Discover why finding your identity in Christ isn't about changing your behavior—it's about knowing Jesus, and letting Him redefine who you are. In this episode, get a sneak peek at what’s inside Juli’s new book as she shares four identity traps that keep us stuck.

Co-host: Joe Caruso 

Follow-up Resources:

Preorder your copy of "Surrendered Sexuality" and get a FREE devotional! 

Follow Authentic Intimacy

Follow Joe Caruso 

What’s the most important thing about you? Get ready—this episode will challenge what you've always believed about yourself. Listen in as Juli shares why our identity must be rooted in who God says we are—not in our past, our “purity,” or our pain. 

Co-host: Joe Caruso, @joecaruso06

Follow-up Resources:

Join our email list to stay in the know about all things related to Juli’s upcoming book, “Surrendered Sexuality.”

Pre-order “Surrendered Sexuality” today!

We’ve talked about the fact that many women struggle to ‘flip the switch’ and enjoy married sex, and we’ve talked about what might contribute to that. But we haven’t talked about what husbands can do to help their wives enjoy sex.

Juli shares a conversation from Gary Thomas’ Podcast where she was a panelist alongside Debra Fileta and Belah Rose.

Host: Gary Thomas

Featured Speakers: Dr. Juli Slattery, Debra Fileta, MA, LPC and Belah Rose

Gary’s Website: garythomas.com

Gary’s Newsletter: garythomasbooks.substack.com

Book: Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta, MA, LPC

Book: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery

Book: God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

Juli’s Website: authenticintimacy.com

Debra’s Website: debrafileta.com

Belah’s Website: delightyourmarriage.com

Please support Joy and Zack Skarka on GoFundMe

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

There are so many challenges that come with leading a church well, especially when it comes to how to express their stance on Biblical sexuality. Many want to be a place where people can wrestle with the truth about God and sex and figure things out, while also being sure to prioritize biblical orthodoxy. How can they do both?

Pastor Evan Wickham, from Park Hill Church in San Diego, joins Juli to share lessons he’s learned and what his church is doing to lead biblically with clarity and love.

NOTE: We had some technical issues with recording this episode, but wanted to make sure you got to hear a great conversation--thanks for being patient with us!

Guest: Evan Wickham

Park Hill’s Instagram: @prkhllchrch

Evan’s Instagram: @evanwickham

Park Hill’s Website: parkhillsd.church

Join our email list!

Blog: Has God Changed His Mind About Sex?

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Historically, inside and outside the church, male sexuality has been talked about as a purely orgasm-driven experience.

But is it possible we have oversimplified the male sexual experience? What if there’s more to the way men think and feel about sex than we’ve previously considered?

 Dr. Corey Allan joins Juli for a very different conversation about male sexuality.

Guest: Dr. Corey Allan

Corey’s Website: smr.fm

Corey’s Instagram: @sexymarriageradio

Resource: Purity Culture Failed Men Too

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Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

As we work to change the purity narrative and undo many of its effects, we have to look at some of the continued harm it does to marriages. There’s still so much missing in the way Christian couples are taught about marital intimacy.

How can Christians celebrate the gift of sex that God gave in marriage?

Juli shares a conversation she had with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, where he shared both what is missing and what is needed in the church when it comes to talking about the beauty of sex in marriage.

Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau, Institute for Sexual Wholeness

Institute for Sexual Wholeness

Book: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner

Book: A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Douglas E. Rosenau

Podcast: #543 How the Old Testament Reveals God’s Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love

Transcript

00:00 - Introduction to Christian Sexuality Conversations

03:14 - The Church’s Perspective on Sex in Marriage

16:26 - Understanding Female Sexuality and Mutual Pleasure

29:13 - Nuancing Gender and Desire in Sexual Conversations

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

One of the biggest criticisms of purity culture is the way it reduced sexuality to a list of do’s and don’ts, but there are lots of other reasons millennial men and women report feeling burned by it.

Dr. Camden Morgante, author of “Recovering from Purity Culture”, shares some of the harmful narratives that formed the movement, and provides some alternative approaches to discussing sexuality.

Guest: Dr. Camden Morgante

Website: drcamden.com

Instagram: @drcamden

Book: Recovering From Purity Culture by Dr. Camden Morgante

Free Resource: Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity

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Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Purity Culture

02:13 Camden’s Personal Journey and Professional Insights

05:58 Understanding the Harm of Purity Culture

09:52 Navigating Sexual Awakening in Adolescence

13:58 The Importance of Teaching Values

15:57 Dating Dynamics and Courtship Culture

22:08 Modesty and Its Misinterpretations

25:07 The Role of Patriarchy in Purity Culture

30:54 Steps Towards Healing and Wholeness

39:03 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

If questions about sex lead to questions about God, it’s important that we know and follow Jesus as He really is.

Rick Lawrence, author of “Editing Jesus”, joins Juli to discuss how many American Christians make Jesus into an image other than Himself.

Guest: Rick Lawrence

Rick’s Website: ricklawrence.com

Book: Editing Jesus: Confronting the Distorted Faith of the American Church by Rick Lawrence

Join our email list!

Guide: “3 Reasons Questions About Sex Lead to Questions about God”

Timestamps

00:00 Understanding God and Sexuality

02:50 The Journey to “Editing Jesus”

06:11 Confronting Cultural Misunderstandings

08:57 The Mud Puddles of Scripture

11:57 The Hard Sayings of Jesus

15:12 Intimacy and Relationship with Jesus

18:02 The Challenge of Self-Centeredness

21:01 Joy vs Happiness in Faith

23:49 The Role of Suffering in Growth

27:01 Practical Steps to Know Jesus

29:52 Conclusion and Resources

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

In this special Q&A episode, Juli answers your questions about sex and marriage. You’ll hear answers to questions like, why did God make us sexual when it causes so much pain? Does sex matter in marriage? And, is it possible to be too focused on sex in marriage?

Join Juli and Hannah for a brief exploration of good biblical theology on sex and marriage.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com

Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz

Blog: Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage

Blog: Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

How can women overcome fear and shame around their bodies and embrace the beauty of God’s design for sex?

Whether from purity culture, other messages, or poor experiences, many women don’t see their bodies and sex as good or beautiful. Francie Winslow, host of the podcast “Heaven in Your Home” went through her own struggle with this, and joins Juli to explain how she is learning to embrace the goodness of God’s design.

Guest: Francie Winslow

Website: franciewinslow.com

Instagram: @franciewinslow

Strong Foundation To Starting Well: Claiming A Healthy Vision For Married Sex

Pleasure & Orgasm: Passion & Practicals Of A Wife Receiving Pleasure

Java with Juli: #550 What to Do When Sex is Painful

Join our email list!

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

When a marriage is in crisis, it can be hard to know what the next step should be. Is divorce the only option? Are there other steps available that couples often miss?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family, joins Juli to talk about some of the options couples can explore.

Guest: Dr. Greg Smalley

Focus on the Family Website

Java with Juli: #489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First

Java with Juli: #519 Why we Need to be Better at Caring for Divorced People in the Church

Blog: Why and How to Pursue a Healing Separation

Blog: Is Divorce the Right Answer?

Become a member!

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

It’s reported that 20-30% of marriages have a higher-desire wife and lower-desire husband.

This means that while many women may wish their husbands requested less sex, there are also many women who experience the opposite. For the woman who wants her husband to want sex a little more, Sheri Mueller, LCPC, author of “I Want Him to Want Me”, joins Juli to share insights, wisdom, and encouragement.

Guest: Sheri Mueller, LCPC

Sheri’s Website: marriagetrac.com

Sheri’s Instagram: @growthtrac

Book: I Want Him to Want Me by Sheri Mueller, LCPC

Blog: Why Christians Need to Care About Sex

Missed last week’s episode? Listen to it here.

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Want to raise faithful and loving kids in an LGBT-affirming world? This episode is one you can’t afford to skip. You don’t have to choose between truth and love—this conversation will equip you to give your kids both. Grab your Java and join us! 

Guest: Rachel Gilson 

Follow-up Resources:

Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World by Rachel Gilson

Java with Juli  #312 Born Again This Way: Rachel’s Story (AI Members Only)

Sign up for our email list and stay in the know about all things happening around Juli's upcoming book, Surrendered Sexuality.

What secret are you keeping?

Many of us keep secrets to protect ourselves. But secrets also hide us from others. They can prevent us from being fully known and fully loved.

Jason VanRuler, author of “Get Past Your Past”, joins Juli to share some insights about secrecy and why it’s worth us living in the light.

Guest: Jason VanRuler

Website: jasonvr.com

Instagram: @jason.vanruler

Book: Get Past Your Past by Jason VanRuler

Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Sexual pain makes sex challenging, stressful, and a source of tension rather than a source of pleasure. Sadly, it’s a very present reality for many couples, and one that can quickly erode sexual intimacy for years or even decades.

Many women are told to ‘watch porn’, ‘drink wine’, or ‘relax’, with no clear diagnosis found and no real solution given. Today’s guest, Jess Setiz, knows this reality all too well. Now a trauma-informed pelvic health practitioner, Jess struggled through painful sex for 8 years before she and her husband were able to find a solution that really worked. She joins Juli to share what she learned, and how she’s helping other women enjoy pleasurable, pain-free sex.

Guest: Jess Seitz

Website: painfreeintimacy.com

Instagram: @painfree.intimacy

Facebook Group

Java with Juli: #547 How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

Check out more resources on sex in marriage

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

How many men and women consume porn on a regular basis?

How common is porn use within the church?

How is porn affecting us?

Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, unpacks the surprising results of a recent study conducted by Barna on pornography use, and shares potential solutions.

Guest: Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries

Website: puredesire.org

Instagram: @puredesirepdmi

Beyond the Porn Phenomenon Report

Java with Juli: #542 A Pastor, His Porn Problem, and How His Church Restored Him

Missed last week’s episode? Click here to listen to it!

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

What does it take to have good friendships, healthy family relationships, or a strong marriage?

John Van Epp, creator of the RAM theoretical model, has some strong and well-researched ideas about what it takes to make your relationships stronger than ever.

Guest: Dr. John Van Epp

John’s Website: lovethinks.com

Book: Endgame: The Church's Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America by John Van Epp and J.P. De Gance

Book: Becoming Better Together  by John Van Epp

Website: ramseries.com

Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It

Learn more about online book studies

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Turns out, the stuff we haven’t dealt with from childhood shows up ... right in the middle of our relationships. Sit down with Juli and Dr. Dan Allender as they discuss why we must be willing to explore our own stories in order to create safety, nurture curiosity, and repair what’s broken.

Guest: Dr. Dan Allender

Follow-up Resources:

The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender

Java with Juli #169 Your Wounded Heart (AI Members Only)

Join an Online Book Study!

We spend a lot of our marriages thinking that “becoming one” means, "You'll become more like me. And once you become more like me, then we'll become one." Instead, what if you could say to your spouse, “I can love you just the way you are without having to change you.” If that’s the kind of oneness you want for your marriage (present or future), grab your Java and pull up a chair with Juli and Hannah.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz (@hannahnitz)

Follow-up Resources:

My Husband Isn’t My Best Friend (blog)

Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

AI is changing the game when it comes to pornography—and it’s becoming more addictive and more dehumanizing than ever. This episode explores the impact of modern porn, including its ties to fantasy, gaming, and a distorted view of connection. If you or someone you love is navigating this journey, there is hope!

Guests: Jonathan Daugherty & Joel Warneking

Follow-up Resources:

• Join an Online Book Study! 

• Hot Topic Kit: Porn in Marriage (for AI Members)—not a member, get it here.

• Gateway to Freedom Intensive Workshop

• 423 Communities, 423 Podcast

The relationships you struggle with the most? This episode is for those. Juli sits down with Bible teacher Jada Edwards to share stories about the ways they’ve fallen short when it comes to loving others, and how God has transformed their understanding of what it means to love the way He does. (Spoiler alert: Sometimes the best way to learn love is to start with the person who bugs you the most.)

Guest: Jada Edwards (@jada_edwards)

Resources:

Sign up for our email list and stay in the know!

Jada’s book: A New Way to Love Your Neighbor

How to Have Tough Conversations (blog)

Encountering the Radical Love of Jesus (blog)

AI Members Only: Why “Love Is Love” Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Ep. #401

Sadly, wrestling with pornography addiction is increasingly commonplace. But how do people find pornography? And why do they keep going back to it?

In the final of this series revisiting Reclaim, Troy and Melissa Haas of HopeQuest, share their testimony and expertise around pornography addiction, and what it takes to overcome it.

Guests: Troy and Melissa Haas

Troy and Melissa’s Website: hopequestgroup.org/

Troy and Melissa’s Instagram: @hopequestgroup

Partner financially with Authentic Intimacy!

Resource: #549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Navigating the teenage years has never been easy, whether you’re the parent or the child. So as parents, how can you help your teenager or pre-teen have a better experience? What practically can you do to put them in a stronger position to navigate their teenage years safely, with more clarity about God’s love for them and design for their sexuality?

Three guests – James Talbert, Josh Miller, and Chelsey Nutgren – join Juli to share some much-needed practical advice for raising surrendered kids in our current cultural moment.

Guests: James Talbert, Josh Miller, Chelsey Nugteren

James’ Website: Citizens Akron

Josh’s Website: Riverwood Chapel Akron

Website: AXIS.org

Website: Center for Humane Technology

Resource Series:

1. Blog: Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How

2. Blog: 5 Reasons You’re Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them)

3. Blog: Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids

Find out more about donating to Authentic Intimacy.

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

James 4:1 so famously writes, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?”

It’s not surprising that marriage is a hotbed for conflict. When you live so closely with someone else, it’s easy to see their flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes in high definition.

So what can you do to stop constantly fighting?

In this special session from Reclaim 2024, Brad Rhoads shares what helped cut fighting and elevate fun in his marriage.

Guests: Brad Rhodes, Grace Marriage

Brad’s Website: gracemarriage.com

Brad’s Instagram: @grace_marriage

Blog: Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder

Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

What if God asks you to surrender not because of what He wants to take from you, but because of what He wants to give? Grab your Java and listen in as Juli shares the core message of  her new book, “Surrendered Sexuality.”  

Follow-up resources:

Watch on YouTube

Preorder your copy of “Surrendered Sexuality”

Register for the Launch Party!

Follow us at @authenticintimacy

Instead of shutting it down, what if you could meet your needs for touch, intimacy, and opposite-sex friendships in ways that honor your sexuality? (Spoiler alert: you can.)

If you’ve wrestled with desire, boundaries, or shame, this candid conversation will help you see the God-given purpose of your sexuality—even when you’re single.

P.S. This is one you’ll want to share with your single friends.

Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau

Don’t miss your chance to win a $200 gift card: take the Java with Juli Survey. 

Follow-up Resources:

Single & Sexually Whole: Soulfully Celebrating the Dance of the Sexes by Dr. Doug Rosenau

Sex & the Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery

In this episode, author Kimberly Haar opens up about surviving a violent abduction and assault at the hands of her ex-husband. With unflinching honesty, she recounts the night her world shattered—and how faith, forgiveness, and Christian therapy helped her rebuild her life. 

Guest: Kimberly Haar

Take our Java with Juli survey and enter to win $200! 🎉

Follow-up Resources:

Healing from Life’s Deepest Hurts by Kimberly Haar

Jackie Hill Perry and Laurence Koo tackle some of the most pressing questions surrounding faith, sexuality, and discipleship. No small talk here—just honest answers about the reality of same-sex attraction, the cost of following Jesus, and the beauty of surrender.

Whether you're a pastor, parent, friend, or someone personally navigating LGBT questions, this is a must-hear conversation.

Guests: Jackie Hill Perry & Laurence Koo

Follow-up Resources:

Become a monthly donor and get a free copy of Surrendered Sexuality! Or, buy your copy here.

Follow Jackie Hill Perry at @jackiehillperry

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

There are always differences in relationships – differences in culture, differences in family of origin, differences in communication and conflict style – but what if you and someone you love just think differently? The thing is, while we may live in a world designed for neurotypical people, the world is full of people who are neurodivergent; those of us who process, learn, experience and interact with the world in ways not considered typical.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kelli Willard joins Juli in an enlightening episode of Java with Juli as they talk about why a broader understanding of neurodiversity is so important when it comes to building strong and healthy relationships in marriages and in families.

Guest: Kelli Willard, LMFT

Kelli’s Instagram: @love_all_the_brains

Kelli’s Practice: Love All The Brains (Note: Kelli is not accepting new clients at this time)

Book: Neurodiverse Couple Therapy: A Practical Guide to Brain-Informed Care

Blog: The Challenge of Grace

When did it become normal for us as a culture not to like men? In this episode Juli’s guest is Nancy Pearcey, esteemed scholar, and author of “The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes”. She joins Juli to discuss the roots of toxic masculinity, what it means to be a good man, and how to combat the negativity around what it really means to be a man. 

Guest: Nancy Pearcey

Nancy’s Twitter: @NancyRPearcey

Nancy’s website: nancypearcey.com/

Book: The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes by Nancy Pearcey

Book: Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions about Life and Sexuality by Nancy Pearcey

Book: Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity by Nancy Pearcey

Blog: Manhood on a Razor's Edge

Blog: Resign As Boss: How To Help Your Husband Lead

Book: Finding the Hero in Your Husband

Image by Brooke Cagle via Unsplash

Did you know that on average, each year, around 463,634 Americans are victims of sexual assault? That’s a heartbreaking statistic, and it reveals a very real source of pain and trauma in contemporary American culture. What causes people to commit sexual assault? Is there a way to stop it? Dr. John Foubert joins Juli to discuss some of the reasons these numbers are so high, and what can and needs to be done to prevent sexual assault from happening.

Guest: Dr. John Foubert

John’s Twitter: @JohnFoubert

John’s website: johnfoubert.com/

Book: Protecting Your Children from Internet Pornography: Understanding the Science, Risks, and Ways to Protect Your Kids by Dr. John Foubert

Book: How Pornography Harms by Dr. John Foubert

John’s Non-Profit: One in Four

Book: Unwanted by Jay Stringer

Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT)

Java with Juli: #334 What Your Pastor Needs to Know About Porn

Blog: Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

How do we teach kids that God made their bodies and that He made their bodies good? Are there creative and intentional ways to connect with kids and help them develop a Biblical theology around their bodies?

In this episode, Juli connects with her friend Francie Winslow, a mother of six on a mission to imprint upon the hearts of her children the beauty of God’s design of their bodies and vision for their sexuality.

Guest: Francie Winslow

Francie’s Instagram: @franciewinslow

Francie’s Website: franciewinslow.com/

Podcast: Heaven in Your Home

Album: Heaven in Your Home Family Music

Blog: 5 Reasons You're Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and  How to Overcome Them)

Java with Juli: #460 How to Have Mini and Many Conversations About Sexuality With Your Kids

While it may be the case that many people view marriage as a periphery issue, Juli’s guest, Pastor John McGee, argues that the way we love one another in marriage is one of the ways in which our faith is truly evident — “Marriage teaches us about the gospel, and the gospel teaches us about marriage.” Tune in to today’s episode of Java with Juli to discover some of what is missing in common teaching on marriage, and how leaning into the truth of the gospel equips us to love better, not just in marriage, but in all our relationships.

Guest: John McGee

John’s Instagram: @johnkmcgee John’s Twitter: @johnmcgee

Website: Re|Engage

Book: God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

Blog Post: What's the Purpose of Marriage?

Java with Juli:  #430 Marriage Can Be Hard, Here's Why the Work Is Worth It

Check out our Spanish resources here!

Is there a difference between a bad relationship and a harmful one? How can you spot the difference, both in your own relationships and those of your friends and family? 

Join Juli and Dr. David Clarke as they discuss how to recognize abuse patterns of behavior, how to set boundaries, and when necessary, how to get out and create safety elsewhere.

Guest: Dr. David Clarke

Website: davideclarkephd.com/

Book: Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God's Help

Focus on The Family Christian Counselors Network

Java with Juli: #372 How To Recognize Domestic Abuse

Blog: How Do I Know If I'm in an Abusive Relationship?

If you’re a husband or wife who finds sex dull or monotonous, it may be time for you to revisit the way God designed marital sex. The truth is that God desires for you to enjoy building sexual intimacy with your spouse, not just endure it. In this podcast episode, Juli and guest Dr. Jennifer Degler talk about how God gives the gift of sexual play to couples, and the practical (and fun!) ways you can connect with your spouse.

Guest: Dr. Jennifer Degler

Jennifer’s Instagram: @drjenniferdegler

Jennifer’s Websites: jenniferdegler.com cwives.com

marrieddance.com

Book: authenticintimacy.com/god-sex-and-your-marriage-workbook

Java with Juli: #234 We Can Do THAT in the Bedroom?

Blog: What's OK in the Bedroom?

Is it possible your view of singleness and marriage is less than Holy? Is it possible to find contentment, not in whether we are single or married, but in Jesus Himself? Juli and Sam Allberry discuss the dignity of singleness, finding contentment in Christ, and the key to true friendship.

Guest: Sam Allberry

Sam’s Twitter: @SamAllberry Sam’s Instagram: @SamAllberry

Sam’s Website: https://samallberry.com/

Sam's Book: 7 Myths About Singleness

Java with Juli: #450 Breaking the Marriage Idol

Book: Rethinking Sexuality

When it comes to discussions around sex, historically the church has stayed quiet. As more and more pastors, authors, and psychologists within the church begin writing and talking about sex, the challenge becomes how to make these discussions accessible, nuanced, grace-filled, and Bible-based. In this episode, Juli speaks again with author and pastor Joshua Butler, as together they examine the challenges surrounding talking about sex from within the church.

Guest: Joshua Butler

Josh’s Instagram: @joshuabutlerphx Josh’s Twitter: @butlerjosh

Josh’s Website: https://joshuaryanbutler.com/

Book: Beautiful Union: How God's Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything

Java with Juli: #462 Beautiful Union: How Our Sexuality Reveals God’s Heart for Covenant Love

Blog Post: When Cancel Culture Invades the Church

What if sex and gender are not as arbitrary as many people tend to think? Is it possible that God has woven holy significance into our very DNA as gendered, sexual beings? In this episode, Juli sits down with author Joshua Butler to talk about his book, “Beautiful Union”, and the ways we can see God’s gospel message evidenced in everything from the beauty of a sunset to our own sexuality.

Guest: Joshua Butler

Josh’s Instagram: @joshuabutlerphx Josh’s Twitter: @butlerjosh

Josh’s Website: https://joshuaryanbutler.com/

Josh's Book: Beautiful Union: How God's Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything

Join Juli for Second Cup

Java with Juli: #313 The Greatest Love Story

Blog Post: What's the Purpose of Your Sexuality, Really?

We’re moving from shame-based “sexual purity” to sexual integrity—the day-by-day journey of aligning your sexual choices with God’s truth. Whether you're single, married, or just asking hard questions, you’ll find hope in this episode. 

Co-host: Joe Caruso

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy today! 

Get your copy of Surrendered Sexuality.

Follow Authentic Intimacy

Follow Joe Caruso

Juli Slattery and Jonathan Pokluda tackle tough questions about how to find freedom from the sin that we hate, the difference between regret and self condemnation, and how the gospel is good news for all of us. 

Guest: Jonathan "JP" Pokluda

Show Notes:

Why Do I Do What I Don't Want To Do? by Jonathan Pokluda

Why Is Healing So Hard? (Juli's blog)

Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray

More from JP, #429 How to Find Love When Dating Has Changed (member exclusive)

How do you talk to young kids about sex? Keep conversations small and have them often. Justin and Lindsey Holcomb are back to share insights on talking to your kids about their bodies, God's design for sexuality, and the boundaries of healthy touch.

Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

Show notes:

Java #459 How Sexual Abuse Affects You (And Why God Is Still Trustworthy) with Justin and Lindsey

God Made All of Me by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

God Made Me in His Image by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

God Made Babies by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

Parenting Through Weakness (Juli’s blog)

Java #316 Sorry Mom & Dad, the "Sex Talk" Doesn't Work (exclusive content)

"What happened to me wasn't rape." "I didn't stop it right away." "I shouldn't have been at that party in the first place." 

If you've ever had thoughts like these, about yourself or someone else, your definition of sexual abuse is too narrow. Join us to learn what sexual abuse is and what consent isn't. (And, if you've never been a victim of sexual assault, trust us, you know someone who has. This conversation is for you, too.)

Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

Show notes:

Join an online book study

Rid of My Disgrace by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

More resources from Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

In the last ten years, some 16 million women have stopped going to church. Are you one of them? Join us for a conversation about why we've been rethinking church—and why it may be time for you to go back.

Guest: Ericka Andersen

Show notes:

• Spring online book studies are open! Register here.
• A Reason to Return; Why Women Need the Church and the Church Needs Women by Ericka Andersen
• Church Is Good for You. It's Time to Go Back (Juli's blog)

Take the guess work out of your sex life and learn how to tell (or show) your spouse what feels good in the bedroom.

Guest: Dr. Corey Allan

Show notes:

Apply to join the Coaching Intensive for Wives Struggling with Sexual Pain

The "Passionately Married Podcast" with Dr. Corey and Pam Allan

Java #407 Masturbation: The No.1 Question You're Asking Us (exclusive content)

Masturbation: Is It Wrong? (en Espanol) (Juli's blog)

What's OK in the Bedroom? (Juli's blog)

Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers (Juli's blog)

Five Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm, and Intimacy (Juli's blog)

The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner*

*Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.

Kia Stephens knows many women (like herself) who looked to the arms of other men for the affirmation they longed to receive from their fathers. You'll love her humor, wisdom, and vulnerability as she shares how she traded the pain of what her earthly father couldn’t give her for the perfect love of her heavenly Father. 

Guest: Kia Stephens

Show notes:

• Overcoming Father Wounds by Kia Stephens
• Take the Father Wounds Quiz
• Leave us a rating and review

Tired of having the same fight with your spouse—over and over again? Are you stuck in a place of shame or grief or bitterness? Juli sits down with Greg and Erin Smalley today to encourage you to find a Christian counselor to help you get, well, unstuck. 

Guests: Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley

Show notes:

God, Sex, and Your Marriage workbook, by Dr. Juli Slattery

How to Choose a Wise Counselor (Juli's blog)

The FOTF Network of Christian Counselors

Fight Your Way To a Better Marriage by Greg and Erin Smalley*

*Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.

For most of her childhood, Laura wanted to be a boy. In her 20s, she began hormone therapy, had surgery and lived as Jake for nine years. But she could never quite shake the feeling that none of it was real. "I remember looking at the photo on my driver's license and saying, 'I'm not as happy as I think I am.'" In this episode, Laura shares her remarkable story of desperation, hope and transformation.

Guest: Laura Perry Smalts

Show notes:

• Transgender to Transformed by Laura Perry Smalts*
• Java #396 Diverse Gender Identities: How to See the People Behind the Issue
• Java #397 How to Help Families Navigate Questions About Gender Identity
• Become an AI Member

*Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.

Are you sexually mismatched in marriage? Do you feel like you're in "drive" all the time while your spouse is in neutral (or putting on the brakes)? Here's good news: You're likely closer than you think. Join us to learn about the two types of desire, "receptive desire" and "initiating desire," and how to build a bridge between to the two.

Guests: Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Systma

Show notes:

Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma*

Dr. Sytsma's practice: Building Intimate Marriages

Join Juli for Second Cup

*Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.

Teen girls and LGBQ+ youth are experiencing more sadness, hopelessness, and violence than ever before. Join Juli and Dr. Mark Mayfield, an expert in suicide prevention, to learn what you can do to help the teens in your life feel seen, loved, and valued.

Guest: Dr. Mark Mayfield

Shownotes:

The Path Out of Loneliness Dr. Mark Mayfield

Help! My Teen is Self-Injuring (PDF)

Connect with your teen using tools from Axis.org*

From the CDC: U.S. Teen Girls Experiencing Increased Sadness and Violence

*Affiliate link. AI may earn fees.

If you’ve ever wrestled with how to reconcile your faith with your sexuality, or how God’s design seems outdated (or even unloving), this is an episode you can’t miss. Continuing in our theme of Surrendered Sexuality, Juli exposes the cultural narratives shaping how you think about sexuality — often without realizing it.

Become a monthly donor and get your free copy of Surrendered Sexuality today! Or, buy your copy here.