In this first Equal-ish coaching edit, we unpack our interview with Molly Millwood. We reflect on why today’s parents, especially mothers, are more stretched than ever, with full-time working mums spending more hours parenting now than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. We explore how social norms around “good mothers” and “good fathers” create impossible standards, and why reframing the question “what does it mean to be a good parent?” can transform household dynamics.We dive head first into one of the biggest relationship challenges Molly sees in her work: emotional disconnect. Why do men report feeling emotionally affirmed twice as often as women, and how can couples bridge that gap? 

Listen to hear some great practical coaching tips to build deeper emotional connection.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Read Brain Training: ⁠https://hbr.org/2023/11/how-paternity-leave-helps-dads-brains-adapt-to-parenting ⁠ 

Meet Kate & Rachel here: ⁠https://linktr.ee/equalish⁠ 

Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold today: ⁠https://www.mollymillwood.com/book⁠ 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.

Thank you,Rachel & Kate 

In this conversation with psychologist and author of To Have and To Hold, Molly Millwood, we explore how reciprocity in relationships can feel so hard to achieve. We unpack with Molly the subtle ways women are socialized to give away power, why women’s “free time” so often includes caregiving, and how unequal dynamics impact both mothers and fathers. Together we reflect the hidden costs for men who disconnect from early fatherhood, and the damage relationships can suffer if these imbalances go unaddressed.  

Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish 

Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold today: https://www.mollymillwood.com/book 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.

Thank you,

Rachel & Kate

In the inaugural episode of the Equalish podcast, meet hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs as we introduce our mission to help couples achieve a balanced household while navigating parenting and work.

In this episode, we explore

• The imbalance in household responsibilities between parents.
• How mothers are pushed into full-time work and household management roles.
• Why dads often feel isolated and are pushed away from caregiving roles.
• Equity at home is essential for achieving workplace equity for women.
• The journey to equality in parenting is challenging but possible.

Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.

Thank you,

Rachel & Kate x

Last week, we interviewed Zach Watson. Zach is an invisible labour coach who helps men understand and share the mental load of domestic responsibilities with their partners. And his interview gave us great fodder for this week’s coaching edit.  

1. Give yourself permission to fail. 

2. What words would you actually use with your spouse / partner? 

3. What to include in the weekly check-in. 

4. Why are men motivated to be equal-ish at home?

5. How to find your people, and find support. 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

Are men choosing to ignore the mental load because they subconsciously still believe it is women’s work? Rachel and Kate try to answer that question with this week’s guest, Zach Watson. 

Zach is a former middle school math teacher turned viral content creator and invisible labor coach for modern dads. Zach’s marriage nearly ended in 2018 because he was in default mode and letting his wife do it all. Now he talks very openly about how that happened, what he is doing to make changes, and why other men might be motivated to take household equality seriously. 

Known for his honest, often hilarious take on the mental load in parenting, Zach speaks from real experience. And as a result now has over 120 million views and a growing community of ‘recovering man-children,’ through sharing his practical tools and relatable stories.

Zach Watson Instagram

Zach Watson YouTube Channel 

Zach Watson Facebook

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Rachel and Kate are joined by Marvyn Harrison. Marvyn is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity. In today’s interview, Marvyn helps us all see the way that society closes gates for fathers… and what we can all do to change that. 

Discover Marvyn's community: https://dopeblack.org/

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview, launching next week. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

The household divide is greater than we think it is. It’s so much more than the physical tasks - it’s all the thinking and feeling work that goes along with the physical work. And that is why we feel it so deeply; we have an emotional reaction to household labor because household tasks are far more than cooking and cleaning.

Kate and Rachel are joined this week by Dr. Allison Daminger, an assistant professor of sociology at UW-Madison and the author of the new book What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. Her research focuses on how and why gender shapes family dynamics, particularly the division of work and power in couples. 

In this conversation, Kate & Rachel ask Allison all about cognitive labor (a term, by the way, that SHE defined) particularly in the context of parenting and household responsibilities. This interview was perfectly timed, as Allison herself is a new mom and, with her partner, is working to put theory into practice. 

Get your copy of What’s On Her Mind: https://www.allisondaminger.com/book 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this coaching edit, Kate and Rachel break down key themes from their interview with Marvyn. 

Marvyn Harrison is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity. 

1. The work starts with you… and continues with others 

2. We need to acknowledge that society makes parenting hard for men

3. Focus on who you are NOW - not the PAST You

4. What are the economics of Equal Partnership

5. Is it boundaries or balance that you need?

6. To be a great parent, you need to be a PALS first. Listen to find out exactly what that means  

Dad groups are new-ish! If you’re looking for one to join (or be inspired about starting your own) check out these existing groups: 

• Dope Black Dads

• All Parents Welcome 

• Andy’s Man Club

• Dad Matters

• The Company of Dads

• Brooklyn Stoller Club

• Dad Guild

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Want more language on the difference between cognitive labor, emotional labor, and the mental load? Check out this article by Kate.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have a crowdfunding campaign live for the next 2 weeks. We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

If the outcome you are seeking is equal partnership, why do mothers subconsciously put barriers up to it? Today Kate and Rachel talk “all things maternal gatekeeping” with Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, who is a Professor of Psychology at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio. She is a nationally and internationally recognized expert on coparenting, father-child relationships, and the transition to parenthood. 

Interested in learning more about Dr. Schoppe-Sullivan’s work? Find out more here. 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for one more week, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! You've got 8 days left to grab yourself a pair of Equal-ish socks! Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this episodes we tell you that that next we have Dr Sheehan Fisher talking about paternal mental health. That was the plan, but he's coming later in November now, first up we have George Gabriel from the Dad Shift.

Kate & Rachel wallow in all the nuances around gate keeping… including personal reflection that we do it too! Many women have been socialized to believe that to be valuable, they must maintain power and knowledge of the home. But this isn’t a great receipt for equal-ish households. Instead, Kate & Rachel suggest…. 

1. There’s no pretty way to say this: gatekeepers need to do some self-reflection. 

2. Look at your family’s roots. Where did you learn your patterns? Do you need a reboot? 

3. We need to regularly and intentionally interrupt social patterns. Decide together what words will we use when we notice gatekeeping going on?

4. Remembering that your family is a system, which includes family, friends, providers, and neighbors. And they all might have a role in gatekeeping or gateopening. 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for just one more week, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Women are socialised throughout their lives to be a mother. Meanwhile most dads won’t hold a baby until it’s their own. 90% of dads want to be more involved in their children's lives but we’re still prioritising a mother’s relationship with their children over a dad’s. Insufficient paternity leave is having serious consequences for families, men’s mental health and our ability to feel like equal partnerships.  

In today’s conversation, Rachel and Kate speak with George Gabriel, CEO and co-founder of The Dadshift, about the importance of paternity leave and the changing landscape of fatherhood. We explore the challenges faced by new fathers, the need for supportive policies, and the cultural narratives surrounding masculinity and fatherhood. 

The Dad Shift is just one of a number of organisations campaigning for better parental leave rights. Find out more, and support the work that all these incredible campaigns are doing. If we’ve missed any, do tell us!

• The Dad Shift

• Pregnant then Screwed

• The Fatherhood Institute

• Working Families 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

We’re told the UK has paternity leave, but the reality for families says otherwise. Kate and Rachel reflect on what George Gabriel, co-founder of the Dad Shift, shared about how outdated systems, mixed messages and cultural norms are holding dads back, and what that means for the emotional and practical load inside relationships. This is the truth behind paternity leave, and why change matters for every couple.

Here are some of the statistics we shared to help your personal business case for your paternity leave: 

• For organisations offering “paid family-leave” (which covers parental/paternity) more than 80% reported a positive impact on morale, and more than 70% reported increased productivity. Boston Consulting Group

• 80% of employees report they feel more committed to their employer when they have access to flexible family-friendly policies (including enhanced parental leave). Inspiring Dads

• 74% of employees said they were more likely to continue working for their employer.

• 43% of UK employers now offer enhanced parental leave and pay rates (i.e., above statutory minimums). Employee Benefits  

The Dad Shift is just one of a number of organisations campaigning for better parental leave rights. Find out more, and support the work that all these incredible campaigns are doing. If we’ve missed any, do tell us!

• The Dad Shift

• Pregnant then Screwed

• The Fatherhood Institute

• Working Families 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Today Kate and Rachel talk to psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts to explore the distinctions and intersections between couples therapy, coaching and facilitation - and when to reach out for extra support.  

(Spoiler alert - we all need it. And the practitioner you find is as important as the process you choose). 

If you like Sarah, you can find her services here. 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

Using father’s mental health as a starting point, Dr Fisher emphasized that it is really the “family system” that requires our attention. Kate & Rachel love this, and devote today’s coaching edit to go deeper into what family system caretaking looks like. 

1. He might not be fine, even if he says he is fine. 

2. Everyone can, and does, experience trauma. Fertility issues and difficult births affect all parents. 

3. It is not just about taking paternity leave, but HOW you take it. 

4. It is never too late to rebuild your team. If something isn’t working, don’t give up. Bring in a new offensive coach and swap out your talent.

5. Kids can reinforce sexism, too! We need to be intentional about combatting stereotypes even with our own kids. 

You can find more about Dr. Fisher’s work and practice here.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Pregnancy and birth should be all about mom, right? Well - no, not really. In this episode Kate and Rachel talk to Dr. Sheehan Fisher from Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. Dr Fisher is a paternal mental health specialist - and agrees that mom’s health needs to be at the core of the conversation. But it’s good for ALL of us when we ALSO take into account dad’s health needs. 

Dr Fisher is an Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. His research and clinical interests focus on father’s mental health during the perinatal period and their impact on the family dynamic and child outcomes. Dr Fisher’s research examines the hormonal and socio-environmental factors that contribute to the etiology of postpartum depression in fathers and mothers. In turn, the impact of paternal and maternal postpartum depression on parenting behaviors and infant/child outcomes is investigated. His clinical work specializes in behavioral therapies for fathers and couples during the perinatal period.

You can find more about Dr. Fisher’s work and practice here.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Kate and Rachel dig into the interview with psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts, turning a rather theoretical interview into practical actions. Why should we expect to change? How can we change together? How can we have these hard conversations with each other without playing the blame game and getting defensive?

1. You are both going to change. 

2. It’s not “you vs them.” Think of it as “us vs the pattern.” 

3. Empathy is everything. 

4. How to re-write your own script.

If you like Sarah, you can find her services here. 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Discovering concepts like mental load, matrescence, and motherhood ideals really can fundamentally reframe your understanding of parenting as a partnership.

In today’s conversation, Rachel, Kate talk to Alex Trippier, host of the Be a Happier Parent podcast about his fatherhood journey, the strain young children put on his relationship, and the turning point—from believing he was an “involved dad” to realising he had completely missed the invisible emotional, cognitive and cultural pressures shaping his wife’s experience. It’s time to redefine fulfillment as a father beyond achievement and into meaningful family connection.

Here are two of the Be a Happier Parent episodes that we referenced in our interview: 

The magic of caregiving with Elissa Straus 

What do dads do? With Steve Biddulph

These are the books Alex referenced:

• Matrescence by Lucy Jones

• Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

• Beyond Baby Talk by Rachel Childs

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

In the final episode of the season (and year!), Kate and Rachel unpack three themes that surfaced in their conversation with Alex Trippier and reflect on what the past year of Equalish has taught us about navigating parenthood and partnership. The discussion explores why parenting demands a process-driven mindset, why being a strong parent doesn’t automatically make someone a strong partner, and how couples can move out of echo chambers and into real dialogue.

• Parenting Is a Process, Not a Results Game

• Being a Great Parent vs. Being a Great Partner 

• Getting Out of the Echo Chamber 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this After the Interview episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino unpack the conversations they couldn’t stop thinking about after speaking with behavioural economist Dr Corinne Low. Corinne Low, PhD is an associate professor of business economics and public policy at the Wharton School, and the author of Having It All (Femononics in the UK).

We reflect on what it really means to bring “ruthless practicality” into how we choose partners, and how we raise children who might one day want equalish relationships of their own. From the hidden economics shaping how couples value time, money, and care, to the emotional backlash many women feel when they invest time in themselves, this episode explores the tension between rational decision-making and deeply ingrained social norms.

We sit with some of the hardest questions the data raises: 

• why the years when childcare and household labour peak are often the most strained for relationships

• how easily these conversations can slide into gender blame 

• whether outsourcing domestic work genuinely lightens the load, or simply shifts responsibility and privilege elsewhere.

There are no easy answers here. Just honest reflections on how couples are trying to navigate love, work, parenting, and fairness inside a system that was never designed to support them.

Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

In this episode of Equal-ish, Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs are joined by economist and author Dr. Corinne Low, whose book Having It All blends rigorous data with deeply human stories about work, love and parenthood.

Corinne takes us inside the economics of the modern household — explaining why gender equality at home has stalled, why parenting time has exploded, and why women’s stress and burnout aren’t personal failures but predictable outcomes of a broken system. Drawing on time-use data, labour market research and behavioural economics, she unpacks the myths we still cling to: from romanticising the 1950s household to assuming equality will “sort itself out.”

Together, we explore invisible labour, status quo bias, reproductive capital, and the parenting “arms race” that’s making family life feel impossible — especially for working mothers. Most importantly, Corinne offers a practical, empowering reframe: how women can stop trying to “lean in” to a broken system and instead renegotiate work, partnership and parenting on more sustainable terms.

If you find yourself asking: Why does this still feel so hard, and what can we actually do about it? This conversation is for you.

Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com 

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this first After the Interview episode of Equal-ish, Kate and Rachel reflect on their conversation with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands, and explore the tensions that lingered once the microphones were off.

We explore what happens when couples are encouraged to “support the career that earns more”, and why that logic might reinforce traditional roles rather than disrupting them.

In this conversation we unpack:

• Why money decisions are never just economic

• How our money scripts (shaped by childhood, gender norms and past experiences) quietly drive conflict

• How income differences can turn into power imbalances

• Why focusing on efficiency can erase ambition, identity and care

• Why missed caregiving time is a loss we rarely measure

Rather than offering tidy answers, this episode invites you to hold the complexity. We leave you with this one question:  

What decisions are you making now that the future you might regret?

Find out more about Modern Husbands here:

• Modern Husband’s website

• Modern Husbands: Family Financial Planning Calculator  

Subscribe and Follow to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Achieving balance in both parenting and finances can feel overwhelming for couples. In this episode of Equal-ish, hosts Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino delve into the importance of teamwork in financial management with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands. Join us as we explore how childhood experiences shape our money habits, how gender norms around money, care, and breadwinning quietly shape our relationships — and often limit both partners.

Brian shares:

• Why he defines equality as equal leisure time, not 50/50 task lists

• How outdated breadwinner expectations still shape men’s choices (and anxieties)

• Why early childcare and career decisions compound financially for decades

• How couples can think of their household as a shared micro-economy

• Why money conflicts are rarely about money — and what they’re really about instead

This conversation offers a grounded, emotionally honest look at what it really takes to build a fair, sustainable partnership in modern family life. Find out more about Modern Husbands here:

• Modern Husband’s website

• Modern Husbands: Family Financial Planning Calculator 

• Dr. Claudia Goldin’s research on the gender pay gap

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Explore the science of modern parenthood, attachment, and partnership during our reflections from our interview with evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin. Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to our Most Fundamental Need. She is the lead scientist for the new dating app LoveJack.

In the coaching edit, Kate and Rachel go deeper into the science, and the practical implications, of what equal parenting really means, offering key insights for couples who want to parent as a true team.

Key Takeaways:

• Dads are naturally caregivers – Emotional detachment in fathers is socially constructed, not biological. Fathers’ hormones respond to caregiving, just like mothers’.
  

• Attachment matters – Children thrive with multiple attachments; strong parental bonds support resilience and pro-social behavior.
  

• Emotional intimacy fuels parenting – High emotional connection between partners increases confidence and involvement in dads.
  

• Invest in your relationship before baby arrives – Conversations about values, roles, and expectations build strong foundations for equitable parenting.
  

• Redefine gender norms – Challenge traditional ideas of motherhood and fatherhood; write your own parenting scripts.
  

• Social networks are vital – Romantic love isn’t the only important bond. Friendships, family, and community connections boost happiness and health.

Click here to download the free values activity

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to listen to the next episode. 
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this episode, evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin challenges everything you thought you knew about fatherhood. From hormone shifts and brain changes to the unique ways dads build attachment, Anna unpacks why fathers are wired to be caretakers, not just breadwinners, and how their involvement shapes resilience, social skills, and mental health in children.

Kate and Rachel dive into:

• The evolutionary roots of fatherhood and why caregiving, not earning, is innate.

• How dads uniquely “scaffold” children’s growth and prepare them for the world.

• The importance of secure attachment, sensitive parenting, and playful involvement.

• Why societal norms and workplace cultures, not biology, often prevent dads from fully engaging.

• How couples can use pregnancy to prepare for parenthood, maintain relationship strength, and navigate the early years together.

This episode is essential listening for any parent, partner, or parent-to-be who wants to understand the science behind equal parenting, and how to put it into practice in today’s world.

Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to our Most Fundamental Need.  She has written for The New York Times, The Observer and The Guardian among others, works regularly with the BBC and national and international broadcast media and recently appeared on The Diary of a CEO podcast.  She is the lead scientist for the new dating app LoveJack.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What does “equal-ish” look like when you’re no longer a couple? This was a question Kate and Rachel have been pondering for a while. 

In this powerful conversation, mediator and parent coordinator Traci Cherrier joins Rachel and Kate to unpack the emotional and practical realities of co-parenting after separation. From navigating the grief cycle to shifting from intimate communication to business-like collaboration, Traci offers grounded, compassionate guidance for families in transition. But there was so much of the conversation that we can all take into our journey to be more equal-ish. 

We explore:

• Why one partner may already be “ahead” in the grief process

• The difference between cooperative and parallel parenting

• How to move from a victim mindset to empowered decision-making

• Why documenting agreements clearly can reduce future conflict

• And the most important question mediators ask couples at odds

At the heart of it all is one powerful idea: even when your relationship changes, your shared hopes for your children can become your glue.

This episode is essential listening for anyone navigating separation — or supporting families who are.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the reason equality at home feels impossible isn’t a lack of commitment but a lack of time?

This week, Kate and Rachel sit down with Haley Swenson, gender researcher and deputy director at New America, to explore the work behind the Better Life Lab Experiments (BLLX) — an initiative focused on practical, evidence-informed ways to rebalance household labor.

Hayley shares how BLLX emerged from a simple but urgent question: if we have decades of data showing unequal division of labor at home, why do we have so little evidence about what actually helps couples change it?

Drawing on behavioral science, design thinking, and real families’ lived experiences, BLLX takes a different approach. Instead of promising perfect equality, it encourages couples to run small, low-stakes experiments — from rethinking chore systems to redefining holiday expectations.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why the most overwhelmed partner is often the one searching for solutions

• How “too busy to change” becomes the biggest barrier to change

• Why buy-in (not chore charts) is often the real starting point

• The hidden emotional stakes of holidays and “magic making”

• How giving your partner the benefit of the doubt can shift everything

• What it means to design equity for real, messy, overworked families

Hayley also reflects candidly on her own marriage — including her surprise at discovering that even in a same-sex relationship, patterns of unequal labor can still emerge. Find out more about the BLL experiments here:

Better Life Lab Experiments 

All The Things Spreadsheet

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

This episode is supported by Relationscapes Podcast.

What becomes visible about a relationship when the romance is removed?

In this new After the Interview episode, Kate and Rachel reflect on their powerful conversation with mediator and parent coordinator Traci Cherrier. We unpack the realities of co-parenting after separation and why the same lessons apply to couples who are still together.

The statistics are sobering:

• 39% of separated parents say unequal caring responsibilities contributed to their breakup.

• Working couples where mothers carry primary childcare are 92% more likely to separate.

• 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

But this isn’t a doom-and-gloom episode. Instead, we explore:

• What “parallel parenting” teaches us about trust and control

• Why separated couples often communicate more intentionally than married ones

• The power of writing down shared values before conflict hits

• How unspoken expectations about gender roles quietly erode relationships

• And why “great advice” is so hard to implement in real life

Whether you’re co-parenting across two homes or navigating equality under one roof, this episode will challenge you to rethink how you communicate, divide responsibility, and re-contract your relationship as life changes.

Because if Equal-ish was easy, we wouldn’t need this conversation.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

We talk a lot about parental leave.

But what happens after dads go back to work?

In this After the Interview, Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs unpack the uncomfortable reality behind our conversation with Ian Dinwiddy and why support for fathers is still falling through the cracks. Ian is Coach, Mentor and the founder of Inspiring Dads, helping businesses who put supporting new dads at the heart of their gender equality strategy, recognising the positive impact on equality and well-being of helping dads solve the challenge of “how to be a great dad WITHOUT sacrificing a great career.”

From the hidden “filtering system” that determines which dads get support…To the unspoken workplace rules that force men to hide caregiving…To the identity shift no one prepares them for…

We ask a bigger question:

How can we expect men to become involved fathers…while still expecting them to behave like nothing has changed?

This isn’t just about dads, it’s about the systems, stories, and expectations keeping all parents stuck.

Meet Ian:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/iandinwiddy/

Find out if your company is in the Inspiring Dads Parental Leave Database

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/the-database

Ian recommends this book by Jasmine Kelland:

“Caregiving Fathers in the Workplace”

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

This podcast is proudly supported by Relationscapes Podcast

We’re told fatherhood is changing. That dads today want to be more present, more involved, more equal.

But what if most men never actually get the chance?

In this episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino sit down with return-to-work expert Ian Dinwiddy to unpack the reality behind modern fatherhood. It’s far more complex than policy headlines suggest. Ian is Coach, Mentor and the founder of Inspiring Dads, helping businesses who put supporting new dads at the heart of their gender equality strategy, recognising the positive impact on equality and well-being of helping dads solve the challenge of “how to be a great dad WITHOUT sacrificing a great career.”

From the “line manager lottery” to the quiet career fears men rarely voice, we explore the invisible filters that determine which dads get to show up at home… and which don’t.

We also dive into the identity shift men experience when they become fathers often without the language, support, or space to process it.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Meet Ian:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/iandinwiddy/

Find out if your company is in the Inspiring Dads Parental Leave Database

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/the-database

Ian recommends this book by Jasmine Kelland:

“Caregiving Fathers in the Workplace”

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

This podcast is proudly supported by Relationscapes Podcast

After our conversation with Melissa Hogenboom, we couldn’t stop thinking about one thing:

Power.

Not the obvious kind, but the invisible, everyday power shaping how couples live, decide, and relate to each other.

In this after-the-interview episode of Equal-ish, Kate and Rachel explore  

• Why the person doing the most at home can feel the least powerful

• How stress, silence, and resentment are linked to disempowerment

• The surprising way power reduces empathy (and what that does to couples)

• Why money still quietly shapes who has influence

• The question that reveals more than “who does more”: who controls their time?

We also get personal, from asking our kids who they think has power, to rethinking what self-care actually means.

Because this is more than chores or fairness. It’s about autonomy, identity, and the ability to say: “this is what I need.”

If you’ve ever felt like something is “off” in the balance at home but struggled to explain why, this episode might give you the language.

Find out more about Melissa Hogenboom, author of Breadwinners, and The Motherhood Complex.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

This episode is proudly supported by Relationscapes Podcast

This week Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs speak with science journalist and author Melissa Hogenboom about the hidden power dynamics shaping modern relationships.

We often think of power as something that exists in politics or the workplace, but what if it’s quietly influencing the way we make everyday decisions at home?

Drawing on research from neuroscience, psychology and sociology, Melissa explains how power shows up in the smallest moments: who controls their free time, who carries the mental load, and whose career shapes the big life decisions.

We explore:

• Why couples often believe decisions are “mutual” — even when the work behind them isn’t

• How earning power subtly influences influence at home

• What happens to empathy, stress, and communication when power is uneven

• Why female breadwinners are rising — but equality still isn’t guaranteed

It’s a fascinating conversation about autonomy, identity, and what it really takes for couples to feel like a team. Equality in parenting isn’t just about dividing the chores, it’s about understanding power.

Find out more about Melissa Hogenboom, author of Breadwinners, and The Motherhood Complex.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 
This episode is proudly supported by Relationscapes Podcast

What if the path to a more equal home life didn’t require a huge conversation… but just one small experiment?

In this After the Interview episode of Equal-ish, Kate and Rachel reflect on their conversation with Hayley Swenson from New America and put some of the Better Life Lab behavioural experiments to the test in their own families.

The idea behind the experiments is simple: instead of trying to redesign your entire relationship or household system, start with small habit changes that gently shift behaviour over time.

Rachel explores how simple boundary-setting tools can help protect work-life balance and reduce the pressure to always be “on”. Kate shares how “sharing the magic” can sometimes reveal that the things we spend hours creating aren’t even the things our kids care most about.

We also touch on fascinating new research from Miranda Dotson exploring division of labour in relationships where one partner is trans or non-binary. Her work introduces the concept of “gender heritage” — the idea that the way we are socialised as children may influence how we divide household labour more than our current gender identity.

It’s a reminder that the patterns couples struggle with today often begin long before relationships even start.

If equality at home feels overwhelming, this episode offers a different approach: start small, experiment, and see what shifts.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Read the Miranda Dodson article

This episode is proudly supported by the Relationscapes Podcast

This week, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino sit down with Professor Leah Ruppanner to unpack one of the most misunderstood (and underestimated) forces shaping modern relationships: the mental load.

Leah is Professor of Sociology at the University of Melbourne and Founder of LightenLab. She is the author of Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More and Motherlands: How States Push Mothers Out of Employment.

Drawing on years of global research and hundreds of interviews, Leah challenges the narrow way we’ve been taught to think about it. Because it’s not just about remembering the shopping list or organising the calendar.

It’s emotional, it’s invisible. it’s boundaryless. And crucially, it doesn’t stop.

From “emotional thinking work” to the eight different types of mental load we’re all carrying, this conversation explains why even the most well-intentioned, modern couples still feel overwhelmed—and what we’ve been missing all along.

Click here to find out more about Leah Ruppaner

• Measure your mental load - Lighten Lab

• Buy Drained now

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the way you’ve been measuring yourself as a parent is the very thing making it harder?

In this raw and reflective “After the Interview” episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino unpack the uncomfortable truths from their conversation with parenting expert Anita Cleare, and what it actually means to live those insights in real life.

Because it’s one thing to say “focus on the relationship, not the outcome.” But it’s another thing entirely when your child is:

• having a meltdown in public

• pushing boundaries

• or making choices you fundamentally disagree with

Together, we explore:

• Why even “progressive parenting” is still often outcome-driven

• The hidden pressure of constantly evaluating your child’s behaviour

• What “being in relationship” actually looks like in difficult moments

• Why letting go of control feels so uncomfortable (especially for high-achievers)

• The tension between preparing your child for the real world vs staying connected to them

• And the surprising question every couple should ask before (or during) parenthood

Meet our guest, Anita Cleare, here. Author of:

• The Work/Parent Switch (UK)

• (The Working Parent’s Survival Guide in the USA)

• How To Get Your Teenager Out Of Their Bedroom

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the biggest mistake we’re making as parents is thinking it’s our job to shape our children?

This week, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino sit down with parenting expert Anita Cleare to challenge everything we think we know about “good parenting.”

From the myth of perfect outcomes to the reality of relationship-building, Anita reframes parenting as something far less controllable and far more human.

Together, we explore:

• Why parenting isn’t something you do to your child, but a relationship you build with them

• How modern “performance parenting” is setting us up to feel like failures

• The hidden cost of doing too much (for our kids and ourselves)

• Why conflict between parents is inevitable (and even valuable)

• The uncomfortable truth about letting go, stepping back, and allowing failure

• How to stay connected to teenagers when they’re pulling away

This episode will challenge your assumptions, ease your guilt, and invite you into a more realistic and joyful way of parenting.

Meet our guest, Anita Cleare, here. 

The Work/Parent Switch (UK)

(The Working Parent’s Survival Guide in the USA)

How To Get Your Teenager Out Of Their Bedroom

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the biggest lie we’ve been told about caregiving is that people don’t want to do it?

In this powerful conversation, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino sit down with Dr. Taveeshi Gupta, Senior Director of Research, Evaluation, and Learning from Equimundo to unpack the newly released State of the World’s Fathers 2026 report (a landmark global study spanning 16 countries and 8,000 parents).

The findings are both devastating and hopeful.

Parents overwhelmingly say caregiving brings joy, purpose and connection. Fathers want meaningful relationships with their children. Mothers and fathers alike say men are doing more care work than previous generations ever did.

But the systems surrounding families (workplaces, economies, public policy, gender norms, childcare structures and cultural expectations) are failing caregivers at every turn.

In this week’s conversation we explore:

• Why care should be treated as a basic human good, like food or shelter

• The dangerous rise of hyper-traditional gender narratives among younger men

• Why couples who hold more traditional gender beliefs actually report more conflict

• Why the manosphere is thriving in an era of economic insecurity

• The hidden “fatherhood flexibility stigma” in workplaces

• The tension between fathers wanting to care and not always defining care the same way women do

• Why caregiving conversations cannot be separated from capitalism, policy and structural inequality

• And why Taveeshi believes we are on the brink of a global “care revolution”

This is a conversation about the systems we’ve built around care, and whether humanity can survive without rebuilding them.

Read the report here: State of the World’s Fathers 2026

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Last week, we redefined the mental load. This week, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino ask the harder question:

What do you actually do about it?

In Part 2 of our conversation with Professor Leah Ruppanner, we move from awareness to action.

Because once you realise you’re not just carrying one mental load (but eight) it can feel even heavier.

So how do you:

• stop feeling responsible for everything?

• challenge the “shoulds” shaping your decisions?

• share the load in a way that actually works?

Leah introduces a powerful reframe: The goal isn’t doing more. The goal is being intentional about what you carry, and what you don’t.

From dropping unnecessary standards to recognising how social norms quietly increase your load, this episode is about reclaiming your time, energy, and headspace.

You don’t need to carry it all. In fact, you were never meant to.

Click here to find out more about Professor Leah Ruppaner

• Measure your mental load - Lighten Lab

• Buy Drained now

• Listen to Leah on Miss Perceived Podcast

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

We often talk about the mental load, emotional labour, and the systems that keep families stuck in unequal patterns. But what happens after awareness?

In this Equal-ish Edit, Kate and Rachel reflect on their recent conversations with Laura Danger (Ep 41), Steve Cardwell (Ep 42) and Natalie Costa (Ep 43), exploring the gap between knowing and doing. Why do couples who value equality still end up in unequal dynamics? Why is awareness only the starting point? And what skills are we missing at home that organisations spend millions teaching at work?

The conversation dives into the role of trust, communication, emotional intelligence, leadership skills and habit formation in creating stronger partnerships. They also explore why letting go feels so risky, why vulnerability is essential for growth, and whether we need to rethink how we prepare people for relationships, parenting and family life.

Plus, they share their thoughts on the new film Breadwinner and ask whether popular culture is still stuck telling outdated stories about fathers, mothers and family life.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the most important parenting skill isn't discipline, communication, or even patience, but emotional fitness?

In this episode, Kate and Rachel sit down with parenting coach and emotional fitness expert Natalie Costa to explore how our relationship with emotions shapes everything from our parenting to our partnerships.

Natalie explains why so many adults struggle to navigate difficult emotions, how emotional patterns are passed down through generations, and why resilience isn't about avoiding feelings, it's about learning to move forward with them.

We dive into the invisible emotional labour that often falls to mothers, why many fathers have never been taught the emotional skills modern parenting requires, and practical ways couples can create a more emotionally connected family culture together.

You'll also hear why repair matters more than perfection, how to help children develop emotional security, and the powerful reminder that every child needs to hear:

"You are easy to love."

Whether you're raising toddlers, teens, or simply trying to break old patterns in your own family, this conversation offers practical tools and reassuring wisdom for becoming the steady parent your children need.

• What emotional fitness actually means

• Why happiness shouldn't be the ultimate parenting goal

• The connection between emotional awareness and resilience

• How emotional patterns are inherited across generations

• The invisible emotional labour carried by many mothers

• Helping fathers build emotional confidence and connection

• Why repair is more important than getting it right

• How to raise emotionally secure children without striving for perfection

Meet Natalie Costa:https://nataliecosta.co.uk 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

For today's fathers, the expectations have changed.

Men are no longer expected to simply provide financially. They are expected to be present, emotionally engaged, active parents while still succeeding at work and somehow finding time for themselves too.

But what happens when all of those demands collide?

In this thought-provoking conversation, Rachel and Kate sit down with Deliberate Dad founder Steve Cardwell to explore what it means to be an ambitious father in a world where the rules of parenting are changing faster than the systems around us.

Steve shares his philosophy of being a "deliberate dad"—someone who consciously chooses how to spend their time, energy and attention rather than living on autopilot. Together they unpack guilt, mental load, workplace expectations, partnership dynamics, self-care, and the pressure to excel in every area of life.

The conversation explores why so many fathers feel pulled between work and home, why agency matters more than perfection, and how couples can define their own version of equality rather than chasing impossible standards.

Along the way, Rachel, Kate and Steve wrestle with some of the biggest questions facing modern parents:

Can you really have it all?

What sacrifices are unavoidable?

How do we model healthy fatherhood for the next generation?

And what happens when being a "good parent" looks very different from the image social media keeps selling us?

A nuanced conversation about ambition, agency, equality, and the realities of parenting in today's world.

Meet Steve Cardwell: https://deliberate.dad/ 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevedeliberatedad/

https://www.instagram.com/deliberatedad_ 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

We are all familiar with the jokes.

The exhausted mum carrying everything.The lovable but clueless dad.The wife who nags.The husband who "helps."

But what if the jokes aren't harmless?

This week Rachel and Kate are joined by Laura Danger, author of No More Mediocre, to explore the hidden relationship dynamics that have been normalised for generations.

Laura shares how a flood of "couples comedy" videos during the pandemic sparked her now-famous work on the mental load, weaponized incompetence, and what she calls the "nag paradox", the exhausting cycle where one partner carries the responsibility, then gets blamed for managing it.

Together we unpack:

• Why so many unequal relationships feel "normal"

• The hidden emotional cost of being indispensable

• Why progressive couples often struggle behind closed doors

• How social media is changing the conversation around the mental load

• The fear that comes with demanding more from your relationship

• Why changing your relationship means accepting that things will be different

This isn't a conversation about blaming men or women.

It's a conversation about questioning the stories we've inherited, challenging what we've accepted as inevitable, and asking whether "good enough" is really good enough.

Because maybe the goal isn't perfection. Maybe it's refusing to settle for mediocre.

Find out more about Laura at www.lauradanger.com, and on Instagram @thatdarnchat

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this Equal-ish Edit, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino reflect on the last three powerful conversations with: Professor Leah Ruppanner (ep 36 & 37) on redefining the mental load, Dr. Taveeshi Gupta (ep 38) on the global state of fatherhood, and Danny Mercer (ep 39) on life as an at-home dad.

Together, they unpack one huge question: if men increasingly say they want to care more, why are so many families still stuck in unequal systems?

This episode explores:

• Why caregiving is still culturally coded as “women’s work”
• How workplaces continue to shape parenting roles
• The mental load beyond motherhood and domestic labour
• The invisible pressure many fathers carry as providers
• Why modern parenting feels so isolating and overwhelming
• The role community, vulnerability and systems change play in creating more equal families

It’s an honest, emotional and deeply nuanced conversation about the tension many families live inside every day: wanting equality, while operating inside systems that make it incredibly hard to achieve.

And in one particularly moving moment, Kate reflects on the simple but powerful truth many parents need most: not solutions, just someone willing to listen.

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. 

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Danny Mercer has spent 16 years as the primary caregiver for his four children, and what started as a practical family decision became a complete redefinition of identity, fatherhood, care and partnership.

In this deeply honest conversation, Danny shares what it means to be the default parent as a father: the exhaustion, the invisible labour, the mental load, the resentment, the joy, and the relentless nature of caregiving. He talks openly about losing the identity that came with a paycheck, navigating judgement from society, and why community became essential to survival.

As Vice President of the National At-Home Dad Network, Danny also reflects on the growing movement of fathers stepping more fully into caregiving roles, and why many men still struggle to ask for help, build support systems, or believe they are “allowed” to parent this way at all.

This episode explores:

• how gender shapes caregiving expectations

• why the mental load burns out anyone carrying it

• the hidden emotional realities of being an at-home dad 

• why appreciation, communication and self-care matter more than rigid equality

Explore the National at Home Dads Network:

athomedad.org

dadsgottatalk.org

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.