Explore every episode of the podcast Gay Orphans
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ep. 9 - "Girls Trip to Hell!" (w/ Ru Anderson) | 15 dĂŠc. 2025 | 00:57:24 | |
Letâs fucking GâORPH. We have the brilliant, hilarious RU ANDERSON in the gorphanage! The three tall kings of comedy get into growing up in a Wiccan home, the merits of TERF-free quidditch, Lily Allenâs break up album, religious trauma, and the orphansâ hot takes on plastic surgery. We go down the rabbit hole of Lagree, grill Ru on what itâs like to grow up in a loving home and unpack Ruâs fears of blonde-on-blonde couples. | |||
| Ep. 8. - "Don't Bury the Ghoul" | 08 dĂŠc. 2025 | 01:04:40 | |
A one-eyed dog got abandoned in a backpack on Hayâs doorstep on their birthday, Cara drops tea about her former clown college and what what itâs like to divide up the wigs in a lesbian breakup. We do IFS therapy on each other (not really) and explore estranged parent Tik Tok. Subscribe on Patreon to look Winx in the eye! | |||
| "Big R-Word Energy" (w/ Harper-Rose Drummond) | 01 dĂŠc. 2025 | 01:10:48 | |
Okay you might say the So You Think You Can GâOrphan!? guest series premieres! Our bad cousin Harper-Rose (Tea Time pod, LMFAO standup) visits and we go a little feral talking about her star of a mother, Harpyâs sordid past with Cara, the worst uncles we know, the plight of being a real bisexual, and Hayâs first relationship ever with a gogo dancer named Sugar. We also talk to a dog sometimes⌠consider that a teaser!! | |||
| Ep. 6 - "Straight Wet Women" | 24 nov. 2025 | 00:57:05 | |
Cara is heartbroken but honestly thriving, as in we can't afford an in-patient facility so we went to a 24-hour Korean spa where we were too loud, The g'orphans also talk about shamans, dark jokes with Zoom therapists, actually good parents on Drag Race, and the health benefits of squ*rting. Hay has a blowout and Cara is wearing press on nails for some reason which you could see if you paid us even five beautiful dollars on Patreon! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/ Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com | |||
| Ep. 5 - âTrigger Warning to Myselfâ | 18 nov. 2025 | 00:48:36 | |
Okay so sometimes you start a podcast 10 years into comedy and then you go through a breakup⌠and honestly, thatâs pretty funny. Itâs somewhat Eeyore Oâclock again during what is ultimately a comedy podcast where we discuss: Hayâs mom ruining tarot for them, if weâd be good parents, and we get a huge update from the parental alienation syndrome Facebook group that might change everything. Our Patreon has bonus content! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/ Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com | |||
| Ep. 4 - âThe Healing MLMâ | 10 nov. 2025 | 01:03:05 | |
The gâorphans went to a show! Hay and Cara got to meet a celebrity, Hay got in a fight with a merch guy, Cara got revenge, and then Hay got shy for the first time this calendar year. We make a financial plan for our future and it might involve your dad - go visit him if youâre so worried. We also leg wrestle in this ep and the results are shocking. Our Patreon has bonus content including watching this historical gay leg battle! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/ Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com | |||
| Ep. 3 - âMy 3-Year-Old Objectified Meâ | 03 nov. 2025 | 01:02:53 | |
This week we discuss childhood bullies (starting with our mothers), how abusive families is like team sports, and Cara is now identifying as hard R She/Her/Hers. Hay talks about how ugly their soft butch mom is, and we read posts from the estranged parents Facebook group (read: delabubu narcissists support group) - and to be clear we switched outfits from the previous recording and thatâs why weâre talking about each othersâ sweat so much. Our Patreon has bonus content including seeing our stupid outfits! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/ Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com | |||
| Ep. 2 - "Gen Z Rising" | 27 oct. 2025 | 01:01:04 | |
We discuss the sapphic line dancing trend after Cara got force-femmed at a queer line dance night, the general situation that is the city of Portland, and we read submissions from a support group for parents whoâs kids wonât speak to them and try to help the best we can tbh. Watch the full video on Patreon! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/ Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com | |||
| Ep. 1 - âThis is a Comedy Podcastâ | 20 oct. 2025 | 01:05:29 | |
A family estrangement comedy podcast if you can believe it! Hay Beacon and Cara Connors are somehow both self-designated orphans and not even cause theyâre gay. The gâorphans (sorry) go over their comedy origin stories, similar tattoos (a$$es come out) and how they discovered they are both long time no contact kings with their birth families and not even cuz our families are homophobic, but just because they suck. Weâre kind of living in the future in that way and youâre welcome to join us on what is a absolutely a comedy podcast! Watch the full video on Patreon! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/GayOrphans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gayorphanspod/ Email us your own gay orphan story: gayorphanspod@gmail.com | |||