The Unchangeable Truth: We Can't Change Others

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the pain and confusion that arises for couples when one partner is not doing the work to heal. She gently and compassionately addresses the hard truth that nobody can force another person to do recovery work, demonstrate empathy, tell the truth, change and/or heal. Using the metaphor of a bridge, we will explore the frustration and grief that accompanies the healing process, specifically when one partner isn't willing or able to cross the bridge together.  

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks to HCH coaches Susan and Scott Rankin, a husband and wife with their own story of relational betrayal and healing. Susan and Scott vulnerably share their journey of healing and rebuilding their relationship and open up about the painful impact the addiction had on their lives and their relationship and the path that led them back to themselves and each other.

Listeners will hear about the pivotal moments in their recovery journey, including the decision to seek therapy, the role of honesty and vulnerability, and the long, challenging process of rebuilding trust. Susan and Scott share the tools and resources that helped them, the support systems they leaned on, and the personal growth they each experienced.

This episode offers a powerful message of hope for anyone facing similar challenges, highlighting the possibility of healing and resilience even after the deepest wounds. Whether you're dealing with betrayal in your own life or simply seeking to understand the complexities of addiction and recovery in relationships, this conversation provides valuable insights and inspiration.

In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie talks with award-winning actress Maddie Corman about her journey of healing from betrayal trauma in the aftermath of discovering her husband's secret life.

In 2015, life as Maddie knew it came to a screeching halt when the police came to her home to arrest her husband. In an instant everything changed and her life as she knew shattered in a very public and shocking way.

With raw vulnerability, Maddie shares with us how the biggest trauma of her life led to transformation, hope and healing.

In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie interviews Chris Jones, a coach and therapist who shares his own story of healing from problematic sexual behavior. Chris opens up about his own process, what he has learned and what was the prominent factor that caused his wife to never doubt his commitment to recovery.  

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk about the losses that result from betrayal and the grieving process couples must walk through together as an important part of relational healing. When couples are able to do the hard work of grieving together, they create the shared narrative necessary to envision a future for their relationship. 

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss setting goals and intentions for the new year and the difficulty that might arise in the process when thinking about and planning for the future for couples trying to heal their relationship after betrayal.

Our intention for all of our listeners as you begin the new year is healing and peace. 

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Jake Porter of Daring Ventures about trauma, addiction, secure attachment, grief and loss, and how to reconstruct a relationship that has been traumatized by betrayal. We discuss how couples can create new meaning in their relationships after betrayal and the importance of working together to develop a shared collaborative narrative of their history.  

We also explore the steps and tools necessary to help couples heal and explain why it is so important for the person who has committed the betrayal to become a part of the healing process even though they are the person who is responsible for the hurting.  

Please use this link to purchase Making Saves as referred in the podcast. Use the coupon code "helpingcouplesheal" for a 50 percent discount. 

In the face of betrayal, healing may seem like an impossible task for male partners. 

Male betrayed partners are often overlooked in the treatment of betrayal trauma. In this episode, Marnie and Duane address the challenges that male betrayed partners face in the aftermath of betrayal and emphasize the need for support in their healing process. 

Men are often taught to be strong and emotionally stoic, making it difficult to seek help when they experience betrayal. The void of resources specifically for men reinforces this. 

You're not alone in your pain. We see you, we hear you, and we are creating resources and support specifically for male betrayed partners. 

- Marnie Breecker

While female betrayed partners, in general, have gained much more attention and resources in the last decade, men often continue to be overlooked. This podcast episode addresses the need to create safe spaces where men can express their hurt without judgment.  We provide valuable insights about how the socialization of men discourages asking for help and acknowledging their pain and emphasize that acknowledging the hurt is the first crucial step toward healing.

To all the betrayed men listening, we want you to know that we recognize that your voices need to be heard, your pain acknowledged and specific resources and support dedicated to your healing. 

We all deserve to heal, regardless of gender.

Betrayal does not come in one gender. When we are betrayed by the person we love the most, it does not matter what your external life is like. What you have lost is what matters. 

- Duane Osterlind

The critical moments in this episode are:

00:01:27 - Differences between male and female betrayed partners, 

00:03:59 - Male betrayed partners as an underserved population, 

00:07:03 - Shame and stigma faced by male betrayed partners, 

00:09:01 - Delayed response of male betrayed partners, 

00:15:13 - Importance of Trust

Find out more about our couples workshop.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, hosts Marnie Breecker and Duane Osterlind emphasize the importance of adopting a restorative justice model when healing a relationship after betrayal.

They advocate for moving away from a punitive mindset and instead focusing on healing, repairing the harm caused, and fostering understanding.

The hosts address common misconceptions, such as the idea that showing compassion to the betraying partner neglects or disrespects the betrayed partner. They stress that the restorative approach respects the humanity of everyone involved and allows for accountability and meaningful repair.

By embracing this model, couples can work towards true healing and wholeness in their relationships, both in the short term and for a lifetime.

The hosts highlight that the restorative justice model has been proven effective in reducing the likelihood of reoffending and increasing recovery and success rates in healing.

They invite listeners to consider this approach and reassure them of their dedication to supporting individuals on their healing journey.

Find out more about our workshop.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode, Marnie and Duane welcome Stan Tatkin back to the Helping Couples Heal podcast to continue their discussion about healing relationships after betrayal and to talk about his new book In Each Other's Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them. 

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand how to create relationships based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity and how to make them thrive long-term.

Check out our free webinar on healing your relationship after betrayal trauma.

https://workshop.helpingcouplesheal.com/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk about being responsible for your healing and what that means. While building a treatment team is critical for successful recovery and healing, advocating for yourself is equally important. 

Therapy/therapeutic coaching is a collaboration and partnership between the treating professional and the client/clients. 

Learning to advocate for yourself and be a collaborative partner in this process is crucial to staying on a path that's right for you/your relationship as you heal from the trauma of betrayal. 

Learn more about the HCH 2-Day Couples Workshop at:

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of The Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk to Ted Bunch, author, educator, activist, lecturer, and Chief Development Officer at A Call to Men, about the collective socialization of Men, the "Man Box" and how these social constructs directly impact our lives and relationships and, specifically, infidelity, betrayal, and sex and pornography addiction.  

Since A Call To Men was founded in 2002, they have trained more than a million people and worked with organizations around the world, including the National Football League, National Basketball Association, National Hockey League, Major League Baseball, Major League Soccer, Uber, Deloitte, Harry’s, J.P. Morgan, the United States Military, the U.S. Department of Justice, the United Nations, and colleges and universities across the country.

Learn more about our workshop here:

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode, Marnie sits down with "Jess", who bravely shares her experience with pornography addiction. Jess discusses the roots of her addiction, the emotional and psychological impact it had on her life, and the challenges she faced in seeking help.

She opens up about the stigma surrounding female pornography addiction and the misconceptions that often prevent women from seeking the support they need.

Through her story, Jess sheds light on the recovery process, the strategies that helped her heal from pornography and sex addiction and the importance of self-compassion and community support.

This episode aims to break the silence on a taboo topic, offering hope and encouragement to others who may be struggling with similar issues. Join us for a candid and inspiring conversation that demonstrates the power of vulnerability and the possibility of healing.

In this episode of the Helping Couple Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with author Stephanie Sarazin about her book "Soulbroken: A Guidebook For Your Journey Through Ambiguous Grief," written in the aftermath of her own experience of intimate betrayal. Frequently, betrayed partners report intense feelings of grief as a result of the discovery of betrayal. Grief is a word we are all familiar with, but grieving someone who is still alive is altogether less familiar and certainly less understood.  In our interview with Stephanie, we dive deep into understanding the emotional pain of a changed or lost relationship with someone you love.  

To learn more about how our workshop could help your relationship heal, click the link below.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Carol Juergensen Sheets (AKA Carol the Coach) about Help. Them. Heal., her newest book about helping couples heal their relationship after sexual betrayal. She also shares about the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) and how she trains professionals in this model to help them in their work with clients in moving towards relational healing and post-traumatic growth.  

Learn more about our Helping Couples Heal workshop at https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Gemini Adams, Trauma Recovery Specialist, Educator, Author, and HCH Coach, about the importance of including somatic practices in the treatment of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). Talk therapy and coaching have tremendous value and are often much-needed resources for individuals suffering from mental health issues, life stressors, grief, and relationship problems. Talking also has some limitations when it comes to healing complex trauma and calming a dysregulated nervous system. 

After the discovery of betrayal, both partners often experience acute and chronic stress, emotional overwhelm, and relational trauma, which disrupts their ability to feel safe with themselves and may result in survival responses that increase anxiety, anger, depression, despair, and/or dissociation. Suppose you are walking the path of healing from betrayal trauma. In that case, this conversation will help you understand the importance of integrating somatic practices to help return your nervous system to safety, reduce trauma responses and move toward a greater capacity for connection, communication, and inner peace.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/our-coaches/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane bring you part 2 of their conversation with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Harville and Helen talk about the history of IMAGO dialogue (now called Safe Conversations) and share their social vision of moving from an individualistic civilization to a relational civilization as the next stage of human social evolution. They explain how they have devoted themselves to taking a therapeutic intervention (IMAGO dialogue) that was historically taught only in a therapeutic setting and bringing it into the culture to teach all human beings how to talk.  

We do a deep dive into the neuroscience behind the dialogue's efficacy, the 4 tenets of the dialogue and how the structure and safety create the necessary conditions for safe conversations. 

Want to learn more about our couples workshop?

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In part one of this special episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with relationship experts Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt about their relationship history, the struggles that almost led to divorce, and how these experiences gave birth to the co-creation of Imago Relationship Therapy and more specifically the Imago Dialogue that they now refer to as Safe Conversations. Driven by a fierce commitment to promoting the transformation of couples, Harville and Helen created a safe and structured way to help couples overcome challenges and learn to communicate and, ultimately, heal.

In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie and Duane answer a listener's question about how to live in limbo, without safety, after choosing to stay in a relationship after betrayal.  

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Zoe Kors, certified Sexolgosit and HCH's resident Sex and Intimacy Coach, about healthy sexuality and sexual integration in the context of healing from betrayal and relational trauma.  

Here is the link to the Sexual Reintegration Online Self-Guided Course.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/reintegration-course/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss the biology of partner trauma responses through the lens of attachment theory and safety. Conceptualizing partner trauma from this lens allows those who have betrayed to learn the necessary relational skills to help heal. In this short but informative episode, Marnie and Duane address the complexities of healing from betrayal trauma and the mistakes made by those who were betrayed when trying to help their partner recover from triggers and trauma responses.  

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with a couple about how the HCH couples community has profoundly changed and transformed their relationship. As Corrie and Pat reflect on their experience, Marnie and Duane discuss the importance of community and connection in healing from betrayal trauma.

We hope you enjoy this special edition of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast. This is a repost of an interview on Sex Help with Carol the Coach where Carol interviewed Marnie about the Helping Couples Heal Online Couples Community and why community is so important for couples recovering from betrayal trauma.

To learn more about the community, click the link below.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/helping-couples-heal-online-couples-community/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with her friend, colleague and author of the Complex Partner Trauma magazine, Hope Ray, about integrity abuse and betrayal violence. With compassion, Marnie and Hope have a brutally honest conversation about the power and control dynamics present in relationships where betrayal has occurred.  

Recognizing and acknowledging abusive behaviors, especially those tied to deceptive sexuality, is a challenging but crucial step toward healing. It requires a deep level of self-awareness and honesty, as well as a willingness to confront difficult truths about one's actions and their impact on others. This process can be painful but is essential for personal growth and the restoration of trust and relationships.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Duane and Marnie answer a listener's question about what to expect further along the recovery road for a couple recovering from betrayal trauma. What does moving forward look like after early tasks such as disclosure have been achieved? What's on the other side? Should there be more to compensate for years of acting out and integrity abuse? Marnie and Duane answer some of these questions and explore what life can look like beyond recovery when both partners are very much invested in healing the relationship

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss the importance of full transparency in a relationship traumatized by betrayal. Often we hear from hopeless partners who are in so much pain because after the discovery of betrayal, there remains a lack of integrity, specifically when it comes to full transparency.  

Full transparency allows a partner to move from a place of trauma and despair to a place of security, trust, and healing. To those who have betrayed their partner, helping your partner and your relationship heal from betrayal trauma requires full transparency and the willingness to consistently provide evidence of fidelity and honesty when requested. Recognizing that a partner is seeking safety after discovery and taking action to provide full transparency without resistance, defensiveness, or anger is essential to relational healing.  

www.helpingcouplesheal.com

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss the importance of managing expectations around the time it takes to heal relationships after the discovery of betrayal. 

Learn more about our workshop:

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

Learn more about our online couples community:

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/helping-couples-heal-online-couples-community/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss the topic of shame, the greatest obstacle/barrier to healing relationships after betrayal. 

It is crucial that a betraying partner be accountable for their betrayal; shame doesn’t accomplish that. Shame makes healing much harder, perhaps impossible. 

What accompanies shame most often is the feeling of hopelessness because it tells you that this (what you have done) is who you have always been and always will be. Rather than conceptualizing your betrayal as behavior that caused trauma to your intimate partner (and perhaps others as well), shame frames the betrayal as an integral part of your identity. Most people who feel that, at their core, they are bad will not believe that they are worthy of forgiveness and healing. 

While humility pushes you to change and become a better person, shame paralyzes and prevents you from growing and healing. It disables you, blocking your capacity to take the necessary steps to heal yourself or your relationship. 

Relational healing requires the ability to be relational and present. Shame does the opposite; it pushes you away from your spouse at precisely the moment you should be trying to rebuild your connection.

If shame is keeping you or your relationship stuck, please listen to this episode. 

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/

PLEASE READ BEFORE LISTENING:

Please be advised that we will be talking about sexuality in this episode and, at times, will be using graphic language that may be triggering or bring up uncomfortable emotions for some. The content of this episode will not be appropriate for those of you who have recently had discovery, are in acute trauma or crisis, and/or have not yet (or have just started) to work on relational healing. This episode is for our listeners who are at a place in their healing and couples recovery where they want to begin to explore sexuality after betrayal. We don't believe anyone should even consider being sexual with a partner when there is a lack of safety, ongoing abuse, or danger. Sexual Reintegration comes at a later stage of recovery once there has been trauma reduction/resolution and relational stabilization.

Episode Synopsis

In this episode, Marnie and Duane talk with sex expert Dr. Emily Morse about sexual health and wellness and how to create the safety necessary for couples recovering from betrayal trauma. By exploring such questions as "What is healthy sexuality?" and "What is not healthy sexuality?" we begin to create a template to guide and assist couples who are ready to take this next step in their relational healing.    

In this episode, Marnie and Duane discuss the topic of pornography, specifically in the context of betrayal. This episode isn't a moral debate about pornography. Instead, it is a candid discussion about the traumatic impact of discovering a secret sexual life on an unknowing partner.

"It's just porn" is often used as a way to minimize the damage or pain experienced by the partner who was left in the dark for years. However, by definition, betrayal in itself (regardless of the nature of the sexual behavior) causes complex trauma to those who had no idea about their partner's secret sex life.

Please listen to understand how a secret pornography life causes betrayal trauma and creates deep and long-lasting wounds in couples who want to heal.  

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Duane and Marnie discuss how the compartmentalization of trust can hinder relational healing and further traumatize a betrayed partner.  

While many betrayers are able to understand why their partner can no longer trust them when it comes to sexual and relational fidelity, many do not understand why their partner is no longer able to trust them in other areas "separate from the betrayal." Marnie and Duane explain why nothing remains "separate" after betrayal and how understanding the danger of distorted thinking in recovery can help prevent further trauma.  

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane address therapeutic separation in the context of betrayal and relational trauma, a topic often talked about but not often understood. They discuss everything from what it is and what it is not to why a therapeutic separation can feel threatening or scary and why (if used correctly and with professional support and guidance) it can be a practical intervention for couples trying to heal their relationships after betrayal.  

A note to our listeners:

We want you to know how sorry we are that it's been so long since we released a podcast episode. Please know that you've been on our minds and in our hearts; it's just been a particularly crazy busy time for us and we're doing our very best to meet the needs of all of our clients, staff, and listeners. Sadly, there just isn't enough time in the day. Please bear with us, we're here for you!  

Feeling stuck can mean a lot of things. In this episode, Marnie and Duane discuss what feeling stuck means in the context of relational healing and betrayal trauma. What does it look like when sobriety has been established but integrity disorder behaviors, abuse, and/or deception continue and trust and safety remain unattainable? How can you as the betrayed partner take care of yourself and get your needs met when the person who has hurt you is incapable or unwilling to take the necessary action to help you heal? This is an important conversation to listen to if you're feeling stuck in healing your relationship and don't know how to move forward with or without your partner.  

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, author and transformational journalist Neil Strauss joins Marnie and Duane once again to continue their conversation about his personal journey of betrayal and healing and the transformative work that changed his life. 

Part 1

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/the-truth-a-conversation-with-neil-strauss/

In this episode of the helping couples heal podcast, Marnie speaks with Ilyse craft, Joni ogle and Stephanie roman about the complexity of finances and more specifically, in the aftermath of betrayal.

Navigating financial fears can be daunting, especially after betrayal. It's common to feel avoidant, but it's crucial to face these issues head-on to make informed decisions and move forward. There are options and plenty of support available to help you through this.

Our own issues and fears about money can often be what keep us feeling stuck.

Developing financial confidence is key to effectively handling financial matters.

Resources for the podcast notes and/or to reference

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Money Girl with Laura Adams

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Smart Women Finish Rich - David Bach

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Women with Money” The Judgment -Free Guide to Transforming your Relationship with Monday and Achieving Financial Independence - Vivi Robin and Joe Dominguez

Joni Ogle - Heights Treatment, Houston Texas

In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie and Duane, explore why betrayed partners often still don't feel safe even after sexual recovery has been achieved. 

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane respond to a listener's request for guidance about couple therapy, including when it is and isn't clinically recommended and the indicators that it is too soon or not soon enough. Betrayed partners commonly report that they have been pushed to do therapy as a couple early on in the process before they are ready and while they still feel unsafe. Join Marnie and Duane for this important conversation as they discern early couples work focused on crisis management and safety building from later couple therapy where bonding, connection, repair, and vulnerability are encouraged.

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at helpingcouplesheal.com/about

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Stan Tatkin - clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of the psychobiological approach to couple therapy (PACT) neuroscience and the role of attachment theory in healing betrayal and relational trauma.  

Please listen carefully to every word of this interview if you are someone who has betrayed your partner and can't understand why she is as traumatized as she is by your betrayal.  

In this episode, Marnie and Duane discuss the unique and often challenging process of finding the "right" help in the aftermath of betrayal. They stress the importance of a collaborative and systems-focused approach to relational helping and address the potential pitfalls of using a non-relational model, including further trauma.

In this episode, Marnie and Duane address the topic of grieving during the holidays, when loss and grief are often felt more acutely. The holiday season, which extends from Thanksgiving to the beginning of the new year, is a very long stretch of time when there is an expectation of celebration and joy. This can feel very incongruent for those in recovery from betrayal and relational trauma because the mood of someone who is grieving is very contrary to most others' mood during these festive times. 

Marnie and Duane offer some practical suggestions for surviving the holiday season, starting with simply accepting that you are grieving and that it will be different this year. Permitting yourself to make the necessary compromises and adjustments is crucial in making the holidays a bit more tolerable for yourself and your family.

In this episode, Marnie talks to Ryan Angulo, a Los Angeles based Polygrapher who she has been working with since 2008. With differing opinions amongst treatment professionals and clients alike about the efficacy of polygraphs in the context of sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery, traumatized couples are often left confused, frustrated, and uncertain about whether or not to include the polygraph as a part of their disclosure and healing process. Marnie and Ryan answer the most commonly asked questions and explore the benefits and risks of using the polygraph as a tool to promote relational healing and rebuild trust post sexual betrayal. 

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at helpingcouplesheal.com/about

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop

This episode of the HCH podcast focuses on the shame many betrayed partners' experiences related to their decision to stay in the relationship with the person who betrayed them. In this conversation, Marnie and Duane conceptualize the shame of staying as another burden partners must bear in the aftermath of the discovery of betrayal.  

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at helpingcouplesheal.com/about

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop

In this episode, Marnie has an uncensored and candid discussion with New York Times bestselling writer and transformational journalist Neil Strauss. Neil talks openly about his sex addiction recovery journey as chronicled in his book "The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships" With humor, humility, and honesty, He shares many of the lessons he learned in treatment, including the moments in therapy that changed his life, healed his relationship, and, most important, brought him home to himself.

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of Helping Couples Heal, Marnie and Duane talk with Dr. Rob Weiss, a clinical sexologist and the Chief Clinical Officer at Seeking Integrity in Los Angeles. In his book "Out of the Doghouse; a Step by Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating," Rob offers concrete steps men can take to rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and heal relationships traumatized by betrayal. Sex addicts are intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged. As such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage caused by their infidelity and associated patterns of manipulation, deceit, and emotional and psychological abuse. In this episode, we emphasize that identifying and learning about these crucial relational skills and eventually being coached in their practice is a necessary component of recovery for sex addicts to healing relationships traumatized by betrayal.

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode, Marnie and Duane share and address a listener's question about the role of empathy and emotional attunement in healing relationships traumatized by betrayal.  More specifically, they conceptualize shame as a barrier to relational healing and explore the importance of shame reduction in treatment. 

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with HCH President and betrayal trauma coach Ilyse Craft about the complexities partners face after experiencing betrayal, specifically the decision of whether to stay or leave their relationship.

Finding clarity about the future of a relationship traumatized by betrayal involves navigating a spectrum of emotions, from hurt and anger to confusion and doubt. Factors such as the history of the relationship, finances, the extent of the betrayal and the presence of children further complicate this decision-making process. 

Each individual must weigh their emotional well-being against practical considerations, often seeking clarity over time as they contemplate the impact on their future and that of their family. This episode explores these multifaceted dynamics, shedding light on the complexities that partners face when grappling with the aftermath of betrayal.

In this episode, Marnie and Duane discuss why emotional attunement is a necessary component for relational healing and why the" right words" without a felt sense of compassion for what your partner is experiencing and feeling just isn't enough.  They also explore the role of empathy in emotional attunement and why compassionate empathy is crucial to healing partner and relational trauma.

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In the final episode of a 3-part interview with Dr. Omar Minwalla, Marnie and Duane continue the conversation about integrity abuse disorders and gender pathology in the context of betrayal trauma.

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Online Workshop at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In this special edition of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane speak to those impacted by betrayal about the added stress and trauma caused by the current global crisis and the importance of social connection during a time of physical distancing and isolation.

You can find out more about Duane and Marnie at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/

Learn More About Our Helping Couples Heal 2-Day Workshop at http://www.helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

In the second of a series of three interviews, Marnie and Duane continue their conversation with Dr. Minwalla about integrity abuse disorders; the clinically significant deficits in integrity and patterns of psychological, emotional and relational abuse which cause complex trauma symptoms in betrayed partners.