This podcast episode features an interview with Monique Darnell, a licensed professional counselor and author of the "STD Mental Health Handbook." Our discussion focuses on the mental health and emotional aspects of dealing with a herpes diagnosis, including the stigma, shame, and trauma that can arise. Darnell shares her personal experiences and insights on how to approach self-acceptance, manage emotions like anger and resentment, and ultimately view a herpes diagnosis as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement rather than a life-defining setback. The podcast aims to provide a holistic, mental health-focused perspective on navigating the challenges of living with an STD, drawing on Darnell's expertise and lived experiences.

✏️DETAILS FROM THIS EPISODE✏️ 

📚 *STD Mental Health Handbook *

A workbook that brings awareness, experience, perception and feelings to receiving an STD diagnosis. Focusing on the connection of emotions experiences in a life-changing event

👉https://amzn.to/4cUN72I

☁Monique's Website 

mrdcasolutions.com

☁Monique's Instagram Page

@moniquerdarnell

📚Other books by Monique A Guide to Healthy Relationships, a Single's Ministry Part I and From Fact to Faith

In this episode titled "4 Things I'm Doing to Uplevel My Life Despite Having Herpes," Alexandra Harbushka shares four key strategies for improving overall well-being while living with herpes. Firstly, she emphasizes the importance of prioritizing sleep, suggesting techniques such as avoiding screens before bedtime and wearing blue light glasses.

Next, she discusses the significance of nutrition, including the benefits of consuming whole foods, avoiding certain oils high in omega-6 fatty acids, and opting for organic choices to minimize exposure to glyphosate. 

The importance of regular exercise and supporting the nervous system through techniques like Biofield Tuning are also highlighted. Biofield Tuning, a sound therapy technique, is explained as a method for addressing physical, mental, and emotional imbalances by working with the body's electrical system. Through these practices, the speaker aims to enhance their overall quality of life despite the challenges posed by living with herpes.

You can learn more about the supplements mentioned in the video here

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/monolaurin

And learn about Elisabeth Kristof and her work on healing the nervous system here, as well as join the community for healing your nervous system.

https://go.lifewithherpes.com/sp1-4964

Learn more about Alexandra and her work on her website

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/start-here

Coach Sarah Joy helps women with thyroid conditions find their root causes. She got herpes, was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and Epstein–Barr. After years of dealing with symptoms, exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, muscle weakness, panic attacks, brittle hair and nails, hair loss, food intolerances, bloating and pain after I ate, heart pain, palpitations, brain fog, memory loss, constipation, intolerances to the weather, seasonal or environmental allergies, and more, she managed to get her health back after years of dealing with the symptoms.

When we are in a relationship there is acceptance on both sides. We think that herpes is the only thing that has to be accepted. But we are also going to be accepting my flaws and a herpes diagnosis.

These wellness products are made to fight herpes outbreaks. We created them especially for people living with herpes, who want to deal with their outbreaks in a more natural ways. They can also be used to support your body when you're on antivirals.
Overall, they took about a year to get formulated and I'm so exited to share them with you!

If you were just diagnosed with herpes, you're probably freaking out and don't know where to go or turn to. I hope this video sheds some light on the topic you're interested in, how to go on, and where to search for information.

There's a preconceived notion in many of us that being promiscuous will definitely get you herpes. If you will not sleep around, or not sleep with 'those people', or always do things the right way, there's no way you're going to get herpes.
I also thought I'm that person.

Sometimes people think it's easier to get diagnosed later in life, and other times, people think it's easier when we're younger and we can deal with it easier. The truth is, there's never a good time to get diagnosed and it can always be hard to deal with outbreaks and disclose to our partners, when dating seems so far away.

According to Oxford's dictionary the definition of asymptomatic is, "(of a condition or a person) producing or showing no symptoms." So what this means for someone living with herpes is, they have herpes but don't have any symptoms. They don't get outbreaks, they don't have tingles, they don't get itchy, they don't have any sensation or clue that they have herpes.

There are 4 common areas where the HSV1 or HSV2 virus can go; oral, genital, on your hands and in your eyes.

In your 20's your 4th of July should be spent having fun with friends at the beach. Having just gotten diagnosed with herpes you won't believe how I spent my 4th of July. Spoiler alert there was lots of crying over my herpes diagnosis.

This day 11 years ago was the worst day of my life, it was the day I got diagnosed with genital herpes. This was something I never saw coming. On today's vlog Alexandra shares her never told before story of what it was like in 2011 getting diagnosed with genital herpes.

Cure Advocacy is the only patient advocacy organization globally working towards the cure, treatment and prevention of Herpes. They exist to empower both patients and healthcare providers to learn to advocate for themselves and to know that change is possible! Visit www.herpescureadvocacy.com to receive your copy of the Herpes Cure Pipeline 3.0 - a comprehensive resource of all clinical trials for new therapies for HSV.

0:00 Introduction
02:00 Can herpes be serious
04:40 Are you going to have serious consequences because of herpes 06:07 Why herpes hasn't got enough attention to develop a cure or vaccine
11:24 Cure vs. vaccine and the development
18:28 What's holding up the research and better treatment of herpes virus
20:04 Is it really the big pharma that do not want a cure for herpes
23:00 HIV & AIDS vs.
Herpes 29:00 What can you do help with the herpes cure
34:19 How the world is starting to change towards herpes
37:00 Any last words from Herpes Cure Advocacy

When I was first diagnosed with herpes I'd wondered what life with herpes would look like for 11 years. At the time, I didn't think that a happy life was even possible. I mean, I had herpes. In today's video I walk you through what it's like living with herpes 11 years later.

If you've just been diagnosed with herpes you have herpes questions. So Alexandra's answered the top FAQ's in today's vlog.

She talks about that waiting period of wondering if your herpes results are going to come back positive or negative. There are so many ups and downs that lead you down a rabbit hole of questions.

Now it's Tuesday and I know something is wrong. This is the same day as it was eleven years ago. By now the blisters had fully shown up and I was in unbelievable pain. I felt so sick and could not imagine what was going on. Today was supposed to be just a regular physical but instead it turned into the day to go to the doctors and get a resolution.

Being diagnosed with herpes in 2003 is very different than being diagnosed with herpes in 2022 . The major difference is the ability to find resources and educate yourself because back in the early 2000's it was even more taboo than now.

Alexandra shares her point of view from 2003 till today in 2022. There are three things that really stand out.

Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.
This year in 2022 falls on the same days of the week as in 2011. I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 11 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Reconnect so that you know you are not alone.

When we hear about herpes or are diagnosed with herpes we automatically think we have to use a condom or some type of protection for the rest of our life.

I've had a lot of you ask me about my story and how did I get pregnant and was I worried about transmitting it to my husband.

Monolaurin is becoming more and more popular among people looking for a healthy lifestyle. Coconuts and palm kernel oil are almost the only source of it, apart from human breast milk. Later telling us how important actually is for humans.

Monolaurin has the ability to break the outer shell of enveloped viruses, meaning it can actually help us fight those viruses way better and faster. And since herpes is one of the enveloped viruses, it can do a lot for our immune system in that sense.

Before getting herpes or a STD/STI I was terrified of getting one, especially herpes. I mean look at what the stigma says about people who have herpes. They are disgusting, they have slept around, they are whores that got this because they did something wrong and now they are paying for it and it can go on and on. Obviously I don’t beige this stigma and neither should you.

Your dating life is not over now that you have herpes. Promise!!! Having herpes or not rejection happens and that’s okay and it’s part of life. I disclosed to guys that I was interested in and got rejected, I also disclosed as way to get out of having sex and that totally backfired and then I’ve disclosed and it’s been no problem.

I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. That doesn’t sound like it was too long ago and that we haven't had to many changes but really, when you think about it we’ve had a ton of technological changes. Let me take you back to 2011. There was google, but it wasn’t what it is today. There was Facebook and Instagram, but neither had the impact that they have today. So what I’m trying to say is that there wasn’t the information out there that there is now. When I googled herpes, or who had herpes back in 2011, the only information that came up was something very sterile from either WebMD or Planned Parenthood that just gave the facts about herpes but didn’t help with the stigma. I think I logged off feeling worse about myself than when the doctor told me about my diagnosis.

Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we’re going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you’re contagious all the time and you’ll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true.

With herpes being so common it’s actually rare to find someone without it. I hear time and time again from people who are just diagnosed with herpes, or if they haven’t processed their herpes diagnosis, say that their partner should go find someone without herpes. Or when a rejection happens the person is thinking that it's going to be way easier to find someone else without herpes.

It’s totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I’m so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it’s what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone.

Let me tell you a bit about my pregnancy. I went through IVF to have Clinton and I never had an outbreak during any of the hormonal treatments and IVF treatments to get pregnant. Then fast forward I don’t believe I had outbreaks in my first trimester but then in my second trimester, I started having few and then in my last trimester I had them back to back.

This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I’m sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn’t tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach.

There are times that I have had an outbreak and my husband and I have wanted to have sex. Whether it’s been when we are on vacation, or just because. With that being said, we’ve gotten creative and still had a great time getting between the sheets.

If you’ve just gotten herpes and you are in a ton of pain physically and emotionally, I know what you are going through. 

Sometimes when I look back I think it’s the physical pain that is the most. And then there are other times I think, no, it’s the emotional pain. Regardless they are both there and you are probably feeling something that you have never felt before. 

First of all, I want you to take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way but you will get through this. Remember, every storm runs out of rain. 

I’ve been getting lots of questions like; will sweat cause an outbreak, will friction cause an outbreak, will HITT cause me to get an outbreak, professional bodybuilders have asked questions about pre workout and so on.

Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.

One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life. 

Our biggest fear, once we’re diagnosed, is dating. It’s the fear of rejection, it’s the how do I disclose, do I need to disclose and so on. All of these feelings questions and emotions are valid and an important part of the herpes journey.

In this enlightening episode, delve into the intricate connection between the nervous system and the emotional impact of a herpes diagnosis. Discover how shame and societal stigma can influence our neural pathways, affecting not only our mental well-being but also our physical health. Join us as we explore strategies to heal and empower ourselves in the face of herpes stigma, nurturing a healthier relationship with our nervous system and our self-worth.

💚Learn more about Brainbased Wellness and get 2-weeks of free membership here:

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/brainbased-wellness

So yes, there are some things you can do to help manage your herpes outbreaks and/or feed your herpes outbreak. In other blog posts I talk about lifestyle, supplements and why people get outbreaks. So today I’m going to talk about foods that feed outbreaks and why.

Why me? This is something I asked myself for years. I would sit crying wondering why this happened to me. What did I do to deserve this? I couldn’t think of anything worse than getting diagnosed with herpes.

This is something that I felt was so important to put together and I really wish it was something that I could have walked away with when I was diagnosed. I wish that Dr. would have said, "there is this great online community called Life with Herpes and there is an Outbreak Toolkit that has everything you need to know about herpes.”

If your first outbreak was anything like mine you’re wondering like me: how people could not know they had herpes or at least something going on down there.

Recently on social media someone commented on my live and said that if I hadn’t been so promiscuous I wouldn't have gotten herpes.

There’s a lot of ways we can dissect this comment. Also, instead of going off on this man, I used it as a learning opportunity to talk about how promiscuity has nothing to do with.

This especially happens when you are first diagnosed with herpes. You hang up the phone from your doctor and then are like now what. Who do I talk to? What do I do? The worst thing is to start googling herpes and looking at the pictures. Eek! And then the second worse thing is to sit in your worry and let it consume you.

I just opened up my schedule and added more days. I’m here for you Monday - Thursday.

The herpes test is not included in the STI panel. So even if you’re a responsible sexually active adult and you ask your doctor for every STI test, most likely herpes will not be included in the herpes test.

Not including the herpes test on the STI panel is part of the problem on why there are so many people getting herpes, why so many people don’t know they have it and why we have a huge ugly stigma around people who have herpes.

👉Herpes diagnosis
Get a quick, confidential diagnosis here: http://bit.ly/herpalertdiagnosis (use promo code “lifewithherpes” to save 10%)

In case you don’t know it, I’m married and my husband does not have herpes!

This comes as a shock to a lot of people. I don’t think it’s the married part but the part that my husband doesn’t have herpes.

Personally I love the woodsy smell and this is something that I use daily. I use it out of the shower and always before going to bet. I live in Las Vegas so my skin is always needing some hydration and this lotion leaves myskin feeling silky and nourished. Not to mention I emotionally feel at ease.

So there are two types of herpes. Well, actually there are way more but in this setting we really only care about two types. Herpes type 1 and herpes type 2.

So what are the differences and why is it important that we talk about it?

In the tapestry of life, certain threads can lead us to unexpected places, challenging our perceptions and reshaping our understanding of self-worth, relationships, and societal norms. Lindsey Ellyn's candid revelation about her herpes diagnosis serves as a poignant narrative, weaving together themes of healing, faith, and the courage to break free from the stifling chains of stigma.

Lindsey's journey begins with the profound realization that her worth extends far beyond the label of a herpes diagnosis. It's a universal truth that beckons each of us to recognize the complexity of our humanity, with herpes being just one facet of the intricate tapestry of our lives.

Food is way more important than we think. It has to ability to heal your body or make you sick. This was something that I didn’t really realize until I was diagnosed with herpes. I mean I always tried to eat healthy and more or less I was healthy but it wasn’t until I got herpes that I completely turned myself around and started really caring what was going in my body.

This was the first product that we came out with. You guys were asking for something that was over the counter, natural and could help speed up recovery of an oral herpes outbreak.

Our organic, lip balm has ingredients known to treat herpes outbreaks, lessen inflammation and soothe your lips.

I was stuck in the Eeyore Phase for 2 years. It was awful, painful, yet something that I needed to go through.
With all that being said, I have no desire for you to go through this PTSD for 2 years and that is why I’ve created this community, platform and all the content.

Honestly, this is great news. This person really cares about you and is doing what he or she can do to try to prevent transmission. Transmissions occur less often when a disclosure takes place because the person with herpes can take precautionary methods to help avoid transmission. 

But here are 5 things you need to know about dating someone with herpes