Back

Explore every episode of the podcast Her Best Self: Freedom from Disordered Eating, Body Obsession & Perfectionism

Dive into the complete episode list for Her Best Self: Freedom from Disordered Eating, Body Obsession & Perfectionism. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

Rows per page:

1–50 of 332

TitlePub. DateDuration
EP 269.5: What Are Your NOW Needs? Maslow's Hierarchy & How to Honor Yourself in ED Recovery **Must Listen Fav!**17 févr. 202600:17:20

If your goal is to "recover from your eating disorder," what happens when you get there? Then what?

Here's the problem: When you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. But recovery isn't a destination. It's a journey of BECOMING.

In this episode, I'm challenging you to shift your focus from what you want to change to who you need to become to achieve freedom. And it starts with understanding your NOW needs.

Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I break down why you can't move forward in recovery if your basic needs aren't even being met—and what to do about it RIGHT NOW.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why setting a goal to "recover" sabotages your success
  • What recovery will make OF you (not just what it will give you)
  • The problem: You're reinforcing a belief that you can't find freedom
  • Maslow's Hierarchy explained: Basic needs → Psychological needs → Self-fulfillment
  • Why you can't function without basic needs met (food, water, sleep, safety, stability)
  • How the eating disorder hijacks your brain and keeps you from meeting essential needs
  • Why low self-esteem and broken relationships stem from unmet BASIC needs
  • The shift: Stop focusing on what you want to change, start focusing on who you want to BECOME
  • One challenge: Do one thing every day you don't want to do
  • How to validate your feelings, own your needs, and grant yourself permission
  • The truth: No one is going to recover FOR you—you have to do something about it

The wake-up call: You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you.

MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS & ED RECOVERY

The 5-Tier Model:

1. BASIC/SURVIVAL NEEDS (Foundation) Food, water, air, sleep, shelter, clothing, safety, stability, predictability

The problem: When your brain has been hijacked by an eating disorder, you're not even getting these basic needs met. Without nourishment, you literally can't function.

2. PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS (Built on Basic Needs) Social connections, relationships, self-esteem, confidence, intimate connection, friendships, accomplishments, independence, self-respect

The truth: If your basic needs aren't met, your psychological needs WON'T be met. This is why you have low self-esteem. This is why relationships feel broken.

3. SELF-FULFILLMENT NEEDS (Top of Pyramid) Problem-solving, growth, exploration, creativity, purpose, meaning

The reality: You can't get here if you're not nourishing your body. Without basic needs met, self-fulfillment is impossible.

THE SHIFT: FROM RECOVERING TO BECOMING

Stop asking: "How do I recover from this eating disorder?"

Start asking:

  • Who do I need to BECOME to gain freedom?
  • What does freedom look like to me?
  • What are my NOW needs?
  • What can I do TODAY to honor where I want to go TOMORROW?

The truth: Your past and current distorted identity has created your current reality. It sabotages your success. This false identity creates negative habits that lead to negative outcomes—and reinforces the cycle.

The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you CAN'T.

YOUR NOW NEEDS: THE CHALLENGE

This week, do ONE thing every day that you don't want to do.

Then ask yourself:

  • How am I currently meeting my needs today?
  • What needs do I need met RIGHT NOW?
  • Are my BASIC needs even being met?

Remember: Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into love, belonging, self-esteem, or purpose.

THE 4 STEPS TO HONOR YOUR NOW NEEDS

STEP 1: VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS & OWN YOUR NEEDS

Admit and identify a NOW need:

  • Do I need to eat breakfast earlier?
  • Do I need two more hours of sleep?
  • Do I need to feel safe and protected? How will I create that?

Set the goal of WHO you're becoming in the process.

STEP 2: GRANT YOURSELF PERMISSION & SET PRIORITIES

Give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST.

Permission + Priorities = Power

We give grace and compassion to everyone else, but struggle to do the same for ourselves. Today, WEAR permission. Rock it out.

STEP 3: REFLECT, PRAY, JOURNAL, THINK

Don't overthink. Just think.

Ask yourself:

  • What are my NOW needs?
  • What do I need to feel satisfied, purposeful, joyful, happy?
  • What do I have to do RIGHT NOW from a basic need standpoint to step into what I ultimately want for my life?

STEP 4: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

No one is going to recover FOR you. No one is going to:

  • Gain the weight for you
  • Sit in your head for you
  • Be at the finish line for you

You have to do something different.

Because the truth is: You can listen to this show on repeat, but if you don't DO something about it, you're going to sit here stuck.

THE TRUTH ABOUT RECOVERY

When I actually recovered from my eating disorder, I didn't recognize my old self. I didn't even know who she was. I was fully transformed.

Recovery isn't about checking a box. You still wake up. You still look at yourself in the mirror. You're still learning, growing, doing, BECOMING.

Change your focus: From what you're trying to achieve → To WHO you need to be to achieve it.

KEY QUOTES

💛 "If you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. I want you to set the goal of what recovery will make OF you."

💛 "This journey is about BECOMING. And becoming requires DOING."

💛 "The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you can't."

💛 "Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into the next level of needs like love and belonging."

💛 "You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you."

💛 "No one was going to recover for me. No one was going to be at the finish line. No one was going to gain the weight for me. No one was going to sit in my own head but me."

💛 "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If not, you'll just find another excuse." - Jim Rohn

💛 "Stop focusing on what you want to change. Start focusing on who you want to BECOME."

💛 "Your purpose on this planet is not to be worried about your body. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently."

THE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF

"What am I doing right now TODAY that my future self is going to love me for?"

If you want to be recovered, you have to DO something to get there.

WHAT ARE YOUR NOW NEEDS?

Identify ONE need right now:

  • Accountability?
  • Community?
  • A really good meal?
  • Permission to rest?
  • Setting boundaries?
  • Surrendering?

What is the ONE thing you need right now in your heart, in your life?

Then DO something about it.

READY TO MEET YOUR NOW NEEDS WITH SUPPORT?

💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY

Join our private Facebook community for support, accountability, and connection.

👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com 

💛 1:1 RECOVERY COACHING

If your NOW need is support and accountability to finally move forward—let's partner together.

👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application

Your purpose on this planet is NOT to be worried about your body, the scale, or the label. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU.

But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

 

EP 269: 💜Eating Disorder Awareness 2026💜 ~ Ozempic, Social Media & Rising Trends Every Woman Should Know13 févr. 202600:19:25

February is Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And if you're stuck in quasi-recovery, telling yourself "I'm fine," avoiding help because you're ashamed—this is your wake-up call.

I'm sharing 2026 statistics you haven't heard, alarming trends getting WORSE, and the truth about Ozempic, social media, and eating disorders.

Because sis, you are not a statistic. At least not a negative one.

But you need to hear this.

What you'll learn:

  • Why eating disorders increased 15% since 2020 (28.8 million Americans affected)
  • The shocking truth: Every 52 minutes someone dies, only 10% get treatment
  • Midlife crisis: 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65
  • Ozempic danger: 300% prescription increase, 40% of users have ED histories, 45% relapse when stopping
  • Social media impact: 3+ hours/day = 60% higher ED risk
  • Post-pandemic fallout: 25-30% global increase still climbing
  • My story: When I refused to be a negative statistic
  • 3-question self-assessment to know if you need help NOW

The wake-up call: Every day you wait, you're missing out on life.

KEY STATISTICS

📊 28.8 million Americans will have an ED in their lifetime (15% increase since 2020) 📊 Every 52 minutes someone dies from an eating disorder 📊 Only 10% receive treatment (women 40+ wait 6-8 years longer) 📊 42% increase in midlife ED hospitalizations (women 45-65) 📊 60% higher ED risk with 3+ hours daily social media use 📊 300% increase in Ozempic/GLP-1 prescriptions (60-70% for weight loss, not diabetes) 📊 40% increase in ED patients requesting weight loss drugs 📊 45% relapse rate when stopping GLP-1s (rapid weight regain triggers ED) 📊 25-30% global increase in EDs since 2020 (still climbing)

THE 5 ALARMING TRENDS

1. MIDLIFE EATING DISORDERS EXPLODING 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65. If you're over 40 thinking "I'm too old for this"—you're wrong.

2. SOCIAL MEDIA FEEDING THE CRISIS 3+ hours/day = 60% higher risk. #Ozempic has 1.3 billion views. You're being fed anti-aging, menopause weight loss, restriction disguised as wellness.

3. OZEMPIC NORMALIZING DISORDERED EATING 12 million Americans using GLP-1s. 30% of ED treatment centers treating patients whose ED was triggered by these drugs. These suppress appetite, reinforce that hunger is the enemy, bypass actual healing.

Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or medicalizing my eating disorder?

4. DIET CULTURE AS "WELLNESS" Orthorexia rising. Gluten-free, intermittent fasting, cleanses—these are eating disorders in disguise. If you have rigid food rules and anxiety around "unclean" foods, that's disordered eating.

5. POST-PANDEMIC CRISIS CONTINUES Six years later, anxiety up, depression up, eating disorders up. If your ED got worse during the pandemic and you've been saying "later"—later is NOW.

LINDSEY'S STORY

Years ago, someone told me most people with eating disorders don't fully recover. That I'd probably struggle forever. That the odds were against me.

Something inside me snapped. I got angry—not at them, but at the eating disorder.

So I decided: I'm not going to be that statistic. I refuse.

I stopped avoiding, denying, pretending. I got help. I did the work. I recovered.

I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic.

And you can be too.

3-QUESTION SELF-ASSESSMENT

Answer honestly:

  1. Am I engaging in unhealthy behaviors but telling myself they're "not that bad"? (Skipping meals, restricting, overexercising, weighing obsessively, purging, binging, using appetite suppressants)
  2. Am I avoiding help because I'm ashamed, scared, or in denial? ("I'll deal with it later," "I can handle it alone," "It's not serious enough")
  3. Is my relationship with food/body stealing my joy, energy, presence, LIFE? (Missing moments, obsessing, sacrificing relationships, constant anxiety)

If you said YES to even ONE: You need support!

THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO TODAY
  1. Share this episode with someone who needs it
  2. Do the self-assessment - be honest
  3. If you need help—REACH OUT

Don't wait 6-8 more years. Don't become another statistic. Don't waste the second half of your life.

You deserve recovery. You deserve freedom. You deserve to LIVE.

WORK WITH LINDSEY

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, access to me.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep work to reclaim your life. Limited spots available.

www.herbestself.co 

 

KEY QUOTES

💛 "You are not a statistic. At least not a negative one." 💛 "Every 52 minutes, someone loses their life to this illness." 💛 "If you're waiting for it to get bad enough, you're already in danger." 💛 "Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or am I just medicalizing my eating disorder?" 💛 "I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too." 💛 "Every day you wait, you're missing the second half of your life."

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worthy of support and love. 

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

 

EP 268.5: If I Was Trapped in My Eating Disorder Right Now, Here's Exactly What I'd Do ~ The No BS Relapse Recovery Roadmap10 févr. 202600:22:02

The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap to help you define what steps you can take to recommit to recovery.

Today's episode is different. I'm not speaking in theoretical terms or giving advice I wouldn't follow myself. I'm sharing exactly what I would do if I was trapped in an eating disorder right now. The actual steps. The concrete path forward. The golden nugget roadmap I would follow myself.

Whether you're experiencing a relapse, stuck in your recovery, or wish you could go back and tell your younger self what to do—this episode is your clear, actionable guide.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • The 6-step roadmap I'd follow if I was trapped in an eating disorder today
  • Why relapse is normal and doesn't mean you've failed
  • Step 1: Recognition and acceptance—how to get out of denial faster
  • Step 2: Immediate outreach—breaking the isolation that keeps you stuck
  • Step 3: Implementing structure—what to do RIGHT NOW to support yourself
  • Step 4: Investigating triggers—what's really driving this beneath the surface
  • Step 5: Developing a crisis response plan—how to create lasting recovery
  • Step 6: Reconnecting with your WHY—the values your ED is violating
  • What I wish I could tell my younger self 15+ years ago
  • Why recovery isn't about perfection—it's about progress
  • How to recommit to your best self starting TODAY

If you're in the trenches, if you've relapsed, if you're struggling—this roadmap is for you. Not theory. Just honest, practical steps.

THE 6-STEP RECOVERY ROADMAP

STEP 1: RECOGNITION AND ACCEPTANCE

The hardest step: Admitting where you are is no longer where you want to be.

If I was relapsing today, I know I'd experience a strong pull toward denial. I might tell myself:

  • "I'm just being more careful about what I eat"
  • "I'm having a few bad days"
  • "I can handle this on my own"

What I'd do instead: ✅ Name what's happening - Get out of denial faster ✅ Ask myself: Am I skipping meals? Preoccupied with food thoughts? Anxious around mealtimes? Weighing myself? ✅ Practice self-compassion - Not excusing the behavior, but acknowledging eating disorders are complex illnesses, not personal failures ✅ Say to myself: "This is really hard. I don't have to do this alone."

This step creates the foundation to move forward in ACTION instead of sitting in denial.

STEP 2: IMMEDIATE OUTREACH

Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION.

What I'd do:

✅ Contact someone I trust - In my case, my mom. I'd say: "I'm struggling with my thoughts and behaviors. I need support."

✅ Get professional help immediately

  • If I had a treatment team: Contact them and say "I'm experiencing relapse. I need an appointment ASAP."
  • If I didn't: Call primary care doctor, get a referral, look into local ED treatment centers

✅ Get accountability - Schedule meals, keep appointments with myself, check in with someone

Key truth: Don't wait until things get "bad enough." Early intervention makes a tremendous difference.

Breaking isolation doesn't mean everyone needs to know. It means strategically connecting with people who can provide support.

STEP 3: IMPLEMENTING STRUCTURE

What I'd put in place immediately:

✅ Regular eating patterns - Have a plan ready, no reinventing the wheel during vulnerable times. Use the same meals daily to reduce decision fatigue.

✅ Clean up social media & entertainment

  • Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison or food obsession
  • Avoid shows glorifying thinness or dieting
  • Curate recovery-supportive content
  • Join communities like Her Best Self Society (HerBestSelfSociety.com)

✅ Set clear boundaries with exercise - Temporarily pause formalized exercise, focus on gentle movement (This requires support—I couldn't do this alone)

✅ Document thoughts & feelings - Not to be perfect, but to increase awareness of patterns and triggers. Rebuild trust with body and mind.

Structure = support. Not rigidity, but safety.

STEP 4: INVESTIGATING TRIGGERS

Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface?

Questions I'd ask myself:

❓ What changes in my life have happened recently? (Transition, loss, increased responsibility, relationship change) ❓ What emotions am I struggling to manage? ❓ What am I trying to numb, distract from, or control? ❓ What needs aren't being met right now? ❓ What external pressures am I responding to? ❓ What beliefs am I believing about my worth, body, or identity?

The truth: Eating disorders flare during periods of change and loss of control. Understanding triggers helps you heal beyond just the behaviors—you learn to process emotions in healthier ways.

STEP 5: DEVELOPING A CRISIS RESPONSE PLAN

Lasting recovery requires more than just putting out fires.

What I'd create:

✅ Coping strategies - Tools to use when urges arise ✅ Relapse prevention plan - Document early warning signs, high-risk situations, actions to take ✅ Support system - Who to call, when, and why

The sustainable plan is about building a life where:

  • The eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful
  • Recovery feels like moving TOWARD something meaningful
  • Not just running away from illness

Work with someone to determine exactly what support you need and put that planning in place.

STEP 6: RECONNECTING WITH YOUR WHY

The most important step: Remember what the eating disorder is stealing from you.

What I'd do:

✅ Identify the values my ED violates The ED promises control, safety, worth. But it actually undermines: freedom, joy, creativity, authenticity, relationships, purpose.

✅ Compile a list: What has this ED taken from me?

  • Holidays ruined
  • Relationships lost
  • Moments with loved ones missed
  • Energy wasted
  • Dreams on hold
  • Future opportunities destroyed

✅ Ask: What present moments is it stealing RIGHT NOW? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this?

✅ Dream beyond the disorder - What do I want my life to look like? Who is my BEST self?

If I could go back 15+ years and tell my younger self:

"You're gonna go through this godawful period, but on the other side is MAGICAL. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE. Start dreaming NOW of the vision beyond this disorder."

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap."

💛 "If you're experiencing a relapse, this is very normal. It doesn't mean you failed. It simply means you're human."

💛 "Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION."

💛 "Don't wait until things get 'bad enough.' Early intervention makes a tremendous difference."

💛 "Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface?"

💛 "The sustainable plan is about building a life where the eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful."

💛 "What has this eating disorder taken from me? What present moments is it stealing? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this?"

💛 "Recovery isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about progress, not perfection. Every compassionate moment with yourself is a victory."

💛 "Recovery isn't a destination you reach once and for all. These are skills you're learning."

💛 "You haven't failed. You've simply encountered another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit to the path toward freedom."

💛 "Whether this is your first day in recovery or your thousandth, whether you're thriving or struggling, you're worthy of support, compassion, and a life free from these constraints."

💛 "Recovery isn't just possible—with the right support and recommitment, it's inevitable."

THE TRUTH ABOUT RELAPSE

Relapse is NORMAL. It's part of recovery.

✅ It doesn't mean you've failed ✅ It means you're human ✅ It's another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit ✅ Reaching out for support is courage, not weakness

If you're in a relapse right now, you're not alone.

WHAT I WISH I COULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF

If I could go back 15+ years:

"Friend, you're gonna have to go through this godawful period of your life, but on the other side is going to be MAGICAL. It's going to be so good. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE."

"Start dreaming RIGHT NOW of the vision you want beyond the eating disorder."

"Ask yourself: What has this disorder taken from me? What is it stealing from my present? What future will be destroyed if I don't fix this?"

READY TO TAKE ACTION? WORK WITH LINDSEY

If you're struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder that's been around for decades, and you're tired and fed up—I want to help you.

I feel called to help as many women as possible get to the other side and recover from this devastating illness.

Here's your personal invitation: Let's take this up a notch.

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

This is where my gift shines. I'm able to get you RESULTS. We work together on tiny wins that lead to massive overcoming and triumph.

I'm opening the doors to take on a few additional clients. If you've been on the fence about working with a recovery coach—now's the time.

Don't wait. Commit to your future self.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application

We'll get on the phone together and talk about what you need to navigate next steps in your recovery journey.

💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY

Join our private Facebook community where you'll be with like-minded individuals focused on recovery, not thinness.

👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com 

EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE

If you're in a relapse or currently struggling: REACH OUT.

Don't wait another year. Don't wait another decade. The perfect time is NOW.

+Share this episode with a woman who needs to hear this.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

 

EP 268: Eating Disorders in Midlife ~ Women 40+ Are Finally Recovering After Decades (Here's Why NOW Is the Perfect Time)06 févr. 202600:24:30

I just turned 40 last month. And I don't know what shifts inside at midlife, but something changes when you hit this milestone. You start asking different questions:

"Is this it?" "Is this who I really am?" "Is this all there is for me?"

And if you've been battling an eating disorder for decades—maybe 10 years, maybe 20, maybe 30—you're asking an even harder question:

"Who am I without this?"

It's Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And this year, I want to talk about something we don't talk about enough—eating disorders in midlife.

Did you know that eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade? And yet, we still act like eating disorders are just a "young woman's problem."

But if you're a woman in your late 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, and you're still struggling, I see you. This is NOT just a young woman's issue. And this episode? This one's for you.

Because here's the truth: Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too. And when those two collide, it can feel overwhelming.

But what if this collision isn't a crisis at all? What if it's a crossroads? What if midlife is the PERFECT time to finally break free?

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
  • Why midlife identity crisis and ED identity crisis are shockingly similar
  • The statistics: 42% increase in ED hospitalizations for women 45-65, 13% of women over 50 engage in disordered eating
  • Why more women are reaching out for support in midlife (and why that's powerful)
  • The 5 reasons why NOW is the perfect season to go all in on recovery
  • Why menopause/perimenopause can actually SUPPORT your recovery, not hinder it
  • How to answer "I've had this for 30 years—how can I possibly recover now?"
  • Real client stories: Women who recovered at 47, 52, and 61
  • What life AFTER ED in midlife actually looks like
  • The reframe: This isn't a crisis, it's a crossroads
  • Why the second half of your life is waiting for you to reclaim it
KEY QUOTES

💛 "Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too."

💛 "In midlife you ask: 'Who am I now that my kids don't need me?' In ED recovery you ask: 'Who am I without my eating disorder?' And the hardest question: 'I don't recognize myself anymore. So who AM I?'"

💛 "Eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade. This is NOT just a young woman's issue."

💛 "You don't want to waste the second half of your life still trapped in this. You've already given the eating disorder the first half. You're not giving it the second."

💛 "Your body is changing whether you restrict or not. So what if you nourished it through this transition instead of punishing it?"

💛 "The question isn't 'How can I recover during menopause?' The question is 'How can I NOT recover during menopause?'

💛 "Recovery doesn't have an age limit. And it's not too late for you. The only thing that's too late? Waiting another decade to start."

💛 "This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. Midlife isn't the end. It's the beginning of the second half."

💛 "This is YOUR era. This is YOUR time."

THE STATISTICS

📊 42% increase in eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 in the last decade 📊 13% of women over 50 report disordered eating behaviors 📊 62% of women in midlife report weight and shape concerns significantly impact quality of life 📊 Women who seek treatment in their 40s and 50s have recovery rates comparable to—and sometimes BETTER than—younger women

The truth: It is NOT too late.

THE 5 REASONS WHY MIDLIFE IS THE PERFECT TIME TO RECOVER

1. You're running out of patience, not time You've tried everything. You're DONE. That urgency is your fuel.

2. "If not now, then when?" You're not wasting the second half of your life on this.

3. Your kids need less of you = space for YOU Finally, permission to ask: "What do I need?"

4. You're wiser now You're chasing presence, connection, LIFE—not perfection.

5. You have the resources now Financial, emotional, relational—you're ready to invest in yourself.

MENOPAUSE & RECOVERY: WHY THEY WORK TOGETHER

Your body is changing whether you restrict or not → Nourish it through the transition

Hormonal shifts require MORE nourishment, not less → Support bone density, muscle mass, mental health

Perimenopause forces you to let go of control → Exactly what recovery requires

Recovery sets you up for a healthier second half → Bone health, heart health, energy, longevity

REAL CLIENT STORIES

✨ Age 52: 33 years with bulimia. Today she's free, travels, eats without fear, rebuilding relationships.

✨ Age 47: Restricted her entire adult life. Today she's in the best health of her life—strong, energized, PRESENT.

✨ Age 61: "I spent 40 years believing I'd never be free. But I'm free now. And I have so much life left to live."

WHAT LIFE AFTER ED IN MIDLIFE LOOKS LIKE

🌟 You wake up without immediately thinking about food or your body 🌟 You eat breakfast without guilt 🌟 You have ENERGY for work, passions, relationships 🌟 You're PRESENT with the people you love 🌟 You look in the mirror and recognize yourself—the REAL you 🌟 You travel, try new things, LIVE 🌟 You answer "Is this it?" with "No. This is just the beginning."

THE REFRAME

This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads.

You get to decide: Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What do I want my legacy to be?

And the eating disorder? It doesn't get a vote.

READY TO RECLAIM THE SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE?

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, support.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep, transformational work to reclaim YOUR life. This is YOUR era.

👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application

EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE

If you're in midlife and still struggling: REACH OUT.

Don't wait another year. Don't wait another decade. The perfect time is NOW.

Share this episode with a woman in midlife who needs to hear this.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

 

EP 267.5: The Cost of Perfection ~ “Be Thin but Not Too Thin” (& Other Impossible Standards Destroying Your Mental Health)03 févr. 202600:15:52

The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted.

Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful.

If you're with me and you experience the pressure to be perfect, this is a perfect paradox—and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health and that are so tied to eating disorders.

In this episode, I'm diving into the relentless pressure to be perfect and how it's literally rewiring your brain to keep you stuck. Whether you're just starting your recovery journey or you've been on this path for years, perfectionism might feel like both an old friend and your biggest obstacle.

And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready? The output you receive is simply exhaustion.

You're exhausted, sis. And trying to live up to these impossible standards. But today, we're going to dissect this. We're going to look at what science says about breaking free. Because you don't just have to take my word for it—research shows your brain can actually change.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • The impossible standards we're all trying to live up to (and why they're literally impossible)
  • The shocking statistics: 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism
  • Why perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors
  • The deep roots of perfectionism: family dynamics, trauma, social media (users who spend 3+ hours/day are 60% more likely to develop body image issues)
  • The neuroscience: How perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's "error detection center"
  • How altered serotonin and dopamine systems make it harder for perfectionists to feel "good enough" or satisfied
  • The vicious cycle: threat detection → anxiety → perfectionist behaviors → temporary relief → reinforced neural pathways
  • The HOPE: How mindfulness, self-compassion, and exposure to imperfection can actually change your brain
  • Why true recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and start doing it honestly
  • A powerful devotional insight: "God won't bless who you pretend to be"
  • The truth: Your worth isn't measured by impossible standards—it's measured by your courage to show up

If you're tired of being tired, if you're exhausted from trying to be "perfect," if you feel stuck in the perfect paradox—this episode will give you both the science and the hope you need to break free.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted."

💛 "Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. This is a perfect paradox and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health."

💛 "That perfection you're chasing? It's like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. Not humanly possible. It's just not possible."

💛 "I remember thinking that if I could just get everything perfect—my meals, my exercise, my body—then finally I'd be enough."

💛 "Research shows that up to 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism. And perfectionism often appears even years before any eating disorder behaviors."

💛 "Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like this oversensitive alarm system that's constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or for mistakes."

💛 "The 'feel good' chemical—serotonin—is altered if you're a perfectionist, meaning the chemical that affects your mood regulation, your satisfaction, and the ability to feel good enough is altered."

💛 "Altered dopamine reward circuits make it harder to feel satisfied. It makes it harder for you to feel good enough. This creates that constant drive, that constant need to do better, to achieve more, to be smaller."

💛 "This cycle is created: Your threat detection system becomes hyperactive. This leads to increased anxiety. Anxiety triggers perfectionist behaviors. This gives you temporary relief. But it simply reinforces the cycle."

💛 "There is hope. With mindfulness practices, with self-compassion, with the opposite of perfection—being exposed to situations where you're almost forced to be imperfect—research shows you can actually change that hyperactivity in the brain."

💛 "Even if you feel like recovery is impossible, even if you feel like you've been doing this forever, I want you to understand that there is a neurobiological connection and research shows you can change. Your brain can change."

💛 "True recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and you start doing it honestly."

💛 "In a world filled with protocol, a never-ending list of do's and don'ts, and the pressure to be perfect, it can seem impossible to discover who you really are. But God uniquely made you. Nothing about you is a mistake, and He won't bless who you pretend to be."

💛 "Stop conforming, stop shrinking, stop dimming your light, and stop running from who and what you were always made to be."

💛 "Recovery is not about being perfect. It's about being present. It's about being real. It's about being gentle with you."

💛 "Your worth isn't measured by the ability to meet impossible standards, but it is measured by your courage to show up."

THE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS (THE PERFECT PARADOX)

You're trying to live up to contradictions that are literally impossible:

❌ Be thin, but not too thin ❌ Be confident, but not overly confident ❌ Be successful, but not too successful ❌ Be perfect with your meals, exercise, and body—then maybe you'll be enough

The reality? These standards are like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. They're not humanly possible.

And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready, the output is exhaustion.

Of course you're tired. Of course you're tired of being tired. It is impossible living up to these standards.

THE STATISTICS: PERFECTIONISM & EATING DISORDERS

68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism

Perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors - making it a crucial early warning sign

Perfectionism remains elevated even AFTER recovery - making it a crucial focus in treatment and why so many people find themselves stuck in the "messy middle" of recovery

Social media impact: Users who spend 3+ hours a day on social media are 60% more likely to develop body image issues

THE DEEP ROOTS: WHERE PERFECTIONISM COMES FROM

Your perfectionism didn't just appear out of nowhere. It has roots:

🌱 Early environmental factors:

  • Family dynamics
  • Parental expectations
  • Academic and achievement pressure

🌱 Early exposure to:

  • Diet culture
  • Specific body ideals
  • Trauma and childhood experiences

🌱 Social media's impact:

  • Constant comparison
  • Curated perfection
  • Impossible standards reinforced daily
THE NEUROSCIENCE: WHAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR BRAIN

1. HEIGHTENED ERROR DETECTION CENTER

Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like an oversensitive alarm system constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or mistakes.

This hyperactivity creates a feedback loop of anxiety and self-criticism. This is how your brain keeps you "safe"—but it's also what keeps you stuck.

2. ALTERED SEROTONIN (THE "FEEL GOOD" CHEMICAL)

Perfectionists often show altered functioning in serotonin—the chemical that affects:

  • Mood regulation
  • Satisfaction
  • The ability to feel "good enough"

Translation: It's harder for you to feel satisfied or content. This explains why perfectionism often co-occurs with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.

3. ALTERED DOPAMINE (THE "REWARD" CHEMICAL)

Perfectionists also show altered dopamine reward circuits, which means:

  • It's harder to feel satisfied
  • It's harder to feel "good enough"
  • You have a constant drive to do better, achieve more, be smaller

4. ELEVATED CORTISOL (THE "STRESS" HORMONE)

Constant stress and elevated cortisol levels:

  • Make relaxation and self-acceptance SO much more challenging
  • Impact immune function and physical health
  • Worsen eating disorder symptoms (because you're stressed, tired, not eating enough to nourish your body)

5. REDUCED COGNITIVE FLEXIBILITY

All of this makes it harder for you to:

  • Be flexible in your thinking
  • Accept the concept of not being perfect
  • Navigate uncertainty
THE VICIOUS CYCLE: HOW PERFECTIONISM KEEPS YOU STUCK

Here's how the cycle works:

1. Threat Detection System on Overdrive Your brain's alarm system becomes hyperactive

↓

2. Increased Anxiety Anxiety about failure, not being good enough, rejection, not being worthy

↓

3. Perfectionist Behaviors Triggered Insert unhealthy eating disorder coping mechanisms

↓

4. Temporary Relief You get a hit of that "feel superior" chemical because you feel in control

↓

5. Cycle Reinforced This strengthens the neural pathway over time—like digging a ditch deeper and deeper in your mind

↓

REPEAT

This is why it feels like you're literally crawling out of your skin. You want to do something differently, but you're not. The action is hard.

If you're there, I see you. I get it.

THE HOPE: YOUR BRAIN CAN CHANGE

Here's the beautiful truth: Your brain can actually change.

With: ✅ Mindfulness practices ✅ Self-compassion ✅ Exposure to imperfection (being in situations where you're forced to be imperfect and there's nothing you can do about it) ✅ New learning experiences (exposures)

Research shows you can:

  • Change that hyperactivity in the brain
  • Improve serotonin function
  • Create newer and healthier neural pathways

That ditch can stop digging in one place and move to a different place in your brain that's gonna create healthier results for you.

THE TRUTH: EVEN IF YOU FEEL STUCK, CHANGE IS POSSIBLE

Even if:

  • You feel like recovery is impossible
  • You feel like you've been doing this forever
  • You identify with being a perfectionist with structure and rigid routines
  • You feel like maybe it's possible for HER to recover, but not for YOU

I want you to understand: There is a neurobiological connection. Research shows you can change. Your brain can change.

You can create absolutely new and healthier pathways.

WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU

You don't have to: ❌ Be thin, but not too thin ❌ Be confident, but not overly confident ❌ Be the most successful to be enough

True recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and you start doing it honestly.

Just getting honest with yourself. Looking at the research. Pointing to the facts.

Science shows: Changes in your brain are possible.

It's the exposure to being imperfect. It's creating self-compassion within you. It's putting yourself in new experiences.

This is just collecting data. We're just trying to put ourselves in this experiment. What does that teach us?

THE HARD TRUTH

As we go into a new month, ask yourself:

Are you showing up day after day exactly as you are? Or are you playing a role of who it is that you desire to be—yet you're not even happy in that version?

Recovery is measured by your courage to show up exactly as you are. Authentically.

YOUR REFLECTION QUESTION

What is one area where perfectionism really shows up for you right now?

Come share with us: 💛 Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 Instagram DM: @thelindseynichol

I want to bring awareness about perfection. Because we hear "life isn't about being perfect"—but we don't actually LIVE that, sis.

THE CLOSING TRUTH

Recovery is not about being perfect. Life is not about being perfect.

It's about: ✨ Being present ✨ Being real with the real people you have here now ✨ Being gentle with you

Your worth isn't measured by the ability to meet impossible standards.

It's measured by your courage to show up.

NEED SUPPORT TO BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM? WORK WITH LINDSEY

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

My group coaching community where women come together to heal, let go of perfectionism, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets you.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work to rewire your perfectionist brain and finally find freedom—let's work together.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 267: Stop 'Shoulding' All Over Yourself ~ The One Word Keeping You Stuck in Your ED & How to Break Free30 janv. 202600:19:40

There's ONE word that's absolutely destroying your progress in recovery. One word that's keeping you stuck, paralyzed, and living in a constant state of shame and disappointment.

That word? Should.

And sis, you need to stop shoulding all over yourself. Like, right now. Today.

Because every time you tell yourself what you "should" be doing, what you "should" have accomplished by now, where you "should" be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action.

In this episode, I'm breaking down the science behind why "should" keeps you stuck, where all these "shoulds" come from in the first place, and giving you 5 powerful reframes you can start using TODAY to break free from the shame cycle and actually move forward.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • The ONE word you need to stop using if you want to become the best version of yourself
  • Where your "shoulds" come from (diet culture, perfectionism, family expectations, trauma, comparison)
  • The science: Why "should" is the language of obligation, not empowerment
  • Research from Stanford showing how "should" keeps your brain stuck in self-criticism instead of problem-solving
  • How "shoulding" shows up specifically in eating disorder recovery
  • Lindsey's personal story: "I should be over this by now" (like a bad boyfriend from 3 months ago)
  • 5 powerful reframes to replace your "shoulds" with choice and compassion
  • Why you're not behind, not failing, and not broken
  • The edge: How to stop using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck
  • A tangible homework assignment to catch yourself "shoulding" and reframe it

If you've ever thought "I should eat this," "I should start today," "I should be further along," or "I should be over this by now"—this episode is your wake-up call.

Stop shoulding. Start choosing. Become who you're BECOMING, not who you "should" be.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "Every time you tell yourself what you 'should' be doing, what you 'should' have accomplished by now, where you 'should' be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action."

💛 "Your 'shoulds' didn't just appear out of nowhere. They were planted. They were taught. They were absorbed from every message you've ever received about who you're supposed to be."

💛 "These 'shoulds' create this distortion in your mind that where you currently are is SO far behind where you 'should' be. And so you live in this constant state of not enough."

💛 "'Should' is the language of obligation, not empowerment. It's the language of shame, not choice."

💛 "When we focus on what we 'should' be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap that we can't actually take action to close it."

💛 "'Should' keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do."

💛 "I remember thinking, 'I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?' And I felt so much shame."

💛 "I asked a different question: 'But should I? Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection from myself?' And the answer? No."

💛 "You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script."

💛 "If you're constantly 'shoulding' yourself but not taking action, you're using 'should' as an excuse to stay stuck."

💛 "Stop talking about what you 'should' do and start choosing what you WILL do."

💛 "The words you use shape the life you live. And if you're constantly shoulding yourself, you're living in a prison of obligation and shame."

THE SCIENCE: WHY "SHOULD" KEEPS YOU STUCK

Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, identified "should statements" as one of the core irrational beliefs that lead to emotional disturbance. He called it "shoulding" and "musturbation"—the belief that things MUST or SHOULD be a certain way. When reality doesn't match that "should," we experience anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study: People who use obligatory language like "should," "must," and "have to" experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of intrinsic motivation compared to people who use choice-based language like "choose to," "want to," or "could."

Stanford University research: When we focus on what we "should" be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap between where we are and where we "should" be that we can't actually take action to close that gap.

The bottom line: "Should" keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do.

WHERE YOUR "SHOULDS" COME FROM

Your "shoulds" were planted, taught, and absorbed from:

❌ Diet culture - You should be smaller, eat clean, have willpower, look like her ❌ Perfectionism - You should have this figured out, be recovered already, do this better ❌ Family expectations - You should make everyone proud, not cause problems, be strong ❌ Past trauma - You should have prevented it, known better, be over it by now ❌ Comparison - You should be as far along as she is, making more progress, be different

These create a distortion that where you currently are is SO far behind where you "should" be. And that's exhausting—and it's keeping you stuck.

HOW "SHOULDING" SHOWS UP IN ED RECOVERY

"I should eat this." → Implies obligation, not choice. Strips away agency. Builds resentment, not trust.

"I should start today." → Implies you're behind, late, already failed before you begin. Starts with shame instead of hope.

"I should be further along by now." → Assumes there's a timeline you're supposed to be on. Ignores YOUR unique journey.

"I should be able to eat normally." → Rooted in comparison and unrealistic expectations. Ignores the reality of YOUR story.

"I should be over this by now." → The killer. Creates shame for being human and healing at your own pace.

LINDSEY'S PERSONAL STORY

Years into recovery, Lindsey still had moments where the eating disorder voice crept back in. One day she thought:

"I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?"

She felt intense shame. What's wrong with me? Why am I not fully healed?

But then she stopped and asked a different question: "But should I?"

Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection? Should I shame myself for being human?

The answer? No.

The reframe: "I'm healing at my own pace. And that's exactly what I need to be doing."

Just like that, the shame lifted. The pressure lifted. And she could actually move forward instead of staying stuck in self-judgment.

THE 5 POWERFUL REFRAMES

REFRAME #1:

❌ Instead of: "I should eat this." ✅ Say: "I choose to nourish my body with this." or "I'm giving my body what it needs."

Why it works: Choice language = empowerment. You're not obligated. You're making a conscious decision.

REFRAME #2:

❌ Instead of: "I should start today." ✅ Say: "I'm ready to begin today." or "Today is a great day to take the next step."

Why it works: Removes the shame of being "behind" and replaces it with readiness and hope.

REFRAME #3:

❌ Instead of: "I should be further along by now." ✅ Say: "I'm exactly where I need to be in my journey." or "I'm making progress, even if it doesn't look like I thought it would."

Why it works: Honors your unique timeline and removes comparison. Progress isn't linear.

REFRAME #4:

❌ Instead of: "I should be able to eat normally." ✅ Say: "I'm learning to eat in a way that honors my body." or "I'm building a new relationship with food, and that takes time."

Why it works: Removes unrealistic expectations and replaces them with patience and self-compassion.

REFRAME #5:

❌ Instead of: "I should be over this by now." ✅ Say: "I'm healing at my own pace, and that's exactly what I need." or "Recovery is a journey, not a destination. I'm on my way."

Why it works: Gives you permission to be human. To heal in YOUR time. To stop rushing the process.

THE COMPASSIONATE TRUTH

You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken.

You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script. It doesn't follow a timeline. It doesn't look the same for everyone.

When you stop "shoulding" yourself, you create space for what's actually true:

✅ You're doing the best you can with what you have right now ✅ You're allowed to be imperfect ✅ You're allowed to take your time ✅ You're allowed to choose yourself without shame

When you replace "should" with choice, compassion, and truth—you unlock the ability to actually MOVE FORWARD instead of staying stuck in self-judgment.

THE EDGE: STOP USING "SHOULD" AS AN EXCUSE

If you're constantly "shoulding" yourself but not taking action, you're using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck.

  • "I should start recovery" becomes a way to avoid actually starting
  • "I should eat better" becomes a way to avoid actually nourishing yourself
  • "I should be further along" becomes a way to avoid doing the work to GET further along

The challenge: Stop talking about what you "should" do and start choosing what you WILL do.

Not because you have to. Not because you're obligated. But because you WANT freedom. Because you're READY to heal. Because you CHOOSE yourself.

YOUR HOMEWORK: CATCH & REFRAME

Catch yourself "shoulding" three times today. Just three.

When you do, pause and ask yourself:

  1. Where did this "should" come from?
  2. Is it true? Or is it just an expectation I'm putting on myself?
  3. What would I say instead if I spoke to myself with compassion?

Then reframe it using one of the five reframes above (or create your own).

Write it down. Say it out loud. Let your brain hear a different story.

Because the words you use shape the life you live.

READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY

💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY

Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list

💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH

If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you.

We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life.

👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit 

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 
EP 266: You Won't Recover If You Don't Believe You Can ~ Here's How to Build That Belief (6 Proven Steps)27 janv. 202600:19:21

Let me be real with you: You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And you won't lean in if you don't believe it's possible.

This is the hardest thing about eating disorder recovery. Not the meal plan. Not the weight restoration. Not even the challenging of thoughts. It's the BELIEF. The belief that recovery from this terrible, horrifying, very no good, unfortunate eating disorder that has taken over your life is actually possible for YOU.

Maybe you listen to this podcast and think, "Great, Lindsey. I love that this is inspirational, but I'm just not sure I'm fully bought in to the possibility that I can experience freedom. That I could actually change."

If that's you, this episode is your game-changer + it's a ⭐ Fan Favorite that we knew we wanted to re-share with you this week.

Recently, I had conversations with women who asked me, "Lindsey, I love what you do, but how do you help these women create that belief that this is possible for them?" And I said, "That IS the hardest thing. It's believing that this is possible."

So today, I'm giving you a proven framework—a tangible acronym that spells out BELIEF—to help you overcome the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from your very best life.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why so many women stay stuck in the destructive cycle (hint: they don't believe freedom is possible)
  • The truth: Belief CAN be created, and it's a crucial step in the healing process
  • The BELIEF Framework: 6 proven steps to create unwavering faith in your recovery
  • B - Begin Small: Why trying to change everything at once keeps you stuck
  • E - Embrace Support: The game-changing power of working with someone specialized in ED recovery
  • L - Learn and Learn Again: How educating yourself builds reassurance and hope
  • I - Imagine Your Future: The science behind visualization and why your brain can't tell the difference
  • E - Establish Positive Practices: How to challenge negative thoughts and speak kinder to yourself
  • F - Focus on Why: Why your "why" is greater than your "now"
  • The powerful William James quote: "Belief creates actual fact"
  • Why recovery is scientifically and clinically possible (yes, even for you)
  • How to answer the question: "Can I believe there is something greater on the other side of all this?"

If you want to recover, if you want freedom so badly, if you're tired of running in circles, if you're exhausted from your unhealthy relationship with food and exercise—this episode will show you how to build the belief you need to finally break free.

Because if I can do it, then so can you, friend.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief."

💛 "If you choose to stay in that fixed mindset of 'I doubt myself, I will always be this way, there's no room for any of that freedom for me,' then that is where you will stay. But belief can be created."

💛 "A lot of women will stay stuck in this destructive cycle because they just don't believe that freedom's possible for them."

💛 "We are bounce back creatures. Anything is possible for us. But the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief."

💛 "It doesn't matter which direction you go, as long as you continue to look forward and you continue to build forward."

💛 "Well, if she can do it, why can't I?"

💛 "Understanding that recovery is scientifically and clinically possible—this is gonna build that reassurance for you and give your brain some safety that leads to hope with belief."

💛 "It does not matter if you've done something before or if you have visualized something before—if you can visualize it, you can become it. If you can visualize it, you can be it."

💛 "Trust that your why is greater than your now. Trust that your why is bigger than your present reality."

💛 "Belief creates actual fact." - William James, Father of American Psychology

💛 "Can I believe that there is something grander, that there is something greater on the other side of all this? Can I believe that there is something more for me than this? And if your answer's yes, you already have the belief you need right now to create the life that you want."

THE BELIEF FRAMEWORK: 6 PROVEN STEPS

This acronym will help you build the belief you need to recover. Grab a piece of paper and jot this down—or come back to this section whenever doubt creeps in.

THE POWERFUL TRUTH: BELIEF CREATES ACTUAL FACT

William James, the father of American psychology, stated: "Belief creates actual fact."

So when the enemy tries to steal your joy this week—when the enemy tries to bring you doubt and discouragement, when the enemy tries to have you staring at your step count, giving yourself shame thoughts, looking at your mirror and telling your body that you hate yourself—I want you to lean in.

Remember these core fundamentals to step into belief:

B - Begin Small E - Embrace Support L - Learn and Learn Again I - Imagine Freedom E - Establish Positive Practices F - Focus on Why

You have the power to believe in the process. Trust that you might not know all the answers, but you're striving to figure them out along the way.

READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY

💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY

Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list

💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH

If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you.

We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life.

👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit 

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 
EP 265: "Don't Try to Fix Her" ~ A Husband's Guide to Supporting His Wife in Eating Disorder Recovery with Kevin Nichol💙23 janv. 202600:40:21

Today is a very special episode. For the first time ever, I'm bringing on a guest. And not just any guest—my husband, Kevin.

If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I talk a lot about my recovery journey, the tools, the strategies, the mindset shifts. But what I don't talk about as much is the man behind the scenes. The man who supports me. The man who holds down the fort so I can record this podcast, run my business, and continue to show up for you every single week.

Kevin is that man. He's the anchor. And it's time for you to meet him.

Here's the truth: Recovery doesn't just affect the person struggling. It affects the whole family. And the support of a partner can make or break the journey.

Kevin met me shortly after my recovery, but he's watched me navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout our marriage. He's a law enforcement officer, lifts heavy weights, is in tip-top shape, and constantly pushes himself to the limit. He's an alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined. And he's also a man of God, a father to our two boys, and the most supportive partner I could ever ask for.

But supporting someone in eating disorder recovery didn't come naturally to him. He had to learn. And today, he's sharing what he learned—for the men listening, and for the women who want their husbands or partners to understand what real support looks like.

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • How Kevin met me shortly after recovery and realized it's an ongoing journey, not a one-and-done
  • Why his instinct to "fix" me actually created distance instead of intimacy
  • The words he thought were supportive that actually made me feel dismissed
  • What he did that made me feel the MOST safe and supported
  • How he learned not to react in passion or frustration, but to actively listen instead
  • Why asking "What do you need right now to feel safe?" changed everything
  • How Kevin had to recognize that what HE needs for his body is very different from what I need
  • The learning curve of being an alpha male married to someone in ED recovery
  • What it really looks like to be "the man behind the biz" (spoiler: it's cooking, cleaning, and holding down the fort)
  • Kevin's 5 practical takeaways for men supporting their wives through ED recovery or body image struggles
  • A sneak peek at future episodes where Kevin will come back to share more of his perspective

If you're a woman in recovery, send this episode to your husband or partner. If you're a man listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. This episode is for you.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "Your wife doesn't need you to fix her. She needs you to support her. And those are two very different things." - Lindsey

💛 "You don't have to understand everything she's going through to support her. You don't have to have all the answers. But you do have to be willing to listen. And I mean really listen—without trying to fix it, without pressuring her, without making unnecessary comments." - Kevin

💛 "Early on, my instinct was to say things like, 'You're fine. You look great. Just go eat more.' And I thought I was being supportive. But what I didn't realize was that those kinds of comments actually created more distance between us." - Kevin

💛 "That disconnect—it affected intimacy. Not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy too." - Lindsey

💛 "I had to learn that sometimes the most supportive thing I can do is just listen. Ask questions. Ask what you need to feel safe. And then do that." - Kevin

💛 "When you asked what I needed instead of assuming, I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt like you were on my team." - Lindsey

💛 "I can't take away the struggle. I can't make the eating disorder voice go away. But I can support you in climbing out of the struggle. I can listen. I can be present. I can remind you who you are." - Kevin

💛 "You don't have to sit in the struggle with her. But you can support her in climbing out. You can be her safe place." - Kevin

💛 "I had to grant you permission to have a different relationship with your body than I have with mine. Your recovery doesn't look like my fitness journey. And that's okay." - Kevin

💛 "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." - Kevin

💛 "Your job is just to be the anchor." - Kevin

MEET KEVIN NICHOL

Kevin is:

  • A law enforcement officer
  • A fitness enthusiast who lifts heavy and pushes himself to the limit
  • An alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined
  • A man of God
  • A father to two boys
  • Lindsey's husband and "the man behind the biz"
  • The anchor who holds down the fort so Lindsey can do this work

Kevin met Lindsey shortly after her initial recovery, but quickly realized that recovery is ongoing. He's watched her navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout their marriage, and he's learned how to support her without trying to fix her.

KEVIN'S 5 PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS FOR MEN

If you're a man whose wife is struggling with an eating disorder, body image issues, or disordered eating, here's what Kevin wants you to know:

#1: DON'T TRY TO FIX HER

Your job isn't to solve the problem. Your job is to support her while she does the hard work of recovery. That means listening. Asking what she needs. Being present.

#2: WATCH YOUR WORDS

Don't say things like:

  • "You're fine"
  • "Just eat more"
  • "You look great, stop worrying"

Those comments, even though they're well-intentioned, can make her feel dismissed.

Instead, ask: "What do you need from me right now?"

#3: RECOGNIZE THAT WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR BODY IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SHE NEEDS

If you're into fitness or discipline or pushing your limits, that's great. But don't project that onto her. Grant her permission to have a different relationship with her body.

Your fitness journey is not her recovery journey. And that's okay.

#4: BE HER SAFE PLACE

When she's spiraling, when she's struggling, when the eating disorder voice is loud—be the one who reminds her of the truth.

Remind her:

  • She's loved
  • She's more than enough
  • Her value isn't tied to her body
  • She is who God created her to be

#5: DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

Her struggle isn't about you. It's not because you're not enough or because you're doing something wrong. This is her battle. But you can be her ally.

WHAT KEVIN DID THAT MADE LINDSEY FEEL SAFE

Kevin shares that the most supportive thing he learned to do was:

✅ Not reacting in passion or frustration - Even when he didn't understand why Lindsey was struggling, he learned not to react from confusion or frustration because it only made things worse.

✅ Actively listening - Instead of trying to fix or dismiss, he learned to ask, "What do you need right now to feel safe?"

✅ Taking action based on her needs - Sometimes that meant:

  • Cooking dinner so Lindsey didn't have to make food decisions
  • Picking the restaurant so she didn't spiral in anxiety
  • Reminding her of her truth and worth
  • Simply sitting with her without trying to solve anything

The result? Lindsey felt seen. Heard. Supported. Like Kevin was on her team.

THE ALPHA MALE LEARNING CURVE

As someone who lifts heavy weights, is disciplined with fitness, and pushes his body to the limit, Kevin had to learn an important lesson:

What HE needs for his body is very different from what Lindsey needs.

In the beginning, Kevin would talk about his workouts, his macros, his goals—not realizing it could be triggering for Lindsey. Because for him, fitness and discipline are about strength and performance. But for Lindsey, those topics were tied to control, restriction, and shame.

Kevin had to learn:

  • To be mindful of how he talked about fitness and discipline
  • To grant Lindsey permission to have a different relationship with her body than he has with his
  • That her recovery doesn't look like his fitness journey—and that's okay

Lindsey says: "That was one of the most loving things you did for me. You gave me permission to be different. To need different things. To heal in my own way."

THE MAN BEHIND THE BIZ

Kevin doesn't get a lot of recognition, but he's the anchor. He's the one who makes it possible for Lindsey to do this work.

What that looks like practically:

  • Cooking meals
  • Cleaning the house
  • Taking care of the boys so Lindsey can record the podcast
  • Getting the kids to bed so Lindsey can do yoga or self-care
  • Holding down the fort so Lindsey can show up for her clients and her calling

Kevin says: "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters."

And it matters SO much.

WHAT'S NEXT: KEVIN IS COMING BACK

This is the first of what we hope will be many episodes with Kevin. Future topics might include:

  • What NOT to Say to Your Wife About Food or Body
  • How to Be Her Safe Place When She's Spiraling
  • Navigating Intimacy When She's Struggling with Body Image
  • The Man's Perspective on Recovery: What You're Really Feeling (And How to Handle It)

If you're a woman listening: Send this episode to your husband or partner. Share it. Tag us on Instagram. Let's open up this conversation.

If you're a man listening: Thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. We're going to keep creating content that helps you do that.

NEED SUPPORT IN YOUR RECOVERY? WORK WITH LINDSEY

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

This is my group coaching community where women come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets you.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are—let's work together.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

And if you're a man listening and you want to reach out? You can do that too. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to support you in supporting her.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 
EP 264.5: Food Isn't the Problem (Control Is)—6 Steps to Stop Counting Calories for Good **Must Listen Fav!**20 janv. 202600:15:30

Let me start this one hot and spicy for you: Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem.

That's right. Food is not the problem. Especially when you've had an unhealthy obsession with calorie counting and diet culture. It's actually about control. And we give calories all the glory when in reality, choosing food based on calories doesn't even equate to the essential nutrients and vitamins that we need to thrive.

Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need, sis, to function, to live, to be your best. Energy that you need to play with your kids, go out with your friends, dress up cute for a date night, do your job, clean your house, take that walk.

But restrictive diets and disordered relationships with food cause this obsession with control and counting calories. And while we continue to be chained to numbers and the fixation of numbers, we're missing out on LIFE.

Maybe you don't count calories, but you count other things—steps, fat grams, your weight on the scale. It's time to hang it up. It's time to stop. But I'm not just gonna ask you to stop cold turkey because we all know how that typically goes.

In this episode, I'm giving you six practical steps you can take TODAY to stop counting calories so you can start counting moments that matter in your life.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why food isn't the problem (control is) and what you're really searching for
  • The shocking truth about calorie tracking apps (73% of MyFitnessPal users reported it contributed to disordered eating!)
  • 6 actionable steps to stop counting calories for good
  • How to transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy)
  • What triggers to eliminate from your life RIGHT NOW
  • How to face the fear and challenge yourself in restaurants and at home
  • What to count INSTEAD of calories (hint: Episode 56 has 30 ideas!)
  • Why honoring your hunger is the key to freedom
  • The powerful statement that will shift everything: "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them will"

If you're obsessively counting calories, tracking your food, or constantly calculating like a mathematician how many calories you have left for the day—this episode is for you.

Let's stop counting calories and start counting moments that matter.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem. Food is not the problem. It's actually control."

💛 "Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need to function, to live, to be your best."

💛 "Your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing that it needs to survive and thrive at its best."

💛 "Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: 'I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy.' How does that feel?"

💛 "In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker, and 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders. Yet we're still using these things expecting different results."

💛 "Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world."

💛 "You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time. I remember feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food."

💛 "Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will."

💛 "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time."

💛 "You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be. And counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you."

THE REAL ISSUE: IT'S NOT FOOD, IT'S CONTROL

Food isn't the problem. Control is.

Counting calories is about control, rigid routines, and the desire to provide assurance when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with, something to have structure around.

It gives you peace, but it's FALSE. It's a false sense of control.

The counting started small, right? You wanted to track what you were eating, maybe to lose some weight. And it became an obsession. Now you know probably how many calories are in everything. You're tracking on paper, on an app, on your phone.

This fear to control your weight, maintain your weight, or avoid gaining weight is what's leading you. But this is led by distorted standards of diet culture and worldly labels or traumas you've faced in your life.

And sis, it has to stop.

THE 6 STEPS TO STOP COUNTING CALORIES FOR GOOD

STEP #1: ACKNOWLEDGE WHY YOU'RE COUNTING IN THE FIRST PLACE

Counting calories has taken over your life. It didn't start out like that, but it became an obsession.

I want you to acknowledge:

  • Why it's there in the first place
  • What you're searching for when you're counting
  • What knowing that number is actually giving you
  • Is what it's giving you a good outcome? Or is it just leading to more shame?

Typically, this is all about control. Control when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with.

You're measuring yourself against a false standard, against a unit of energy. How crazy is that?

STEP #2: TRANSFORM YOUR THINKING AROUND CALORIES

Calories are actually units of energy. But don't you want MORE energy? I mean, aren't you tired of being tired?

Energy isn't good or bad. It's just energy.

When you think of energy, do you view it as bad the way you view calories? Do you want less of it? No, right? You've tied negative meaning to calories and only given yourself permission to restrict them.

But see, your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing it needs to survive and thrive at its best. Just like we need water every day to hydrate, we need food and calories to keep up with our day, to be energized.

I want you to start reframing the way you're thinking about calories.

Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: "I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy."

How does that feel?

I don't know about you, but I can use all the energy I can get. Energy to take my kids to school, energy to show up on the podcast, energy to do all the things that life has for me. I don't need less of it. I need MORE of it.

Sis, so do you.

Stop thinking about calories as if they're bad. They're not bad. They're a form of energy that's gonna allow you to do life.

STEP #3: GET RID OF THE TRACKERS

Get rid of: ❌ The notebooks ❌ The watches ❌ The apps ❌ All the social accounts ❌ The food scales ❌ The scale scales ❌ Take off the labels

Why put yourself in temptation's path?

Practical tips:

  • Have someone in your house or someone close to you go grocery shopping for you
  • Challenge yourself if you're at the store to shorten your shopping time and select only items you cannot check labels of
  • Make it a game: Nothing goes in your basket that you've looked at the label for
  • Select only items that you don't know the calorie content of

The research is CLEAR:

In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker. 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders.

Yet we're still using these things expecting different results. Sit with that one today, sis.

STEP #4: FACE THE FEAR

It's time to challenge yourself:

✅ Go to a restaurant and avoid looking at the menu ahead of time ✅ Order something you can't get the calorie count for ✅ Have someone else going with you order something for you ✅ When you're home during the week, have someone else prepare your meals if possible

Face the fear. Challenge yourself. Lean into it.

STEP #5: COUNT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD

Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world. And your body is already a self-regulating machine. Your metabolism is gonna naturally heal itself.

So count something else instead.

Check out Episode 56: Calorie Counting Isn't Cute—30 Things to Count Instead of Calories, Macros, and Fat Grams. You're really going to enjoy that one.

STEP #6: HONOR YOUR JOURNEY AND WHERE YOU ARE IN IT

Honor your hunger. Your TRUE hunger.

Stopping the desire to count every single morsel of food doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. But it can and it WILL happen if you keep showing up for you.

Try this practice: STOP, PAUSE, PRAY (or say a mantra). STOP, PAUSE, FEEL.

Sit with yourself:

  • Why do I wanna count this thing?
  • What am I making this mean by counting it?
  • Grant yourself grace and permission to NOT count

Is the world gonna end tomorrow because you decided not to count your calories today?

You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time.

I remember in my eating disorder feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food. That is what I used to gauge whether or not I was allowed to give myself permission to eat it.

Stop. Stop the madness. You have permission.

THE POWERFUL TRUTH YOU NEED TO HEAR

Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will.

And I heard this amazing statement (I don't know who it came from, but it was bomb):

"100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time."

I feel it to my core today.

If you're listening and you're counting calories, it's time to stop. It's time to stop giving calories a place of power in your life. It's time to stop idolizing the fear of gaining weight. It's time to stop limiting your every single day by judging the back of a label.

You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be.

Counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you. Just like counting your weight on the scale is never gonna work. Because food isn't the problem and neither is that number on the scale.

The problem is that you have been chained to believe that big is bad and skinny is in. The truth is that calories are just a unit of energy and we need to stop glorifying them.

YOUR ACTION STEPS TODAY
  1. Acknowledge why you're counting and what you're searching for
  2. Transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy)
  3. Get rid of the trackers - apps, notebooks, watches, scales
  4. Face the fear - challenge yourself at restaurants and at home
  5. Count something else instead (listen to Episode 56 for 30 ideas!)
  6. Honor your journey while you honor your hunger

 

💛READY TO PARTNER WITH ME?

THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

This is my group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets it. That gets you.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise—let's work together.

I'm taking applications right now.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

Let's make 2026 the year you invest in yourself—whether that's through these books, through coaching, or both.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 264: 6 Books That Will Transform Your ED Recovery in 2026 (My Must-Read List)16 janv. 202600:12:47

I'm a huge believer in reading—not just consuming content on social media but actually sitting down with a book and letting the words sink deep into your soul.

Over the years, there have been specific books that have absolutely transformed my life and my recovery journey. Books that challenged me. Books that comforted me. Books that made me think differently about myself, my identity, and my purpose.

And today? I'm sharing my six must-read book recommendations for 2026. These are books that I believe will help you in your eating disorder recovery journey—whether you're just starting out, you're in the thick of it, or you're on the other side working to stay free.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why reading matters in your recovery (and why it's different from scrolling social media)
  • 6 game-changing books that will give you momentum in 2026
  • How to tackle limiting beliefs and trust that recovery is figureoutable
  • Why you don't need everyone's approval to live your life (and recover)
  • How to understand who you are at your core—beyond the eating disorder's lies
  • The power of shame resilience and why shame doesn't get to win
  • A raw, honest fiction novel that mirrors the struggle and hope of recovery
  • How to live in the beautiful tension of "now and not yet" on your journey

Grab a pen, grab your phone, take notes. Because sis, these books? They're game-changers.

Let's fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom—so there's less room for the eating disorder's lies.

THE 6 MUST-READ BOOKS FOR ED RECOVERY IN 2026

📖 BOOK #1: Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

What it's about: This book is all about tackling problems, obstacles, and challenges with the mindset that no matter what you're facing—yes, even eating disorder recovery—you can figure it out.

Why you need it: Marie teaches you how to reframe limiting beliefs, take action even when you're scared, and trust that you have everything you need inside of you to solve any problem.

Perfect for you if: You feel stuck, like recovery is too hard or too complicated. This book will remind you that you are more capable than you think. Everything—yes, everything—is figureoutable. Including your freedom.

📖 BOOK #2: The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

What it's about: Based on the teachings of Alfred Adler, this book is presented as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man about living free from the need for approval.

Why you need it: It teaches you that you don't need everyone's approval to live your life. It challenges the people-pleasing, the need for external validation, and the fear of judgment that so many of us carry—especially those of us with eating disorders.

Perfect for you if: You struggle with people-pleasing or feeling like you need permission to recover. This book will help you understand that you can choose freedom over approval. You can choose yourself over what everyone else thinks. And that's where real recovery lives.

📖 BOOK #3: Human Design by Jenna Zoe

What it's about: Human Design is a system that helps you understand how you're uniquely wired as an individual.

Why you need it: This book helps you discover who you are at your core—not who the eating disorder says you are, not who society says you should be, but who you were designed to be.

Perfect for you if: You need permission to stop trying to fit into a mold that was never meant for you. When you start to see yourself through the lens of your unique design and personality, it helps you embrace your strengths, your natural way of being, and how you operate in the world. Recovery is about coming home to yourself. And this book? It's like a roadmap back.

📖 BOOK #4: I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brené Brown

What it's about: This book is all about shame resilience—understanding how shame works, how it keeps us stuck, and most importantly, how to build resilience against it.

Why you need it: If there's one thing that fuels an eating disorder, it's shame. Shame about your body. Shame about your eating. Shame about not being "good enough" or "perfect enough." Brené teaches you that shame loses its power when we talk about it, when we share our stories, when we realize we're not alone.

Perfect for you if: You've ever felt like you're the only one struggling, like there's something uniquely broken about you. This book will remind you that you're not alone. And that shame? It doesn't get to win.

📖 BOOK #5: Slip by Mallary Tarplay

What it's about: This is a novel—fiction—about a woman struggling with bulimia and the journey she goes through to find recovery. It's raw, it's honest, and it doesn't sugarcoat the hard parts.

Why you need it: Sometimes we need to see ourselves in a story. Sometimes we need to read about someone else's journey to remind us that recovery is possible. That it's worth it. That we're not alone in the fight.

Perfect for you if: You want a book that feels like a mirror—one that reflects the struggle but also the hope. This book shows the beauty of healing, the messiness of recovery, and the hope that exists even in the darkest moments.

📖 BOOK #6: Now and Not Yet by Ruth Chou Simons

What it's about: This book is all about living in the tension of the "already but not yet." The idea that you are already loved, already worthy, already enough—but you're also still becoming. Still growing. Still on the journey.

Why you need it: Recovery isn't linear. You're not "there" yet, but you're also not back where you started. You're in the middle. You're in the messy, beautiful, uncomfortable middle.

Perfect for you if: You need a book that speaks hope, grace, and truth over your recovery journey. This book will remind you that God is with you in the now AND the not yet. That you don't have to have it all figured out to be worthy. That you can rest in the process. That you can trust that you're becoming exactly who you were meant to be—even if you're not there yet.

THE FULL MUST-READ LIST FOR 2026
  1. Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo
  2. The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
  3. Human Design by Jenna Zoe
  4. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brené Brown
  5. Slip by Mallary Tarplay
  6. Now and Not Yet by Ruth Chou Simons

Pick one. Pick all six. Just start reading. Because the more you fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom, the less room there is for the eating disorder's lies.

KEY QUOTE FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "I'm a huge believer in reading—not just consuming content on social media, but actually sitting down with a book and letting the words sink deep into your soul."

💛 "The more you fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom, the less room there is for the eating disorder's lies."

💛 "Recovery is about coming home to yourself. And this book? It's like a roadmap back."

💛 "Shame loses its power when we talk about it, when we share our stories, when we realize we're not alone."

💛 "You are already loved, already worthy, already enough—but you're also still becoming. Still growing. Still on the journey."

NEED MORE THAN BOOKS? WORK WITH ME IN 2026

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

This is my group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets it. That gets you.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise—let's work together.

I'm taking applications right now.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

Let's make 2026 the year you invest in yourself—whether that's through these books, through coaching, or both.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 263: You're Approaching Recovery All Wrong (Hint: & It's Not Your Strategy!) Here's the 3B Framework That Actually Works13 janv. 202600:21:34

We're already mid-January. Goals have been set. Maybe you wrote down "recover this year" or "heal my relationship with food" or "finally find freedom."

But here's what I need you to hear: Setting the goal isn't the problem. How you're approaching it is.

I was listening to a Tony Robbins podcast recently, and he said something that stopped me in my tracks: The reason why people don't get the results they're after is because they approach it all wrong. Most people start with the strategy—looking for the perfect plan, the magic formula, the one thing that's going to solve everything.

And when that strategy doesn't work, they think they failed. But the truth is, the strategy was never the problem. It's that they started in the wrong place.

This is SO true in eating disorder recovery.

People come to me all the time asking, "Lindsey, what's THE strategy? What did YOU do to recover? Just tell me the steps and I'll do it." And here's what I have to tell them: There are multiple ways of getting to recovery. No one way is THE way. And anyone who tells you there is only one way? Run from them.

In this episode, I'm introducing you to the 3B Framework—Being, Belief, and Blueprint—the exact approach I use with my private clients that actually gets lasting results. Because sis, the strategy isn't the first step. It's actually the LAST step. And that's why you've been stuck.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why starting with strategy is keeping you stuck in the recovery cycle
  • The 3B Framework: Being, Belief, and Blueprint (and why the order matters)
  • Why anyone promising "one proven way" to recover is lying to you
  • The real reason my clients see lasting transformation (it's not the meal plan)
  • My personal figure skating story and how old beliefs kept me trapped for years
  • The moment at the ice rink that showed me I was finally free
  • Why the patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the soul work isn't met
  • How to identify the story you've been telling yourself that's keeping you stuck
  • Practical homework to excavate your core beliefs and rewrite your narrative

If you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten. And I'm guessing you're tired of being stuck.

So let's change the approach. Let's do this differently. Let's actually get you FREE.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "Setting the goal isn't the problem. How you're approaching it is."

💛 "There are multiple ways of getting to recovery. No one way is THE way. And anyone who tells you there is only one way? Run from them."

💛 "The reason why my clients see results? It's because we don't start with the strategy. We start with something much deeper."

💛 "The blueprint won't matter if your being and your belief are still stuck in the old ways of thinking. We have to conquer those pieces first."

💛 "The strategy isn't the first bite of the salad, sis. It's actually the Being and the Belief. We have to unravel the WHY behind why we believe what we believe."

💛 "You can have the best meal plan. You can have the best treatment team. You can have all the tools and resources and support in the world. But if you don't change your BEING—if you don't shift your BELIEF—you're going to keep sabotaging yourself."

💛 "The smell of the rink was the same. But my belief and my identity weren't trapped in the sport anymore. I was healed."

💛 "There's a reason why we hang on to the eating disorder for so long. For me, it was because I didn't see myself as anything but that version of myself. But sis, it's time to believe bigger."

💛 "The patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the internal work isn't met."

THE 3B FRAMEWORK EXPLAINED

This is the exact framework I use with my private coaching clients—and it's why they see actual, lasting transformation instead of just temporary fixes.

STEP 1: BEING (Your Current State)

This is where you are RIGHT NOW. What is the state of your current being?

  • What is the urgency of your situation?
  • What is your mental, emotional, and physical state when you come to me?
  • Are you in crisis?
  • Are you stuck in quasi-recovery?
  • Are you white-knuckling your way through life pretending you're fine when you're actually dying inside?

We start here. Because if you don't get honest about where you are, you can't get to where you want to go.

Most people skip this step entirely. They want to jump straight to the strategy. But that's like asking for directions to a destination without telling me where you're starting from or what vehicle you're driving.

STEP 2: BELIEF (Your Core Story)

This is the story you've been telling yourself. What are the core beliefs driving your behaviors?

  • What narrative have you been living in for months, years, maybe even decades?
  • What do you believe about yourself, your body, your worth, your identity?
  • Are you believing that you're only worthy if you're small?
  • That food is the enemy?
  • That control equals safety?
  • That you'll never recover?
  • That this is just who you are?

This is where we do the soul work. The deep work.

Because sis, the patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the internal work isn't met. These beliefs are running the show. And until you identify them, challenge them, and replace them with truth, you're going to stay stuck.

There's a reason why we hang on to the eating disorder for so long. We have to unravel the WHY behind why we believe what we believe.

STEP 3: BLUEPRINT (Your Strategy)

This is the action plan. The "how do we get you there?" part.

But here's the key: The blueprint won't matter if your being and your belief are still stuck in the old ways of thinking.

We have to conquer Steps 1 and 2 first. Otherwise, you're just putting a band-aid on a wound that needs surgery.

You can have the best meal plan. You can have the best treatment team. You can have all the tools and resources and support in the world. But if you haven't changed your BEING and shifted your BELIEF, you're going to keep sabotaging yourself.

You're going to keep "cheating" on your meal plan. You're going to keep restricting in secret. You're going to keep pretending you're recovering while you're really just maintaining your eating disorder with a smile on your face.

Once we've addressed your being and your belief, THEN we can create a blueprint. Then we can map out the tools, the action steps, the meal plans, the support systems, the practices that will actually work for YOU.

But not before. Because the blueprint is useless without the foundation.

MY FIGURE SKATING STORY: WHEN BELIEF KEPT ME TRAPPED

Over winter break, I took my boys ice skating. And the moment I walked into that rink, I was hit with a wave of memories.

The smell of the ice. The cold, crisp air. The must from the hockey players and public skaters. I closed my eyes for a second, and it all came rushing back.

For so long after my recovery, skating was triggering for me. Because my entire identity as a figure skater was wrapped up in perfectionism and performance. Being the smallest was the best. Looking perfect was the goal. Technique over joy. Approval over freedom.

Those beliefs protected me during that season of my life. They gave me structure. They gave me control. They gave me a sense of worth when I felt worthless everywhere else.

But they also trapped me. They kept me stuck in an eating disorder that nearly killed me.

So for years, I avoided skating. Because I didn't know who I was without those beliefs. I didn't know if I could step onto the ice without falling back into that version of myself.

But this time? This time was different.

My oldest asked me to do a sit spin. And I thought, "Why not?" So I did it. And you know what? I nailed it.

The muscle memory was still there. My body remembered. But something else was different. I was different.

I wasn't focused on what others thought. I wasn't worried about my technique. I wasn't performing for approval. I was just... doing it. For fun. For the first time in my life, I was skating for JOY, not perfection.

It felt like freedom. It felt playful. No strings attached. No perfection required. Just me being a mom, showing my kids that their mom was once someone cool. And honestly? Feeling pretty cool in that moment.

And that's when it hit me: The smell of the rink was the same. But my belief and my identity weren't trapped in the sport anymore. I was healed.

WHY BELIEF IS THE GAME-CHANGER

That moment on the ice showed me something so important:

You can have all the skills. You can have all the muscle memory. You can have all the strategy in the world. But if your BELIEF about yourself hasn't changed, you'll always go back to the old patterns.

This is why so many of my clients come to me looking for the strategy, but they realize pretty quickly that they need something deeper.

They need to look at their BEING. They need to examine their BELIEF. Because the best strategy in the world won't work unless you're prepared to execute it. And you can't execute it if you're still operating from the old story.

RUN FROM THESE "ONE WAY" LIES

Run from anyone who says: ❌ A meal plan is the ONLY way to recover ❌ Intuitive eating is the ONLY way to recover ❌ You MUST follow a specific protocol ❌ There's a "proven recovery formula" that works for everyone ❌ Specific techniques are the answer for all people

Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. It's not a linear path. It's not a checklist. It's deeply personal, deeply individual, and it requires way more than just a strategy.

YOUR HOMEWORK: EXCAVATE YOUR BELIEFS

Here's your one tangible action. Sit down with a journal and answer these questions:

✍️ What are 3 beliefs I have about myself, my body, or my eating disorder?

✍️ For each belief, ask: Is this true? Or is this my eating disorder talking?

✍️ What is the story I've been telling myself that's keeping me stuck in this old identity?

And here's the big one:

✍️ Who would I be without this story? Who am I BECOMING?

Get really honest with yourself. Excavate those beliefs. Challenge them. Question them.

Because sis, the strategy isn't going to save you. Your willingness to do the deep internal work is what's going to set you free.

Stop searching for the perfect strategy. Start looking at your being. Start examining your beliefs. Start doing the soul work.

Because that's where transformation happens.

READY TO WORK THE 3B FRAMEWORK? LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER

If you're thinking, "Lindsey, I need help with this. I can't do this alone. I need someone to walk me through Being, Belief, and Blueprint"—I hear you. And I'm here for you.

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

This is my group coaching community where we do this work together. We address your being, we challenge your beliefs, and we create blueprints that actually work. You'll have me, you'll have the community, and you'll have the support to actually make lasting change.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to help you uncover those core beliefs and rewrite your story—let's work together. This is where we go ALL in on your recovery with radical change.

www.herbestself.co 

👉 Head to the link above & fill out a client application.

Let's stop playing games. Let's stop searching for the magic strategy. Let's do the real work. The deep work. The work that actually gets you free.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 262.5: "I Laughed When My Therapist Said to Journal — Then It Saved My Life" ~ #1 ED Recovery Tool📓09 janv. 202600:16:21

When my therapist first told me to start journaling as part of my recovery practice, I literally laughed in her face.

Journaling? Like... affirmations? I didn't believe that writing in a notebook would help me recover from my eating disorder. It seemed too simple. Too basic. Too... pointless.

But sis, I was so wrong.

Journaling didn't just help me recover. It actually saved my life. And if fear is keeping you stuck in restrictive behaviors right now—if you're terrified to recover because you're not sure who you'll be without your eating disorder—then you need to hear this.

In this episode, I'm breaking down the 7 science-backed benefits of journaling that transformed my recovery and why this simple practice might be the missing piece in yours. We live in a culture of information overload—endless scrolling, constant content, comparison on every platform. But what if instead of consuming more, you need to process what's already in your mind?

According to the National Institute of Health, 26% of adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. And yet, only 8% of the world population keeps a journal.

It's time to go back to the basics. It's time to slow down. It's time to give your brain the space it needs to heal.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why I laughed when my therapist suggested journaling (and why I was so wrong)
  • The shocking statistics about mental health and why we need to process, not just consume
  • 7 powerful benefits of journaling in eating disorder recovery (backed by science)
  • How journaling reduces anxiety and depression while boosting your immune system
  • Why getting thoughts OUT of your mind is critical for cognitive processing
  • How writing promotes healing, acceptance, and actually changes your brain
  • The way I used journaling to replace negative coping mechanisms with positive ones
  • How journaling gives you reset, redirection, and compassion for your journey
  • Why reflecting on your progress through old journals sparks hope and momentum
  • Practical tips on how to start journaling TODAY (no fancy notebook required)

If you've been stuck, if you've been overwhelmed by the thoughts in your mind, if you don't know where to go next—this episode is your permission to start simple. Start small. Start today.

Journaling changed my life. And it can change yours too.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "When my therapist told me years ago to start journaling as part of a personal recovery practice, I believe I actually laughed in her face. I think I said, 'About what? Like affirmations?' I didn't even believe that journaling would help me recover from my eating disorder. But I was wrong."

💛 "It's time that we go back to the basics in order to heal our bodies. It's time that we stop just ingesting all of this content and information causing us to hate our lives, hate our bodies, draw closer to our disordered behaviors and sit miserable in comparison."

💛 "How do you expect to find freedom from an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food if you're not getting any of that out of your mind? Journaling allows you to get out what is going in."

💛 "When you write down positive things over and over and over, it allows you to see patterns. It actually allows you to believe or to start believing what it is you're writing."

💛 "Maybe you need to get it out. Maybe you need to do exactly what I did: 'I hate this freaking snack right now. I hate that I have to sit here and eat it. I hate that I'm so scared to gain weight, and yet I'm doing the thing anyways because I know on the opposite side of this action one day I'm gonna wake up free.'"

💛 "How are you gonna remember the hard days if you don't get out the hard thing? How are you gonna remember the small wins that feel massive to you in the moment, five years from now, a month from now? Journaling helps you process."

💛 "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou

THE SHOCKING STATISTICS YOU NEED TO KNOW

📊 Only 8% of the world population keeps a journal 📊 Only 22% of people have journaled in their lifetime 📊 26% of adults 18+ suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder (that's 1 in 4 adults) 📊 Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness 📊 Half of Americans will experience a mental illness in their lifetime 📊 4.5 million kids live with anxiety disorders

The takeaway? We need to slow down as a culture. Instead of this flux of information overload, we need to give our brains time to PROCESS. We need grace to weed through all the things, filter out all the things, and process our thoughts and feelings about our lives—much less about our bodies and our relationship with food.

THE 7 SCIENCE-BACKED BENEFITS OF JOURNALING IN ED RECOVERY

BENEFIT #1: Reduces Anxiety and Depression, Increases Optimism

Journaling boosts your immune system and researchers have shown improved organ function simply from journaling. Yes, ORGAN FUNCTION. Your body heals when you give your mind space to process.

BENEFIT #2: Increased Cognitive Processing

Journaling allows you to get OUT what is going IN. All the voices telling you you're not good enough, not small enough—all those beliefs you've been telling yourself over and over. How do you expect to find freedom if you're not getting any of that out of your mind?

BENEFIT #3: Promotes Healing and Acceptance

Writing is tranquil. Writing is a healing practice. When you write, you read. This creates improved memory function. When you write down positive things over and over, it allows you to see patterns. It actually allows you to START BELIEVING what you're writing.

BENEFIT #4: Calms the Brain and Body

This leads to stress resilience, allowing you to leverage writing versus going to negative coping mechanisms. When I was in the worst of the worst with my anorexia, every single time I felt like I wanted to over-exercise or restrict food, I would replace that with journaling.

Example: "Let me go get my snack, and then after my snack, I'm gonna sit down and journal and get out the thoughts in my mind. Maybe I'll write: 'I hate this freaking snack right now. I hate that I have to sit here and eat it. I hate that I'm so scared to gain weight, and yet I'm doing the thing anyways because I know on the opposite side of this action one day I'm gonna wake up free.'"

It allows your brain to be calm. It allows your body to be at peace.

BENEFIT #5: Gives You Reset and Redirection

Journaling creates space and distance from the things you're thinking about, and it allows you time to reframe, reset, and redirect. As you're writing, you're thinking about what you're writing. And if you don't spend time thinking about what you're thinking about, how are you gonna make a change? How are you gonna show up differently?

BENEFIT #6: Practice Compassion and Gratitude

When you're listing what you have overcome, what you've accomplished, what you're grateful for—this actually helps give you hope during the hard. It helps you process all that you have done. How are you gonna remember the small wins that feel massive to you in the moment, five years from now, a month from now? Journaling helps you process.

BENEFIT #7: Helps You Reflect and Recover

You can go back and read your journal. You can go back and read your journey. On the hard days, you can go back to the inspirational things and say, "You know what? Today might feel hard. Today might suck. But last week, look at this win I had." That gives you motivation, momentum, and it sparks your ability to want to keep going. It shows your progress.

WHAT JOURNALING DOES FOR YOUR BRAIN

Journaling allows you to develop what is called a coherent narrative. This simply means you can take the experiences and events in your life and look at them almost as a third party.

This is a very holistic practice. As you're getting these thoughts out on the page, as you're writing your story out, you can sit with it and say, "How would I view this if I was reading this as a novel? Or if this was a page from my friend's notebook?"

Instead of judging yourself in the journey, it allows you to develop a new and true voice.

Journaling is about: ✨ Self-discovery ✨ Self-love ✨ Processing emotions ✨ Identifying your triggers and stressors ✨ Gaining confidence in yourself ✨ Self-monitoring and self-accountability

HOW TO START JOURNALING TODAY

Start small. Start today.

Find a cute blank notebook (or just a plain one—it doesn't have to be fancy). Take 5 minutes today and in the days to come to sit with YOU.

Journal prompts to get you started:

✍️ What are you thinking about right now? ✍️ What thoughts come up? ✍️ What fears come up? ✍️ What are your daily intentions today? ✍️ Talk to God. Release those negative feelings. ✍️ Write about your truths. Write about where you want to go. ✍️ Write some things you're grateful for. ✍️ Write about how hard it is right now. ✍️ Write a letter to someone—or to yourself (past self, future self). ✍️ Write your Best Self statement.

Morning journaling: Sets your day and gives you positive intent before your eating disorder brain clouds it. You can say, "Today, this is what I'm planning to do. This is what's on the agenda. This is my positive intent to do the right thing before that voice inside my head tells me not to."

Night journaling: Promotes more restful sleep and allows you to process all you've done. It even allows you to get out shame, unforgiveness, or negative feelings.

There's no right way. That's the fun thing. Just start.

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM LINDSEY

I still have all of my journals from my years of recovery. And today it is quite amazing to look back and reflect and read my journals. I can actually remember the feelings of writing on the pages from 15+ years ago.

I can look now at that girl who was desperate for freedom, that girl who didn't believe it was possible. And I can hold her just like I'm holding you, friend. Because I know what it's like to feel those feelings and I know what it's like to find freedom from that place.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou

Start spending time with your mind. Start releasing what's in your mind out on paper. Because I promise that if you have been stuck, if you have been feeling like there are so many different things inside your mind and you're just not sure where to go next—the first step is to alleviate those thoughts. The first step is to rid your mind of all those thoughts.

Get them out on paper. What's true? What's not true? What's keeping you stuck? What's keeping you in fear?

I believe that journaling is one of the best things I did in my eating disorder recovery. And it can be one of the best things you do too.

NEED MORE SUPPORT? WORK WITH ME

💛 ONE-ON-ONE PRIVATE RECOVERY COACHING

I have only a few slots available, but I would love to work with you one-on-one. Recovery coaching allows us to work together, and I am in your ear. This is a place where you're gonna find love, support, and truth. I'm gonna hold your hand. I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna hold you accountable so that you can show up for YOU.

If you've been struggling—giving yourself permission to recover, giving yourself permission to eat, giving yourself permission to let go of those unhealthy beliefs and behaviors—and you feel like you should know what to do but you don't know what to do at the same time... I've been there. And I wish I had a coach during my recovery process. That's why I do what I do.

👉 Go to LindseyNichol.com and fill out a client application.

~

Looking for inspiration on what to journal?

💛 Head to our private Facebook community: Hope and Healing for Eating Disorder Recovery at www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 Check out the Her Best Self Statement in the featured area for some journaling inspiration!

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 262: New Year, Same Eating Disorder? The One Emotion That Will Actually Get You Out of ED Hell06 janv. 202600:19:55

Let me guess. It's a new year, and you're supposed to feel motivated. Excited. Ready for a fresh start.

But instead? You just feel tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of trying. Tired of feeling like you're starting over AGAIN with your eating disorder recovery.

Everywhere you look, you're being bombarded with "new year, new you" messages. Detoxes. Transformation challenges. Fresh starts. Clean slates. And if you're in ED recovery, you know exactly what that pressure feels like—and how triggering it is.

Here's what I need you to hear: A calendar flipping to January 1st doesn't magically fix anything. But there IS one emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell. And it's probably not what you think.

In this raw, no-BS episode, I'm getting provocative, confrontational, and real with you about the power of frustration—and why being absolutely sick and tired of yourself and your eating disorder might be the best thing that could happen to your recovery.

This isn't your typical "be kind to yourself" recovery talk. This is me calling you out with love, getting you MAD, and helping you channel that anger into the fuel you need to actually change.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why "new year, new you" is toxic garbage (especially in ED recovery)
  • The ONE emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell (hint: it's frustration)
  • Why feeling "sick of yourself" isn't weakness—it's readiness
  • My personal story of how I had to get ANGRY with myself to finally stop playing games with recovery
  • What your eating disorder has actually taken from you over the years (and how many more years you're going to let it take)
  • 3 powerful action steps to channel your frustration: plate-throwing, journaling prompts, and the anger letter
  • The raw, unfiltered reality of what recovery actually takes (no sugarcoating)
  • Why you need to stop negotiating with your ED and start getting pissed off enough to do something different

If you're done playing victim to your own story. If you're sick of half-assing your recovery. If you're ready to get FRUSTRATED enough to finally take action—this episode is for you.

Let's go. 🔥

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "It won't be a new year that brings anything new or better into your life. It will be YOU. And specifically, it will be you getting so absolutely frustrated, so fed up, so DONE with spending one more day entrenched in ED-ville that you finally say, 'Enough.'"

💛 "That frustration? That's not weakness. That's readiness. Frustration is your body and your soul screaming at you, 'WE ARE DONE WITH THIS.'"

💛 "I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face. I had to get angry to change."

💛 "What has the eating disorder taken from you? Not just this year. But over the YEARS. How many holidays has it ruined? How many relationships has it cost you? How much energy have you wasted? How many dreams have you put on hold?"

💛 "The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. And it will keep taking until you decide you're not giving it anything else."

💛 "You don't need a new year to change your life. You need to get so sick of yourself and your eating disorder that you finally decide enough is enough."

💛 "Recovery is not a 'new year, new you' situation. It's not a 30-day challenge. It's not a quick fix. It's not pretty. It's not Instagram-worthy. And it's definitely not easy."

THE TRUTH ABOUT "NEW YEAR, NEW YOU"

Let's call it what it is: the "new year, new you" message is toxic garbage. Especially in diet culture. Especially for women. And ESPECIALLY for women in eating disorder recovery.

Right now, you're being sold the lie that January 1st is some magical portal where everything changes. You're seeing:

  • Detox teas
  • Meal plans
  • Fitness challenges
  • Before-and-after pictures
  • "Fresh start" messaging everywhere

For someone in recovery? That's a minefield.

The eating disorder LOVES a fresh start. It loves rules. It loves restrictions. It loves the promise of control disguised as "health" and "wellness."

But here's the truth: It won't be a new year that brings change. It will be YOU getting so frustrated that you refuse to spend one more day living like this.

WHY FRUSTRATION IS YOUR FUEL ( NOT A PROBLEM)

You're frustrated that:

  • You're still here, still struggling, still stuck
  • Another year has passed and you're not where you thought you'd be
  • Recovery feels so hard
  • You're missing out on life because you're too wrapped up in food, body, and control

Here's what you need to hear: That frustration is not weakness. That's READINESS.

Frustration is your body and soul screaming, "WE ARE DONE WITH THIS." It's the part of you that knows you were made for more. It's the part that's sick of the lies, sick of the exhaustion, sick of playing small.

When you tap into that frustration—when you really let yourself FEEL how angry you are about what this eating disorder has taken from you—that becomes your fuel. That becomes the fire that drives you to actually change.

MY STORY: THE MOMENT I GOT ANGRY ENOUGH TO CHANGE

I was in treatment. I had a treatment team. I had a meal plan. My goal for that year was to gain 40 pounds. FORTY. And I knew that. I agreed to it. I said I was all in.

But I was lying. To them. To myself. To God.

I was pushing off meals. I was "cheating" on my treatment team. I was still counting calories in my head even though I knew better. I was doing the bare minimum and calling it recovery. I was playing the game without actually playing to win.

And one day, I just caught myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "Who even are you? What are you doing? You KNOW what you need to do. You KNOW what recovery requires. And you're still choosing this?"

I got angry. Not at my body. Not at food. At MYSELF. At my junk. At my excuses. At my half-hearted effort.

I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face.

THAT was the turning point. Not a new year. Not a motivational quote. Just me, getting so absolutely fed up that I finally decided to stop playing games.

I had to get angry to change. And sis, so do you.

WHAT HAS YOUR EATING DISORDER TAKEN FROM YOU?

It's time to get uncomfortable. I need you to actually sit with this. I need you to get honest. I need you to get FRUSTRATED.

What has the eating disorder taken from you over the YEARS?

❌ How many holidays has it ruined? ❌ How many family gatherings did you obsess over food instead of enjoying people? ❌ How many birthdays did you skip because you couldn't handle the cake? ❌ How many vacations did you ruin because you were too busy calculating, controlling, restricting? ❌ How many relationships has it cost you? ❌ How many friendships have you lost because you isolated yourself? ❌ How many moments with your kids did you miss because you were too exhausted, too distracted, too consumed? ❌ How much MONEY have you spent? (Diet programs, gym memberships, doctors, treatment, trying to "fix" yourself) ❌ How much ENERGY have you wasted? (Hours thinking about food, obsessing over your body, planning meals, beating yourself up) ❌ How many DREAMS have you put on hold? (The career, the trip, the LIFE you wanted—all sitting on the back burner)

And how many more years are you going to let it take?

3 POWERFUL EXERCISES TO CHANNEL YOUR FRUSTRATION

Don't just sit in the frustration. USE it. Channel it. Let it fuel you into action.

EXERCISE 1: The Plate-Throwing Exercise (Optional but Therapeutic)

If you need a physical release—go to a thrift store. Buy some cheap plates. Take them somewhere safe (garage, backyard). And throw them. Smash them. Let out every ounce of anger you have at this eating disorder. Let out every bit of frustration at yourself for staying stuck.

(Be safe. Wear shoes. Don't hurt yourself. But let yourself FEEL the rage.)

EXERCISE 2: The "What ED Has Taken" Journal Prompts

Get a journal and answer these:

✍️ How many holidays has my eating disorder ruined? ✍️ How many relationships has it cost me? ✍️ How many moments with my kids/family/friends have I missed? ✍️ How much money have I spent trying to fix this while refusing to fully commit? ✍️ How much energy have I wasted obsessing over food and my body? ✍️ What dreams have I put on hold because the ED convinced me I wasn't ready? ✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I stay here? ✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I ACTUALLY recover?

Write it all out. Don't hold back. Let yourself see the cost. Let yourself get MAD.

EXERCISE 3: The Anger Letter

Write a letter to your eating disorder. Tell it exactly what you think. Tell it what it's stolen from you. Tell it that you're done. That you're not doing this anymore. That you're taking your life back.

Then? Burn it. Rip it up. Throw it away. Symbolically release it.

THE RAW REALITY: WHAT RECOVERY ACTUALLY TAKES

Hope is beautiful. But you also need to know what this is going to require.

Recovery is NOT: ❌ A "new year, new you" situation ❌ A 30-day challenge ❌ A quick fix ❌ Pretty or Instagram-worthy ❌ Easy

Here's what recovery ACTUALLY takes:

✅ Showing up when you don't feel like it ✅ Eating the meal even when the ED voice is screaming at you not to ✅ Sitting with discomfort without numbing it ✅ Asking for help when you'd rather isolate ✅ Being honest with your treatment team even when you're ashamed ✅ Gaining weight if that's what your body needs (yes, I said it) ✅ Letting go of control, perfectionism, and the idea you can do this halfway ✅ CONSISTENCY—day after day after day, even when it's boring or hard ✅ Getting so frustrated that you stop negotiating with the ED, stop bargaining, stop playing games

The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. It will keep taking until YOU decide you're not giving it anything else.

READY TO STOP PLAYING GAMES? WORK WITH ME IN 2026

If you're sitting here thinking, "Yes, Lindsey, I'm done. I'm so done. I need help and I need it now"—then take action TODAY.

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

My group coaching community where you'll get the support, accountability, and sisterhood you need to actually do this. No more doing it alone. No more pretending you've got it figured out. Just real women doing real recovery work together.

Join us here: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready to go ALL in, if you need deep transformational support, if you want someone in your corner who's going to call you out on your BS and remind you who you are when the ED gets loud—let's work together.

I'm not here to coddle you. I'm here to help you get FREE.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

Let's make 2026 the year you stop playing games and start actually recovering.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 261: From Blah to Becoming in 2026 ~ Your Word of the Year Can Change Your Life & Recovery (Here's How to Find It)02 janv. 202600:18:37

Can I be real with you for a second? 2025 was blah.

Not bad. Not terrible. Just... blah. Some wonderful moments. Some not-so-wonderful moments. A lot of ordinary, messy, in-between moments that felt really uncomfortable for someone like me who's used to pushing, achieving, and making things happen.

Sound familiar? Because that's exactly what recovery from disordered eating feels like too, doesn't it? Some days are good. Some days are hard. Most days are just... blah. You're not in crisis, but you're also not experiencing the freedom you're aching for. You're just stuck in the gray.

But here's what I'm learning as I step into 2026: I don't need perfect. I need to become.

In this episode, I'm getting raw and honest about my word for 2026—becoming—and why it terrifies me and excites me all at the same time. I'm sharing how my 2025 word "leadership" showed up in ways I never expected (including firing staff, getting burned by a coach, and learning what NOT to be as a leader). And I'm challenging you to find your own word for 2026.

Because sis, having a word of the year in eating disorder recovery? It's a game-changer.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why 2025 felt "blah" for me (and why that's okay)
  • How my word "leadership" in 2025 taught me hard lessons I didn't see coming
  • What "becoming" means for me in 2026—and why it's the scariest and most freeing word I could choose
  • Why becoming is about transitioning from structure to being okay in the gray
  • How a word of the year gives you a North Star in recovery when you feel lost
  • Why your identity isn't lost in the eating disorder—it's buried (and recovery is the process of becoming your true self)
  • Practical questions to help YOU choose your word for 2026
  • Why your word doesn't have to be perfect to be powerful

If you're ready to stop waiting for perfect and start leaning into who you're becoming—even if you don't have all the answers yet—this episode is for you.

Let's make 2026 the year of becoming. Together.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "2025 wasn't a bad year. It wasn't a terrible year. But it also wasn't this explosive, breakthrough, 'oh my gosh, everything is amazing' kind of year either. It was just... blah."

💛 "That's exactly what recovery from disordered eating feels like too. Some days are good. Some days are hard. Most days are just... blah. You're not in crisis, but you're also not experiencing the freedom you're aching for. You're just stuck in the gray."

💛 "I don't need the perfect word. I need the right word. The word that's going to challenge me, stretch me, and call me into who I'm becoming."

💛 "Becoming means becoming more aligned and grounded in my purpose—knowing what's for me and what isn't. It means becoming a more present mom and wife, not just existing in the same space as my family but actually being there with them."

💛 "Becoming also means transitioning from so much structure and control to becoming someone who is okay in the gray. Someone who doesn't need to have it all figured out to move forward. And let me tell you, that is terrifying. But it's also freeing."

💛 "Your identity isn't lost in the eating disorder, sis. It's buried. And recovery is the process of becoming your true and best self—an identity that isn't based on weight or image or what other people think of you."

💛 "You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to know exactly who you're becoming or what that looks like. You just have to keep showing up."

WHAT "BECOMING" MEANS FOR 2026

In this episode, I share what my word "becoming" means for me personally:

✨ Becoming more aligned and grounded in my purpose – knowing what's for me and what isn't ✨ Becoming a more present mom and wife – not just existing in the same space but actually being there ✨ Becoming more honest with myself around people-pleasing – finally laying down the boundaries I've been too scared to set ✨ Becoming the businesswoman who is ready to embrace the next season and all the favor God has for me ✨ Transitioning from structure to being okay in the gray – someone who doesn't need to have it all figured out to move forward

The truth? This terrifies me. But it's also freeing. And that's exactly why it's the right word.

WHY A WORD OF THE YEAR MATTERS IN RECOVERY

Having a word of the year in eating disorder recovery is powerful for three reasons:

1. It gives you a North Star. When you're in the thick of recovery, when the eating disorder is loud, when you feel lost or stuck—your word can ground you. It reminds you of who you're becoming and why you're doing this hard work.

2. It shifts your identity. The eating disorder has convinced you that your identity is tied to your weight, your body, your food rules, your control. But your word? It reminds you that you are becoming someone deeper. Someone truer. Someone who isn't defined by the lies the ED has been feeding you.

3. It gives you permission to be in process. Recovery isn't linear. It's messy. It's uncomfortable. It's full of blah days and setbacks. But when you have a word like "becoming," you remember that you don't have to be perfect. You just have to keep becoming.

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR WORD FOR 2026

Ready to find your word? Here's what I want you to do:

Sit down with a journal. Get quiet. Get honest. And ask yourself:

✍️ What do I need more of this year? ✍️ What am I ready to let go of? ✍️ Who am I becoming in my recovery? ✍️ What is God calling me into? ✍️ What would freedom feel like for me?

Your word might be something like:

  • Brave
  • Trust
  • Nourish
  • Grace
  • Enough
  • Present
  • Surrender

It might be a word you've never thought of before. But when you land on it, you'll know. You'll feel it.

Then: Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it every single day. Let it be your reminder when the eating disorder gets loud. Let it be your anchor when recovery feels impossible.

LESSONS FROM 2025: LEADERSHIP

In this episode, I share the raw truth about how my 2025 word "leadership" showed up:

  • I had to make the really hard decision to fire some of my support staff and go back to running my business solo
  • I invested a large amount of money in a business coach who didn't deliver and didn't keep her commitment—and I was left feeling burned and frustrated
  • But that experience taught me what NOT to be as a leader and who I wanted to attract into my life and business
  • It eventually led me to an incredible coach and mentor who has been exactly what I needed
  • Leadership meant I had to lead myself first—push forward without second-guessing, stop questioning myself, and just trust

The lesson? Leaders keep going. Even when it's hard. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when they want to quit.

READY TO STEP INTO WHO YOU'RE BECOMING IN 2026?

If you're thinking, "Lindsey, I love this. I want to choose a word. I want to step into who I'm becoming. But I don't know how to do this alone"—I get it. And you don't have to do this alone.

WORK WITH ME IN 2026

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

My group coaching community where women just like you come together to do the deep work of recovery. You'll have support, accountability, and a sisterhood that gets you. We meet monthly for coaching calls, and you'll have access to a community that will remind you who you're becoming when you forget.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready to go all in, if you're ready for deep transformational work, if you're ready to step into the fullness of who you're becoming—let's work together. I'll walk beside you, hold you accountable, and help you dismantle the eating disorder once and for all.

I'm taking applications right now for 2026.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

Let's make 2026 the year of becoming. Together.

A NOTE FROM LINDSEY

You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to know exactly who you're becoming or what that looks like.

You just have to keep showing up. Keep choosing yourself. Keep leaning into the uncomfortable, messy, gray space of recovery.

Because that's where the magic happens, sis. That's where transformation lives. That's where you become who you were always meant to be.

So here's to 2026. Here's to becoming. Here's to choosing yourself. And here's to stepping into the freedom that's been waiting for you all along.

I love you, girl. I believe in you. And I can't wait to see who you're becoming this year. 💛

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 260: The 5 BEST Eating Disorder Recovery Episodes of 2025 (Most Downloaded & Life-Changing)30 déc. 202500:16:48
 

Can you believe we're at the end of 2025? What a year it's been.

As we close out this incredible year, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate YOU—and reflect on the five episodes that resonated most deeply with this community. These are the most downloaded, most loved, and most life-changing episodes of the entire year.

If you've been part of this journey all year long, this episode is your reminder of just how far you've come. And if you're new here? Welcome. This is your crash course in the content that has sparked the most transformation, healing, and freedom for women in eating disorder recovery.

Today, I'm counting down the top five episodes of 2025—from number five all the way to the #1 most downloaded episode of the year. Each one of these episodes represents a breakthrough. A shift. A moment where you chose yourself and your recovery over the eating disorder's lies.

My hope for this episode? That it reminds you of the tools you already have, inspires you to keep forging forward, and lights a fire in you as we head into 2026.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

  • The #5 episode that helped you connect your emotions to your eating disorder thoughts
  • The #4 episode that called out what's keeping you stuck (and gave you permission to stop)
  • The #3 episode that showed former athletes how to use their competitive edge for recovery, not restriction
  • The #2 episode that gave you a 3-step framework to end all-or-nothing thinking forever
  • And the #1 MOST DOWNLOADED episode of 2025—the one that helped you move beyond the mirror and overcome body image distortion

Plus, I'm sharing how you can take the next step in your recovery as we head into 2026—because listening is powerful, but implementation is where the magic happens.

Let's dive in, sis. This one's for you. 💛

 

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "These five episodes represent transformation. Growth. Breaking free from the lies. And stepping into your truth."

💛 "Listening to episodes is amazing. But implementation? That's where the magic happens."

💛 "You are not stuck. You are not broken. And freedom is not just possible for you—it's already yours. You just have to choose it."

💛 "The same drive that made you an incredible athlete is the same drive that's going to set you free."

💛 "Recovery is not about perfection. It's about progress."

💛 "The mirror is not the enemy. Your perception is."

READY TO MAKE 2026 YOUR YEAR OF FREEDOM?

If you're sitting here thinking, "Lindsey, I've listened to all these episodes, but I still feel stuck. I still need more support. I still can't do this alone"—I hear you. And I want you to know that you don't have to do this alone.

As we head into 2026, I want to invite you to take the next step in your recovery. You deserve more than just consuming content. You deserve personalized support. You deserve a coach who's going to walk beside you, hold you accountable, and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise.

WORK WITH ME IN 2026

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

My group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery in a safe, sacred space. You get access to me, to the community, to monthly coaching calls, and to a sisterhood that gets it. That gets YOU.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 THE FREEDOM FORMULA EXPERIENCE (1:1 Personalized Coaching)

My signature 1:1 coaching program for the woman who's ready to go all in. Who's ready for deep, transformational work. Who's ready to dismantle the eating disorder once and for all and step into the fullness of who she was created to be.

I'm taking applications right now for 2026. If you're hearing this and something in your spirit is saying, "Yes, this is my time. This is my year"—I want you to listen to that voice.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

Let's talk about what support looks like for you. Let's make 2026 the year you finally break free.

EPISODES MENTIONED

📍 Episode 212: What Is Body Dysmorphic Disorder? 6 Powerful Tips to Overcome Body Image Distortion So That You Can Move Beyond the Mirror 📍 Episode 228: The Recovery Mindset Shift That Ends All-or-Nothing Food & Body Thinking Forever + The 3 Step Framework to Implement it Just for You! 📍 Episode 223: Former Athletes & Eating Disorders ~ Why Freedom Feels Impossible (Until Now) + Your Competitive Edge Solution 📍 Episode 210: STOP Doing These 10 Things if You Feel Stuck & Chained to Disordered Patterns ~ Part 1 📍 Episode 190: Did You Know 92% of Eating Disorder Thoughts Are Hidden Emotions? Here Is the Scientific Truth Behind 'Feeling Fat' + 2 Tools to Help You Silence the Voice

LOVED THIS EPISODE?

If this year-end recap resonated with you: ⭐ Rate and review Her Best Self on Apple Podcasts—it helps more women find freedom 💬 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear these top 5 episodes 📲 Tag me on Instagram with which episode was YOUR favorite this year!

A NOTE FROM LINDSEY

Thank you so much for being here this year. Thank you for trusting me with your story, your struggle, and your journey. Thank you for showing up, even when it's hard.

As we close out 2025, I want you to remember this: You are not stuck. You are not broken. And freedom is not just possible for you—it's already yours. You just have to choose it.

So here's to 2026. Here's to choosing yourself. Here's to showing up. Here's to doing the work. And here's to stepping into the freedom that's been waiting for you all along.

I love you, sis. I believe in you. And I can't wait to see what God does in your life this year.

Until next time, keep forging forward. You've got this. 💛

📧 Email Lindsey: info@lindseynichol.com  🌐 Apply for Recovery Coaching: www.herbestself.co  💕 Join the Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Limited spots available for January coaching - only 2 slots remaining

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 259: Metabolism Myths Debunked ~ Why Your Body Isn't Broken After Disordered Eating + Hypermetabolism in Recovery26 déc. 202500:11:04

Worried that years of disordered eating have permanently damaged your metabolism? You're not alone. In this Coaching Over Coffee episode, Lindsey addresses one of the most common fears in eating disorder recovery: "Is my metabolism broken?"

The truth might surprise you—and it's actually incredibly hopeful.

What You'll Learn in This Episode
  • The truth about metabolism: What it actually is and how it works in your body
  • Can you break your metabolism? Spoiler alert: No, but you can slow it down (and speed it back up!)
  • The myth of "calories in vs. calories out" and why this oversimplified formula doesn't tell the whole story
  • What happens to your body during restriction: How your metabolism, digestion, heart rate, and body temperature all slow down to conserve energy
  • Hypermetabolism in recovery: Why your body goes into "high gear" during the restoration process
  • Science-backed hope: Research showing metabolic changes are fully reversible
  • How to boost your metabolism: Practical steps to work WITH your body instead of against it
  • Set point weight explained: Understanding when your body reaches its optimal performance state
Key Takeaways

Your metabolism isn't broken—it's adaptive. When you restrict food intake over months or years, your body learns to conserve energy by slowing down non-essential functions. Think of it like turning off lights in the house to save power.

Research proves recovery is possible. A University of North Carolina study found zero metabolic differences between women who never had eating disorders and those fully recovered from anorexia and bulimia. All metabolic changes are fully reversible.

50-80% of your energy goes to resting functions. Your body needs fuel for basic organ function, tissue repair, fighting infections, physical activity, and digesting food—all before you even get out of bed.

The opposite of the disorder is the path to healing. Stop restricting. Start fueling. Embrace food variety. Let go of rigid routines. Prioritize hydration, quality sleep, and self-care.

Your body knows better than you think. At set point weight, your metabolism normalizes and your body operates at peak performance—not where society says you should be, but where your body thrives.

Quotes from This Episode

"You can slow down your metabolism and you can speed up your metabolism, but you can't break your metabolism. It's not ruined, it's not wrecked."

"Your body doesn't care how you think it should look, or what society says is the best or the trendiest. Your body cares about its optimal function."

"The lie that your eating disorder mind is telling you—that your metabolism is ruined—is just to keep you stuck, to make you believe there's nothing you can do to fix this."

"Your body will heal itself, but you must learn to trust and to honor it. It's a two-way street."

Resources Mentioned
  • Harvard Medical School research on metabolism variability
  • University of North Carolina and Chapel Hill study on metabolic recovery
What's Next?

If you're tired of missing the magic in your life because you're trapped in those eating disorder thoughts that are eating away at your mind—I want you to take a stand.

💛 Fill out a client application and let's talk about how we can make this season about presence, not perfection.

💛 I'm taking a couple more applications for the new year for personalized coaching and my Freedom Formula experience.

👉 Visit www.herbestself.co to apply

No more missing moments. No more letting the ED steal your holidays. Let's make this season different.

Ready to sign up for our recovery support group? www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

📧 Email Lindsey: info@lindseynichol.com  🌐 Apply for Recovery Coaching: www.herbestself.co  💕 Join the Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Limited spots available for fall coaching - only 2 slots remaining

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 258.5: Missing Christmas Magic Because of Your ED? 3 Ways to Choose Presence Over Perfection🎄**Must Listen Fav!**23 déc. 202500:14:02

The holidays are here. And if you're struggling with an eating disorder, you know exactly what that means—anxiety, overwhelm, and missing the magic happening right in front of you because you're stuck in your head, counting, calculating, and controlling.

But what if this year could be different?

In this fan fav, I'm getting real about how the eating disorder literally steals decades of precious moments from your life.

How many Christmases have you missed because you were trapped in those ED thoughts? How many family gatherings have you sat through physically present but mentally a million miles away?

Here's the truth: The present moment is your present. And it's time to stop letting your eating disorder be the Grinch that steals your holiday joy.

I'm sharing a powerful realization I had while standing in line with my boys to see Santa—how they were fully immersed in the magic while everyone else (myself included) was rushing, stressing, and missing it. And it reminded me: recovery happens in the NOW. Not in the past with regrets. Not in the future with anxiety. Right here. Right now.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why the eating disorder wants to pull you out of the present moment (and how to fight back)
  • The shocking statistics about anxiety during the holidays (and why being present is actually a recovery tool)
  • How 89% of individuals who practice mindfulness during recovery report better outcomes
  • 3 practical ways to choose presence over perfection this holiday season
  • Why your recovery is the most magical gift you can give yourself
  • How to focus on connections over calculations at family gatherings

If you're tired of missing the magic. If you're done letting your ED steal another Christmas. If you're ready to be HERE for the moments that matter—this episode is your holiday recovery guide.

The present is your present, sis. Let's unwrap it together.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "The present is your present. And what I wanted to show up and talk to you about today was how you can be present right now in the magic of the season."

💛 "When you're struggling with an eating disorder, it literally sucks decades, all the good moments from your life. So many moments are missed because you were caught up in those eating disorder thoughts."

💛 "The magic of recovery, just like the magic of Christmas, it happens in the now. It happens in the present. And it happens when we choose to be here, even when it's super, super uncomfortable."

💛 "The eating disorder wants to pull you into the past with regrets or push you into the future with anxiety. But recovery, recovery happens right here, sis. It's right now."

💛 "Connections over calculations. Remember, perfect moments aren't perfectly planned."

💛 "While your eating disorder is trying to steal your holiday joy, she is a true Grinch. You have the power to choose differently."

POWERFUL STATISTICS SHARED IN THIS EPISODE

📊 The average person spends 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they're currently doing—and for those in recovery, that percentage can be even higher.

📊 92% of people report higher anxiety during the holidays

📊 73% of those in recovery say they struggle more with being present during celebrations

📊 89% of individuals who practice being in the moment and are mindful during recovery report better outcomes—not only in how they experience the holidays, but in how they supercharge their recovery forward.

The takeaway? Being present isn't just a nice idea. It's not just a Christmas card quote. It's actually a recovery tool.

3 PRACTICAL WAYS TO STAY PRESENT THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

1. CREATE A PRESENT ANCHOR

Choose a holiday symbol—a Christmas tree, a star, an ornament, whatever is meaningful to you. When you see it, take three deep breaths (check out my mindful meditation episode for guidance). Use this symbol as a grounding tool to come back to the present moment. We're not going to let our minds tell us the direction we're going. We're going to be intentional about what we give our thoughts and time to.

2. PRACTICE THE GIFT OF PRESENCE

Put your phone away. Seriously. Don't just say you're going to do it—actually do it during family activities. Engage in conversations. Notice what you can see, touch, and hear around you. Get fully immersed.

Example: If you have kids, commit to watching a Christmas movie WITHOUT getting up to do the next thing on your to-do list. Sit there. Be present. Let your mind have space where you're not thinking about the next thing.

3. HONOR YOUR RECOVERY IN THIS MAGICAL MOMENT

Take each meal one bite at a time. Focus on connections over calculations. Remember: perfect moments aren't perfectly planned. The eating disorder will leave you isolated, wanting to avoid conversations—but engage in them anyway. This gives you the gift of presence and lets your mind have space.

THE TRUTH ABOUT HOLIDAY GATHERINGS IN RECOVERY

I shared a personal story from a recent family gathering—the kind that in past years would have sent me into a tailspin. Charcuterie boards, espresso martinis, cookies, brownies, shortbread, banana pudding—all the festive treats.

But my recovered self? I enjoyed every bite of nourishment. And I realized how fast time flies. I questioned myself: Do I live here in all the right now moments? Or am I living back there in how it used to be, or fast forward to what hasn't even arrived yet?

The answer: I want to remember all these moments that I have left. All of them.

And so do you.

IF THE HOLIDAYS TRIGGER YOU

I know that if you're drained, overwhelmed, or the holidays just aren't your thing because of past traumas, the eating disorder, or lost loved ones—I totally get that. But there is still something so magical about this time of year. And it's important to live in these moments.

Yes, it might feel uncomfortable. Yes, it might be challenging. But that's where the transformation actually happens. And not only that—that's how it sticks.

If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. In the transformation is the magic. And personally, there's nothing more magical this time of year than true self-transformation. Because that is giving God all the glory in your life—and that is the purpose of the season.

READY TO MAKE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON DIFFERENT?

If you're tired of missing the magic in your life because you're trapped in those eating disorder thoughts that are eating away at your mind—I want you to take a stand.

💛 Fill out a client application and let's talk about how we can make this season about presence, not perfection.

💛 I'm taking a couple more applications for the new year for personalized coaching and my Freedom Formula experience.

👉 Visit www.herbestself.co to apply

No more missing moments. No more letting the ED steal your holidays. Let's make this season different.

Ready to sign up for our recovery support group? www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

📧 Email Lindsey: info@lindseynichol.com  🌐 Apply for Recovery Coaching: www.herbestself.co  💕 Join the Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Limited spots available for fall coaching - only 2 slots remaining

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 258: Start Eating Disorder Recovery Before You Feel Ready ~ Taking Your First Step to Freedom + 100K HBS🎙️Celebration🎉19 déc. 202500:15:53

Sis, if you've been waiting to feel ready before starting your eating disorder recovery journey, this episode is for you. The truth is, you'll never feel completely ready—and that's exactly why you need to start now.

In this powerful episode, I'm sharing why waiting for perfect conditions is just another way the eating disorder keeps you trapped, the personal story of how my own eating disorder began (and why I waited years to start recovering), and the faith step that changed everything for me.

Plus, we're celebrating a HUGE milestone: 100,000 podcast downloads! Thank you for being part of this community of brave women choosing freedom over fear.

As we head into 2026, don't let another year pass while you're still stuck. This could be the moment everything changes—if you're willing to start before you're ready.

🎯 IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

✨ Why you'll never feel "ready" to start recovery (and why that's okay) ✨ The moment my eating disorder began at age 13 in a dance studio—and the rejection that changed everything ✨ What a "faith step" really means and how it differs from feeling confident ✨ The brutal truth about waiting for the "right time"—and how many New Years have already passed ✨ Scripture-based wisdom (Proverbs 3:5-6) on trusting God's path even when you can't see the full journey ✨ How starting creates momentum—even when you're terrified ✨ Two ways to get support on your recovery journey right now ✨ Why inspiration without action keeps you stuck (and what to do instead)

💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS

"You will never feel ready. And that's exactly why you need to start now."

  1. Starting creates momentum. You don't need to see the whole path—you just need to take the next step.
  2. Recovery doesn't wait for readiness. I didn't wait to feel ready to develop an eating disorder. Why should recovery be different?
  3. Faith steps > Perfect conditions. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Start walking, and THEN the path becomes clear.
  4. The eating disorder lies to you. It tells you to wait until after the holidays, after you lose weight, after you feel more in control. Those "afters" never come.
  5. Another year will pass regardless. You can end 2025 exactly where you are now, or you can look back at THIS moment as when everything changed.
  6. Inspiration without action is just noise. That stirring in your heart? That's God inviting you into something greater. But you have to respond.
🙏 FEATURED SCRIPTURE

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Notice it doesn't say, "Wait until the path is straight and THEN start walking." It says submit to Him, start walking, and THEN the path becomes straight.

📖 MY STORY: THE DANCE STUDIO

At thirteen years old, I was a competitive figure skater who lived for the ice and the studio. During dance conditioning, the instructor called out, "Get in line by size!"

Everyone shuffled around, sizing each other up. I stood there frozen, unsure where I belonged.

When I took a step, I heard: "Not here."

Not mean. Just matter-of-fact. But in that moment, everything changed. The joy I felt became fear. Every mirror became an assessment. Within weeks, I started making excuses and eventually stopped going altogether.

That's when I began changing what I ate. Trying to shrink myself to fit into a line where I thought I belonged.

That was the beginning of my eating disorder.

I didn't wait to feel ready for that. But recovery? I waited for YEARS thinking I needed to feel ready first.

🎉 CELEBRATING 100K DOWNLOADS!

We just hit 100,000 downloads on the Her Best Self Podcast!

This milestone isn't just about numbers—it's about YOU. Every brave woman who presses play and says yes to healing. Every person who keeps showing up even when it's hard.

And here's the full-circle moment: I started this podcast before I felt ready. I had no idea it would reach 100,000 downloads. I had no guarantee anyone would listen. But I did it scared. I did it imperfect. I did it before I had it all figured out.

And look where we are now.

The same is possible for YOUR recovery journey. ❤️

💪 READY TO TAKE ACTION?

If you're feeling that stirring in your heart—that little voice saying "maybe it's time"—I want to invite you into something:

OPTION 1: The Recovery Collective (Group Support)

A small, intimate group of brave women who meet every other week to:

  • Share recovery wins and struggles
  • Gain accountability and support
  • Receive coaching in a sacred space
  • Show up as the messy, imperfect, beautiful work-in-progress you are

Investment: $97/month Learn More: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

OPTION 2: 1:1 Private Coaching

Personalized support where we dive deep into:

  • YOUR specific struggles and food rules
  • YOUR unique triggers
  • A customized path forward designed just for you

Next Step: Fill out a client application at www.herbestself.co 

What You Need to Do RIGHT NOW:

👉 Go to www.herbestself.co  and fill out a client application

That's it. Just fill it out. You don't have to commit to anything yet. You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to take that first step.

🔥 CHALLENGE FOR THIS WEEK

What would your life look like a year from now if you started today?

Write it down. Imagine it. Feel it. Then ask yourself: What's the very next step I can take RIGHT NOW?

Don't wait another year. Don't let another 365 days pass with you trapped in this same place.

Start before you're ready.

📱 CONNECT WITH LINDSEY

Website: www.herbestself.co  Recovery Collective: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Instagram: @thelindseynichol Email: info@lindseynichol.com

🎧 SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

If this episode empowered or blessed you, I'd be honored if you:

  • ⭐ Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen
  • 📲 Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear this message
  • 💌 Join our email list at herbestself.co for exclusive content and updates

Your rating and review helps more women find the show and start their journey to freedom!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 257.5: Silence Your Inner "Mean Girl" ~ The 7 Voices Keeping You in Quasi-Recovery (& How to Stop Them) **Must Listen Fav!**16 déc. 202500:21:26

That voice inside your head—the one that tells you you're not good enough, that you need to be perfect, that you're a failure if you rest—she's keeping you stuck. And it's time to silence her.

In this episode, we're diving deep into the seven inner critics that are holding you hostage in quasi-recovery. These voices? They're the reason you can't move forward. They're the reason you feel trapped in the exhausting cycle of trying and failing, restricting and controlling, never feeling like you're doing it right.

But here's the truth: 80% of your thoughts are negative, and 95% of them are repetitive. No wonder you feel stuck. No wonder you lack motivation. No wonder you believe the lies that you'll always be this way.

The good news? You can change your thoughts. And when you change your thoughts, you change your entire life.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • What your inner critic is and how it developed in early childhood
  • The 7 types of inner critics: Perfectionist, Inner Controller, Taskmaster, Destroyer, Underminer, Molder/People Pleaser, and Guilt Tripper
  • Which inner critic is running the show in YOUR mind (and how to identify it)
  • Why your inner critic isn't wrong—it's just a part of you that needs more love
  • How to reframe your negative thoughts and shift your perspective
  • A powerful reflection exercise to help you silence your mean girl once and for all

If you're tired of feeling controlled by that voice in your head, if you're ready to stop believing the lies, and if you're done staying stuck in quasi-recovery—this episode is for you.

It's time to be the boss of you. Not your eating disorder. Not your inner critic. You.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "It's not who you are that holds you back, sis. It's who you think you're not."

💛 "Your inner critic is just that part of you that needs more love, more compassion. You're the boss, not your eating disorder."

💛 "When you change the way that you think, you change your entire life. When you can change your mind, you can recover from your eating disorder."

💛 "80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts on the daily are repetitive. No wonder why you lack motivation. No wonder why you think you're always gonna be here."

💛 "You are the boss of you. You are not a quitter. You are creating a new version of you."

THE 7 INNER CRITICS EXPLAINED

1. THE PERFECTIONIST Sets unrealistic standards and makes you feel inadequate when you don't achieve them. Your self-worth depends on achievement, and mistakes feel catastrophic.

2. THE INNER CONTROLLER Tries to control impulsive behaviors around eating, drinking, or spending. When you slip up, this voice shames you: "You should have known better. You have no willpower."

3. THE TASKMASTER Pushes you to keep going without rest. Fears you'll become "lazy" if you stop. Makes you believe you have to exercise every day or you're unworthy.

4. THE DESTROYER Makes direct attacks on who you are as a person. Tells you you're worthless, broken, a waste of space. This one breeds depression and keeps you trapped.

5. THE UNDERMINER Keeps you small and afraid to take risks. Paralyzes you from believing freedom is possible. Says, "Why try when you're gonna fail anyway?"

6. THE MOLDER (People Pleaser) Makes you adapt and mold yourself to fit in with others. You cut calories, follow rules, stay in your lane—all to be liked and accepted by everyone else.

7. THE GUILT TRIPPER Keeps a record of all your wrongs and never lets you move forward. Reminds you of past failures and says, "This is just who you are. This is your karma."

REFLECTION EXERCISE (5-10 MINUTES)

As you listen to this episode, I want you to identify which inner critic(s) show up most frequently for you. Then, spend 5-10 minutes reflecting:

✨ What are the constant nagging thoughts she says to you? ✨ What is the voice inside your mind constantly telling you? ✨ How are these thoughts simply not true? ✨ What data do you have to prove your mind could be lying?

Now, act as your own BFF, your own ally, your own coach:

  • If your thought is: "I'll never recover" → Shift it: "I'm healing and learning. I'm not there yet, but I'm going there."
  • If your thought is: "This is just too hard" → Shift it: "The more I practice doing the opposite action, the easier it gets."
  • If your thought is: "I always go back to unhealthy patterns" → Ask: "What are some different actions I can take right now so that doesn't happen? How can I show up for my true self?"
RESEARCH MENTIONED

📊 According to the National Science Foundation:

  • You think approximately 60,000 thoughts per day
  • 80% of those thoughts are negative
  • 95% of those thoughts are repetitive

This is why you feel stuck. But you can change this pattern starting today.

RESOURCES + SUPPORT

Ready to silence your inner critic with personalized support?

💛 Work With Me 1:1 - I provide deep accountability, connection, and personalized coaching to help you navigate your inner critics, shift your perspective, and find freedom from food and body. If you're exhausted from these voices running your life, let's work together.

👉 Apply for coaching: Visit www.herbestself.co  and fill out a client application

💛 Join Our Private Community - Connect with other women in recovery who understand what you're going through. Find support, hope, and healing. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

👉 Hope and Healing for Eating Disorder Recovery Facebook Group www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Connect with Lindsey Nichol:

Website: www.herbestself.co

Apply for Coaching: www.herbestself.co

Instagram: @thelindseynichol 

Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Share This Episode:

Know someone who desperately needs to hear this? I'd love for you to share this one.

+If this shifted something in you, please:

  • Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts
  • Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol
  • Screenshot your favorite quote and post it
Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 257: Cozy, Not Lazy ~ Why Rest is Revolutionary in Eating Disorder Recovery + What "Wintering" Teaches Us12 déc. 202500:12:36

What if rest isn't laziness—it's wisdom? What if slowing down isn't a setback—it's the most revolutionary thing you can do in recovery?

In this episode, we're diving into the concept of "wintering"—the intentional act of stepping back, slowing down, and allowing yourself to rest and recharge, just like nature does. 

If you're in eating disorder recovery, this might feel like an absolute riot. Because your ED has convinced you that rest is weakness, that comfort must be earned, and that slowing down means you're flawed.

But sis, it's time to dismantle those lies.

Winter is the season of recovery. It's preparation time. It's when the earth takes what it needs so that spring can even happen. And you? You're allowed to do the same.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • What "wintering" really means and why it's essential for recovery
  • Why the eating disorder makes you feel bad about comfort (and why that's a lie)
  • How to reframe rest as "cozy" instead of "lazy"
  • Why your body knows exactly what it needs—and how to start listening
  • The beautiful truth about finding your own spark in the gray season
  • How winter's silence gives you the choice to finally hear yourself

If you've been running on empty, pushing through exhaustion, or feeling guilty every time you slow down—this episode is your permission slip. Rest is not laziness. Rest is natural. And you deserve it.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "You are allowed comfort. You are allowed to wrap yourself in a soft blanket. To eat warm, nourishing food. To sleep in. To say no. To take up space without earning it."

💛 "What if wintering isn't lazy—it's cozy? What if it's not weakness—it's wisdom? What if rest isn't a setback—it's natural?"

💛 "If plants and the earth are resting, so can you. The trees aren't apologizing for losing their leaves. The ground isn't hustling through winter. Nature understands that rest is not optional; it's essential."

💛 "Winter is the slow-down, the search for self. It's the pause that says, 'Who am I when I'm not running? Who am I when I stop proving? Who am I when I just... am?'"

💛 "This is not laziness. This is survival. This is healing. This is how you prepare for your spring."

IN THIS EPISODE, WE EXPLORE:

✨ The concept of "wintering" and why it matters in eating disorder recovery ✨ How the ED voice makes rest feel impossible—and how to challenge it ✨ Why comfort is not something you have to earn ✨ The difference between "cozy" and "lazy" (spoiler: rest is natural, not flawed) ✨ How your body already knows what it needs—you just have to listen ✨ Why winter's gray helps you see your own color and spark ✨ The gift of silence and choosing to listen to yourself ✨ How to give yourself permission to rest without guilt or shame

Ready to Get Support for the New Year Ahead?

You don't have to winter alone.

Recovery Collective: Group support program with 2x monthly coaching calls and community chat~ www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

One-on-One Coaching: Personalized support to help you discover your true identity and walk in freedom.

Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co

Connect with Lindsey Nichol:

Website: www.herbestself.co

Apply for Coaching: www.herbestself.co

Instagram: @thelindseynichol 

Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Share This Episode:

Know someone who desperately needs to rest and give herself grace but refuses to "winter"? I'd love for you to share this one.

+If this shifted something in you, please:

  • Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts
  • Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol
  • Screenshot your favorite quote and post it
Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 256: Press Play When Anxious▶️~ 3 Guided Meditations to Calm Pre-Meal Panic + Body Image Struggles in ED Recovery09 déc. 202500:15:35

Sis, this season can be all the chaos. It's time you be present with yourself, take a step back, allow yourself rest, peace, and grace. Friend, you owe you.

This episode is DIFFERENT. This isn't just host Lindsey Nichol talking - it's Lindsey GUIDING you through 3 calming meditations specifically designed for your recovery journey.

Save this episode. Bookmark it. Come back to it whenever you need it.

This time of year, anyone can feel overwhelmed by holiday chaos. But for someone with an eating disorder, the anxiety can be crippling. Pre-meal panic. Body image triggers. Overwhelming thoughts that feel impossible to quiet.

Lindsey has walked this path. She knows how overwhelming those thoughts and feelings get, especially during the holidays. That's why she created these simple, powerful meditations to be your companion whenever you need to:

  • Calm pre-meal anxiety before eating with family
  • Ground yourself during a body image crisis
  • Show yourself compassion on the hardest days

Whether you're struggling with pre-meal anxiety, having a hard day with your body image, or just need a moment to ground yourself - press play on this episode.

Come back to this episode when you're feeling overwhelmed, when you're feeling not enough, and when that anxiety feels like it's on overdrive.

The 3 Guided Meditations: Meditation #1: Pre-Meal Calming Meditation (For Anxiety Before Eating)

When to use this:

  • Before lunch or dinner when anxiety feels highest
  • When sitting down with family for meals
  • When you feel panic rising about food choices
  • When the ED voice is loudest before eating

What Lindsey guides you through:

  • Finding comfortable seated position
  • Gentle breathing to become present
  • Noticing thoughts like clouds passing in the sky
  • Hand-on-heart, hand-on-belly grounding
  • Affirmations:
    • "I give my body permission to be nourished"
    • "I choose to feed my body with compassion"
    • "Food is my medicine. This is a good thing"
    • "This is one step in my recovery journey"
  • Breathing mantras:
    • "I am stronger than the eating disorder voice"
    • "I have the wisdom to nourish my body"
    • "I am more than my body"

Duration: ~5 minutes

Key truth: These quiet moments of connection with yourself are powerful. This helps you separate from the ED voice and reconnect with your TRUE self.

Meditation #2: Body Image Grounding Meditation (For Body Hate Days)

When to use this:

  • When you're having a hard body image day
  • When "feeling fat" is overwhelming
  • When critical thoughts about your body won't stop
  • When you need to reconnect with gratitude for your body

Important reminder: "Feeling fat" isn't actually a feeling - it's often your body's way of telling you something else is going on emotionally.

What Lindsey guides you through:

  • Comfortable position (seated or lying down)
  • Noticing where your body contacts the ground (grounding)
  • Body scan from feet to head with gentle awareness:
    • Feet: Connecting to the ground, wiggling toes
    • Legs: Getting stronger, supporting you
    • Core/Stomach: Your true strength, your center (not to be micromanaged)
    • Chest: Rising and falling with each breath
    • Arms/Hands: Tools to express love, create amazing things
    • Head: Houses thoughts AND dreams, desires, wishes
  • Acknowledging judgmental thoughts without judgment
  • Thanking your body for what it allows you to do
  • Self-hug + gratitude: "Thank you for allowing me to walk, breathe, be grounded"

Key practice: When critical thoughts arise, simply say "I notice I'm having a judgmental thought," then return to observing with curiosity.

Duration: ~7 minutes

Key truth: Your body is not your enemy. It's not up for negotiation. It's your HOME - where you live.

Meditation #3: Self-Compassion Meditation (For Suffering + Hard Moments)

When to use this:

  • When you're feeling overwhelmed
  • When you don't honor or love yourself
  • When you don't know where to turn next
  • When you need to be as kind to yourself as you'd be to a friend

What Lindsey guides you through:

  • Thinking of a recent challenge in recovery
  • Noticing emotions and physical sensations
  • Hand over heart, feeling steady heartbeat
  • Affirmations:
    • "This is a moment of suffering"
    • "Suffering will pass - it's part of life and recovery"
    • "I can be kind to myself in this process"
  • Imagining a friend facing the same challenges
  • Asking: "What would I say to them? How would I support them?"
  • Offering yourself that same grace:
    • "I'm doing the best I can"
    • "Recovery takes time"
    • "I'm worthy of patience and understanding"

Key practice: You deserve the same kindness you'd offer your friend, mom, or sister.

Duration: ~5 minutes

Key truth: Your ED voice may be loud this season, but it doesn't have to control you or your actions.

Key Reminders Throughout:

Thoughts Are Like Clouds: They can come in (like your breath) and flow out (like your exhale) without you grabbing onto them.

Your Truth:

  • These thoughts can pass like clouds in the sky
  • You are MORE than these thoughts
  • This voice is NOT your truth
  • You can choose recovery in this exact moment
  • Your worth will NEVER be determined by food or weight
  • You are SAFE here

For Beginners: This isn't about doing it perfectly. It's about giving yourself permission and the gift of being present and compassionate.

How to Use This Episode:

Save it. Bookmark it. Add it to a playlist.

Press play:

  • Before meals when anxiety rises
  • During body image struggles
  • On overwhelmingly hard days
  • Whenever you need grounding

Come back often: These meditations get easier with regular practice. Each time you return to this episode, you're strengthening your recovery toolkit.

Pause anytime: Lindsey guides you through, then gives you space to practice on your own. Feel free to pause and extend any meditation as long as you need.

Powerful Truths from This Episode:
  • "Since your body, it is worthy of nourishment"
  • "These thoughts are like clouds passing in the sky - they can come in and go out without you grabbing onto them"
  • "Your body is not your enemy. It's your home. It's where you live"
  • "Feeling fat isn't actually a feeling - it's often your body's way of telling you something else is going on emotionally"
  • "Your core is your true strength, your center - it's not to be micromanaged"
  • "You deserve the same kindness you would offer to your friend"
  • "Your eating disorder voice may be loud, but it doesn't have to control you"
  • "Recovery isn't about perfection - it's about progress"
  • "These quiet moments of connection are so powerful"
Why These Meditations Work:

They're Specific to ED Recovery: Not generic mindfulness - these address pre-meal panic, body image, and self-compassion specific to eating disorder struggles.

They're Quick: 5-7 minutes each. You can do them anywhere, anytime.

They're Guided: Lindsey walks you through every step. No meditation experience needed.

They're Repeatable: Come back to this episode again and again. Build these into your recovery routine.

They Separate You From the ED Voice: These practices help you recognize that the ED thoughts are NOT you - they're just thoughts passing through.

Your Recovery Toolbox:

These meditations are TOOLS in your recovery toolbox. Use them whenever you need extra support.

Before meals → Meditation #1 Body image crisis → Meditation #2 Hard day/overwhelm → Meditation #3

Remember: You are stronger than you know. You don't have to do this alone.

Ready for More Support?

If you're looking for an extra hand guiding you along the way from somebody who has been there, who has recovered - not just a therapist, but a COACH who has recovered - Lindsey offers:

Recovery Collective Group support with other women on the recovery journey. Community that understands: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

One-on-One Recovery Coaching Personalized guidance from someone who's walked this path and found freedom.

Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co

Connect with Lindsey Nichol:

Website: www.herbestself.co

Apply for Coaching: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit 

Email: info@lindseynickel.com

Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society - www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Instagram: @thelindseynichol

How to Support This Show:

If you found value in today's episode:

  • Leave a review on Apple Podcasts (this helps us reach more women!)
  • Share this episode with someone who needs these meditations
  • Save/bookmark this episode to come back to
  • Join the Her Best Self Facebook community

Your reviews truly help us keep showing up week after week with recovery truth and awareness.

Share This Episode:

Know someone struggling with pre-meal anxiety or body image? Send them this episode. It's a gift they can use again and again.

How to share:

  • "Press play on this when you're anxious before meals"
  • "Saved this meditation episode for you"
  • "This helped me calm down - thought you might need it too"
Remember, Friend:

You are stronger than you know.

You do not have to do this alone.

Recovery isn't about perfection - it's about progress. And that means showing up for yourself one moment, one breath at a time.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 255.5: 11 Recovery Wins That Have Nothing to Do with the Scale (Celebrate Your Small Victories)🎉05 déc. 202500:23:17

Sister, friend, we've got to celebrate all that you're accomplishing in eating disorder recovery. And one of those accomplishments? Maybe you're listening to today's show and starting to recognize this is a problem in your life. Celebrate that win.

Your life has been measured around LESS. Less food, less weight, less energy. You're more successful by being less, running on less, weighing less, consuming less. But today, we're celebrating victories that have nothing to do with the scale.

Host Lindsey Nichol shares 11 recovery wins to celebrate that measure MORE goodness in your life - not lack, not weighing less, not being less. Because girlfriend, you're gaining so much more than the weight you're terrified to gain.

This process of recovery, of letting yourself BE (not letting yourself go, but surrendering to who you truly are inside) - that's what we're celebrating today.

Stop measuring your worth by a number. Start celebrating these wins.

The 11 Recovery Wins to Celebrate: Win #1: When You Eat MORE

Celebrate: That snack. Adding nuts to your oatmeal. Adding something versus restricting. Truth: When you eat more, you think bigger. Your mind uses fuel to function. Action: Add one extra thing today - more protein, more than coffee for breakfast, something.

Win #2: When You Challenge THAT Thought

The thought: "You shouldn't have had that. Now you have to wait until dinner. You need to run an extra hour." Celebrate: When you sit that thought down and tell it to shut up. Truth: "Not today. I'm not running 45 minutes because I had carbs. I'm taking a walk and nourishing my body."

Win #3: When You Face a Fear Food

Not: Going from nothing to 50 donuts (that's not what we're doing). Celebrate: Integrating something that's been a struggle. Breaking a rigid rule. Examples: Having cashews at dinner when you only "allowed" almonds at breakfast. Two tablespoons of peanut butter instead of one. Action: Try something outside your normal rigid routine. Eat at a different time. Try a new snack. Get conscious with your eating.

Win #4: When You Get Intuitive and Reflect

Celebrate: Journaling. Getting present with your feelings. Truth: "Today sucks. I don't want to gain weight. I'm feeling heavy. I'm not sure I'm all in. I'm going to let these feelings in, sit with them, and move on." Remember: We cannot heal what we cannot feel.

Win #5: When You Exercise for Enjoyment (Or Don't Exercise at All)

Celebrate: Moving your body for FUN, not punishment. Examples: Taking a walk just to reflect. Going to yoga to try something new. Skipping exercise to REST. Truth: No one said you weren't allowed. Grant yourself permission.

Win #6: When You Want STRENGTH Over Skinny

The shift: Wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier. Celebrate: When you're putting yourself first, nourishing your body, starting to believe in the process. Truth: You're going to feel liberated, clearer minded, STRONGER. That's winning.

Win #7: When You Go Out to Dinner Without Anxiety

Not overnight: You don't go from making excuses to avoid restaurants to enjoying dinner stress-free immediately. Celebrate: When you can be PRESENT in the moment. When you hear the nasty thoughts and say "Not for these 45 minutes." Win: Saying yes to events instead of isolating.

Win #8: When You Get OFF the Scale

The game changer: No longer allowing the scale to define your worthiness. Truth: Not looking at the number to define what you can eat today or what you have to restrict tomorrow. Celebrate: If you're not weighing yourself every second and you're starting to lay that down - that's MASSIVE.

Win #9: When You Notice More Energy and Better Sleep

Celebrate: Having more brain function. Getting clearer, more sound sleep. Truth: Your body's not running on SILENCE anymore. Things underneath are working properly because you're nourishing yourself. Notice: Different energy spikes after eating. Give yourself props for this.

Win #10: When You Let Go of Shame and Guilt After Meals

Celebrate: "I gave myself permission to eat something I normally don't eat. I'm on this pathway to recovery. I know I'm fearful, but I'm creating a healthier place for me." Action: Set down the shame. Ask yourself: "What do I need to do right now to not let this consume me?" Win: That's MASSIVE. Celebrate that victory.

Win #11: When You Get SUPPORT and Commit

The biggest win: Acknowledging you need help and support. Truth: You weren't meant to do this alone. You just weren't. Question: Wouldn't you want help from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer?

Key Takeaways:

✨ Your life has been measured by LESS - recovery is measured by MORE

✨ Eating disorders become a game - the more successful at restriction, the more achievement we feel

✨ We need to measure with a NEW measuring stick - small victories

✨ When you eat more, you think bigger - your mind needs fuel

✨ Challenge the thought - sit it down and tell it to shut up

✨ We cannot heal what we cannot feel - sit in the discomfort

✨ Want STRENGTH over SKINNY - that's the breaking point toward triumph

✨ Getting off the scale is where the game changes

✨ Recovery takes time - celebrate the small wins in the messy middle

✨ Every single thing against negative behaviors needs to be PRAISED

Powerful Quotes:
  • "Your life is measured around success of LACK. Your life is measured off of having less"
  • "Eating disorders become a game - the more successful we are at restriction and manipulation, the more personal achievement we have"
  • "We are not measuring lack. We are measuring the small wins creating more goodness in our life"
  • "You are gaining so much more than weight that you're terrified to gain"
  • "When you eat more, you think bigger"
  • "We cannot heal what we cannot feel"
  • "Celebrate wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier"
  • "Recovery takes time. Sometimes you live in this messy middle place where it feels hard, it feels mundane"
  • "Your success is a series of small victories and small wins"
  • "The first and greatest victory is to conquer you" - Plato
  • "Today is your opportunity to create the tomorrow that you want"
Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters:

The Perfectionist Trap: Living in black and white thinking makes it hard to find wins because we measure against an unrealistic stick. But counting each win grants compassion and grace to create momentum.

The Messy Middle: Recovery isn't linear. You slip backwards, move forwards, slip backwards again. You throw your hands up and wonder "Was I really that miserable before?" THIS is where measuring small victories matters most.

The Scale Obsession: When you've been chained, obsessed, and addicted to taking personal worth inventory over the scale, it's hard to measure differently. But we MUST celebrate victories that have nothing to do with that number.

The Truth: Every single thing you do against negative behaviors keeping you stuck is something that needs to be PRAISED. This creates the momentum you need to keep going.

If You're Not There Yet:

Listen: If you're thinking "I want to celebrate recovery wins but I'm not in recovery yet" - STOP.

Celebrate THIS: You're listening to this podcast. You're not here by accident. You're not searching for the new craze diet. You're here because you know something is going on. You're tired of this struggle.

Praise that. Hold that close to your heart. You were brought here for a reason.

The reason? It has more to do than just experiencing freedom from food controlling your life. When you start finding your purpose because you have more brain capacity, because you're nourishing yourself, because you're finally LIVING - that's where life lives. That's where you're supposed to be.

Ready to Stop Doing This Alone?

You weren't meant to do recovery by yourself. Wouldn't you want help and support from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer?

Recovery Collective Group support program with accountability outside of yourself. Bi-weekly coaching calls, supportive community, and the focus and action you need to get from one place to the other.

One-on-One Recovery Coaching Personalized support to help you celebrate these wins and create more of them. We literally walk over the bridge together - from where you are to where you want to be.

Why it matters: Accountability is a MUST. Recovery coaching is an extra layer to your care team that's going to get you THRIVING.

Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co

Connect with Lindsey Nichol:

Website: www.herbestself.co

Apply for Support: www.herbestself.co

Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Instagram: @thelindseynichol

Your Challenge:

Pick ONE of these 11 wins and celebrate it today. Then come share it in the Her Best Self Facebook community. We want to celebrate WITH you.

Remember: Simple, still moments bring the most peace, clarity, and confirmation for your success. Your success is a series of small victories and small wins.

Share This Episode:

Know someone who needs to celebrate recovery wins beyond the scale? Send them this episode.

If this touched your heart today, please:

  • Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts
  • Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol
  • Screenshot your favorite win and post it
  • Join the Facebook community and celebrate your wins with us
Remember, Friend:

"The first and greatest victory is to conquer you." - Plato

Start believing in YOU. Start believing this is possible for you. Look around and believe you're worthy of it - because you are.

Celebrate your small wins that have absolutely nothing to do with the measurement of a scale.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 255: Sis, Stop Identifying as Disordered! You're Not a Number, a Diagnosis, or a Label ~ Get Rooted in the RIGHT Identity for the New Year02 déc. 202500:18:48

Girlfriend, if you want freedom from your eating disorder in the new year, you can't keep identifying AS the eating disorder.

In this powerful new episode, host Lindsey Nichol gets vulnerable about being defined by labels - the number on the clothing tag, the OSFED diagnosis that made her feel "not sick enough," then the anorexia diagnosis that felt like she'd "earned" being officially sick. She shares the moment she realized the energy it took to be everyone's label was debilitating - and how everything changed when she stopped identifying as disordered and started living from her TRUE identity.

Here's the truth: If you are defined by your labels, you're also confined by your labels. And no label - no matter how authoritative, no diagnosis, no number, no title - can contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become.

You are NOT your eating disorder. You are NOT your diagnosis. You are NOT the number on the tag.

You are a saint. An heir. A daughter of the Most High. Royalty.

This episode will shift how you see yourself and give you a tangible exercise to discover your true identity as we head into a new year.

What You'll Learn:

The Label Trap

  • Arianna Huffington's truth: No label can contain who you might become
  • How the ED voice defines you by WHAT you have/do, never WHO you are
  • Why being defined by labels means you're also confused by them

Lindsey's Vulnerable Label Story

  • Obsessed with the number on clothing tags
  • OSFED diagnosis: feeling "not sick enough"
  • Anorexia diagnosis: feeling "officially sick"
  • The shift: When being someone else's label became debilitating
  • Realizing she wasn't designed to be a label - she was designed to be HER

The Labels Keeping You Stuck

  • "Anorexic," "bulimic," "the girl with the eating disorder"
  • "The fit one," "the vegan," "the one on a diet"
  • "Perfectionist," "people pleaser," "the sick one"
  • Even "recovered" can become a trap
  • Research: 80% of New Year's resolutions fail because they're rooted in outcomes, not identity

Who God Says You REALLY Are

  • Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
  • Chosen - royal priesthood, holy nation (1 Peter 2:9)
  • Deeply loved - nothing can separate you (Romans 8:38-39)
  • A new creation - old is gone, new is here (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  • An heir - daughter of the King, royalty (Galatians 4:7)

The New Year Identity Shift

  • Most resolutions fail because they're about WHAT you want to do
  • Identity-based change is more powerful than outcome-based goals
  • You can't identify as "the girl with the eating disorder" and expect to live free
  • When you change your identity, your behavior follows
  • Stop identifying as disordered, start identifying as WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE
Your Tangible Exercise:

Step 1: Write down FALSE labels you've been carrying (Anorexic, bulimic, the number on the tag, not good enough, the sick one, etc.)

Step 2: Cross them ALL out (These are NOT your identity - they're lies that cannot contain who you might become)

Step 3: Write down WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE

  • I am fearfully and wonderfully made
  • I am chosen
  • I am deeply loved
  • I am a new creation
  • I am an heir
  • I am a daughter of the Most High
  • I am royalty
  • I am a saint
  • I am NOT my eating disorder
  • I am created for freedom

Step 4: Read these truths OUT LOUD (Let your ears hear what God says about you)

Step 5: Live from THIS identity (Not from labels, not from diagnosis, not from what people call you)

Key Takeaways:

✨ If you're defined by your labels, you're also confused by your labels

✨ No label can contain who you might become

✨ The ED voice tells you WHAT you have/do, never WHO you are

✨ You are NOT: your eating disorder, your diagnosis, your size, your past

✨ You ARE: a saint, an heir, a daughter of the Most High, royalty

✨ 80% of New Year's resolutions fail - identity-based change is what works

✨ Stop identifying as disordered, start identifying as who God says you are

✨ When you change your identity, your behavior follows

Powerful Quotes:
  • "No label, no matter how authoritative - one given to you by a doctor or a boss - no title, no dollar sign can ever contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become." - Arianna Huffington
  • "If you are defined by your labels, you're also confused by your labels"
  • "The eating disorder voice loved defining me by WHAT I had and WHAT I did. But it never told me WHO I was"
  • "The energy it took to remain someone else's label was absolutely debilitating"
  • "I wasn't designed to be a label. I was designed to be ME"
  • "You weren't designed to be 'anorexic.' You were designed to be a daughter of the Most High"
  • "If you keep identifying as 'the girl with the eating disorder,' you will keep living like the girl with the eating disorder"
  • "You are NOT your eating disorder. You are a saint, an heir, a daughter of the Most High, royalty"
  • "When you're rooted in THAT identity - when that becomes your foundation - everything changes"
  • "You can't keep identifying AS the eating disorder and expect to live free"
  • "No label can contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become"
Ready to Get Support for the New Year Ahead?

You don't have to root yourself in the right identity alone.

Recovery Collective: Group support program with bi-weekly coaching calls and community chat~ www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

One-on-One Coaching: Personalized support to help you discover your true identity and walk in freedom

Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co

Connect with Lindsey Nichol:

Website: www.herbestself.co

Apply for Coaching: www.herbestself.co

Instagram: @thelindseynichol 

Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Share This Episode:

Know someone who's been identifying as their eating disorder? Send them this episode.

If this shifted something in you, please:

  • Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts
  • Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol
  • Screenshot your favorite quote and post it
  • Do the identity exercise and share your breakthrough
Remember, Sis:

You are NOT your eating disorder.

You are NOT your diagnosis.

You are NOT a number or a label.

You are a saint. An heir. A daughter of the Most High. Royalty.

That's your TRUE identity. Now go live like it.

You really can move from perfection to purpose. Let's break the chains together.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 254:🖤Black Friday Special🖤~ Finding Gratitude in ED Recovery (Even When It's Hard) + The 3 Things I'm Most Thankful for Right Now28 nov. 202500:11:55

Hey girlfriend, happy day after Thanksgiving.

Maybe yesterday was really hard for you. Maybe you broke a boundary. Maybe you're beating yourself up right now. Maybe you barely survived Thanksgiving dinner and you're exhausted.

You made it through. You're here. And today, we're going to talk about gratitude anyway.

In this special mini episode, host Lindsey Nichol gets vulnerable about a season when she couldn't feel grateful for anything - when she was so trapped in her eating disorder that gratitude felt impossible. She shares what she's genuinely, deeply thankful for this season, and invites you to find your own gratitude too - even in the mess, even in the middle of the struggle.

Because here's the truth: Gratitude doesn't require perfection. It doesn't require having it all together. It doesn't require that yesterday went well.

Gratitude just requires being willing to look for the light, even in the hard.

Plus: A special Black Friday opportunity to invest in yourself and your recovery (because the best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing).

This is a quick dose of hope, vulnerability, and possibility for the day after Thanksgiving. You survived yesterday. Now let's find the gratitude together.

In This Mini Episode, You'll Hear:

If Yesterday Was Hard

  • Maybe you broke a boundary at Thanksgiving dinner
  • Maybe you're beating yourself up today
  • Maybe you barely survived and you're exhausted
  • You made it through - and that matters
  • Today we're talking about gratitude anyway

When Gratitude Felt Impossible

  • Lindsey's vulnerable truth: there was a season she couldn't FEEL gratitude
  • Not that she wasn't grateful - she literally couldn't access the feeling
  • Trapped in the eating disorder, consumed, numb, disconnected
  • Sitting at Thanksgiving tables saying generic things but not feeling it
  • Just surviving, just getting through, counting and calculating
  • If that's where you are today - Lindsey sees you, she's been you
  • Recovery gave her gratitude back - the ability to not just say it but FEEL it
  • That's possible for you too

What Lindsey Is Thankful For This Season:

#1: Her Clients and Listeners (YOU)

  • This community of women fighting for their freedom
  • Doing the hard things, showing up even when it's scary
  • Women in one-on-one coaching keeping promises to themselves
  • Women in Recovery Collective supporting each other
  • Messages saying "this episode came at the exact right time"
  • You inspire her every single day
  • You remind her why she does this work
  • You remind her that recovery is possible
  • Thank you for trusting her with your stories

#2: Recovery Is a Journey

  • That it's not linear
  • Constantly evolving, growing, teaching
  • Used to think recovery meant "fixed" - arriving at perfection
  • But recovery taught her it's not about arriving, it's the JOURNEY
  • Learning and growing and evolving
  • Becoming more of who she's meant to be, one choice at a time
  • Grateful she gets to keep learning and discovering
  • Grateful she gets to mess up and extend herself grace
  • Recovery isn't a destination - it's a way of life
  • Choosing yourself every day

#3: Keeping Promises 

  • This might sound small, but it's everything
  • For so long, she broke every promise to herself
  • Every broken promise reinforced she couldn't trust herself
  • Recovery taught her that keeping promises builds self-trust
  • Proves to herself she's worthy of showing up for
  • Now she keeps her promises - not perfectly, but consistently
  • That has changed everything
  • She can look in the mirror and know when she says she'll do something, she does it
  • That's freedom. That's recovery.

Your Gratitude Invitation

  • What are YOU thankful for this season?
  • It might feel hard, especially if yesterday was rough
  • But look for it anyway - gratitude doesn't require perfection
  • Maybe you're thankful you made it through Thanksgiving (even if messy)
  • Maybe you're thankful for one person who showed up for you
  • Maybe you're thankful you're still here, still fighting, still trying
  • Maybe you're thankful for your body (even if you don't love it) because it's carrying you
  • Maybe you're thankful that recovery is possible, even if you're not there yet
  • Find it. Write it down. Speak it out loud. Let yourself feel it.
  • Gratitude is a practice - the more we practice, the more we can access it

Black Friday Investment Opportunity

  • Today is Black Friday - you're getting a million emails about sales
  • But Lindsey wants to offer something different: investing in YOURSELF
  • The best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing
  • Two special opportunities available today through Sunday
Special Black Friday Offers (Through Sunday Only): Option 1: Recovery Collective - $47/month

What You Get:

  • Live group coaching calls every other week (one hour each)
  • Texting chat community for support between calls
  • Connection with other women who GET IT
  • Accountability, tools, and strategies for your recovery journey

This is for you if:

  • You need community and support
  • You want guidance but aren't ready for one-on-one yet
  • You're tired of doing this alone
  • You want connection with women who understand

Join here: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching - $500 OFF

What You Get:

  • Weekly coaching sessions customized for YOU
  • Someone walking beside you every single week
  • A plan specifically for YOUR challenges, triggers, and recovery path
  • Personalized, intensive support to get from where you are to where you want to be

This is for you if:

  • You're ready for customized, personalized support
  • You want someone in your corner weekly
  • You need a plan made specifically for you
  • You're done doing this alone
How to Claim Either Offer:

Go to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

These offers are ONLY available through Sunday.

Limited spots available.

If you're thinking:

  • "This is my sign" - it is
  • "I can't do this alone anymore" - you don't have to
  • "I'm ready to invest in myself" - Lindsey is here for you

Black Friday isn't just about buying things. It's about investing in what matters.

And YOU matter. Your recovery matters. Your freedom matters.

Key Takeaways:

✨ You made it through Thanksgiving - even if it was hard, you're here

✨ Gratitude doesn't require perfection or having it all together

✨ There was a season Lindsey couldn't FEEL gratitude - she was too numb, too consumed

✨ Recovery gave her the ability to feel gratitude again - that's possible for you too

✨ Lindsey is grateful for: her clients/listeners, recovery as a journey, keeping promises to herself

✨ You can find gratitude even in the struggle - even if it's small

✨ Recovery isn't a destination, it's a journey - constantly evolving and growing

✨ Keeping promises to yourself builds self-trust and proves you're worth showing up for

✨ The best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing

✨ Black Friday offers available through Sunday: Recovery Collective $47/month or $500 off 1-on-1

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "Maybe yesterday was really hard for you. Maybe you broke a boundary. Maybe you're beating yourself up. You made it through. You're here."
  • "Gratitude doesn't require perfection. It doesn't require having it all together. It doesn't require that yesterday went well"
  • "Gratitude just requires being willing to look for the light, even in the hard"
  • "There was a season of my life when I couldn't feel grateful for anything. I literally couldn't FEEL it"
  • "I was so consumed, so numb, so disconnected from myself that I couldn't access those feelings"
  • "Recovery gave me my gratitude back. It gave me the ability to not just say I'm thankful, but to actually FEEL it"
  • "You inspire me every single day. You remind me why I do this work"
  • "Recovery isn't a destination. It's a way of life. It's choosing yourself every day"
  • "Keeping promises to myself is how I build trust with myself"
  • "That's freedom, girlfriend. That's recovery"
  • "Gratitude is a practice. The more we practice it, the more we can access it"
  • "The best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing"
  • "Black Friday isn't just about buying things. It's about investing in what matters"
  • "YOU matter. Your recovery matters. Your freedom matters"
Gratitude Practice for You: Your Invitation:

Write down 3 things you're thankful for this season.

Prompts if You're Struggling:
  • What's one thing that went RIGHT yesterday (even if small)?
  • Who is one person in your corner?
  • What's one thing your body did for you yesterday?
  • What's one step you've taken in recovery (no matter how small)?
  • What's one hope you have for your future?
  • What's one thing you can appreciate about yourself today?
Remember:
  • It doesn't have to be big
  • It doesn't have to be perfect
  • It can be messy
  • It can be hard to find
  • That's okay - you're practicing
The Practice:
  1. Write it down (in your Tarjay journal!)
  2. Speak it out loud
  3. Let yourself feel it, even for just a moment
  4. Come back to it when things get hard
Questions to Reflect On:

About Yesterday:

  • How do you feel about how Thanksgiving went?
  • Are you beating yourself up about something?
  • What's one thing you can give yourself grace for?
  • Did you make it through? (If yes, that counts!)

About Gratitude:

  • When was the last time you felt genuine gratitude?
  • What made that moment different?
  • What's blocking you from feeling grateful today?
  • Can you practice looking for light even in the hard?

About Your Recovery:

  • Are you doing this alone or do you have support?
  • What would change if you had community?
  • What would change if you had personalized guidance?
  • What's holding you back from investing in yourself?

About Black Friday:

  • What are you investing in today?
  • What if you invested in YOUR healing instead of just "stuff"?
  • What would it mean to prioritize yourself?
  • Is this your sign to finally get support?
Who This Episode Is For:

This mini episode is for you if:

  • Yesterday (Thanksgiving) was really hard
  • You're beating yourself up today
  • You barely survived Thanksgiving dinner
  • You feel exhausted and triggered
  • You can't feel gratitude right now
  • You're numb and disconnected
  • You made it through but don't feel proud
  • You want to find gratitude but don't know how
  • You need a reminder that you're not alone
  • You're considering getting support but haven't yet
  • You've been doing this alone and you're tired
  • You're ready to invest in yourself
  • You need community or personalized guidance
  • You want to make next Thanksgiving different
Why This Episode Matters:

Timing: Released the day after Thanksgiving when:

  • You're exhausted from surviving yesterday
  • You might be triggered or beating yourself up
  • You're looking for hope and encouragement
  • You're in the mindset of investment (Black Friday)
  • You're thinking about what you want to be different next year

Message: You don't have to be perfect to practice gratitude. You don't have to have a "good" Thanksgiving to find things to be thankful for. And you don't have to do recovery alone.

Opportunity: Special Black Friday offers make this the PERFECT time to invest in yourself and get the support you need so next year is different.

Ready to Invest in Your Recovery?

Don't Wait Until Next Thanksgiving to Get Support

You just survived another Thanksgiving trapped in the eating disorder. You made it through, but was it how you want to live?

Next year can be different. But only if you get support NOW.

Two Options Available Through Sunday:

Recovery Collective - $47/month

Group support, bi-weekly calls, texting community. You're not alone anymore.

One-on-One Coaching - $500 OFF

Personalized support, weekly sessions, custom plan for YOU. Finally get the guidance you need.

Apply now at herbestself.co

Offers end Sunday. Limited spots available.

This is your sign. This is your moment. Invest in yourself.

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 253.5: When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your ED ~ How to Set Boundaries This Holiday Season25 nov. 202500:21:40

Your family doesn't understand your eating disorder. They make comments about your food. They trigger you at every holiday gathering. You're walking on eggshells, feeling attacked, and wondering if recovery is even possible around them.

Girlfriend, this episode is for you.

Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable moment - her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time, saying "I had no idea what I was doing during your recovery. I just knew I needed to help you." This emotional conversation revealed a profound truth: families don't understand because they're trying to understand while dealing with their own pain.

In this powerful episode, Lindsey addresses both sides of the struggle - what to do when your family doesn't understand your eating disorder, AND what loved ones need to know about supporting someone in recovery. Because the truth is, hurt people hurt people. And your family's "attacks" might actually be their way of coping with fear, denial, and their own feelings of helplessness.

Whether you're dreading Thanksgiving dinner, anxious about Christmas gatherings, or just trying to survive family events without being triggered - this episode gives you the boundaries, scripts, and strategies you need to protect your recovery while staying connected to the people you love.

This is for you if you're struggling. This is for you if you're supporting someone. This is for all of us navigating the complexity of family, recovery, and the holidays.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

Lindsey's Mom's Tearful Phone Call

  • Her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time
  • "I had no idea what I was doing through your healing journey"
  • "I just knew you were my only child and I wasn't gonna have it"
  • How she educated herself about eating disorders but still felt lost
  • "Most of the time I had no idea what to do next"
  • The growth that's happened over the years in their relationship
  • Why this conversation was so powerful and needed

The Truth About Family Not Understanding

  • When your family doesn't understand, it can be paralyzing
  • Even though Lindsey's mom didn't understand HOW to support her, she loved her
  • The message: Love doesn't always know how to show up correctly
  • There is so much happening in your mind that family can't see
  • The growth that happens over time as you work through recovery together

Why This Matters for YOU

  • You don't have to sit in this mess and let it become who you are
  • This is just a speed bump in your journey
  • If you're a parent struggling with what to do next, you don't have to have it all figured out
  • It's important to get as educated as possible to support your loved one
  • The importance of boundaries on BOTH sides during recovery

The Reality: Your ED Affects Everyone

  • This illness affects and hurts every person close to you
  • Yes, it's isolating, but it echoes to everyone around you like dominoes
  • You can be in your own feelings thinking it's not harming people, but it is
  • If you don't have energy, you're snapping at your kids
  • If you aren't nourishing yourself, you're not giving your best to others
  • You may be triggered by family comments, but they're dealing with their own emotions too

Why Your Family Seems Unsupportive

  • Everyone in your life has their own way of coping with what you're struggling with
  • If you're resisting recovery, your family might be resisting change too
  • They may seem unsupportive or attacking, but this is THEIR way of handling and coping
  • Lindsey's mom was terrified and avoiding judgment from others
  • She told NO ONE - not even immediate family
  • She took it on as self-blame: "What did I do wrong as a parent?"
  • Your illness is NOT isolated - it's impacting everyone, even if it feels isolating to you

The Walking on Eggshells Reality

  • Lindsey's mom felt like she was walking on eggshells
  • She never knew if she'd trigger Lindsey or push her in the opposite direction
  • She never knew what mood Lindsey was in or what she'd eaten last
  • When she asked questions, it was to gain understanding
  • But Lindsey couldn't give that understanding because she was trying to figure it out herself
  • There was positive intent 9 times out of 10
  • Even anger or denial often comes from positive intent

The Phases of Denial

  • Lindsey was in denial of the disorder
  • Her mom was ALSO in denial that this could happen to her child
  • Her mom was angry - all those feelings were valid and real
  • Being in denial works in many ways on both sides
  • You might not feel "sick enough" but that's not the point
  • Even loved ones go through phases of denial before they can help

Hurt People Hurt People

  • This is how pain gets passed on generation after generation
  • Lindsey doesn't want you to just break chains of ED
  • She wants you to break chains FOR your loved ones and yourself
  • Meet anger with kindness and understanding
  • Be compassionate while honoring your path
  • This is hard because we want to be left alone in the disorder
Boundaries & Strategies You Can Set: Strategy #1: Use Your Voice

Brené Brown says: "When we are busy pleasing and perfecting and performing, we end up saying yes a lot when we mean no."

  • Use your voice
  • Share with people closest to you where you are in your journey
  • Share where you are in your struggle
  • This was the hardest thing - Lindsey didn't share, she just dealt with her own stuff
  • She wasn't ready to share when she was being probed
  • Share if they're SAFE people (this is important)
  • Ask them for support
  • Ask them for what you need from them

Why This Matters: If you're a people pleaser, this is hard. But if your support system is trying to fix or please you, they actually NEED something to do. Give them something to do that makes them feel like they're helping.

Strategy #2: Have the Hard Conversations
  • Let people in your circle know how they can show up for you in hard times
  • Have those vulnerable moments
  • Lindsey wishes she would have done this
  • Hear them and remain open-minded
  • Let them share their feelings too
Strategy #3: Decide Your Boundaries & SHARE Them

What to Say:

  • "I know that you care about me, but comments about my food choices right now aren't helpful for my recovery journey"
  • "I appreciate you and I know that you love me, but I'm working with a care team and professionals to help guide my journey and health forward"
  • "I need to heal my relationship with my food, so I'm going to remove myself from any diet conversations or triggering discussions this holiday season because I don't want to absorb that. It's the opposite of what I'm trying to do"
Strategy #4: Pre-Plan to Ease Overwhelm

As you go into the holiday season with family gatherings and events:

  • Have self-care practices in place
  • Know your go-to's for triggering situations
  • Sometimes this looks like an EXIT STRATEGY

Lindsey's Example: Even YEARS after recovering from anorexia, she'd go to Thanksgiving wondering:

  • Are people watching if Lindsay takes the roll?
  • Are they watching if Lindsay has stuffing?
  • If she only has a bite of pie vs. a slice, does that mean she's struggling again?
  • She felt like people were watching her in a fish tank

The Truth: That was HER stuff. Even if they ARE watching, you're strong in your decision-making. You're strong in your truth. You know you're for YOU.

Strategy #5: Have an Exit Strategy

If you're going to be around someone super triggering:

  • Share your voice
  • Speak your truth
  • Be true to you
  • Go with other people
  • BUT if you get super triggered, know that's not going to help you hours or days after
  • Have an EXIT STRATEGY ready
  • It's okay to focus on recovery while participating in traditions
Strategy #6: Reflect on Your Growth
  • How am I different this Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year than last year?
  • How has my mind grown?
  • How has my heart grown?
  • What are my dreams?

The Reality: When you're stuck in the disorder, you can't have dreams because it robs you of thinking further along than the current moment. All you can think about is what you can eat next or can't.

Strategy #7: Put Yourself Around Understanding People

Take care of YOU. Spend time with people who understand where you are.

But even if they DON'T understand - boundaries provide healthy structure.

The Truth: You're a structure queen. Structure is essential in building anything that lasts and thrives. You've got to have healthy structure.

Boundaries = valuing you + bettering you

For Loved Ones & Supporters:

If You're Supporting Someone With an ED:

Your Boundaries Are Just As Important
  • When Lindsey's mom was trying to help, fix, and do all the things - she wasn't taking care of HERSELF
  • She wasn't honoring her own needs
  • She was walking on eggshells worried something she said would set Lindsey off
  • Setting boundaries isn't about pushing that person away
  • That's actually ENABLING them by isolating them more into the disorder
What to Say:

"I feel like there is something going on with you. I want to support you. I'm seeing changes in you. I want to help you, and right now maybe I don't even know what that looks like, but I just want you to feel seen and loved by me. I want to hold your hand. When you need me - and we all will have that breakdown mode - I'm here."

When They Pull Away:

Sometimes when somebody pulls away, it means they need space to process.

Lindsey's Truth: She knew what her mom was telling her was the truth because she loved and looked up to her. Part of her heart already KNEW. Part of her was searching for someone to say it. But she was feeling all these different feelings.

Brain Dump Your Feelings

Whether you're the one struggling OR the caretaker - brain dump all those feelings. That's part of healing.

Remember: Hurt people hurt people.

Key Takeaways:

✨ When your family doesn't understand, it's paralyzing - but love doesn't always know how to show up correctly

✨ Your eating disorder affects EVERYONE close to you, even if it feels isolating

✨ People that love you usually mean well - they're just not sure HOW to mean well

✨ Your family's "attacks" are often their way of coping with fear, denial, and helplessness

✨ Hurt people hurt people - pain gets passed on generation after generation

✨ Use your voice - share where you are with SAFE people and ask for what you need

✨ Boundaries value you and better you - they create space to heal

✨ Have an exit strategy for triggering holiday situations

✨ Pre-plan your self-care practices before family gatherings

✨ Setting boundaries isn't pushing family away - it's creating space you need to heal

✨ Your recovery journey deserves respect and protection

✨ If you're a supporter, your boundaries are just as important

✨ When someone pulls away, they often just need space to process

Questions to Reflect On:

About Your Family:

  • Does your family understand what you're going through?
  • Do you feel attacked or on defense around them?
  • Have you shared where you are in your journey with safe people?
  • What do you need from them that you haven't asked for?
  • Are you resisting their help because you're not ready?

About Your Boundaries:

  • What boundaries do you need to set this holiday season?
  • Have you shared those boundaries clearly?
  • Do you have an exit strategy for triggering situations?
  • What self-care practices do you have in place?
  • Are you putting yourself around understanding people?

About Your Growth:

  • How are you different this year than last year?
  • How has your mind grown?
  • How has your heart grown?
  • What are your dreams now?
  • Can you think beyond the current moment?

If You're a Supporter:

  • Are you taking care of yourself while supporting your loved one?
  • Are you setting your own boundaries?
  • Are you walking on eggshells worried you'll set them off?
  • Have you asked them what they need instead of assuming?
  • Are you creating space for them to process?
Ready to Navigate the Holidays With Support?

Don't Face the Holidays Alone

If you need support this season because you don't have that support person, or no one understands you, or you feel like no one does - Lindsey doesn't want you to go at this alone.

Even with a healthy support system, you should work with somebody who's been there and gone through an eating disorder.

Why It Matters: How do we teach our kids to ride a bike if we've never ridden a bike before? It's so important to work with a professional who understands right where you are.

How to Get Support: Visit www.herbestself.co to fill out a client application and get on the books for the new year.

You deserve to have a wonderful holiday. Focus on setting personal boundaries for yourself AND for your loved ones.

Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get:

  • Community support from women who understand
  • Weekly guidance and tools
  • Accountability for hard days
  • Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles

Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for:

  • Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges
  • Weekly support and accountability
  • Tools specific to your recovery journey
  • Personal guidance through the hardest moments

Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co

You don't have to navigate this alone. Let's walk through recovery together.

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 253: Lights Off, Shirt On? Let's Talk About Sex! 5 Reasons Eating Disorders Block Intimacy + What Exactly to Do About It21 nov. 202500:20:43

Okay girlfriend, we're going there. We're talking about the thing nobody talks about when it comes to eating disorders: sex, intimacy, and what's happening (or NOT happening) in your bedroom.

If you've noticed your sex drive has disappeared, you're avoiding intimacy with your partner, you can't be present during sex because you're too busy worrying about what your body looks like, or your relationship is suffering and you don't know why - this episode is for you.

Host Lindsey Nichol gets incredibly vulnerable about her own experience with blocked intimacy during her eating disorder - how she was physically shut down, emotionally unavailable, and performing instead of experiencing. She shares the research-backed reasons why eating disorders completely sabotage intimacy (spoiler: your body is literally in survival mode), and gives you practical tools to address it.

This isn't just about emotional connection - we're talking about SEX. Physical intimacy. The bedroom. Your relationship with your spouse or partner. Because your eating disorder isn't just stealing your relationship with food and your body. It's stealing your relationship with your partner too.

In this episode, you'll learn:

  • The 5 reasons why intimacy gets completely blocked when you have an eating disorder
  • Why your libido has disappeared (hint: hormones, energy, survival mode)
  • How body shame follows you into the bedroom
  • Why you can't experience pleasure when you're disconnected from your body
  • How to check your "intimacy temperature" and get honest about where you are
  • Exactly what to say to your partner about what's going on
  • Practical steps to start reconnecting

This is real talk. This is vulnerable. This is the conversation we need to have. So grab your favorite Tarjay journal and let's get into it.

Content Note: This episode discusses sexual intimacy and eating disorders openly. Best listened to in a private space.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

Lindsey's Vulnerable Truth

  • What intimacy looked like when she was in the thick of her eating disorder
  • Being in a relationship while physically and emotionally shut down
  • Not being present during sex - performing instead of experiencing
  • Constantly worried about what her body looked like during intimacy
  • Anxious thoughts: "Is my stomach flat enough? Can he feel certain parts? Should the lights be off? Should I keep my shirt on?"
  • The realization: She wasn't experiencing intimacy, she was performing it

The Research Nobody Talks About

  • Women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunction
  • Lower libido, avoidance of intimacy, relationship dissatisfaction are common
  • We suffer in silence, fake it, avoid it, make excuses
  • And our relationships suffer while we pretend everything is fine

The Question We're Answering Why is intimacy blocked when you struggle with an eating disorder? And what can you actually DO about it?

The 5 Reasons Why Intimacy Gets Blocked: Reason #1: Your Body is Literally Shutting Down
  • When you restrict food, your body goes into survival mode
  • Sex, reproduction, intimacy are NOT essential for survival
  • Your hormones tank: estrogen, progesterone, testosterone plummet
  • Your libido disappears completely
  • You lose your period (amenorrhea)
  • Your energy is non-existent
  • Research shows women with anorexia and bulimia have significantly disrupted hormone levels
  • All of these hormones impact sexual desire and function
  • If you have zero sex drive, if intimacy feels like a chore, if you're exhausted - your body is saying "I don't have resources for this"
  • Your body is trying to keep you alive, not reproduce
Reason #2: You're Disconnected From Your Body
  • When you spend every day hating, criticizing, punishing your body - you disconnect
  • You dissociate from physical sensations
  • The problem: You can't experience pleasure in a body you're not connected to
  • Intimacy requires being IN your body, feeling sensations, being present
  • But when you're trapped in your head analyzing what you look like - you're performing, not experiencing
  • Research: Women with eating disorders report significantly higher body image concerns during sexual activity
  • This directly correlates with lower sexual satisfaction and avoidance behaviors
  • You can't enjoy intimacy when you're worried about appearance the entire time
Reason #3: The Shame is Paralyzing
  • Body shame doesn't stay in the mirror - it follows you into the bedroom
  • When you feel disgusting in your own skin, how are you supposed to let someone see it? Touch it?
  • The shame is so heavy that many women avoid intimacy altogether
  • Making excuses, shutting down, pulling away
  • Being vulnerable and exposed when you feel shame about your body is terrifying
  • Intimacy requires vulnerability - shame blocks that completely
Reason #4: You're Emotionally Unavailable
  • When you're consumed by an eating disorder, there's no room for anything else
  • Your entire mental and emotional bandwidth is taken up by food thoughts, body checking, planning, restricting, compensating
  • You don't have capacity to show up emotionally for your partner
  • Can't connect, can't be present, can't be intimate beyond the physical act
  • Intimacy requires emotional availability
  • When your eating disorder is screaming 24/7, you're not available - you're surviving
Reason #5: Control Issues Prevent Vulnerability
  • Eating disorders are about CONTROL
  • Intimacy requires letting GO of control, being vulnerable, surrendering
  • If you can't let go of control long enough to eat without anxiety, how can you surrender during intimacy?
  • The same rigidity and need for control with food shows up in the bedroom
  • It blocks true intimacy completely
The Impact on Your Relationship:

What This Means:

  • Distance and disconnection in your relationship
  • Your partner might feel rejected, confused, helpless
  • They might think you're not attracted to them anymore
  • They might think they did something wrong
  • You feel guilty, broken, like you're failing at one more thing
  • "I can't do anything right - not food, not my body, and now not my relationship"

The Truth You Need to Hear: This is not a personal failure. This is a SYMPTOM of your eating disorder.

Just like:

  • Restriction is a symptom
  • Body checking is a symptom
  • Blocked intimacy is a symptom

The Hope: Research shows that as women recover from eating disorders, sexual function, desire, and satisfaction improve SIGNIFICANTLY. Recovery doesn't just give you food freedom - it gives you intimacy freedom too.

If your relationship is suffering, recovery is the answer. Not just for food. Not just for your body. But for your relationship too.

What You Can Do About It (6 Action Steps): Step 1: Check Your Intimacy Temperature

Get honest with yourself. On a scale of 1-10, where is your intimacy RIGHT NOW?

Not where you think it should be. Not where it used to be. Where is it TODAY?

Ask yourself:

  • Am I avoiding intimacy?
  • Am I going through the motions?
  • Am I anxious the entire time?
  • Am I emotionally checked out?
  • Is my libido non-existent?
  • Am I making excuses to avoid it?

Get real about what's actually happening. You can't change what you won't acknowledge.

Step 2: Recognize This is an ED Symptom

Stop blaming yourself. Stop thinking you're broken or wrong or failing.

This blocked intimacy is a SYMPTOM of your eating disorder.

Your body is depleted. Your hormones are disrupted. You're disconnected. You're consumed.

This isn't about:

  • Not loving your partner enough
  • Being inadequate
  • Being broken
  • Personal failure

This is about your eating disorder stealing one MORE thing from you.

Name it for what it is: An eating disorder symptom.

Step 3: Bring It Into the Light - Talk to Your Partner

This is the scariest step, but it's the most important.

You have to talk to your spouse or partner about what's going on.

When to Have This Conversation:

  • NOT in the moment
  • NOT during intimacy
  • In a calm, safe space where you can be honest

What to Say (Script): "Hey, I need to talk to you about something that's been hard for me. I've been struggling with my relationship with food and my body, and it's affecting our intimacy. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. My body is depleted, my hormones are off, and I'm having a hard time being present. I'm working on it, but I need you to know what's going on."

You Don't Need:

  • All the answers
  • A complete plan
  • To have everything figured out

You Just Need:

  • To be honest about what's happening
  • To help them understand it's not about them
  • To let them in instead of shutting them out
Step 4: Start Small With Reconnection

You don't have to fix everything overnight. Start somewhere small.

Ideas:

  • Physical touch that's NOT sexual - holding hands, cuddling, hugging
  • Reconnecting with non-sexual physical intimacy first
  • Being honest when you're not in the mood instead of forcing it or avoiding it
  • Working on being present - staying in your body during intimacy instead of in your head
  • Taking pressure off yourself and your partner

Just start. Somewhere. Anywhere.

Step 5: Work on Body Acceptance

You don't have to LOVE your body to be intimate.

But you do have to accept that your body is allowed to:

  • Exist
  • Be touched
  • Experience pleasure
  • Take up space

This is work:

  • Therapy work
  • Coaching work
  • Recovery work
  • Daily practice work

The more you work on accepting your body (not loving it, just ACCEPTING it), the more available you'll be for intimacy.

Step 6: Prioritize Your Recovery

If you want intimacy back in your relationship, you MUST prioritize recovery.

Because the eating disorder is the blocker.

What This Looks Like:

  • Get support (coach, therapist, dietitian)
  • Join a community
  • Do the work of nourishing your body
  • Work through the shame
  • Address the control issues
  • Heal the disconnection

Recovery gives you:

  • Food freedom
  • Body peace
  • Your relationship back
  • Intimacy freedom
Key Takeaways:

✨ Your ED isn't just stealing food freedom - it's stealing intimacy too

✨ Blocked intimacy is a SYMPTOM, not a personal failure

✨ Your body is in survival mode - sex is not a priority when you're starving

✨ You can't experience pleasure in a body you're disconnected from

✨ Body shame follows you into the bedroom and paralyzes intimacy

✨ You're emotionally unavailable because the ED consumes all your bandwidth

✨ Control issues with food show up as control issues with intimacy

✨ Research shows recovery improves sexual function, desire, and satisfaction

✨ You need to talk to your partner - bring it into the light

✨ Start small: reconnect with non-sexual touch first

✨ Body acceptance (not love) opens the door to intimacy

✨ Recovery gives you your relationship back

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "Let me just be really honest with you. When I was in the thick of my eating disorder, intimacy was one of the first things to go"
  • "I wasn't experiencing intimacy. I was performing it. And I was anxious the entire time"
  • "Research shows that women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunction, lower libido, avoidance of intimacy, and relationship dissatisfaction"
  • "But we don't talk about it. We suffer in silence. We fake it. We avoid it. We make excuses"
  • "When you're restricting food, your body goes into survival mode. And guess what's not essential for survival? Sex. Reproduction. Intimacy"
  • "You can't experience pleasure in a body you're not connected to"
  • "Intimacy requires you to be IN your body. But when you're trapped in your head analyzing what you look like - you're performing"
  • "Body shame doesn't stay in the mirror. It follows you into the bedroom"
  • "When you're consumed by an eating disorder, there's no room for anything else"
  • "Eating disorders are about control. And intimacy requires letting go of control"
  • "This is not a personal failure. This is a symptom of your eating disorder"
  • "Recovery doesn't just give you food freedom - it gives you intimacy freedom too"
  • "If your relationship is suffering, recovery is the answer"
  • "You can't change what you won't acknowledge"
  • "Stop blaming yourself. This blocked intimacy is a SYMPTOM"
  • "You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to be honest about what's happening"
  • "You don't have to love your body to be intimate. But you do have to accept it"
  • "Your eating disorder has stolen enough from you. Don't let it steal your intimacy too"
Research-Backed Information:

Sexual Dysfunction & Eating Disorders:

  • Women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunction
  • Lower libido is common across all ED types
  • Avoidance of intimacy and relationship dissatisfaction are prevalent

Hormone Disruption:

  • Women with anorexia and bulimia have significantly disrupted hormone levels
  • Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all tank during restriction
  • These hormones directly impact sexual desire and function
  • Amenorrhea (loss of period) is common and signals reproductive system shutdown

Body Image During Sex:

  • Women with EDs report significantly higher body image concerns during sexual activity
  • Body image concerns during sex directly correlate with lower sexual satisfaction
  • This creates avoidance behaviors and performance anxiety

Recovery Improves Everything:

  • As women recover from eating disorders, sexual function improves
  • Desire returns as hormones regulate
  • Satisfaction increases as body acceptance grows
  • Recovery restores intimacy capacity
Questions to Reflect On:

About Your Intimacy:

  • On a scale of 1-10, where is your intimacy right now?
  • Are you avoiding intimacy? How often?
  • Are you going through the motions or truly present?
  • What are you thinking about during intimacy? (Your body? His reaction? What you look like?)
  • When did intimacy start feeling like a chore instead of connection?

About Your Body:

  • Do you insist on lights off? Shirt on? Certain positions only?
  • Are you disconnected from physical sensations during sex?
  • Can you feel pleasure or are you too in your head?
  • What body parts are you most self-conscious about during intimacy?

About Your Partner:

  • Have you talked to them about what's going on?
  • Do they know you're struggling with an eating disorder?
  • Do they understand why intimacy has changed?
  • Are you making excuses or being honest?

About Your Recovery:

  • Is blocked intimacy motivation for you to prioritize recovery?
  • What would it mean to get intimacy back in your relationship?
  • Are you willing to do the work to heal this area too?
  • What's one small step you can take today?
Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is essential listening if you:

  • Have noticed your sex drive has completely disappeared
  • Avoid intimacy with your partner or spouse
  • Go through the motions but aren't present during sex
  • Can't stop thinking about what your body looks like during intimacy
  • Insist on lights off, shirt on, or specific positions to hide your body
  • Feel anxious or panicked about being intimate
  • Make excuses to avoid sex
  • Feel guilty about avoiding your partner
  • Feel broken or like you're failing at your relationship
  • Have a partner who feels rejected or confused
  • Want to understand WHY this is happening
  • Need practical tools to start reconnecting
  • Are married or in a long-term relationship
  • Are ready to bring this into the light and talk about it
  • Want your relationship back
  • Need to know recovery can restore intimacy
The Conversation Starter (What to Say):

The Script: "Hey, I need to talk to you about something that's been hard for me. I've been struggling with my relationship with food and my body, and it's affecting our intimacy. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. My body is depleted, my hormones are off, and I'm having a hard time being present. I'm working on it, but I need you to know what's going on."

Why This Works:

  • Acknowledges there's a problem
  • Takes responsibility without self-blame
  • Reassures your partner it's not about them
  • Explains the physical reality (hormones, depletion)
  • Shows you're working on it
  • Opens the door for support

What Happens Next:

  • They might have questions
  • They might be relieved you're talking about it
  • They might not fully understand (and that's okay)
  • The important thing is you brought it into the light
Important Truths About Intimacy & EDs:

Your Libido Disappearing is NOT Your Fault: It's biology. Your body is in survival mode. Sex is not essential for survival. Your hormones are disrupted. This is a symptom.

You're Not Broken: Your body is responding exactly as it should to starvation and restriction. This is protective, not defective.

Your Partner Isn't the Problem: Even if you're attracted to them, your body can't prioritize sexual function right now. This isn't about attraction.

Shame is the Enemy: The shame you feel about your body during intimacy is what's blocking connection. The body itself isn't the problem - the shame is.

Recovery Restores Everything: This isn't permanent. As you nourish your body, your hormones will regulate. Your libido will return. Your ability to be present will come back. Intimacy can be restored.

You Deserve Intimacy: Even with an eating disorder, you deserve connection, pleasure, and intimacy. But you have to do the recovery work to get there.

Ready for Support?

Work with Lindsey One-on-One: If you're ready to prioritize your recovery - not just for food freedom, but for your relationship too - Lindsey offers personalized recovery coaching where you work through:

  • The food piece
  • The body image piece
  • The relationship piece
  • The intimacy piece
  • ALL of it

Your relationship deserves you showing up fully. Your partner deserves you being present. YOU deserve to experience intimacy without shame, anxiety, or the ED blocking it.

Recovery gives you that. And Lindsey is here to help you get there.

Ready for Support?

Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get:

  • Community support from women who understand
  • Weekly guidance and tools
  • Accountability for hard days
  • Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles

Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for:

  • Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges
  • Weekly support and accountability
  • Tools specific to your recovery journey
  • Personal guidance through the hardest moments

Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co

You don't have to navigate this alone. Let's walk through recovery together.

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth!

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 252.5: You Are Not Your Eating Disorder ~ Finding Your Worth & True Identity in Recovery **Must Listen Fav!**18 nov. 202500:18:33

Girlfriend, if you're struggling with self-worth, feeling like you'll never measure up, or can't separate yourself from your eating disorder - this episode is for you.

Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable and inspiring episode about finding worth from within and discovering your true identity beyond the eating disorder. After a powerful moment during yoga listening to Lauren Daigle's "You Say," Lindsey was reminded of a truth that changed everything: You are not your eating disorder. Your true, authentic self lives underneath all of that.

In this encouraging episode, Lindsey walks you through:

  • Why eating disorders consume our identity over time
  • How to separate yourself from the disorder
  • The trap of measuring your worth by external things (weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions)
  • A beautiful self-compassion exercise you can do right now when you feel unworthy
  • How to cultivate self-acceptance and kindness toward yourself
  • The difference between your false identity (the ED) and your true identity (who you really are)

This isn't just inspiration - this is an invitation to remember who you are beyond the eating disorder. To find worth from within. To practice self-compassion on the hard days. And to stop settling for a false version of yourself.

If you're having a down day or need encouragement, grab your favorite Tarjay journal and let's sit together. You are worthy just because you are.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

The Yoga Moment: Lauren Daigle's "You Say"

  • How Lindsey was practicing yoga with Christian music
  • When Lauren Daigle's song "You Say" came on and brought all the feels
  • The powerful lyrics about fighting voices that say "I'm not enough"
  • How the song speaks about finding worth and identity
  • The theme of surrender: laying failures and victories at God's feet
  • Why Lindsey encourages everyone (Christian or not) to listen to this song

The Worth Trap: Measuring Yourself by External Things

  • How people struggling with eating disorders tie worth to external factors
  • The trap: worth measured by weight, appearance, achievements, what others think
  • Why this gives temporary relief but not lasting joy
  • How it leaves you feeling you'll never measure up or be enough
  • The cycle of seeking external validation that never satisfies

Identity Consumed: You Are Not Your Eating Disorder

  • The truth: Eating disorders consume our identity over time
  • In order to truly heal, we must separate ourselves from the disorder
  • Your true, authentic, best self is NOT the voice on repeat in your mind
  • That voice saying you're not enough, you'll never measure up, you're weak - that's the ED, not you
  • Your real self, your warrior self, your champion self lives underneath
  • The false identity vs. the true identity

Finding Worth From Within (And Above)

  • Your identity must be rooted in who you are at your core
  • Your journey to internal worth is filtered by false identity right now
  • Your true, authentic identity lives underneath all of that
  • You're worthy just because you ARE - you cannot earn it
  • For those with faith: trusting that God has you right where you are
  • For everyone: your worth is inherent, not earned

Creating Awareness: The Identity Shift

  • How to become aware that you are not your eating disorder
  • Observing the difference between your thoughts and the ED's thoughts
  • Getting in community with people who support and build you up
  • Listening to music that reminds you of truth
  • Investing in yourself and seeking support (coaching, therapy, community)
  • The importance of separating yourself from the disorder voice

The Self-Compassion Research

  • Kristin Neff: world-leading expert on self-compassion
  • Research on self-compassion's impact on positive mental health
  • What self-compassion means: treating yourself with love and understanding
  • Even when life is full of pain and failure, choosing kind words over criticism
  • Choosing to stop judging yourself and start honoring yourself
  • Leaning into believing there is more for you

Mindful Awareness Practice

  • Eating disorders are framed around exaggerated, negative beliefs
  • The ability to observe negative thoughts with clarity and openness
  • Learning that feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're just feelings and thoughts
  • It's okay to not feel enough in this moment - that doesn't mean you aren't enough
  • This moment doesn't define your forever
  • The land of "not knowing what to do next" is temporary

The Self-Compassion Exercise: Hand Over Heart

  • A guided practice you can do right now (or come back to)
  • Think of your biggest challenge - the thing you're most terrified of
  • Place your hand over your heart
  • Feel the warmth, the touch, the beat
  • Acknowledge: You're human. You're here. You have purpose. You're worthy just because
  • Let the heaviness of the challenge be there - don't fight it
  • Breathe in, breathe out the heaviness
  • Talk to yourself with compassion: "This is just a season"
  • Validate the hard: "This moment is so hard. This day is so much. I'm scared"
  • Let the feeling sit, then breathe it out - it's temporary
  • Offer kindness as you would to your best friend or daughter
  • "I can do hard things. I can embrace the journey. Maybe this is exactly where I need to be"

The Truth About Your Worth

  • You're not designed for everyone to like you
  • You're not designed for everyone to find you worthy
  • You're not designed to pull up a chair to everybody's table
  • There is a radical need for YOUR uniqueness in this world
  • When external factors weigh on you, it's a trap giving temporary relief
  • Stop signing up for it. Stop settling for this version of life
  • This isn't your authentic self. You're designed for more
  • Healing means choosing YOU daily

What You're Worth

  • You're worth finding what makes you tick
  • You're worth finding what foods you enjoy again
  • You're worth stepping into the unknown with grace
  • You're worth knowing, loving, and living
  • Don't spend one more day believing you're unworthy
  • ALL of you is worth it
Key Takeaways:

✨ You are not your eating disorder - your true self lives underneath the disorder

✨ Eating disorders consume identity over time - healing requires separating yourself from the disorder

✨ Worth measured by external things is a trap - weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions don't define you

✨ You're worthy just because you ARE - you cannot earn worth, it's inherent

✨ The voice on repeat is not YOU - that critical voice is the eating disorder, not your true self

✨ Self-compassion is research-backed - Kristin Neff's work shows its impact on mental health

✨ Feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're temporary, not facts

✨ It's okay to not feel enough right now - this moment doesn't mean you aren't enough

✨ Your true identity lives underneath - beyond the false identity of the eating disorder

✨ Healing means choosing you daily - and that's okay, that's the work

✨ You're designed for more - there's a radical need for your uniqueness in this world

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:

From Lauren Daigle's "You Say":

  • "I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough"
  • "Every single lie that tells me that I will never measure up"
  • "You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing"
  • "You say I am strong when I think I am weak"
  • "You say I am held when I am falling short"
  • "In you I find my worth, in you I find my identity"

From Lindsey:

  • "Eating disorders consume our identity, and in order to truly heal from them, we have to separate ourselves from the disorder"
  • "You are so trapped in the eating disorder that your worth is tied to your weight, your appearance, what other people think about you, your achievements"
  • "This trap gives you temporary relief and temporary control, but it's not lasting joy"
  • "Your identity has to become so rooted in who you actually are at your core"
  • "Your true, authentic identity lives underneath all of that"
  • "You're worthy just because you are. You cannot earn it"
  • "You are not the eating disorder. You observe"
  • "The voice on repeat in your mind saying you're not enough - that's not your true self"
  • "This is just a season. This is how I want you to talk to you"
  • "This moment is so hard. This day is so much. I'm scared to death. Let that feeling sit there, then breathe it out"
  • "It is just a temporary emotion"
  • "When you challenge and change what's inside of you, everything changes around you"
  • "You are not designed for everyone to like you. You are not designed for everyone to find you worthy"
  • "There is a radical need for your uniqueness in this world"
  • "This is just a trap that is giving you temporary relief. Stop signing up for it"
  • "This isn't your authentic self. You're designed for more"
  • "Healing just means that you're choosing you, and yes you're gonna have to do that on the daily"
  • "You are worth finding. You're worth loving. You're worth living"
  • "Your true and authentic self lies underneath it. We're gonna go on a quest to find out more about her"
The Self-Compassion Exercise (Step-by-Step):

Step 1: Identify Your Biggest Challenge Think about your biggest challenge right now - the one thing you're most terrified of. Maybe it's weight gain, taking the next step, letting go of control, being honest, or something else. Name it.

Step 2: Place Your Hand Over Your Heart If you're able (not driving or operating machinery), place your hand over your heart. Feel:

  • The warmth of your hand
  • The touch against your chest
  • The beat - the thump of your heart
  • Your humanness. You're here. You're alive.

Step 3: Acknowledge Your Worth Say to yourself:

  • "I'm human"
  • "I'm here"
  • "I have purpose"
  • "I'm worthy just because"

Step 4: Let the Heaviness Be Acknowledge that the challenge feels super heavy. That's not wrong. That's not bad. It just IS. Allow it to be there. Allow the feeling of heaviness. Let it wash over you.

Step 5: Breathe Breathe in deeply. Then breathe out the heaviness. This is just a season.

Step 6: Talk to Yourself with Compassion Say these words to yourself:

  • "This is just a season when I'm feeling not enough"
  • "This is just a season when I'm feeling stuck"
  • "This moment is so hard. This day is so much"
  • "I'm scared to death" (name the specific fear)
  • "I feel miserable and alone"

Let that feeling sit there. Don't push it away.

Step 7: Breathe It Out Breathe in. Exhale it out. It is just a temporary emotion. This moment is not permanent.

Step 8: Practice Self-Compassion Tell yourself:

  • "This is okay. This is just a season"
  • "This is teaching me about my worth"
  • "This is an experience, an experiment, an observation"
  • "I am learning through this process"
  • "So many people struggle with this - I'm not alone"
  • "I'm human"

Step 9: Offer Kindness As though you're speaking to your best friend or your daughter:

  • "I can do hard things"
  • "I can learn to embrace the journey"
  • "I can lean into fear"
  • "Maybe this is exactly where I need to be right now"

Step 10: Remember the Truth When you challenge and change what's inside of you, everything changes around you.

The Kristin Neff Self-Compassion Research:

Who is Kristin Neff? Recognized worldwide as a leading expert on self-compassion and its impact on positive mental health and psychology.

What is Self-Compassion?

  • Treating yourself with love and understanding
  • Even in circumstances full of pain and failure
  • Choosing careful words over criticisms
  • Choosing to stop judging yourself
  • Leaning into honoring, nourishing, believing there is more for you

Why It Matters in Recovery:

  • Ties into mindful thoughts and awareness
  • Helps you observe negative thoughts and emotions with clarity and openness
  • Teaches you that feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're just feelings and thoughts
  • Helps separate the eating disorder thoughts from your true thoughts

The Connection: Eating disorders are framed around exaggerated, glamorized negative beliefs. Self-compassion creates the space to observe these beliefs without identifying with them.

Questions to Reflect On:

About Your Identity:

  • Can you separate yourself from your eating disorder?
  • What does your "true self" look like underneath the disorder?
  • When did the eating disorder start consuming your identity?
  • Who are you beyond the eating disorder voice?

About Your Worth:

  • What external things are you using to measure your worth? (weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions)
  • Have these ever given you lasting satisfaction?
  • Can you accept that you're worthy just because you ARE?
  • What would change if you believed you couldn't earn or lose your worth?

About Self-Compassion:

  • How do you talk to yourself when things are hard?
  • Would you talk to your best friend or daughter the way you talk to yourself?
  • Can you offer yourself kindness even when life doesn't make sense?
  • What would it feel like to treat yourself with love and understanding?

About Your Uniqueness:

  • What makes you uniquely YOU?
  • What did you enjoy before the eating disorder consumed your identity?
  • When's the last time you laughed or did something purely for joy?
  • When's the last time you did something because you enjoyed it, not out of fear or obligation?

The Big Questions:

  • What is your biggest challenge right now?
  • What are you most terrified of?
  • What's one thing you can do today to choose yourself?
Ready for Support?

Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get:

  • Community support from women who understand
  • Weekly guidance and tools
  • Accountability for hard days
  • Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles

Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for:

  • Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges
  • Weekly support and accountability
  • Tools specific to your recovery journey
  • Personal guidance through the hardest moments

Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co

You don't have to navigate stomach hate alone. Let's walk through this together.

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 252: "I Hate My Stomach, Now What?" Real Talk + 7 Tools for Your Food Freedom Journey🩷14 nov. 202500:16:32

"Lindsey, I hate my stomach. I can't stop thinking about it. It's ruining my day, my mood, my recovery. What do I do?"

If your stomach is your biggest trigger in recovery - if you can't stop looking at it, obsessing over whether it looks bigger, spiraling every time you see your reflection - this episode is for you, girlfriend.

Host Lindsey Nichol gets real about stomach hate in recovery and shares something her client needed to hear today: "I may not love my stomach every day, but if I'm being honest? I didn't love my stomach every day when I was in the trenches of my eating disorder either."

So here's the question: Which hard do you want?

Hard #1: Hating your stomach while you're restricting, obsessing, body checking, over-exercising, and missing your life.

Hard #2: Sometimes not loving your stomach, but being FREE. Living your life. Eating with family. Being present. Having energy.

Both are hard. But only one leads to freedom.

In this episode, Lindsey shares her own stomach struggles - how she used to search for evidence it was "blowing up," how it would send her into spirals of restriction and over-exercise, and what she does NOW on the days when she doesn't love her stomach. Plus, she gives you 7 practical tools you can use on your hardest days.

This is real talk with practical help. No toxic positivity. No "just love yourself." Just honest truth and actionable tools for when your stomach triggers you.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

Lindsey's Stomach Story: The Disorder Days

  • How she was super conscious of her stomach feeling or looking bigger
  • Searching for evidence it was "blowing up" - every mirror, reflection, window
  • The spirals: restriction, over-exercise, mood switches
  • Feeling out of control and reacting - being short or avoidant with loved ones
  • How stomach hate controlled her entire day, every day

The Truth Bomb: Choose Your Hard

  • Hard #1: Hating your stomach while trapped in the eating disorder
  • Hard #2: Sometimes not loving your stomach but being FREE
  • The reality: Even at her lowest weight, Lindsey STILL didn't love her stomach
  • The question: What other options do you have?
  • Why you have to choose which hard you want to live with

Why the Stomach Specifically?

  • Why the stomach is such an easy target for self-criticism
  • How society and social media have trained us to hate our stomachs
  • Why the stomach becomes the "safe" target instead of dealing with real feelings
  • The truth: Restriction makes stomach issues WORSE (digestion, bloating)
  • Reality check: Stomachs are SUPPOSED to change throughout the day
  • Aren't stomachs supposed to be FULL? That's their job

What Lindsey Does NOW on Hard Days

  • Wears baggy clothes, not restrictive clothing
  • Avoids opportunities to stare in the mirror and body check
  • Reminds herself of the truth: stomachs are allowed to change
  • Thinks about her little girl self who never cared about her stomach
  • Remembers being pregnant and LOVING watching her stomach grow
  • Accepts that not loving her stomach doesn't mean she's failed

The Shift That Changed Everything

  • The realization: She was NEVER going to like her stomach at any size or weight
  • Her stomach wasn't the problem - it was a tool for self-sabotage
  • Used stomach hate when feeling out of control or "not enough"
  • The only way through was acceptance and perspective shift
  • Understanding that stomach hate is usually about something else entirely

7 Tools for Your Hardest Days

  1. Stop the Body Checking - Walk away from mirrors, put on baggy clothes
  2. Ask the Real Question - What am I really feeling? What am I avoiding?
  3. Function Over Form - Your stomach digests food, that's its job
  4. Remember Your Little Girl Self - You didn't care about your stomach as a kid
  5. Choose Your Hard - Trapped and hating it OR free and sometimes not loving it
  6. Wear Comfortable Clothes - Stop punishing yourself with restrictive clothing
  7. Talk Back to the Voice - "My stomach is allowed to change and that's okay"
Key Takeaways:

✨ You didn't love your stomach in the disorder either - so what are you really choosing?

✨ There are two hards: choose yours - trapped with stomach hate OR free with occasional stomach discomfort

✨ Your stomach is not the problem - it's a symptom, a distraction from real feelings

✨ Restriction makes stomach issues WORSE - bloating, digestion problems increase with restriction

✨ Stomachs are supposed to change - throughout the day, after meals, when sitting vs standing

✨ The stomach is an easy target - easier to hate your stomach than deal with underlying fears

✨ You'll never be satisfied at any size - if stomach hate is really about control and self-sabotage

✨ Body checking makes it worse - the more you look, the more you spiral

✨ Function over form - your stomach's job is to digest food, not be flat 24/7

✨ Little girl you didn't care - the goal isn't loving your stomach, it's living without it controlling you

✨ You don't have to love it to live - freedom doesn't require stomach love, just stomach acceptance

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "I may not love my stomach every day, but if I'm being honest? I didn't love my stomach every day when I was in the trenches of my eating disorder either"
  • "Your stomach is a huge pain point in recovery. I get it. I've been there. It's real, it's valid, and it's one of the hardest parts"
  • "I would search - like literally SEARCH - for evidence that it was blowing up"
  • "My mood would switch on a dime. I'd feel totally out of control"
  • "Your stomach doesn't have to control you. It doesn't have to dictate your mood, your choices, or your day"
  • "Both are hard. But which hard do you want?"
  • "Even at my lowest weight, I STILL didn't love my stomach. Even then. Even at my sickest"
  • "So what other options do you have? Stay in the disorder and hate your stomach, or recover and sometimes not love it but have your LIFE back"
  • "The stomach is easy for us to tear ourselves apart over"
  • "Restriction makes stomach issues WORSE. When you're not eating enough, your digestion slows down. You get more bloated"
  • "Aren't stomachs supposed to be full? That's their job. To hold food. To digest. To nourish you"
  • "I was never going to like my stomach. No matter my size. No matter my weight"
  • "Hating my stomach wasn't actually about my stomach. It was just a part of me that I used to self-sabotage when I felt out of control or not enough"
  • "When you hate your stomach, ask yourself: What am I really afraid of right now?"
  • "99% of the time, it's not actually your stomach"
  • "You don't have to love your stomach to live your life. You don't have to love your stomach to recover"
  • "Your stomach is not the enemy. Your stomach is just a stomach. It's allowed to exist. It's allowed to change. It's allowed to be full"
  • "Choose your hard, girlfriend. Choose freedom"
The 7 Tools Explained: Tool #1: Stop the Body Checking

When you feel the urge to look in the mirror, pull your shirt tight, or analyze your stomach - STOP. Literally stop. Walk away. Do something else. Put on baggy clothes. The more you body check, the worse the obsession gets.

Tool #2: Ask the Real Question

Stop asking "Why does my stomach look like this?" and start asking "What am I really feeling right now? What am I avoiding?" Get to the root. Your stomach is almost never the actual problem.

Common real feelings underneath stomach hate:

  • Feeling out of control in some area of life
  • Fear about something coming up
  • Feeling "not enough" in comparison to others
  • Anxiety about a situation
  • Avoiding deeper emotional work
Tool #3: Function Over Form

Remind yourself: Your stomach digests food. It nourishes you. It expands when you eat because that's its JOB. It's not supposed to be flat 24/7. That's not realistic, healthy, or even possible.

Tool #4: Remember Your Little Girl Self

You didn't care about your stomach as a kid. You just lived. You played. You ate. You didn't analyze your body. THAT is the goal - not loving your stomach every day, just LIVING without it controlling you.

Also remember: When you were pregnant (if applicable), you LOVED watching your stomach grow. You celebrated what your body could do. Why do you hate it now?

Tool #5: Choose Your Hard

On the hard days, say this out loud: "I can hate my stomach and be trapped in restriction, obsession, and isolation - OR I can sometimes not love my stomach but be FREE to live my life. Which hard do I want?"

Tool #6: Wear Comfortable Clothes

Stop punishing yourself with restrictive clothing. Stop wearing things that make you hyper-aware of your stomach all day. Wear what feels good. Your comfort matters more than how your stomach looks. Baggy clothes aren't "giving up" - they're choosing peace.

Tool #7: Talk Back to the Voice

When that critical voice says "Your stomach is too big," you talk back with truth:

  • "My stomach is allowed to change"
  • "My stomach is doing its job"
  • "My stomach does not define my worth"
  • "I didn't love my stomach at my lowest weight either, so this isn't about size"
  • "Stomachs are supposed to be full"
Questions to Reflect On:

About Your Stomach Hate:

  • When did you first start hating your stomach?
  • What do you do when you hate your stomach? (body check, restrict, over-exercise, avoid people?)
  • Does hating your stomach actually solve anything?
  • Did you love your stomach at your lowest weight? (Be honest)

About the Real Feelings:

  • What are you REALLY feeling when you hate your stomach?
  • What are you avoiding by focusing on your stomach?
  • When does stomach hate show up most? (after meals, stressful situations, comparison moments?)
  • What would happen if you couldn't focus on your stomach anymore - what would you have to deal with?

About Your Choices:

  • Which hard do you want: trapped and hating it OR free and sometimes not loving it?
  • What is stomach hate costing you? (relationships, experiences, peace, presence?)
  • What would change if your stomach wasn't your focus anymore?
  • Are you ready to stop letting your stomach control your life?

About Your Little Girl Self:

  • When was the last time you thought about your body the way you did as a little girl?
  • What would little-girl-you think about how much time you spend hating your stomach?
  • What did you do with your time before stomach hate consumed you?
Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is essential listening if you:

  • Hate your stomach and it's ruining your recovery
  • Can't stop body checking your stomach throughout the day
  • Search for "evidence" your stomach is getting bigger
  • Spiral into restriction or over-exercise when you hate your stomach
  • Let your stomach dictate your mood, choices, and entire day
  • Feel triggered by your stomach after every meal
  • Compare your stomach to everyone else's
  • Thought you'd love your stomach in recovery but you don't
  • Feel like your stomach is the one body part you can't accept
  • Need real talk and practical tools, not toxic positivity
  • Are stuck between hating your stomach in the disorder vs. sometimes not loving it in freedom
  • Need permission to not love your stomach but live your life anyway
Important Truths About Stomachs in Recovery:

Stomachs Change Throughout the Day:

  • Flatter in the morning
  • Fuller after meals
  • Different when sitting vs. standing
  • Bloated sometimes (especially in recovery)
  • This is NORMAL and HEALTHY

Restriction Makes It Worse:

  • Slows digestion
  • Increases bloating
  • Creates more discomfort
  • Makes you MORE obsessed with your stomach

Stomach Hate Is Usually About Something Else:

  • Control issues
  • Fear and anxiety
  • Feeling "not enough"
  • Comparison to others
  • Avoiding deeper feelings

You Didn't Love It at Your Lowest Weight Either:

  • If you still hated your stomach at your sickest, size isn't the issue
  • Stomach hate is a symptom, not the problem
  • No amount of restriction will make you love it

Function Over Form:

  • Your stomach's job is to digest food
  • It's supposed to expand after eating
  • It's supposed to be FULL
  • Flat stomachs 24/7 are not realistic or healthy
What Lindsey Does Now (Practical Examples):

Morning Routine:

  • Puts on comfortable, baggy clothes first thing
  • Avoids standing in front of mirror analyzing
  • Brushes teeth, does hair, moves on
  • Doesn't give herself opportunity to spiral

After Meals:

  • Expects stomach to be fuller - that's its job
  • Reminds herself: "Stomachs are supposed to be full"
  • Doesn't body check or analyze
  • Focuses on how she FEELS, not how she LOOKS

On Triggering Days:

  • Acknowledges: "I don't love my stomach today and that's okay"
  • Asks: "What am I really feeling? What's really bothering me?"
  • Remembers: "I didn't love it in the disorder either - choose your hard"
  • Takes action on the real feeling instead of obsessing about stomach

Clothing Choices:

  • Wears what feels comfortable, not what's restrictive
  • Doesn't punish herself with tight clothes
  • Chooses outfits that let her focus on living, not analyzing
The "Choose Your Hard" Framework:

Hard Option #1: Hating Your Stomach While Trapped

  • Constant body checking
  • Restriction and over-exercise
  • Mood swings and irritability
  • Avoiding loved ones
  • Missing life experiences
  • Obsessive thoughts
  • Still hating your stomach anyway

Hard Option #2: Sometimes Not Loving It But Being Free

  • Eating meals with family
  • Having energy for life
  • Being present in moments
  • Not spending hours body checking
  • Living without constant obsession
  • Having relationships
  • Experiencing joy
  • Still sometimes not loving your stomach

The Question: Which hard do you want?

The Truth: You're going to have hard days with your stomach either way. At least in recovery, you get your LIFE back.

Ready for Support?

Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get:

  • Community support from women who understand
  • Weekly guidance and tools
  • Accountability for hard days
  • Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles

Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for:

  • Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges
  • Weekly support and accountability
  • Tools specific to your recovery journey
  • Personal guidance through the hardest moments

Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co

You don't have to navigate stomach hate alone. Let's walk through this together.

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 251.5: Turn Your ED Worries into Freedom ~ The 3-Step Battleplan to Stop Wishing & Start Living11 nov. 202500:13:51

Hey sis, here is hope. You can turn your worries and your wishes into your true realities, and you can surely find freedom from the debilitating disease of an eating disorder and disordered eating.

In this powerful episode, host Lindsey Nichol speaks truth directly to your heart, spirit, and mind. If you're stuck in the same place year after year - same worries, same wishes, same Thanksgiving anxiety, same holiday struggles - this is your wake-up call.

Lindsey reveals why your worries and anxieties can actually HELP you move forward (or keep you stuck in the safe zone), and why your wishes and dreams must become greater than your fears. She introduces her 3-step battle plan for turning wishes into reality: align with your biggest challenge, align with your greatest dream, and study your enemy - that nagging voice keeping you in the cycle.

This isn't just another motivational episode. This is a strategic battle plan for warriors ready to stop wishing and start living. Because girlfriend, warriors don't go into battle without a shield, a sword, or a plan. And you're not meant to go alone.

If you've been waiting for the "magic pill" to create peace in your life, this episode will show you that YOU have the power to transform everything - starting right now.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Why Worries Can Help You (Or Keep You Stuck)

  • Your worries and anxieties can nudge you toward the future you're dreaming of
  • They can propel you forward on your journey to freedom
  • But they can also keep you stuck in the safe zone if you do nothing about them
  • The difference between productive worry and paralyzing worry

Why Wishes Aren't Enough

  • Wishes and dreams are great, but they can keep you stuck too
  • Without action, wishes remain fantasies year after year
  • Life is hard, especially with an eating disorder - but wishes alone won't change that
  • Your wishes must become greater than your worries to create real change

The Biggest Challenges Women Face in Recovery When Lindsey asks her one-on-one clients "What is your biggest challenge?" she hears:

  • Fear of weight gain
  • Recovery feels totally impossible
  • "I want to eat the way I should, yet I don't"
  • Anxiety around food
  • Over-exercising and calorie counting
  • Worrying about how others see me
  • Struggling to give up control
  • Rigid routines and bad habits that are hard to break
  • Eating differently than family
  • Decades of disordered relationship with food and body
  • Always relapsing when life happens

The Greatest Wishes Women Have When Lindsey asks "What is your greatest wish?" she hears:

  • I want to live life FREE
  • I want to be healthier and better
  • I want to eat "normal" (whatever that is)
  • I want to nourish my body
  • I want to be happy and healthy
  • I want to stop thinking about food constantly
  • I want to eat without fear of weight gain
  • I want to go out to eat and enjoy it without looking at the menu beforehand
  • I want flexibility
  • I want to be present
  • I want to LIVE

The Bridge: Freedom IS Your Reality

  • Freedom is possible no matter how you feel right now
  • Feelings aren't forever - they change
  • If you feel stuck year after year, same holidays, same struggles - it's time to stop the madness
  • You have to stop the nagging voice keeping you in the cycle

The Hard Truth You Need to Hear

  • YOU have the power to transform your life completely - you, no one else
  • If you had the "magic pill of power" to create peace, would you take it?
  • You have to stop loving the drama of the cycle
  • Your wishes must become GREATER than your worries
  • This only happens when you come PREPARED FOR THE BATTLE
  • Warriors don't go into battle without a shield, sword, or team
  • You need a PLAN and you need to EXECUTE
The 3-Step Battle Plan to Turn Wishes Into Reality: Step 1: Get in Alignment with Your Biggest Challenge
  • In order to defeat the enemy, you need a strategy
  • What is your biggest worry? Your biggest challenge?
  • You have to identify it clearly to fight it effectively
  • Be specific - name the fear, the behavior, the thought pattern
Step 2: Get in Alignment with Your Greatest Dream
  • What is your biggest wish? Your greatest desire?
  • Close your eyes - where do you see yourself in 1 year? 5 years?
  • Your dream is achievable if you can imagine it
  • This becomes your "why" - what you're fighting FOR
Step 3: Study Your Opponent (Your Enemy)
  • How can you fight what you can't see?
  • How can you put in your all when you can't define it?
  • How can you go to battle if you don't know what you're up against?
  • What is your reward when you conquer?

Study the enemy like no other:

  • What does that voice inside your head say to you?
  • She's constantly bargaining, right?
  • "You don't need that" / "You can eat later" / "It's too early for a meal"
  • What is she trying to manipulate you with?
  • When you can SEPARATE your thoughts from HER thoughts, you can build your plan of attack
Key Takeaways:

✨ Worries can work FOR you or AGAINST you - they can propel you forward or keep you stuck

✨ Wishes without action keep you in the same place - year after year, holiday after holiday

✨ Feelings aren't forever - no matter how stuck you feel right now, it can change

✨ You have to stop loving the drama of the cycle - the cycle only continues if you participate

✨ Your wishes must become GREATER than your worries - this is the tipping point

✨ Warriors don't go into battle unprepared - you need a shield, sword, helmet, and plan

✨ You're not meant to do this alone - going solo into battle is a losing strategy

✨ YOU have the power to transform your life - no one else can do this for you

✨ Freedom is already yours - it's been granted to you, you just have to claim it

✨ Commit to ONE action today - your future self will thank you

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "You can turn your worries and your wishes into your true realities"
  • "Your worries can help you move forward or keep you stuck in the safe zone"
  • "Wishes can keep you stuck if you do nothing about them"
  • "If you feel like year after year you're stuck - Thanksgiving after Thanksgiving, Christmas after Christmas - you have to stop the madness"
  • "Feelings aren't forever, friend. Feelings aren't forever"
  • "You have power to completely transform your life. You. No one else"
  • "If I gave you the magic pill of power to create peace in your life, would you do whatever it took?"
  • "You have to stop loving the drama of the cycle"
  • "Your wishes and dreams have to become GREATER than your worries and anxiety"
  • "You will only find freedom if you become prepared for the battle"
  • "Warriors don't go into battle without a shield. Would you go into battle without a sword? How about going into battle alone?"
  • "Why are you going to battle without a plan or without others fighting with you?"
  • "How can you fight what you can't see? How can you put your all when you can't define it?"
  • "When you can separate your thoughts from HER thoughts, then you can build your plan of attack"
  • "You are a mighty warrior. There is no doubt you're strong"
  • "What are you waiting for? Freedom is yours. It's already been granted to you"
  • "Feelings aren't forever. You are a warrior"
  • "It's time to stop going to battle without a helmet and a sword, and it's time to stop going as if you're going at it alone"
Scripture: You Are a Mighty Warrior

Zechariah 10:5-12 (paraphrased):

You shall be mighty in battle, trampling the foe in the mud of the streets. You shall fight because God is with you and you will put to shame the riders on horses. He will strengthen you. He will save you. He will bring you back because he has compassion for you.

And you will be enough. You won't be rejected. For he is God and he will deliver you. You shall become a mighty warrior and your heart will be glad and your children will see it and rejoice.

God will whistle for you and gather you in because he is redeeming you and you shall be as you were before. He will bring you home from the desert land and gather you. He will pass through the sea of troubles with you and strike down the waves, and all the depths will dry up.

The enemy shall depart. He will make you strong and you shall walk in his name.

Questions to Reflect On:

About Your Challenges:

  • What is your BIGGEST challenge right now in recovery?
  • What worry keeps you up at night?
  • What anxiety feels heaviest on your shoulders?
  • Be specific - name it, define it, see it clearly

About Your Dreams:

  • What is your greatest wish for your life?
  • What is your deepest desire?
  • Why are you here? What do you truly want?
  • If you close your eyes and see yourself in 1 year or 5 years free from this - what does that look like?

About Your Enemy:

  • What does that nagging voice say to you?
  • What lies is she constantly telling you?
  • What manipulations does she use to keep you stuck?
  • How does she bargain with you throughout the day?
  • Can you separate YOUR thoughts from HER thoughts?

About Your Battle Plan:

  • Do you have a strategy, or are you winging it?
  • Are you going into battle with a shield, sword, and helmet?
  • Are you trying to do this alone?
  • What is ONE action you can take today that your future self will thank you for?

The Big Question:

  • What are you waiting for?
Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 251: I Lied to My Treatment Team ~ Why A Relapse or Fall Doesn't Equal Failure + How to Get Back Up in Recovery07 nov. 202500:17:13

Girlfriend, if you've fallen in your recovery - if you've had a setback, slipped back into old behaviors, or feel like you're not where you "should" be - this episode is for you.

This morning, Lindsey was walking her 7-year-old son Blake to school when he fell hard while skipping in Crocs. Through his tears, he looked up and said, "I guess I shouldn't skip so fast to school." And in that moment, Lindsey realized something profound: Sometimes the fall is required. Not because we want to hurt, but because without the fall, we wouldn't learn any other way.

In this vulnerable episode, Lindsey shares her own painful fall in recovery - when she was lying to her treatment team, telling everyone she was "doing the things" while secretly still restricting out of fear. Her results weren't matching her actions, and she felt defeated. But that fall? It became her turning point.

Drawing from her figure skating background (landing her first double loop took countless falls), Lindsey reveals why falls aren't failures - they're required education. She addresses the shame that comes with relapsing, gives you permission to be right where you are, and shows you how to get back up without beating yourself up.

If you've been too afraid to risk falling or too ashamed to get back up, this episode will change everything.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

Blake's Fall: The Morning Walk to School

  • How her 7-year-old fell hard while skipping in Crocs
  • The mama moment of dusting him off and helping him up
  • His profound realization: "I guess I shouldn't skip so fast"
  • Why she knew he needed that fall to learn
  • The parallel to recovery that changed her perspective

Lindsey's Recovery Fall: The Painful Truth

  • When she was lying to her treatment team about doing "the things"
  • The internal defeat of results not matching actions
  • One side wanting weight gain, the other side feeling betrayed and terrified
  • Beating herself up for not being "further along"
  • The turning point: getting real and honest with herself
  • Why that fall propelled her forward more than smooth sailing ever could

The Figure Skating Metaphor: Landing the Double Loop

  • Falling over and over trying to land her first double loop jump
  • How each fall taught her something new (angle, timing, fear, adjustment)
  • Why it became her favorite jump BECAUSE of the falls, not in spite of them
  • The parallel: recovery is learning a jump you've never done before

The Shame of Falling in Recovery

  • Why Blake was embarrassed when he fell (other kids watching, teacher saw)
  • The truth: shame isn't about the fall, it's what you make it mean about you
  • Your fall doesn't mean you're a failure, weak, or not worth the effort
  • It just means you're learning
  • Why Lindsey eventually saw her falls as necessary
  • How falls are setups for breakthroughs, not just setbacks

You Are Right Where You Need to Be

  • Not where you want to be, but where you need to be
  • You can't skip ahead or bypass the lesson
  • The truth: you can't change what you won't acknowledge
  • You can't heal what you won't feel
  • You can't grow without falling
  • The fall isn't the end of your story - it's the beginning of your breakthrough
Key Takeaways:

✨ Sometimes the fall is required - without it, we wouldn't learn any other way

✨ Falls aren't failures, they're required education - each one teaches you something

✨ Shame isn't about the fall - it's about what you're making the fall mean about you

✨ You are right where you need to be - not where you want to be, but exactly where you need to be to learn and grow

✨ You can't change what you won't acknowledge - getting honest is the first step to getting back up

✨ The fall is setup for your breakthrough - not a setback, but preparation for progress

✨ Recovery is learning a jump you've never done before - of course you're going to fall multiple times

✨ Staying stuck is its own kind of fall - it's just slower, more painful, and doesn't teach you anything

✨ You don't have to get up alone - reach out for help, let someone stoop down to your level

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "Sometimes the fall is required. Not because I want you to hurt, but because without the fall, we wouldn't learn any other way"
  • "I guess I shouldn't skip so fast to school" - Blake, age 7
  • "I was telling everyone I was doing the things, but in reality I wasn't because I was scared"
  • "The results weren't matching my actions and I felt so defeated internally"
  • "One side of me wanted weight gain because I knew I needed it. The other side felt betrayed and terrified"
  • "That fall was my turning point. Once I got real and honest with myself, I could finally do something about it"
  • "I fell SO many times trying to land that double loop. It became my favorite jump not in spite of the falls, but BECAUSE of them"
  • "The falls weren't failures. The falls were required education"
  • "The shame isn't about the fall. The shame is about what you're making the fall mean about you"
  • "Your fall doesn't mean you're a failure. It just means you're learning"
  • "I eventually saw my falls as necessary. I don't think I would have made the progress I made without falling multiple times"
  • "The falls weren't setbacks. They were setups for my breakthrough"
  • "You are right where you need to be. Not where you want to be, but where you need to be"
  • "You can't change what you won't acknowledge. You can't heal what you won't feel. You can't grow without falling"
  • "The fall isn't the end of your story. It's the beginning of your breakthrough"
  • "Recovery isn't about never falling. Recovery is about learning to get back up"
  • "Staying stuck is its own kind of fall. It's just slower, more painful, and doesn't teach you anything"
How to Get Back Up After You Fall:

Step 1: Stop Beating Yourself Up Stop making the fall mean something about your worth. The fall is data. It's information. It's feedback. It's not a judgment on who you are.

Step 2: Get Honest Really honest. With yourself first, then with your treatment team, support system, and your people. Say: "I fell. Here's where I am. Here's what I need."

Step 3: Reach Out for Help Just like Lindsey stooped down to Blake's level to dust him off - you don't have to get up alone. In fact, you shouldn't. Let someone help you back up.

Step 4: Take the Lesson Forward Blake learned not to skip so fast. What are YOU learning from this fall? What does this fall need to teach you that you couldn't have learned any other way?

Step 5: Keep Moving Forward Maybe a little slower. Maybe a little more carefully. Maybe with more honesty this time. But keep going. Because recovery isn't about never falling - it's about learning to get back up.

Questions to Reflect On:

About Your Falls:

  • Where have you fallen recently in your recovery?
  • What is that fall trying to teach you?
  • Are you making the fall mean something about your worth?
  • Have you gotten honest about where you really are?

About Growth:

  • What fall might you need to RISK in order to grow?
  • What must you go through in order to evolve?
  • Are you staying stuck because you're too afraid to risk falling?
  • What lesson can't you learn any other way except through falling?

Specific Scenarios:

  • Maybe you've restricted when you said you wouldn't - what is that teaching you about your fear?
  • Maybe you've isolated when you said you'd reach out - what is that teaching you about shame?
  • Maybe you've lied to your treatment team - what is that teaching you about control?

The Risk Question:

  • Do you need to risk eating a fear food and falling into discomfort?
  • Do you need to risk being honest and falling into vulnerability?
  • Do you need to risk resting and falling into fear of losing control?
Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is essential listening if you:

  • Have fallen or relapsed in your ED recovery recently
  • Are lying to your treatment team about what you're really doing
  • Feel ashamed about "falling again" in your recovery
  • Beat yourself up for not being "further along"
  • Think you're a failure because you keep slipping back
  • Are too afraid to risk falling, so you stay stuck
  • Feel defeated because your results don't match your stated actions
  • Need permission to be imperfect in recovery
  • Want to understand why falls are necessary, not shameful
  • Are ready to get honest and finally change
  • Have kids and relate to the parenting/learning moments
  • Are a mom who sees your own journey in your child's lessons
Important Truths About Falls in Recovery:

Falls Are Not Failures: They're required education. Each fall teaches you something you couldn't learn any other way.

The Length of Your Struggle Doesn't Matter: Whether this is your first fall or your hundredth, you can still get back up and keep going.

Results Not Matching Actions Is a Sign: It means you're not being fully honest - with yourself or others. That realization IS the breakthrough.

You Can't Skip the Lesson: Just like Blake couldn't skip learning to slow down without falling, you can't bypass the lessons recovery requires.

Honesty Is the Turning Point: Once you get real about where you are, you can finally do something about it.

Blake's Lesson Applied to Your Recovery:

Blake was skipping too fast → You might be rushing recovery, trying to do it perfectly

Lindsey kept warning him to be careful → Your body, treatment team, loved ones have been giving you signals

He fell hard and got hurt → You've had a setback, relapse, or painful realization

He reached out for help → You don't have to get up alone - reach out

Lindsey stooped to his level → The right support meets you where you are, doesn't shame you

She dusted him off → You can clean yourself up and start fresh

He learned the lesson → "I shouldn't skip so fast" = awareness leads to change

He got back up and kept going to school → You get back up and keep moving toward recovery

The Figure Skating Lesson:

Just like Lindsey fell countless times before landing her first double loop jump - and it became her favorite jump BECAUSE of all the falls - your recovery falls are teaching you:

  • What angle is wrong (what approach isn't working)
  • What timing is off (maybe you're not ready for this step yet)
  • What fear you're holding onto (what's really keeping you stuck)
  • What adjustment you need to make (how to do it differently next time)

And eventually, when you land it, recovery will become your favorite part of your story. Not in spite of the falls, but because of them.

Permission Slip:

You have permission to:

  • Fall and not be a failure
  • Be right where you are, even if it's on the ground
  • Get honest about lying or hiding
  • Reach out for help getting back up
  • Learn slowly, one fall at a time
  • Be imperfect in your recovery journey
  • Risk falling in order to grow
  • Stop beating yourself up
  • Start fresh today, right now
Ready to Get Back Up?

If you need support getting back up after a fall, Lindsey has spots open for one-on-one recovery coaching. She'll meet you exactly where you are - no judgment, no shame - and help you find your footing again.

Visit www.herbestself.co to book your complimentary consultation.

Let's turn your fall into your breakthrough.

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 250.5: Eating Disorder Treatment Options ~ What's Best for You? (6 Levels of Care Explained) **Must Listen Fav!**04 nov. 202500:17:36

Girlfriend, maybe you've been struggling with disordered eating for decades and you don't want to put your life on hold to go into a full-blown treatment facility. Maybe you have kids at home, aging parents to care for, or a career you can't walk away from. Or maybe you don't even know what options are available, so you just stay stuck thinking you'll manage it all by yourself.

Girl, you weren't meant to do this alone.

In this episode, host Lindsey Nichol breaks down the 6 different levels of eating disorder treatment and care - from outpatient support to acute medical stabilization - so you can understand what's available and what might be best for YOUR unique situation and life circumstances.

Lindsey shares her own treatment journey through IOP and day treatment, and why finding the right level of care that fits your life is so important. Whether you're a busy mom, working woman, caregiver, or someone who simply can't leave home for residential treatment, this episode will help you understand all your options - including recovery coaching as a personalized support option.

You deserve a life free from the chains of disordered eating. And it starts with knowing what treatment options are out there.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

The 6 Levels of Eating Disorder Treatment:

Level 1: Outpatient Care

  • What it is: Weekly sessions with a care team while living at home
  • Who it's for: Those deemed medically stable who need ongoing support
  • What's included: Dietitian, therapist, medical doctor, support groups
  • Best for: Maintaining school, work, family life while getting treatment

Level 2: Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)

  • What it is: Multiple sessions per week in specialized settings
  • Where it happens: Treatment centers or hospitals
  • What's included: Group therapy, individual therapy, structured programming
  • Lindsey's experience: This is where she spent the majority of her recovery

Level 3: Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) / Day Treatment

  • What it is: 5-6 days per week, 6-8 hours per day
  • Structure: More intensive than outpatient, includes meals and therapies
  • What happens: You return home in the evenings
  • Lindsey's experience: Combined with IOP while in school - included therapies and support groups

Level 4: Residential Treatment

  • What it is: 24-hour care and supervision (inpatient experience)
  • Who it's for: Those medically stable but requiring intensive support
  • Where it happens: Medical hospitals, centers, or homelike facilities
  • Structure: Full-time structured environment with comprehensive care

Level 5: Inpatient Hospitalization

  • What it is: Most appropriate for high-intensity medical/psychiatric needs
  • Structure: 24-hour medical psychiatric facility
  • Who it's for: Those not responding to other treatments, experiencing self-harm, severe depression, or needing intensive medical oversight

Level 6: Acute Medical Stabilization

  • What it is: The highest level of critical care for eating disorders
  • Who it's for: Those medically unstable due to severity or medical complications
  • Primary focus: Physical stabilization before moving to other treatment levels

Plus: Recovery Coaching as a Treatment Option

  • What it is: One-on-one virtual support for guided accountability and actionable recovery steps
  • Who it's for: Those who can't or won't go into residential but need support
  • How it works: Weekly sessions focused on action, not diagnosis
  • Can be layered: Works alongside therapy, dietitian, and medical care
Key Takeaways:

✨ Treatment is personalized - what works for someone else may not work for you, and that's okay

✨ You don't have to choose residential - there are multiple levels of care that allow you to stay home

✨ Recovery is NOT black and white - you can get support at various levels based on your life circumstances

✨ You weren't meant to do this alone - even if you can't go to residential, you need SOME level of support

✨ Everyone's recovery is their own - your journey is unique and valid regardless of which level of care you choose

✨ Recovery coaching is a valid option - especially when layered with other care team members

✨ You owe you, sister - putting yourself first isn't selfish, it's necessary

✨ More options exist now - compared to years ago, there are so many more treatment options available

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "You deserve a life that's free from the chains of disordered eating"
  • "Maybe you don't even know what options are available for you, so you just stay here thinking you're gonna manage it all by yourself"
  • "Everyone's recovery is your recovery. Your journey is your journey"
  • "What's best for you might not be best for me. What worked for me might not work for someone else"
  • "You weren't meant to do life alone. You definitely weren't meant to do the hard things alone"
  • "You owe you, sister"
  • "It's not black and white. There's so many other options"
  • "What matters is that you're standing up for you"
  • "You are worth it. You deserve it"
  • "Everyone else in your life is gonna benefit when you can start putting you first"
Important Information About Each Treatment Level: When to Consider Outpatient:
  • You're medically stable
  • You can maintain work/school/family responsibilities
  • You need ongoing support and accountability
  • You're in maintenance or relapse prevention phase
When to Consider IOP:
  • You need more structure than weekly appointments
  • You can still live at home
  • You benefit from group support
  • You need multiple therapy modalities
When to Consider PHP/Day Treatment:
  • You need daily structure but can return home at night
  • You require meal support
  • You need more intensive care than IOP
  • You're transitioning from residential or preventing residential
When to Consider Residential:
  • You need 24-hour support but are medically stable
  • Your home environment isn't supportive of recovery
  • You need complete immersion in treatment
  • Outpatient options haven't been effective
When to Consider Inpatient:
  • You're experiencing severe symptoms
  • There's self-harm or suicidal ideation
  • You need medical and psychiatric oversight
  • You require the highest level of structure
When to Consider Recovery Coaching:
  • You can't or won't do residential treatment
  • You have kids, aging parents, or career obligations
  • You want actionable support, not diagnosis
  • You're looking for relapse prevention
  • You want to layer support with existing care team
What Makes Recovery Coaching Different:

Not therapy: Coaches don't diagnose or address trauma - they focus on forward action

Accountability structure: Weekly sessions keep you committed to your recovery goals

Actionable support: Focused on practical steps like facing fear foods, getting off the scale, eating out with family

Virtual and flexible: Fits into busy lives with kids, work, caregiving responsibilities

Layered care: Works alongside dietitians, therapists, and medical professionals

Relapse prevention: Helps maintain recovery after intensive treatment

Questions to Ask When Choosing Treatment:
  • What level of medical stability am I at currently?
  • What are my life circumstances? (Kids, work, caregiving, school)
  • Can I leave home for treatment, or do I need to stay local?
  • What treatment options are available in my area?
  • What does my insurance cover?
  • Do I need 24-hour support or can I manage with weekly sessions?
  • Am I willing to commit to doing the work required at each level?
  • What has or hasn't worked for me in the past?
  • Do I have a support system at home?
  • What does my healthcare team recommend?
Action Steps After This Episode:
  1. Assess where you are: Are you medically stable? What symptoms are you experiencing?
  2. Talk to a healthcare professional: Schedule appointments with your doctor to discuss which level of care is appropriate
  3. Research local options: Google treatment centers, IOP programs, PHP programs in your area
  4. Consider online options: Virtual recovery coaching, online support groups, telehealth therapy
  5. Build your care team: Even if you can't do residential, assemble support (dietitian, therapist, coach, doctor)
  6. Stop doing this alone: Commit to getting SOME level of support starting today
  7. Reach out: If recovery coaching interests you, visit lindseynickel.com to learn more
Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is essential listening if you:

  • Don't know what eating disorder treatment options exist
  • Think residential is your only option (and you can't do it)
  • Have been doing this alone and need to know what help is available
  • Are a busy mom, working woman, or caregiver who can't leave home
  • Have been in treatment before and need to know what's next
  • Are researching options for a loved one struggling with disordered eating
  • Want to understand the difference between IOP, PHP, and residential
  • Need permission to choose the treatment level that fits YOUR life
  • Are looking for alternatives to inpatient treatment
  • Want to layer recovery coaching with your existing care team
Resources Mentioned:

National Alliance for Eating Disorders: Information on treatment levels and resources

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA): Comprehensive treatment information and support

Recovery Coaching with Lindsey: One-on-one virtual support, weekly sessions, actionable recovery tools

Her Best Self Facebook Community: Support group for women in recovery

Important Reminder:

Lindsey is NOT a medical professional. The information in this episode is based on her personal experience and education but should not replace consultation with a licensed healthcare professional. Always speak with your doctor, therapist, or treatment team to determine which level of care is most appropriate for your specific situation.

Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you identify the core beliefs feeding your eating disorder, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 250: 5 Scary Stories Your ED Tells You + How to Stop Being Haunted by Them This Halloween👻🍬31 oct. 202500:19:00

Happy Halloween, girlfriend! But let's talk about what's TRULY scary - the lies your eating disorder has been telling you that keep you trapped, paralyzed, and missing out on your life.

In this special Halloween episode, host Lindsey Nichol unmasks the 5 scariest stories your eating disorder tells you and reveals why they're complete fiction. If you're a woman over 40 who's been haunted by food fears, candy panic, and the belief that you've been struggling "too long" to ever find freedom, this episode is your wake-up call.

Lindsey shares her own triggering Halloween experience - dressing up as a plastic surgery victim in her mid-20s, complete with bandages and circles marking her "imperfections" - and how that costume revealed just how deep her denial really was. Then she walks you through each scary story, debunking the lies and replacing them with truth.

This isn't just a Halloween episode. This is permission to finally unmask your eating disorder and step into the freedom you deserve - no matter your age, no matter how long you've been struggling.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Lindsey's Halloween Confession:

  • Why Halloween was always triggering (candy panic, food fear, restriction spirals)
  • The plastic surgery victim costume story that revealed her denial
  • How eating disorders convince you the horror show is normal
  • The moment she realized she was literally wearing her body dysmorphia as a costume

The 5 Scary Stories (Lies) Your ED Tells You:

Scary Story #1: "If I Eat Candy, I'll Lose All Control"

  • Why restriction and deprivation CREATE the loss of control
  • How scarcity breeds obsession and leads to binging
  • The truth about trusting yourself around "forbidden" foods
  • What you're really missing when you avoid Halloween treats with your family

Scary Story #2: "I'll Gain Weight Immediately If I Stop Restricting"

  • Why your body is not a calculator waiting to punish you
  • The truth about initial weight fluctuation during healing
  • How restriction has NEVER given you the body you thought it would
  • What set point really means and why fighting it exhausts you

Scary Story #3: "I Can't Trust Myself Around Food"

  • Why you've forgotten what trust feels like after years of external rules
  • How every restriction reinforces the lie that you're not capable
  • What you're modeling for your kids or grandkids when you don't trust yourself
  • The truth: trust is rebuilt one choice at a time

Scary Story #4: "Everyone Will Judge Me If I Gain Weight (And So Will I)"

  • The double lie: external judgment + internal harsh critic
  • Why the people who matter want you PRESENT, not perfect
  • What people are actually judging (your obsession, not your body)
  • The scary truth: you're already miserable, the ED isn't protecting you FROM misery

Scary Story #5: "I've Been Struggling So Long, I'll Probably Always Be This Way"

  • Why the length of time struggling has NOTHING to do with recovery potential
  • The truth for women in their 40s, 50s, 60s+ finding freedom
  • Why "I wish I had started sooner" means TODAY is your sooner
  • How to stop wasting one more Halloween believing this is your fate

The Unmasking:

  • Why you're exhausted from wearing the ED mask
  • How to stop hiding and pretending this is sustainable
  • What it means to take off the costume and show up as your real self
  • The truth about who you are underneath the eating disorder
Key Takeaways:

✨ The ED convinces you the horror show is normal - it puts a mask over your eyes so you can't see reality

✨ Fear of losing control actually CREATES loss of control - restriction is what makes you feel out of control

✨ Your body has a set point - fighting against it is what's exhausting you, not the weight itself

✨ You CAN trust yourself - but trust is rebuilt one choice at a time after years of external rules

✨ The people who matter want you present, not perfect - they're judging your obsession, not your body

✨ It's NOT too late - recovery is possible at ANY age after ANY amount of time struggling

✨ You're already miserable - the ED isn't protecting you from misery, it IS the misery

✨ Today is your "sooner" - stop waiting for the perfect time to unmask and get free

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "These aren't the fun kind of scary stories. These are the lies that keep you trapped."
  • "I was literally wearing my body dysmorphia as a costume"
  • "Your fear of losing control is actually what creates the loss of control"
  • "You've spent DECADES restricting and you STILL don't have the body you thought restriction would give you"
  • "You're trading temporary weight fluctuation for permanent freedom - and that's the best trade you'll ever make"
  • "Every time you follow a rule instead of listening to your body, you're telling yourself 'I can't handle freedom'"
  • "The people who matter don't care about your body size. The people who care about your body size don't matter"
  • "You're ALREADY miserable. The eating disorder isn't protecting you from misery - it IS the misery"
  • "The length of time you've been struggling has NOTHING to do with whether you can recover"
  • "You've been wearing the eating disorder mask for how long now? It's time to unmask"
  • "Wanting freedom isn't enough. You have to DO it"
Your Halloween Challenge:

Part 1: Identify and Unmask Your Scariest Lie

Write down the SCARIEST lie you've been believing - the one that has the most power over you.

Then unmask it by writing the TRUTH next to that lie.

Examples:

  • Lie: "I can't trust myself around food" Truth: "I am learning to trust myself one choice at a time"
  • Lie: "I'm too old to recover" Truth: "Recovery is possible at any age, and I'm starting today"
  • Lie: "If I gain weight, I'll be miserable" Truth: "I'm already miserable. Freedom is worth more than a number on the scale"

Part 2: Face One Food Fear This Halloween Weekend

Take one action that scares you:

  • Have one piece of candy without guilt
  • Order the food you actually want
  • Take a rest day without panic
  • Eat Halloween treats with your family without restriction

One unmasked lie. One fear faced. That's how recovery starts.

Reflection Questions:
  • Which of the 5 scary stories has the most power over me?
  • How long have I been wearing the eating disorder "mask"?
  • What am I missing out on while I'm trapped in food fear?
  • If my kids or grandkids are watching, what am I modeling about trust and food?
  • What would change in my life if I stopped believing the scariest lie?
  • Am I ready to unmask and show up as my real self?
  • What's ONE fear I can face this Halloween weekend?
Who This Episode Is For:

This Halloween episode is for you if:

  • You experience candy panic and food fear during holidays
  • You've been struggling for 10, 20, 30+ years and think it's "too late"
  • You're in your 40s, 50s, or 60s and wonder if recovery is possible at your age
  • You can't trust yourself around "trigger foods"
  • You're terrified of gaining weight if you stop restricting
  • You're missing out on holiday memories with family because of food obsession
  • You're exhausted from wearing the ED mask and pretending everything is fine
  • You're ready to stop being haunted by lies and start living in truth
  • You need permission to believe change is possible after all this time
Special Episode Note:

EPISODE 250! This milestone episode falls on Halloween, making it the perfect time to unmask the eating disorder and celebrate how far you've come. Whether this is your first episode or you've been listening since day one, thank you for being part of this community. Recovery is possible, girlfriend - and it starts with unmasking the lies.

Important Truth:

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. This isn't small. This is life and death. If you're trapped in the cycle of food fear, restriction, and believing you've been struggling "too long" to ever find freedom, please hear this: It's not too late. Recovery is possible. And you deserve to live without being haunted.

Ready to Unmask Your Eating Disorder and Find Freedom?

Lindsey has spots open for one-on-one recovery coaching. If you're done being haunted by scary stories and ready to live in truth, visit www.herbestself.co to book your complimentary consultation.

Let's make this the last Halloween you spend trapped in these lies.

Connect with Lindsey Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💝 Rate and review to help more perfectionists find freedom 💝 Share with a friend who's stuck in the perfection trap 💝 Join the Facebook community for recovery hugs and support 💝 Apply for 1:1 coaching if you're ready for personalized guidance

Special Announcements:

🎉 Subscribe to the email list at www.herbestself.co to get your free recovery journal download 🎉 Free FB Community at www.herbestselfsociety.com 

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 249: Your Recovery Reality Check to Stop Making Excuses & Start Making Changes (+ 2 Freedom Challenges to Try Today!)28 oct. 202500:17:50

Girlfriend, it's time for some real talk. If you keep saying you want recovery but your actions don't match your words, this episode is your wake-up call. Host Lindsey Nichol delivers tough love with compassion as she breaks down the truth: there are two types of people in this world - those with reasons and those with results. Which one are you?

In this powerful episode, Lindsey shares her own struggle with desperately wanting recovery while still restricting, lying to her treatment team, and choosing the "safe" option every single time. She'll teach you how one simple shift - replacing "I can't" with "I won't" - can completely transform your recovery journey by helping you own your choices and reclaim your power.

If you're tired of making excuses, breaking promises to yourself, and staying stuck in the same cycle, this is the episode that will challenge you to finally show up for yourself and your family.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

The Two Types of People Framework:

  • Those with REASONS vs those with RESULTS - which one are you?
  • Why having a list of excuses keeps you stuck in disordered eating patterns
  • How to shift from wanting recovery to DOING recovery

The "I Can't" vs "I Won't" Truth Bomb:

  • Why "I can't" gives away your power and keeps you playing victim
  • How replacing "I can't" with "I won't" creates awareness and ownership
  • The massive difference between these two phrases in your recovery journey

Lindsey's Personal Story:

  • When she desperately wanted to get better but her actions didn't match
  • How she was still restricting while saying she wanted freedom
  • The moment she realized she was tired of her own BS and didn't want to be a statistic
  • What finally shifted her from reasons to results

The Reality Check You Need:

  • Why your fear isn't protecting you - it's imprisoning you
  • How every broken promise reinforces the belief that you can't trust yourself
  • The truth about what breaking promises is really doing to your recovery
Key Takeaways:

✨ There are two types of people: those with reasons and those with results - you get to choose which one you'll be

✨ "I can't" is a lie - what you really mean is "I won't" and that's a choice you have power over

✨ Wanting recovery and DOING recovery are completely different things - listening to podcasts isn't the same as taking action

✨ You cannot want recovery more than you want the eating disorder - your actions reveal what you truly want

✨ Your recovery isn't just for you - it's for your family too - they need to see you model what keeping promises looks like

✨ Every action you take is a vote for who you're becoming - what are you voting for today?

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "Recovery isn't happening because you keep breaking promises to yourself"
  • "There are two types of people in this world - those with reasons and those with results"
  • "Every time you say 'I can't,' what you really mean is 'I won't'"
  • "My desires and my future wants didn't match my daily actions"
  • "I was tired of my own BS. I didn't want to be a statistic"
  • "Wanting recovery and DOING recovery are two completely different things"
  • "Your fear is not protecting you. It's imprisoning you"
  • "You cannot want recovery more than you want the eating disorder"
  • "Your family can't see what you're not modeling"
  • "You are one decision away from a completely different life"
  • "Those with reasons stay stuck. Those with results change their lives"
Featured Wisdom:

Brené Brown: "You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness."

James Clear (Atomic Habits): "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become."

Mel Robbins: "You are one decision away from a completely different life."

Important Truth:

Did you know? Eating disorders have the HIGHEST mortality rate of any mental illness. This isn't small. This is life and death. If you're stuck in the cycle of wanting recovery but not doing recovery, it's time to get honest about what's at stake.

Your Two Challenges (Do Them NOW): Challenge #1: The "I Won't" Awareness Exercise

For the next 24 hours, every time you catch yourself saying "I can't," PAUSE. Take a breath. Replace it with "I won't."

Examples:

  • "I can't eat that" → "I won't eat that"
  • "I can't rest today" → "I won't rest today"
  • "I can't be honest right now" → "I won't be honest right now"

Notice how different that FEELS. When you admit it's a choice, you suddenly have the power to make a different one.

Challenge #2: Make ONE Promise and Keep It

Just ONE. Not ten. Not a complete recovery overhaul. ONE promise.

Maybe it's:

  • "I will eat breakfast tomorrow, even if it scares me"
  • "I will take a rest day this week"
  • "I will order something different at the restaurant"
  • "I will tell my therapist one true thing I've been hiding"

Write it down. Then DO IT. Prove to yourself that you're someone who keeps promises.

Reflection Questions to Journal On:
  • What excuses have I been using to avoid recovery?
  • Where is the gap between what I SAY I want and what I'm actually DOING?
  • What promises have I been breaking to myself?
  • Am I someone with reasons or someone with results?
  • What am I voting for with my choices today?
  • What type of person am I becoming based on my current actions?
  • What's ONE promise I can make and keep today?
  • If I'm honest with myself, do I want recovery more than I want the eating disorder?
Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is your wake-up call and reality check if you:

  • Keep saying you want recovery but your actions don't match
  • Have a list of excuses for why "now isn't the right time"
  • Break promises to yourself regularly
  • Lie to your treatment team about what you're really doing
  • Choose the "safe" option every single time
  • Say "I can't" more than you take action
  • Want to be present for your family but feel trapped
  • Are tired of making excuses and ready for results
  • Need tough love mixed with fierce support
  • Want to stop being a statistic and start living in freedom
The Bottom Line:

You have everything you need to recover. You have the desire. You have the resources. You have the support. The only thing standing between you and freedom is YOU.

Your family needs you. Your future needs you. And most importantly, YOU need you.

So stop playing small. Stop breaking promises. Stop saying "I can't" when you mean "I won't."

Because those with reasons stay stuck. But those with RESULTS? They change their lives.

Which one are you going to be?

Ready to Stop Breaking Promises and Start Living Free?

Lindsey has spots open for one-on-one recovery coaching. If you're ready to stop making excuses and start getting results, visit www.herbestself.co to book your complimentary consultation.

Let's make this the season where everything changes.

Now let's talk support:

Ready to sign up for our recovery support group? www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

📧 Email Lindsey: info@lindseynichol.com  🌐 Apply for Recovery Coaching: www.herbestself.co  💕 Join the Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Limited spots available for fall coaching - only 2 slots remaining

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 248: The 4 Types of Body Image ~ How to Heal from Negative Ideals & Appreciate Your Body in Recovery24 oct. 202500:17:05

Girlfriend, if you're tired of the never-ending cycle of body checking, comparing yourself to everyone around you, and feeling trapped in a body you don't recognize, this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol breaks down the 4 categories of body image according to the National Eating Disorder Collaboration and walks you through practical exercises to challenge the negative body ideals that are keeping you stuck.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

The 4 Categories of Body Image:

  1. Perceptual - The way you SEE your body
  2. Affective - The way you FEEL about your body (shape, weight, emotions)
  3. Cognitive - The way you THINK about your body
  4. Behavioral - How you REACT and engage based on the first three

Plus, You'll Learn:

  • How to identify where your "body ideal" came from (and why it might not be real)
  • The truth about social media comparison and "comparisonitis"
  • Why achieving your ideal body still won't make you feel "enough"
  • How conditioning from a young age programmed false beliefs about your body
  • The difference between focusing on being skinny vs. focusing on strength and health
  • Practical ways to shift from body dissatisfaction to body appreciation
Key Takeaways:

✨ You are NOT your body - Your body is a vessel, not your identity ✨ Body ideals are conditioned, not truth - Society programmed you to believe skinny is good and fat is bad ✨ Your true beauty is who you are WITHOUT restrictive behaviors ✨ Choice is your superpower - You can choose appreciation right now, today ✨ You can change the way you see, feel, and think about your body - And that changes everything

Powerful Exercises to Try Today: 1. The Body Ideal Inventory

Write out every detail of your "perfect body." Then ask yourself:

  • Where did this image come from?
  • Is there a specific person (celebrity, friend, family member) that comes to mind?
  • Has social media contributed to this ideal?
  • Would I care about this if I lived alone on an island with no one to compare myself to?
2. The Appreciation Practice

Today, look at someone in your life without judging or comparing their body to yours. Find ONE thing you can admire or appreciate about their body. Then reflect on what this reveals about your own body ideals.

3. The Mirror Challenge

Look at yourself face-to-face in the mirror and say OUT LOUD: "I am willing to do the hard things. I am willing to make changes in my life. I may not be seeing what is real and true because of false distortion, but I can choose right now to appreciate, respect, and care for me regardless."

4. The Reframe Exercise

Choose one body part you criticize. Now reframe it - what can you appreciate about this part? Just like you appreciated something about someone else, extend that same grace to yourself.

5. The Shift from Skinny to Strong

Instead of idolizing being skinny, focus on STRENGTH. Instead of weighing less, focus on HEALTH. What would change in your life if you made this shift?

Questions to Journal On:
  • What would my ideal body be if I had no one to compare myself to?
  • Would I be restricting food if I lived on an island alone?
  • At what point in my life did someone make me feel "less than" about my body?
  • What if this belief I've held for so long isn't even true - just a programmed distortion?
  • What do I want to be KNOWN for beyond my appearance?
  • Who am I outside of my body?
  • What can I appreciate about myself RIGHT NOW?
Powerful Quotes from This Episode:
  • "You are not your body. Your body is a vessel."
  • "Comparisonitis is real and it's poison to your being"
  • "Your true beauty is who you are without restrictive behaviors"
  • "You can be 80 pounds or 400 pounds and you're still YOU"
  • "What if this belief in your heart that you've been believing for so long is not even true?"
  • "Do you not know that your body is a temple? You were bought at a price. Honor your body to honor your creator." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Who This Episode Is For:

This episode is for you if you're:

  • Tired of the never-ending cycle of disordered eating
  • Sick of restricting some days and eating other days
  • Done with the shame game and feeling "not good enough"
  • Exhausted from hating your body while simultaneously punishing it
  • Ready to stop comparing your body to everyone around you
  • Wanting to feel happy, confident, and empowered in your skin
  • Wondering if body acceptance is even possible after years of struggle
Scripture Reference:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - "Do you not know that your body is a temple? You are not your own. You were bought at a price. Honor your body to honor your creator."

Resources & Next Steps:

Join the Community: Connect with other women on the recovery journey in Lindsey's private Facebook community - www.herbsestselfsociety.com !

Work with Lindsey: Ready for one-on-one support? Lindsey offers personalized recovery coaching. Visit www.herbestself.co/services  to book a complimentary consultation and see if coaching is the right fit for you.

Take Action: Grab your journal, do the exercises from this episode, and share your insights in the Her Best Self Facebook community. Recovery isn't meant to be done alone, girlfriend!

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder

EP 247.5: From Rejection to Redemption ~ How Past Hurts Keep You Stuck in Disordered Eating & What to Do Next21 oct. 202500:13:00

What if I told you that the eating disorder you're battling isn't really about food at all—it's about rejection?

In this deeply personal episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on my own rejection story and how those painful moments shaped my relationship with food, my body, and control. From being told to "get in line by size" at dance practice to corporate disappointments and broken friendships, I'm sharing the rejection wounds that led me down the path of disordered eating.

Here's the truth: perfectionism is rejection prevention. It's the way your brain tries to avoid the emotional trauma of feeling "not enough." And your eating disorder? It offers the illusion of protection—a false comfort that promises to fix everything and prevent future rejection. But the only thing it really does is lead to the deepest rejection of all: rejecting your own worthiness.

Today, we're dissecting rejection together. I'm meeting you in that painful place so you can discover what I've learned: your rejection story can become your redemption story. Rejection isn't the end—it's God's protection, His redirection, and often the most powerful motivator for transformation.

If you've been shrinking yourself to fit into spaces you were rejected from, this episode is your invitation to take up space again, feel free again, and reject the rejection that was never yours to carry.

What You'll Learn:

[02:30] The moment everything changed: My dance practice rejection story and how one comment shifted my entire relationship with my body

[05:00] Why perfectionism is actually rejection prevention—and how it fuels your eating disorder

[07:15] The cycle that keeps you stuck: Fear of rejection → False control → Isolation → Disordered eating behaviors → Reinforced rejection fears

[09:45] How early experiences shape your relationship with safety (and why you desperately want to be seen, heard, and loved)

[12:00] Protection strategies your brain uses: Numbing through restriction, creating physical armor through body changes, food rituals as predictable comfort

[15:30] My personal rejection timeline: From Disney on Ice to corporate promotions, college boyfriends to broken friendships—the moments that shaped my story

[18:00] The powerful reframe: Rejection is God's protection and redirection. What would you have missed if those doors had stayed open?

[20:30] How recovered people reject rejection—practical steps to heal and move forward

[23:00] The three questions to ask when rejection voices show up: "So what? Says who? Who cares?"

Key Takeaways:

💔 Perfectionism = Rejection Prevention: Your eating disorder isn't about food. It's your brain's attempt to avoid the pain of feeling "not enough."

🔄 The Rejection Cycle: Fear of rejection leads to false control (food/body manipulation), which leads to isolation, which reinforces rejection fears, which prevents you from being seen, heard, and loved.

✨ Rejection → Redemption: Your rejection story matters because it can become your redemption story. Every painful moment can be transformed into power.

🚪 If those doors had stayed open, what would you have missed? Rejection is often God's redirection toward a better path you couldn't have imagined.

🛡️ Protection Strategies Keeping You Stuck:

  • Numbing emotional pain through food restriction
  • Creating physical armor through weight manipulation
  • Using food rituals as predictable comfort
  • Turning inward to "fix" things that don't need fixing

💪 Recovered People Reject Rejection: They show up imperfectly, embrace progress over perfection, create healthy boundaries, build self-trust, and sit with uncomfortable emotions.

🎯 The Most Powerful Truth: No one needs to like you but you. You are approved by God who created you and put a seal of worthiness on your birth certificate. You're not rejected—you're redeemed.

Reflection Questions for Your Journal:

📝 What are your rejection stories? What moments made you feel unseen, unheard, or unloved?

📝 How did those rejections shape your relationship with food and your body? When did you start "the exhausting project of trying to shrink yourself"?

📝 What parts of yourself have you rejected? Movement you loved? Activities that brought joy? Nourishment? Rest? Connection?

📝 If those doors had stayed open, what would you have missed? What blessings came from closed doors?

📝 What rejection are you still carrying that isn't yours? What old wound keeps replaying as current truth?

Action Steps:

✍️ Write out your rejection story. This isn't to create trauma—it's to find freedom in laying it down, forgiving it, and moving forward.

🗣️ Practice the three questions: Next time rejection voices show up ("you're not good enough," "you can't eat that"), respond with: "So what? Says who? Who cares?"

🔄 Reframe your rejections: List your biggest rejections, then write what you would have missed if those doors had stayed open.

💪 Start doing the next right thing: Show up imperfectly, embrace progress over perfection, create healthy boundaries, and build self-trust.

🙅‍♀️ Stop people pleasing: You don't need to be for everyone. It's okay to not have a seat at everyone's table.

Quotes from This Episode:

"Perfectionism is rejection prevention. It's the way that our brain and our mind tries to avoid the pain and the emotional trauma of feeling the not enoughness."

"In trying to protect yourself from rejection, you begin rejecting parts of yourself—movement you enjoyed, activities that bring you joy, nourishment, rest, and eventually connection with people you cherished."

"The eating disorder promises to fix everything, promises that everyone will accept you, promises to fix any future rejection. But the only real thing it does is lead to the deepest rejection of all: rejecting your own worthiness."

"Whatever story you've been replaying on repeat, you can learn to take up space, feel free again, and reject the rejection that was never yours to carry."

"Rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of a better path. When we start looking at it like that, it becomes the most powerful motivator in your life."

"No one needs to like you but you. The cycle of fear of rejection leads to false control, which leads to isolation, which reinforces rejection fears and prevents you from being seen, heard, and loved."

"Rejection is God's protection. It is His redirection. If those doors had stayed open, what would you have missed?"

"You're not rejected, you're redeemed. You're not bad. Maybe you just shine a little too bright for someone who couldn't handle it."

"Recovered people reject rejection."

Connect with Lindsey

.

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone.

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story.

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder

EP 247: "Will I Always Feel This Way?" Understanding Hard Times in ED Recovery + 3 Outcomes That Determine Your Freedom17 oct. 202500:15:19

If you're in the thick of eating disorder recovery right now and wondering if it's ever going to get easier, this episode is for you.

Maybe you had a rough week with food. Maybe you're exhausted from fighting the same battles in your head every single day. Maybe you're wondering if recovery is even worth it because right now it just feels so incredibly hard.

In this episode, Lindsey gets real about hard times in recovery and shares a truth that will change how you see your struggle: there are only three possible outcomes when you're going through something hard, and what you choose determines everything about your recovery and your future.

This isn't a "just think positive" pep talk. This is truth-telling, no-nonsense guidance about why hard times don't last forever—but only if you refuse to stay stuck in them. If you're ready to stop waiting for recovery to magically get easier and start building the resilience you need to actually get better, this episode will show you how.

What You'll Learn:

  • The only 3 possible outcomes when you're in a hard season of recovery (and why understanding this changes everything)
  • Why quitting doesn't actually end the hard time—it just makes it last longer
  • The difference between "it getting better" and "you getting better" (and why only one leads to lasting freedom)
  • How to stop waiting for circumstances to change and start actively participating in your own healing
  • Why hard times only end when you decide they end—not when you feel ready
  • How to make decisions from your healed self instead of your wounded self
  • What it really means to move through hard times instead of staying stuck in them

The 3 Outcomes of Hard Times:

Outcome #1: You Quit Quitting looks like going back to restriction because it feels safer. It's skipping meals after a bad body image day. It's choosing what's familiar over what will set you free. When you quit moving forward, the hard time doesn't end—it just becomes your new normal.

Outcome #2: It Gets Better Sometimes circumstances change and the external situation improves. But if YOU don't change? You're just waiting for the next hard time to come along. You'll always be one comment away from spiraling, one trigger away from old patterns.

Outcome #3: You Get Better This is where your power lives. This is where transformation happens. When YOU get better, you learn to nourish your body even when you don't feel deserving. You challenge food rules. You sit with emotions instead of controlling them through food or exercise. You make decisions from your healed self.

Key Takeaways:

✨ Hard times don't last forever—but they also don't end just because you want them to. They end when you choose to move through them.

✨ There are only 3 outcomes: you quit, it gets better, or you get better. Only one leads to lasting freedom.

✨ When you quit, the hard time doesn't disappear—it just continues and becomes your normal.

✨ Relying on circumstances to improve keeps you at the mercy of triggers and external situations.

✨ You getting better means actively participating in your own healing, not just hoping things change.

✨ The hard time becomes your identity when you refuse to move forward—it becomes who you are instead of something you're moving through.

✨ Choosing to get better is hard, but staying stuck is harder. Wake up a year from now in the same place or choose to do the work now.

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:

"Hard times don't last forever. They don't. But only if you refuse to stay stuck in them."

"Hard times end when you decide they end. Not when circumstances are perfect. Not when you feel ready. Not when it's easy. They end when you decide to keep moving forward even when it's hard."

"When you quit, the hard time doesn't actually end. It just continues. It stretches out. It becomes your new normal."

"When YOU get better, it doesn't matter as much what the circumstances are. When YOU get better, you have tools to work through triggers."

"You don't have to stay here. You don't have to live in this hard time forever. But you do have to choose to move through it."

"The hard time you're in right now? It's not forever. It's not your ending. It's not your identity. It's just a chapter. And you get to write what comes next."

Real Talk:

This episode delivers no-nonsense truth: the eating disorder wants you to believe you'll always feel this way, but that's a lie. You don't have to stay stuck. But you do have to choose outcome #3—to get better. That means showing up when you don't feel like it, doing the opposite of what the disorder tells you, and trusting the process even when you can't see results yet.

What's harder than doing the work? Waking up years from now still fighting the same battles because you never chose to get better.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

  • Am I quitting on myself in this moment?
  • Am I waiting for circumstances to change, or am I choosing to change?
  • Am I making decisions from my healed self or my wounded self?
  • What would it look like for ME to get better, not just for IT to get better?
  • Am I refusing to move forward and making this hard time my identity?

Ready to Choose Outcome #3?

If you're ready to stop staying stuck and start getting better, you don't have to do it alone.

Inside The Recovery Collective, Lindsey's support group program, you get:

  • Live 2x coaching calls with Lindsey per month
  • A community of women also choosing to get better
  • Tools and frameworks to move through hard times instead of staying stuck
  • Support to actively participate in your healing journey

Learn more and join at: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 246: What to Do When You're Triggered ~ A Real-Time, 6-Step Recovery Game Plan (Perfect for the Holidays)🎃14 oct. 202500:21:06

You're at a family dinner. Someone makes a comment about your body or what's on your plate. Suddenly your chest is tight, your mind is racing, and you're already planning tomorrow's restriction or extra workout. Sound familiar?

In this episode, Lindsey Nichol gives you a real-time, actionable game plan for working through triggers as they happen—not tomorrow, not after the holidays, but RIGHT NOW. Whether it's an upcoming holiday gathering, a comment from a loved one, or scrolling social media, you'll learn exactly what to do in those moments when you feel completely out of control.

Lindsey walks you through six powerful steps to move through triggering situations without falling back into restriction, over-exercising, or shame spirals. This isn't theory—this is practical, do-it-now guidance that will help you act from your healed self instead of your wounded self.

What You'll Learn:

  • Why your body's physical response to triggers is actually giving you valuable information
  • The 6-step method to work through any triggering situation in real-time
  • How to identify what your body and emotions are actually asking for (hint: it's not restriction)
  • The "Act As If Now" principle that changes everything about how you respond to triggers
  • A real client story of working through a triggering family gathering
  • Why you have to stop operating from your unhealed self and start making decisions from freedom

Key Takeaways:

✨ Your body isn't broken—it's trying to protect you based on old experiences that aren't happening right now

✨ You can't heal what you won't feel—naming your emotions is essential to moving through triggers

✨ The emotions you feel during triggers exist because they once kept you safe, but you get to choose differently now

✨ What would your best self do? Your future self who's already free? Act as if you're already her—because you are

✨ One triggering moment doesn't define your recovery—how you respond does

The 6-Step Trigger Game Plan:

  1. Notice Your Body - Is your chest tight? Shoulders tense? Jaw clenched? Your body is giving you information
  2. Breathe - Hand on belly, breathe in for 4 counts, out for 6. Create space between the trigger and your reaction
  3. Name the Sensation - Where is the tension? The tightness? The heaviness? What is your body saying?
  4. Name the Emotion - I feel scared. Sad. Ashamed. Out of control. Unworthy. Name it out loud
  5. Compassion - That emotion exists because it once kept you safe. Your body is being reminded of an old experience. Give yourself grace
  6. Meet Your Now Needs - What do you need right now? A break? A phone call? Food? To do the opposite action? Then ACT AS IF you're already recovered

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:

"What you do in the next few minutes after you feel triggered will either keep you stuck in the same cycle or move you one step closer to the freedom you're desperately craving."

"You can't heal what you won't feel."

"That old experience isn't happening right now. You're not that little girl anymore who learned she had to earn love or approval."

"Stop operating from your unhealed self. Stop letting the wounds make the decisions. Stop letting the fear drive the bus."

"You ARE that future version of yourself. She's not some distant dream. She's you—making the next right choice in this moment."

Ready for More Support?

If you need help working through triggers and breaking free from the restrict-binge cycle, join The Recovery Collective—Lindsey's group support program where you get live weekly coaching, a supportive community, and the exact tools you need to find lasting food freedom.

Learn more at: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective

Connect with Lindsey Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💝 Rate and review to help more perfectionists find freedom 💝 Share with a friend who's stuck in the perfection trap 💝 Join the Facebook community for recovery hugs and support 💝 Apply for 1:1 coaching if you're ready for personalized guidance

Special Announcements:

Subscribe to the email list at www.herbestself.co to get first access 🎉 Free FB Community at www.herbestselfsociety.com 

If You're Reading This and Struggling:

You don't have to be perfect at recovery. You don't have to check all the boxes. You don't have to be further along than you are.

Success is showing up today, even when yesterday was hard. Success is choosing growth over perfection. Success is becoming who you're meant to be, not achieving some impossible standard.

You are worthy. You are strong. You are perfectly capable right now, today, to lean into the biggest struggle of your life.

Consider this your virtual hug from Lindsey. You've got this, beautiful.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

EP 245: Stop the Restrict-Binge Cycle ~ Debunking Diet Culture's Biggest Lie (You Don't Need to Earn Your Food)10 oct. 202500:38:14

In this insightful conversation originally recorded with dietitian Brittany Braswell on Faith-Filled Food Freedom podcast, I open up about the restrict-binge cycle that keeps so many women trapped—saving calories all day only to overeat at night. This episode dismantles the myth that it's about willpower and reveals the biological and spiritual truths behind this destructive pattern.

What You'll Learn
  • Why saving calories backfires: Understanding the biological response to restriction and how scarcity thinking drives the restrict-binge cycle
  • The worthiness wound: How diet culture has taught women they need to earn, ration, and delay food instead of deserving consistent nourishment
  • Lindsey's personal story: Her years-long struggle with anorexia and calculating every meal, and how she found freedom
  • Practical action steps: Four concrete strategies to start eating earlier in the day and breaking the restrict-binge pattern
  • Identity in Christ: How knowing you're fearfully and wonderfully made changes how you treat your body as a temple
Key Takeaways

✨ The restrict-binge cycle is biological, not about willpower - When you don't eat enough during the day, your body forces a response

✨ Scarcity thinking is rooted in worthiness issues - Diet culture has taught us food must be earned, rationed, and controlled rather than something we deserve consistently

✨ Comfort isn't the goal, freedom is - Breaking the cycle requires doing uncomfortable opposite actions

✨ Ask yourself: Is this decision from fear or love? - If you're making food choices out of fear, that's a signal to do the opposite

✨ You are fearfully and wonderfully made - Your identity is larger than the vessel you came here with

Practical Strategies Discussed 1. Combat the Lie of Unworthiness
  • Recognize you are deserving of good things NOW, not later
  • Your worth is tied to being made in God's image—period
  • Feelings aren't facts when you feel undeserving
2. Set New Non-Negotiables
  • Create mechanical eating boundaries (2-3 meals + snacks) regardless of hunger cues
  • Commit to eating 1-2 hours earlier than your current pattern
  • Make a specific plan: What time? What food? Write it down.
3. Do the Opposite Action
  • When the voice says "wait until later," immediately do the opposite
  • Rewire your brain by not taking orders from "Regina George" anymore
  • Break the rules that keep you trapped—the world won't fall apart
4. Start with Half Portions Earlier
  • If eating a full meal earlier feels overwhelming, start with half
  • Build consistency with small steps, not overnight overhauls
  • Change happens with consistent small actions
5. Get Logical About Time
  • Challenge arbitrary eating times—it's already mealtime somewhere else in the world
  • Do the hard thing first to get it out of the way
  • Make concrete plans, not optional intentions
Powerful Quotes

"You were created by God, made in His image, and you are so worthy of love and nourishment—period. There's no arguing, no bargaining about that."

"Comfort isn't the goal. Freedom is the goal."

"Your body deserves consistent fuel. What would I tell my daughter, my best friend, you over coffee? I would never tell you that you can't have that coffee because there's cream in it."

"Is this decision coming from a place of fear or a place of love? If it's fear, pluck that thought."

"God's grace is built from abundance. Your identity is something larger than the vessel that you came here with."

Key Questions for Reflection
  • What am I believing that is false?
  • What do I know is true when I'm feeling I don't deserve nourishment?
  • What rules am I following that I need to break?
  • Am I making this decision out of fear or out of love?
  • What does my body deserve right now?
About This Episode

This conversation was originally recorded as a guest appearance on Brittany Braswell's podcast, Faith-Filled Food Freedom. Adapted and shared with the Her Best Self Podcast community because the message was too powerful not to share with you.

Resources & Links Join The Recovery Collective

Ready to break free from the restrict-binge cycle for good? The Recovery Collective is Lindsey Nichol's signature group support program where you'll get the support, strategies, and community you need to finally find freedom.

Inside The Recovery Collective, you'll receive:

  • Every other week group coaching calls with Lindsey 
  • A proven framework to break disordered eating patterns
  • A supportive community of women on the same journey
  • Practical tools and resources for lasting recovery
  • Biblical foundation for healing your relationship with food and body

Learn more and join The Recovery Collective at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  

Connect with Lindsey Nichol Connect with Brittany Braswell

Check out Faith-Filled Food Freedom podcast for more faith-based nutrition and food freedom content at www.brittanybraswellrd.com 

___________________________

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 244.5: How to Use Distraction as a Healing Tool ~ Healthy Coping Strategies for Eating Disorder Recovery **Must Listen Fav!**07 oct. 202500:17:01

In this powerful episode, host Lindsey Nichol explores the dual nature of distraction in eating disorder recovery—how it can either support your healing journey or keep you trapped in unhealthy patterns. Drawing wisdom from Proverbs, Lindsey breaks down when distraction becomes a helpful tool versus when it's a form of avoidance that prevents true recovery.

What You'll Learn
  • The two faces of distraction: Understanding when distraction works for you versus against you in recovery
  • Identifying unhealthy distractions: Recognizing when you're using circumstances, people, or timing as excuses to deprioritize your healing
  • Strategic distraction techniques: Practical ways to interrupt urges for compulsive exercise, body checking, restrictive eating, and other disordered behaviors
  • The "Stop, Drop, and Go" method: How to immediately shift your environment when triggering urges arise
  • Questions for self-reflection: What your soul, body, and mind truly need in this moment
Key Takeaways

✨ Distraction can be leveraged temporarily to prevent unhealthy actions—like reaching out to support, journaling, changing your environment, or having a dance party

✨ Unhealthy distraction looks like telling yourself "now isn't the right time" or using life circumstances to avoid recovery work

✨ Common urges to distract from include: compulsive exercise, repetitive safe foods, body checking in mirrors, scale obsession, and other OCD-like behaviors

✨ The "messy middle" of recovery is normal—that awkward phase where you're better than before but haven't fully arrived

✨ Important questions to ask yourself: How can I honor myself right now? What does my soul need? What does my body need? What does my mind need?

Episode Quotes

"Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life. Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you." - Proverbs

"Nothing good, including progress, occurs when you're confused or when you're completely sidetracked."

"If today is not a good day for this, then when is going to be a good day to put yourself first, to put your health first?"

"A distraction is simply a thing that prevents you from giving your complete attention to something else."

Healthy Distraction Ideas Mentioned
  • Reaching out to your support person (friend, family, coach, therapist)
  • Leaving the triggering environment immediately
  • Journaling and reflection
  • Self-care and pampering activities
  • Getting fresh air (sitting on a park bench, going outside)
  • Dancing to music on blast
  • Household activities (vacuuming, organizing)
  • Spending quality time with loved ones
  • Watching comforting shows with cozy blankets
  • Reading Scripture or inspirational material
Resources Mentioned Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💝 Rate and review to help more perfectionists find freedom 💝 Share with a friend who's stuck in the perfection trap 💝 Join the Facebook community for recovery hugs and support 💝 Apply for 1:1 coaching if you're ready for personalized guidance

Special Announcements:

🎉 Subscribe to the email list at www.herbestself.co to get your free recovery journal download 🎉 Free FB Community at www.herbestselfsociety.com 

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 244: Quit Body Checking & Food Obsessing with My Go-To 3 Question Ritual That Takes Under 5 Minutes03 oct. 202500:18:29

Tired of waking up in reaction mode—immediately checking your body, obsessing over yesterday’s food choices, or spiraling into anxiety about what you’ll eat today? You’re not alone, and there’s a better way. In this episode, I’m sharing the exact 3-question ritual that helped me break free from the constant body checking and food obsession that kept me stuck in my eating disorder. This practice takes less than 5 minutes but will completely shift how you start your day—from reaction mode to intention mode. You’ll discover: - Why living in reaction mode keeps you trapped in your eating disorder’s grip - The neuroscience behind why this simple ritual actually works to rewire your brain - The 3 powerful questions I use every morning (and whenever I’m triggered) - How to shift from avoidance motivation to approach motivation in recovery - Specific examples of how to apply each question to eating disorder recovery - Why gratitude isn’t just “toxic positivity” when done right If you’re ready to stop giving your eating disorder the power to dictate your entire day, this quick win is for you. -----  **The 3-Question Ritual:** 1. What am I grateful for? (Look for evidence of goodness and progress) 1. What am I focused on gaining? (Move toward something, not away from fear) 1. What am I choosing to release? (Let go of what’s weighing you down)  **From Reaction to Intention:** Your eating disorder thrives when you’re reactive. Intention gives you back your power.  **Approach vs. Avoidance:** Research shows you’re significantly more likely to succeed when you focus on what you’re moving toward (freedom, energy, peace) rather than what you’re running from (weight gain, judgment, discomfort).  **Start Small:** On hard days, “I’m grateful I woke up today” is enough. Progress over perfection, always. ----- Resources Mentioned: - **The Recovery Collective:** Bi-weekly community calls where we practice living recovery with intention together. Founding member pricing: $47/month for the first 6 months. Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  ----- Action Steps:  **Grab your journal and answer these three questions right now:** 1. What are 3 things I’m grateful for? (At least one recovery-related) 1. What am I focused on gaining this week in my recovery? 1. What am I choosing to release today?  **Commit to asking yourself these questions every morning this week** and notice how it shifts your day  **Next time you catch yourself body checking or food obsessing,** pause and run through the 3 questions to ground yourself back in intention ----- Quotes from This Episode: *“Your eating disorder loves when you’re reactive—it feeds off your panic, your fear, your overwhelm. But when you start with intention, you take that power back.”* *“You can’t gain what you want while holding onto everything from your past. You can’t move forward while gripping tightly to old beliefs, old behaviors, old versions of yourself.”* *“When you’re living with intention instead of reaction, recovery becomes something you’re actively creating rather than something you’re just trying to survive.”* *“We’re not white-knuckling our way through recovery anymore. We’re intentionally choosing what we want to gain.”* *“Recovery is so much sweeter when you’re not white-knuckling it by yourself.”*

Connect with Lindsey Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💝 Rate and review to help more perfectionists find freedom 💝 Share with a friend who's stuck in the perfection trap 💝 Join the Facebook community for recovery hugs and support 💝 Apply for 1:1 coaching if you're ready for personalized guidance

Special Announcements:

🎉 Subscribe to the email list at www.herbestself.co to get your free recovery journal download 🎉 Free FB Community at www.herbestselfsociety.com 

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 243: Stop Measuring Recovery Like an A-Student (What Success Really Means) + How to Overcome Perfectionism30 sept. 202500:14:50

What does success really mean in recovery? In this powerful solo episode, Lindsey gets real about perfectionism, the fear of success vs. fear of failure, and why trying to be an "A-student" at recovery keeps you stuck. If you've ever felt like you're not trying hard enough, not far enough along, or wondered what life would look like if you actually succeeded at recovery - this episode is for you.

Discover why traditional definitions of success are keeping you trapped and learn a new perspective that will transform how you approach your recovery journey.

Key Topics Covered:

⚡ The perfectionist's dilemma: Why wanting recovery to be flawless keeps you stuck ⚡ Two types of fear: Fear of failure vs. fear of success in recovery ⚡ Redefining success: From what you accomplish to who you become ⚡ The pressure of "A-student recovery": Why this mindset leads to relapse ⚡ Surrender and empowerment: Research on how letting go creates better outcomes ⚡ Daily choices over gold medals: Success when no one is watching

The Two Fears That Keep You Stuck: Fear of Failure
  • "What if I don't recover?"
  • "What if this is just who I am?"
  • Staying in denial feels safer because you can't fail if you stay stuck
  • Believing you'll never be successful at recovery, so why try?
Fear of Success
  • "What if I do recover? Then what?"
  • "What would it mean for my life if I quit playing small?"
  • "What would it mean if I fully surrendered knowing it didn't need to be perfect?"
  • Fear of the unknown person you'll become without your eating disorder
Redefining Success: Traditional (False) Definition:
  • Professional achievements and career advancement
  • Material worth and financial status
  • Luxurious lifestyle and social media image
  • Social status, influence, and popularity
  • Body image and physical appearance
True Definition of Success:

Success = Who you become in the process, not what you accomplish

Success equals:

  • Growth of character
  • Developing skills and wisdom
  • Growing in faith
  • Constant growth leading to happiness and contentment
  • Becoming your best self
Powerful Questions for Self-Reflection:

🤔 Where do I spend my time and energy?

  • Inner focused (to be better) or outer focused (to look better)?

🤔 Am I putting one foot in front of the other?

  • Growing character and fostering positive changes?
  • Isn't that success?

🤔 What would success look like if I lived in accordance with:

  • My core values
  • Resilience
  • Grace
  • Balance
  • Faith

🤔 Am I being honest to myself and others?

  • Or am I consumed by what other people think?

🤔 Am I contributing to the world or being consumed by it?

Key Insights from This Episode:

💡 "Success doesn't equal full recovery - success equals your best self"

💡 "You don't get a PhD for healing - there's no 'better' way to heal than anyone else"

💡 "The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect"

💡 "You weren't called to be perfect - you're just called to be better"

💡 "The more you surrender and let be, the higher you rise"

💡 "If you thought you're not gonna fail because you're just gonna keep going until you arrive, it takes the pressure off"

Research Highlights:

📊 Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology: Individuals who surrendered to God or a higher power in recovery had increased feelings of personal empowerment and happiness

📊 Addiction Sciences and Clinical Practice: Surrender was associated with the highest positive recovery outcomes

The Reality Check:

✨ You don't get applause for daily recovery choices ✨ There's no gold medal for healing ✨ Success is in the daily choices when no one is watching ✨ You're allowed to be perfectly flawed ✨ Constant growth leads to happiness and contentment ✨ The eating disorder doesn't know what to do when you surrender control

From One Client's Story:

A client came to Lindsey after a "bad day" expecting judgment. Instead, Lindsey asked:

"Do you want me to sit in that pity party with you, or do you want me to ask: Where do we go from here? What's next?"

The client's response: "You're right. I need to put this down. Tomorrow's a new day. I need to surrender this."

This is true for you too.

Moving Forward:

Stop driving for perfection - it simply doesn't exist Embrace mistakes - they're where momentum comes from Measure small wins - daily progress over perfection Surrender control - to gain ultimate control, courage, acceptance, and trust Focus inward - character growth over external validation

Ready for Community Support? Join The Recovery Collective!

If you're tired of trying to be perfect at recovery, if you're caught between fear of failure and fear of success, if you want support from women who understand the pressure of high-performing perfectionism - The Recovery Collective is for you.

What You'll Find:

  • Bi-weekly 60-minute group coaching calls via Zoom
  • Safe space of women who understand perfectionist struggles
  • Permission to be imperfect in your recovery journey
  • Support for navigating the "messy middle" of recovery
  • Community that celebrates character growth over achievement

Special Founding Member Pricing:

  • First 10 members: $47/month (over 50% off!)
  • Regular membership: $97/month

Recovery doesn't require perfection - it requires showing up. Let's show up together.

Ready to join? Visit www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective for more information

Connect with Lindsey Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💝 Rate and review to help more perfectionists find freedom 💝 Share with a friend who's stuck in the perfection trap 💝 Join the Facebook community for recovery hugs and support 💝 Apply for 1:1 coaching if you're ready for personalized guidance

Special Announcements:

🎉 Upcoming this fall: Masterclass, giveaways, and exciting new offerings 🎉 Subscribe to the email list at www.herbestself.co to get first access 🎉 Free FB Community at www.herbestselfsociety.com 

If You're Reading This and Struggling:

You don't have to be perfect at recovery. You don't have to check all the boxes. You don't have to be further along than you are.

Success is showing up today, even when yesterday was hard. Success is choosing growth over perfection. Success is becoming who you're meant to be, not achieving some impossible standard.

You are worthy. You are strong. You are perfectly capable right now, today, to lean into the biggest struggle of your life.

Consider this your virtual hug from Lindsey. You've got this, beautiful.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 242: Practical Meal Planning Tips & Tricks to Lessen Stress & Reduce Food Anxiety ~ HBS Interview With Dietitian Brittany Braswell26 sept. 202500:34:31

In this powerful interview, Lindsey sits down with Brittany Braswell, a registered dietitian, food freedom coach, and host of Faith-Filled Food Freedom podcast. Brittany shares her unique approach to eating disorder recovery that integrates evidence-based nutrition with Christian faith, creating lasting transformation for women struggling with food guilt and body shame.

In this episode you will discover practical strategies for menu planning without restriction, overcoming fear foods, and why having a strong faith foundation accelerates recovery progress.

This episode is perfect for: Christian women in eating disorder recovery, anyone struggling with meal planning anxiety, and those seeking faith-based approaches to food freedom.

Meet Brittany Braswell:

🎓 Registered Dietitian with 12+ years experience 🎤 Public Speaker and Podcast Host of Faith-Filled Food Freedom 💝 Specializes in: Food freedom and body image coaching for Christian women 🏡 Life: Wife and mom of three in small-town Alabama ✨ Mission: Helping women break free from food guilt and body shame through Christ-centered coaching

Key Topics Covered: Brittany's Journey to Food Freedom
  • How traditional nutrition education created food polarization
  • Discovering the connection between restrictive teaching and client struggles
  • Working in eating disorder treatment centers and seeing faith's impact
  • Why evidence-based recovery + faith = faster, sustained progress
The Power of Faith in Recovery
  • Why bodies created by God respond better when we trust His design
  • How faith provides a solid foundation vs. carrying recovery weight alone
  • Breaking free from "A-student recovery" perfectionism
  • Using truth to combat eating disorder lies
Menu Planning vs. Meal Plans
  • Meal Plans: Structured like a cast - helpful for stability during healing
  • Menu Planning: Flexible approach focusing on available ingredients
  • When to transition from rigid structure to intuitive flexibility
  • Brittany's $5 menu board system for decision fatigue
Practical Strategies Shared: Quick 5-Minute Meal Formula

Brittany's Go-To Mexican Bowl:

  • Canned black beans (protein)
  • Microwaveable rice pouch
  • Salsa for seasoning
  • Shredded cheese
  • Optional: pre-cooked shredded chicken from freezer
Menu Planning Made Simple
  • Create a "par stock" list of always-available ingredients
  • Plan 3-4 flexible meals per week
  • Use visual menu board with clip-on recipe cards
  • Build in backup options for exhausting days
  • Prep shredded chicken in bulk for quick protein
Overcoming Fear Foods
  • Get education about feared nutrients (challenge the lies)
  • Use accountability - eat with others when possible
  • Categorize fears: least scary → moderately scary → terrifying
  • Start with least scary foods first
  • Rename trigger words (carbs = "components" or "cactuses")
Powerful Insights:

💡 "Our bodies were created by the Lord, so He knows them better than we do"

💡 "Clients who integrated faith made progress faster and sustained it longer"

💡 "You don't have to do recovery like an A-student - there's no perfect way"

💡 "Having a plan doesn't mean you can't be intuitive - it means ingredients are available when cravings hit"

💡 "Everything will feel scary first when incorporating new foods"

Brittany's Definition of "Best Self":

"Having total peace about saying no and setting boundaries"

  • Learning that "no" is a complete sentence
  • Prioritizing values over people-pleasing
  • Creating margin in calendar to avoid anxiety and rushing
  • Protecting time with family and serving clients authentically
Why Faith + Nutrition Works:

✅ Provides solid foundation beyond personal willpower ✅ Offers truth to combat eating disorder lies ✅ Reduces pressure of carrying recovery weight alone ✅ Creates sustainable progress vs. white-knuckling ✅ Addresses identity and worth at the core level ✅ Prevents relapse behaviors from perfectionist pressure

For Christian Women in Recovery:

🙏 Your faith matters in your food freedom journey 🙏 God designed your body and knows what it needs 🙏 Recovery doesn't have to be perfect - grace covers the messy middle 🙏 Community and accountability accelerate healing 🙏 Your identity is in Christ not in food control or body size 🙏 Boundaries are biblical and necessary for wholeness

Connect with Brittany Braswell:

🎧 Podcast: Faith-Filled Food Freedom (wherever you listen to podcasts) 🌐 Website: www.brittanybraswellrd.com 📚 Free Resources: www.brittanybraswellrd.com/herbestself  

Free Resources Mentioned:

Visit www.brittanybraswellrd.com/herbestself for:

  • Simple menu planning strategies without restriction
  • Guilt-free meal planning guides
  • Related podcast episodes
  • Faith-based recovery resources
Key Takeaways:

✨ Menu planning can support intuitive eating when done flexibly ✨ Faith provides the foundation recovery needs to be sustainable ✨ Fear foods become manageable with education and gradual exposure ✨ Quick meal strategies prevent eating disorder thoughts from winning ✨ Accountability accelerates progress in recovery ✨ Boundaries protect your recovery and honor your values ✨ You don't have to be perfect at recovery to be successful

For Supporters and Family:

Understanding that:

  • Recovery looks different when faith is integrated
  • Meal planning helps reduce decision fatigue
  • Supporting flexible eating is more helpful than food policing
  • Accountability can look like simply eating together
  • Faith-based recovery often progresses faster
Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💕 Rate and review to help more women find faith-based recovery content 💕 Share with a friend who's struggling with food and faith integration 💕 Follow Brittany's podcast Faith-Filled Food Freedom 💕 Connect in comments about your biggest takeaway

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

EP 241: After 10+ Years of Fighting ~ The Missing Piece in Your Recovery Journey + What You May Need Beyond Therapy23 sept. 202500:18:04

If you've been fighting eating disorder recovery for 10, 20, or even 40+ years, this episode is specifically for you. You've probably been to therapy, worked with dietitians, read all the books, and know more about nutrition than most professionals - but you're still struggling. Why?

In this deeply personal episode, I'm sharing real stories from women who've been in this battle for decades and revealing the missing piece that most traditional treatment approaches overlook. Plus, I'm introducing something I've been dreaming about for months that goes beyond individual therapy to address what your recovery journey might actually need.

If you've ever thought "I should be over this by now" or "I can't keep doing this alone," this episode will remind you that you're not broken - you just might need a different approach.

What You'll Learn:
  • Why traditional therapy alone often isn't enough for lasting recovery
  • Real testimonials from women who've fought this battle for 20-40+ years
  • The missing component that research shows predicts recovery success
  • Why your recovery journey needs both professional support AND peer community
  • What to do when you feel stuck despite having all the "right" tools
  • A new approach that addresses the isolation eating disorders create
This Episode is For You If:
  • You've been struggling with disordered eating for 10+ years
  • You've done therapy but still feel stuck in patterns
  • You feel like you "should be better by now"
  • You're tired of fighting this battle alone
  • You want to try a community-based approach to recovery
  • You're ready to go beyond traditional treatment methods
  • You feel isolated in your recovery journey
Key Quotes from This Episode:

"You probably know more about nutrition than most dietitians. The missing piece isn't more information - it's support and community."

"Isolation is eating disorder fuel, and support and community is recovery fuel."

"Research shows us that peer support - connecting with others who truly understand your experience - is one of the most powerful predictors of lasting recovery."

"You were never meant to do recovery alone."

Client Stories Featured:
  • The mom who's been fighting anorexia for years and wants to model recovery for her daughter
  • The woman who's been in "remission" before but found herself back in the "mental prison"
  • The client who said "I cannot do this alone" and rated her urgency for change as 10/10
What's Announced in This Episode:

The Recovery Collective - A bi-weekly virtual support group for women in eating disorder recovery

What it includes:

  • Bi-weekly 60-minute Zoom calls with 10-15 women maximum
  • Safe space to share wins, challenges, and real recovery life
  • Professional guidance combined with peer support
  • Optional check-in prompts and private community chat
  • For women at ANY stage of recovery

Founding Member Special:

  • Only 10 founding member spots available
  • Special pricing: $47/month for first 6 months (less than $1.50/day)
  • Regular pricing: $97/month after founding period
  • First session: Early October 2025
  • Help shape the community from the beginning
Why This Goes Beyond Therapy:
  • Therapy focuses on individual healing - community provides ongoing support
  • Therapy happens weekly - community offers real-time encouragement
  • Therapy addresses past trauma - community helps navigate daily recovery
  • Therapy is professional support - community offers peer understanding
  • Therapy has an end date - community provides long-term connection

Note: The Recovery Collective is designed to complement, not replace, professional treatment.

Take Action:

Ready to find your recovery family? Apply to become a founding member of The Recovery Collective at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

The process just takes a few minutes and could be the step that changes everything for your recovery journey.

Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

EP 240: How to Overcome "Never Enough" Thoughts in Your Recovery Journey + The Pep Talk You Need to Break Free From Shame📍19 sept. 202500:13:27

If you've been struggling with feeling like you're not good enough, constantly falling short, or carrying the weight of perfectionism on your shoulders, this episode is your gentle reminder that you are already enough. Host Lindsey Nichol shares a heartfelt message about breaking free from the shame cycle that keeps us trapped in eating disorder patterns and perfectionist thinking.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:
  • Why the "never enough" feeling is a common trap in eating disorder recovery
  • How to identify where your perfectionist beliefs originated
  • The difference between feelings and facts when it comes to self-worth
  • Why getting thinner will never make you feel "enough"
  • Practical steps to challenge your "not enough" beliefs
  • How to find evidence of your inherent worth
Key Takeaways:

✨ You don't need to weigh yourself to determine your worth ✨ Feelings aren't facts - the fact is you are enough ✨ You can't hate yourself into a version you'll love ✨ Stop trying to be enough - you already are

Action Steps:
  1. Dig into the why: When did you first start feeling "not enough"?
  2. Label the evidence: What data proves you ARE enough?
  3. Define enough: What would "enough" actually look like in your life?
  4. Challenge the belief: Is perfectionism actually helping you?
Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 239.5:  From Trauma to Triumph ~ 6 Things Your Past Can Teach You **Must Listen Fav!**16 sept. 202500:16:54

In this powerful episode, Lindsey gets vulnerable about the connection between trauma and eating disorders, sharing why sometimes it's okay to look at our past to catapult us into our future. If you've experienced trauma and are wondering how it connects to your eating disorder, this episode will provide hope, healing insights, and practical steps forward.

Discover the 6 essential things to remember about your past that can transform your recovery journey and help you move from survival to thriving.

Note: This episode addresses sensitive topics around trauma. Lindsey emphasizes that as a recovery coach, she focuses on the here and now of recovery, while encouraging professional therapy support for trauma processing.

Key Topics Covered:

💔 The trauma-eating disorder connection: Why 81% of people with eating disorders have experienced trauma

🧠 Understanding trauma types: Acute vs. chronic trauma and how it relates to ED development

🛡️ Eating disorders as coping mechanisms: How restriction becomes a false sense of control

🌅 6 powerful reminders about your past that can transform your recovery journey

🕊️ The role of forgiveness in healing and moving forward

💪 Why your deepest pain can become your greatest triumph

Shocking Statistics Revealed:

📊 25% of those with eating disorders also meet criteria for PTSD

📊 81% of people with eating disorders had at least one traumatic experience

📊 68% experienced trauma before any eating disorder symptoms appeared

These numbers show you're not alone and that the connection between trauma and eating disorders is real and valid.

Common Traumas Associated with Eating Disorders:

⚡ Childhood abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) ⚡ Bullying or social ostracism ⚡ Body shaming and weight stigma ⚡ Loss and grief experiences ⚡ Accidents or medical trauma ⚡ Intergenerational or cultural traumatic events

Remember: Trauma is subjective - what's traumatic for one person may not be for another, and that's completely valid.

6 Things to Remember About Your Past: 1. Your Past Doesn't Exist Anymore
  • Healing isn't linear - good and bad days are normal
  • Some days it may feel real, but it's no longer your current reality
  • Progress includes setbacks, and that's part of the process
2. Your Past Doesn't Define You
  • Your experiences shape you but don't determine your worth
  • You hold the power to grow, evolve, and change
  • Only you have the key to become who you want to be
3. Your Past Can Only Serve as a Teacher
  • All emotions about your past are valid
  • There's no "right way" to feel about past experiences
  • What matters is what you do next with that knowledge
4. Your Past Doesn't Have to Block Your Future
  • Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness
  • You can reinvent and recreate yourself
  • No matter how many times you've tried recovery, you can start again
5. Holding On May Lead to Reliving
  • Your wound is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility
  • Memories can be imperfect, especially trauma memories
  • Holding on keeps you stuck in the struggle
6. Your Past Self Deserves Love and Forgiveness
  • You did the best you could at the time
  • Don't judge your past self with current wisdom
  • You're not damaged or broken - you're worthy of healing
Key Insights About Trauma and Eating Disorders:

🔍 Eating disorders as control: When the world feels chaotic, restricting food can feel like the one thing you can control

🔍 Numbing mechanism: ED behaviors often serve to numb overwhelming emotions from traumatic experiences

🔍 False sense of safety: The eating disorder creates an illusion of control and perfection

🔍 Survival strategy: You turned to these behaviors because you needed to survive in that moment

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:

💭 "The deepest, hardest, darkest pain you've been through is most often what's going to catapult you into your highest, best, and truest version of yourself."

💭 "Your wound is not your fault, but your healing is most certainly your responsibility."

💭 "You do not need to judge your past self with your current wisdom."

💭 "You now know better, so you can now do better."

💭 "You aren't damaged. You're not broken. Nothing needs to be fixed, including your body."

Important Reminders:

✨ Trauma-informed care is crucial for eating disorder recovery ✨ Professional therapy support is essential for processing trauma ✨ Recovery coaching focuses on the here and now, not digging up past trauma ✨ Forgiveness is part of the healing equation ✨ You're worthy of a life free from pain, regardless of your past

Questions for Self-Reflection:

🤔 What am I holding onto and why? 🤔 What can be released from my past? 🤔 What needs to be forgiven? 🤔 How can my past serve as a teacher rather than a prison? 🤔 What version of myself am I ready to let go of?

Ready for Support? Work with Lindsey:

If you're ready for accountability, support, and freedom from your eating disorder, and you're done playing small, Lindsey would love to connect with you.

Next Steps:

  • Visit www.herbestself.co  to fill out a client application
  • See if you're a good fit for 1:1 recovery coaching
  • Get support focusing on the here and now of recovery

What You'll Get:

  • Practical recovery strategies that work
  • Accountability from someone who's been there
  • Focus on present-moment healing and future growth
  • Support from a recovered anorexic turned recovery coach
Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Private Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  🌟 Email List: Join at www.herbestself.co for upcoming announcements about new services

Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💕 Rate and review the podcast to help more women find freedom 💕 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear about trauma healing 💕 Join the private Facebook community for ongoing support 💕 Connect on social media and let Lindsey know how this impacted you

Special Announcement:

🎉 Podcast Anniversary Coming! Her Best Self Podcast anniversary is 10/10 - don't miss out on joining the Recovery Collective! You can find more details on how you can join our special support group for women here: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

If You're Struggling with Trauma and Recovery Today:

Remember that whatever you've experienced, whatever trauma you're carrying, you're still worthy of a life free from pain. Your past has served a purpose, but it doesn't have to define where you're going.

You have the power to take what you've learned and use it to catapult yourself into your highest and best self. Your healing journey matters, and you deserve nothing less than complete freedom.

 

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 239: "Am I Eating Too Much?" ~ Understanding Extreme Hunger (What's Really Happening in Your Body & How To Cope)12 sept. 202500:22:39

Are you experiencing intense hunger in recovery and wondering if something is wrong? Feeling like you can't get full no matter how much you eat? In this essential episode, Lindsey breaks down everything you need to know about extreme hunger in eating disorder recovery - why it happens, what it looks like, and most importantly, that it's completely normal and necessary for healing.

Whether you're early in recovery or experiencing hunger waves after years of healing, this episode will help you understand your body's wisdom and navigate this phase with self-compassion instead of fear.

Today's Truth: Extreme hunger is your body's way of healing and honoring it is one of the bravest things you can do in recovery.

Key Topics Covered:

🍽️ What extreme hunger actually is - The different types and what they feel like in your body

🧠 Why extreme hunger happens - The science behind your body's need for extra nourishment

⏰ When it can occur - Early recovery, years later, or anytime your body needs healing

🚫 Myth-busting - Why extreme hunger isn't binge eating and doesn't mean you'll "blow up"

💪 Practical coping strategies - How to navigate extreme hunger with confidence and self-compassion

🤝 Dealing with others - How to handle comments from people who don't understand recovery

Types of Extreme Hunger Explained:

🔹 Mechanical Hunger: Physical growling, gnawing sensations, feeling like a bottomless pit

🔹 Mental Hunger: Obsessive food thoughts, inability to concentrate on anything but eating

🔹 Reactive Eating: Eating large amounts quickly, especially previously restricted foods

🔹 Primal Hunger: Desperate, urgent need to eat that feels impossible to ignore

What this might look like:

  • Eating a full meal and feeling hungry immediately after
  • Waking up hungry in the middle of the night
  • Needing snacks every hour
  • Intense cravings for calorie-dense foods

Remember: All of this is your body's wisdom in action.

Why Extreme Hunger Happens:

✅ Metabolic restoration - Your metabolism needs extra energy to speed back up to normal levels

✅ Physical repair - Your body is repairing damage to organs, bones, hair, skin, and tissues

✅ Replenishing stores - Restoring depleted fat stores, glycogen, and energy reserves

✅ Trust building - Your body needs to learn that food will be consistently available

Key insight: Extreme hunger can happen at ANY stage of recovery - sometimes years later when your body feels safe enough to ask for what it really needs.

Myths About Extreme Hunger (DEBUNKED):

❌ Myth: "Everyone experiences extreme hunger in recovery" ✅ Truth: Not everyone does, and that's okay - every body is different

❌ Myth: "Extreme hunger is bad or means something is wrong" ✅ Truth: It's your body's intelligence and healing in action

❌ Myth: "Extreme hunger means you're binge eating" ✅ Truth: This is biological necessity, not psychological binge eating

❌ Myth: "If you honor it, you'll gain too much weight" ✅ Truth: Your body will settle at its natural weight when fully nourished

Practical Coping Strategies:

🌟 Honor Your Hunger - Eat when hungry, as much as you're hungry for, whatever you're craving

🌟 Challenge ED Voice - Replace "This is too much" with "My body is healing"

🌟 Don't Compensate - No extra exercise, meal skipping, or restricting the next day

🌟 Include All Foods - Your body often craves calorie-dense foods for important reasons

🌟 Practice Self-Compassion - Remember your "why" and thank your body for its wisdom

🌟 Handle Outside Comments - You don't owe explanations for nourishing your body

🌟 Remember It's Temporary - Extreme hunger normalizes as your body heals and trusts

Signs Hunger Is Normalizing:

✨ Hunger cues become more predictable ✨ You can go longer between meals comfortably ✨ Food thoughts become less obsessive ✨ You naturally desire a variety of foods ✨ Physical hunger matches mental satisfaction

Key Takeaways:

💝 Your hunger is not your enemy - It's your body's wisdom guiding your healing

💝 This is normal and necessary - Extreme hunger is part of recovery, not a sign of failure

💝 Trust your body - It knows exactly what it needs to heal, even when it feels scary

💝 You're not binge eating - This is biological necessity driven by your body's needs

💝 It's temporary - Hunger will normalize as your body heals and learns to trust

💝 You don't need to justify nourishing yourself - To anyone, ever

For Those Supporting Someone in Recovery:

What NOT to say:

  • "Are you sure you're still hungry?"
  • "That seems like a lot of food"
  • "You just ate an hour ago"

What TO say:

  • "I'm proud of you for nourishing your body"
  • "Your body knows what it needs"
  • "I'm here to support you"
Ready for Community Support? Join The Recovery Collective!

Finally, a recovery community that normalizes experiences like extreme hunger.

If this episode resonated with you, you're exactly who The Recovery Collective was created for. This is where women in all phases of eating disorder recovery come together every other week to normalize confusing experiences like extreme hunger, support each other through scary phases, and celebrate victories along the way.

What You Get:

  • Bi-weekly 60-minute group coaching calls via Zoom
  • Safe, judgment-free space with 10-15 women maximum
  • Real-time support for whatever recovery phase you're experiencing
  • Community of women who understand what it's like to question your hunger
  • Practical guidance from someone who's navigated extreme hunger herself

Special Founding Member Pricing:

  • First 10 members: $47/month for 6 months (over 50% off!)
  • Regular membership: $97/month
  • Less than what you spend on groceries for bi-weekly coaching and community support

Imagine having a safe space where you could share that you're experiencing extreme hunger and receive understanding and practical support instead of judgment or confusion.

Your body's wisdom deserves to be celebrated, not questioned.

Ready to learn more? Join us in the collective! www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

 

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Experiencing Extreme Hunger Right Now? Remember:

Your hunger is not your enemy. Your body is not trying to trick you or hurt you. When extreme hunger shows up, it's your body saying "I trust you enough now to ask for what I really need."

Honor that trust. Honor that hunger. Honor that incredibly wise body of yours that's working so hard to heal.

You deserve nourishment, you deserve recovery, and you deserve to trust your body's wisdom. Progress over perfection, always.

EP 238: The Truth About Recovering from an Eating Disorder Alone vs. in Community + Why I Wish I'd Had a Support Group Sooner09 sept. 202500:21:18

Have you ever felt completely alone in your eating disorder recovery? Like you're the only one dealing with food thoughts, body image struggles, and the exhaustion of pretending you're "fine"? In this vulnerable episode, Lindsey shares her personal story of trying to recover mostly in isolation and why she's now passionate about creating healing communities for women.

Discover the research-backed reasons why community isn't just nice to have in recovery—it's essential. Plus, learn about The Recovery Collective, a new support group launching in October 2025 specifically for women in eating disorder recovery.

Today's Truth: You were never meant to heal alone, and community isn't just nice to have in recovery - it's essential.

Key Topics Covered:

🤝 Lindsey's personal story: What it felt like to recover mostly alone with limited community support

🧠 The science behind community healing: Research-backed evidence of why support groups transform recovery

💔 The isolation trap: How eating disorders thrive in secrecy and why healing alone is harder than it needs to be

✨ What community provides: Normalization, accountability, shared wisdom, and hope

🌟 The Recovery Collective: A new support group launching October 2024 for women in all phases of recovery

Research Highlights:

📊 Support groups reduce symptoms: Studies show support groups helped reduce post-meal distress in young people with anorexia and can prevent disordered eating

📊 Connection drives recovery: Research confirms that eating disorder recovery is largely influenced by the individual's sense of connection to self and others

📊 Isolation increases struggle: When socially isolated, you lack the support and connection that can help protect against negative self-perception and low self-esteem

📊 Community decreases stigma: Eating disorder support groups offer safe spaces that decrease isolation and stigma while increasing engagement and motivation

📊 29 million affected: Nearly 30 million Americans will experience an eating disorder at some point during their lifetime

What Community Provides in Recovery:

💬 Language for your experience - Finally having words for what you're going through instead of feeling "crazy"

🔍 Perspective and reality checks - Others who can distinguish between your eating disorder voice and your true self

💕 Accountability that feels like love - Gentle support that comes from care, not judgment

🌈 Proof that recovery is possible - Seeing women further along in recovery living free, vibrant lives

🛡️ Protection against isolation - Regular connection that prevents the dangerous spiral of being alone with ED thoughts

🎯 Practical wisdom - Real-life strategies from women who've faced similar challenges

Key Takeaways:

✨ You don't have to heal alone - Recovery was never meant to be a solo journey

✨ Community isn't replacement for therapy - It's the ongoing support that helps you live your recovery, not just survive it

✨ The right kind of community matters - Led by someone with lived experience who understands both clinical and personal aspects

✨ Consistency is crucial - Regular, ongoing support rather than crisis-only intervention

✨ Isolation fuels eating disorders - Breaking the cycle of secrecy and shame is essential for healing

Introducing The Recovery Collective (Launching October 2025!)

Finally, a recovery community that truly gets it.

The Recovery Collective is where women in all phases of eating disorder recovery come together every other week to lock arms, share real struggles, and heal together in a safe, supportive environment.

What You Get:

  • Bi-weekly 60-minute group coaching calls via Zoom
  • Intimate community of 10-15 women maximum
  • Real, honest conversations that create actual change
  • Support for navigating triggers, celebrating wins, and handling difficult days
  • Led by someone who's walked this path and understands the lived experience
  • Ongoing support to help you live your recovery, not just survive it

What Makes This Different:

  • Led by someone with personal eating disorder recovery experience
  • Focus on practical, real-life recovery challenges
  • Community of women who truly understand the struggle
  • Consistent, ongoing support (not just crisis intervention)
  • Safe space free from judgment or competition

Special Founding Member Pricing:

  • First 10 members: $47/month for 6 months (over 50% off!)
  • Regular membership: $97/month
  • Less than what you spend on takeout for bi-weekly coaching and community support

Who This Is For:

  • Women in all phases of eating disorder recovery
  • Those tired of feeling alone in their healing journey
  • Anyone seeking understanding from others who've been there
  • Women ready for ongoing support, not just weekly therapy appointments

Recovery is possible, and it's so much sweeter when you're not doing it alone.

Ready to learn more? www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you identify the core beliefs feeding your eating disorder, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Love this episode? Here's how you can support:

💕 Share it with a woman who's feeling alone in her recovery journey 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts to help other women find hope and community 💕Reach out if you're interested in The Recovery Collective founding member spots

Feeling Isolated in Your Recovery? Remember:

You were never designed to heal alone. The exhaustion you feel from battling thoughts by yourself, the loneliness of feeling like no one understands - that's not how recovery has to be. Community changes everything, and you deserve to be seen, heard, and valued in your healing journey.

Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you recover alone. Healing is meant to happen in relationship, with support, and with women who can look you in the eye and say "I've been there too, and you're going to be okay."

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

 

EP 237: Do I Still Have Bad Body Image Days? (The Honest Truth) + My 8 Step Bad Body Image Toolkit05 sept. 202500:18:07

What does recovery actually look like years later? Do bad body image days ever completely disappear? In this vulnerable episode, Lindsey pulls back the curtain on her life after eating disorder recovery and shares exactly what she does when difficult body image moments show up - because yes, they still do sometimes.

If you've ever wondered what to expect from recovery or you're struggling with perfectionism around your healing journey, this episode will give you hope and practical tools you can use today.

Today's Truth: Recovery doesn't mean perfection - it means having the tools to navigate difficult moments with love instead of war.

Key Topics Covered:

🌟 The reality check: Do bad body image days ever completely stop?

🌟 Why having difficult moments doesn't mean you're "not recovered enough"

🌟 The difference between struggling in active eating disorder vs. recovery

🌟 8 practical tools for navigating bad body image days

🌟 How thoughts about your body directly impact how you feel in your body

Lindsey's 8-Step Bad Body Image Day Toolkit:

✨ Give Yourself Grace Upon Grace

  • Permission to feel without judgment
  • Talk to yourself like your best friend
  • Remember: recovery isn't about never struggling

✨ Throw on Comfy, Baggy Clothes

  • Remove physical discomfort that amplifies emotional discomfort
  • Focus on how you feel, not how clothes fit
  • This isn't hiding - it's self-care

✨ Get to the Root: What Am I Trying to Control?

  • Ask: "What's really going on here?"
  • Often body image struggles are about something else entirely
  • Address the actual issue, not just the symptom

✨ Resist Mirror-Checking Temptation

  • Avoid body-checking and analyzing
  • Body-checking always makes things worse
  • Redirect energy toward things that serve you

✨ Honor Yourself with Mindful Eating

  • Eat normally despite difficult feelings
  • Choose nourishing foods that taste good
  • Don't punish your body for emotional discomfort

✨ Notice Exercise Compulsions and Pause

  • Ask: "Am I moving from love or punishment?"
  • Choose gentle movement over intense workouts
  • It's okay to rest when you're struggling

✨ No Social Media Scrolling

  • Stay off platforms that trigger comparison
  • Protect your mental space fiercely
  • Choose books, friends, or creative activities instead

✨ Ask "How Do I Want to Feel?"

  • Shift from "How do I look?" to "How do I want to feel?"
  • Focus on strength, comfort, connection, gratitude
  • Research shows this actually changes body image in real-time
Key Takeaways:

💝 Recovery isn't about never struggling - it's about struggling with love instead of war

💝 Bad days don't mean bad weeks or months - you have tools now

💝 Your humanity doesn't disqualify your recovery - difficult moments are normal

💝 Progress over perfection, always - you're exactly where you need to be

💝 You can do hard things - including sitting with uncomfortable feelings

Research Highlight:

Studies show that when we focus on how we want to feel in our bodies rather than how we think we look, it directly impacts our actual body image experience. Our thoughts about our bodies influence how we experience being in our bodies - which means we have more power than we realize!

Ready for Community Support? Join The Recovery Collective!

Finally, a recovery community that gets it.

If this episode resonated with you, you're exactly who The Recovery Collective was created for. This is where women in all phases of eating disorder recovery come together every other week to normalize the messy parts of healing, celebrate victories, and support each other with practical tools and genuine understanding.

What You Get:

  • Bi-weekly 60-minute group coaching calls via Zoom
  • Safe, judgment-free space with 10-15 women maximum
  • Real-time support for your current recovery challenges
  • Community of women who understand what it's like to navigate recovery in real life
  • Coaching insights that help you move forward with practical strategies

Special Founding Member Pricing:

  • First 10 members: $47/month for 6 months (over 50% off!)
  • Regular membership: $97/month
  • Less than $1.50/day for bi-weekly coaching and community support

Imagine having a safe space where you could share that you're having a difficult body image day and receive understanding, practical support, and gentle reminders of your worth instead of judgment.

Recovery is possible right now, and it's so much more beautiful when we do it together.

Ready to sign up? www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

Ready for Support?

📧 Email Lindsey: info@lindseynichol.com  🌐 Apply for Recovery Coaching: www.herbestself.co  💕 Join the Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 

Limited spots available for fall coaching - only 2 slots remaining

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

 

EP 236: 7 Books Every Woman in Recovery Needs on Her Nightstand + Your Personal Invite to The Recovery Collective Support Group💕02 sept. 202500:18:26

Are you tired of self-help books that sound good but don't create real change in your recovery journey? In this episode, Lindsey shares 7 current book recommendations that she's actively using with clients and in her own healing - books that will meet you right where you are and support your next brave step toward freedom.

Whether you're just beginning to question your relationship with food and your body, or you're years into recovery and ready for that next level of freedom, there's something here for you.

Today's Truth: You deserve resources that support your healing, and recovery is possible right now....but sometimes you just need an extra boost of belief!

Books Featured in This Episode:

📚 "Feed Yourself" by Leslie Schilling

  • Perfect for healing your relationship with food from the inside out
  • Teaches intuitive eating and food freedom beyond diet culture

📚 "You're Not Enough (And That's Okay)" by Allie Stuckey

  • Challenges toxic positivity and "be your own everything" mentality
  • Offers permission to need support in your recovery journey

📚 "Goodbye Perfect" by Homaira Kabir

  • Essential reading for recovering people-pleasers and perfectionists
  • Subtitle: "How to Stop Pleasing, Proving, and Pushing for Others and Live for Yourself"

📚 "Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance" by Lisa Olivera

  • Medicine for anyone struggling with self-worth in recovery
  • Focuses on genuine self-acceptance, not fake confidence

📚 "Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Joseph Nguyen

  • Game-changer for dealing with loud eating disorder thoughts
  • Teaches you that you are not your thoughts and don't have to believe them all

📚 "A Crown That Lasts: You Are Not Your Label" by Demi Tebow

  • Powerful reminder that you are more than your eating disorder or diagnosis
  • Perfect for finding identity beyond your struggles

📚 "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

  • Life-changing research on shame, vulnerability, and wholehearted living
  • Essential for anyone who's used perfectionism as armor
Key Takeaways:

✨ Recovery is possible right now - You don't have to wait until you're "ready enough"

✨ You are not your eating disorder - Your thoughts and diagnosis don't define your worth

✨ Progress over perfection - Healing isn't linear, and that's completely normal

✨ You can do hard things - And you don't have to do them alone

✨ Your journey is unique - What works for others might look different for you, and that's okay

Exciting News: The Recovery Collective is Launching October 2025!

Finally, a recovery community that gets it.

The Recovery Collective is where women in all phases of eating disorder recovery come together bi-weekly to share wins, navigate challenges, and build lasting freedom in a safe, supportive community.

What You Get:

  • Bi-weekly 60-minute group coaching calls via Zoom
  • Safe, judgment-free space with 10-15 women maximum
  • Real-time support for your current recovery challenges
  • Optional check-in prompts and VIP offers
  • Coaching insights that help you move forward, not backward

Special Founding Member Pricing:

  • First 10 members: $47/month (over 50% off!)
  • Regular membership: $97/month
  • Less than $1.50/day for bi-weekly coaching and community support

Recovery isn't a destination - it's a journey best taken together.

www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:

💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if you're reading any of these books!

Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

EP 235.5: The 3 Core Beliefs That Are Secretly Fueling Your Eating Disorder + What to Do Next to Change the Way You Think29 août 202500:16:48

Core beliefs are the fundamental, deeply held beliefs we develop in early childhood that shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. In this eye-opening episode, Lindsey breaks down how eating disorders stem from and reinforce negative core beliefs that can take years to heal from. Learn about the three types of core beliefs that are secretly feeding your disordered eating patterns and discover how to identify and transform these beliefs to break free from the cycle keeping you stuck.

Key Takeaways
  • Core beliefs are fundamental truths you've made into idols that need to be challenged
  • Eating disorders stem from and reinforce negative core beliefs developed in childhood
  • There are 3 types of core beliefs: how you see yourself, others, and the world
  • You are becoming someone you've never been before - be patient with that process
  • "You either quit or keep going - they both hurt. Choose your hurt wisely."
The 3 Types of Core Beliefs Type 1: How You See Yourself

What It Includes:

  • Self-worth and personal value
  • Self-competence, skills, and abilities
  • Self-identity - who you are at your core
  • Beliefs shaped by caretakers, feedback, and criticisms over your lifetime

How It Feeds EDs:

  • "I'm not good enough" leads to perfectionism, restriction, and rigidity
  • False identity created by the eating disorder becomes your truth
  • Tying worth and value to performance instead of inherent value

How to Change It:

  • Build self-compassion through recovery inspiration
  • Embrace your identity as "daughter of the most high, warrior, queen"
  • Recognize the voice in your head is a false narrative
  • Understand you don't have to earn, restrict, or compensate for nourishment
Type 2: How You View Other People

What It Includes:

  • Trustworthiness and reliability of others
  • Beliefs about goodwill and kindness in people
  • Prejudices and stereotypes
  • Safety mechanisms developed from rejection or inconsistent caregiving

How It Feeds EDs:

  • "If I can just be perfect, I'll have less rejection"
  • Using food and exercise to control how others perceive you
  • "If I gain weight, will my husband/boyfriend still want me?"

How to Change It:

  • Stop comparing yourself to other people
  • Understand most people don't actually care about your recovery journey
  • Set boundaries with people who aren't in your corner
  • Accept support from those who truly want what's best for you
Type 3: Your Perception of the World

What It Includes:

  • Beliefs about safety vs. danger in your environment
  • Abundance vs. scarcity mindset
  • Beliefs about available resources and opportunities
  • Level of control you have over your life and world events

How It Feeds EDs:

  • "The world is unsafe, so I must perform to prove my value"
  • Searching for control and stability through food/body management
  • Fear-based restriction during uncertain times

How to Change It:

  • Challenge wellness culture and societal body image messages
  • Create personal meaning and purpose beyond the disorder
  • "Stay away from processed bodies rather than processed foods"
How Core Beliefs Create ED Cycles

The Connection:

  • Core beliefs affect your motivations, goals, life choices, and desires for freedom
  • Negative self-perception breeds perfectionism and restriction
  • Fear of others' judgment results in using food and exercise for control
  • Worldview of unsafety heightens need to prove value through performance
Powerful Quotes from This Episode
  • "You are becoming someone you've never met before - and that's what I want you to take with you today."
  • "What other people think of you is not your business."
  • "No one truly cares what you are doing in your recovery outside of those closest to you."
  • "You either quit or you get to keep going, and they both hurt. Choose your hurt wisely."
  • "We have to stop living and breeding a culture where our daughters feel wrong for being in their own body."
The Core Belief Transformation Process Step 1: Identification
  • Recognize which of the 3 types of core beliefs are impacting your ED
  • Identify the "fundamental truths" you've made into idols
  • Understand these beliefs reinforce unhealthy coping mechanisms
Step 2: Challenge
  • Question beliefs about yourself, others, and the world
  • Recognize many beliefs aren't even yours - they were inherited
  • Challenge wellness culture and societal messages
Step 3: Rebuild
  • Build self-compassion and embrace your true identity
  • Set boundaries and stop caring about bystanders' opinions
  • Create meaning and purpose beyond the disorder
Warning Signs Your Core Beliefs Are Feeding Your ED
  • Tying your worth to your performance or appearance
  • Believing you must be perfect to avoid rejection
  • Using food/exercise to control how others see you
  • Feeling unsafe in the world and needing control through restriction
  • Believing you're "not good enough" or "unlovable"
The Recovery Mindset Shifts

From: "I'm not good enough" To: "I am a warrior becoming someone I've never been before"

From: "I must be perfect to be loved" To: "I am worthy of love exactly as I am"

From: "The world is unsafe" To: "I can create meaning and purpose beyond my fears"

Journal Prompts for Core Belief Work
  1. "What beliefs about myself are keeping me stuck in ED patterns?"
  2. "How much influence am I allowing others to have in my recovery?"
  3. "What worldview am I holding that makes me feel unsafe?"
  4. "Which core beliefs are reinforcing my unhealthy coping mechanisms?"
The Call to Action

Be the Change:

  • Challenge societal messages about body image and success
  • Stand up for your truth
  • "Stay away from processed bodies rather than processed foods"
  • Stop creating negative cycles for future generations
Signs You're Ready to Transform Core Beliefs
  • You recognize these beliefs are "idols" you've created
  • You're tired of caring what everyone else thinks
  • You want to break generational cycles
  • You're ready to become someone you've never been before
  • You understand recovery requires belief transformation, not just behavior change
Ready to Break the Chains of Limiting Core Beliefs?

If you're ready for personalized support in transforming the core beliefs keeping you stuck, Lindsey has one slot available for personal coaching, plus amazing support coaches on her team.

Fill out a client application at herbestself.co and get the help you need to see yourself, others, and the world differently.

Connect with Lindsey About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom.

If this episode helped you identify the core beliefs feeding your eating disorder, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

© My Podcast Data · Independent project · Data from Apple & Spotify