Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back.
Andrew and Dawn refused to accept that this was just what love becomes.
Infinite Devotion is the podcast for people who want both. Deep intimacy and intense desire, with the same person, for a lifetime, in a way that gets better instead of fading. Not as a fantasy, but as something that is actually possible, and actually lived.
Andrew Reign draws from more than fifteen years of marriage to Dawn, years that started out intense and spicy, went all the way down into a dead bedroom and codependent silence, and all the way back to something even better. This is everything they walked through together to come out the other side into something neither of them knew was available. The lessons learned in that process have nothing to do with techniques or strategies. They have everything to do with who you actually are underneath all of the performing, what masculine and feminine energy actually are and why they matter, and what becomes possible when two people stop hiding and start showing up as themselves.
Dawn joins the conversation when she has something to say. Between the two of them, you get both sides of what this actually looks like from the inside of a conscious, fully alive marriage.
Each episode goes deep into the real causes of why love loses its heat, what it takes to bring it back, and what a relationship built on genuine polarity, embodiment, and devotion can become over a lifetime.
Andrew Reign is the author of the book Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime, and a coach and teacher who works with men, women, and couples on love, desire, and conscious relationship. The book, his coaching, and every episode live at infinitedevotion.com.
This is not relationship advice. This is what happens when two people refuse to settle.
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Marriage Is Dead, Long Live Marriage | Infinite Devotion Episode 157
Tuesday, November 10, 2026 • Duration 46:41
Why does passion fade in marriage? Why do two people who still love each other stop wanting each other? In this episode I answer both questions, and the answer is not what you've been told.
The passion didn't fade because of time, familiarity, or the kids. It faded because two people slowly went into hiding from each other. What was buried can be dug back out, and when it is, the sex and desire you had at the beginning come back on their own. You cannot force it, and you don't have to fix the relationship. This episode is for anyone in a sexless marriage, a dead bedroom, or a long-term relationship where the love is still there and the fire is gone.
This episode marks the release of my book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime. It's out now, in paperback, hardcover and Kindle: https://infinitedevotion.com/book
First, I pronounce the old marriage dead. For most of history, marriage was an arrangement with jobs to do: survival, property, a woman's only economy, the one approved place for sex and children, standing in the community, a promise to God. Every one of those jobs has been made irrelevant in a couple of generations. Then we tried building marriage on a feeling, and that version is dying right in front of us. If you grew up watching your parents and decided no thanks, you were reading the situation correctly.
Then I hand marriage back with a new purpose. You can have deep love and intense passion with the same person, in the same marriage, and it can keep getting better for the rest of your life. I've been with my wife, Dawn, for seventeen years. We went from a dead bedroom to a marriage that's hotter now than it was in our first months, and this episode is what we found on the way.
In this episode:
What marriage used to be for, and why every one of those reasons is gone
Why marrying for a feeling turns into two people abandoning themselves
The assumption that passion has to fade in a long relationship, and why counselors, date nights and scheduled sex don't bring it back
Our dead bedroom years: Dawn running to the door at the beginning, and the night I argued my case for her desire
The one question the old marriages never asked
Why the fire went underground, and why familiarity was never what killed it
The sex you want comes naturally, and you can't force it now any more than you could at the beginning
What seventeen years in looks like: more desire than the honeymoon, and still growing
Why commitment turned out to be the thing that made freedom possible
A word to the man whose wife doesn't want him, and the woman who thinks she has a low libido
Chapters: 00:00 Marriage is dead 02:35 What marriage was for 08:02 Marriage as a feeling, and why it fails 13:38 Our dead bedroom years 19:06 What the new marriage is for 22:44 The sex you want comes naturally 27:54 Long live marriage 38:15 To the man whose wife doesn't want him, and the woman told she has a low libido 40:01 Commitment, freedom and devotion 43:55 To three people 45:47 Where to get the book
About Infinite Devotion: I'm Andrew, author of Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime, and a coach and teacher who works with men, women, and couples on love, desire, and conscious relationship. My wife, Dawn, and I have been together seventeen years. Each week on this podcast we talk about masculine and feminine energy, polarity, embodiment, and how to keep both love and desire alive for a lifetime.
Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband? | Infinite Devotion Episode 156
Monday, November 2, 2026 • Duration 01:00:46
Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband?
"I wanted to want it more. I just didn't, and I didn't know what was wrong with me."
That's how Dawn describes the years her desire went quiet. This is part two of our series on desire in long-term relationships, and it's for the women. Last week was the man's half. This week Dawn and I get into hers: why her libido never actually died, what buried it, and what it has taken over the last five and a half years for her desire to come alive bigger than it was at the beginning.
In this episode we get into:
Why nobody has a dead libido, only a buried one
The lies Dawn believed: "low libido," the infatuation stage, and what a good marriage is supposed to look like
Desire as the pull, and why willingness is something else
The day Dawn asked what was standing between her and feeling turned on
Why slowing down is the first step, and who your body actually belongs to
The Madonna-whore split women run on themselves
The gasoline and the match, and the turn-ons hiding in the things you've judged
Being turned on by your own life
Why there's no technique, and what to do instead
Speaking up, rebuilding self-trust, and the day Dawn told me she wasn't turned on by my body
Next week's episode comes out Tuesday, November 10, the day my book Infinite Devotion launches. Get the first chapter free, sent to your inbox Sunday, November 8.
Chapters
00:00 Part two: her side of desire
02:11 Nobody has a dead libido
04:15 We never saw passion last
06:18 Even at the worst, her body kept telling the truth
07:34 The lies Dawn believed
08:58 Desire is the pull
10:21 Her sexuality ran through me
12:29 "My hand can touch you, yours can't"
14:19 Five and a half years, and why you can't rush it
Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me? | Infinite Devotion Episode 155
Monday, October 26, 2026 • Duration 54:38
Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?
Around 2014 I typed that exact question into Google. It started everything Dawn and I do now.
This is part one of a two-part series, and it's for the men. Dawn and I get into why the pull you felt at the beginning never actually died, how desire slowly turns into obligation, and why you can never talk a woman into wanting you. Then we get practical about the half of this a man can actually control.
Next week, part two: her side of it.
In this episode we get into:
What sex and desire were like at the beginning for us, and what that proves
The "infatuation stage" assumption, and why I refused to believe it
How wanting each other turns into trying to keep each other
Why there's no room for desire inside obligation
The night I lay in bed arguing with Dawn about why she should want me
Deciding to stop asking her to want me, and to become a man she actually wants
Choosing to stay, even if it never worked, and what that taught me about devotion
Dawn's honest take on how most men present themselves (she doesn't pull punches)
The low-hanging fruit: clothes, grooming, shoes, fitness, and getting your health checked
Whether you actually approve of women being sexual beings, and the Madonna-whore split
How enmeshment makes desire structurally impossible
Chapters 00:00 The question that started everything 03:11 What sex was like at the beginning 06:24 Where does the pull go? 08:40 The "infatuation stage" 11:03 Can you want what you already have? 12:29 From wanting each other to keeping each other 13:31 What changed in me 16:22 Desire is something she feels in response to you 19:16 Stress, money, and the man she stopped seeing 22:03 The half you can control 23:31 The night I tried to talk her into wanting me 26:54 Done asking, becoming a man she wants 32:07 Choosing to stay 34:04 Physical attraction matters 35:03 Dawn on how men present themselves 39:14 The easy stuff: clothes, grooming, shoes 41:11 How would you show up if you were dating again? 42:05 Get your health checked 43:11 Do you approve of women's sexuality? 45:09 The Madonna-whore split 49:36 She's a sexual being, and not only toward you 52:15 Enmeshment and your independent life 53:21 You can still have this
Marriage in 320 Square Feet | Infinite Devotion Episode 154
Monday, October 19, 2026 • Duration 58:54
Dawn and I have lived full-time in our RV for almost two years. We live together, work together, travel together, and do all of it in a house with four rooms, thin walls, and a garden hose for plumbing. When a man heard about this recently, he looked at me and said, "You must be really good people."
We like each other, which helps. Mostly, we've gotten good at navigating discomfort. In this episode Dawn and I talk about what close quarters actually do to a marriage: the space you can't get from each other, the noise you can't control, and what this life has taught both of us about meeting our own needs without making the other person the problem. Then we stick around for a game of "who's more likely to," which gets a little spicy.
In this episode we get into:
Dawn crying through a wave of grief five feet from me making breakfast, and why she didn't ask me to stop
Why the biggest challenge of a small space is emotional room, more than physical room
What happens to a marriage when the eight hours apart disappear
The weekenders, a 10 PM golf cart parade, and recording content with a remote control car outside the bedroom wall
Three nights of storms, a 300-mile tow, and the dent in the truck that reminds me not to drive exhausted
Hard water, Dawn's hair, and the real logistics of plumbing a house with a garden hose
The laundromat saga in Michigan's Upper Peninsula
Enforced minimalism, and why we still dress up in a campground
Dawn's one-word answer when strangers ask what we do for work
Who's more likely to: forget things, wake the other up, get sappy, speed, laugh at a funeral, and forget how thin the walls are
The recipe app Dawn and I built together
The Infinite Devotion book launches November 10
CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Marriage in 320 square feet
04:00 Why this episode, and the game coming at the end
05:14 The biggest challenge: room for your own energy and emotions
Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153
Monday, October 12, 2026 • Duration 31:37
Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153
Ask most men if their woman feels safe with them and the answer comes fast: of course she does, I’d never hurt her. That’s the floor.
Underneath it is a layer of safety almost no man accounts for, and it decides whether she ever truly lets go in his presence: whether she can tell him the truth.
People will lie to you unless they feel safe enough not to. In this episode I get into why hiding is the human default, why comfort and safety are two different things, and why the only man a woman can fully trust is one who tells her the truth when it costs him something.
In this episode we get into:
Martha Beck’s year without a single lie, and why losing her marriage, career, and home felt like “safety, safety, safety”
Why everyone you love has edited themselves for you, probably today
The layer of fear most women carry that most men never see
Comfort as the absence of friction, and safety as knowing where you stand
The arm test from Diary of a CEO, and how Dawn and I use it to find what’s true in our bodies
Why keeping the peace makes you untrustworthy, and why she can feel it even when she can’t name it
Leading by going first, and the one sentence that makes saying a hard thing possible
What it cost me to admit why I really started my old business
Why the man who can’t say the hard thing usually can’t hear it either
How the truth brings back the fire you had at the beginning
Where to start: a journal, a friend, and one thing you’ve been afraid to say
Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152
Monday, October 5, 2026 • Duration 01:11:06
Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152
I haven't had a guest on this show in over a year. I decided I'd only bring someone on if I really wanted to talk to them, and it took a year to find that person. GS Youngblood is the author whose books I've bought and given away more than anyone else's, and when he talks to men about relationships, you can hear that he has lived every word.
GS spent seventeen years in the tech industry before a divorce left him feeling like a failure and sent him looking for a better way. Twenty years of study, and a thirteen-year relationship with a woman who carries both a strong feminine and a strong masculine, became the laboratory for his Masculine Blueprint: three elements that, embodied daily, put a man back in his masculine core and let his woman feel safe enough to open.
In this episode we get into:
Why so many men run teams at work and fold the moment their woman gets upset
Respond versus react, and why good intentions vanish the second the fight starts
The little boy trying to get out of trouble, and where that "oh shit" feeling really comes from
"I may or may not be the problem, but I am the solution," and how to take full responsibility without drowning in blame
The trifecta of embodiment practice, therapy, and coaching
How to feel deeply without becoming the "emotional flow boy," and what it means to hold your emotions and share them judiciously
Logistical, emotional, and sexual leadership, and why all of it starts with inner clarity
What to do when she asks you to lead and then shoots down every attempt
The sentence his ex-wife said that took him years to fully understand: "I can do all this stuff. I just don't want to have to."
Strong spine, big heart
Holding her fire, setting a boundary without leaving connection, and the line between a hard truth and actual abuse
Why everything she feels is accurate to something, even when it doesn't match the facts
Why I'm Not Threatened When Other Men Want My Wife | Infinite Devotion Episode 151
Monday, September 28, 2026 • Duration 01:11:20
Dawn sat down with a list of questions and didn't tell me what was on it. We were both in tears within the first five minutes.
A few weeks ago I posted, "I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be free and choose to stay." On Facebook it reached over a million people, and plenty of them were angry. One said that giving a partner that much freedom will turn even the best person into a bully. Another asked if it meant Dawn was done surrendering. This episode answers both. It's also the first time I've told the story of what happened on a beach in Los Angeles seven months ago, when I asked Dawn to stand up.
We also get into why most men's ideas about leading are really about getting, what faith becomes once it stops being a way to avoid questions, and why male, man, and masculine mean three different things.
In this episode:
What we each love about ourselves and each other (it got emotional fast)
The beach in LA, and why I asked Dawn to stand before offering her a new symbol of her surrender
Dawn on finding her own wholeness and choosing to follow from there instead of from self-abandonment
Why freedom doesn't turn your partner into a bully, and why I don't set boundaries on what Dawn can do
Two sentences that make everything make sense: there are no contradictions, and check your premises
Why your body sometimes has to learn to trust you again before you can fully trust it
Walking out of Catholic education at 13, and what faith means to us now
Male, man, and masculine, and what actually makes a male become a man
Do I get a blowjob every day? (No. And the men who want one are giving themselves away.)
Why other men seeing and wanting Dawn doesn't threaten me
Marriage as a choice you make every single day
The teachers who've shaped me most, and the one I've learned the most from by far
Why I No Longer Have a Love Language (It Was Lying to Me) | Infinite Devotion Episode 150
Monday, September 21, 2026 • Duration 44:56
Everyone knows their love language. Couples quiz each other on it, therapists assign the book as homework, and it gets treated as the starting point of relational wisdom. In this episode I take the framework apart. Your love language is real, and it is telling you something true. It is a precise map of where your emptiness lives: the exact spot where your okayness depends on your partner's behavior.
I share my own story with words of affirmation, how the neediness underneath it played out with Dawn for years, and what finally filled the void that no amount of her words ever could.
In this episode:
What Gary Chapman actually got right, and where the prescription built on top of it goes wrong
What each of the five love languages confesses about where your self-abandonment lives
Where the emptiness comes from, and why your partner can never fill it
Three tests you can run tonight: joy or relief, what happens if they stop, and who you were really excited for when you found the quiz
How my collapse into neediness pressed on Dawn's oldest wounds
Why love from outside only ever lands on the performance
Inner child work: the only substance shaped like the hole
What love languages become when neither person needs anything
Have a question about this episode? Send it through the contact page at infinitedevotion.com and I will answer it on a future Q&A. Questions for Dawn are welcome too; she will take them on in a future Ask Dawn Anything.
If this episode was valuable to you, a five star review takes fifteen seconds and helps us reach more people. It is the only thing I will ever ask of you.
How To Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149
Monday, September 14, 2026 • Duration 48:27
How to Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149
In this week’s episode Dawn and I dig into a word I've used for years, one that keeps coming back to me from listeners, especially men: untriggerable.
This episode is about what that word actually means to us, why most people go about it the wrong way, and what it's really taken for us to get to the other side of the things that used to set us off.
In This Episode
Why the word "untriggerable" resonates with so many people, and why nobody wants to feel triggered in the first place
Why we can't discipline our way into being untriggerable, and why effort and force actually work against us
The real definition: being untriggerable means encountering the thing that used to upset us and having it not upset us anymore, not forcing ourselves to not react
Why we have to let ourselves get triggered, fully and repeatedly, instead of trying to shut the reaction down
The four survival responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one has shown up differently for each of us
Why the fawn response is likely the most common one in men, and how it shows up as the "nice guy" pattern
Why being untriggerable is never about the moment we're in, it's about what happens next time
How resisting a trigger keeps it alive, and why trying to talk ourselves out of a feeling is the same suppression that created the pattern to begin with
Gabor Maté's idea that trauma is self-inflicted, meaning the event is one thing and the ongoing suffering we build on top of it is another
How single-sentence beliefs get written in childhood, before language even exists, and how life keeps handing us "evidence" for them
Why it can take until your late 30s or 40s for these patterns to run out of road
The different way triggers show up for men and women: women often protect the physical body, men often protect the heart, and why understanding that difference matters more than fully relating to it
Why "your triggers are gifts" is true even though it hasn't felt that way to us in the moment
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148
Monday, September 7, 2026 • Duration 52:20
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148
Every Wednesday morning I get on a call with the men inside Becoming a Dominant Man and answer their questions. This time I flipped it and told them to ask me anything.
They did. What came back was a mix of the light and the heavy, which is how life actually goes. My bike. My sex toys, or lack thereof. What it actually takes to prepare for a nomadic life. How you get a dog to the vet without an address. And the friend who died at 38 a few days before this call, and what that did to my thinking about power exchange, plans, and time.
The heaviest question was the one about what makes me different as a dominant man. The answer is nothing, except that I've been willing to sit down with the seven year old who got picked on all day and let him say what he never got to say. Including the part where I admitted, out loud, that I still half believe nobody likes me.
In this episode:
The bike I ride and why drop bars saved my shoulders
Best and worst part of RV life (same answer for both)
Whether constant novelty kills novelty
My two biggest challenges building a 24/7 power exchange, and why life never gets in the way of it
Ten years of preparation, six months of purging, and the storage unit I now regret
Why community on the road is still the problem I haven't solved
Escapees mail service, Banfield, Discount Tire, and the unglamorous logistics of no fixed address
Abundance as acceptance, Carl Jung, and the two year old running most men's lives
Why a sailboat would be a hundred times harder than an RV
The only honest answer to "where's your favorite place you've been"
More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: Free resources: Instagram:
Details about Infinite Devotion, a podcast by Andrew Reign & Dawn
16:40 "When you come, I see God"
18:24 Why slowing down comes first
20:32 The same pull toward anything in life
22:44 Who does your body belong to?
24:42 When's the last time you pleasured yourself?
25:23 Communion and learning how to be
26:35 From wanting to obligation
29:54 Unwinding codependency
31:11 The Madonna-whore split women run on themselves
33:58 Capacity, orgasm, and letting go of control
35:10 The gasoline and the match
37:19 Your biggest turn-ons live in the shadow
38:04 Turned on by your own life
39:20 Acceptance, and learning to feel what you receive
41:19 There is no technique
43:58 If you're close to leaving, try staying
45:04 "I wanted to want it"
46:24 Hold the little girl on your lap
47:16 Let your emotions burn away the lies
48:26 When nothing in your life turns you on
50:29 Getting loud and rebuilding self-trust
52:11 "I'm not turned on by your body"
56:48 A woman's feelings are always accurate to something
58:46 Intimacy and intensity, together
59:25 The book, out November 10
Mentioned in this episode
Communion: six months home to your body, for women. Waitlist open now.
The Few: my six-month group for men. Waitlist open now.
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
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