I Have Some Questions... – Details, episodes & analysis

In this thought-provoking conversation, Erik and Alli explore a noticeable shift in how people are setting goals in 2026. Instead of laser-focused metrics and traditional SMART goals, more people are choosing intentions, directions, and feelings as their compass. Why? And what does it mean for how we measure success?

Together, they unpack the value of vector-based goals, the emerging trend of process over outcome, and why many high achievers are intentionally ditching rigid measurements in favor of something more sustainable—and possibly more effective.

❓ The Big Question

Are rigid goals still useful, or is it time to rethink how we measure success?

💡 Key Takeaways

• SMART goals aren’t dead—but they’re no longer the only path to growth. Many are shifting to qualitative, process-based goals that align with values rather than numbers.
• Process integrity > Outcome obsession. Focusing too hard on the end result can blind you to the meaningful work already being done.
• Goals as vectors. Picking a direction and tracking momentum may serve us better than defining a fixed destination.
• Experiments over expectations. Viewing goals as hypotheses allows you to learn, iterate, and adjust—rather than feeling stuck or like a failure.
• High-achievers are redefining success. For many, especially those running businesses or on the edge of new growth, clarity and confidence come from feeling aligned—not just hitting numbers.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Vector Goals: Choosing a direction and measuring acceleration, not just arrival.
• Process Integrity vs. Outcome Integrity (Deborah’s concept): Not all success is about the result—sometimes it’s about how you show up along the way.
• Hypothesis-Driven Leadership: Every initiative is a test—learn to treat your strategy as a living system.
• Blinders of Quantification: Rigid metrics can distract from emerging opportunities.
• Creative Constraints: New habits, products, or businesses often defy neat measurement—especially early on.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Alli shared how she intentionally didn’t set numeric goals in 2026 for her business, favoring creativity and sustainability over spreadsheets.
• Erik reflected on how, as a founder, forecasting too early can create false precision—so he now leads with qualitative goals and lets quantification come later.
• Both recognized this as a trend among their mentees and clients, noting that more people are choosing how they want to feel or how they want to work as the real goal.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

1. Start with a direction, not a destination. Ask: “If I moved this way, what would feel aligned?”
2. Run your goals like experiments. What hypothesis are you testing?
3. Replace ‘How much?’ with ‘How meaningful?’ Try tracking presence, ease, or momentum.
4. Review your process, not just results. Did you show up the way you said you would?
5. Ditch what doesn’t serve you. If SMART goals feel restrictive, try something else—and own it.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“If you marry yourself too early to an outcome, it takes away your ability to adapt to the humbling reality that might be showing up.” – Erik

“For the recovering high achiever in me… this is forcing me to think differently in a way I wouldn’t have expected.” – Alli

“The clearer you are on the direction you want to move, the more powerfully you can simplify the steps to get there.” – Erik

“You’re the only one who knows you best. Pick what works for you and get rid of the noise.” – Alli

“Let’s go run the test. Let’s see if we’re right.” – Erik

🔗 Links & Resources

• Listen to other episodes co-hosted with Alli&

 🧠 Erik’s Take 

In this post-interview reflection, Erik revisits key insights from his conversation with Brett Jesson, Chief Growth Officer at DDC Group. What stands out isn’t just Brett’s strategic clarity—it’s the way he pairs operational rigor with a deeply human approach to leadership. Erik dives into three standout themes: the underestimated power of fiction in leadership, the rise of small powerhouse teams, and the brutal honesty required for better hiring. This is a thoughtful unpacking of how leadership evolves when you're willing to look inward first.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Fiction builds empathy. Reading novels helps leaders see the world through others’ eyes—and leads to stronger “off the pitch” relationships.
• Small, high-powered generalist teams outperform bureaucracies. Versatility + trust = agility.
• Hiring well starts with knowing yourself. If you don’t understand your team’s strengths and gaps, you can’t pick the right puzzle piece.
• Speed matters in hiring recovery. Catching a wrong hire in 30–60 days is healthy. Waiting 12–24 months is a costly culture problem.
• Generational shifts are leadership tests. Leading millennials and Gen Z is no longer optional—and it’s not their fault, but it is your responsibility.

🧩 The Personal Layer

Erik reflects on how Brett’s love of fiction and leadership intersect in surprising ways. From Ender’s Game to Project Hail Mary, storytelling helps leaders build empathy and see patterns in human behavior—both in real life and on their teams. It’s not just intellectual—it's emotional. Brett’s commitment to leveling up as a human, not just a title, is a model Erik finds both refreshing and necessary.

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Read fiction. Not as escape, but as a tool for emotional fluency.
• Build generalist-heavy teams and reduce "connective tissue" friction.
• Redesign your hiring process to test for culture, not just competence.
• Normalize admitting a hire isn’t working—faster, not later.
• Reflect: Are you adapting your leadership style to the team you have—or the one you wish you had?

🗣️ Notable Quotes

“You can't walk in someone’s shoes if you've never imagined them.”

“Friction often lives in the connective tissue—small teams cut that out.”

“Hiring starts with knowing what you can and can’t train.”

“The wrong person can demolish a small, high-powered team.”

“By 2030, millennials and Gen Z will be the majority—it’s not their fault, but it is your responsibility.”

🔗 Links & Resources

• Listen to Brett Jesson's Episode

🧠 Erik’s Take

In this reflection episode, Erik revisits his powerful conversation with therapist, designer, and leadership coach Monique Lecomte, spotlighting three resonant themes: adaptive leadership, the art of zigging when others zag, and the radical courage to own your origin story.

Monique’s journey—from rural Alabama to the boardrooms of design and organizational leadership—offers more than inspiration. It models a way of seeing leadership not as performance, but as personal evolution. Her ability to turn hardship into artistry, and pattern into purpose, leaves Erik asking himself—and all of us—what buried story we might need to feature instead of hide.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Adaptive leadership starts with unlearning. Monique’s work centers on resisting the “one-size-fits-all” playbook and staying present with the humanity in the room.
• Zig when others zag. Whether in design, career choices, or facilitation, Monique consistently chooses the less obvious path—and creates leverage by doing so.
• Origin stories hold power. The parts we want to skip are often the parts others most need to hear.
• Her book is a metaphor. The Expert General Generalist doesn’t just tell a story—it is the story: nonlinear, beautiful, layered, and unconventional.
• Leadership is design. And Monique sees space, systems, and power dynamics like a designer—revealing what's usually hidden in plain sight.

🧩 The Personal Layer

Monique’s honesty around her upbringing made Erik reflect on how much of our work, curiosity, and style comes from early experiences we may not even realize are driving us. He doesn’t have a book about his story—but this episode helped him consider what it might include. It’s an invitation to all listeners: if you traced your leadership back to its roots, what would you find? And more importantly—what would you do with it?

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Identify where you're applying a "one-size-fits-all" approach—and pause. Could you be more curious?
• Revisit your own career “zags.” What made you different—and how has that paid off?
• Spend 10 minutes journaling about a formative experience from childhood. What skill or sensitivity did it give you?
• Flip through The Expert General Generalist (if you have it)—not for answers, but for structure. How could you tell your story in a nonlinear way?
• Consider how you’re designing your leadership—not just practicing it. What patterns are you reinforcing without realizing it?

🗣️ Notable Quotes from Erik

“She doesn’t just tell her story—she features it. And that’s leadership.”

“Monique’s book is her strategy: beautiful, nonlinear, and completely outside the box.”

“The willingness to turn a hard story into a usable asset? That’s courage in action.”

“Adaptive leadership isn’t a theory. It’s a decision made over and over, in real time.”

“Her whole life has been a masterclass in zigging when others zag.”

🔗 Links & Resources

• Listen to Monique Lecomte's Episode

In this reaction episode, Erik unpacks the deeply resonant conversation he just had with Tim Whitmire, co-founder of F3 Nation. What starts as a personal reflection on F3's impact morphs into a vulnerable and strategic look at leadership, sustainability, and what it really means to see the people we lead clearly. From the power of micro-origin stories to the gift of context-aware leadership, Erik distills the conversation into actionable insights anchored in both experience and empathy.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Organic beginnings can lead to transformational outcomes. F3 was a simple response to a real need. Now it's a nationwide movement impacting tens of thousands of men.
• Sustainable effort beats constant hustle. Tim’s “91% Rule” is a powerful counterpoint to burnout culture—and Erik adds his own twist: even 80% effort, consistently, from the right people is a win.
• People don’t fail—contexts do. Sometimes the job changes. Sometimes they change. Either way, hanging on too long helps no one.

🧩 The Personal Layer

Erik reflects candidly on his own leadership journey—how he nearly became toxic in a job he’d once thrived in, and how his perspective shifted from “fixer” to “founder.” He connects Tim’s philosophies to his own experiences running a sales team, where stepping back meant creating space for others to grow. He also shares the story of a group he once started—Potentially Productive Shenanigans—as a what-if moment that mirrored F3’s humble origin.

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Audit Your Expectations: Are you expecting 100% effort from someone who’s living through a 60% season?
• Create the Off-Ramp: Don’t delay difficult transitions. Instead, plan for them with empathy, transparency, and dignity.
• Lead with Context: What has changed in this person’s world? How can you adapt without lowering the bar for excellence?
• Human > Heroics: Show your team that you see them and that leadership isn’t about squeezing more, but unlocking better.

🗣️ Notable Quotes

“Maybe they're a rockstar, you just can't see it because they're in the wrong seat.”
“You can build an off-ramp that earns undying respect and still protect your company's needs.”
“If you're not willing to adapt your expectations to someone's season, you're not leading them, you're managing a machine.”

🔗 Links & Resources

• 🌐 CXN Advisory – Book a Call
• 🏋️‍♂️ F3 Nation Website

In this powerful conversation, Erik sits down with Tim Whitmire, co-founder of F3 Nation and a seasoned leader across journalism, finance, consulting, and operations, to unpack what it takes to build decentralized leadership, sustain impact at scale, and lead with humility and purpose. From the sweaty roots of a Saturday workout in Charlotte to the formation of a nationwide brotherhood, Tim shares timeless insights on human development, organizational growth, and what it really means to step back so others can step up.

👤 About the Guest

Tim Whitmire is the co-founder of F3 Nation, a grassroots network of free, peer-led workouts that emphasize Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith. He is Executive Vice President of Growth and Strategic Development at the Doeswell Operating Group and the Founder & CEO of CXN Advisory. With a background in journalism (15 years with the Associated Press), Tim brings a rare blend of storytelling, operational thinking, and values-based leadership to every endeavor. He’s also co-author of Freed to Lead, the foundational book on F3’s leadership ethos.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• Why everyone should be expected to lead (even just once).
• F3’s core idea: Fit and friended men naturally turn outward.
• The Starfish vs. Spider model: How decentralized leadership created a global movement.
• The 91% Rule: Why we should never expect 100% effort all the time.
• What it takes to actually replace yourself as a leader and why many organizations fail at it.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Leadership is contextual: The same person can be a rockstar in one environment and toxic in another.
• Decentralization wins: Pushing tools and ownership to the edge builds resilience and scale.
• Effort ≠ burnout: Peak performance requires sustainable pacing—not constant 100% output.
• Letting go is leadership: The greatest test of a leader is their ability to walk away well.
• Seasons matter: Acknowledging life phases (like parenthood, grief, or burnout) creates humane leadership cultures.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• What does it take to lead something that outgrows you?
• How do you know when it’s time to step back?
• What happens when you stay in a leadership role too long?
• How can you help someone transition out of the wrong role without harming them?

🗣️ Notable Quotes

“If you're not developing your replacement, you're probably blocking your own promotion.”
“We’re not wired to go 100% all the time. I want 91%—and the ability to peak when it counts.”
“Fitness is the magnet. Fellowship is the glue. Faith is the dynamite.”

🔗 Links & Resources

• 🌐 CXN Advisory – Book a Call
• 🏋️‍♂️ F3 Nation Website

In this solo episode, Erik takes us deep into one of the most deceptively simple and misunderstood questions in leadership: What does it mean to be a leader? This is not about personality traits or lofty vision statements—it’s about one clear, powerful definition that transforms how you show up, lead, and grow others. If you’ve ever felt the tension of being too nice, too controlling, or just unsure how to unlock your team's potential this one’s for you.

❓The Big Question

What does it truly mean to lead someone and how can we know if we’re doing it well?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Leadership is a verb: to lead is to influence someone toward an advantage.
• Influence means being the proximal cause of change. You disrupt the status quo in service of growth.
• Advantage must be defined by the person being led, not the leader.
• Many leaders fail by being overly relational, overly rational, or by simply “leading by example.”
• Great leadership lives in adaptability, tuning your approach to the individual, not your preference.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• F3 Definition of Leadership: To lead is to influence someone toward an advantage.
• The Influence + Advantage Matrix: 
  • Relational Leader: Kind but ineffective; avoids discomfort.
  • Rational Leader: Logical but uninspiring; misses buy-in.
  • Lead-by-Example Leader: Hardworking but misaligned; leads only themselves.
• Golden Rule 2.0: Don’t lead others how you want to be led, lead them how they need to be led.
• Leadership as Conversation: Leadership emerges in everyday conversations whether they’re verbal, written, asynchronous.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik shares a personal leadership fail: giving team members heads-up messages he thought were helpful, only to find they eroded trust.
• He recounts how discovering the F3 leadership definition reshaped his entire approach to coaching and accountability.
• Sports coaches like Nick Saban and Steve Kerr illustrate that the best leaders unlock, not overpower.
• You should aim to be the worst individual contributor on your team, that’s how you know you’re empowering others.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Audit Your Conversations: Were you talking or listening more? Did you ask open-ended questions?
• Ask This Question Today: “What can I do to be a better leader for you?”
• Shift to Influence Mode: Identify one person on your team and ask yourself, “How can I influence them toward their advantage today?”
• Ditch the Traits Checklist: Focus on practicing the skill of asking powerful, open-ended questions.
• Identify Your Bias: Are you too relational, too rational, or defaulting to “lead by example”? Adjust accordingly.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“If all you’ve got is a hammer, every problem looks suspiciously like a nail.”
“Nice bosses keep people happy until the layoff list hits. Kind bosses care about long-term good.”
“Leadership isn’t about how you want to lead. It’s about how they need to be led.”

In this launch episode of I Have Some Questions…, Erik Berglund sets the stage for a podcast built on one radical belief: that great leadership begins not with answers, but with better questions. He shares the personal journey that led him to this insight, the mission behind the show, and what listeners can expect from future episodes—interviews, solo deep dives, and a whole lot of leadership exploration.

❓ The Big Question

What if asking better questions is the most powerful leadership skill no one ever taught us?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Curiosity, not charisma, is the underrated cornerstone of great leadership.
• Most pivotal leadership moments begin with a powerful question—not a polished answer.
• Many essential leadership skills (like balancing empathy with accountability) aren’t taught, but they can be explored through inquiry.
• Lead with Questions will blend interviews with solo explorations to uncover the “why” behind powerful leadership decisions.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Language of Leadership: A business Erik founded to help leaders refine what they say and how they say it.
• Speechcraft: A tool using AI roleplay to enhance soft skills like leadership and difficult conversations.
• The Unspoken Curriculum: The leadership lessons no one teaches—like how to unlock others’ potential or what “accountability” really means.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik’s leadership journey began at 18, managing a house painting crew, which planted the seeds of his curiosity-driven approach.
• He later scaled to leading sales teams and eventually left corporate to coach and build leadership-focused ventures.
• Key turning points often came from internal questions, not external accolades.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Reflect on your own leadership journey: What moments were shaped by powerful questions?
• Ask yourself: What have I been told to do as a leader that no one actually taught me how to do?
• Identify one question you’d love to hear answered on the podcast and send it Erik’s way.
• Challenge your team with a curiosity-driven prompt this week—see what emerges.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“I think curiosity and good questions is the core skill for leadership.”
“I can’t guarantee we’ll always get to the bottom of an answer. But ideally, we’ll build better frameworks—and better questions.”

In this episode, Erik sits down with sales and leadership strategist Monique Lecomte for a raw, generous conversation on the dynamics of leadership, healing, and relational growth. Through the lens of her experience—from working with incarcerated teams to coaching senior executives—Monique reveals how personal wounds, cultural systems, and relational patterns show up in our work, and what it really means to lead with presence rather than performance.

👤 About the Guest

Monique Lecomte is a keynote speaker, leadership expert, and facilitator with a career spanning 20+ years in global business for iconic brands– Herman Miller, Knoll, and Hightower. Growing up in rural Alabama, she learned resilience and adaptability—skills that shaped her journey from small-town life to the boardroom. A recognized Expert Generalist, she has built high-performing teams, driven cultural change, and helped organizations thrive by balancing innovation with a human connection.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• The subtle (and not-so-subtle) trauma responses that shape how leaders show up
• Why the “fixer” instinct often creates disconnection and resentment
• What leaders can learn from others—and what they absolutely shouldn’t copy
• How systemic inequality shapes interpersonal dynamics at work
• The difference between “holding space” and avoiding discomfort
• A practical exercise for exploring relational patterns using you <--> me language
• Why every team has a collective nervous system—and how to listen to it
• The real role of somatics, not as a trend, but as a signal of what’s unspoken

💡 Key Takeaways

• Fixing is often a disguised need to reduce your discomfort—not meet their need.
• Every interaction is shaped by what’s in the system—past stories, power dynamics, and unspoken rules.
• Language matters: even small shifts (“you <--> me” structures) can expose entrenched roles and change a conversation.
• Unprocessed trauma or identity harm doesn’t stay personal—it shows up in leadership.
• Your body often knows the truth before your mind will admit it.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• “What are you protecting when you keep trying to fix things?”
• “What happens in the space between two people when one always performs and the other always disappears?”
• “What’s the cost of leadership that avoids conflict in the name of harmony?”
• “How do we lead when our nervous system is still recovering from old wounds?”
• “What shifts when we treat power as relational, not positional?”

🗣️ Notable Quotes

“Fixing makes the other person disappear. It assumes they’re broken and you know better.”

“A lot of what we call leadership is just a well-trained trauma response.”

“The room is always full of ghosts—of systems, of stories, of history. The work is learning how to see them.”

“There’s a difference between being regulated and being controlled. One leads to connection. The other leads to shutdown.”

“I’m not here to optimize you. I’m here to help you tell the truth in the room.”

🔗 Links & Resources

• Check out Monique's Website: moniquelecomte.com
• Monique's LinkedIn
• Monique's Instagram
• Read or Listen to 'The Expert Generalist', Monique's Book

In this candid, co-hosted conversation, Erik Berglund and Alli Murphy dive into the trending workplace phenomenon of ghost growth—where employees are handed more responsibilities without more compensation. They unpack where this trend is coming from, how it shows up in real teams, and what both leaders and employees can do to navigate it without burning out or blowing up. With plenty of real-life examples, frameworks, and tactical scripts, this episode is a masterclass in setting boundaries, negotiating expectations, and turning tension into growth.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• The rise of ghost growth: what it is, how it differs from scope creep, and why it’s hitting workers hard right now
• How leaders can frame tough asks without sounding manipulative
• Smart, non-monetary ways to reward extra effort—and why money isn’t always the most effective motivator
• Why “yes or no” isn’t the only response to being handed more work
• How to build capacity through systems, not just effort
• Scripts for pushing back without burning bridges
• The power of “start, stop, continue” when reevaluating your workload
• Why most job descriptions are broken—and what that says about expectations

💡 Key Takeaways

• Ghost growth is real—but it can be leveraged for meaningful development if handled with care.
• Leaders must co-own the problem, not just hand it off. It’s not just “here’s more work”—it’s “how do we solve for this together?”
• Scope creep without strategy leads to burnout, not growth. Honest, upfront conversations are essential.
• Employees have more agency than they think. The key is negotiating from curiosity and alignment—not reactivity.
• Incentives don’t always mean raises. Promotions, ownership, and time off often hold more value.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• Where does ghost growth actually come from—and how should leaders address it?
• What options exist beyond “say no” or “accept and drown”?
• How can middle managers protect their team’s well-being while navigating top-down pressure?
• What frameworks help employees reframe overwhelming asks as growth opportunities?
• Why do leaders default to “adding” instead of “subtracting”—and what’s the cost?

🗣️ Notable Quotes

“Growth happens under tension. But if you're not careful, you're just creating stress—not development.” —Erik

“There’s this false binary: say no and be punished, or say yes and drown. There are at least 17 other options.” —Alli

“Most people are more motivated by personal brand growth than a few extra dollars.” —Erik

“You don’t have to respond right away. You’re allowed to pause, reflect, and come back with a plan.” —Alli

“We’re wired to add, not subtract. But real leadership sometimes means removing more than it means adding.” —Alli

🔗 Links & Resources

• Listen to other episodes co-hosted with Alli

🧠 Erik’s Take

This episode is Erik’s reflection on the electric, vulnerable, and revealing conversation with performance coach Ann Rivera—a woman whose origin story as a rebellious underdog athlete reads like a masterclass in bootstrapped entrepreneurship. Erik connects Ann’s volleyball hustle to the startup journey: making yourself visible in a market that doesn’t know it needs you, adapting your offer mid-flight, and staying grounded in the uncomfortable yet exhilarating reality of growth.

At its core, this review is about how sports, grit, and flow are not metaphors for business—they are business when done right.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Her story is a startup. Ann's journey from overlooked 5'9" volleyball player to European pro is the perfect entrepreneurial parable—scrappy outreach, market rejection, product pivot, and relentless execution.
• Flow state is not an accident. Ann’s self-designed rituals—journaling, music, visualization—weren’t indulgences; they were systems. A blueprint.
• Sports reveal what business forgets. Things like preparation, internal competition, and honest feedback are baked into athletics—but go missing in most professional environments.
• Coaches see what you can’t. The best leaders in business should take cues from athletic coaching: notice patterns, provide feedback loops, and challenge people to show up sharper.
• Your flow might surprise you. For Erik, the conversation helped reveal that his flow lives in real-time problem-solving with others—not in isolation or over-prep.

🧩 The Personal Layer

Erik reflects on the discomfort and clarity of being asked about his own flow state live in the moment. It prompted a deeper recognition that he's at his best when he's “thinking out loud alongside someone”—not when he’s locked away in solo prep. That moment of unexpected self-awareness becomes a model of how coaching actually works: not prescriptive, but revealing.

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Revisit your pre-performance rituals. Are they accidental… or are they engineered to get you into your best zone?
• Ask yourself: What’s my position on the team? And are you playing the right one… or one you settled for?
• Audit your leadership like a coach. Can you see what your team can’t? Do you help them train with feedback and rigor?
• Build a “flow formula.” What sound, space, movement, or dialogue helps you tap in? Then reverse-engineer it.
• Stop expecting excellence from people who don’t have feedback loops. Add one. Even if it’s simple.

🗣️ Notable Quotes from Erik

“She had to pivot her product in real time just to stay in the game. That is entrepreneurship.”

“We admire athletes because they have what we hope for in our teams—grit, feedback, and stakes.”

“There’s no benching someone in business. But there is spotlighting where they’re not bringing it.”

“Flow isn’t magic. It’s math. Figure out your formula.”

“The best leaders are watching the film. You’re not in the play. You’re seeing the pattern.”

🔗 Links & Resources

• Listen to Ann Rivera's Episode