Hope For Wives – Details, episodes & analysis

Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com
with special guest, Cat Etherington, nakedtruthproject.com

Today, Cat, Lyschel and I are tackling the very relevant topic of self-blame and victim-blaming. These are common responses to betrayal and trauma, and blame distorts the truth of what's really happening.

In this episode, we'll look at why people blame themselves, why others sometimes shift blame onto victims, and how these patterns affect healing. By raising awareness, we can challenge harmful narratives and move toward healthier, more accurate ways of understanding of where the responsibility truly lies.

1. Let's define what types of blame we are focusing on in this episode?
2. What is the role of empathy in feeling responsible for blame?
3. How do we give back the responsibility so we don't hold blame?
4. What hope can we leave with our listeners?

Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com
with special guest, Cat Etherington from nakedtruthproject.com

Shame has a sneaky way of convincing us the our brokenness is a result of the fact we're defective at our core, we're not enough, or that we should stay silent. In this conversation, we'll unpack how shame shows up, why it feels so heavy, and how finding safe spaces can begin to lift its weight. If you've ever thought, 'Maybe it's me,' this episode is for you.

1. What are some practical tips and tools for healing from shame?
2. What hope can we leave our listeners?

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Our topic of discussion, today, is how a woman can heal when fantasy was a part of his acting out behaviors? This type of fantasy is more than just an innocent daydream anticipating your upcoming vacation, Patrick Carnes, in his book Out of the Shadows, defines fantasy as, "…the altered [mental] state where anticipation and planning override conscience and consequence." In other words, this type of fantasy goes against values and ignores the relational consequences that can come if this fantasy is acted out.

1. Definitions of fantasy
2. What about fantasy impacts a partner so greatly?
3. How does comparison play into this scenario for her?

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we continue our discussion with Natalie Hoffman. Natalie is the author of, "Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual abuse," and "All the Scary Little Gods." She's also the host of the Flying Free Podcast.

She is a passionate advocate for Christian women in abusive homes and churches. Through the Flying Free Sisterhood, she empowers Christian women to use their voices and gifts for their spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

1. Discussion around the roles within a system with emotional and spiritual abuse.
2. If she chooses, how can she shift her role?
3. Lyschel's wrestle and decision
4. What does the path from emotional and spiritual abuse look like?

• "Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse"

• "All The Scary Little Gods: A Memoir"

• Flying Free Sisterhood Community

• Episode 59: "So What, Lord?"

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we welcome Natalie Hoffman to the podcast. Natalie is the author of, "Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual abuse," and "All the Scary Little Gods." She's also the host of the Flying Free Podcast.

She is a passionate advocate for Christian women in abusive homes and churches. Through the Flying Free Sisterhood, she empowers Christian women to use their voices and gifts for their spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

1. Can you share the key signs of covert emotional and spiritual abuse?  How can women see these subtle tactics in their marriage or environment?
2. Has he always been this way and I just didn't see it?
3. What are some of the key things you need that an abusive relationship cannot provide?
4. What hope can we offer our listeners?

• Emotional Abuse Quiz

• Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

• All the Scary Little Gods: A Memoir

• Natalie's Website, Flying Free Now

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we continue our conversation with Cat Etherington.

Cat Etherington is the Director of Recovery for Naked Truth Project, an international Christian charity opening eyes and freeing lives from the damaging impacts of pornography and other problematic sexual behaviours. 

1. What support do you offer globally?
2. How can we empower global listeners to advocate for themselves to uneducated support people?
3. Is no support better than damaging support?

• Naked Truth Recovery

  cat@nakedtruthrecovery.com

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Cat Etherington is the Director of Recovery for Naked Truth Project, an international Christian charity opening eyes and freeing lives from the damaging impacts of pornography and other problematic sexual behaviours. 

1. The importance of grief in the recovery process.
2. What happens if you try to skip the grief process?
3. What grief does the betrayer experience?
4. How do you help couples get "un-stuck" and move into mourning?

• Naked Truth Project

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are concluding our discussion around the tender topic of forgiveness after betrayal.

1. What about when we are reminded from Matthew 6:14-15,"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins?"
2. What about intellectual forgiveness versus a felt sense (embodied) of forgiveness?

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are moving solidly into the second phase of healing by discussing all the ramifications of forgiveness.

1. What are some definitions of forgiveness?
2. What are some myths about forgiveness?

• What is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure?

  Full Therapeutic Disclosure (part 2)

2 Peter 3:9

2 Chronicles 7:14

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we continue our discussion with Dr. Christy Bauman.

Christy is an author, teacher and psychotherapist. A mother of 4, fierce dreamer and passionate about advocating for women.

Christy received her Bachelors degree in Communication at Texas A&M in 2002 and then her Masters in Counseling at Reformed Theological Seminary in 2007. She published the book Unearth in 2008, A Brave Lament in 2018, and Her Rites in 2024. She is certified in Medical Family Therapy and Trauma and Abuse. She earned her doctorate at Seattle Pacific University. Her dissertation topic was Shame and Sexuality in Women.

1. Overcoming the shame of female sexuality
2. What's the first practical thing I can do to overcome shame?

• Her Rites by Dr. Christy Bauman

• Safe Church Book , Safe Church Conference