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Explore every episode of the podcast For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive
Dive into the complete episode list for For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Football Clichés has moved! Here’s where to find us… | 12 Oct 2023 | 00:01:20 | |
After three years and 262 glorious episodes for The Athletic, the Football Clichés podcast is moving to a new home.
The back catalogue will stay right here for you to revisit but Adam, Charlie and David’s exploration of the language of football (and beyond) will continue here: https://lnk.to/kdWOMyTA
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| The end of an era | 31 May 2023 | 01:00:19 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and - in his final appearance - David Walker for the closing Adjudication Panel of the season. On the agenda: the Premier League's "Pure Referee's Name XI", a deep data dive on footballers' appearances on celebrity TV shows, the criteria for "waltzing through" a defence, a textbook end-of-season rallying cry from Sean Dyche and Richard Keys' Premier League predictions revisited.
Meanwhile, the panel decide who is and isn't allowed to be included in the "spine" of a team and enjoy David's best bits from his three years of the Clichés pod.
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| 'He's got his goal', the 'family club' criteria & ChatGPT's Streets Won't Forget XI | 27 Apr 2023 | 00:43:06 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: More surname-based goal celebrations, football punditry's equivalent of a solar eclipse, Erling Haaland and the most “he’s got his goal” goal ever scored, destiny brings together two Clichés listeners on a dating app and ChatGPT attempts to compile a "Streets Won't Forget" XI.
Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes a "family club" and assess the worst fictional footballer in the history of American straight-to-TV love films.
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| Corrie kit crimes, unplayable strikers and training-ground naming conventions | 21 Jun 2022 | 00:52:07 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker convene for the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda: some semi-convincing football small talk on Coronation Street, Frank Lampard's accurate portrayal on Football Manager, the most training-groundy training ground name possible and what we mean when we say a striker is "unplayable on their day."
Meanwhile, the panel humour some desperate close-season projects: calculating the precise UK coordinates of the average Premier League goal and a definitive 92-club league table of how acceptable it is to say "for my sins" after declaring who you support.
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| Touchline bust-ups, Pro Evo commentary and "dislocated shoelaces", with Lawro | 16 Jun 2022 | 00:49:56 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Liverpool defender, European Cup winner and long-serving BBC pundit Mark Lawrenson or, as simply everyone knows him, Lawro.
Among Lawro's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are managerial touchline bust-ups, referees making players walk over to them to get booked and, of course, "players squealing when they get tackled".
Meanwhile, Lawro discusses the cultural reach of his now-retired BBC predictions column, his curious Pro Evo 2010 commentary and that alleged on-air falling-out with Guy Mowbray during a live World Cup game.
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| Robo-linos, basement boys England and the future stars of Soccer Aid | 14 Jun 2022 | 00:58:52 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: celebrity baker Paul Hollywood, Rolls-Royce cricketers, The Killers playing Carrow Road, England's Nations League relegation dogfight and a look at the curious annual phenomenon of Soccer Aid.
Meanwhile, the panel decide if Liverpool's signing of Darwin Nunez qualifies as "a statement of intent" and what makes a fit-again player "like a new signing".
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| Flimsy transfer language, the "super sub" threshold and Hojbjerg vs Egg | 07 Jun 2022 | 00:51:49 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller assemble for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: football talk creeping into cricket and darts, the flimsiest possible language used for transfer speculation, Thibaut Courtois' ongoing war against the content creators and Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg giving his verdict on some Korean food.
Meanwhile, the panel define the parameters for a "super sub" and discuss the current state of mid-game Mexican waves.
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| The dying art of the stepover, and superficial footballing superstitions, with Dotun Adebayo | 01 Jun 2022 | 01:01:16 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by host of the Brazilian Shirt Name Podcast, 5 Live presenter, Charlton Athletic supporter and existential philosophy enthusiast Dotun Adebayo
Among Dotun's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the dying art of the stepover, the misunderstood application of 'philosophy' in football, superficial footballing superstitions and the 0-0 draw.
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| The evolution of goalkeeper celebrations and "the pause before the roar", with Conor McNamara | 31 May 2022 | 01:20:40 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by BBC commentator Conor McNamara for the latest instalment of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Conor's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the precise techniques of goalkeepers' goal celebrations, the "pause before the roar" that commentators are trained to fill with expert timing and the tricky logistics of pre-match team huddles.
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| Great Escapes, double guards of honour and the body language of Erik ten Hag | 25 May 2022 | 00:55:50 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and James Maw assemble for this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the true definition of a "Great Escape" (and why Everton and Leeds don't qualify), Erik ten Hag's rough start at the hands of the UK's only body-language expert, a dubious double guard of honour in Spain and the final Keys & Gray Corner of 2021-22.
Meanwhile, the panel establish the two types of footballing "prowess" and examine a Watford coach's very curious end-of-season compilation video.
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| Muted celebrators and magnanimous managers: The Classy Touch XI | 19 May 2022 | 01:09:09 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker explore the curious coverage of footballers' gestures of humanity by selecting the most traditional "classy touches" on and off the pitch, from goalkeepers refusing to celebrate their freak goals against their opposite numbers to the complex art of muted celebrations.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel compare some charmingly obscure official club merchandise and one listener gets in touch to vent his fury about the way footballers clap.
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| Going down in instalments, Eurovision's "big five" and a stunning football chant discovery | 17 May 2022 | 00:47:18 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Eurovision's football parallels, perhaps the greatest ever real-life case of a goal-shy striker "needing one to go in off his backside", the true definition of "going down in instalments" and an astonishing chant by fans of Bishop's Stortford FC from 2007.
Meanwhile, the panel discuss whether it is acceptable for a fan to wear a signed shirt to a match and share their disbelief over Alastair Campbell's 2018 football/terrorism novel "Saturday Bloody Saturday".
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| The Pure FA Cup XI | 12 May 2022 | 00:52:32 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke select the most magical all-time FA Cup line-up of all, with fierce competition in goal, a rollercoaster of Cup fortunes in defence, a truly romantic midfield, a cast-iron choice up front and one very unfortunately-named referee to keep them all in line.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel decide whether Man City's deal for Erling Haaland is the most last-piece-of-the-jigsawy signing of all time and wonder how much longer Aston Villa Football
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| Sting in the stands, quickfire topical chanting & the velocity of a wounded duck | 25 Apr 2023 | 00:47:41 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a handball-appeal hat-trick at Ipswich, the most “left on the halfway line to defend when your team has a corner” player ever, a brand new option for shot-velocity metaphors, the quickest turnaround for a topical chant in Premier League history and the BBC take on Sky in a "Sting spotted in the stands at Newcastle" pun-off.
Meanwhile, the panel debate why the word "delivery" is exclusive to set pieces or crosses and what the threshold should be for away fans demanding a refund.
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| Pundits on the beach, pantomime crowd noises & the language of balls vs woodwork | 10 May 2022 | 01:01:40 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller form this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this time: the Spanish media rattled by an unexpected English voice, the number of departing players needed for a "fire sale" or a "clearout", a spectacular hat-trick of curious penalty punditry, the most pantomime crowd noise of the season, and why Schalke should adopt the Birds of a Feather theme tune as their pre-match anthem.Meanwhile, the panel semi-successfully attempt to establish The Official Scale of Terminology for the Ball Hitting or Missing the Woodwork.
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| Swashbuckling centre-backs & mercurial wingers: The Classic Adjective XI | 05 May 2022 | 00:50:58 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker select a lineup of the most classic footballer-related adjectives, from "eccentric" goalkeepers to "impish" forwards via "talismanic" midfielders.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel pick out the classic protagonists of a textbook pitch invasion, cast doubt over the Premier League futures of some emerging transfer-gossip stars and take a deep dive into Richard Keys and Andy Gray's 2002 appearance on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
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| Wine for Jose, premature calm-before-the-storm-ing and Keysey in "Big Saino's" | 03 May 2022 | 00:50:58 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda this time: Snooker players wearing their "scoring boots", the enduring mini-obsession with managers buying Jose Mourinho a bottle of wine, the definition of a footballing "linchpin", positions that footballers can be "by trade" and a concerning instalment of Keys & Gray Corner.
Meanwhile, the panel debate when a club is allowed to tweet "The calm before the storm" ahead of a big game and the complex threshold at which it is acceptable for a live TV game to focus on the stadium scoreboard.
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| Off-duty Peter Drury, Big Sam's call of nature and mistranslating Mourinho, with Ned Boulting | 28 Apr 2022 | 01:03:02 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by sports broadcaster and author Ned Boulting for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Ned's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are his good friend Peter Drury, the unique tenses used in footballspeak, the misunderstood Jose Mourinho and elite players' obsession with golf.
Meanwhile, Ned reveals how he pioneered the divisive art of pre-match TV poetry and the mundane secrets of interviewing footballers.
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| Gilt-edged penalties, managers kicking every ball and the proverbial Row G | 27 Apr 2022 | 00:53:40 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for another Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this time: some wholesome commentator giggling, Netflix dramas getting in on the Clichés act, Channel 4 winning the rights to England games this summer, which Premier League manager "kicks every ball" the most and who Richard Keys thinks should have got the Manchester United job.
Meanwhile, the panel ask: can a penalty ever be “a gilt-edged chance”?
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| The Football Clichés Quiz IV | 21 Apr 2022 | 00:48:39 | |
In the fourth instalment of the Clichés quiz, reigning champion Charlie Eccleshare aims to become the first to successfully defend the title as he takes on mandatory challenger James Maw.
They battle it out over five rounds, including Players Who Somehow Didn't Play For That Club, Wikipedia “Style of Play” sub-sections and, as tradition dictates, the potentially pivotal football clichés round.
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| A voyage into dreamland, hockey commentary gold & predicting half-time interviews | 19 Apr 2022 | 00:59:13 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are back for another Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the precise criteria for a team being in "dreamland", the #classiest football photo ever taken, some surprise commentary from the top table of European hockey and the most Richard Keys tweet ever constructed.
Meanwhile, the panel dismantle a very curious depiction of modern football from Sidney Sheldon's 2004 crime thriller Are You Afraid of the Dark?
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| The Trademark Goal XI | 14 Apr 2022 | 00:52:53 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox use their vivid footballing imaginations to put together a team of industry-standard goalscorers, from goalkeepers venturing up for last-minute corners to inverted wingers cutting inside to do the inevitable.
Among the big decisions to be made in this 4-3-3 lineup are: Why are left-backs more spectacular than right-backs? Just what do managers really mean when they challenge a midfielder to "add goals to his game"? When does a "curler" become a "pearler"? And what constitutes a classic No 9's goal in the year 2022?
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| Combovers, Surname-ball and Andy Gray's Beef Olé | 12 Apr 2022 | 00:57:25 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for another Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a novel new word for a near-post flick-on, examining football's classy new fad of crest-respecting, the most Australian co-commentator of all time, and a bumper instalment of Keys & Gray Corner.
Meanwhile, the panel discuss which manager was the first to earn themselves the "Surname-ball" honour, what makes a player an "old warhorse" and what exactly constitute "the basics" in football.
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| Maracana phoneboxes and "the zone of elaboration", with Tim Vickery | 07 Apr 2022 | 00:58:39 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by the BBC's South American football correspondent Tim Vickery for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Tim's selections for his footballing loves and hates are traffic-stopping post-match celebrations, the relentlessness of the Brazilian football calendar and impatient, vertical football
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| The Overmythologised XI | 20 Apr 2023 | 01:04:09 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox to compile a lineup of players whose myths, auras and internet legacies have eclipsed their mortal footballing existences.
The selection process takes in cartoon goalkeepers of the 1900s, defenders who played on one leg for half their career, "Scholes, of Manchester", a midfielder who defined both an entire role AND sparked the most boring football debate of all time, the token striker who was good on a computer game when you were 15, an 8,000-word Wikipedia page and the big question: Zlatan or Eric?
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| Superman's goalkeeping, Gary Neville's favourite phrases & Brighton's 25.8% urge-to-shoot record | 05 Apr 2022 | 00:58:09 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker line up for this week's Adjudication Panel.
On the agenda: Gary Neville's two favourite phrases in the English language, Brighton's Graham Potter finally loses patience with a traditional crowd noise, Antonio Conte wins a weird little trophy and some commentary highlights from the footballing weekend.
Meanwhile, the panel look back at some 2013 predictions for the team that will win England the World Cup on Qatar and decide, once and for all, the exact lyrics to that song teams sing when they're jumping up and down after winning a title.
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| Tenuous booing reasons, Frasier's football film and the most England-y World Cup draw possible | 31 Mar 2022 | 00:59:16 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for a bonus edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Jeff Stelling's Soccer Saturday U-turn, Kelsey Grammer's new football film and a look ahead to what England can almost certainly expect in the World Cup draw.
Meanwhile, the panel assess some spectacularly sketchy reasons for booing footballers during a game.
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| Gareth Bale's mantelpiece, Peter Drury at the darts & the Pure Masters Football six-a-side team | 29 Mar 2022 | 00:50:21 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the definition of the footballing verb "to slot", unexpected commentator accents for far-flung World Cup qualifying matches, what it means to be "a sleeping giant" and a vintage, non-football slice of Peter Drury.
Meanwhile, to mark the forthcoming return of Masters football, the panel put together the definitive six-a-side lineup of accessible, still-got-it over-35s to grace the "iconic" blue pitch.
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| Cup final songs, pre-match TV poetry and Robbie Keane's dreams, with Séamas O'Reilly | 24 Mar 2022 | 01:15:55 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Nick Miller are joined by bestselling author and columnist Séamas O'Reilly for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Séamas' selections for his footballing loves and hates are the demise of the FA Cup final song, the underrated but anatomically awkward Irish legend Robbie Keane, the filler content of the average footballer's autobiography, pre-match TV poetry and the depraved depths of the chat boxes on illegal livestreams.
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| Leyton Orient's staunch stanchions and how to celebrate like you've won the league | 22 Mar 2022 | 00:52:06 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller line up for this week's Adjudication Panel. On the latest agenda: An unexpected podcast tribute from US high school ice hockey, a revelation about Leyton Orient's unique goalframes, the threshold for "celebrating like you've won the league" and an actually quite reasonable opinion from Richard Keys.
Meanwhile, the panel try to establish the official [Manager X’s Team Y] Premier League Table, with "Sean Dyche's Burnley" the favourites on paper to take the title...
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| Maisie Adam on vuvuzelas, greasy burgers and managers 'doing a Bunty' | 17 Mar 2022 | 01:17:45 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by comedian and Leeds United fan Maisie Adam for the latest instalment of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Maisie's selections for her footballing loves and hates are the 2010 World Cup's much-maligned vuvuzela, England's stubbornly outdated matchday food offerings and managers who just can't let their old clubs go.
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| A certain Mr Tom Brady, Wout Weghorst's scrapbook and a steak dinner with Richard Keys | 15 Mar 2022 | 01:05:51 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form this week's Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Premier League Net Noise of the Week, NFL legend Tom Brady being spotted at Old Trafford by literally everybody, some glorious crowd sounds from Elland Road and Richard Keys' favourite home recipe.
Meanwhile, the panel examine just who is "well within their rights" to shoot at goal and from where, and which stadiums qualify to be a "famous old ground".
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| The Generic Modern Football XI | 10 Mar 2022 | 00:56:07 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke combine their footballing intellects to perform a stock-take of football in 2022 and select the most generic lineup possible.
Among the anonymous figures on the teamsheet are a short-sleeved, side-volleying goalkeeper, a press-resistant walking yellow card of a midfield fulcrum, a false-false No 9 and a standout managerial candidate to lead them out in their bowl-shaped out-of-town megastadium...
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| Roy Keane's upper register, technical-area testiculation and allowable olé-ing | 08 Mar 2022 | 00:58:35 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker line up for the Adjudication Panel. This week's agenda includes: the latest overblown Sky Sports punditry, Roberto Carlos finds himself in a Shropshire village pub, reviewing the debut crime thriller by Mesut Ozil's agent and, of course, Keys & Gray Corner.
Meanwhile, the panel establish the parameters for a team's goal to be "living a charmed life", disagree about bicycle kicks and undertake some forensic analysis of some historical Premier League olé-ing.
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| Match of the Day's Robyn Cowen on applauding crossfield passes and footballers who don't look like footballers | 03 Mar 2022 | 00:53:09 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Nick Miller are joined by Match of the Day commentator Robyn Cowen for another edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Robyn's selections for her footballing fascinations and irritations are the weird things that we mindlessly clap during matches, the obsession with the Match of the Day running order and the futility of pre-match interviews with managers.
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| Beginner-level knee-slides, ChatGPKeys & the Match of the Day seagull | 18 Apr 2023 | 00:42:26 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel for the 250th episode of the pod. The agenda includes: the new world record for keepy-uppies, Rolls Royces at the snooker, horses finding pockets of space at the Grand National, the least textbook knee-slide celebration in Premier League history, a Match of the Day viewer uncovers some bizarre audio that nobody had ever noticed.
Meanwhile, the panel appraise the traditional vantage point of watching football from a nearby tree and try to define the classic footballing "departments".
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| Reggaeton referees, silenced MLS chainsaws and a weekend with Keys & Gray | 01 Mar 2022 | 00:54:39 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Nick Miller and James Maw gather for this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Jamie Redknapp's fury at Chelsea's penalty-shootout strategy, the surprise Latin origin of two full-back-related football phrases, a new twist for "the corridor of uncertainty", and some unparalleled crowd-silencing from Major League Soccer.
Meanwhile, the panel indulge in a bumper edition of Keys & Gray Corner, in which the Doha duo chart the last hours of Marcelo Bielsa's Leeds United reign.
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| Little eels, international breaks and Bum Bum Quagliarella, with James Richardson | 24 Feb 2022 | 01:10:13 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by the Totally Football Show supremo and acceptable face of golden-era Serie A, James Richardson.
James' selections for his fascinations and irritations of football include: the rivalry-defying joy of Fabio Quagliarella, Roma's rousing pre-match anthem at the Stadio Olimpico, commentators' innocuous but unacceptable turns of phrase, and his complex relationship with the beginning, middle and end of an international break.
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| Own goals: the final boss, Armbandmania and Maximum Peter Drury | 22 Feb 2022 | 01:05:49 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller convene for this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: where human civilisation can really go next after a perfect hat-trick of own goals, some very slightly overaggressive Scottish goal commentary from La Liga, Joe Cole and the genesis of the phrase "farmers league" and the latest tribute to intercontinental Premier League brand ambassador Peter Drury.
Meanwhile, the panel lament a mild outbreak of "Armbandmania" and bask in the glory of the once-in-an-era event that is Cameron Jerome, Connor Wickham and Saido Berahino all scoring on the same day.
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| Keane vs Souness & The Pure BeIN Sports XI | 17 Feb 2022 | 01:15:26 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker delve back into the world of football punditry to decide each UK broadcaster's definitive studio lineup, from ITV's settled squad to Sky Sports' waistcoated elite (via the freelance free-for-all of Amazon Prime Video.)
Meanwhile, the pod finally gets round to compiling the Pure BeIN Sports XI, the ultimate lineup of Keys-and-Gray-approved pundits.
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| Lineker does Lampard, staring down the barrel of a win and the definition of "swazz" | 15 Feb 2022 | 00:46:05 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker line up for the Adjudication Panel.
On the agenda this week: Gary Lineker's 6/10 Frank Lampard impression, the worst possible moment for a co-commentator to hail an unsung hero, the hotly-disputed definition of "swazz", the latest from Keys & Gray out in Qatar, and the panel ponder whether it is indeed possible to stare down the barrel of a win.
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| Rhys James on initiation songs, post-defeat Twitter apologies and the ubiquitous Dion Dublin | 10 Feb 2022 | 01:09:27 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by comedian and writer Rhys James for another edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Rhys's selections are the enduring tradition of initiation songs for new signings, the life and work of Dion Dublin and the internet conspiracy against people who just want to know what TV channel a game will be on.
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| "What is a half-chance?", sleeping with trophies and penalty shootout celebration etiquette | 08 Feb 2022 | 00:49:33 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the major trophies it would be most comfortable to share a bed with, the ongoing crisis of club-name abbreviations during live TV games and the official guidelines for post-penalty-shootout celebrations.
Meanwhile, the panel discuss the factors that define the threshold at which a goalscoring chance becomes merely a "half-chance".
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| Professor Sir Jonathan Van-Tam on metaphorical football matches and Gazza at Boston United | 04 Feb 2022 | 00:56:42 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by England's deputy chief medical officer and pandemic cult hero Professor Sir Jonathan Van-Tam for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Van-Tam's selections for his fascinations and irritations are the occasional accuracy of football films, the terrace humour down in the English sixth tier, weak referees allowing flagrant timewasting and the uniquely footballing anxiety that comes with "scoring too early".
Meanwhile, JVT shares memories of Paul Gascoigne turning out for his beloved Boston United, explains how he's convincing his family to let him have a BUFC tattoo, and we finally piece together the pulsating football match he used as his famous vaccination metaphor.
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| "In and around the Kremlin", Frank Lampard's Football Clubs & the January Transfer Window XI | 02 Feb 2022 | 00:41:50 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: A young fan's tin-foil Papa John's Trophy, trying to establish the criteria for answering the age-old question of "Who won the transfer window?" and picking apart Frank Lampard's first interview as manager of Everton (Football Club).
Meanwhile, the panel run through a "January Transfers That Just Sound So Right XI", captained by Aston Villa's Calum Chambers.
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| The Future Turkish Super Lig XI | 27 Jan 2022 | 00:57:40 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke mark the impending climax of the transfer window by embarking on an ambitious attempt to compile a line-up of players seemingly destined for a cultural cornerstone of modern European football: the Turkish top flight.
Among those whose careers are getting a speculative reboot are a back-up Premier League goalkeeper, an immobile but explosive left-back, captain Granit Xhaka finally finding his rightful home amid a 13-man melee at the Ali Sami Yen and the inevitable Andriy Yarmolenko - plus, there's a shock call-up for a man desperate to escape the vacuum between the Premier League and the Championship.
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| Pure Cliches: What makes a stadium a cauldron? & mundane FIFA animations | 16 Apr 2023 | 00:18:35 | |
With 249 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 69 to identify exactly what elements a stadium needs to make it a cauldron, and from episode 84 we provide the boffins at EA Sports with a raft of suggestions as to how they could improve FIFA by including the most mundane footballing animations possible.
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| "Come what February", Pep vs Pat and Lukaku's bangers | 25 Jan 2022 | 00:48:01 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker convene the Adjudication Panel once more.
On the agenda this week: A potential world record for “fans counting out how long a goalkeeper is holding the ball”, the enduring ding-dong battle that is Pep Guardiola vs Sky's Patrick Davison, Romelu Lukaku’s implausible plant-based protein promo patter, how a team "takes the sting out of a game" and excruciating football-crossover scenes from the Australian Open tennis.
Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Paul Merson artfully mangling an old cliché and guess how much Phil Dowd's referee shirt from the 2010 Carling Cup final is going for on eBay
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| Josh Denzel on fan-hugging etiquette, hapless stadium announcers and Turf Moor trips | 20 Jan 2022 | 01:07:39 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by sports presenter and 27th member of England's Euro 2020 squad Josh Denzel for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Josh's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are hugging random strangers after a goal, the various quirks of the Premier League's stadium announcers and away trips to Burnley.
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| Steve McManaman's iconic hands, silencing the snooker ultras, and the midfielder's union | 18 Jan 2022 | 00:50:35 | |
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda this week: more unique Serie A vocals, snooker's answer to mid-1990s Galatasaray, a £250 scale model of Steve McManaman (with four sets of "iconic" detachable hands), Andy Townsend reviews the Foo Fighters and one listener launches a spirited defence of long-distance runners making up the numbers at 5-a-side
Meanwhile, the panel run through football's proverbial trade unions, from the perennially paranoid Goalkeepers' Union to the surely unworkable Midfielders' Union.
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