When there is tension or an upset in your marriage, it's easy to point the finger at your partner as the source of the discomfort. But this often leads to further conflict. It also does not address this critical aspect of being in a marriage for a long time… that growth is a part of it! The common question for those that see these events as places to grow is "well, is this a me thing, a you thing, or a we thing"! 

Today's episode is more motivational (and aspirational) about growth in your relationship. You will hear how you can quickly distinguish between the necessary individual work that needs to be done as well as the relationship work that needs to be focused on. After listening to this episode you both will feel more grace for each other with the reminder that you are in this to grow and you are in it together!

Relationship Resources:

1) Discover all our online resources here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

2) Join us at the in-person Couples Workshop on Oct 6th, 2024. As of this episode, the event is 60% sold out so don't wait to grab your seats for this relationship changing event! 

Last week's episode focused on husbands was a huge hit, so this week we're focusing on what inner-challenge wives are struggling with and how it's affecting marriages.  In this episode, we dive into the pressure many wives feel to constantly do more, grow more, and be more—often at the expense of their own well-being.

This relentless pursuit can lead to burnout, resentment, and a disconnect in marriages. We'll explore why it's crucial to recognize these patterns, how they impact your relationship, and what you can do to create a healthier, more balanced approach. Tune in to discover how you can start making small shifts that will lead to a stronger, more fulfilling marriage.

As you listen, make sure you sign-up for the upcoming 30-Day "Prioritizing Us" Couples Challenge so you can:

• Fill each other's Love Accounts

• Strengthen your connection & communication

• And consistently feel like your marriage (and your satisfaction) is a top priority

Many communications between couples can cause misunderstandings. This leads to more expectations and further frustrations and upsets. Then these upsets can turn into conflicts. Though it seems simple to just "listen better", listening is not the same as hearing. 

Listening is the requirement for understanding, but even then, it does not guarantee complete and accurate understanding of what was actually meant by your partner. 

Though much of this has to do with the listener's role, there is also much to say about the speaker and how they deliver the message so as to not create mistranslations. 

In this episode you will hear:

• Mistakes the speaker makes

• Mistakes the listener makes

• 5 tips for more productive conversations 

• Plus the psychology principles that can prevent communications from being misunderstood or turning into conflicts.

Relationship Resources:

1) Join the upcoming 30-Day Couples Challenge "Prioritizing Us", proven to improve your interactions, help you understand each other more, strengthen your connection, and fill your Love Accounts. https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

2) For links to our top resources and guides: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

"I'm sorry" - 2 little words that can not only be challenging for some partners to say, but also can mean MANY different things. 

So in today's episode we cover:

• Several specific reasons apologizing can be harder for some (self-awareness)

• Why couples can battle over whether the 'I'm sorry' is deemed "necessary"

• The different meanings of "I'm sorry" and how to expand your language for more things to say in these moments

• How to get better at apologizing, big or small

We encourage BOTH of you to listen to this episode and talk about how you can both be better. Because these little moments truly can strengthen your bond or erode your ability to respect each other. We know, strong statement, but respect is tied to this. 

As you listen, make sure you get our popular Making Up & Moving Forward guide. These repair steps prevent re-triggering a conflict, having to re-hash the details, and ensures you both feel resolved.

"How do I get my partner to _____?" This is one of the most common questions we get. Obviously this is referring to wanting a partner to change a behavior in a certain area of the relationship. Underneath that question is the real question of "what is going to motivate my partner?" 

If you have ever had this experience of wanting your partner to change something, but they didn't, you likely felt discouraged or even burnt out. This was likely because you have been asking for things to change for some time now, but nothing did. 

In this episode you will hear about the process of motivation and being able to achieve a result you have been wanting to have in your relationship. You will get the 6 steps of the decision making process and how to overcome the motivation threshold so that you do not feel that same burnout or discouragement from not seeing a change happen. In the end you will realize there was something even better for you than the goal you initially set out to achieve! 

Relationship Resources:

1) For use in your "Evaluation Step" from the episode, here is the link to the Family Meeting Guide - https://thecouplesexperience.com/family

2) Start the level 1 Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting guide as a free bonus. - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

3) Start the level 2 Rebuiulding Us Couples Challenge - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding

We said to several couples last week: "The ultimate sign of a secure marriage is knowing that even if one of you says something at the wrong time, in the wrong way, or with the wrong tone, the other person will be responsible for their reaction."

And this is the ultimate goal for so many couples. 

So dive in today as we cover:

• The 4 D's that derail conversations and destroy your connection

• 3 strategies for being responsible for your reactions

• Further understanding of the brain so you don't act from 2 of them in unproductive ways. 

As you listen, get 2 of our popular guides:

De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions HERE

Making Up & Moving Forward (repair steps after conflicts) HERE

Do you know what you need in your relationship? Whether you do or not right in this moment, knowing what you need is certainly a requirement for being able to communicate and act to fulfill it. This is the basis for having a satisfying relationship. 

In this episode we go deeper into explaining our process for effectively communicating your needs and what being assertive really means. But you will also have a new perspective on whether you really know what you need or not. It is not as simple as you think.

Relationship Resources:

Both of the 30 Day Couples Challenges start on Jne 1st. 

The Level 1 - Prioritizing Us Challenge

The Level 2 - Rebuilding Us Challenge

Can you count on each other completely? Not with just the BIG things, but also with the small daily things in your life?

Building and living a great life with each other is only possible if you can count on, TRUST, each other. When you see the word "trust" it's easy to think of big things around feeling physically safe or being truthful in what you say. But this conversation gets way more into your day-to-day experiences that either lead to doubting each other and losing trust or increasing the reliability and foundational confidence you have no matter what comes up. 

Being attracted to each other, feeling connected, being intimate, and having fun together, is only possible if you can COUNT on each other as partners and that you each are operating as people of integrity to these 4 things…

Relationship Resources:

It is the last week to attend the in person Couples Workshop with us in Arizona on May 26th. Check out the details and reserve your seats here: http://thecouplesworkshop.com

If that date is past, or you are looking for immediate resrouces, like the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide: you can see all the resoruces here.

Which of these 7 stages of marriage are you two in right now? Knowing this not only gives you perspective about navigating your current season, but also what's ahead of you in the bigger picture of being married for many years. 

It is unrealistic to think that every season of marriage should be the same, or will be in the same order as another couple's. But also, we should be able to navigate some of the harder stages more quickly so they don't last too long or rob us of joy and fulfillment in living life together. 

RELATIONSHIP RESOURCES:

1. Meet us in-person at The Couples Workshop in Arizona at the end of May.

2. Start the Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and see why over 25,000 couples have loved these prompts! 

We all want some degree of change in our lives, and our relationships. So long as they are the changes we want! Change can be difficult if it brings about a lot of unknown, or if the change you desire requires your partner to change some of their behavior. 

But what is it that creates change and how do you get the results that you really want? In this episode we outline the drives and motivations behind creating change and the one foundational element that you must be able to identify if any real change is going to happen, let alone last!

Relationship Resources

- May 26th, 2024 is The Couples Workshop in Arizona. If you have been wanting to join us in person for this 1/2 day event to create positive change in your communiation and conflict resolution, save your seat today! Make this a little vacation/reset for both of you. 

- If the May workshop is past, make sure to check out which online resource is best for the change you are looking to make: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

Building connection (and closeness) with your partner is fundamental to having a happy and satisfying relationship. Yet it's the first thing that takes a back seat when you are busy, stressed, or just in the routine of your life. 

Yes, maintaining connection takes effort. If you thought you could be in a marriage without effort, someone needs to inform your partner! But it doesn't need to be extravagant or just be when you have time for date nights. In this episode you will hear 3 ways to build and maintain connection in your everyday life, so that your long-term life can be satisfying for both of you!

Relationship Resources

The next round of 30 Day Couples Challenges start May 1st. Now we have the level 1, prioritizing Us, and the level 2, Rebuilding Us challenges. You can see the details of both of them at our main weblink here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

The last 2 years could have torn us apart and made us turn against each other. It felt like life was throwing everything at us at once, all while we had a newborn baby.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Our personal journey of what trials we faced over the last 2 years

• How exactly we triumphed after these challenges and got stronger than EVER

• What social psychology says about overcoming stressors and adversity

• 4 areas of wisdom to guide you through anything you face as a couple

As you listen, make sure you also get signed up for one of our 30-Day Couples Challenges:

The Level 1 'Prioritizing Us' Challenge focuses on filling your Love Accounts, improving your communication, and strengthens your connection.

The Level 2 'Rebuilding Us' Challenge focuses on repairing and rebuilding the foundation of your partnership after being in a harder season of marriage.

Men are facing an inner-challenge that is also affecting the marriage. For men to feel a sense of meaning, empowerment, responsibility, value, and achievement they have to show up in the eternal world a certain way. Whether this be in business, profession, managing finances or contracts for the family, relationships with family/friends; men are supposed to show up as warriors, lions, unstoppable, and unshakeable in their pursuits…

But at home that same mentality causes issues and conflicts. Men are then supposed to be understanding, supportive, slow to anger, quick to listen, and in a loving attitude to meet their spouses needs. But without knowing how to transition back to being a partner; men can be defensive, quick to react, withdrawn, and with poor coping and communication with their partners. In this episode you will hear about how men can navigate this internal conflict so they can both be the warrior and protect the family in the outside world, and be a loving partner and father.

Relationship Resources:

Level 1: "Prioritizing Us" is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun "Love Deposit" ideas. LINKED HERE

Level 2: "Rebuilding Us" is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE

Who's to blame for your frustrating problems and patterns in your relationship?

It's obviously your partner, right... they're the problem. No… blaming them doesn't get you anywhere, in fact it makes things worse and more difficult to get out of. 

If there's one thing that is inarguable in social psychology it's that relationships are bi-directional.Meaning, your attitude, actions, and choices affect your partner's attitude, actions, and choices, and vice versa.

Unfortunately many couples stay stuck in frustrating cycles or without a solution because they aren't in a problem-solving state. If you truly operate as a team and dive a little deeper into WHY you keep encountering this frustrating pattern, you can overcome it together.

In this episode you'll hear a deep-dive into:

• The 5 root causes of most marriage problems/issues

• 4 self-reflective questions to ask yourself to identify your partner in the situation 

• Understanding more about a psychology approach to effective problem solving

Use this link to join the mentioned Rebuilding Us 30-Day Couples Challenge (level 2). 

Or for other resources, link on our general website link. 

There are disagreements in your relationship, and then there are Power Struggles! These power struggles are more detrimental and have deeper rooted contributing factors. They keep you from being the best team possible and being able to come up with mutually beneficial solutions for your family. In today's episode we dive into:

• How to define a power struggle

• The goal of interdependence, rather than co-dependence or independence 

• Contributing factors to being in a power struggle

• Communication skills to be more collaborative + harmonious 

Dive into our Relationship Resources:

📔 Family Meeting guide

💻 Marriage WebClass

❣️ Our NEW 30-Day Couples Challenge: Rebuilding US

…and more!

ALL LINKED HERE

Your family is a source of support, love, and acceptance. Now there are certainly times that our perception of actions from family members make us forget those underlying intentions. Of course this can be even more true when you are interacting (or dealing with) your partner's family members (your in-laws)! 

There is always the grand idea that two sides of a family can come together and just magnify the sense of community, family, and support, but that doesn't always happen. It can be common that each of your own families (and how you individually interact with them) can be a source of conflict, even between you and your partner. In this episode we dive into some of these sources of conflict and 5 particular patterns that you should avoid as to not make your partner out to be the bad guy with your family!

Relationship Resources: 

It's April 1st, 2024 and we now have TWO 30-Day Couples Challenges that you can start! 

1) The Prioritize Us Couples Challenge - daily activities to grow your love accounts 

2) The Rebuilding Us Couples Challenge - daily prompts to repair and rebuild after a hard season. 

The basis of a strong marriage is how well you handle 3 "stages" of interactions. These 3 stages are before, during and after conflicts. The before stage is all about communication and being able to prevent conflicts from even happening. The during conflict stage is about de-escalating tensions and potential conflicts. The after stage is about how you repair when conflicts to happen (because they will)

In this episode you will hear the tools you will need to master each of the 3 stages and putting them all together will make you feel unstoppable and confident that you can handle any challenge as a team. 

This episode is our "audio version" of the webclass we just hosted. So be sure to watch the replay of the webclass while it's still available. You can find it here on our Top Resources Page. 

There you can also find the BRAND NEW 'Level 2' 30-Day Couples Challenge that is all about repairing and rebuilding from a hard season. This is the advanced "Rebuilding Us Couples Challenge"!

Emotional Intelligence (or lack thereof) can truthfully be a make it or break it factor for a marriage. It's a big part of what helps you be connected, navigate hardship and disagreements, and embrace your differences. It's also what can cause feelings of "walking on egg-shells" or be what escalates simple miscommunications into big conflicts. Yet nowadays this term can be used too conceptually, and you know we are all about making things useful and practical! 

In this episode you'll hear:

• 6 keys to Emotional Intelligence

• Examples of how these look in your marriage

• How to improve in each one

Also, our LIVE Marriage WebClass is next week, March 25th! And we only host these two times a year, so get signed up here. (yes, it's free!) Spots will be limited to 500, so make sure to join early for Communicating Constructively, De-escalating Conflicts, and Repairing Arguments webclass.

After March 25th, visit our resource link for the latest guides, courses, and events

You can't build a strong marriage on a weak foundation. But do you know what the ingredients for a rock-solid foundation are? Well don't worry, we're covering that today and we're certain this will open up some great conversations for you two.

In this episode you'll hear: 

• The 5 foundations to a strong marriage

• Specific examples so that you can have these conversations with your partner

• How these can help guide you when you disagree and/or encounter hard moments

Also, make sure you utilize our resources because we have a long waitlist for private sessions:

1. Steps to Rebuild guide

2. Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge

     3. Making Up & Moving Forward guide

You don't often "think about your own psychology", life is just happening and you are responding. So when it comes to interactions with your partner, it's easy to defend yourself when your perspective is brought into question. The cycle continues when you go back and forth about who remembers events more accurately.

Your perception and memory are all a part of your psychology. These are actually very complex cognitive functions that can  easily make errors and include bias you are not even aware of. In this episode we intend to share some of these errors and biases with the intent that you loosen the grip you have on being right and be willing to be more flexible with your own perception to bring more understanding into your marriage.

Resources For Your Relationship:

1. Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting April 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

2. STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

From the thousands of coaching sessions, DMs, and emails that we receive, we tend to see themes come up in marriage. You would be surprised to learn how common certain topics are for couples, that all seem to come up in the same weeks and months. We are not here to hypothesize about why that is, but just make these themes known.

This is the highly anticipated followup episode from last week's on mistakes men are making. Lately we have been noticing themes around Women and mistakes they are making in marriage. These are not character flaws but just patterns of behavior that we see adding to the dynamics in marriage. Today you will hear from Jocelyn on this solo episode about the 3 mistakes women are making: Criticisms, Conclusions, Consistency

Resources For Your Relationship:

1. Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting March 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

2. If the challenge start already passed, you can find all of our resoruces from guides, to courses, to coaching sessions with this link: Best Resources

From the thousands of coaching sessions, DMs, and emails that we receive, we tend to see themes come up in marriage. You would be surprised to learn how common certain topics are for couples, that all seem to come up in the same weeks and months. We are not here to hypothesize about why that is, but just make these themes known.

Lately we have been noticing themes around men and mistakes they are making in marriage. These are not character flaws but just patterns of behavior that we see adding to the dynamics in marriage. Today you will hear from Aaron on this solo episode about the 3 mistakes men are making: Reserved, Responsibility, and Receptivity.

If you are new to listening or just looking for where to go for the best relationship resources we have, you can find everything from simple conflict guides, webclasses, books, and dates for upcoming events here with out Resources Link. 

The scenario is that your partner makes a comment, you sense they are a little irritated. They may very well have a frustration but have expressed it with a mild (level 2) upset. Yet you are not in a conflict or argument. But as you talk back and forth, you start giving explanations and justifications and an early onset of defensiveness starts to create a divide. This is a critical moment where you could even say to each other "this doesn't have to become a thing …"

Often these moments are not handled properly and now it does turn into something. You have this energy between you and your partner that for many can cause you to go do your own separate things and even have you ruin/cancel plans you had together for the evening. We have heard this happens for date nights, and even Valentine's Day plans, which happens to be tomorrow from when this podcast came out. 

This episode is about how to discern between tension and a true issue in marriage with 5 actions to take to "bounce back" faster.

Resources:

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 14th, 2024 for Valentines Day - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

Find all our other guides and resources here on our website resources page

Are you able to have a disagreement with your partner without fighting against each other? To be honest many couples view having a disagreement as a fight, because anytime they disagree and there is a little bit of emotion, it always turns into a fight. We are here to tell you that you can disagree while staying on the same team and moving down the decision making path together to find the best route for both of you and your future. 

In this episode you will hear 6 different tools/skills to implement in a moment of disagreement that will keep you on the same side and avoid it turning into a conflict or fight. This is a significant and powerful episode as you cannot avoid disagreement in a marriage, but you can use that to gain understanding and make even better decisions as a couple, rather than have it turn into a fight.

Relationship Resources:

1) Visit our top resources for the season you are in, find anything from guides, to challenges, courses, and even attending an in person workshop: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

2) The Next Couples Workshop is Oct 6th, 2024, in Arizona: http://thecouplesworkshop.com/

What is the bare minimum to expect in a marriage? You likely read that question and think about your expectations about your partner… However this is actually about what to expect from yourself! 

There are a lot of social media comments on relationship posts that judge the portrayal of a partner. That shows that most people think about what changes a partner needs to make in order to better meet one's own needs. But that is quite backward. In this episode you will hear 6 traits that are the bare minimum to expect within yourself if you want to be a good partner.

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 14th, 2024 for Valentines Day - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

Find all our other guides and resources here on our website resources page

You have heard about the "7 Year Itch" in a marriage. Though that was the name of a Marilyn Monroe movie in 1955, studies have shown that a couples satisfaction in marriage hits a low around 10 years into a marriage. Whether you've been together 2 years, 10 years, or 30+ years, you'll get a lot out of this episode by understanding what couples lose sight of and causes an increase of dissatisfaction. 

We dive into:

• What the studies say about the "peak of dissatisfaction" being around year 10 together

• The actions that lead a couple to these rough patches

• What to do about it so you two can stay satisfied or boost it up, no matter how long you've been together. 

As you listen, make sure you join our upcoming 30-Day Couples Challenge here.

Are attachment styles fixed? This is the essence of all the questions and messages we received after last week's episode on attachment style, behaviors, and needs. This required a Part 2 episode this week where you will hear how to overcome your avoidant or anxious style pasts and tendencies. 

Not only is attachment style not fixed, it's a range, and can be very situational. You may have created a secure relationship experience for both of you, but circumstances and your environment can have you fall back into insecure behaviors that remind you of your past. Today we share more of our own back stories of being anxious and avoidant, how those would creep back in over the years, and 5 ways to move yourselves back into that secure attachment experience you are used to operating in together!

Resources: 

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

P.S. - you also get the Family Meeting Guide as a bonus for start the Couples Challenge! 

Attachment is a key term and principle for relationships and refers to the way in which you bond and connect with your partner. The theory of Attachment Style has become much more popular in recent years from its conception by John Bowlby in 1969. Though many are familiar with the Secure and Insecure categorizations and the insecure types of avoidant, anxious, and fearful; people are not so familiar with the attachment needs and behaviors that are as critical. 

All of this as a theory can feel very conceptual so in this episode you will hear even more depth about the attachment needs, and behaviors so that you can take more practical action to move in the direction of a secure relationship experience. Even if you are securely attached with your partner you will hear how to maintain this on a range of relationship confidence and trust.

Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice:

1. The Family Meeting guide and tempaltes.

2. The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage guide

     3. All of our resources are here.

What is Love in a very practical sense? We hear people say "we fell in love" or "we fell out of love"... so what is causing this experience of love? Or why do couples start to feel more like roommates?

As the years pass, it can be easier to fall into what is called "empty love" or "friendship love" and miss the 3rd element of love that we all crave.

So dive into today's episode where you'll hear:

• The 3 components of love

• Variations of relationships that have one or 2 components but are missing the 3rd

• How to maintain "complete love" encompassing all 3 components

Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice:

1. Our "Prioritize Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge is open for just a couple more days.

2. The Family Meeting guide for weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-ins

     3. Or see all of our resources are here (including in-person events & coaching)

The one thing that the beginning of a year allows you to do is draw a clear line in the sand. It's a psychological distinction to review your last 12 months and see how well you executed on your game plan. Some do this for work, for individual achievements, as sports teams, and it is very powerful to do for your marriage. 

In this episode you will hear how to go through a Yearly Check-in to start off your new year. This will allow you to reestablish your core values, set your vision and goals, and remove any old distractions and barriers that didn't serve you from the previous year.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. PLUS you get the Family Meeting Guide as a Bonus

FAMILY MEETING GUIDE: The  step-by-step guide to having your family meeting, with templates for weekly, quarterly, and the yearly meetings. This is the Family Meeting Guide from the episode and it's only $19.

Parenting definitely shifts priorities, but that shouldn't mean we de-prioritize our marriage, right? This week was our daughter's 2nd birthday and we were reflecting on our own parenting journey up until this point.

We know from many couples that parenting really does shift many things in a marriage, even studies have shown that satisfaction goes down in the first 5 years of becoming parents. Though there are so many great positives that also come with being a parent, in this episode you will hear about the challenges that we have faced in the first 2 years, the common challenges other parents face, and the steps to take to better handle these challenges. All so that they do not negatively impact your marriage and you can focus more on all the benefits of being a parent and a great partner.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

If you have listened to the podcast at all you probably have thought "Yes, I get the importance of validating my partner but HOW exactly do I do that?" Even if this is your first time listening you likely have the same question about how to have your partner feel validated in their experience especially when you do not agree with their feelings or details of an event! 

Validating a partner is a difficult thing to do because you will not always see (or experience) events the same way. You also might feel as if they are blaming you for how they feel, which makes it more difficult to validate because it seems you have to take the blame. In this episode you will hear 7 easy actions to take to have your partner feel validated but also understand the real importance of validation on positive influence!

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

All Work & No Play Makes For A Dull Marriage. If you're like most of the couples we talk to, you've been working at overcoming patterns and challenges that have kept you stuck and in frustrating cycles. Many couples even say, "I'm so exhausted" or "When do we get back to more fun times?"

If you have ever seen the movie Moneyball, it's just clicking in a few key aspects so that you can get on a winning streak! In this episode you will hear a brief answer for why you might feel like you're on a losing streak, but how you can use the same ideas to turn it into a winning streak. Then we give you categories that you can take an action in to keep the positive momentum going.

Resources For Your Relationship:

1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

2)STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

We were not going to leave the men out from last week's episode about what women need in a marriage. This episode is about what men need that is often overshadowed and not expressed. Just so you know, the answer is not going to be sex… we have our own issue with accounts that tote sex as men's only need in a marriage (but you will hear that in the episode)!

In this episode you will hear about the need of Harmony and how that is a key need for men, even if they would not have said it that way. You will hear 5 pathways to practically move into more harmony and how to have men's underlying needs in this area be met so that each of you can be more fulfilled in both the short and long term!

Relationship Resources:

STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

This is the second half of that age old question "what do men want" in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other's needs then it's quite important to know what those needs are. This episode is the followup from last week about women's needs right now. 

With the amount of coaching sessions we do, we have a great insight into the common needs that are going unmet for couples. There are themes that seem to show up in general, so even the specific needs we hear from men in one season, will not be the same in another (though admittedly more consistent than women's it seems)! 

In this episode you will hear the top 3 needs we are hearing from men right now. A little different from the start of the women's needs episode, you will also hear 3 key traits that also need to be present in the marriage for there to be willingness and receptivity to these needs. Get ready for a great episode for insight into men's needs (and the critical element of integrity)!

Relationship Resources:

1) As mentioned, get the Family Meeting Guide as a free bonus when you start the Priotitize Us 30 Day Couples Challenge for $1/day. 

2) You can also get the Family Meeting Guide by itself for $19. 

In this insightful podcast episode, dive into the heart of successful marriages and discover a nuanced perspective on meeting the emotional needs of women, a crucial but often overlooked aspect. Women generally prioritize people and nurturing, while men care more about things and problem-solving. This difference poses a challenge to men in grasping the seemingly ever-changing emotional needs of their partners and introduces a vital skill: Emotional Attunement. 

You will hear a vivid contrast between what it looks like to be unattuned versus the transformative qualities of attunement. Attunement is commonly absent in many male partners  stemming from childhood experiences, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of self-validation. Ultimately, the episode empowers you with the profound understanding that emotional attunement is a cornerstone for creating a deeply connected and fulfilling marriage.

Resources For Your Relationship:

1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Dec 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

2)STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

If you plan to be married for a long time, you need to work through hard seasons, course-correct, and commit to make changes. These are the times that you need to take steps to rebuild the marriage and start a chapter. This is PART 2 of the "Steps to Rebuild a Marriage" episode #312 as we got so many messages about this topic. 

In this episode we will briefly remind you of the steps to rebuild, which we have shortened from 8 to 6. Then we will dive further into 4 ways that you can easily get off track in these difficult conversations for rebuilding. These conversations are inherently going to be more vulnerable and potentially charged, so you will need to quickly adjust when you feel them getting off track. 

Relationship Resources From This Episode:

The brand NEW Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide so you can end a hard season and create a new chapter together.

Meeting each other's needs is the basis for a great relationship. This can get complex especially when it comes to the need of intimacy in a marriage, a fundamental need that often takes different forms for men and women. While some men seek physical intimacy to feel connected, their female partners emphasize the need for emotional intimacy. 

In this episode you will hear the significance of first establishing emotional safety (in its various forms) before either type of intimacy can be created. Then how each person's need can be accepted as valid and a  roadmap for building emotional intimacy through 4 key elements: attunement, honesty, vulnerability, and initiation. 

As for physical intimacy, you will hear the keys of emphasizing love deposits, injecting fun, and introducing intentional variety into the experience. You will understand that you can in fact meet both of your needs as they are independent of each other first. The meeting of those needs further raise both the emotional and physical aspects of your marriage.

Relationship Resources (mentioned in the episode):

1) Register for the next "Prioritize Us" 30 Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting Guide as a part of it. 

2) Get the Family Meeting Guide on it's own now. 

It's not that difficult to show up as a great partner when everything is going smoothly in your life. Being an exceptional partner has much to do with how you show up in the face of challenges and things not going how you planned. 

In this episode you will hear 5 ways to be an exceptional partner that will be demonstrated through aligning your words and actions, being responsible for the attitude you bring to the environment, how you show up in support, focusing on the satisfaction of your partner, and your mental and emotional resiliency. 

Relationship Resources:

Check out the in-person couples workshop in Arizona Jan 28th. http://thecouplesworkshop.com/

Explore all the resources from simple guides to private coaching. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

It's the age old question "what do women want" in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other's needs then it's quite important to know what those needs are. This episode will be a two part series that will follow up with exploring the needs that men have as well (so don't feel left out guys)!

With the amount of coaching sessions we do, we have a great insight into the common needs that are going unmet for couples. There are themes that seem to show up in general, so even the specific needs we hear from women in one season, will not be the same in another. 

In this episode you will hear the top 3 needs we are hearing from women right now, which are especially related to the longer a couple is together. As you will hear from the beginning, these needs are more like categories than specific actions. If you look at them this way then it won't seem like a moving target from one season to another. Focus on these 3 categories and you will find more flexibility and effectiveness in meeting the needs in the years to come.

Relationship Resources:

Want fun, simple, and sweet ideas for feeling more Prioritized by each other?  Make sure you take advantage of the 30-Day "Prioritizing Us' couples challenge that is starting less than 2 days from when this is posted. Go to MyCouplesChallenge.com 

No matter how busy you are, these prompts are realistic but shake things up a bit and get you out of the routine in your interactions. Just read the testimonials and you'll see why over 32,000 couples have loved our challenges.

The success of your life and marriage isn't as much about the things that happen to you, but how well you can course-correct. This goes for bigger life decisions about where to live, send your kids to school, and where to spend money. As well as the amount of time to pass before initiating repair after a conflict, the attitude you wake up with, and even the thoughts you let your mind focus on. 

So then what does "course-correcting" actually look like in regard to these decisions? That is exactly what you will hear in the episode. You are going to hear 4 questions to ask yourselves that will help you to determine whether you are on path or off path, which greatly impacts your satisfaction in your life and marriage together. (So yes it's pretty important!)

Relationship Resources Mentioned

The Level 1 "Prioritizing Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge (you get the popular Family Meeting guide as a bonus gift with this)

The Level 2 "Rebuilding Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge (repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage)

Additional Guides - https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

Whether you've been in a funk as a couple, or things have just felt pretty routine with your "adulting" responsibilities, this episode will help you SPARK more fun together!

The truth is, life is short. And we don't believe we're meant to just let the weeks pass by and survive our busy schedule. Of course there are challenging days (and you hear us talk about that), but let's enter into a season of more fulfillment, connection, and play together.

You will hear 5 very tangible and actionable ways to spark more fun together, so dive on in!

We often hear couples say, "we get inspired and motivated to create these changes for a few days, and then we forget or get off track." And that's exactly why we created the 30-Day Couples Challenge!

Relationship Resources (pick between): 

Level 1: "Prioritizing Us" is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun Love Deposit ideas. LINKED HERE - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

Level 2: "Rebuilding Us" is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE -  https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding

Talk about things before they become a bigger issue. On our vacation with family, I brought up the topic of intimacy (physical specifically) and it sparked a great conversation between us. Now for many this could be a conversation that isn't brought up and turns into a bigger issue later. This is when it can turn into a "weed" that impacts your marriage. Or it could be a conversation that causes defensiveness and conflict. Neither of these are positive options. 

You see, we want to talk about how we're feeling and what we want BEFORE it starts to affect  you and the connection, trust, or openness you have with your partner. 

In this episode you will hear us discuss:

• What's a "seed" in the relationship vs a "weed"

• What happens when we don't discuss things soon enough

• How to think about bringing these things up and making it a productive conversation

Relationship Resources:

The Level 1 "Prioritizing Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge (you get the popular Family Meeting guide as a bonus gift with this)

The Level 2 "Rebuilding Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge (repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage)

You've likely heard of the now popular Attachment Theory about having a secure, safe, trusting, and connected relationship. If you have, likely what you've seen is quite conceptual and you are not sure how to use the information. If you have not heard of this theory it simply describes how you connect and bond with a partner and how that was influenced by your parents (or primary caregiver) as well as other romantic relationships you have been in (primary attachment figures).

For us Attachment Theory has become so popular online, rightfully so, but without the right experts describing how to use this theory to make a difference in your own relationship, or how to actually change your style. In this episode you will hear from Attachment Theory expert, counselor, PhD, author, and founder of Personal Development School, Thais Gibson! You will hear her cover:

• The 4 Attachment Styles (quickly)

• The 5 Pillars and traits of each style

• How to reprogram your conscious mind (where attachment needs and behaviors come from) with tools like autosuggestion to change your style

Relationship Resources

Take the FREE Quiz to determine your Attachment Style: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz

Learn more from the Personal Development School: 

https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ 

Join our 30-Day Couples Challenges (level 1 or 2) starting July 1st, 2024

https://www.meetthefreemans.com/challenges

How would you rate the amount of stress in your life right now? We all know that some stress is good stress and that it's a part of life. Its commonly known that stress plays a major role in physical, mental, and emotional well-being of all of us individually. It's less known (or at least discussed) how much stress decreases marriage satisfaction and quality! 

In today's episode you will learn everything you ever wanted to know about the effects of stress on your marriage. After listening to this episode you will know:

• The 3 sources of stress

• How stress directly affects 2 key components in your marriage

• Ways to use key coping methods to deal with stress individually and together

• 10 + positive coping strategies that you can use to better handle the current stressors that you are facing in your life and marriage. So that you can feel relief and be on the same side no matter what stress you face.

Relationship Resources:

1) You can find all of our resources from guides, webclasses, events, to coaching sessions with this link: Best Resources

2)Join us at the in-person Couples Workshop in Arizona on Oct 6th, 2024. Use this as a weekend getaway for you and your partner and attend this 1/2 day event with us to communicate even better and handle challeges as a team. 

Today we explore the turning points where marriages either survive or fall apart, when they hit that "make it for break it" decision point. We've seen five couples end their relationships recently, one even filing papers yesterday, yet none of them reached out for support from us. Given marriage is what we do, it came as a shock to us when we heard the news. 

We know many people have this expereince when they hear about friends ending their relationships. So we want to give you the reasons why couples get to this point and WAYS to work at it.  In this episode we provide you with clarity as to the build up that gets couples to this point, but also how they can get THROUGH it together. Not just to survive, but to become more understanding, connected, and stronger as a team to face future challenges! 

Relationship Resources:

The "Rebuilding Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge, The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide, and more all LINKED HERE.

It's important for all of us to admit that we have defensive mechanisms and that we do get defensive with our partners at times. Let's allow ourselves some grace here. Many of you would probably relate to getting even more defensive about getting defensive! It is common to go on the offensive through deflection or blame, which can leave another feeling that their experience is being invalidated.

However that does not mean that someone is being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a much more serious pattern when it is happening, and is a strong accusation to make that can quickly escalate a conversation or conflict. In this episode you will hear the clear distinction between defensiveness and gaslighting so that you can use the terms properly and reduce escalation. By the end of the episode you will hear 6 different actions to take to reduce both defensiveness and gaslighting in your relations. Both of these lead to erosion of connection, love, and emotional closeness. 

Relationship Resources:

Join one of the 30 Day Couples Challenges starting Oct 1st, 2024 - select either one with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/challenges. Or see the individual details below: 

Level 1 details: "Prioritizing Us" is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun "Love Deposit" ideas. LINKED HERE

Level 2 details : "Rebuilding Us" is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE

One of the most common questions we get is "how do we create more emotional connection" with each other. The most popular question is about repair, but this is in second place! This is a great question because there isn't a single answer because it often depends on the season a couple is in and what the most meaningful needs are for each partner in that given season. Nevertheless, the constant creation of emotional connection is one of the single most important elements for having high satisfaction in a marriage. 

In this episode, we will reveal what we see as the 5 key components of emotional connection. Though you will have to use each of these aspects and determine how it fits into your current season, you will be much more clear and confident that you can create more closeness with your partner at any time. Being able to do this, you will also feel more secure about facing challenges that arise as a true team!

Relationship Resources:

Join one of the 30 Day Couples Challenges starting Oct 1st, 2024:

Level 1: "Prioritizing Us" is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun "Love Deposit" ideas. LINKED HERE

Level 2: "Rebuilding Us" is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE

Does it ever feel like you and your partner have different goals or even that your needs are conflicting with one another? This can be obvious when one partner is saying they need more quality time and the other is saying they need more time for themselves. But there is another conflicting goal that men and women have that is hard to detect. 

In this episode you will hear what this conflicting goal is, that you would likely never guess. From all the sessions we do, as well as having hosted our Couples Workshop, this is an underlying subconscious goal that is more pervasive than you realize. Listen in to make sure it is not affecting your relationship and hear what a better more collaborative goal is to have.

Relationship Resources

You can find all of our best resources from guides, 30 day challenges, and webclasses, with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

In marriage, unresolved hurts can pile up over time, creating distance and eroding trust. That's why forgiveness is one of the most crucial (yet challenging) elements to maintaining a healthy, connected relationship. But what does true forgiveness actually look like? And what blocks it from happening?

In this episode, we dive into the depths of forgiveness: what it is and what it isn't, why it's essential for moving forward, and how it affects your closeness as a couple. We'll also explore real-life examples of where forgiveness may be needed in marriage, what keeps couples stuck in hurt, and practical steps to move towards genuine healing. Whether you're navigating small offenses or deep ruptures, understanding forgiveness could be the key to breaking free from repetitive conflict cycles.

As you listen, we recommend these two relationship resources:

1. The Level 2 "Rebuilding Us" Couples Challenge

     2. The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide