Explore every episode of the podcast For A Pessimist I’m Pretty Optimistic

in the season three finale, i take a look back at season three with sentiment. i also talk about letting go of the past in perspective, retrospectively.

let's get real about intimacy.

just about two episodes away from the end of season three, episode twenty four is all about contemplations and reflections on diving timing.

this is a life update of how things have been the past week. it's been a mess honestly, but being mindful of the things i am grateful for and letting go of the things i cannot control is so important.

the cat's out the bag yet again in this one, let's talk fan fiction and get real.

in this episode, i'm giving my advice on finding closure after getting your heart broken. there are only so many ways heartbreak can happen, and it gets quite overwhelming as it does consuming for me sometimes. when it comes to finding closure, it isn't so far down the road and with time it comes easily. (trigger warning: brief mention of self harm)

diving right in to episode twenty of For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic's third season, it's all about success and the journey of it, what builds it, what feels like breaking in it, and the open doors of opportunity as the dynamics of success and creativity flow. it's not easy, but it's worth it to keep going.

this was quite an emotional topic for me to touch on! in episode nineteen, i talk about my journey with antipsychotics that lead me to a point of decidedly quitting. (tw: psychtic experiences are uncovered in detail and may be triggering to some)

For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic is back with another mental health episode. In this one, I'm talking about coping skills for bipolar psychosis that I was able to research about and how things have been as of lately when it comes to where I am in my mental health journey. Things have been really tough when it comes to overwhelming and distressing mental disability episodes. Still, I think it's important that I remember that coping is a practice that I can confide in when I feel that my mood shifts and psychosis symptoms may occur.

This episode is fun-packed and I'm absolutely excited to be talking about the idea of She's Just Not Into Him and how it kicked off to be an original romance novel. What started as my last ongoing fan-fiction idea, I had said goodbye to my fan-fiction era by coming into this new beginning that was this romance novel in the making which is the start of my journey as an independent author.

in episode sixteen of season three, I talk about healing the inner child, this idea of the inner child and my present self colliding in some of my moments in life

episode fifteen of season three brings more about the aroace spectrum and how I've resonated with it through life. celebrating my aroace visibility is so important absolutely, so i'm very excited to be delving into the second part with more aroace terms from such a useful resource; https://www.oulgbtq.org/acearo-spectrum-definitions.html. I'm also a bit emotional to talk about how being acquitted with the orientation was quite the challenge along with the play of societal things, yet it was so essential to who I am expressively, so here I am (again).

post-holiday break and respective withdrawals later, episode fourteen follows promptly about a spontaneous spark of an idea to release a side project, a self-help + personal development blog (with undertones of spirituality,) by me. what seems a bit like a dark and depressing title, isn't all that it seems when the light at the end of the tunnel isn't so far. in one of the most significant episodes of season three thus far, I introduce the origins of Tears, Fears, And The Years and how it became another commitment in my writing journey and how grateful I'd be if you were to come along.

episode thirteen is all about the aroace spectrum as i delve into the aspects within it and how i resonate with them.

Episode twelve of season three has finally arrived. What a whimsical blur as time has taken its flight quite quickly. About halfway into the season, already, oh wow. Here we are! In this episode, I discuss sobriety and relapse and their impact on my life, my passions and ambitions as a writer, wards, and an update on deity work when it comes to walking away from Catholicism and proudly wearing my heart on my sleeve when it comes to devotion and working with infernal and angelic realms.

In episode 11 of season 3, I talk about coping with psychosis delusions and how they can be quite distressing, sometimes I may not even be aware of them occurring at all. Also, I touch upon how psychosis PTSD can really feel a lot like emotionally spiraling. I also talk about breaking repetitive cycles when it comes to this mental disability; truth be told it's not easy at all! For me, it was a lot of sitting with my shadow and breaking my fear of doing so, and understanding the barriers my psychosis creates are breakable. With just a smidge of courage and a will to carry on, anything is possible.

This is something I've been working to do for sometime! After sometime in the broom's closet, and revisiting the memory, from time to time, I was completely not sure how I could be able to do so. Learning about how I can has been a goal of mine since I had done an oracle card reading on myself that indicated I should be able to find a balance between both my spiritual and physical life.

I first got The Complete Cthulhu Mythos Tales when I was twenty years old, and I decided to pick it up in my bookshelf about three years later. Here is my honest review of At The Mountains Of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft! I also share my thoughts about the passing of this cosmic horror author, and how he came into personal growth when it came to facing his past racist views and coming into a positive transformation by squashing these racial biases as a work in progress in his later years as a writer, and thus coming into absolution when he had resurrected into spirit in the spirit realm.

So, I had a brief manic phase and depressively crashed after what felt like a mixed episode, and I'm at a point of refusing to believe that the spur of my writing career is based off the manic impulse to create something. I'm coming to understand how I feel in this podcast episode, when it comes to the aftermath of yet another bipolar psychosis episode, and to be honest, I feel quite broken and melancholy. I am hoping to reach a point of acceptance and continuing where I left off, as frustrating and devastating this mental disorder is.

Dreamwalking is basically when someone is conscious and awake, yet is in a state between awake and asleep in which dreams can stream through somewhere in the spiritual matrix, and projected by the mind in vibrance and varying intensities. I was able to notice I could dream walk at around nineteen/twenty. Dreamwalking can sometimes be receiving dreams in a non-linear manner, so I hope folks know I am doing my best to explain it from the physical world!

I wrote something sentimental, something of a goodbye letter and a hello in spirit. If you're a directioner I hope this finds you, wherever you may be in the grieving process. This is for One Direction, their family, their friends, and the directioners who knew the heart and soul of Liam Payne so beautifully.

I'm definitely in dysphoric mania, and I open up about what it's like when it comes to the ins and outs of being in a mixed bipolar state, it's a lot of what I'd like to call brain splat which is this garble of blackout when the psychosis (psychotic features/symptoms) aspect to bipolar disorder intensifies. It's quite the mental health battle, and it's quite literally the most challenging thing about bipolar disorder yet I think. I also talk some more about my books that are soon to be published, which is Crescent and She's Just Not Into Him, and share some details about these worlds.

In this episode, as October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, I uncover my writing journey as a 21-year-old poet navigating heartbreak and life as I reclaim my narrative as a survivor of domestic abuse through my teen years, trickling into my twenty-somethings, starting with opening up as a victim of domestic abuse particularly. This is poetic justice for the young girl in me who deserved to walk away and was silenced, and this is poetry to free my heart and mind relentlessly, recklessly, and beautifully. If I can't burn it, then why write it? I can't be a dancing storm without my thunder and my lightning.

Mia's treatment journey began just early this year, as she finally set her skepticism aside and sought treatment for her bipolar psychosis. Generally defined, bipolar psychosis is: a symptom of bipolar disorder that occurs when someone experiences a loss of contact with reality and is unable to distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. She delves into talking about living with bipolar psychosis, and how her healing journey has panned out.

episode two is heavy as Mia opens up about where life truly was growing up as a writer with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and psychosis. she admits that life no longer felt the same as it once was so bittersweetly and how Mia was left with no choice but to retell her narrative in the best way after periods of severe dissociation. with surviving bipolar psychosis, appeared the opportunity to take back the narrative she lost before her treatment journey, and she does so with courage and coffee anxiety.

Kicking off season 3 of For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic, Mia deep dives into her journey writing horror in this spooky-wise first episode. She talks about the first time she wrote horror, and felt the inseparable inspiration to do so. She also talks about the countless horror spinoffs she wrote over the years and through the foundational time of her writing path; writing in the fan-fiction genre on Wattpad. She also shares wisdom with other writers who might want to start writing horror too!

Season 3 continues, and Mia is in the process of writing her first romance novel and her first contemporary poetry book to be published as an indie-author. She reminisces about fangirling, and how different she feels from that past participle of herself. Mia surely felt older, when manic depression and bouts of psychosis made its way into her life so chaotically it left her unable to cope. It left her unable to connect with what she loved to do for months, until she learned to love herself again, in turn learning to love writing like it was yesterday. She rambles about season 3’s direction a lot in this introductory episode.

In this episode I unravel loving yourself and why it’s important to hold this close to your heart.

in this episode I talk about shaving my head and why I shave my head.

in episode twenty of season two, I open up about what it's like being aromantic, the trials and tribulations of coming into the fore of aromanticism, and what it's like to own it and come to self acceptance about it. I also talk about crying and why it's important.

i’m a total sickadee chickadee in this unscripted episode, but i’m venting about venting and it’s pretty much what it’s all about…venting; and why it’s so freakin’ important!

in this episode, I'm doing a life update. and in all honesty, here I am reaching yet another rocky point in life, facing truths that come into the fore that is implementing self discipline especially when it comes to careless/rash decisions. I also talk about what motivates me on the other side of things, and why shadow work builds me to be a brave and strong person when it comes to facing traumas and finding closure to them.

in this episode, I delve into everything about free writing, the basics and the how-to's. from what it takes, to free flow, to the motivation and the drive, to writing without stopping or faltering, and welp, everything else, simultaneously, nothing at all. i think it's important to keep going, of upmost importance.

these divine collective readings focus on worldly perspective, universal change and development, independence, personal development, and emotional changes that swings with the whirls of this journey called life. I hope this inspires you and your journey, evermore, with the tides of times, as past, present, and future, connect us for this sliver.

this is a life for me at the time. i’ve been spiritually working a lot definitely, i’ve also been creating a bunch when it comes to painting and writing. I’ve also been working on my tumblog/website. things have been spiritually shifting for me as well in the best way honestly, and i’m really glad to be on this journey.

in this episode we are back with more tarot and Oracle Readings of Divine wisdom for our collectives who may resonate. I hope this inspires you and your journey.

In part two, I'm trying out a new Oracle deck I recently got, named Enchanted Art Oracle Cards. Here is a touch on Oracle readings, for the general collective who resonate with divinity in these messages of wisdom. I hope this finds you and inspires your path of spirituality.

These are some general tarot readings I pulled for the day, I hope these divine messages find you and uplift your path of enlightenment and healing.

talking about lately, and how rough it’s been. i think that it’s important how we come out of it that matters the most. as survivors of sexual trauma, it is important to take a stand and be able to grow.

Detoxing from social media is absolutely important and is indefinitely a form of self care too. Let’s delve into why it’s important and how this can be quite beneficial for those struggling with mental health issues.

witchcraft taught me that life is always changing, and that I myself am always changing. this journey within my heart is one for the road, and it's one for a lifetime.

intuitive tarot card reading begins with trusting your own intuition. without it, the messages that these cards provide may be unclear, hazy, or all in all inaccurate. our intuition is merely the feeling of inner certainty and reassurance of a resolution; subtle yet engraved in our hearts. practically, the wands, swords, cups, pentacles, and the major arcana is actually imbedded within every single one of us, though not seen with the eyes, it is within the spirit of our very soul; this mystical wisdom of the unknown.

it's all about self care in this episode, it's the essentials of it and it's also having a particular routine that can go the longest way absolutely!

the Christ Consciousness is within every one of us, it is in our deepest compassionate self, the self that looks past the ego, and anything that may be distracting us. Even our selfish ways can be only one of the many aspects that limits our Christ Consciousness, our ability and inner intuition to bring upon inner peace, empathize fearlessly, and much more that is in our heart of fire. Truth be told, is we all fear the unknown, we fear what we cannot begin to fathom and this debilitates and disables us from being able to reach a higher consciousness that may not be present all the time, but even the sense of its very past can too ignite the Christ consciousness time and time again as life unfolds everyday.

i talk about the difficulties and struggles that come with bipolar disorder and how to better cope with it for the days forward. though it may not always be easy, there will be moments it will feel easier and that definitely matters.

as much as i'd like to say that my tattoos actually hold the same meaning to me as they did once before, i can't. over the course of several months and so forth, the meaning of my tattoos have changed in this era of life.

this episode unravels the concept that is hypocrisy, the truth that is being a hypocrite even without saying so, and how life's journey can definitely contribute to this.

Hey there! Didn't mean to startle you, just popping in to say, you might have noticed season 2 of For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic had 22 episodes and now has 20 of them. Two episodes were removed for the reason they were not fully accurate to my present and I made the decision to just re-record these episodes that were removed and include them in season 3 instead.

introductory note: For A Pessimist I’m Pretty Optimistic continues to evolve with me as an optimistic pessimist, and a pessimistic optimist. so i’m excitedly rambling about it, capturing the mere surface of season 2 and its very direction. ahhh words. also, i reminisce on season 1 and when this pod was still a virgin. also did i just refer to myself in the third person in this pod’s description, yes. yes that did happen.

episode twenty five is all about the tattoos i've gotten so far and the meaning behind the ink with me forever. i'd take all of them to the grave with me, that's all i know for sure. i also brainstorm some ideas for potential tattoos, woot woot.