Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back.
Andrew and Dawn refused to accept that this was just what love becomes.
Infinite Devotion is the podcast for people who want both. Deep intimacy and intense desire, with the same person, for a lifetime, in a way that gets better instead of fading. Not as a fantasy, but as something that is actually possible, and actually lived.
Andrew draws from more than fifteen years of marriage to Dawn, years that started out intense and spicy, went all the way down into a dead bedroom and codependent silence, and all the way back to something even better. This is everything they walked through together to come out the other side into something neither of them knew was available. The lessons learned in that process have nothing to do with techniques or strategies. They have everything to do with who you actually are underneath all of the performing, what masculine and feminine energy actually are and why they matter, and what becomes possible when two people stop hiding and start showing up as themselves.
Dawn joins the conversation when she has something to say. Between the two of them, you get both sides of what this actually looks like from the inside of a conscious, fully alive marriage.
Each episode goes deep into the real causes of why love loses its heat, what it takes to bring it back, and what a relationship built on genuine polarity, embodiment, and devotion can become over a lifetime.
This is not relationship advice. This is what happens when two people refuse to settle.
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Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152
Monday, October 5, 2026 • Duration 01:11:06
Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152
I haven't had a guest on this show in over a year. I decided I'd only bring someone on if I really wanted to talk to them, and it took a year to find that person. GS Youngblood is the author whose books I've bought and given away more than anyone else's, and when he talks to men about relationships, you can hear that he has lived every word.
GS spent seventeen years in the tech industry before a divorce left him feeling like a failure and sent him looking for a better way. Twenty years of study, and a thirteen-year relationship with a woman who carries both a strong feminine and a strong masculine, became the laboratory for his Masculine Blueprint: three elements that, embodied daily, put a man back in his masculine core and let his woman feel safe enough to open.
In this episode we get into:
Why so many men run teams at work and fold the moment their woman gets upset
Respond versus react, and why good intentions vanish the second the fight starts
The little boy trying to get out of trouble, and where that "oh shit" feeling really comes from
"I may or may not be the problem, but I am the solution," and how to take full responsibility without drowning in blame
The trifecta of embodiment practice, therapy, and coaching
How to feel deeply without becoming the "emotional flow boy," and what it means to hold your emotions and share them judiciously
Logistical, emotional, and sexual leadership, and why all of it starts with inner clarity
What to do when she asks you to lead and then shoots down every attempt
The sentence his ex-wife said that took him years to fully understand: "I can do all this stuff. I just don't want to have to."
Strong spine, big heart
Holding her fire, setting a boundary without leaving connection, and the line between a hard truth and actual abuse
Why everything she feels is accurate to something, even when it doesn't match the facts
The fear most women carry that most men never account for
Why I'm Not Threatened When Other Men Want My Wife | Infinite Devotion Episode 151
Monday, September 28, 2026 • Duration 01:11:20
Dawn sat down with a list of questions and didn't tell me what was on it. We were both in tears within the first five minutes.
A few weeks ago I posted, "I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be free and choose to stay." On Facebook it reached over a million people, and plenty of them were angry. One said that giving a partner that much freedom will turn even the best person into a bully. Another asked if it meant Dawn was done surrendering. This episode answers both. It's also the first time I've told the story of what happened on a beach in Los Angeles seven months ago, when I asked Dawn to stand up.
We also get into why most men's ideas about leading are really about getting, what faith becomes once it stops being a way to avoid questions, and why male, man, and masculine mean three different things.
In this episode:
What we each love about ourselves and each other (it got emotional fast)
The beach in LA, and why I asked Dawn to stand before offering her a new symbol of her surrender
Dawn on finding her own wholeness and choosing to follow from there instead of from self-abandonment
Why freedom doesn't turn your partner into a bully, and why I don't set boundaries on what Dawn can do
Two sentences that make everything make sense: there are no contradictions, and check your premises
Why your body sometimes has to learn to trust you again before you can fully trust it
Walking out of Catholic education at 13, and what faith means to us now
Male, man, and masculine, and what actually makes a male become a man
Do I get a blowjob every day? (No. And the men who want one are giving themselves away.)
Why other men seeing and wanting Dawn doesn't threaten me
Marriage as a choice you make every single day
The teachers who've shaped me most, and the one I've learned the most from by far
Why I No Longer Have a Love Language (It Was Lying to Me) | Infinite Devotion Episode 150
Monday, September 21, 2026 • Duration 44:56
Everyone knows their love language. Couples quiz each other on it, therapists assign the book as homework, and it gets treated as the starting point of relational wisdom. In this episode I take the framework apart. Your love language is real, and it is telling you something true. It is a precise map of where your emptiness lives: the exact spot where your okayness depends on your partner's behavior.
I share my own story with words of affirmation, how the neediness underneath it played out with Dawn for years, and what finally filled the void that no amount of her words ever could.
In this episode:
What Gary Chapman actually got right, and where the prescription built on top of it goes wrong
What each of the five love languages confesses about where your self-abandonment lives
Where the emptiness comes from, and why your partner can never fill it
Three tests you can run tonight: joy or relief, what happens if they stop, and who you were really excited for when you found the quiz
How my collapse into neediness pressed on Dawn's oldest wounds
Why love from outside only ever lands on the performance
Inner child work: the only substance shaped like the hole
What love languages become when neither person needs anything
Have a question about this episode? Send it through the contact page at infinitedevotion.com and I will answer it on a future Q&A. Questions for Dawn are welcome too; she will take them on in a future Ask Dawn Anything.
If this episode was valuable to you, a five star review takes fifteen seconds and helps us reach more people. It is the only thing I will ever ask of you.
How To Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149
Monday, September 14, 2026 • Duration 48:27
How to Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149
In this week’s episode Dawn and I dig into a word I've used for years, one that keeps coming back to me from listeners, especially men: untriggerable.
This episode is about what that word actually means to us, why most people go about it the wrong way, and what it's really taken for us to get to the other side of the things that used to set us off.
In This Episode
Why the word "untriggerable" resonates with so many people, and why nobody wants to feel triggered in the first place
Why we can't discipline our way into being untriggerable, and why effort and force actually work against us
The real definition: being untriggerable means encountering the thing that used to upset us and having it not upset us anymore, not forcing ourselves to not react
Why we have to let ourselves get triggered, fully and repeatedly, instead of trying to shut the reaction down
The four survival responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one has shown up differently for each of us
Why the fawn response is likely the most common one in men, and how it shows up as the "nice guy" pattern
Why being untriggerable is never about the moment we're in, it's about what happens next time
How resisting a trigger keeps it alive, and why trying to talk ourselves out of a feeling is the same suppression that created the pattern to begin with
Gabor Maté's idea that trauma is self-inflicted, meaning the event is one thing and the ongoing suffering we build on top of it is another
How single-sentence beliefs get written in childhood, before language even exists, and how life keeps handing us "evidence" for them
Why it can take until your late 30s or 40s for these patterns to run out of road
The different way triggers show up for men and women: women often protect the physical body, men often protect the heart, and why understanding that difference matters more than fully relating to it
Why "your triggers are gifts" is true even though it hasn't felt that way to us in the moment
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148
Monday, September 7, 2026 • Duration 52:20
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148
Every Wednesday morning I get on a call with the men inside Becoming a Dominant Man and answer their questions. This time I flipped it and told them to ask me anything.
They did. What came back was a mix of the light and the heavy, which is how life actually goes. My bike. My sex toys, or lack thereof. What it actually takes to prepare for a nomadic life. How you get a dog to the vet without an address. And the friend who died at 38 a few days before this call, and what that did to my thinking about power exchange, plans, and time.
The heaviest question was the one about what makes me different as a dominant man. The answer is nothing, except that I've been willing to sit down with the seven year old who got picked on all day and let him say what he never got to say. Including the part where I admitted, out loud, that I still half believe nobody likes me.
In this episode:
The bike I ride and why drop bars saved my shoulders
Best and worst part of RV life (same answer for both)
Whether constant novelty kills novelty
My two biggest challenges building a 24/7 power exchange, and why life never gets in the way of it
Ten years of preparation, six months of purging, and the storage unit I now regret
Why community on the road is still the problem I haven't solved
Escapees mail service, Banfield, Discount Tire, and the unglamorous logistics of no fixed address
Abundance as acceptance, Carl Jung, and the two year old running most men's lives
Why a sailboat would be a hundred times harder than an RV
The only honest answer to "where's your favorite place you've been"
More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: Free resources: Instagram:
Ask Dawn Anything: Your Fear Is What Drives Away What You Want | Infinite Devotion Episode 147
Monday, August 31, 2026 • Duration 57:22
We haven't done one of these in a long time, so we sat down by the fire and answered your questions. Yours, all 6,500 plus of you who follow along on email and social, and Dawn's own following too. This week is every safe for work question you sent in. The sexual ones, the kinky ones, those are coming soon to the paid platforms.
In this episode Dawn gets into:
How she handles getting emotionally dysregulated without asking me to fix her, and why "help me" used to be a crutch
Practicing trust and surrender when the future of your marriage feels genuinely uncertain
The fear of losing this connection, and why what you're actually afraid of is never what you think it is
Why "life gets in the way" is the wrong frame entirely, and what to do instead
Her advice for a younger dom sub couple trying to build something that lasts
How she handles public opinion, criticism, and being recognized in public
Her favorite version of me that almost nobody else ever gets to see
What she's had to unlearn about sex, marriage, and monogamy
What she thinks couples misunderstand most about staying alive to each other over the long haul
Our actual morning and evening routines, no filter
How I show up for her when she's sick
What to do when your partner's preferences don't match your needs, and how to tell the difference between a hard no and a freeze response
The words that actually comfort her when she's struggling, and why there's no perfect sentence a man can say
How she handles it when she feels like I'm dropping the ball, and why that question itself was worth taking apart
And the one we get asked every single time we do one of these: when exactly did she fall from heaven
All the NSFW questions, the sexual ones, the dirty ones, the kinky ones, will be coming in the weeks ahead on Dawn's OnlyFans and inside the Infinite Devotion Community. Keep an eye out.
Dawn's OnlyFans: Infinite Devotion Community:
How Good Can This Get? Leadership, Health, and Loving Her Body Better Than a Doctor Would | Infinite Devotion Episode 146
Monday, August 24, 2026 • Duration 01:03:20
This week we get into one of the most practical ways I lead in our relationship: taking ownership of our health optimization. It started with a routine idea to get full blood work done and turned into a discovery that Dawn's ferritin was at seven, that I have early markers for Hashimoto's, and that Dawn carries a genetic marker (lipoprotein A) that changes how her body handles certain fats.
Along the way we talk about what it actually means for a man to lead, why individualized data beats throwing darts at a dartboard, and how being cared for this deeply lands for the one receiving it.
A few things we cover:
Why circulating iron and ferritin are not the same thing, and why it matters
What a standard yearly checkup tends to miss
Using your own body's data instead of internet rules about "good" and "bad" foods
How health optimization becomes a place to lead, and to be led
Eat the chip
Function Health
We are not affiliated with Function Health in any way (yet, but if anyone from Function sees this...call me!) I just love what it's done for us and want to share it. They have a referral program that gives anyone who signs up an extra $25 discount, and gives us a $25 credit in return.
The Newest Version of You Is the Most Authentic One | Infinite Devotion Episode 145
Monday, August 17, 2026 • Duration 01:15:30
The first version of us you ever saw was the least authentic version of us you'll ever see. Same goes for you, if you’re doing the work and going inward in your life. Every new thing that surfaces as you shed conditioning is truer than what came before it, which means the person your partner is becoming is more real than the one they used to be.
Dawn joined me for this one, and we recorded outside by a lake in northern Wisconsin. Bugs, birds, wind, squeaky lawn chairs, all of it. Slowest, easiest conversation we've had on here in a long time.
What we get into:
Where we've been since April (Grand Canyon, Page, southern Utah, Moab, Yellowstone, the Black Hills) and why moving weekly burned me out
Why I've been pivoting away from the dominant/submissive framing, and why none of the teaching actually changes
The version of you that lives in everyone else's mind, and what happens when you stop matching it
What it means when someone else's life makes you think "how dare they"
Permission versus acceptance, and why permission can't be used as a tool to pry something out of your partner
Why intimacy and sex are not the same word
One year of adult content: what surprised us, what Dawn found in it, and what I'm still working out for myself
We'll probably do more of these outside.
If this one lands for you, take five seconds and leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify, or drop a comment on YouTube. It's the only thing I ask in return for everything we give away, and it's what puts this in front of more people.
Love and Sex in Relationships Can Be Easy | Infinite Devotion Episode 144
Monday, August 10, 2026 • Duration 55:17
Most couples who have been together a decade or two are not fighting. They are holding their breath. Somewhere along the way the relationship became a landmine map, a whole terrain of subjects you don't raise, tones you don't use, days you don't bring up money. Nobody signed up for that. It accumulated, one unhandled thing at a time, until the ground you could safely stand on got smaller every year.
This is part two of the abundance versus scarcity conversation, and it takes last week's idea straight into love, sex, and embodiment. Abundance is trust. Here is what that trust does once you put another person in the passenger seat, and why the couple who can find it is the one still laughing, still adventuring, and still having sex ten and twenty years down the road.
If you haven't heard part one yet, it stands on its own, but you'll get more out of this one if you go back to it after.
In this episode:
Why scarcity turns your partner from a person into a supply line to be secured and monitored
Two people, two brakes, one car, and why you both keep blaming the other for the fact that nothing is moving
The landmine map, how it forms without anyone deciding it should, and why it explains a fading sex life better than "we fell out of love" ever could
What abundance actually looks like in a man, why control is always the tell, and why he can lead, hold her, and hear a no without it landing as a verdict on his worth
Why a woman's nervous system reads a man's nervous system first, and why neediness pushes away the very desire it's reaching for
What abundance looks like in a woman, why the guard she built for good reasons is the thing standing between her and the surrender she wants, and why no man can install that trust for her
The shift from facing each other looking for threat to standing side by side looking forward at a life of possibility
Why "whatever happens, we'll handle it" is the most valuable thing a couple can own, and how it dissolves the landmine map instead of tiptoeing around it
The Mindset That Decides Whether You're Desirable | Infinite Devotion Episode 143
Monday, August 3, 2026 • Duration 42:25
This episode is Part 1 of a two part series on the single biggest factor I've found underneath what makes a relationship work or fail, and it has almost nothing to do with what you think.
Most people hear "abundance" and think money. I want to blow that idea open. Abundance and scarcity aren't financial categories, they're the lens your whole nervous system looks through before you make a single decision, and that lens is either quietly running your relationship, your body, your time, and your sense of what you deserve, or it's setting you free to actually live.
In this episode I get into:
Why abundance isn't about money, it's about trust
The image that changed how I think about this completely (a car with one foot on the gas and one on the brake)
A real moment from my own week where I had to trust instead of fix
Why people with the most money are often not the most abundant people you'll ever meet
Where this pattern shows up in your time, your capacity, your trust, your health, and your creativity
Next Monday in Part 2, I'm taking this same pattern into relationship specifically, why scarcity is quietly killing sex lives and making people undesirable, and why abundance is the thing that actually makes someone magnetic. Come back for that one.
Connect with us:
Podcast, blog, courses, and coaching: infinitedevotion.com
Dawn on Instagram: instagram.com/dawn.of.desire
Infinite Devotion on Instagram: instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Dawn of Desire adult content: dawnofdesire.net
CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Welcome to Infinite Devotion
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The book: Infinite Devotion comes out November 10. Join the email list at https://infinitedevotion.com to get notified when it's available!
How losing the scarcity makes money conversations, sex conversations, and honestly the whole rest of your life easier
An honest word on the in-between, why the first attempts to let go will feel reckless, and why that feeling is information about the size of the fear rather than proof you can't do it
The whole point in one line: love and connection do not have to be hard. Fear, control, and lack are what make them hard. Trust is what makes them easy.
If this one lands, a five-star review on Apple or Spotify, or a comment and a like on YouTube, is the single biggest thing you can do to help it reach more people.