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Bringing back a crowd favorite to the pod… my mom @lisawhelchel!
She & I debated back and forth about what topic should we cover together and when we couldn’t land on one we chose to let the fates decide!
I threw up a question box on my Instagram Q&A and you guys delivered with some fascinating prompts
Ya lobbed a few easy ones like ”who was your first celebrity crush?” and
“what quality do you admire most in another individual”
Sprinkling in some medium-spicy - “If you had a warning label what would it say?” and “what is the sound that drives you crazy?”
Then turning on the heat with a few like asking “am I the black sheep of the family?” and talking about an activity/experience we have shared as adults that would have sounded impossible to me as a kid.
Tune in to the full episode to hear our responses.
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Aaron! Takeover: Living The Dream?
Season 2 · Episode 26
Monday, September 23, 2024 • Duration 53:14
It’s your favorite…. An Aaron! Takeover
What does it mean to “live the dream”? Most people might say…
💰 Financial security
💼 Career Fulfillment
⛳️ Freedom
🏥 Health
🏆 Personal Accomplishments
☮️ Contentment
Dreams create hope
And hope leads us to the future
I think being able to dream together is one of the most important things we can do
But not just dreaming… we need to act on them
Together we discuss as a couple…
How do you build shared dreams?
How do they evolve over time?
Have you ever had a dream die? What happened?
How do you straddle contentment and ambition?
What current dreams are you working toward?
What are our dreams for our family?
But my favorite one he asked…
“What dream are we living right now?”
I always love it when @aaronweits is the guest as we just follow his train of thought - and let’s just say he takes it all over the place, haha
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What's In A Name? What your name says about you, your origin, and who you will be in this world with guest Erwin McManus
Season 2 · Episode 17
Monday, May 20, 2024 • Duration 01:00:21
“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.”
That reference is of course a line written by William Shakespeare from the play Romeo and Juliet to convey that the naming of things is irrelevant.
But, I want to explore that.
My friend has a theory that asking someone “how did you get your name?” is an noninvasive way to hear about their origin story and a way to learn a lot about them. It taps into past generations of humans with how we are given our names - while it is a seemingly benign question, it possibly can be an astute window into the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.
My guest for this episode, Erwin Raphael McManus, speaker & author of “Mind Shift” has a very unique name as well as backstory so I thought he’d be the perfect person to test this hypothesis.
Throughout the episode he answers questions like…
If your name wasn’t given with meaning, how do you bring meaning to it?
What do you do if you don’t like your name?
Do women lose parts of their identity in taking their husband’s name?
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Origin Story of the Haven! Podcast
Season 2 · Episode 16
Monday, May 6, 2024 • Duration 48:08
It's been one full year since I've launched this pod!
I still get the question of "what made you want to start a podcast in the first place?" so I thought it would be fun to take it back to my "why" and also go into the greater concept of origin stories.
Did you know that research says that who you are before the age of 5 is likely your "truest self"? Unless you had something very traumatic impact you within that time frame, you were typically the most authentic, raw, and real version of your personality.
Before socialization, peer pressure, outside influences, and other environmental factors you were blissfully un-self aware and thus free to just BE.
So, how do we in adulthood look over our shoulder at our past self and appreciate that little version of us, but also take forward some of the necessary lessons life taught us since then?
I bring in the person who has known me for over 20 years and has seen the evolution of many versions of me in that time frame - my husband & best friend Aaron Weits.
Together we talk a bit about how childhood interests and personalities can be a window into what brings us even true peace & joy in adulthood.
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The Mentor/Mentee Relationship
Season 2 · Episode 15
Monday, April 22, 2024 • Duration 43:12
What comes to mind when you think of mentorship? Oftentimes we picture the one-on-one type scenario like in Star Wars where Qui-Gon Jinn mentored Obi-Wan Kenobi who then later on matured and took Luke Skywalker under his wing.Yet, that can sometimes feel like a lot of pressure - to wait to be chosen by someone who sees something in you. Or, on the inverse side, it can be really difficult to select someone you want to invest your time & intention into that will truly benefit from your experience. I bring in my long-time (going on 10 years!) mentor in business, Mike Abercrombie, and we explore how mentorship is largely accidental. We discuss questions like - what is the difference between mentorship and coaching? What are the characteristics needed in a mentee? And, how do you know when you're ready to switch from mentee to mentor? Overall, you may find it to be less formulaic than we initially perceive and you can have micro-moments of mentorship in each stage of life.
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Learning Emotional Literacy as an Adult
Season 2 · Episode 14
Monday, April 8, 2024 • Duration 54:46
"Oh, are you feeling frustrated?"
"That sounds really frustrating..."
There are so many other words to express emotions other than "frustrated" but why was that the only one that what was coming to mind when I was trying to teach my toddler what was happening in their body?
Disappointed, jealous, embarrassed, angry, ashamed - those are way more on the mark and elicit an entirely different and appropriate response.
I realized that I may be emotionally illiterate - not only to identify and name the emotions, but to understand how they operate within my brain and psyche.
These are some of the conversations I've been having with Angel McNeil, the nanny who watches my kids and is currently studying these concepts in her Graduate program, so together we explore the science behind emotions, how to move through 8 of the most difficult ones, and overall hopefully scratch the surface of Emotional Literacy 101 together.
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Gentle Parenting-Ish
Season 2 · Episode 13
Monday, March 25, 2024 • Duration 40:22
The "gentle parenting" movement is all the rage right now.
At its core, gentle parenting is all about the relationship. It's talking about treating your child as a dignified human worth respect and choice all meanwhile teaching them emotional literacy and tools for how to handle the big feelings in their little bodies.
Many of us millennials entering into child rearing eras and are determined to do things differently than how we were raised during a more authoritarian time. So, of course, erring on the side of valuing the relationship as the most important component is enticing and alluring - but has the pendulum swung to far in the other direction?
Are we doomed to be sitting by the door during a meltdown saying "Yes, I hear you don't want to put your socks on... Sure, you wish you didn't have to wear those..." ad nauseam until they're late for school and we're late for work?
Tune in as I dive into this topic with my friend and child psychologist, Gaia Althsuler, to hear about the pros / cons of this movement and the middle ground of "gentle parenting-ish" where I find myself as a parent.
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Relational Tune-Ups
Season 2 · Episode 12
Monday, March 11, 2024 • Duration 42:36
Anyone who’s been in a relationship for a while knows that sometimes you need to have a quick assessment with your partner of “How are we? Are we okay? Are you happy? Is there any way we can be doing things better?”
Just like routine car maintenance - it’s important to pull off the highway from time to time and really check things out, ideally before a check engine light comes on.
In this episode I bring in my husband of 11 years and we go through some tools from our relational tool kit we have learned throughout the years, primarily from our marriage counselor…
Using a drive-through method to hear each other’s needs
The difference between a critique versus a complaint
The power of wording - “You’re annoying” vs “You’re behavior is annoying me” vs “I’m annoyed”
The littler version of your partner in your head
We also land that at some point you need to stop over-analyzing all the ways you could potentially improve and just enjoy the ride together!
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Reading The Room
Season 2 · Episode 11
Monday, February 26, 2024 • Duration 53:22
"Come on, man, read the room..."
We've all heard some variation of that phrase at some point in time. It typically means someone assessed a situation incorrectly before behaving and then the disconnect was palpably felt by the others in the group.
But, I have noticed that, when asked, most people they would say they DO have the ability to read a room correctly.
My question is - is that really true? Can people accurately interpret the energy, behaviors, undertones, and body language in a sociological manner?
I bring in my friend Mebra and we talk a bit about what is required to hone in on this skill (curiosity, self awareness, and a bit of humility) and what it feels like to be read by someone (depends on who is doing the reading, doesn't it?)
Ultimately, it is important to tap into this ability, but what you DO with that information is far more valuable.
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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support
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Aaron! Takeover: Labels
Season 2 · Episode 10
Monday, February 12, 2024 • Duration 40:21
IT’S A TAKE-OVER!!
My husband Aaron is my #1 requested return guest so we took it a step further and let him entirely take over this episode. I had no clue what direction he wanted to go in… I just showed up on the couch and was along for the ride.
Ultimately he wanted to explore the topics of labels together - some labels we are proud of, they make us feel giddy or older or special. While other labels can stick to us in a way that we don’t want to be known for or identified with.
Why do we feel misunderstood when given labels we don’t think we align with? When is the appropriate time to label things - in the moment or in hindsight? We explore a few of these questions together and also share some of our favorite DTR (define the relationship) memories from years ago.
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