Lynn shares her trauma history, and then opens up on a deep and detailed level about hiring a sex worker to save her marriage. Because no one in her family talked about sex or bodies, for much of her early life, she believed that her vagina was a fatal birth defect.
Lynn is a 49-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, NOT straight, mostly monogamous, married, and peri-menopausal. She describes her body as "very average."
Sex workers can play a critical role in sexual healing. It's a safe space with clear boundaries, and without the emotional charge (or baggage) often built up with a partner. A sex worker can help you overcome resistance to pleasure, focus on sensation, and figure out what *does* feel good to your body. And some do work with couples.
- Lynn's first memory of sexual pleasure occurs at age 9, with the accidental placement of a blanket between her legs on a hot summer night. Her surprise discovery leads to a serious misconception but she knows not to ask questions.
- She experiments with touching and kissing with her best friend, trying to figure things out with the benefit of sex ed.
- As her home life falls apart in her teens, Lynn falls prey to attention of older men.
- She leaves home at 16 and gets married, in order to escape things at home. Things are good at first, but when she gets pregnant, he gets violent.
- Lynn meets her second husband. He is wonderful and so is the sex, but life quickly throws a few wrenches into the works.
- The lack of sex in the marriage destroys their emotional bond.
- Lynn tells her husband he has permission to see a sex worker to get his needs met. He resists…at first.
- After some deep introspection, she suggests an alternate set of plans to her husband to celebrate their upcoming anniversary—involving Lynn visiting the sex worker.
- Lynn discovers her body is not, in fact, broken.
- They go to the sex worker together for their anniversary. Much unfolds from this and subsequent sessions with the sex worker.
- Lynn shares about the medical help and therapy she sought before turning to a sex worker, and her fears of social disapproval.