Explore every episode of the podcast Intimate Covenant Podcast
Dive into the complete episode list for Intimate Covenant Podcast. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
This episode is an excerpt from the live Q&A session at the 2024 Annual Marriage Retreat. We’re sharing our response to the following question: “Can you go into further detail on how the act of sex can glorify God?” We’re also sharing our responses to questions about sex toys, solo masturbation, modeling a healthy sexual relationship for your kids, and when to talk to your kids about pornography.
We also want to thank the sponsors of this year's Retreat:
Married Dance
Coconu
The Dating Divas
Honoring Intimates
Ginger & Peach
Ultimate Intimacy
Show Her Off
The Adventure Challenge
J. Parker
Please support these affiliate companies that support Intimate Covenant:
Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.
Coconu — https://www.coconu.com Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/ Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market. Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT"
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the complaint, "My spouse never initiates sex." So, whose job is it, anyway? How can I get my spouse to initiate more often?
Whether it’s sexual connection or any other aspect of your relationship, if you sense a lack of it in your relationship, it’s up to you to initiate what is missing.
If you feel like you are the only one initiating, keep striving. But, recognize — with gratitude — that your spouse may be contributing a whole lot more to your sexual and emotional relationship than what you immediately recognize.
Responders, you can learn to initiate in ways that are comfortable for you and this effort will speak volumes of love to your pursuer.
What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? If you’ve been married for more than 5 minutes, you recognize that you and your spouse see sex differently. Our intention with this eCourse is to challenge you to think about your sexual relationship in ways that you might not have ever considered before. We want to facilitate deep introspection and fruitful conversations between you and your spouse to help you build intimacy and oneness.
Make Better Connections We all suffer occasions when our attempts to connect are ignored or rejected. This course will help you make better connections in your marriage — emotionally and sexually. Learn to pursue and respond to your spouse with passionate, irresistible vulnerability
Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to keep your relationship and your sex life from freezing over during the busy holiday season.
Protect your spouse. Make sure they know that you’ve got their back. Approach your extended families with an “us vs. them” mentality.
Prioritize your spouse and your relationship. You absolutely MUST make time to continue to connect with your spouse, even at the expense of making others happy - even your kids.
Plan ahead so that you are prepared to overcome challenges to your sex life during this holiday season.
Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE! www.intimatecovenant.com/members
PS - If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an excerpt from a session of the 2021 Retreat, titled, "Submitting to one another -- do I know what my spouse really needs?" Learn new moves to help transform conflict into opportunities for growth and connection.
Real change starts by seeing my spouse more clearly -- empathy. See their circumstances, their struggles and their desires.
If I want change, I have to protect their space for change. I have to reward their vulnerability instead of punishing with judgement, criticism, or coldness.
Recognize that we need each other — interdependency. Begin to see conflicts as opportunities to grow & connect; opportunities to face life together.
Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE! www.intimatecovenant.com/members
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn continue last week's discussion about encouraging husbands to be leaders by specifically addressing spiritual leadership in the home.
Husbands are given the responsibility of overseeing the spiritual growth of the home and this responsibility is often shirked by many men. Many wives longingly desire to see their husbands grow into a strong spiritual leader.
Criticism and pressure are rarely effective ways to motivate a reluctant husband. Instead, be clear and realistic about your expectations, offering praise and gratitude as motivation.
Husbands, spiritual growth is in your best interest. If your wife is like most, your growth as a spiritual leader will exponentially improve your romantic and sexual attractiveness.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener question from a wife who wants to know how she can encourage her husband to be a better leader and more engaged in the relationship.
Sometimes, our disappointment with leadership is because we have unrealistic expectations. However, clearly many husbands are negligent in their role as head of their household.
If you are a wife, your best tool to encourage your husband to lead is to be a godly respectful supporter.
Don’t be afraid to hold each other accountable in the roles that God has given.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt and Jenn answer a listener question about making eye contact during sex. We'll also discuss ways to use eye contact to enhance emotional and sexual pleasure using eye contact.
Eye contact requires vulnerability, but increasing eye contact in your relationship - in and out of the bedroom - can improve emotional and sexual connection.
There may be reasons that we are seeking or avoiding eye contact during sex. This begs the question and conversation needed in your marriage, “What does eye contact during sex mean to me?”
If you want more eye contact, you must be a place for your spouse to feel safe enough to let you “see” them deeply.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode Matt & Jenn complete their series on overcoming common barriers to sex with discussion about work, travel (physical separation) and separate bedtimes.
Learning to identify and eliminate barriers to sex in our relationships requires honest introspection and humility. This process will improve our married sex lives, but also benefit every other aspect of your relationship.
Keep your job in perspective. No career or job is worth sacrificing your marriage over.
If you must be physically separated by travel, have a plan for how you will maintain connection while away from each other.
As much as possible, go to bed together. It’s better for your relationship overall and certainly better for your sex life.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss overcoming some more barriers to sex -- health, aging, screens and humor.
Learning to identify and eliminate barriers to sex in our relationships requires honest introspection and humility. This process will improve our married sex lives, but also benefit every other aspect of your relationship.
Since sex is so much more than joining genitals, we can still have pleasurable and deeply meaningful sex even if our body fails us.
Put down your screens and be willing to lean into vulnerable conversations. The risk and anxiety will be worth it for your relationship.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss how to deal with one of the most challenging barriers to sex ...kids.
Daily life often seems to get in the way, creating barriers that hinder our ability to enjoy the sexual connection we would like to have with one another.
Have an action plan to combat the barriers that interfere with your sex life! Learn to name your barriers, asking yourself “why?” these barriers exist, then share these barriers with your spouse. Be willing to hear their barriers too and then together discuss solutions.
Kids are a beautiful blessing and direct results of the sexual intimacy in your marriage. But, they are also a primary threat to the ongoing sexual intimacy in your marriage if you aren’t taking intentional steps to prioritize your covenant.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener's question about shifting roles roles in the pursuer/responder dynamic. But first, a few important announcements:
"Covenant Conversations" is the official name for the daily exercise formerly known as "Daily Check-in." Our thanks to Lamar Schrei for suggesting this!
Plan to join us for the 7th annual Marriage Retreat in Houston, TX — September 19-21. Registration opens on Valentine’s Day.
A shift in the roles of pursuers and responders is common in all relationships. Sometimes these role changes signal something detrimental to the relationship. Often they simply represent typical patterns of growth or seasonal shifts in the relationship.
In a healthy relationship, labeling who is the pursuer and who is the responder is far less important than making sure that there is frequent and healthy pursuit and response in all realms of intimacy.
Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the pitfalls of expecting our spouse to be a mind-reader and how to avoid the fight over sexual rejection.
Neither of you is a mind-reader. Each must be clear about sexual desires and expectations. Foster intimate conversation on all levels in your relationship.
Sexual rejection doesn’t have to result in a fight. Grace, empathy, and compassion are required for each to better understand what sexual rejection means to the other.
When there is greater intimacy overall, sexual rejection is less divisive. But, each of you should also examine how you can reduce the frequency of rejection.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the importance of creating a master bedroom that is a haven for you and your beloved. Also, we'll share crucial details to consider when choosing the best mattress for sex.
Prioritize your master bedroom. It should be a place of solace and escape with your beloved. Invest the time and effort into making it just that!
Your bedroom is your sex room. Create an atmosphere that helps prepare you emotionally, romantically, physically, and logistically for sex.
Deepen your sexual intimacy by decorating in a way that helps pleasantly engage all of your senses.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the special way that wives are asked to be submissive to their husbands. Specifically, we consider what this looks like in the sexual relationship.
Like we talked about last week, all are to be “submissive to one another,” yet, there is a special way in which wives are to be submissive to their husbands.
Submission must be defined and practiced in the way that the church is subject to Christ by fulfilling the precious role of womanhood with a “gentle and quiet spirit”.
In the bedroom, wives must be willing to engage in a shared sexual relationship by responding enthusiastically, serving her husband, and owning her responsibility to grow.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss what it means for a husband to be "head of the wife." And, how does this concept extend to the bedroom?
Before attempting to understand headship, I must first recognize my obligation to submit to all. Mutual submission is essential to every human relationship and crucially important between a husband and wife.
Headship is defined and exemplified by Christ’s headship of the church. This means that authority is the smallest part of headship, and only meaningful if exercised through complete self-sacrifice.
My role as a head when it comes to our sexual relationship is to love, protect, nurture and sanctify my wife — spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. My needs must come second.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how a wife can learn to balance her roles as both caregiver (Mom Mode) and lover (Lover Girl).
Most wives struggle to find balance between their roles as a caregiver and lover. But, a wife can learn to be both, at the same time.
Wives can access “Lover-Girl” more easily when they begin actively looking for sexual cues, learn to harness their husband’s sexual energy, and see the benefits of sex for themselves.
Husbands can help by offering and providing a place of retreat from the constant demands on his wife rather than presenting himself as just another need.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to bring your heart, soul, strength, and mind to the marriage bed. Plus, get a sneak peak at the theme and topics for the 2021 Marriage Retreat!
The focus of the 2021 Intimate Covenant Retreat is to renew our view of marriage as a spiritual endeavor and elevate our purpose beyond the day-to-day obligations of running a household.
Sex should be a place where a couple joins more than just two sets of genitals. Sex should be an opportunity to connect heart, soul, strength, and mind.
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how the betrayer can help in healing and restoration of the relationship.
If you have betrayed your spouse, you must humbly demonstrate that you feel the pain you have caused AND be willing to drastically change your behavior because of it.
Rebuilding a relationship after betrayal will require time and vulnerability on the part of the betrayer.
With betrayal, understanding the dynamic that led to the betrayal must be part of the healing and restoration of the relationship.
Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreat Don't miss the special offer for referring your friends!!!
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some research and statistics about how normal couples have sex.
Most married couples have sex between twice a month to twice a week, depending on which data you look at. Sexual frequency does decline with age, but older couples still have fairly frequent sex.
Nearly all couples have intercourse. Many also engage in oral sex and partnered masturbation.
Sexual frequency and sexual practices do not necessarily correlate with relationship quality. Ultimately, our sexual practices and frequencies should be determined by what is best for the oneness in our relationship, not driven by trying to be “normal” or “average.”
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener’s question about struggling to recover from an infrequent and unhealthy sexual relationship.
Struggles with sex in a marriage must not be ignored. Intervention and difficult conversations can save YEARS of suffering and shame; even save the marriage itself.
The fundamental criteria for a wife to want more sex or different sex, is that the wife must have the expectation of sex worth having.
The conflict of sexual frequency and/or sexual variety requires an ongoing conversation and a commitment from each to have as much connecting sex as necessary to promote oneness in the relationship.
ALSO, please vote on social media or by email to rename our Daily Check-In Exercise. Here's the finalists:
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge and encourage us to put in the hard work necessary to grow and expand our sexual relationship.
Believing that great sex just occurs spontaneously and effortlessly is actually preventing us from achieving good sex.
Great sex, like any other mastery, is the product of consistent, intentional work over time.
Take responsibility for your part in growing your sexual relationship. Then, commit yourself to learning, cultivating and expanding your sex towards greater oneness.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn consider guidelines that honor God and our spouses when talking to our friends about sex.
It is important for God’s people to be talking about sex in a positive and holy way. There is power in a community of believers sharing the beauty of God’s plan.
But, sharing intimate details about your personal sex life with anyone other than your spouse is a betrayal. Don’t do it.
Follow the lead of Scripture. There is a way to talk about sex that is wholesome and appropriate without giving away all of your privacy.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some of their favorite marriage and sex book recommendations.
Find good resources that encourage your marriage and share these with you spouse.
If you have trouble in your marriage, seek help from those capable of helping — spiritual mentors, church elders, and professional therapists.
If you are a leader, especially in your local congregation, strengthen your marriage. And, equip yourself to help other marriages by developing a biblical view of marriage and sex — good books or other resources can help.
Good Books for Leaders (but really for everyone)
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
General Marriage & Sexuality Books
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Cherish by Gary Thomas
God Loves Sex by Dan Allender & Tremper Longman III
Intimate Allies by Dan Allender & Tremper Longman III
Wives
Hot, Holy and Humorous by J Parker (also a blog by the same name)
The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire
PreMarital
Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal
9 Conversations for a Doubt Free Wedding by Gary Thomas
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer questions about using private masturbation as a way to help deal with sexual desire and arousal differences between spouses.
Any two individuals in a marriage will be quite different when it comes to sexual desire and motivations for sex. Our challenge is to recognize these differences and turn toward each other with empathy, humility, and service.
The purpose of our sexual relationship is to promote, accentuate and motivate the fullness of connection in a covenant relationship. We should be motivated to serve our spouse, learn about them, and grow together.
When we change the focus of sex to be primarily about pleasure, orgasm, or arousal (especially our own); then we miss the fulness of the sexual connection and the opportunity to benefit the whole relationship.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn tackle a listener's email question, "Should we tell our kids about the sexual sins of our past? How much should we share?"
Talking to your kids about sex must be an ongoing conversation so that they feel comfortable about the topic and that they see you as experts for sex and relationship advice.
Sharing your failings with your kids doesn’t make you less respectable, it makes you more relatable. It makes you more credible, especially if you are frank, honest and vulnerable in every aspect of your life.
In conversations with your kids about sex and your own failings, focus on the grace of God — His power and the beauty of His plan.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their personal struggles with marriage and sex. You won't want to miss this touching and vulnerable episode.
We want you to know that you’re not alone. We know brokenness. But we also know redemption, restoration and unity through the power of the gospel and God’s plan for marriage and sex.
We’re here to share that with you and to build a community for vulnerability and encouragement.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to carefully evaluate whether your sex routines are really the best way to promote connection.
Every couple has a sexual routine or script that they follow for most sexual encounters. But is your routine promoting the best sex and most connection for your marriage?
Start by busting the myth that sex starts with intercourse and ends with ejaculation. Make love all day, every day, by frequently connecting emotional and sexually.
Assess every stage of your sexual routine and determine if there is something that you can do to facilitate, enhance or extend your sexual script so that you are building oneness and maximizing pleasure.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or other group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the accomplishments of 2023 and look forward to opportunities in 2024 for Intimate Covenant. We encourage you to do the same for your marriage with a State of the Covenant conversation.
For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.
A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.
Please help support Intimate Covenant by sharing and rating the podcast. We would be especially grateful for you to join us on Patreon.
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
Matt & Jenn continue the discussion challenging wives to consider why they might be resistant to hot, holy sex in their marriage bed.
A wife may be resistant to sex because she is morally conflicted or is carrying shame from sexual sin or trauma. The answer is to allow your mind, body, heart and soul to be transformed by the blood of Jesus. Get the help that you need from God’s word and God’s people, including a professional counselor if needed.
Another reason why a wife may be resistant to exploring sex with her husband is that she feels insecure with the sexual boundaries of the relationship. Confident sex requires conversations about firm sexual boundaries.
A wife is uniquely capable of teaching her husband how to connect emotionally THROUGH sex. Commit to connecting emotionally within the context of sexual arousal.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn begin a discussion challenging wives' reasons for avoiding sex.
There are many good reasons that a wife may be resistant to sex in her marriage. But, a wife must recognize that the quality of your sex life will impact the quality of the rest of your marriage, and vice versa.
If you are saying no to sex because you are emotionally disconnected, intentionally prioritize your entire marriage relationship. Make the choice to connect daily — emotionally, spiritually, romantically, sexually…
Say “yes” sometimes, even when it’s inconvenient or feels vulnerable - THEN, commit to engaging your heart, mind, body, and soul. You might be surprised how enjoyable it could be when you let go of the control.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss reasons why a husband's sexual invitations may be rejected and what that might teach us about ourselves and our relationship.
Before protesting that you are being unfairly rejected, ask yourself, “Would I want to have sex with someone like me?” Have I met my wife’s needs before expecting her to meet mine? Have I made it easy for her to connect with me spiritually, emotionally and physically?
Some reasons your wife may be resistant to sex with you include:
She has a responsive sexual desire and is not naturally inclined to initiate
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the differences in how we access and express sexual desire. How do we handle it when one spouse seemingly wants sex more than the other?
In general, a man’s sexual desire is like a microwave (spontaneous) and a woman’s sexual desire is like a crockpot (responsive). Neither is right or wrong and neither is better or worse.
Empathize with your spouse’s position by offering grace, mercy, and understanding. Learn to embrace your own desire with contentment and enthusiasm.
Each of you has a role to play in building and maintaining a solid relationship and circumstances where eroticism and sexual passion can flourish.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss principles to guide the difficult conversation with your spouse about your sinful sexual history.
Healing begins with confession (James 5:16). If you want true intimacy, you must reveal yourself. Your intimacy is only as deep as your honesty.
Use great discretion about what facts or details you share with each other. This process is often best guided by a professional therapist or trusted spiritual mentor.
Acknowledge the pain and take proper steps to grieve and forgive each other.
Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in Spring, TX, September 23-25: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreat Take advantage of Early Bird Pricing until April 1 (no joke!)
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn talk about pre-marital sex and the impact it has on our marriage relationship and in the marriage bed.
Sex outside of marriage has consequences — whether it’s before or after marriage, with your spouse or with someone else.
Often (especially for women) these experiences cause barriers of shame which make it difficult to fully enjoy sex within the proper context of marriage covenant.
The shame of past sexual sin can be redeemed within intimate relationship through godly confession and meditation.
Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in Spring, TX, September 23-25: https://www.intimatecovenant.com/retreat Take advantage of Early Bird Pricing until April 1 (no joke!)
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to some listener questions about overcoming the disgust response in our sex lives — that unconscious grossed-out reaction that we might have to some forms of sexual activity.
Differentiate your sexual preferences from God’s sexual boundaries.
Disgust is a learned behavior and can be a significant sexual brake for those of us with a sensitive conscience. This becomes a problem in marriage when each spouse’s disgust levels are very different.
Accept that you can change your preferences over time and learn to enjoy all of God’s glorious gifts of sexual pleasure. You don’t have to absolutely love everything, but you can learn to find enjoyment AND CONNECTION in everything.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Sex should never be painful - emotionally, spiritually, or physically. In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some common problems that might cause sex to be painful for a woman and what you might be able to do about it.
There are a number of reasons why sex could be painful for women. Proper assessment and therapy by a doctor and/or physiotherapist may be required.
When sex is painful, the entire relationship will be affected. You must both be willing to communicate about it and be willing to find solutions so that your relationship can grow toward full intimacy.
The solution will depend on the actual cause(s) for your pain, but know that there is real hope to enjoy a full and extraordinary sex life, even if it’s painful now.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the two most common problems that occur for men in the bedroom, erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE).
If you want to function better with your wife, stop masturbating by yourself.
Do something about your sexual dysfunction! Your reluctance to deal with the problem is making your anxiety worse which is making the manifestation of your problem worse.
Take care of yourself: No smoking, drinking, or drugs. Get in better shape.
Talk to your doctor!
Take care of your relationship.
Sexual dysfunction is normal and common. Most of us, probably all of us, deal with problems in bed from time to time. Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Don’t be afraid to do something about it.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Today on the podcast Matt and Jenn compare the blight of mercy sex and the art of a quickie.
Stop settling for mercy sex. Don’t accept it. Don’t offer it. Sex is for connection, not just to use your spouse’s body or to be used.
On the other hand, a quickie is a great tool in a sexually and emotionally healthy marriage. A quickie can offer one or both of you a quick recharge and reconnection, even in the midst of busyness.
The best quickies happen when you both understand each other’s expectations and when you have made proper preparation. Sanctify even ordinary opportunities for sex in your marriage.
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
In this episode, Matt & Jenn are answering some of your questions! We love getting your emails -- keep them coming! It really helps us to know what you want us to talk about and how we can best help your marriage! Today we discuss a listener’s email that has several great questions included about female arousal, arousal aids, masturbation and more!
Embrace fantasy as a way to advance the plot in YOUR story. Harness sexual stimuli to fuel desire for your beloved.
Whatever means you are considering to help enhance your lovemaking, first be sure that you have drawn solid biblical boundaries regarding sex. Then, lovingly consider, “Will this encourage more intimacy and oneness in our marriage?”
Helpful reference: Married Dance -- a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid superstore that’s porn and nudity-free!
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some exciting news about what's happening with Intimate Covenant outside the podcast and we chat about what couples can expect from the upcoming annual marriage retreat.
1. THANK YOU! We’re deeply humbled by the success of the podcast. If our message has helped your marriage, we would be incredibly thankful if you would share, rate and review us on iTunes.
2. Registration for the Retreat opens on February 14 - Valentine’s Day
Challenging and informative sessions to build oneness in your marriage - spiritually, emotionally and sexually
Get-away for relaxation, fun, and focused conversation with your spouse.
Make new friends!
3. If you want to bring us to your community for a seminar, send us an email - let’s make it happen!
Shout out to our amazing website designers: Websites That Sell! If you need a new website, please contact brent@websitesthatsell
Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? at our website: www.intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
This week Matt and Jenn continue their discussion about setting godly expectations for marriage by asking, "Am I expecting too little for my marriage?"
In some marriages, one or both spouses are content to settle for “good enough” or “better than.” This is not a reflection of the quality of relationship that Christ demonstrated towards His Bride, the church.
A godly spouse must be willing to be held accountable. This requires humbly and vulnerability.
A godly spouse must also have the courage and determination to hold their partner accountable.
Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? at our website: www.intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
This week, Matt & Jenn ask the question, "Am I expecting too much for my marriage?"
One of the most harmful misunderstandings about marriage is when we behave and act like my spouse is given for the sole purpose to make me happy. As a result, we often expect too much from marriage.
It’s not wrong to want to improve your marriage relationship. But, it is wrong to first fail to acknowledge the ways that God has provided for you.
You will also continue to be disappointed if you expect that your spouse can solve your emotional, spiritual, and sexual problems. That’s your job!
Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? at our website: www.intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
Matt & Jenn discuss setting goals for your marriage in this New Year by asking the question, "What do I want from my marriage in 2021?"
Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God.
For 2021 (and everyday), ask the questions, “What do I want FOR my marriage?” “What more can I give to this covenant?”
Begin the assessment of your relationship with humility and self-reflection. Then, have a conversation with your spouse to determine what you can do for them and for your marriage.
Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? at our website: www.intimatecovenant.com
Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: podcast@intimatecovenant.com