Explore every episode of the podcast Healing For Love
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 152. Why You Keep Trying to Earn Love From Emotionally Unavailable Men (Listener's question) | 14 Oct 2026 | 00:35:54 | |
Have you ever found yourself giving more and more to someone, hoping that eventually they'll realise how much you mean to them and want a relationship with you? In this episode of Healing for Love, I'm responding to a listener who shares her painful experience of a situationship following the end of a long marriage marked by controlling and abusive behaviour. Despite recognising that this new man was emotionally unavailable, dismissive of her needs and unwilling to offer a committed relationship, she continued to invest in him, hoping that if she loved and helped him enough, things would change. When the relationship ended, she was left struggling with feelings of inadequacy, rejection and being unwanted. In this episode, I explore:
I also discuss the importance of recognising the different parts of ourselves that become activated in relationships, and why understanding your Love Template is such an important part of breaking recurring patterns. Love Wisely - Self-Study Course If you're ready to understand your schemas, break unhealthy relationship patterns and rewrite your Love Template, explore my self-study course, Love Wisely. There's a special offer for podcast listeners throughout October (see link below). 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 151. The Approval-Seeking Trap: Why You Care So Much What Others Think | 13 Oct 2026 | 00:25:22 | |
Do you find yourself worrying about what other people think of you? Do you feel particularly sensitive to criticism, or find that your self-worth depends on whether others like, approve of or admire you? In this episode of Healing for Love, I'm sharing a lesson from my Love Wisely course exploring the Approval-Seeking Schema, also known as the Recognition-Seeking Schema. We look at how this schema develops, particularly through childhood experiences of conditional approval, and how it can influence your self-esteem, relationships, dating choices and sense of identity. In this episode, you'll learn:
Wanting to be liked is perfectly normal. The difficulty arises when other people's approval becomes the measure of your worth, and you begin losing touch with what you genuinely want. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 150. I Know My Relationship Patterns, So Why Can't I Change Them? | 17 Sep 2026 | 00:42:21 | |
What if you can see your relationship patterns clearly, but still can't seem to change them? In this episode of Healing for Love, I'm answering a listener question from a woman who recognises some of her schemas and can see what happens to her in relationships, particularly when she freezes and loses her voice during difficult interactions. Her bigger question is one I hear often: Is it actually possible for me to learn new relationship patterns, or am I destined to keep repeating the same ones? I begin the episode by sharing a beautiful update from a former client who once struggled with a strong abandonment schema and painful relationship patterns, but is now in a secure, loving relationship and has recently become a mother. Her story is an important reminder that our schemas can have a powerful influence on our relationships, but they do not have to determine our future. In this episode, I explore:
One of the most important ideas I discuss in this episode is this: Sometimes we start using the schema itself as evidence that the schema is true. If you've experienced painful relationships repeatedly, you might start thinking: "There's something inherently wrong with me." "Relationships never work out for me." "I'm never going to get the love and connection I need." "I can't speak up. That's just who I am." These thoughts can feel incredibly true. But schemas are learned stories and emotional templates. They are not facts about who you are, and they are not predictions of your future. If you've been wondering whether it's really possible to break old relationship patterns and create something different, I hope this episode gives you both insight and hope. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 149. The 5 hidden Love Traps keeping you stuck in painful dynamics. | 28 Aug 2026 | 01:08:09 | |
5 hidden love traps keeping you stuck in painful dynamics. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 148. 6 Childhood Roles That Can Shape Your Adult Relationships | 11 Aug 2026 | 00:28:47 | |
Who did you learn you needed to be in your family growing up? The good girl? The responsible one? The peacekeeper? The child who didn't need very much? The roles we learn in our family of origin can become deeply ingrained, and we can continue playing them long after childhood has ended, particularly in our romantic relationships. In this episode, I explore six common childhood roles I've observed in my work with women, and how these roles can become part of what I call our Love Template, the largely unconscious map that influences who we're drawn to, how we behave in relationships, what we tolerate and the patterns we repeat. I also share an excerpt from one of the lessons inside Love Wisely Foundations, where I take a deeper look at several of these roles and how they can continue playing out in our adult relationships. The important thing to remember is this: You are not the role. You learned the role. And what has been learned can be noticed, understood and gradually changed. Love Wisely My next Love Wisely group coaching experience begins on 9 September. Over three months, I guide a small group of women through the process of understanding and intentionally rewriting their Love Template, so they can break long-standing relationship patterns and move towards healthier, safer and more fulfilling relationships. Priority enrolment is now opening. See the links in the show notes for more information. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 147. He Promises a Future, But Gives You Crumbs | 03 Aug 2026 | 00:22:53 | |
WARNING: This episode contains natural bird songs, twigs breaking & leaves crushing underfoot, the occasional breathlessnes and the distant sound of kids playing in a park 😊 Love Wisely is starting again soon! If you have been waiting for your chance to join me for the next 3-month journey to rewrite you Love Template, sign up below!. What does it really mean for someone to be available for a relationship? In this walking episode, I explore one of the most painful forms of emotional unavailability: becoming attached to someone who is still entangled with another woman. Perhaps he says the marriage is over. Perhaps they still live together “for the children.” Perhaps he promises that once the separation, divorce or living arrangements are resolved, the two of you can finally have a proper relationship. Meanwhile, you are left waiting, hoping and accepting small pieces of connection from someone who is not genuinely free to build a life with you. In this episode, I discuss:
I also share a personal experience of becoming emotionally attached to a married and unavailable man, and what that experience helped me understand about my own schemas. If you are waiting for someone’s circumstances to change before they can fully choose you, this episode is an invitation to step back and look honestly at what is being offered to you now. You deserve more than promises, fragments of attention and a place at the edge of someone else’s life. Love Wisely If you have a recurring pattern of becoming attached to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, my Love Wisely group coaching experience begins in September. Inside the program, I guide a small group of women through the process of understanding and intentionally rewriting the unconscious Love Template that has shaped their relationship choices. Join the Love Wisely priority list through the link in the show notes. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 146. 9 Signs You're Building a Healthy Relationship (What Healthy Love Actually Feels Like) | 30 Jul 2026 | 00:37:59 | |
Many women tell me they know what an unhealthy relationship feels like but they're much less certain about what a healthy one should feel like. In this episode, I walk you through nine signs that you're building a healthy, emotionally available relationship during the early stages of dating. Rather than focusing on red flags, we explore the aspects that signal emotional safety, healthy attraction and genuine compatibility. In this episode you'll learn:
If you've ever wondered whether a relationship is moving in a healthy direction, this episode will help you better understand what to look for and what healthy love actually feels like. Work With MeLove Wisely Group Coaching – my flagship group coaching experience for women ready to break long-standing relationship patterns and create healthier, more secure relationships. Join the Priority List - we start again in September!! https://www.drgemmagladstone.com/LoveWisely_Waitlst 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 145. 5 Signs You're Stuck in a Situationship That's Going Nowhere | 20 Jul 2026 | 00:39:13 | |
Situationships aren't new, but today they have a name. They're often marked by uncertainty, mixed messages, hope, and one person wanting much more than the other. In this episode, I explore five common signs that you're caught in a situationship that's unlikely to become the relationship you're hoping for. More importantly, we look at the psychology behind why so many intelligent women find themselves staying in these painful, ambiguous dynamics. In this episode you'll learn:
If you've ever wondered whether you're holding on to hope rather than evidence, this episode is for you. Free Masterclass Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating Register via the link in the show notes. Work With Me Love Wisely Foundations – my self-paced online program. Love Wisely – my flagship group coaching experience, designed to help women intentionally rewrite their Love Template and break long-standing relationship patterns. For more information, visit: 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 144. Do You Have an Abandonment Wound? Signs It's Affecting Your Relationships | 14 Jul 2026 | 00:40:43 | |
Have you ever wondered why relationships can feel so emotionally intense? Why you find it difficult to leave someone, even when you know they're not right for you? Or why emotionally unavailable partners seem to become a recurring pattern? In this episode, I explore one of the most important psychological patterns I see in my work with women - the abandonment schema (or abandonment wound). Drawing on nearly 30 years of experience in psychology and schema therapy, I explain how early experiences of inconsistency, loss, emotional absence or disrupted attachment can quietly shape our expectations of love, influence who feels familiar, and make it much harder to walk away from relationships that aren't meeting our needs. You'll learn: • What an abandonment schema actually is If you've ever found yourself repeatedly attracted to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, or you've wondered why leaving unhealthy relationships feels so incredibly difficult, this episode will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface. Love Wisely Group Coaching Private Coaching Connect Website: Instagram: If you enjoyed this episode, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed, left a review, or shared it with someone who may need to hear it. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 143.The Dating Advice I Give Every Woman Looking for an Emotionally Available Partner | 19 Jun 2026 | 00:51:09 | |
If you're serious about finding an emotionally available partner, there are some important shifts that can dramatically improve your chances of creating a healthy relationship. In this episode, I break down the practical dating advice I most often share with my coaching clients. Women who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns and want to approach dating with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust. One of the biggest misconceptions about dating is that women who end up in unhealthy relationships simply fail to see the warning signs. In my experience, that's rarely true. Most women notice far more than they give themselves credit for. The challenge is often not spotting the red flags—it's understanding the deeper patterns that make it difficult to trust yourself and act on what you already know. If you're ready to approach dating differently and want to understand the hidden psychological forces that influence attraction and decision-making, this episode is for you. Free Live Masterclass Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating (Even When They Know Better) Discover the 5 hidden love traps that keep women stuck in painful relationship patterns and learn how to make wiser, more self-honouring decisions in dating. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 142. Why Dating Feels So Confusing: The Three Voices That Show Up On Every Date | 31 May 2026 | 00:31:54 | |
Have you ever left a date feeling completely conflicted? Part of you feels excited. Part of you feels anxious. Part of you wants to see them again. And part of you feels relieved it's over. In this episode, I explore why dating can feel so confusing and how different parts of ourselves can interpret the exact same situation in very different ways. Drawing on concepts from Schema Therapy, I introduce three key voices that often show up when we're dating. You'll learn how old wounds such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness and people-pleasing patterns can quietly influence attraction, decision-making and relationship choices. I also explore common dating coping modes including Most importantly, we'll look at how to strengthen the Wise Self - the part of you that can step back, gather information, spot red flags, honour boundaries and make healthier relationship decisions. In this episode you'll learn:
Resources Mentioned: Love Wisely Foundations 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 141. The Early Signs of Control in Relationships - Red Flags You Should Never Ignore | 21 May 2026 | 01:01:13 | |
In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the early warning signs of controlling, narcissistic and potentially coercive relationship dynamics - particularly the subtle behaviours that many women dismiss, minimise or explain away in the beginning. This episode is not about blame. It is about prevention, awareness and learning to trust yourself earlier. Gemma breaks down:
Gemma also discusses:
Most importantly, this episode highlights why early recognition matters. The sooner unhealthy dynamics are recognised, the easier it becomes to protect your sense of self, your wellbeing and your future. In this episode:
🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 140. People Pleasing in Relationships - The Psychology Behind Why You Put Others First | 06 May 2026 | 00:44:51 | |
Why do some people constantly put others first, struggle to say no, worry excessively about upsetting people, or feel guilty for prioritising themselves? In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the deeper psychology behind people pleasing through a schema therapy lens. This is not simply about being “too nice.” People pleasing is often a learned survival strategy rooted in early relational experiences, attachment dynamics, fear, guilt, conditional acceptance and coping styles developed in childhood. Gemma unpacks:
This episode also explores:
If you often:
…this episode will likely resonate deeply. Mentioned in this episode Gemma also shares details about her upcoming self-study program: 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 139. Dating Apps: Why They Feel So Hard and How to Navigate Them | 28 Apr 2026 | 00:49:41 | |
Dating apps can feel like a bit of a horror show at times. But underneath the frustration, the confusion and the endless swiping… there’s something much deeper going on. In this episode, I explore how your schemas - particularly abandonment, defectiveness, emotional deprivation and people-pleasing patterns - can shape:
I also walk you through a more grounded, intentional way to approach dating apps - not as “dating platforms,” but simply as introduction tools. Because real dating doesn’t happen on the app. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 138. The Love Paradox: Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner - And How to Break the Cycle | 07 Apr 2026 | 01:34:07 | |
This episode is a special one - I’m sharing the audio from a recent live masterclass where I walk you through the deeper psychological patterns that drive attraction, and why insight alone often isn’t enough to change them. If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or self-absorbed partners - even when you know better - this episode will help you understand why. I explore what’s happening beneath the surface, and what it actually takes to begin shifting these patterns from the inside out. What you’ll learn
This episode is for you if…
These patterns are not random - they are shaped by deeper, often unconscious processes. And once you understand them, you can begin to shift them. Want to go deeper? If this episode resonates, I also share more about my Love Wisely group coaching program inside this training. It’s a 12-week experience designed to help you:
🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 137. 10 Healthy Dating Rules for Women Who Tend to Over-Give | 17 Mar 2026 | 00:42:25 | |
If dating tends to bring up anxiety, self-doubt, people-pleasing, or the urge to lose yourself in someone else, this episode is for you. In this practical episode, I’m speaking directly to women who tend to be very giving, very empathic, and very accommodating in relationships, but who often struggle to stay connected to themselves while dating. If you have a history of subjugation, self-sacrifice, under-entitlement, loose boundaries, or worrying too much about being “too much” or “too needy,” dating can quickly become stressful and confusing. You may find yourself focusing more on whether the other person likes you than on how you actually feel. In this episode, I walk you through 10 clear dating rules to help you feel calmer, more grounded, and more self-protective in the early stages of dating, without becoming closed off or guarded. This is about dating in a way that helps you stay connected to your own needs, your own feelings, and your own experience. In this episode, I cover:
Key themes in this episode: This episode explores how schemas such as subjugation, self-sacrifice, abandonment, emotional deprivation, and under-entitlement can quietly shape the dating process. It also highlights a more grounded and emotionally healthy approach to dating: Dating is data. Rather than treating every date like a test of your worth, this episode encourages you to slow down, gather information, notice how you feel, and assess whether the other person is truly right for you. If this episode resonated: If you’ve been enjoying the podcast, I’d be so grateful if you left a quick review on Apple Podcasts. It really does help more women find the show. And if this episode made you think of someone in your life, feel free to share it with them. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 136. What If Your Partner Struggles With Emotional Intimacy? - Listener Q&A | 11 Mar 2026 | 00:33:14 | |
In this episode of Healing for Love, I respond to a thoughtful question from a listener who describes a relationship that is supportive and stable - yet something important is missing. Her partner is kind, affectionate, and easy to live with. But when it comes to emotional conversations, he rarely initiates them. Over time, she has begun to feel emotionally alone in the relationship. This is a surprisingly common dynamic. Many people find themselves in relationships where their partner cares deeply but struggles with emotional expression or emotional dialogue. The question then becomes: is this simply a difference in style, or does it signal something deeper about compatibility and emotional needs? In this episode, I explore how to think about this situation from both perspectives. We discuss:
Sometimes the most important shift is moving away from the question: “How do I change my partner?” And instead asking: “What kind of emotional life do I want to live in my relationship?” If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your emotional needs are “too much,” this episode will give you a thoughtful framework for understanding what’s really going on. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 135. How Can I Heal from Relationship Regret? | 09 Mar 2026 | 00:36:16 | |
Hey, if you'd like to reduce your chances of future relationship regret, then come to my free live training: Join here Have you ever looked back on a past relationship and thought: Why did I stay so long? Relationship regret can be incredibly painful. Many people find themselves stuck replaying the past, analysing every decision and blaming themselves for how things turned out. But in this episode, I explain why this mental loop is not actually helping us heal. In psychology, the “should have, could have, would have” pattern is known as counterfactual thinking. It’s a form of rumination where the mind tries to solve an unsolvable problem - the past. And while it feels like we are trying to understand what happened, what is often happening underneath is emotional avoidance. Beneath regret there is usually something much more vulnerable: Grief. Grief about the relationship. In this episode, I explore:
I also look at an important reframe: Relationships are often our greatest teachers. Even the painful ones can reveal important truths about our emotional needs, our patterns, and the schemas that shape our relationship choices. When we approach our past with compassion rather than self-blame, we open the door to healing and to making wiser choices in the future. If this episode resonates with you Many of the women who join my Love Wisely program come with this same question: "Why did I end up in relationships like that?" Inside the program we explore the deeper psychological patterns behind attraction, schemas, and relationship choices - and how to create healthier relationships going forward. You can learn more about Love Wisely on my website. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 134. My Top 5 Dark Red Flags in Dating (Part 2) | 02 Mar 2026 | 00:37:43 | |
In Part 2 of this series, I continue unpacking the darker red flags that often show up early in dating – the ones that are easy to dismiss but costly to ignore. These are not minor quirks. They are patterns that predict future control, manipulation, blame-shifting, entitlement and emotional instability. In this episode, I explore:
If you’ve ever felt confused, slightly uneasy or pressured in early dating but talked yourself out of it – this episode is for you. I also share details about the upcoming round of Love Wisely, beginning April 16, and how you can join the priority list. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 133. My Top 5 Dark Red Flags In Dating (Part 1) | 27 Feb 2026 | 00:32:29 | |
Not all red flags are equal. Some signal incompatibility. In this episode, I’m breaking down the first three of my Top Five Dark Red Flags in Early Dating - the traits that, in my clinical experience, rarely improve with time and often predict controlling or deeply problematic relationship dynamics. If you’ve ever found yourself:
This episode is for you. I explore:
I also explain why what you feel in your body matters - and how to recognise when someone is testing your compliance rather than building real connection. This is not about demonising people. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| BONUS - Healing your Inner Child Meditation | 15 Feb 2026 | 00:29:07 | |
Here's a nurturing gift for you Let me know if you'd like more meditations like this 🩷🩷 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 132. Emotional Needs in Relationships: Why You Feel Unfulfilled in Love | 28 Jan 2026 | 00:49:58 | |
Many women struggle in relationships without ever being taught one essential truth: you are allowed to have emotional needs. In this episode of Healing for Love, Gemma explores the concept of core emotional needs through a schema therapy lens and explains why unmet needs sit at the heart of so many repeating relationship patterns. You’ll learn how unmet emotional needs shape schemas like abandonment, emotional deprivation, subjugation, self-sacrifice and approval-seeking and why these patterns often lead women into relationships that feel unsafe, one-sided, controlling or emotionally barren. This episode is especially relevant if you have ever:
Find out all about the six core emotional needs Key Takeaway A healthy relationship is not about chemistry or intensity. Work With Gemma
🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 131. No Matches, No Dates - Is Something Wrong With Me? | 15 Dec 2025 | 00:42:15 | |
In today’s episode, I answer a short but powerful question that came in anonymously: “Hi Gemma, I cannot even get a match, let alone a date. What the hell is wrong with me?”If you’ve ever stared at a dating app wondering why nothing is happening and quietly concluded “it must be me”, this episode is for you. I'll look at three key areas:
I’ll invite you to:
If you’re feeling discouraged or asking “what’s wrong with me?”, I want you to know: you are not the problem. Dating apps are hard and your current results say nothing about your deeper value or your capacity for a healthy, loving relationship. In this episode, you’ll learn:
Resources mentioned:
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| 130. What Emotionally Available Partners Actually Do | 08 Dec 2025 | 00:43:18 | |
We hear the term “emotionally unavailable” all the time, yet many women are not sure what the opposite actually looks like in real life. In this episode, Gemma breaks down emotional availability in clear, practical terms, so you can recognise it early, feel safer in your body and stop settling for relationships that leave you guessing. Gemma also explores how schemas like Emotional Deprivation and Abandonment shape what feels “normal” in love, why emotionally safe partners can feel boring or suspicious at first, and how you can slowly retrain your nervous system to relax into healthy connection. In this episode, you will learn:
Gemma finishes with an invitation to reflect gently on your past connections without self blame, and to see emotional availability as something you can both recognise and build, inside yourself and with a partner. If this episode resonated, please leave a rating or review in your podcast app so more women can find Healing for Love. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 129: The Real Dating Mindset: 10 Shifts That Protect You From Old Patterns | 24 Nov 2025 | 00:55:15 | |
Dating can stir up every schema you have. If you have a history of emotionally unavailable partners, narcissistic relationships or spending years in situationships that never really went anywhere, getting back out there can feel both hopeful and terrifying. In this episode I walk you through ten grounded mindset shifts that help you stay in Healthy Adult mode while you date so you can notice red flags, take in green flags and stop abandoning yourself in the process. I talk about:
This episode is for you if:
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| 128. The Sorry Reflex - Why You Apologise (When You Don’t Need To) | 15 Nov 2025 | 00:32:53 | |
In this episode, Gemma unpacks The Sorry Reflex - the automatic urge to apologise, even when we’ve done nothing wrong. Rooted in the subjugation schema, this coping behaviour often begins in childhood, where expressing needs or disagreeing felt unsafe. When our nervous system equates disapproval with danger, “sorry” becomes a way to stay safe and connected. Gemma explains how this pattern shows up in dating, relationships, and everyday interactions - especially for women conditioned to be accommodating. You’ll learn to identify your triggers (tone changes, sighs, silence), notice the body’s reaction, and experiment with opposite action to retrain your nervous system. You’ll also hear a real-life success story from one of Gemma’s Love Wisely group members, plus guidance on combining schema therapy and EMDR to heal the deeper beliefs beneath chronic apologising. If you’re tired of shrinking yourself, over-explaining or feeling guilty for taking up space, this episode will help you shift from “sorry” to self-trust. Takeaways
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| 127. Can they change? Two Essential Qualities That Make It Possible | 05 Nov 2025 | 00:41:05 | |
If you are asking can this improve, this episode gives you a simple lens. Gemma unpacks two essential capacities that predict whether change is possible in a relationship. You will hear why the brain repeats what is familiar, how schemas drive loops and how to assess real readiness for growth in yourself and in someone you are dating. In this episode
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| 126. Inside Limerence (Part 2): From fantasy to freedom | 17 Oct 2025 | 00:34:03 | |
What limerence really is, why it hooks into our deepest unmet needs and how to gently unhook using a schema-therapy lens. In Part 2, Gemma explores limerence as a preoccupying, often intoxicating state that’s fueled by unmet needs - with abandonment and emotional deprivation schemas usually at the core. She explains why the brain’s reward systems (hello, dopamine) and a quieted prefrontal cortex can hijack rationality, making red flags easy to miss. You’ll learn practical, compassionate ways to reduce rumination, interrupt mental loops and begin reparenting the vulnerable parts that long for consistent care. Gemma also speaks to when limerence turns into a relationship (and why those tend to be high “schema chemistry”) and offers realistic hope for moving toward grounded, secure love. Key takeaways
Practical steps you can try
Mentioned in this episode
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| 125. Inside Limerence (Part 1): The psychology of the crush that won’t quit | 06 Oct 2025 | 00:33:02 | |
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight 🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Feb '26 💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Self-Worth Healing Bundle If you’ve ever been mentally and emotionally stuck on someone - checking for “signs,” fantasising a future and riding waves of hope and anxiety, then you may have experienced limerence. In Part 1, Gemma explains what limerence is (and isn’t), why uncertainty and fantasy make it so sticky and why the real issue isn’t the person (the “limerent object”) but your unmet emotional needs. You’ll also hear where the concept came from and why it’s often confused with attachment or “true love.” In this episode, you’ll learn
Key takeaways
Try this (starter steps)
Teaser for Part 2 Resources mentioned
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| 124. Narcissism Explained: What to Watch For in Relationships | 30 Sep 2025 | 00:46:37 | |
What you’ll learn
Try this - self-check prompts on a date
Resources & links
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| Inside Love Wisely: A Heart-Centred Journey to Rewrite Your Love Template | 14 Sep 2025 | 00:05:24 | |
Enrollments are Open, Doors Close Wednesday 17th 11:59PM (AEST) In this short bonus episode, I’m giving you a clear picture of what’s inside my 12-week group coaching program, Love Wisely, which begins Wednesday, September 24th. This program is for women who are ready to break free from old relationship patterns - especially the pull toward emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners and finally rewrite their Love Template so they can choose relationships that feel safe, secure, and deeply fulfilling. Here’s what you’ll receive inside Love Wisely: Most importantly, Love Wisely is heart-centred. It’s designed to meet you exactly where you are. Whether you’re dating, taking a break, or feeling disillusioned, you’ll feel nurtured, supported and guided every step of the way. We begin September 24th and finish on December 17th - the perfect time to complete the program before the holiday season and walk into the new year with clarity, confidence, hope and a plan! 👉 Doors close Wednesday, September 17th at midnight. Enrolment details are in the show notes. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 123. The Fears That Hold You Back: 5 Limiting Beliefs Keeping You From Healthy Love | 13 Sep 2025 | 00:42:55 | |
Gemma answers the most common questions she’s received about Love Wisely and widens the lens to address the deeper fears and limiting beliefs that stop women from changing their relationship patterns. You’ll learn how schemas (like abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness/shame, subjugation, approval-seeking and unrelenting standards) quietly shape attraction, tolerance, and your choices and what it looks like to shift from fear-driven decisions to wise, Healthy Adult decisions. What You’ll Learn
Women who want a healthy, emotionally available relationship and are ready to stop repeating patterns with unavailable or narcissistic partners. Resources & Next Steps
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| 122. The Catch-22 of Attraction: Why We Want Love but End Up with Distance | 09 Sep 2025 | 00:45:26 | |
When your heart wants closeness but your “old map” keeps pulling you toward distance, you’re stuck in the Catch-22 of attraction. In this episode, Gemma explains how early schemas quietly shape who you’re drawn to, why “chemistry” so often points you toward the familiar (not the healthy), and what it takes to consciously rewrite your Love Template so you can choose emotionally available partners. In this episode, you’ll learn
Key takeaways
Try this this week
Resources & next steps
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| 121. When “Staying Friends” Costs Your Self-Respect: Trauma Bonds, Avoidant Partners & Letting Go | 01 Sep 2025 | 00:39:07 | |
In this episode What we cover
Try this (listener worksheet prompts)
Resources mentioned
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| 120. The Rescuer Complex: Why Saving Them Won't Heal You | 25 Aug 2025 | 00:29:49 | |
Why do caring, empathic women end up doing the heavy lifting in love, staying out of guilt and “rescuing” partners at the expense of their own needs? In this episode, Gemma unpacks the unconscious pull to fix others, how childhood patterns (self-sacrifice, subjugation, emotional deprivation) set the stage, and the real cost of over-functioning. You’ll learn how to shift from “fixer” to “feeler,” build healthy entitlement, and make self-supporting choices, even when guilt shouts loudly. Key Takeaways
Try This (Journal Prompts)
Resources Mentioned
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| 119. Your Past Relationships Are Trying to Tell You Something… Are You Listening? | 11 Aug 2025 | 00:41:22 | |
Every past relationship leaves clues. In this episode of Healing for Love, I’m walking you through 6 powerful reflection questions to help you see your love life more clearly and prepare you to approach dating in a new way. These are the same questions I explore with my Love Wisely clients, because when you understand your patterns, you can finally break them. The 6 Questions: This isn’t about blame! Don't get self-critical or judgmental, this is just about clarity. Because clarity is the first step to creating a different future in love. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 117. How She Stopped Choosing Emotionally Unavailable Men - A Real Case Journey | 22 May 2025 | 00:50:53 | |
Meet Sophie, a 37-year-old woman who spent years feeling stuck in painful relationship cycles. Like many women I work with, she kept attracting emotionally unavailable or narcissistic men — despite knowing, deep down, that something wasn’t right. In this episode, I’ll walk you through Sophie’s journey: from identifying her relational schemas (like abandonment, emotional deprivation, and subjugation), to understanding how her childhood shaped her “love template,” to the powerful moment she made a clear commitment to change. We’ll explore how she:
This transformation is exactly the kind of work we do inside Love Wisely. If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why do I keep ending up in the same kind of relationship?” — this episode is for you. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 116: Why Do We Minimize Harm in Relationships? Understanding the Psychology Behind Tolerating Abuse | 02 May 2025 | 00:58:52 | |
In this important solo episode, Gemma reflects on a disturbing real-life conversation overheard between two teenage girls — one of whom casually describes being physically assaulted by her boyfriend. What follows is a powerful deep dive into why girls and women downplay harmful, even abusive, behaviour in relationships. From shame, trauma bonding, and fear of judgement to deeply rooted schemas like abandonment, defectiveness, and subjugation, Gemma explores the internal and social forces that keep so many women stuck — and why prevention, education, and early recognition matter more than ever. What You'll Learn:
Gemma also shares practical reflection prompts, including:
👉 If this episode resonates with you, or you wish you had trusted yourself sooner in the past — this one’s especially for you. 💡 Bonus: If you’re interested in doing the deep work to break free from painful dating patterns and build safer, more secure relationships, sign up for early access to Gemma’s new 12-week group coaching program, Love Wisely — starting Mid June 2025. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 115 – Healing for Love: Why Reparenting Your Abandoned Inner Child is the First Step to Secure Relationships | 22 Apr 2025 | 00:44:35 | |
In this episode, Gemma explores one of the most foundational concepts when it comes to healing relationship patterns, the abandonment schema. Whether you're currently dating or in a long-term relationship, understanding your own abandonment schema and how it influences your emotions, choices, and reactions is essential for cultivating emotional safety and secure connection. Gemma explains:
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| 114. Are You Dating As Your True Self — Or a Coping Mode? | 07 Apr 2025 | 00:43:39 | |
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| 113. The Mailbox – Healing from the Mother Wound: Letting Go of the Hope That Keeps You Stuck | 19 Mar 2025 | 00:26:18 | |
In this mailbox episode, we dive into a listener question from Amy (name changed for privacy), who is struggling with the trauma bond with her narcissistic and emotionally neglectful mother. Amy shares her experience of emotional neglect, manipulation, gaslighting, and rejection—all while navigating the complicated reality of trying to maintain boundaries.
This is a deeply validating episode for anyone struggling with a difficult or narcissistic parent. If you’ve ever felt stuck in an unhealthy dynamic, confused by your mother’s inconsistent behavior, or burdened with guilt for setting boundaries, this discussion is for you. 🔗 Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 112. Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Six Questions to Help You Reconnect with Yourself | 07 Mar 2025 | 00:46:50 | |
In this episode, Dr Gemma takes a deep dive into one of the most common and persistent life patterns—people-pleasing. If you've ever found yourself constantly prioritizing others' needs over your own, struggling to say no, or feeling exhausted from always trying to keep the peace, this episode is for you. She explores: These six foundational questions are designed to help you: If you’ve been a chronic people-pleaser and you’re ready to start shifting this pattern, this episode will give you practical first steps to create real change. Resources & Links: 🔹 Learn more about The Red Flag Project: theredflagproject.com https://podcast.feedspot.com/australian_psychology_podcasts/ 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 111. Seven Deadly Sins of the Narcissistic Dater: Red Flags You Can’t Ignore | 12 Feb 2025 | 00:47:45 | |
Episode Description: These signs often reveal themselves early—sometimes even on the first date. Recognizing them before you get emotionally invested can save you from heartbreak and manipulation. These behaviors aren’t just annoying quirks—they’re significant predictors of toxic relationship patterns. I also share 2 real success stories from women who’ve identified these red flags early, broken their old patterns, and found secure, emotionally available partners. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 108. Which Life Script Do You Want to Let Go of This Year? | 02 Jan 2025 | 00:37:17 | |
Happy New Year! In this first episode of 2025, Gemma invites you to reflect on the life scripts and recurring patterns that no longer serve you and take intentional steps toward rewriting them. Life scripts are the unconscious stories and patterns that shape how we think, feel, and behave, often holding us back from living authentically and joyfully. By unpacking and letting go of these outdated narratives, we create space for personal growth, healthier relationships, and a life aligned with our true selves. In This Episode, Gemma Discusses:
As we begin 2025, this episode is your invitation to reflect, reset, and take steps toward letting go of the old scripts holding you back. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| ENCORE + More: 73. Six Strategies for dealing with difficult relatives over the Holidays | 22 Dec 2024 | 00:51:49 | |
Welcome to the final Episode for this year! We will be back with new episodes in 2025. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 107. The Guilt Game: Inside The Martyr Mode | 11 Dec 2024 | 00:33:23 | |
In this episode of we dive deep into the "martyr mode," a coping style often discussed in schema therapy. We explore what it means to have a martyr complex or mode, how it shows up in relationships, and the emotional dynamics that fuel this behaviour. Key topics covered include:
Whether you're navigating a relationship with someone in this mode or noticing these patterns within yourself, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies for creating healthier dynamics. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to FOLLOW the show and share it with others who might benefit from this discussion. 🩷LOVE WISELY GROUP - Join the Priority List 🎓LOVE WISELY COURSE - $50 off until 31 Oct. Instance access - use Coupon Code: LW50 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
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| 106. Healthy Adult Daily Practice: An Intentional Reflection Tool | 06 Dec 2024 | 00:19:54 | |
Healthy Adult Daily Practice: An Intentional Reflection Tool In this episode, Gemma introduces a practical tool called Healthy Adult Daily Practice, designed to help you strengthen and nurture your Healthy Adult mode. Building on the foundational features of the Healthy Adult mode discussed in the previous episode, this episode walks you through a simple, intentional practice that can be integrated into your daily life to promote emotional resilience, self-awareness, and healthier relationships. What You'll Learn in This Episode:
By engaging with this tool, you'll build greater self-awareness, foster healthier relationships, and develop the emotional resilience to face life's challenges with confidence and clarity. Reflection Questions for Healthy Adult Daily Practice:
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| 105. 7 Essential Characteristics of the Healthy Adult Mode | 27 Nov 2024 | 00:51:47 | |
In this episode, Gemma dives into the cornerstone of schema therapy: the Healthy Adult mode. This is the part of us that represents balance, wisdom, and compassion—our best self that helps us navigate relationships, emotions, and life’s challenges effectively. What You’ll Learn:
Why This Episode Matters: Understanding and strengthening your Healthy Adult mode is central to breaking unhelpful patterns and living authentically. Gemma shares practical insights and strategies to help you embrace this transformative aspect of yourself. Resources Mentioned:
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| 104: The Good, the Bad and the Bond: Understanding Trauma Bonding. | 18 Nov 2024 | 00:47:31 | |
In this solo episode, Gemma dives deep into the concept of trauma bonding, shedding light on why some people feel emotionally tethered to unhealthy or toxic relationships. Drawing from listener questions she explores the psychological mechanisms behind trauma bonds, including the powerful dynamic of the "good-bad ratio" and how it can replicate patterns from childhood. Gemma also discusses how schemas—such as abandonment, mistrust/abuse, and defectiveness—can make individuals more vulnerable to trauma bonding and highlights the role of manipulative behaviors like love bombing, gaslighting, and boundary-pushing in these relationships. If you've ever wondered why it’s so hard to leave a toxic relationship or felt stuck in cycles of abuse, this episode is essential listening. Topics Covered:
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| 103. A Deep Dive into the Self-Sacrifice Schema | 06 Nov 2024 | 00:39:51 | |
This episode will resonate with anyone struggling with an overdeveloped sense of responsibility to others and those who feel “stuck” in cycles of overgiving.
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