Episode 16A⁠, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD.For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development.That's Episode 19.

• The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency and gratitude.

Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠.

Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

"Why does this keep happening to me?"

"Why do I keep attracting narcissists?"

You choose to stop. With 6 ASD-friendly practical tips that Faustina used repeatedly in her journey of taming peace after years of running on adrenaline and cortisol, we can slowly familiarize ourselves with our new life. Whether that's getting out of domestic violence, healing from narcissistic abuse, or winning a custody battle in family court, there's going to be a point where things will stop being a constant threat, a constant chaos loop. And your brain won't like it if you're trauma bonded. So here are 6 trauma informed, practical ways that you teach your brain to enjoy the quiet after the storm, so you can settle into it, and change the course of your life - one day at a time!

Addiction to chaos is a real thing. It's called a trauma bond. In this episode we get practical with 6 mindset shifts and day-to-day habits that may help us not dive head first into another problem, another abusive relationship, another overwhelming situation. In the next episode we nerd out on the hormones in the brain that drive that addiction, and how we can help normalize those hormone levels.

I want to point you to one of my biggest pillars in my trauma recovery, Dr. Ramani, who teaches from a more authoritative perspective, things you need to know about narcissism, NPD, and about recovery.

The content in this podcast is for general information and education only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos" mini-series) is aLiberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may share about court prep actually land.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD.For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development.That's Episode 19.

• The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,
• Gratitude,
• We'll also cover Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network
• Surrender and Grief

Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠.

Through the story of winning a custody battle, despite what felt like years of legal intimidation and harassment, Faustina shows an example of what addiction to chaos looks and feels like. Winning in family court after many years of feeling unseen and misunderstood by a legal system that isn’t trauma-informed, completely stunned her like a deer in the headlights.

We discuss the fact that calm can feel threatening, that trauma wires your nervous system to seek more chaos, why peace showing up abruptly can be destabilizing, in order to plant the scenery for Episode 15-B where we will list 6 practical Tips to retrain the body to feel safe again.

This mini-series about the addiction to chaos for trauma survivors, sets the stage for a deeper analysis about Emotional Detachment after narcissistic abuse.

A story most single moms who have left relationships that felt narcissistic, intimidating and confusing, and who are carrying relationship or childhood trauma, and suddenly find themselves forced to adjust to some level of peace, will relate to.

Faustina suggests we start thinking about surrender with the words, "Be still and know that I am God" as a great mantra for the transition out of chaos and into peace. Surrender is one of the mindset shifts that she built her newfound freedom around.

After this practical description of behaviors and feelings, in Episodes 16A and 16B we then dive into the neurochemical aspect of the addiction to chaos, talk about the stress hormones, and suggest ways to get the neurochemical levels back to normal.

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, starting right here with the "addiction to chaos" mini-series is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any recommendations I may have for court prep actually land.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠Episode 15A⁠, ⁠Episode15B⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness (not reconciliation!) as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19.

• Then Codependency,
• Gratitude,
• Fellowship & Mentorship,
• Surrender & Grief.

Follow the show so you can hear the entire season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out Episode 9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠.

KEYWORDS

autistic single mom, narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, custody battle, trauma bond, chaos addiction, addiction to chaos, life transition, NPD, ASD, Catholicism, court trauma, court battle, win a custody battle, healing from narcissistic abuse, trauma responses, high-conflict co-parenting, healing after abuse, emotional safety, breaking trauma patterns, Mental Health, Parenting, Self-Improvement, Trauma, Catholic Faith, Rosary, Jesus, spiritual warfare, demonic aspect of a court battle, legal abuse

This content is for general information and education only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

After gaslighting, rebuilding your intuition and body signals is the foundation for helping your child feel emotionally safe.

In this episode, we talk about what gaslighting is, how to heal from gaslighting, staying honest with your overwhelm, and modeling emotional safety for sensitive or neurodivergent kids. Faustina shares relatable, personal stories and real-life examples of learning to feel the emotions again, and humbly using those to model emotional intelligence to a sensitive child.

If this helped you feel less alone, please leave a 5 star review — it genuinely helps other overwhelmed moms find this space.

Healing from gaslighting is like finding strength in the storm that follows, with the post-separation dysfunctional dynamics that come after you leave.

• emotional safety for kids

• trauma-informed parenting

• parenting after abuse

• overwhelmed moms

• neurodivergent parenting

• PDA autism parenting

• sensitive children

• co-regulation strategies

• healing from gaslighting

• nervous system regulation

• parenting when triggered

• rebuilding intuition

• overwhelmed mom support

• Catholic mom podcast

• mother wound healing

• emotional literacy for kids

• parenting through dysregulation

• gentle parenting for trauma survivors

• raising autistic or PDA children

• how to stay calm with your child

• healing your inner voice

• teaching kids emotional regulation

Episode — Fellowship & Mentorship in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery — Podcasthon

Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court — Season 2

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

This season is a step-by-step journey from the trauma bond to emotional freedom. Along the way we’ve explored trauma recovery through understanding the trauma bond, working through PTSD and CPTSD, using trauma therapies like EMDR, practicing forgiveness without reconciliation, and breaking patterns of codependency.

In this episode we move into the next phase of narcissistic abuse recovery: fellowship and mentorship.

Healing from abusive dynamics is extremely difficult to do in isolation. Survivors often leave these relationships with confusion, self-doubt, and lingering trauma responses that make it hard to trust themselves again. Community support can provide something that individual trauma recovery work alone cannot: shared understanding, validation, and co-regulation.

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, finding rooms where people understand these patterns can be life-changing.

In this episode, we discuss the importance of recovery communities and introduce the STAR Network (Survivors of Toxic and Abusive Relationships), an organization that provides support groups, mentorship, and resources for survivors. In the context of Podcasthon week, promoting this organization was a natural fit with where we're at in Season 2: Fellowship & Mentorship as a way of achieving emotional detachment after narcissistic abuse, and in preparation for family court hearings.

• Why narcissistic abuse recovery often requires community support
• The role of fellowship in trauma recovery
• Why survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle to heal in isolation
• How peer support helps rebuild trust in your perception of reality
• Why autistic women (ASD) may benefit especially from structured recovery communities
• The difference between codependency and healthy fellowship
• How mentorship and survivor communities can accelerate healing
• Why emotional detachment becomes easier when you are not carrying the recovery journey alone

Recovery spaces like TAR Anon meetings offered through the STAR Network, led by Dr. Jamie Huysman, provide opportunities for survivors of narcissistic abuse to connect with others who understand the dynamics of toxic and abusive relationships. For many survivors, these communities reduce shame, provide understanding, and support long-term healing.

For autistic women navigating narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery can feel especially complex. ASD traits such as pattern-seeking, deep empathy, and difficulty interpreting manipulative social dynamics can make survivors more vulnerable to codependent patterns. Fellowship and mentorship can help provide perspective, pattern recognition, and emotional support along the way.

As we continue Season 2, we will move from fellowship into the next stages of emotional detachment: gratitude, surrender, and grief — the final steps toward emotional freedom.

If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse, remember: recovery does not have to happen alone.

👉 Follow the show to continue the Season 2 journey.👉 Join a TAR Anon meeting ASAP👉 Leave a review if this episode helped you — it helps this information reach more survivors.

Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience and perspectives on narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.

I want to do something a little different in this episode.

If you’ve been listening to Season 2 from the beginning, you probably already feel that there’s a progression. We didn’t just randomly move from trauma bonds to EMDR to forgiveness to codependency.

There’s a reason the season unfolds the way it does.

And if you’re newer here — if you found this podcast somewhere in the middle — you might not realize that Season 2 was intentionally built as a roadmap, for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse.

Because healing after narcissistic abuse, trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and identity loss is not random. It has phases, like pit stops.

And depending on when you found this podcast, you might be asking yourself:

• Where am I in this process?
• Am I at the trauma bond stage, or past it?
• Am I behind?
• Should I start at the beginning?
• Why does this episode resonate but that one makes me so mad?

This episode is here to help you orient yourself, and understand how this season is structured.

We started with the trauma bond because you can’t rebuild your life if your nervous system is still organized around the person who hurt you.

This is the stage where you might still feel pulled toward them. Where you know logically it was harmful, but emotionally you still feel attached. Where you’re confused about why you miss someone who damaged you.

Those episodes break down what the trauma bond actually is, how it forms, and how it begins to loosen.

If that’s where you are — start there with Episode 15A.

Once the trauma bond starts to weaken, something else often shows up more clearly: the nervous system.

This is where you might feel dysregulated, anxious, exhausted, reactive, numb, or flooded with emotions.

We talk about PTSD. We talk about EMDR. We talk about how trauma is encoded and how it can be reprocessed.

This phase is about stabilization.

Forgiveness comes next. And it does not mean excusing what happened, giving second chances, nor reconciling.

Forgiveness, in this context, is about releasing the chronic emotional charge that keeps you tied to the injury.

It only becomes accessible after some stabilization.

If you tried to forgive too early and it felt fake or forced — that’s why.

This episode sits exactly where it belongs in the roadmap.

Once you’re no longer just surviving, you start asking harder questions.

• Why did I tolerate this?
• What patterns in me made this possible?
• Why do I over-accommodate?

This is where we move into codependency — what it is, why it forms, and why autistic women in particular are often especially vulnerable to it.

Because we’re often deeply attuned, conscientious, and conditioned to overgive and keep relationships smooth.

This stage is about reclaiming autonomy.

It’s about understanding your wiring so you can rewire it.

After stabilization and restructuring comes expansion.

• Gratitude — understanding that this nonsense happened FOR you.
• Fellowship and mentorship — including safe, grounded coregulation through the STAR Network.
• Surrender and grief — the deeper integration work where you release the version of you that survived domestic abuse, as well as all the negativity in your current reality.

These phases each become accessible when your nervous system is ready.

If you’re still emotionally pulled toward the dysfunctional person, you’re probably in trauma bond work.

If you’re physically out but your body still feels unstable, PTSD and stabilization work might be most relevant.

If you’re questioning your own relational patterns, you need to understand codepedendency.

If you’re beginning to feel stable and asking how to build forward — you’re moving into integration.

You fall somewhere on a sequence.

And this season was built so that wherever you are, there’s a place to land on a nervous system recovery journey.

Please do not force yourself into a phase you’re not ready for.

You just have to meet yourself honestly where you are.

There is Light in this Battle — at every point.

How do you actually break free from codependency?

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

This is Part 3 of the Codependency mini-series, within Season 2.

If you’re new to this topic, start with:

• Episode 20 — Codependent traits and behaviors

• Episode 21 — The link between autism and codependency

In this episode, we focus on something hopeful and practical:
How do you actually break free from codependency?

Because forgiveness alone doesn’t reorient you.
Trauma therapy alone doesn’t change identity.
And leaving the relationship alone doesn’t remove the pattern.

Codependency is not just about who you were with — it’s about who you became in order to survive.

And recovery requires a reorientation.

• The core message of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

• Why learning to depend on yourself is foundational

• How to stop abandoning yourself for others

• What healthy boundaries actually are (and what they are not)

• Practicing “no” and sitting with the discomfort

• The difference between supporting someone and fixing them

• Why detachment is not withdrawal, resignation, or indifference

• How to create internal predictability instead of seeking it through chaotic relationships

• Self-verification: why the autistic brain may cling to familiar dynamics — even painful ones

• Why joining support groups (like CoDA or other recovery spaces) can help with reorientation

• How recovery from codependency frees up bandwidth for parenting, work, strategy, and real peace

For autistic women especially, letting go of codependency can feel like losing a self-definition.
It creates a void.

The real question isn’t:
“Who am I without them?”

It’s:
“Who am I without the role that made me feel less like a misfit?”

That void is uncomfortable — but it’s where detachment begins.

And detachment, in this season, is not emotional coldness.
It’s the ability to stop organizing your identity around someone else’s emotional states.

That shift is what allows you to:

• show up calm in court

• stop sending reactive emails

• parallel parent strategically

• raise a non-codependent child

• engage in healthy relationships going forward

Codependency fades when the nervous system learns that stability, worth, predictability, and control can come from within — not from managing external chaos.

Later in Season 2, we’ll move into:

• Mentorship & fellowship

• Gratitude

• Surrender

• Grief

All essential steps on the path to full emotional detachment.

If this season is challenging you, that’s intentional. Growth is uncomfortable. But the woman you’re becoming is grounded, emotionally safe, and no longer defined by survival.

👉 Follow the show to receive the full Season 2 journey.
👉 Leave a review if this content is helping you.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals for guidance specific to your situation.

Have courage. You can do this.

Let's continue our deep dive into codependency — why autistic women are particularly vulnerable to codependency, before we think about ways out of codependency.

This entire Season is a journey towards emotional detachment, because detaching is essential not only for healing, but for protecting our children and showing up as the stable, credible parent in family court.

One of the hardest truths I had to learn is that legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high. As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, reports, or in court — they continue to generate material that can be used against them, even when their concerns are valid.

Emotional detachment does not mean we stop caring, what it does is it removes the reactivity that you shoot yourself in the foot with, time and time again.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!!!

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we get clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

So in Season 2, I’m taking you step by step through the journey I personally had to walk to detach completely — without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally be able to show patterns of behavior, in a way family court cannot ignore.

So far this season, we’ve covered:

• Trauma bonding (⁠Episode 15⁠ & ⁠Episode 16⁠)

• PTSD / CPTSD and EMDR (⁠Episodes 17⁠ & ⁠Episode 18)⁠

Now it’s time to talk about codependency IN ASD WOMEN.

• Recap of the 5 traits & behaviors found in codependents

• Recap of the 5 more common traits found in austistic people and how much that looks like codependent traits

• How codependency can develop in autistic women, especially those raised in unstable environments

• Reminders about the concept of self-verification — and how the autistic brain’s need for predictability can keep codependent dynamics in place

• How codependency and narcissistic dynamics reinforce each other without blaming survivors of domestic violence

• Why emotional detachment is key to parallel parenting and raising a non-codependent child

This episode draws in part from:

• Codependent No More, written by Melody Beattie

• An ⁠Interview Of Melody Beattie⁠

• Research on self-verification (SimplyPsychology.org and publicly available resources on Google)

This is Part 2 of the codependency arc. Part 1 has explained the common behaviors & traits of codependent people, and part 3 in Episode 22 will suggest ways to walk the journey of codependency recovery.

In upcoming episodes, we’ll move into gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender, and grief — all essential stages on the path to emotional detachment and freedom.

👉 Please follow the show and leave a 5-star review if this season resonates. It helps this content reach other women who need it.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.

Stay with me through this season. It will get uncomfortable for sure. That's the whole point, I'm trying to help you get out of your own way so you can better hear what your lawyer is saying.

I’m taking you on a journey, from the day you get out of the dysfunctional dynamic, all the way to emotional freedom. Follow the show so you can get all the episodes of Season 2.

Let's begin a deep dive into codependency — what it actually is, in preparation for why autistic women are particularly vulnerable to it next week - and why emotional detachment is essential not only for healing, but for protecting our children and showing up as the stable, credible parent in family court.

One of the hardest truths I had to learn is that legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high. As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, reports, or in court — they continue to generate material that can be used against them, even when their concerns are valid.

Emotional detachment does not mean we stop caring, what it does is it removes the reactivity that you shoot yourself in the foot with, time and time again.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!!!

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we get clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

So in Season 2, I’m taking you step by step through the journey I personally had to walk to detach completely — without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally be able to show patterns of behavior, in a way family court cannot ignore.

So far this season, we’ve covered:

• Trauma bonding (Episode 15 & Episode 16)

• PTSD / CPTSD and EMDR (Episodes 17 & Episode 18)

• Forgiveness — and why it does not mean reconciliation (Episode 19)

  
  

Now it’s time to talk about codependency.

• A clear definition of codependency and common traits

• Why codependent traits often emerge in dysfunctional or high-conflict family systems

• How codependency can develop in autistic women, especially those raised in unstable environments

• Why forgiveness alone doesn’t break emotional entanglement

• The concept of self-verification — and how the autistic brain’s need for predictability can keep codependent dynamics in place

• How codependency and narcissistic dynamics reinforce each other without blaming survivors of domestic violence

• Why emotional detachment is key to parallel parenting and raising a non-codependent child

This episode draws in part from:

• Codependent No More, written by Melody Beattie

• An Interview Of Melody Beattie

• Research on self-verification (SimplyPsychology.org and publicly available resources on Google)

This is Part 1 of the codependency arc. Part 2 in Episode 21 will link ASD to Codependency closely, andthen in Episode 22 we'll suggest ways to walk the journey of codependency recovery.

In upcoming episodes, we’ll move into gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender, and grief — all essential stages on the path to emotional detachment and freedom.

👉 Please follow the show and leave a 5-star review if this season resonates. It helps this content reach other women who need it.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.

Stay with me through this season. It will get uncomfortable for sure. That's the whole point, I'm trying to help you get out of your own way so you can better hear what your lawyer is saying.

I’m taking you on a journey. Follow the show so you can get all the episodes of Season 2.

Forgiveness is a tactical advantage. Once you're out of an abusive relationship, whether that's with a family member, a toxic work environment, etc, once you've handled your addiction to chaos so you don't go back, and you've found the right therapy for you in case you carry PTSD, next step is to think about Forgiveness.

The 6 Items we think about when it comes to forgiveness, in this episode, are:

1. What forgiveness is and what it is not
2. Forgive and Forget, really???
3. Forgiveness as a way of letting the hurt bear fruit
4. Forgiveness as a weapon of spiritual warfare
5. Forgiveness as a logical thing to do for autistic women
6. Secret and Juicy last item you will LOVE :)

When we let go of the need for revenge, when we decide to let go of the emotional load, that's when we find Emotional Detachment, freedom and real impact.

To go farther:

The Christian Meaning of Suffering, on the Vatican's website.

Another take on Forgiveness and Revenge by Stuff you Should Know

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage forFamily Court (starting with the addiction to chaos mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you may receive about family court, actually lands.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos: Episode 15A, Episode 15B, Episode 16A, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• Here we talk about Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Your suffering must bear fruit, learning to forgive is one.

• The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,
• Gratitude,
• Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network,
• Surrender & Grief

Follow the show so you can hear the entire season about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court

This content is for general information and inspiration only. It is based on lived experience, on conversations had with others, and on deep research performed on publicly available information. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs. If you or someone you’re caring for is at risk of harm, please contact local emergency services or a trusted crisis service in your area.

Keywords: autistic women, forgiving your abuser, forgiveness after abuse, how to forgive, how do I forgive, autistic brain, spiritual warfare, what is forgiveness, narcissistic abuse, forgiving the narcissist, freedom, forgiving as an autistic woman, emotional detachment, preparing for court, leaving an abusive relationship, ASD brain, letting go, how to let go, why should I forgive, reasons to forgive, resentment, christian meaning of suffering, domestic abuse, autism, ASD

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle, a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse — and a spacewhere we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

In this episode, I share the 10 most significant ways EMDR therapy changed my life, from parenting and unmasking my autism, to emotional detachment, femininity, and finally performing better in family court.

What I learned the hard way is this:
Legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high.

As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, police reports, or in front of a judge — they continue to be perceived as unstable, emotional, or unsafe, even when their concerns are valid. Courts are not trauma-informed. That reality doesn’t change. What can change is how we show up.

EMDR was the turning point that allowed me to detach emotionally without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally play by the court’s rules in a way that made patterns undeniable.

In this episode, I cover:

• How EMDR helped me speak calmly and precisely about what was done to me
• Why emotional regulation is critical when dealing with police, courts, schools, and institutions
• The impact of EMDR on my parenting, advocacy, and sensory overwhelm as an autistic mother
• How trauma fawning overlaps with autistic masking — and why EMDR made unmasking possible
• The return of softness, femininity, and quiet strength after CPTSD
• Why forgiveness (not reconciliation) only became possible after trauma treatment
• How surrender becomes accessible once hypervigilance loosens its grip
• Why emotional detachment is not indifference — it’s strategic, protective, and child-focused

• How EMDR changed my behavior long before I ever walked into a courtroom

If you’re new to EMDR, I strongly recommend starting with Episode 17, where I explain what EMDR is, the difference between traumatic memories and bad memories, and why this episode builds directly on that foundation.

👉 Next in Season 2:
Episode 19 — Forgiveness: What It Is, and Why It Does NOT Mean Reconciliation
If this season resonates, please follow the show and leave a review — it helps this content reach other women who need it. In Season 2, so far we've covered:

• The first step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you have PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19.

• The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,
• Gratitude,
• Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network,
• Surrender & grief

Follow the show so you can hear the entire season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

Here is the link to the ⁠TED Talk by Brené Brown, on Vulnerability⁠ which I mention in this episode.

Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.

Take it one day at a time.Your only job today is to make it to tonight.Then you’ll do that again tomorrow.

We’ll see you next week.

PTSD and CPTSD are common in survivors of narcissistic abuse and in their recovery. We find ourselves going into fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is not helpful in parenting, let alone solo parenting with an ASD brain. It's also not helpful during the months leading up to a court hearing, and during the hearing itself.

The nervous system has adapted to keep us safe, but once the chronic threat is gone, nervous system recovery means learning to let go of these maladaptive responses.

So we look for trauma therapies for PTSD and CPTSD. Regular, "talk" therapy can be retraumatizing, whereas EMDR is a short, powerful, trauma-specific approach. EMDR is one of several options available to you to treat PTSD and CPTSD, so please work with your therapist to see what's best for your specific situation. All I know is that EMDR is the one that treated my CPTSD.

In this Episode I explain what EMDR is, how it works, the difference between a traumatic memory and a bad memory, the timeline to clean out various traumatic memories, and I share a few heads up from my personal experience with EMDR.

Please consider listening to this as well, Chronic Trauma and EMDR, to go deeper into EMDR and Trauma.

In Episode 18 we will talk about 10 things that have dramatically changed in my life after I did EMDR, how it's helped me win in family court and better advocate for my child.

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with the "addiction to chaos" mini-series, Episode 15A to Episode 16B) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you obtain from your lawyer, or any advice coming from lived experience, about court prep, actually lands.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to not go back. I cover the Trauma Bond, a true addiction to chaos, in ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode 16A⁠⁠, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. That's Episode 19.

• The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency, gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender and grief.

Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to heal from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

Keywords: Domestic violence, trauma recovery, PTSD, chronic trauma, CPTSD, childhood trauma, trauma triggers, nervous system recovery, how to heal the nervous system after trauma, emotional detachment, EMDR, EMDR therapy, how does EMDR therapy work, healing from trauma, trauma healing

This Episode I'm positioning as a "break" in the middle of Season 2, "Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court" which covers trauma recovery, CPTSD, forgiveness, gratitude, the trauma bond, etc.

Maybe it's my autism but I feel the need to explain myself :) Why I'm here, whom I'm speaking to and what I can do for you.

I'm Faustina, I'm a single mom on the spectrum raising a PDA child, healing from narcissistic abuse and winning in court despite confusing dynamics. I'm doing it all without a husband, without a safety net and I'm carrying 99% of the parenting load. Just me, my kid, my dog, and Jesus.

If you also feel like there are no other spaces that talk about all of this stuff TOGETHER then I'm your girl. I am no longer in the thick of it, I went to EMDR therapy for PTSD, I did the work to soothe the nervous system, so I can speak clearly. But it's still fresh. I'm not speaking about topics that have been in the rear view mirror for many years.

I am and always will be autistic, raising a PDA child, in a high-conflict coparenting dynamic, and leaning on God for my spiritual battle and the demonic aspects of dealing with narcissistic patterns of behaviour. My intention is to inspire others to find moments of joy in their day-to-day.

We now need to bring the cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine levels back to normal. In this final episode about breaking the addiction to chaos, Faustina goes over 6 steps that worked for her, when she DECIDED to LEARN to enjoy peace. With compassion and understanding, with humour and Catholic faith, with small action steps that are easy to implement, she describes what has worked for her to bring the levels of the neurochemicals back to healthy levels and thereby, heal the trauma bond.

Chaos and danger are a true neurochemical addiction. Faustina was able to overcome the trauma bond by inventing 6 steps for herself, based on her very basic understanding of things she found online. She goes over these steps as possible shortcuts in your recovery from narcissistic abuse, legal abuse, or any form of childhood trauma that may have wired your brain to crave chaos.

Autistic women are particularly prone to this addiction, because they have a craving for predictability, patterns, the type you see in the cycle of abuse... Women with ASD are often more vulnerable to harmful relational patterns and can get pulled into cycles of instability very easily.

These 6 steps to break the addiction to chaos incorporate a Catholic interpretation of why that peace feels foreign, despite God’s promise, “My peace I give you”. We stress the importance of the Rosary, the Eucharist, and Confession, as rhythm and structure. You can pray novenas for peace,novenas for protection, sure, but you should also learn about the science of addiction!

Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos"mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly.

Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!

Here is the order I recommend for your healing journeytowards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:

• First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos:⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B.

• You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18.

• You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19.

• The next things to think about in your emotional detachment journey, will be codependency,
• gratitude,
• fellowship & mentorship with the STAR Network,
• surrender & grief

Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment.

While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how toheal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional.

To go deeper into the neurochemistry behind stress, overwhelm, and emotional intensity, Huberman’s episode “⁠⁠Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety⁠⁠” expands on the dopamine, cortisol, and survival-mode loops.

Grief After Narcissistic Abuse: Mourning What Was Lost

Grief is what happens when you stop fighting reality — andfinally allow yourself to feel what it cost you.

For a survivor of narcissistic abuse, those lossescan be significant, complex, and often invisible to others.

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle— a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for FamilyCourt — Season 2

This season is a journey from the trauma bond toemotional freedom. We’ve covered trauma recovery through PTSD and CPTSD, EMDR, forgiveness without reconciliation, codependency, fellowship, gratitude, and surrender.

In this episode, we arrive at a step that cannot be skipped: grief.

In this episode, we explore:

• Grieving the life you thought you were building
• Grieving a reality that looks nothing like what you planned
• The loss of personal belongings, stability, and shared history
• Losing friendships, social circles, and cutting off “flying monkeys”
• Grieving changes in your relationship with your children, including parental alienation
• The loss of innocence in relationships — and no longer being “carefree”
• The reality that courts often focus only on the children, not what you endured
• The loss of control over your life due to court orders and legal structures
• Why taking stock of what you lost is necessary for emotional detachment
• The difference between grief and staying stuck in the past

Grief is the process that allows you to release what isgone, so it stops defining and controlling your present reality.

For autistic women navigating trauma recovery andnarcissistic abuse recovery, grief can feel overwhelming — especially when paired with sensory overload, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

But avoiding grief keeps you:

• Reactive
• Attached to the past
• Emotionally entangled

ALL of which will be used against you in family court, in acustody battle.

Allowing grief is what makes emotional detachmentcomplete.

It is what allows you to:

• stop chasing things that you can't have back
• stop bargaining with the past
• and finally redirect your energy toward your life, your legal battle, and your future

As we move toward the final episode of Season 2, this is themoment where everything begins to settle.

If this episode feels heavy, take your time with it.
Grief is not something you rush. It will hit in waves, if you allow it to.

👉 Follow the show to complete the Season 2 journey
👉Leave a review if this content is helping you move through trauma recovery

Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.

Take it one day at a time.
We’ll see you next week.

Let’s now learn to let go of what we cannot control, so we can fully focus on what we can.

For a survivor of narcissistic abuse, this can feel counterintuitive. And yet it’s a crucial step in performing better in family court.

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle— a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

This season is a journey from the trauma bond to emotional freedom. So far, we’ve covered trauma recovery through understanding the trauma bond, PTSD and CPTSD, EMDR, forgiveness without reconciliation, codependency, fellowship and mentorship, and gratitude. It was all presented in an ASD-friendly way, for women and single mothers on the spectrum.

In this episode, we move into one of the most misunderstood— and most powerful — steps in narcissistic abuse recovery:

surrender.

In the face of injustice, and of feeling like people are walking all over you, we’re not trying to give up on our goals to protect the kids from harm.

Surrender is: letting go of what you cannot control, so you save your energy to fully act on what you can control.

For a survivor of narcissistic abuse, this can feel counterintuitive.

Over time, through trauma and with underlying codependent traits, you have learned to scan for danger, you’ve lived in the anxiety of anticipating outcomes, and to try and control as much as possible.

You're living in a Chinese finger trap

But staying in that state keeps you reactive, exhausted, and enmeshed with your coparent.

And in high-conflict situations — especially in family court— that can work against you.

In this episode, we explore:

• The difference between surrender and giving up
• Why resisting reality keeps you stuck in reactivity
• What you actually need to let go of (control, outcomes, fairness, being understood)
• Why surrender is essential for emotional detachment
• How surrender regulates the nervous system after trauma
• Why clarity and strategy become possible only after letting go
• How surrender helps you stop feeding high-conflict dynamics
• Why emotional detachment is not emotional disconnection, but control over how you show up

For ASD women navigating trauma recovery and narcissistic abuse recovery, surrender is a shift from control and emotional reactions, over to strategy and appropriate responses.

Surrender allows you to:

* stop negotiating with reality,

* stop replaying scenarios and possible outcomes,

* stop trying to force outcomes.

And instead:

focus your energy where you actually have power.

Serenity prayer: Lord give me the serenity to accept whatI cannot change, the courage to change what I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

This is where emotional detachment becomes real.

As we approach the end of Season 2, surrender creates thespace for the next and final step: grief — the process of fullyacknowledging what was lost so you can move forward without carrying it.

This episode is likely to be a little triggering. That’s whyother influencers don’t talk about this stuff, it’s not sexy. If this episode challenges you, take your time with it., or maybe start a little earlier in Season 2. This episode about surrender, along with grief next week, are the Final Boss :)

👉 Follow the show to continue the full Season 2 journey
👉Leave a 5* review if this content is helping you reach emotional detachment, so more women can find it in their recommendations.

Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.

Take it one day at a time.
We’ll see you next week.

www.lightinthebattle.com

Gratitude is often misunderstood, especially for an autistic survivor of narcissistic abuse.

Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for FamilyCourt — Season 2

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle— a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

This season is a journey from the trauma bond toemotional freedom. So far, we’ve covered trauma recovery through understanding the trauma bond, PTSD and CPTSD, EMDR, forgiveness without reconciliation, codependency, and the importance of fellowship and mentorship.

In this episode, we move into a stage that can feeluncomfortable — even controversial: gratitude.

Gratitude is often misunderstood, especially for a survivorof narcissistic abuse.

We're not trying to minimize what happened, justify the abuse, or ignore our legitimate anger and pain.

Gratitude only becomes accessible after traumarecovery has begun.
If you are still in survival mode, gratitude may feel impossible — and that’s okay.

But once emotional detachment starts to take hold, everythingchanges.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the brain cannot focus on gratitude and fear at thesame time
• How gratitude helps regulate the nervous system after trauma
• The difference between denial and genuine gratitude
• How gratitude helps break the victim mindset without dismissing reality
• Why focusing only on what was lost keeps you emotionally entangled
• How gratitude reorients your attention back to what is stable and safe
• Why becoming a more grounded, peaceful person changes your relationships
• How gratitude increases your capacity as a parent, professional, and decision-maker
• Why gratitude becomes possible only after codependency begins to loosen
• How gratitude prepares you for the final stages of emotional detachment

For autistic women navigating narcissistic abuse recovery,this step is particularly important. When your nervous system is no longer constantly scanning for danger, you can begin to notice what is working, what is safe, and what is yours.

Gratitude is a muscle that you grow, it's not a personality trait that you either have or don't have.
It is a practice of redirecting your attention.

And over time, it becomes a new way of experiencing life —one that is no longer defined by what happened to you.

As we continue Season 2, we are approaching the final stepsof the journey:
surrender and grief — where emotional detachment becomes complete.

If this episode challenges you, take your time with it.Maybe pick a time where you’re more open to these suggestions.  Just stay open, and choose the correcttiming.

👉 Follow the show tocontinue the full Season 2 journey
👉 Leave a review if this content is helping you — it helps reach more autistic women in trauma recovery

Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.

Take this life one day at a time, Mama.
We’ll see you next week.

www.lightinthebattle.com

This is a low-demand reflexion for women in autistic burnout. We’re not going to try and address our stress, tiredness, or overwhelm as there are a lot of resources about this online. We’re also not going to control our breathing or our body. Zero demands over here.

We’re going to address the underserved segment of autistic women in burnout, especially autistic single mothers - that deep, full-body shutdown that feels like our nervous system has nothing left to give, our executive functioning has crapped out, we can’t speak, the sensory sensitivity has become overwhelming, and we can't function beyond taking care of our babies' needs.

This standalone, bonus episode is a low-demand, quiet "meditation" that validates ASD Moms going through autistic burnout.

This Episode may also help all single moms in burnout. Mom burnout and parental burnout in general can happen, and the nervous system can recover.

This "meditation" is one of the tools you can use in your autistic burnout recovery, or in your mom burnout recovery journey.

We don’t have to heal in this moment. We  don’t have to feel better. This is simply a pause in the Battle. You are welcome to come back as often as you need to.

Keywords: PDA, autistic woman, autistic single mom, single mom on the spectrum, woman on the spectrum, autistic burnout, autistic burnout recovery, ASD burnout, meditation, mom in burnout, burnout in single moms, burnout recovery