Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health – Details, episodes & analysis

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Your 3am Google search spiral feels beyond frustrating when you're usually the one with answers. In this week's solo episode I acknowledge the unique exhaustion of spinning your wheels while your child struggles, and offer a concrete 8-step menu of ways to move from wishing into actionable planning and hope. 

If your existing parenting toolkit isn't working to create positive change in your family this episode will offer ways to rethink and recharge. The best news is, when you change yourself, the rest of the family system cannot not change. And that's why we start with you.

What you'll learn:

• The distinction between wishing vs. having real hope 
• Hope Theory: agency + pathways = real hope
• Why even highly capable parents get stuck
• The paralysis that comes from information overload without implementation
• The paradox of excelling everywhere except with being able to help your child
• Using research as sophisticated avoidance

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• 8-Step downloadable template for creating your plan
• Helping Families Help - Provider Directory for CRAFT-Trained Coaches and Therapists
• Parent Like a Hostage Negotiator Hopestream episode 295
• Apply for a scholarship for The Stream Community (for moms and female caregivers)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

When your child doesn't believe they need help, finding a path forward can feel nearly impossible and is exhausting in every way. Dr. Xavier Amador offers profound hope through his LEAP method—a neuroscience-backed approach born from both his clinical expertise and the raw reality of loving family members with schizophrenia.

Dr. Amador's journey began with seven transformative days at his brother's side, where traditional confrontation failed spectacularly. His brother, brilliant yet trapped by anosognosia (the neurological inability to perceive one's own illness), couldn't recognize what everyone else could see. It wasn’t denial or stubbornness, but definitely looked like it. What Dr. Amador’s brother was suffering from is brain-based, affecting 50% of people with schizophrenia and 40% with bipolar disorder.

The beauty of LEAP (Listen, Empathize, Agree, Partner) lies in its counterintuitive wisdom: stop trying to convince someone they're ill. Instead, build a relationship where trust flourishes despite fundamental disagreements about reality. Dr. Amador's approach honors the cognitive friction between what you see and what your child experiences, while creating emotional proximity that transcends the diagnosis.

What you'll discover in this conversation: 

• Why arguing about symptoms backfires—and the neurological reasons behind anosognosia 
• How to implement LEAP strategies that preserve relationships when insight seems impossible (you’ll want to copy the actual words Dr. Amador provides!)
• Dr. Amador's personal breakthrough with his brother that changed everything
• Medications available for psychiatric disorders including injectables and ones suitable for adolescents
• Why accepting their reality (without agreeing) opens doors that confrontation slams shut

Even if your loved one never gains recognition of their mental illness, you can still cultivate connection, influence positive choices, and maintain your own emotional equilibrium. 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dr. Amador’s website
• Videos for parents

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

When Ed and Mary Ternan finally met the police officer who had been on scene at their son's overdose death, he had an off-the-record theory: "This is not official, and you'll have to wait for toxicology to come back, but this is going to be fentanyl," the officer told them.

News about the synthetic opioid is inescapable today, but in 2020, the couple had never heard of it. Charlie was a popular, successful student with no substance use issues. How could this have happened?

As it turned out, Charlie was Santa Clara County's seventh fentanyl death in only 10 days. Suffering occasional pain from back surgery a year earlier, Charlie had taken a single counterfeit pill purchased from a dealer ("plug") on Snapchat.

Incredibly, it took less than two months for Ed and Mary Ternan to found a nonprofit dedicated to awareness and education about the skyrocketing deaths from accidental fentanyl overdose. In this episode, we trace the lessons we can learn from Charlie's story, the storm of circumstances that has placed young people in such danger, and how to reach both kids and parents in specific ways.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Song For Charlie website
• Bandcamp page for Song For Charlie (download the song here)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
I release about 50 episodes of Hopestream every year, and every year there are a few conversations that just stick.  Months later I’ll find myself reflecting on how a specific story or perspective has the potential to change the way we think and act as parents of kids working toward recovery.  I think of these important moments as this year's “golden nuggets.”

So at the end of every year, I share these nuggets in an episode packed with some of my favorite bits of wisdom, and we’ve got great ones this year!

• Wes Robins explains why traditional recovery techniques didn’t resonate with him, and how he helps families with his own “radical” youth work
• My own son, Enzo, finally appears on the show to talk about his early substance use, overdoses, and the importance of maintaining family relationships through addiction and recovery
• Dave and Eleanor discuss the Netflix-worthy story of their daughter’s descent from upper-middle-class college freshman to homeless fentanyl dependence
• Dr. Emily Kline explains some of the best techniques for beginning a conversation about substances with your kid (that don’t immediately get shut down)
• Dr. Libby Stuyt lays out the magnitude of the marijuana problem in the nation’s earliest test case of recreational availability: Colorado
• Our own Steve Andrews, host of the Woods Community for men, tells the frightening story of one hellish night with his son, as well as the most important lessons he’s learned since then

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dr. Wes Robins on episode 161
• Enzo Narciso on episode 185
• Eleanor and Dave on episode 180
• Dr. Emily Kline on episode 160
• Dr. Libby Stuyt on episode 162
• Brenda Zane on episode 176
• Steve Andrews on episode 183

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Friend, we made it to the end of 2023. This is my final solo episode of the year and after much thought and debate, I decided to share a gift I'd like to give you, some words of hope and strength for wherever you are in The Journey.

This short episode is one you can save and play when things get tough, and I encourage you to share it with someone you know who's also going through difficulties - not just parenting challenges.

Looking forward to another year of connection, hope, and healing in 2024.
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Parents trying to navigate treatment with their kids are already pushed to their mental and emotional limits. When you're in it, you're so overwhelmed that it's hard to think about something as frustrating and time-consuming as insurance. But my guest today reminds us the earlier you get started and the more thorough your documentation, the more likely you are to receive coverage for the resources and services your child needs.

I contacted Mark DeBofsky before I even finished reading the first article I saw about his work. Finally, here was someone who could not only explain how insurance companies work in the context of mental health and substance use treatment, but also how you can increase the odds of receiving fair coverage.

Mark is the namesake and President of DeBofsky Law, which specializes in litigating denial of claims by large insurance companies and corporations. Over the course of this conversation, we cover a lot of ground related to the infuriating process of receiving coverage for treatment services. Among other things, we discuss:

• The confusing array of coverage guidelines used by companies and the courts
• The industry of physicians contracted by insurance companies to back up their denials
• What parts of treatment you should expect to get covered by insurance
• How A.I. is being used to both support and deny claims
• Why fewer than 2% of claim denials are appealed
• What steps you can take to set your family up for the best possible level of coverage

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• https://www.debofsky.com/
• NPR Medical Bill of the Month
• ProPublica article - Uncovered: How the Insurance Industry Denies Coverage to Patients
• Kennedy Forum for Mental Health Parity
• Wilderness Therapy Ruling May Deter Broad Policy Exclusions

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
On today's coaching episode, we welcome our first dad from our community for dads, The Woods.

As a father, Brad has some great things going for him. He still has a meaningful connection of supportive parenting with his ex-wife, who first introduced him to the podcast, and he’s a member of The Woods, our community for dads, which means he’s not doing this alone. His 18-year-old son is in a good place as well, currently residing in a sober living community after attending wilderness therapy and a residential program.

Still, Brad is facing a lot of unknowns. Naturally, he wants his son to have every opportunity for success, but what does helpful parenting look like with a child in early recovery? How does a dad know when to step in and when to hold back and let his son just figure things out on his own? To add to the complexities, Brad’s son is potentially coming home to visit soon, which is exciting and also nerve wracking.

In this coaching episode, Brad and I talk about learning to trust through fear, and becoming a source of accountability without driving his son away or infringing on his decision-making. It's a very positive episode that should give parents a glimpse of life down the road with a child successfully navigating early recovery.
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
So many kids who turn to substances are brilliant. Often that brilliance gets wielded in a variety of unhealthy ways and can wreck the power balance of an entire household. Perhaps you've felt telltale signs like being held hostage with gaslighting and emotional blackmail. Perhaps you woke up one day to realize you've been walking on eggshells, allowing your child to control the interactions in your own house for months.

My guest today says that there are ways to right the ship, stop negotiating when appropriate, and still communicate effectively with our kids. Dr. Janet Sasson-Edgette is not only a mother of three, but also a child and adolescent psychologist who has written half a dozen books in the field. Today we discuss:

- The surprisingly simple and genuine conversational techniques that sets Dr. Edgette apart from many other therapists

- Why it's important for your child to know you as a person (not just as a parent)

- Why kids are actually craving realism and accountability in their therapeutic relationships

- Some strategies from her book, Stop Negotiating With Your Teen: Strategies for parenting your angry, manipulative, moody or depressed adolescent
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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Long before Olivia became a single parent, she was forced to face her own trauma. The heartbreaking challenges she's faced since then have piled an incredible amount of stress onto an already complex life.

The difficult journey for Olivia's son began with his father's brain injury and substance misuse, leading to a messy divorce that would have been difficult for any child. Working full-time as a single parent, Olivia has faced her son's depression, took the blame for the divorce, and dealt with her son’s refusal to attend therapy. Without family support, Olivia has done her best to navigate the situation independently and has bolstered her team with a coach to help her navigate the storm.  

Olivia’s son began experimenting with marijuana at the age of 13 and soon moved on to high-potency THC concentrates. He became more aggressive, his anger more volatile, and by the age of 15 was experiencing THC-induced psychotic breaks. He’s since been diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, ODD, marijuana use disorder, anxiety, and depression.

Between the COVID school closures and his mental health issues, Olivia’s son hasn't been in a structured learning environment for years but says he wants to go back to school. Olivia isn't sure this is a good idea for her and her son. After nearly a decade of this struggle, she’s depleted, exhausted, and depressed.

Today, we'll talk about how these kinds of persistent and extreme issues affect parents going through the worst of it and what Olivia might do to survive as she prepares to make some big life decisions.

If you've been through the wringer with a challenging child and it feels like no one else could possibly understand your journey, Olivia's story is a reminder that the Hopestream Community is full of people who DO truly get it.

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When Julie Merberg returned home from a work trip to find a scale and a pile of baggies on the table, she knew her son's involvement with substances was getting out of control.

In the early days of the Hopestream Community, not many people showed up to the group calls I offered to members. Julie and I were the only people who showed up the day I met her, but connecting with her one-on-one in the depths of her crisis was an incredible blessing for me and the entire community.

Foreshadowing her current work with Hopestream, Julie had already formed her own neighborhood support group of parents after her 16-year-old son began abusing Xanax and marijuana. As with so many of us, Julie and her husband tried to change their son’s behavior with punishment and control but found that it only made him more oppositional and defiant.

Three years later, Julie's son has embraced a life of recovery, and they both work to share the wisdom they've gained while getting there. In this episode, we discuss:

• The importance of trusting your gut when choosing therapy and recovery
• How untreated anxiety was driving Julie’s son to self medicate in unhealthy ways
• Why parents shouldn't expect to find "the one that works" when it comes to treatment programs
• Accepting that relapse is often part of the journey to recovery for young people
• How self-care is also a service to our families
• Why Julie thinks that the all-or-nothing 12 Step approach doesn't work well for teens

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• CMC:FFC
• Beyond Addiction book
• Free Spirit Experience
• Julie’s website
• Hazelden Betty Ford Adolescent program
• Theoppositeofaddiction.substack.com
• recoveryworksny.com

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.