Sometimes an argument about what happened five minutes ago carries the weight of something that happened 20 years ago.
But understanding where your pain comes from doesn’t give you permission to keep hurting the person you love.
In this episode of Initiated By God, I sit down with relationship expert, counselor, and author Love McPherson for an honest conversation about childhood wounds, marriage, boundaries, and what it takes to change the patterns we learned growing up.
Love opens up about how she once tore her husband down during arguments—and the boundary that made her recognize her own behavior.
We also unpack:
• Why familiar relationships can feel like chemistry
• The difference between supporting someone and carrying their responsibilities
• Why knowing your triggers doesn’t automatically change your behavior
• How faith and boundaries intersect when loyalty becomes harmful
• Learning to love your spouse through parenthood, grief, and aging
• Breaking patterns before another generation inherits them
This conversation challenged me, moved me, and brought us somewhere deeply personal.
Watch the full episode, and tell us: What relationship pattern have you had to unlearn?
Chapters:
00:00 Tearing Him Down
01:31 Welcome and Setup
03:45 Learning Love Early
07:50 Unlearning Conflict
11:06 Why Inner Child Matters
14:23 Amygdala Autopilot
19:41 Signs and Getting Help
25:59 Avoidance and Boundaries
32:50 Triggers vs Boundaries
36:02 Carrying Their Load
46:57 Toxic Loyalty Explained
48:10 Loyalty Becomes Toxic
49:49 Defining Real Abuse
50:20 Dating Your Childhood
57:09 Familiar Feels Like Home
58:39 When Peace Feels Wrong
01:00:20 Healing Versus Talking
01:01:54 Stop Building Partners
01:05:19 Inner Child Work Steps
01:11:24 Safety and Respect Needs
01:17:56 Marriage Seasons Change
01:24:05 Breaking Generational Avoidance
01:30:03 Legacy Before Loss
01:32:29 Boundaries Shift Marriage
01:35:45 Closing and Where to Find Book
Find Love McPherson and her book, Train Up a Child: Cutting to the Core to Heal Your Inner Child, at:
https://lovemcpherson.com
Instagram: @love_mcpherson
Subscribe to Initiated By God for more honest conversations about faith, relationships, and growth.
As always, stay initiated.
#InitiatedByGod #LoveMcPherson #Relationships
Host Jessica Laine-MacDonald:
https://www.instagram.com/itsjessicalaine/
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