Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye – Details, episodes & analysis

Featuring special guest Kelly from the Animanicast-- the world's biggest fan of the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney. Our favorite Disneyland rides. Mark wonders if this is like that "Alice in Underpants" movie he saw? We keep getting distracted by Brooke's kitty. Alice has more agency than a princess, but keeps getting gaslit, talked over, and shut down. Get better songs. 

Studio notes. This was a box office bomb. 

Alice's D&D character sheet.

We're all back and we are all celebrating our animal versions in the movie. The 1977 porn version? Mark wants to know why no pants? Mark has lots of weird hot takes on this movie. Disney almost goes bankrupt--again. The Princess Formula. Discussions about mice and duck genitalia. Mark's terrible prequel ideas. We promise next week we'll be better behaved. Why we're talking about Alice in Wonderland even though she's not a princess.

Brooke is going to guest on Yours, Mine & Theirs! Go check them out discussing movies that made Brooke!

Brooke loves Snow White. JB hates Snow White. Andy has lots of Snow White facts. Who will win? Feminism-- let's get some men in here to discuss it! Is this movie more problematic or secretly feminist? Walt Disney was essentially a crazy person. The old crone queen was the best. Also the crow. Rejected dwarf names. True love's kiss and consent. Disneyland ride remake. Dad Joke The Ride-- now with less racism! 

Are Disney Princesses actually getting less progressive? Article from Cracked: https://www.cracked.com/article_24452_5-ways-disney-has-actually-gotten-more-sexist-over-time.html

Andy's Dungeons & Dragons character sheet for Snow White.

This movie is hot garbage. Signed, Blade. On a Post-It note. The David Goyer rabbit hole. Who choked who? Racism? He had it comin'! Misogyny and tropes. Andy won't say the one line. Brooke will use that word, but only in romantic situations with Parker Posey. Rumors aside, Wesley Snipes seems to be a pleasant person now. What We Do in the Shadows and Wellington Paranormal. So many studio notes. 

Next week we start Disney Princesses with Snow White. Note: JB does not accept the spelling "Dwarfs."

Oscar talk! Wolfwalkers vs. Soul. Movie gift baskets. Top Pixar movies. Why we love Wolfwalkers. Anti-colonialism. Should we do a Cartoon Saloon Trilogy? (Secret of Kells, Song of the Sea, Wolfwalkers) Colonialism. Rick Santorum. Local Texas elections, police reform. In Memorium fails. Best Actor categories. Netflix pushed the wrong movies. The Academy Awards are an archaic system that perpetuates white supremacy. Oscar always rewarding things to make up for past snubs. 

We finally talk Blade 2 around minute 48. Nyssa is great, but why did she die? Will they/won't they dynamic. Nomak was in a boy band! JB is mistaken about the score. Soundtrack. How JB and Andy saw this movie for the first time. Editing movies in Utah. Vampire language. Donnie Yen. Honey Wagons. Parker Posey next week.

The box office. Studio notes. Why are we scared of old, veiny vampires? Best songs. Appropriate for children?

Welcome to Season 2! We're talking about Blade, the 1998 Wesley Snipes vampire Marvel movie. Reactions when this movie came out. The history of Marvel in movies. David Goyer. Wesley Snipes. Studio notes. Next week is Blade II!

SPOILER ALERT: the last 2 minutes of the episode we talk minor spoilers from last week's Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Sorry.

Listen to Black Men Can't Jump [in Hollywood]'s episode on Blade.

Content/Trigger Warning: racism, Apartheid, violence and abuse, especially towards children and animals. We're discussing Daniel Craig's first on-screen role as a Nazi Afrikaaner in the white savior drama The Power of One. This was a tough movie to watch. Unexplored female characters. White saviors. Misuse of Morgan Freeman. Great soundtrack tho. Can studio notes save this movie? Would we show it to children?

It's the penultimate episode of Season 1 as we wrap up Bond by asking, "What if Bond, but Charlize Theron?" Starting with Europe / Peter Schilling. Charlize Theron producing based on a comic book. "It cost $30 million and it looks like a million bucks." -- Andy.  

Is this a female Bond movie? Better than a Bond movie. The male gaze. The soundtrack and what is the theme song?

Next we transition from Bond to Blade with The Power of One.

Mark has a bone to pick with Andy and JB for being mean to SPECTRE. But first, Batwoman talk. Long tracking shots. Sam Smith. Should this have been two movies? This movie is so Extra. Blofeld is SUPER Extra. Lots of Hot Priest talk. A startling discovery on The Poseidon Theory that explains one of this film's most egregious flaws. Next week: Atomic Blonde!

We're distracted by our cameras. Vaccine showdown: Pfizer vs. Moderna! Cannibalism chat!  Armie Hammer is maybe just a psychopath. And a rapist.

The plot. . . was this just boring? Not Guy Ritchie enough. Thin characters. Weak villains. Low stakes. Andy still likes it! Why no sequel. LET CAVILL AND HAMMER MAKE OUT ON SCREEN, DAMMIT.

The chase scenes and 3 different special effects teams. 

We lost Andy for a minute but he's back. Seeing his "O" face. 

Production hell for this movie. Box Office. Studio Notes. 

Check out Mark on Yours, Mine, and Theirs talking about his movies that made Mark and The Crow Must Go On: movies where the main actor died and had to be replaced.