Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friendship Advice for Kids (K-8) – Details, episodes & analysis

Ep. 71 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with a Hot-and-Cold Friend

Tali is trying to figure out whether a friend who runs hot-and-cold–sometimes kind, sometimes unkind–is really her friend.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- How does a close friendship differ from a casual friendship?

- Why do you think kids sometimes stick with a not-so-kind friend?

- What does it mean to you to be a “Steady-Warm Friend”?

- Everybody makes mistakes. How would you decide if a friendship is worth continuing after a friend does something you don’t like?

- What are some ways you could use good communication to handle a friendship rough spot or conflict?  

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 1 - Naomi, age 7: Friendship ends over small thing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-1

Ep. 67 - Paul, age 12: Choosing good friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/paul-age-12-choosing-friends-who

Ep. 15 - Evie, age 9: What is a close friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-15-evie

Ep. 70 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Sending and receiving Stop Signals

Owen asks about Stop Signals, which are all the verbal and nonverbal ways people tell someone to stop. Sending and receiving Stop Signals effectively can protect a friendship!

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why are Stop Signals important for protecting friendships? (Hint: What could happen if you want a friend to stop doing something, but you don’t say anything? What could happen if your friend gives you a Stop Signal and you ignore it?) 

- Describe a time when a friend asked you to stop doing something. How did you feel about being asked to stop? How did you respond? 

- Describe a time when you wanted a friend to stop doing something. How did you handle it? How did your friend respond?

- Why do you think kids sometimes ignore Stop Signals?

- What are some things you could do if you ask someone to stop but they don’t listen? 

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 41 - Tessa, Age 9: Friends won't listen to stop or no https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tessa-age-9-boundaries

Ep. 18 – Kai, Age 9: Friends call him bossy https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 61 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with being excluded.

Brothers and sisters can be a lot of fun, but sometimes they’re hard to live with. Lucy wants to know how to fight less with your brother.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think it’s sometimes harder for kids to get along with a sibling than a friend?

- When a kid does something that annoys us, it’s tempting to do the same thing–or something worse–right back to them. Why is this usually not a good idea? (HINT: Why do both kids lose in a “contest” of who can be meanest?)

- Dr. Friendtastic said “If you’ve asked a sibling [or other kid] to stop two times, and they haven’t listened, they’re probably not going to listen,” so your goal should shift “to taking care of yourself.” How could you do that?

- Do you think it’s easiest to be an only child, an oldest sibling, a youngest sibling, or a middle sibling? Why?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 30 - Michael, Age 10: Why do some kids push others around?

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-30-michael

Ep. 31 - Mila, Age 10: When someone tries to be annoying

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-31-mila

Ep. 40 - Vihan, Age 6: Friendly brother also acts wild

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/vihaan-age-6-friendly-brother-acts-wild

Ep. 60 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with being excluded.

What should Henry do when a kid invites his friends to play but not him?

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think kids sometimes exclude other kids?

- Have you ever felt excluded? What happened? How did you respond?

- Why is it not a good idea to beg or bribe another kid to include you?

- What do you think of the rule “You can’t say someone can’t play”? Are there any situations where it’s OK to exclude someone? What could you do if someone was wrecking the game, being too rough, or refusing to follow the rules? How could you handle it if lots of kids wanted to play a game that’s only for a few people?

- Being “the boss” can be fun and exciting. What could someone do to be a “good boss” or a true leader? (Hint: What could a leader do or not do to make the people who are getting directions feel good?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 4 - Thomas, Age 13: One friend feels left out

Ep. 8 - Blake, Age 11: Excluded by friends

Ep. 39 - Maya, Age 8: Replaced by a friend’s new friend

Ep. 59 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dumping a friend or working things out by changing the dance.

Jessie wants to get out of some painful relationships.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever wanted to end a friendship? What happened?

- In your own words, how would you explain this comment from Dr. Friendtastic? “I don’t believe people can be poison [toxic]. What I do believe is that sometimes people get into patterns of interacting that are hurtful for one or both of them.”

- How is a friendship like an old-fashioned dance, where people hold onto each other? What are some ways you could change a friendship dance if you didn’t like what was happening?

- Why is it not a good idea to suddenly stop talking to a friend, with no explanation?

Ep. 58 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Safety first

Keara wonders what to do to keep a friend safe.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever been in a situation where you thought a friend was in danger? What happened? How did you handle it?

- What are some reasons why kids sometimes do things that are unsafe?

- Safety is important, but sometimes kids can be too careful, meaning they don’t want to do things if there’s even a tiny possibility of danger or discomfort. What do you think would be an example of being too careful? How could being too careful be a problem?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Preventing dangerous situations is usually easier than dealing with them after they’ve happened.” Do you agree? Why or why not?

- Why might standing near a teacher or a group of friends be useful for preventing problems with someone who is acting too rough?

Ep. 57 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: The upside of disagreements.

Zen wants to know how to avoid conflicts, but what if conflicts are sometimes helpful?

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Describe a conflict you had with a friend. What happened? What was your friend’s point of view and what was yours? How did the conflict affect your friendship?

- Dr. Friendtastic says that conflict can be a way for friends to learn about each other. What does that mean?

- When might it be a good idea to give in and do what your friend wants, even though it isn’t exactly what you want? When is it NOT a good idea to do this?

- Why is it important to try to understand what a friend is thinking or feeling? (Hint: What could happen if we just insist on what we want?)

- What are some things you can do or not do to make conflicts with a friend less painful?

Ep. 56 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Showing openness to friendship.

Diego wants to know what he can do to make friends.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time when you had to make new friends. What did you do? How did other kids respond?

- Why does Dr. Friendtastic emphasize trying to make friends with kids who like to do the same things you like to do?  

- Why do you think some kids only want to be friends with the most popular kids? What are some possible problems with this approach to friendship?  

- What do you think it means to show that you’re open to friendship? What are some ways to do this? What actions would signal that you’re NOT open to friendship?  

- Why is it a good thing to invite someone to get together with you, even if they say no, they can’t because they’re busy? (Hint: What message do you give the other kid with your invitation?)

Ep. 55 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: How saying no can save a friendship.

Blaire feels bad about saying no to friends. How can she think about things differently?

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time you had to say no to a friend. What happened? How hard or easy was it for you to say no? How did your friend react? 

- Why is it important to say no to friends sometimes? How can saying no help a friendship? How can NOT saying no sometimes hurt a friendship? 

- Why do you think kids are sometimes nervous or uncomfortable about saying no to a friend? 

- What could you say if a friend is disappointed or annoyed when you say no? 

- When is it okay to say yes to a friend, even if it’s not exactly what you want?

Ep. 54 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Showing up for friends the way they want.

Dimitri wants to what he can do to support a friend who is dealing with hard times.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a hard time you’ve been through. What kind of support from friends did you find helpful (or not helpful) during that time?

- How could giving advice hurt a friendship?

- What does Dr. Friendtastic mean when she says that your friend knows best what kind of support they need?

- Why might listening be a good way to support a friend who is going through a hard time? 

- What could you do to support a friend who doesn’t feel like talking about their problems?