Are you a leader holding back? What is that costing you? What if you could channel your fear and self-doubt? It’s actually possible. I know, because that’s my story. That’s what the Ignite Your Confidence podcast is all about. It’s for women in leadership who want to speak up and stand out. You’ll find both solo and candid conversations with real people sharing vulnerable stories to inspire you with simple tips to step into your confidence.
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In an ideal world, everything goes as planned. Everyone asks the questions you expect and nothing throws you. You and I both know this is not the case. Even for the most well-prepared moment, someone will ask a question or comment that derails your entire thought process, and you’re left with only one option: to think on your feet. Listen to this episode for tips on handling these circumstances with confidence.
Tangible Takeaways:
Ask these two framing questions when something unexpected occurs: ask, “what’s needed here?” and secondly, “what’s required of me.”
The key to thinking on your feet is being cognizant of those around you versus focusing on yourself. This information is vital for quick assessments!
If you tend to interject and react too quickly, create a mantra such as “stop, pause, breathe” that you say to yourself to stop yourself from speaking prematurely.
The best way to get better at thinking on your feet is to sign up for an improv class! Or have someone practice with you by drilling you with questions.
Create space for a “parking lot.” When something doesn’t quite fit into the discussion, move it into the “parking lot” and circle back to it at the end.
Some resources for you:
Want to see how you score as a confident communicator?
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
6 Tips to Influence Up & Advocate for Yourself at Work
Episode 167
Wednesday, May 21, 2025 • Duration 24:43
Influencing up is a critical skill to moving up in our careers. We need to be intentional and strategic if we want to be more visible for a new role, promotion or to attract any new opportunity. These six tips will help you get there faster.
Build credibility with consistent excellence Deliver exceptional results consistently to establish yourself as reliable and valuable. When leaders trust your work quality and judgment, they're more likely to consider your ideas and recommendations. Recognize that you have specialized knowledge or frontline insights that leadership lacks. Share these perspectives confidently.
Understand your leader's priorities and pressures Take time to learn what matters most to decision-makers above you - their goals, challenges, and what they're evaluated on. Frame your proposals in terms of these priorities to show alignment with their objectives.
Present solutions, not just problems When raising issues, come prepared with thoughtful recommendations and implementation plans. Leaders appreciate team members who think proactively and take initiative rather than simply escalating issues.
Communicate strategically Frame your ideas in terms of organizational goals and leadership priorities. Tailor your message to your audience's communication style. Some leaders prefer data-driven presentations while others respond to storytelling. Be concise, focus on impact, and anticipate potential questions or concerns.
Build genuine relationships before you need them Develop trust through reliability, thoughtful interactions, and demonstrating value in everyday work. Identify and nurture relationships with influential stakeholders who can champion your ideas. When multiple respected voices support your position, it creates momentum that's difficult for leaders to ignore. Connect with leaders on a personal level while maintaining professionalism.
Demonstrate emotional intelligence Read the organizational climate and timing carefully. Understand when to press forward with an idea and when to temporarily step back. Show empathy for the pressures leaders face while maintaining conviction in your valuable contributions.
How to Advocate for Yourself at Work
Episode 158
Wednesday, January 22, 2025 • Duration 16:00
On the phone with a distraught client last week, I was reminded of the assumptions we make and how doing this holds us back. The stress from these assumptions can put our stomach in knots - only to find out later the situation was a simple misunderstanding. You have to advocate for yourself if you want more opportunities.
Most of the time this stems from poor communication and doubting ourselves. A lethal combination.
We default to “my boss doesn’t respect me anymore” “she doesn’t think I’m cut out for this” or “I’m not enough for my boss even though I’m killing myself working 60-70 hour work weeks.”
Here’s my client’s story:
Julie (name changed), SVP, was told by her boss (C-level role, who she has a solid relationship with) that she didn’t want Julie on a project anymore (communicating via Slack).
Julie immediately thought her boss didn’t trust or respect her, and started ruminating:
“How could this be? She’s always praised me for my work. What is this about? Why is she doing this? Does she think I’m incompetent?”
Julie wasn’t going to address it (problem #1!) because of her fear of what she would hear.
In their next conversation, her boss revealed the reason she wanted her off that project: to give her greater visibility on a bigger project!
This was completely unexpected, and cleared everything up with a simple conversation.
Anything similar ever happened to you? And what advice would you offer Julie if this were to happen again?
Let’s look at some lessons from this.
We can’t control our boss’s behavior (saying that over Slack?! Come on, now), but we can control our own. At minimum, say something, such as “Hey, boss, what was your reasoning for taking me off that project?” or “help me understand your logic…” Before getting all tied up in knots with assumptions, address it head on. You’ll likely find out helpful information that clears a lot up before you go losing more sleep.
You Are Enough
Episode 68
Wednesday, June 15, 2022 • Duration 17:19
One thing I’ve discovered after coaching powerhouse women across industries, is that the feeling of not being enough is universal.
Listen and explore four tips on how to remember you’re enough. I share the importance of moving behind passive asks, connecting with your tribe and learning how to let go.
Tangible Takeaways
Before you ask for what you need, first KNOW what you need.
If you're not feeling enough, call in your reinforcements! Make connections with those you trust and who can speak truth back to you.
The comparison game isn’t one you want to play, nobody wins. Whenever it creeps in, take care of it quickly!
Make a list of things you can control, and things you can’t control. When you’re done, release what you can’t control.
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Have you ever realized that you missed an opportunity to claim your worth?
Maybe you accepted a salary too low or you missed out on getting promoted because you didn’t ask. Amy Valdivia and Rica Ruiz are two powerhouses who understand this deeply and share their stories and advice in today’s episode.
They will encourage you to do the deep work and invest in yourself because that’s where it all begins!
Tangible takeaways from today’s episode:
Find the root cause of your actions with someone you trust. You can change the narrative!
Stop making your life harder by believing the lie you have to always “work harder”. Work hard, but fight easy. Meaning: be excellent at what you do, so it is easy to speak up!
There’s no failure, only feedback
Write down everything you’re good at, and really look at it. Own your skills!
Remember, it does not have to be “all or nothing.” Rather, let it be “all or something”
About Amy:
Amy Valdivia is a California native. She enjoys life with her husband and two children. She’s a businesswoman with over 32 years in the mortgage industry. Today, Amy is an entrepreneur, speaker and author while running a branch for a nationwide lender supporting individuals and families to realize the American Dream of homeownership. Amy’s calling is to serve the community and wanted to do more than attending charity events. She and found the answer when she became a Certified Divorce Lending Professional. Amy supports divorcing couples and their attorneys alleviating one of the greatest areas of contention: the home financing.
Amy is a Board member of the Upland Chamber of Commerce and the San Antonio Hospital Foundation. She’s also an active member of Rotary International and Toastmasters International. As the 2019 Businessperson of the Year for the Upland Chamber of Commerce, Amy is credentialed as a FHA Direct Endorsement Underwriter, Certified Mortgage Advisor, Certified NLP Practitioner and a Certified Divorce Lending Professional.
How to Ask for What You Want
Episode 66
Wednesday, June 1, 2022 • Duration 19:45
I love talking about how to ask for what you want! This is one area if you get right, will transform everything. When you know how to ask for what you want effectively everyone involved receives clarity and the power to move forward.
In today’s episode I unpack the differences between passive and direct asks. I offer three examples of questions that FEEL direct, but are actually passive. In this episode I share with you moments in my past where I got this wrong and was caught up in the ring-around of passive asks, and I don’t want this for you!
Tangible Takeaways
Ask directly: make it super clear! Passive asks only confuse the matter.
Let them know what you want, and ask what steps are needed to get there.
Before you make a direct ask, figure out the W.I.I.F.M - what's in it for me? What’s in it for them?
A “no” can often be dealt with by asking, “what concerns do you have?” Maybe that “NO” can simply be repackaged as a “YES”
You will find more tips and tricks in my book, “Find Your Own Voice.” If you’re interested in joining the launch party to help promote my book, please click here to signup! https://karenlaos.com/book/
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Connect with me:
Sentence Prompts + Questions for Better Communication
Episode 65
Wednesday, May 25, 2022 • Duration 15:58
The words we use matter and can have a huge impact! In my upcoming book, “Trust Your Own Voice” I provide an entire chapter on sentence prompts that you can put in your back pocket and use as needed.
If you want to read the rest, you can purchase my book on June 3, 2022
You always want to be ready with questions or responses that can elevate your influence!
Tangible Takeaways
When introducing yourself, have a lead to your story.
Start your calls by asking, “How can I best support you?”
When you present an idea or plan, ask, “How does that land for you?”
When confronted with a rambler or someone giving a lot of unorganized detail, you can ask, “I want to check in, do you want my opinion or do you just want me to listen?”
Instead of asking, “Why did you do that?” say “What was your logic behind that?” or “Help me understand your reasoning behind that.”
The most powerful thing you can ask someone is, “tell me more?”
If you’re interested in joining the launch party to help promote my book, please click here to signup! https://karenlaos.com/book/
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Connect with me:
Trust Your Own Voice
Episode 64
Wednesday, May 18, 2022 • Duration 23:46
Are you holding back from sharing your ideas? Maybe it’s self-doubt due to fear of judgment, not wanting to rock the boat, or you’re worried about what others will think.
I’ve been there! I struggled with trusting my own voice due to self-doubt–even as a senior leader in the corporate world.
I wanted to be free.
In this episode, I read the first chapter of my book: Trust Your Own Voice: Growing Your Influence through Confident Communication.
You’ll hear about the meeting I was supposed to be running, but my boss shut it down because I was frozen in my internal conflict. You’ll get a glimpse into my past when my dad taught me to negotiate at flea markets when I was six years old.
I share about the mixed messages I received as a kid: “Speak up! Stay quiet.” Super confusing, right?
I open up about my journey into unshakable confidence - how I got to a point where I didn’t need people’s permission or approval to speak up..
My hope is that this inspires you to trust your own voice and be free. The world is waiting for you!
Tangible Takeaways:
You do not need permission from others to speak!
“Act as if!” Step into the confidence you want to have.
You can learn to trust your own voice and empower yourself to do it
You can heal from whatever is holding you back. It will take time, intention and support, but it’s possible.
Even when someone disagrees, your ideas remain valid and you are still worthy.
If you want to join the launch team to help promote my book, please click here to sign up! https://karenlaos.com/book/
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Stand your Ground with a Difficult Manager with Kristen Geez
Episode 63
Wednesday, May 11, 2022 • Duration 18:10
Struggling with a difficult manager may not be new for Kristen, but shrinking back and allowing him to run her over was. Kristen talks about the mindset she lived with for months and how she began the journey of turning the tables and taking back her power.
When reflecting on a season when Kristen gave up her voice and defaulted her power to others, she realized she was taking a child’s posture in an adult role. Defining who she is became the foundation for stepping out and speaking up.
Tangible Takeaways:
It’s ok to name your RIQ (reason I quit) and put action behind it.
When someone confronts you with power-play tactics, remember: you are not in competition with them
Avoid waiting for someone older to come in and rescue you, it is up to you to take action.
Remember: you are an adult in an adult role! Avoid taking the child’s posture.
Define who you are and what you want to project in the world.
About Kristen:
Kristen Grant-Evuleocha, also known as Kristen Geez, is the creator of Advising Generation Z.
Kristen is an Author, TEDx Speaker, Freelance Reporter for the National Diversity & Leadership Conference, and Brand Ambassador for Women That Soar. Kristen holds a BS. in Ethical Leadership, MEd in Leadership & Development, and will begin pursuing her Doctoral Degree in degree in Leadership and Learning Specialization in Organizational Leadership fall of 2020.
Kristen is dedicated to building confidence, developing leadership, inspiring unity, and setting high standards for people of all ages. Her philosophy of creating context and covering events that help develop and empower people, has inspired thousands of adults and children to pursue their personal and professional goals.
Connect with Kristen:
Website: LinkedIn:
Refuse to be Bulldozed with Mary Snyder
Episode 62
Wednesday, May 4, 2022 • Duration 30:45
What do you do when someone steals the credit for your success?
How do you respond when someone literally closes the door in your face?
Mary Snyder shares these experiences and what she learned about herself through her journey in the corporate world. She had to fight against her Southern gal upbringing and claim her voice, and it was a process.
Mary stopped holding back and continues to be a powerhouse of solutions. She will inspire you to embrace who you are and have the confidence to step up to the table - not silently taking up space, but powerfully contributing!
Tangible Takeaways:
You don’t need to make yourself feel badly in order to save someone else from feeling badly.
Put your foot down (graciously and kindly), don’t be bulldozed by those who are intimidated.
Be brave! Ask your boss, “What is the one thing you’d like me to stop doing, to grow?”
Shift your mindset. You matter. Your voice matters in the conversation.
About Mary:
Mary is a podcast host, speaker coach, event planner and tour producer. She uses her unique skills to help speakers craft a message that matters and take it to the stage.
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Some resources for you:
Want to see how you score as a confident communicator?
About me: Many years ago I found myself tongue-tied in a boardroom, my colleagues and executives staring at me. My stomach in my throat, I was unable to get the words out (in spite of being in a senior leadership role).
Then, I heard my boss shut down the meeting. My heart sank. I was mortified. She pulled me aside and said, "You didn't trust your gut. You could've tabled the meeting like I did."
Why didn’t that option occur to me in the moment? Why did I feel like I needed permission?
That was the day I set out to change. I began a journey of personal growth to discover the root of the problem. Once I did, I wanted every woman to experience that same freedom.
I’m now on a mission to eradicate self-doubt in 10 million women in 10 years by giving them simple strategies to speak up and ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond, resulting in more clients, job promotions, and negotiation wins.
Companies like NASA, Netflix, Google, and Sephora have been propelled toward more effective communication skills through my signature framework, The Confidence Cocktail™.
This is your invitation to step into your most confident self so you can catapult your career!
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
Tell your boss what you need. “Boss, if you have important direction to offer regarding new or revised responsibilities, I’d like to get that information in a conversation rather than a message over Slack or email. Does that work for you?” And depending on your relationship, you could say “Hearing that in Slack with no context made me think you might have an issue with my performance, so being able to hear it in conversation would be beneficial.” or “Hearing that in Slack left me with more questions…”
Know your triggers and respond appropriately. If you are naturally bent toward questioning yourself or thinking you’re the problem (would love to help you overcome this, btw!), be aware of that when you get a message that doesn’t land well. Ask another trusted colleague, friend or coach how they would’ve received it. That objective perspective can be incredibly insightful. For someone who isn’t triggered the same way you are, the message will be received differently. We all hold baggage from our past that informs our present.
Always remember that no one will care as much about your career as YOU do, so you have to advocate for yourself. Don’t expect anyone else to, and when you ask, ask with confidence.
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
The business of real estate utilizes many of Rica's gifts in her mission to serve others. Rica’s client-centered approach delivers unparalleled service, whether you’re a first-time home buyer, a downsizing retiree, a move-up buyer or an investor. Her knowledge, experience, and thoroughness help clients think strategically and holistically about real estate decisions. Rica is an expert contract negotiator. Problems are just roadblocks, and through hard work, expertise and perseverance, Rica finds routes around to help arrive at the end goal.
Rica enjoys helping and giving to others. Professionally, she enjoys her work as an Ambassador for the San Mateo Area and Danville Areas Chamber of Commerce. She is the Chairman of the Board for Generations United, a local non-profit that helps the under-resourced community in Redwood City and loves volunteering in her community. Her favorite pastime, however, is hanging out with her husband, Rob, and watching their son play baseball.
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
About me: Karen Laos is a keynote speaker and leadership coach equipping women to stand out with unshakable confidence. She specializes in communication: executive presence and compelling messages. Karen champions female business leaders to own their value and find their voice so they can be seen and heard. She also works with teams to create cultures of trust and function at their best.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
Karen has coached leaders at Facebook, Google, Netflix, Uber, Sephora, Sony, Microsoft, Fidelity, Charles Schwab, Trip Advisor, Bacardi, Levi, and more. Karen’s style is fun, encouraging and results-oriented. She immediately moves past the “fluff” and gets straight to the issue (just ask her clients).
Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator.
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