Kind Mind – Details, episodes & analysis

“To die each day to your certainties is to be reborn in wonder.”

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This talk was recording on October 20, 2024 at Speakeasy Spiritual Community.

We often think of life and death as opposites—life being everything, death being nothing.

This understanding overlooks the matrix of existence, where life and death are interwoven. Death is often a process—gradual, transitional, and even non-final.

And we experience metaphysical deaths throughout life: the death of youth, relationships, ideas, or phases of identity. In this light, we may discover the meaningful ways in which we are still dying to come alive.

In social psychology, Terror Management Theory (TMT) can explain how people’s fear of death paradoxically suppresses life and collectively drives many behaviors and cultural norms.

With death as the last taboo, groups may foster materialism, nationalism, or the pursuit of legacy and the upholding of social constructs as the means to symbolically "live on." Philosopher Ernest Becker’s “Denial of Death” contends that human civilization itself is largely an elaborate defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality.

(Music “Slow Movement in the Light” by Ethereal Ephemera)

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This episode examines contentment as distinct from happiness in its revelation being inward rather than outward.  Yet, the two concepts are often conflated and this contributes to the elusiveness of contentment.

The more one chases, the more elusive contentment becomes.  Living in a material-oriented culture that socializes individuals towards themes of progress, production, and perfection results in endless contingencies.

Hence, the price of contentment is everything and nothing. One may need to sacrifice all they were taught to believe about the meaning of life and success. On the other hand, if contentment is an inward discovery, then it is closer than anything can be.

(Music selection “Breathe” by Bing Satellites)

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Culture, at its essence, is like a game, where the collective beliefs, practices, and values of any two or more people overlay the tangible world, shaping perceptions and bidirectionally influencing behaviors.

Like the sum of all dreams, these shared impressions become the social fabric and the drama of humanity that we all navigate - guiding norms, rules, and identities that will continue to evolve according to our collective imagination.

I like to think of cultures as constellations, portraying each individual as a star within the societal cosmos. The connections we draw between these stars—due to our angle of observation, common locations, traditions, rituals, or treatment—form patterns that emerge as the recognizable outline of cultures.

Like the constellations in the sky, these social conventions are not inherent but are instead the product of human perception and interpretation, emphasizing the subjective nature of cultural construction.

Expanding this model metaphysically introduces a contrast between dominant and non-dominant cultural forces. I see a prominent space-oriented theme and the rigid cultures around divided land such as nations with controlled and defended physical territories.

Another theme involves fluid, time-oriented perspectives and frameworks around cycles, renewal, and culture as a way of relating - where past, present, and future are deeply interconnected.

Spiritual texts offer profound insights on the correction of perception which facilitates the undoing of fear and the transformation of love. The concept of cultural humility, with its emphasis on openness, learning, and empathy, aligns with wisdom teachings which call for a shift from judgment to forgiveness, and from fear to love.

Spiritual growth involves recognizing our shared identity beyond the superficial divisions of the ego. This mirrors an understanding of culture as "true-ish"—a construct that can guide but not define our deepest truths and connections.

Metaphors such as the dream tapestry or social constellations can help us navigate the complex social landscape and honor a balance between the world of forms and our underlying unity of being.

(Music "A Blanket of Japanese Violets" by Bing Satellites and episode artwork on podcast website)

Just some thoughts on purpose and connecting to the present moment. Conscious breathing can be an anchor. It is such a simple, enjoyable and timeless tool for remembering to be here now.

From a talk at Indian Creek Zen Farm.

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Even with all the comfort that advances in technology have bestowed, it does not seem that people, in general, have time to relax and fully connect. Communication breakthroughs have been achieved with a double-edged sword. With so much of our lives uploaded to the internet and our brains downloaded to the external hard drives of smart phones, the demands and work and hustle and distractions never end resulting in a trance of busyness.

Hence, loneliness in America and throughout much of the world has risen to epidemic proportions.

A national survey by Cigna Health revealed that more than half of Americans feel lonely and researchers have found loneliness to be the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per day and worse than obesity, in terms of health risk and premature death.

Though we may go on increasing our contacts - studies show that with each passing decade, the average number of close friends that one could count on in crisis continues to decline.

Which age group is the most lonely? The elderly of World-War Eras? Baby-boomers? Millennials? Though they all suffer high levels of loneliness among their respective age segments, the answer is Generation Z.

This is the most alarming statistic and means that children are growing up in a new paradigm of psycho-social distance and mental health risk. Young people report that though they may be surrounded by others, no one knows them very well. What we are lacking is depth of connection and hopefully mindfulness, meditation and a modern path to spiritual fellowship can become the next public health revolution.

"I would rather have 2 half-dollars than 100 pennies." -a smart kid

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We have transitioned to a new year. It is a symbol of letting go of the old and embracing the new. Traditionally, it is a time to live our better intentions and establish healthier routines. On a larger scale, we are now in the process of transitioning to a new decade. What have we learned about ourselves? What do we envision not only this year but in the upcoming decade? It is an opportunity to pause and consider the steps to a more beautiful life and world.

"Transition" can be a noun or a verb. As a noun, it refers to the process or period of changing from one state or condition to another. As a verb, it refers to causing such a process. Nature will script many transitions beyond our control - sometimes painfully. The nouns are set. If we willingly change and grow in the present - learning the art of transition each day - we will be ready. Ultimately, when our transitions are mindful, crossing over can be more of a celebration.

"To change with change is the changeless state." -Bruce Lee

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The lotus flower grows in murky ponds which is a metaphor for making life beautiful regardless of the circumstances. And its leaf sits on top of the water but does not get wet. I was amazed when I took a lotus leaf and dunked it in water and watched all the drops roll right off like little balls of mercury. So it grows in that water but is unaffected by it.

This episode explores the deeper meaning of significant symbols from cultures around the world and various spiritual traditions and how to find symbols in daily life to guide our mindfulness practice.

"A symbol is an important thing. That is why we chose an Aztec eagle. It gives pride...When people see it they know it means dignity." -Cesar Chavez

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Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful. This claim is supported by a recent social psychology study in which three groups of subjects were asked to rate the attractiveness of the same faces of strangers. Group 1 was given negative descriptors about the people they were looking at - like mean, cruel, etc. Group 2 was told nothing. Group 3 received positive descriptors of the same strangers - kind, honest, etc. Group 3 found the faces to be the most physically attractive, followed by Group 2 and then 1.

Knowing something about another's personality can actually change the way the brain perceives their physical features. According to evolutionary theory, our assessment of the fitness value of a potential social partner is a hybrid of physical and non-physical characteristics.

Science also suggests that kindness forms a virtuous feedback loop. Kindness generates happiness, and happiness motivates people to be kind. But there is a catch - intention matters. It does not work if you do something kind for others for the sake of becoming happy or gaining something in return. This is known as "strategic kindness" and only yields pleasure as opposed to "altruistic kindness" which means without the desire for a reward and leads to real happiness. fMRI studies reveal that separate regions of the brain are activated for each kind of kind, putting the "true" back in altruism.

Most spiritual traditions emphasize love for all and to be of service to others. The needed energy and enthusiasm arise quite naturally as a result of meditation and leading a more contemplative life.

"To a wise one, the whole earth is open - because the true country of a virtuous soul is the entire universe." –Democritus

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Mindfulness involves paying attention to aspects of the present moment with openness, curiosity and flexibility. Mindfulness practices have been shown in clinical trials to reduce pain by an average of 57% and even much more in many cases. This podcast episode explores the significance of pain, how mindfulness helps and what to practice.

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Surveys reveal that audiences cannot tell the difference between musical compositions written by humans and those by artificial intelligence and often rate the AI compositions as more "inspiring" and "soulful."

However, there are some timeless principles for how to appreciate beauty, such as those elucidated by the heavily Buddhist-influenced yet culturally endangered Japanese aesthetic of Wabi Sabi. Perhaps the outlook is more critical than the outcome. By mindfully tuning to the reality that nothing is perfect, nothing is complete and nothing lasts - we can experience more freedom, acceptance and a deeper sense of spiritual wonder for the unfolding of the drama of it all.

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