The holidays are supposed to feel relaxing and joyful. But for many couples, they're anything but. Between travel plans, family visits, and unspoken expectations, this season can quickly become chaotic, exhausting, and full of tension. One partner often ends up feeling like they're carrying most of the mental and emotional load, while the other doesn't realize how unbalanced it feels.

In this episode, we're unpacking the real root of holiday stress in relationships: mismatched and unmet expectations. You'll hear the kinds of conversations you need to have to prevent disconnection and resentment. Everything from dividing travel and family responsibilities to setting boundaries with in-laws and staying emotionally connected as a couple. Because when you plan as a team, the holidays can actually bring you closer instead of pulling you apart.

✨ If you want the holidays to feel connected rather than chaotic - Join the Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge starting December 1st. This will keep your love accounts full before the season begins so you can stay united through whatever the season brings. Register at: MyCouplesChallenge.com.

Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we're unpacking a dynamic that quietly drains energy and connection in many marriages: when one partner is in enthusiastic, imaginative energy and the other instantly shifts into logic and control mode. We'll explore why this happens, what it reveals emotionally for each partner, and how to respond in a way that keeps the energy between you alive instead of shutting it down.

In this episode you'll hear:

• The hidden psychology behind why partners "squash" enthusiasm (even with good intentions)

• How to frame a conversation for your partner from the start, so you're on the same wavelength

• Practical shifts that help you stay connected and engaged, even when you see things differently

• Why joining in the energy doesn't mean agreeing to every idea

• How this dynamic slowly erodes emotional intimacy if you don't adjust
  
  

If you've ever felt misunderstood for your excitement, or struggled to stay open when your spouse starts dreaming big, this conversation will help you both feel seen and stay on the same wavelength.

If this episode resonates, grab our 3-Guide Bundle—a powerful trio of tools that help you communicate and stay connected during the moments that matter most:
📘 De-Escalating Conflicts
📘 Making Up & Moving Forward
📘 The Family Meeting Guide

Get the bundle at meetthefreemans.com/links and start using the same tools we teach our couples every day.

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we're being honest, the months leading up to it weren't easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction.

But here's the truth: challenges don't mean your marriage is broken. They're invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger.

In this episode, we're opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents.

Whether you've been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don't miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.

Relationship Resources:

In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we're keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again.

Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links

👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss:

0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples

3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision

9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other

15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team

25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage

32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels

39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt)

47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren't about the surface-level issue

53:03 – Lesson 8: Don't shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics

59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson

1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy

1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years

Parenting definitely shifts priorities, but that shouldn't mean we de-prioritize our marriage, right? This week was our daughter's 2nd birthday and we were reflecting on our own parenting journey up until this point.

We know from many couples that parenting really does shift many things in a marriage, even studies have shown that satisfaction goes down in the first 5 years of becoming parents. Though there are so many great positives that also come with being a parent, in this episode you will hear about the challenges that we have faced in the first 2 years, the common challenges other parents face, and the steps to take to better handle these challenges. All so that they do not negatively impact your marriage and you can focus more on all the benefits of being a parent and a great partner.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

If you have listened to the podcast at all you probably have thought "Yes, I get the importance of validating my partner but HOW exactly do I do that?" Even if this is your first time listening you likely have the same question about how to have your partner feel validated in their experience especially when you do not agree with their feelings or details of an event! 

Validating a partner is a difficult thing to do because you will not always see (or experience) events the same way. You also might feel as if they are blaming you for how they feel, which makes it more difficult to validate because it seems you have to take the blame. In this episode you will hear 7 easy actions to take to have your partner feel validated but also understand the real importance of validation on positive influence!

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

All Work & No Play Makes For A Dull Marriage. If you're like most of the couples we talk to, you've been working at overcoming patterns and challenges that have kept you stuck and in frustrating cycles. Many couples even say, "I'm so exhausted" or "When do we get back to more fun times?"

If you have ever seen the movie Moneyball, it's just clicking in a few key aspects so that you can get on a winning streak! In this episode you will hear a brief answer for why you might feel like you're on a losing streak, but how you can use the same ideas to turn it into a winning streak. Then we give you categories that you can take an action in to keep the positive momentum going.

Resources For Your Relationship:

1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

2)STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

We were not going to leave the men out from last week's episode about what women need in a marriage. This episode is about what men need that is often overshadowed and not expressed. Just so you know, the answer is not going to be sex… we have our own issue with accounts that tote sex as men's only need in a marriage (but you will hear that in the episode)!

In this episode you will hear about the need of Harmony and how that is a key need for men, even if they would not have said it that way. You will hear 5 pathways to practically move into more harmony and how to have men's underlying needs in this area be met so that each of you can be more fulfilled in both the short and long term!

Relationship Resources:

STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

In this insightful podcast episode, dive into the heart of successful marriages and discover a nuanced perspective on meeting the emotional needs of women, a crucial but often overlooked aspect. Women generally prioritize people and nurturing, while men care more about things and problem-solving. This difference poses a challenge to men in grasping the seemingly ever-changing emotional needs of their partners and introduces a vital skill: Emotional Attunement. 

You will hear a vivid contrast between what it looks like to be unattuned versus the transformative qualities of attunement. Attunement is commonly absent in many male partners  stemming from childhood experiences, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of self-validation. Ultimately, the episode empowers you with the profound understanding that emotional attunement is a cornerstone for creating a deeply connected and fulfilling marriage.

Resources For Your Relationship:

1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Dec 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

2)STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It's the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it's only $19.

If you plan to be married for a long time, you need to work through hard seasons, course-correct, and commit to make changes. These are the times that you need to take steps to rebuild the marriage and start a chapter. This is PART 2 of the "Steps to Rebuild a Marriage" episode #312 as we got so many messages about this topic. 

In this episode we will briefly remind you of the steps to rebuild, which we have shortened from 8 to 6. Then we will dive further into 4 ways that you can easily get off track in these difficult conversations for rebuilding. These conversations are inherently going to be more vulnerable and potentially charged, so you will need to quickly adjust when you feel them getting off track. 

Relationship Resources From This Episode:

The brand NEW Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide so you can end a hard season and create a new chapter together.

Meeting each other's needs is the basis for a great relationship. This can get complex especially when it comes to the need of intimacy in a marriage, a fundamental need that often takes different forms for men and women. While some men seek physical intimacy to feel connected, their female partners emphasize the need for emotional intimacy. 

In this episode you will hear the significance of first establishing emotional safety (in its various forms) before either type of intimacy can be created. Then how each person's need can be accepted as valid and a  roadmap for building emotional intimacy through 4 key elements: attunement, honesty, vulnerability, and initiation. 

As for physical intimacy, you will hear the keys of emphasizing love deposits, injecting fun, and introducing intentional variety into the experience. You will understand that you can in fact meet both of your needs as they are independent of each other first. The meeting of those needs further raise both the emotional and physical aspects of your marriage.

Relationship Resources (mentioned in the episode):

1) Register for the next "Prioritize Us" 30 Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting Guide as a part of it. 

2) Get the Family Meeting Guide on it's own now. 

It's not that difficult to show up as a great partner when everything is going smoothly in your life. Being an exceptional partner has much to do with how you show up in the face of challenges and things not going how you planned. 

In this episode you will hear 5 ways to be an exceptional partner that will be demonstrated through aligning your words and actions, being responsible for the attitude you bring to the environment, how you show up in support, focusing on the satisfaction of your partner, and your mental and emotional resiliency. 

Relationship Resources:

Check out the in-person couples workshop in Arizona Jan 28th. http://thecouplesworkshop.com/

Explore all the resources from simple guides to private coaching. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

Disconnection and dissatisfaction can often stem from a power struggle for leadership, especially if it's been absent. This episode highlights the unique marriage challenges in contemporary relationships, where misconceptions about domination and disengagement can create more conflicts. 

Leadership within a marriage is not about control but influence and the initiative to guide. This episode explores essential leadership values  including a just cause, trust within the team, accountability, collaborative rivalry, substantial flexibility, and the courage to navigate life's challenges together. Ultimately, you'll be inspired to approach your marriage with a renewed perspective for sharing leadership for long-term satisfaction.

Marriage Resources: 

Find all the resoruces you need from simple step-by-step guides, to webclasses, in person workshops, and even private coaching at https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

In this thought-provoking episode, you'll explore the intriguing concept of "crucible moments" and where you have already experienced them in your own relationship. These pivotal junctures, situations, or decision points test the strength of your bond and commitment, with choices leading to breakthroughs or declines in your relationship.

You'll hear real-life examples, from navigating the newborn stage to handling heated arguments or even a big financial loss. This episode encourages you to make decisions aligned with your values, practice ruthless self-honesty, and consider the long-term consequences, leaving you with essential guidance for when you are confronted with critical crucible moments in your marriage! 

Relationship Resources:

Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Nov 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

What keeps couples united through all the ups and downs? A shared vision. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, we break down why having a vision together is essential, how to define your values as a couple, and the practical steps to keep you connected in both everyday life and during challenges.

Whether you're in a hard season or just feeling stuck in routine, your vision as a couple is what pulls you out of the mundane and gives deeper meaning to your marriage.

In this episode you will hear:

-Why self-focus leads to more negativity (and how vision shifts that)

-The 4 steps to creating a shared vision for your marriage and family

-How values guide tough choices around career, parenting, and money

-Ways to connect daily life back to your bigger purpose together

-How to turn challenges into growth and strengthen your bond long-term

👉 Ready to reignite your intimacy and spark? Our Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is only open 3x a year—don't miss this round. Join here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

If you enjoy this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a comment, and write us a quick review—it means the world to us and helps more couples find the podcast!

Timestamps of Episode:
0:00 – Why self-focus increases negativity
0:18 – How vision helps you think beyond yourself
0:34 – The danger of losing sight of your shared values
0:47 – Making hard choices aligned with your vision
1:00 – Looking back on challenges with pride
1:19 – Welcome + episode introduction
1:55 – Why vision bonds couples from the beginning
2:14 – Losing sight of "why" in everyday life
2:38 – Announcement: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge
3:18 – Why vision is collaborative and long-term
3:40 – The psychology of self-consciousness & negative emotion
4:23 – How lack of vision creates conflict cycles
4:39 – Seeing hard seasons in the bigger picture
5:18 – Finding meaning even in the mundane days
6:26 – Step 1: Moving from present pain to future vision
7:52 – How vision brings relief and peace
9:09 – Parenting example: values guiding hard choices
10:17 – Step 2: Defining higher values and purpose
11:25 – Career choices and money vs. vision
12:37 – Step 3: Creating a simple, memorable vision statement
13:47 – Aligning vision with values, actions, and results
15:29 – Expanding your vision beyond your family
16:06 – Vision boards and visual reminders
16:29 – Step 4: Connecting present challenges back to vision
17:09 – Real parenting example from our daughter
18:43 – Seeing challenges as stepping stones to vision
19:29 – Simple reflection questions for couples
20:18 – The Hero's Journey and your marriage
20:38 – Looking back on challenges with pride and strength
21:07 – Who you want to become vs. what you want to achieve
21:59 – Why connection is the most fulfilling outcome
22:22 – Final reminder: Best of Us 30-Day Challenge
23:16 – Closing encouragement + subscribe & review

In this podcast episode, the fifth step in rebuilding a marriage takes center stage – expressing and agreeing to non-negotiables. Overall this is a crucial step for building trust and granting forgiveness. You will hear 4 non-negotiables that we feel are paramount to a strong and lasting marriage. Those steps are individual responsibility, emotional intelligence, open communication, and developing the traits of flexibility and resilience. You will discover how these keys lead to a stronger, more connected partnership, where both partners actively participate in nurturing a resilient and fulfilling relationship that will last.

Resources: 

1) Join the FREE Marriage Webclass on communication, conflict repair, and deescalation on Oct 19th, 2023. Register at: https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/ 

2) After that date, find the resource guides here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

Are you facing a difficult season in your marriage, feeling weighed down, worn out, or dissatisfied by challenges and conflicts? This type of season is not uncommon for marriages. Though it seems complex and ominous to tackle, there are specific patterns that have brought you both to this place. 

In this episode you'll explore the process of revitalizing a marriage mired in challenges, resentment, and conflicts and provides you with crucial steps to navigate this journey. You'll learn the importance of committing authentically to your relationship, focusing on effective communication, shedding old patterns, and identifying non-negotiables. By listening, you'll gain insight and guidance to embark on the challenging yet hopeful path of rebuilding your marriage and becoming the partners you aspire to be for a stronger future together.

Resources:

You can find our top resources, incuding step-by-step guides and online courses, with this one link here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

In this episode, you'll explore the critical role of agreements during times of conflicts in your own marriage. Just like any game, your marriage really only works on the adherence to certain rules or guidelines, then everyone can have fun playing the game! While your marriage involves various agreements for different aspects of life, the most vital ones are those designed for navigating conflicts. These agreements, treated as laws, encompass actions for you to take or avoid when emotions run high, including refraining from yelling, name-calling, bringing up past grievances, or storming out without communicating the need for a break. 

Beyond mere verbal promises, these agreements demand your genuine commitment and personal responsibility. Emotions are viewed as data, not directives, and you're encouraged to recognize your emotions, calm your nervous system, and pause when necessary. Even when your partner fails to uphold their agreements, this episode stresses the importance of your personal integrity and establishing minimum acceptable standards for yourself, ultimately providing you with a roadmap for resolving conflicts constructively and maintaining a healthy marriage.

Resources:

NEW DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. It's the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and it's only $19.

What truly determines the health and success of a romantic relationship? While popular resources online suggest differences in personality traits, attachment styles, past traumas, or external stressors as contributing factors, the episode sheds light on a more precise concept – "relationship stability." 

Psychologists have coined this term to better measure long-term success in relationships, ultimately linked to the duration of the partnership along with a sense of fulfillment, not driven by obligation or fear. The VSA model of Marriage, encompassing Vulnerabilities, Stress, and Adaptation, takes center stage, highlighting the significance of effective communication, problem-solving, compromise, support, and the ability to adapt and evolve behavior to nurture a healthy and satisfying marriage. 

This episode invites you to reflect on their own relationships, emphasizing that it's not about what happens to you, but how you respond when vulnerabilities surface amidst external stressors. Also, make sure you join the upcoming 30-Day Couples Challenge here. Receive daily prompts to fill your "Love Accounts," improve your communication, and become more connected.

In this heartfelt podcast episode, you'll explore the crucial difference between falling in love and staying in love. The hosts share insightful points on making your partner feel seen, appreciated, adored, respected, and accepted over time. They also emphasize the importance of navigating the natural ebbs and flows of intimacy, remaining receptive to each other's needs, course-correcting when necessary, and investing the effort required for enduring love. This episode provides you with a roadmap to cultivate a deep, lasting connection with your partner, reminding you that love is a journey, and staying in love is an ongoing commitment, regardless of the stage of your relationship.

Resources:

Use this link to find our top communication and conflict resolution resources and guides. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

FREE BOOK for reviews through Sept 21st, 2023:

Want us to personally sign and mail you a copy of our book, The Argument Hangover? For EVERY SINGLE one of you that writes a review for our podcast, or emails us about how our guides or challenges have benefited you, we will send this book. Due to shipping restrictions, this applies to those in the United States. For those of you outside the U.S., we will send you the E-Book plus a bonus thank you gift. Just email us the review: connect@newpowercouples.com. This goes through Sept 21st, 2023. 

We know this can be a hard conversation, but it's critical in order to protect our children from the very real threats and predators. You might think that trafficking is something that is distant or would not affect your area or town. But as you'll learn from today's guest, Rosalia Rivera, the abuse and trafficking of children occurs mostly in plain sight, in areas near and around you.

But this episode is not to put you in fear; in fact, it's to empower you to have specific ACTIONS to take, whether your kids are 2 or already up to teens. 

You will hear:

• The difference between human trafficking and sexual abuse of children

• What it means to teach "consent" to children, and conversations to have from parent to child

• What age you can start having these conversations about body autonomy and consent

• 3 specific ways to protect children from online predators or exploitation

• 3 specific ways to protect children from local threats, even that can occur in their clubs, sports activities, and sleepovers with neighbors

• Conversations to start with your local community, their schools, and daycares, 

• And so much more. All of it is sobering and somewhat shocking that we have to think about this, but we DO

Dive into her helpful resources here on her website and instagram! 

After you dive into the episode, be sure to sign-up for the 30-Day Couples Challenge starting Sept 1st! This is the best step to consistently add to your love account levels and be more connected on a daily basis. 

Of course not all relationships are the same because of the personality dynamics that are unique to the two of you and also the specific events or challenges that you face in your marriage. This is where the episode really makes a claim; that you will face challenges in your life and marriage together. 

As you listen to this episode you are going to hear 3 inescapable truths that you must accept and navigate as to lead to having more happy than hard days. This will be even more critical when you are facing challenges, whether internal or external, so that you can still have happiness, understanding, and collaboration no matter what challenges arise!

Becoming a mother is a transformative and in some ways challenging journey. Everyone focuses on the actions of being a parent and not enough on the identity shifts and emotional journey that it really is. 

Today's guest expert, Dr Morgan Cutlip, wrote the book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself. In today's interview with her, you'll hear:

• Why "balance" is bologna and what to seek instead

• The core inner conflicts a mom faces, and likely doesn't expect

• The impossible standards we set for ourselves and how that affects us

• How to banish or tame the guilt we encounter with the decisions we make as a mother

After you tune in to the interview, please support this hard-working mom by ordering her book and claim the bonuses she provides HERE.

Picture this: you and your partner on vacation at your favorite spot, yet you haven't exchanged a word in three days. The silent tension, the "stand-off," can feel like it's tearing your relationship apart, whether it's a recurring pattern or a prolonged icy silence. But fear not, because in this episode, we dive into the fascinating realm of how our minds can play tricks on us, especially in the heat of a relationship blow-up. Discover the cognitive twists and turns that can lead to misunderstandings and emotional chaos. 

We explore the psychology behind intelligence and how our cognitive development shapes the way we interpret conflicts. From confirmation bias that paints your partner as the villain to cognitive distortions that blur the lines between feelings and facts, we unravel the mysteries behind these mental mechanisms.

Join us as we guide you through navigating the complex landscape of emotions, reminding you that while feelings are valid, they might not always align with reality. Tune in to learn how to dismantle the stand-off, focusing on self-reflection, responsibility, and solution-oriented repair. Don't let your relationship be a casualty of the stand-off – let's bridge the gap together.

Additional Resources From the Show

Join us in-person at The Couples Workshop on September 10th, 2023 in Arizona.

Get the Making Up & Moving Forward guide to repair faster and more effectively.

Proactive communication allows you to have more harmony, ease, and unity in your relationship. But what does that really mean, is it just speaking your mind more often?

We all know that "our partner can't read our mind," but how many of us try to just survive the chaos of life without communicating enough with our partner? Or worse, communicate "reactively" once there's already tension, frustration, and miscommunications.

Today's episode gives you 3 helpful steps to focus on more proactive communication as a couple. These steps will help you be more on the same page, avoid little upsets, and build more trust in each other.

Resources For Your Relationship:

To help with these conversations ongoingly, you can get our Family Meeting Guide here for constructive weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-ins.

Marriage after kids can feel like survival mode. Once out of the immediate chaos, it can settle into a state of function. Between diapers, school runs, shuttling to sports practices, your work, and endless to-do lists at home, it's easy to put your relationship on the back burner. But here's the truth: your kids don't just thrive on how well you care for them—they thrive on how connected YOU are as a couple.

In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, Jocelyn & Aaron ("The Freemans") share practical, real-life ways to stay emotionally and physically connected after kids. You'll learn how to move beyond just "functioning" as roommates and bring back fulfillment, intimacy, and spark in your marriage before it's too late.

If you've ever felt the distance growing, this conversation will give you hope and concrete steps you can implement today.

From this episode you'll walk away with:

• How to make daily emotional check-ins that go beyond "How was your day?"
• Why non-sexual touch matters (and how to bring it back without pressure)
• Simple ways to make family dinners and daily routines bonding moments
• How to prioritize weekly and yearly quality time as a couple
• Why your kids benefit most when YOU thrive together

Don't just survive marriage after kids—reignite the connection that makes everything else in family life easier. Not only is this for your own satisfaction, but critical for what you then model to your kids. 

Want to reignite the spark and feel truly connected again? Join the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge—a proven path to bring back emotional closeness, intimacy, and joy in your marriage. Enrollment only opens a few times per year, so don't miss this round: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best 👈

If This Episode Resonated, Don't Forget to:

-Subscribe for weekly episodes

-Leave a rating & review to support the show

-Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement

Episode Topics Timestamp:

00:08 – Why putting your relationship on the back burner hurts your kids too

00:09:50 – The emotional wall couples feel after building the "dream life"

00:10:38 – Why dissatisfaction peaks around the 10-year mark (and how to avoid it)

00:13:37 – Connection is what makes parenting and life easier

00:14:00 – Step 1: Daily emotional check-ins (not just logistics)

00:19:18 – Step 2: Non-sexual touch & physical affection

00:23:59 – Why kids need to SEE your love, not just receive it

00:25:02 – Special edition: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge

00:28:11 – Step 3: Make family dinners intentional & device-free

00:32:57 – Step 4: Weekly marriage nights (beyond TV time)

00:34:44 – Step 5: Yearly getaways & bucket list adventures together

00:37:24 – The danger of drifting apart slowly

00:39:34 – Kids notice everything—why your marriage is their model

00:41:26 – Final encouragement & invitation to reignite your spark

Join us in this episode as we dive deep into the intricate ways your upbringing shapes your approach to 4 crucial dynamics of your marriage. You will hear the subtle yet profound influences of your past on how you navigate these dynamics with your partner. We all recognize the power of our formative experiences, from childhood to early romance, and their lasting effects on us, but what can you really do about it, right? 

We'll explore how your emotional regulation, sense of responsibility, reception of feedback, and ability to repair are intricately tied to your upbringing. Discover how your family's approach to emotions, promises, feedback, and conflict resolution unconsciously shape your behavior in these key areas. Tune in to gain insights that will empower you and your partner to create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship, building a bridge between your past and your future together.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Attend the LIVE Couples Workshop in Arizona on Sept. 10th, 2023:

http://thecouplesworkshop.com/

Find our recomended guides, webclasses, and courses on our main website:

https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

Having good friendships is critical to your fulfillment in life and plays a big role in your marriage as well. However, not all of your friends will tell you the hard truth and some of the things that you really need to hear if you are to get out of a hard season in your relationship. 

It's also unlikely that your friends are relationship coaches so there is a key piece of advice that you will not hear from any of them, that you really need to hear. This episode is all about how you need to stop acting from how you feel and start acting from your commitment. Listen to this episode so that you can take a stand to turn a hard season around and keep it from any further decline or disconnection.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Attend the LIVE Couples Workshop in Arizona on Sept. 10th, 2023:

http://thecouplesworkshop.com/

Find our recomended guides, webclasses, and courses on our main website:

https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

We went on an impromptu staycation this weekend… just us! And we used some of our time (besides playing, flirting, and relaxing) to have some meaningful conversations. We like to call them "check-ins." This one in particular happened to be getting on the same page about our life and marriage priorities for the rest of the year. 

Do you and your partner feel on the same page about what your priorities are? If you don't take some time a few times per year, you can just be going about the motions expending energy in two different directions… or nowhere at all, really.

So dive into today's episode to get some inspiration for a great conversation you can have together!

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. This one starts Aug 1st, 2023 and you get the Family Meeting Guide included.

If you just want the Family Meeting Guide on it's own, you can get it separately here too. 

This highly anticipated episode is finally here! Today we dive into underlying frustrations and areas of dissatisfaction for men that we want to be mindful of in our relationship.

Remember, these aren't to blame one person. We both can participate in meeting each other's needs, preventing frustrations, and talking through the patterns that are interconnected.

After you dive into the episode, be sure to sign-up for the 30-Day Couples Challenge starting August 1st!

Getting married and choosing to do life with someone means that you're also saying, "I am going to care about your needs, I am going to care about whether you're satisfied or not, and I am going to do my best to meet the standards we've set for a partnership."

When this stops happening for various reasons, then the fulfillment and satisfaction for that partner can start to go down. So today's episode is really about boosting satisfaction in the partnership by understanding the top sources of dissatisfaction for women specifically and how to prevent them. 

To go with today's episode, also get access to our Family Meeting Guide and Templates here: 

https://thecouplesexperience.com/family

All great teams "huddle" often, whether a sports team or a professional team. But how often do you guys check-in? Today's episode covers how to have a weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-in. This is a major update to our process we shared in 2021, which was a SUPER popular episode. You'll hear the 5 questions to ask each other every week, what to discuss about your relationship every quarter of the year, and big picture topics to stay on track on a yearly basis. 

We promise, these can be accomplished in just a few minutes and will help you prevent miscommunications, tackle issues proactively, and experience more harmony in the relationship!

To go with the episode, get our BRAND NEW Family Meeting Guide & Templates here:

https://thecouplesexperience.com/family

Also from the episode, you can get the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide if you need more guidance on how to repair things that were unresolved.

Life will always have challenges and we believe it's about how you respond to them as well as how well you learn and grow. This is a huge aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship, how you handle challenges as a team. 

Hopefully you know that we are not here to sugar coat anything or give you any advice that is not practical or useful in your daily marriage. So in this episode we share updates from the last 18 months as it was the hardest season we have had as a couple. It is our intent to share these challenges and updates while sharing the lessons and wisdom we have gained (and are still gaining), so that maybe you can learn the lessons without going through it yourself! 

A major part of us getting through this hard season, truly united as a team, is how often we checked-in with each other. We always knew where we were each at mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We also knew what actions and patterns we needed to change. We did all this by using our Family Meeting Guide & templates that we now have available for you for ust $19. We hope this can get you back on the same page and kepe you there though any challenge you are facing as a couple! 

For the Guide just to go https://thecouplesexperience.com/family

In this episode we unravel the crucial distinction between repair, finding a solution, and resolution in relationships. Repairing conflicts, rather than simply reducing the frequency of them, is a powerful indicator of a healthy and lasting partnership. You will hear the misconception that finding a solution automatically leads to resolution, and why the emotional aspect of repair is equally vital. By understanding the formula of Repair + Solution = Resolution, we provide you with the tools to navigate conflicts more effectively and create lasting harmony. 

Resources For Your Relationship:

1. Last chance to sign up for the 30-Day Couples Challenge starting July 1st. Join here.
2. Get the Making Up & Moving Forward guide here.

We all know that relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to expressing our needs. Ever found yourself in a situation where you're feeling frustrated but can't quite put your finger on why? You're not alone. In this episode, we dive into the importance of identifying and expressing your needs within a romantic partnership. We'll explore why simply venting your frustrations isn't enough and how it can lead to misunderstandings and communication breakdowns. 

By learning to articulate your needs, you'll unlock a whole new level of understanding and connection. We'll discuss fundamental human needs, drawing inspiration from Maslow's Hierarchy and the 6 Human Needs model, and provide practical examples of physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Join us as we share relatable insights and actionable tips that will empower you to create a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.

Join The 30-Day Couples Challenge called "Prioritizing Us" as it starts July 1st HERE

In this episode we tackle a common challenge in relationships: expressing strong emotions to our partners without considering the present mood. We've all been there, feeling the urge to let it all out, only to realize it may not be the best time or could escalate tensions further. That's why we're here to guide you through the art of discerning the mood before speaking up.

By understanding the momentum and direction of the interaction, you can make informed choices that either diffuse the energy or lead to a positive outcome. We'll also explore the importance of nurturing your partner's "Love Account," which acts like a bank account for love and connection. But that's not all! We'll share practical tips on how to approach these situations with empathy and curiosity, asking your partner what they truly need rather than jumping to conclusions.

Sign up for The 30-Day Couples Challenge, which simplifies how to make positive shifts in your relationship with daily prompts/actions directly from us to your phone for 30 days. 

https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

As parents, we know that feeling of guilt from knowing that our kiddos saw or heard the argument. But instead of guilty, we want you to become motivated to focus on the 3 keys in this episode. Make sure they see you:

1. DE-ESCALATE the rising emotion and conflict

2. Implement a constructive pause, and not a rupture

3. Fully REPAIR after an argument

For more detail on these principles, get our 2 popular guides:

1. De-Escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions guide here:

2. Making Up & Moving Forward guide here:

The 30-Day Couples Challenge starts THIS week, so sign up here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

In this episode, we dive into the subtle ways that effort can dwindle once we've achieved our goals. Think about athletes reaching their peak or accomplishing a major milestone in your personal life—there's a loss of that initial hunger and drive. The same can happen in your marriage, but it's trickier because there isn't a clear finish line or "scoreboard" to tell us how well we're doing. 

By listening you will get the signs of declining effort, like depleted love accounts, quick and thoughtless communication, fading passion, and that feeling of coasting or routine. But don't worry, we've got you covered with five powerful ways to rekindle that effort. From small love deposits and appreciating conscious choices to thoughtful greetings and setting the right mood, we share practical strategies to feel more prioritized, loved, and connected.

You know that conflicts will happen in a marriage, this truth should not be resisted or avoided. However what if that same conflict comes up again and what if that turns into a pattern that shows up over and over again? This is what creates a hard season in marriage. But if this goes on for multiple weeks, months, or even years then you feel as if nothing is going to change and you lose hope in the marriage. 

Some people see ending the marriage as the only option, because honestly who would want to continue to expose themselves to the same pain over and over. You need relief… and we agree. But this episode gives you 7 steps to take to get yourself out of this pattern and subsequently out of this hard season in your marriage. It's not easy, but then again neither is this current situation and neither is a divorce. So really this is the best option for you.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

The obvious statement is that men and women differ in how they emotionally connect. But the actions one can take to close the gap between how men and women connect is not as practical. Couples get stuck in the trap of "I just don't connect the same way as my partner". 

In this episode you are going to hear 3 different ways that men feel emotionally connected and 3 different ways for women. No matter how different you think you and your partner are in this area of connection, you can use one of these ways to better connect and be in harmony with your partner.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge - the 30 day challenge for busy couples to re-prioritize each other and be more connected. 

Do you ever wish that you were back in that infamous "honeymoon" stage of your marriage? Believe us we understdand why we hear this from couples. You want to be in that feeling of newness, optimism, passion, and infinite possibilites with a true partner at your side. There is something to honor about this stage but the reality is that this is not just a short window of time that you cannot get back.

It's just that you were doing a bunch of things unconsciously that were leading to this feeling of marrital bliss. In this episode you will be enlightened hearing these 4 things that you just forget to do after being together for years. In some situations it's not that you even forgot but they you never realized you were doing them in the forst place. But now you can relaize what these actions are and consciously bring them into your life to add to increaes your connection, optimism, and feeling of possibility! 

Resources For Your Relationship:

NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.

NEW DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. It's the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and it's also only $19.

Do you ever feel that your partner just doesn't understand and that they just don't empathize with what you are feeling? This is a big topic for many couples. A key element of a great relationship is that you can be going through a difficult time (even if caused by your partner) and you have a partner that can be comforting and compassionate to be on your side as you go through it. 

In this episode you will hear the difference between empathy and sympathy so that you can better understand which you are actually needing from them. Then you will hear some of the blocks to showing empathy and sympathy and a few steps to better demonstrate that in your relationship.

Resources For Your Relationship:

NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.

NEW DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. It's the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and it's also only $19.

You can feel so taken off guard and frustrated when a seemingly simple conversation with your partner escalates into a conflict. When this happens both of you tend to say or do things that do more damage to the other. This is even more irritating because it could have been easily avoided in your mind. 

This is exactly the point of this episode, the mistakes that escalate conversations into conflicts. In this episode you will hear 3 mistakes so that you can better recognize them and take a more constructive action so that you can de-escalate the emotion, accept it, and still stay on the same team with each other.

Resources For Your Relationship:

NEW DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. It's the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and it's only $19.

If you haven't yet got the repair guide to go with it, it's the step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's also only $19!

At first you might not think that you feel any jealousy in your marriage. But jealousy is simply the feeling of unhappiness or anger because someone has something you want. Yet there are others that might feel this emotion more prevalently. 

In this episode you will understand more about jealousy and where it can come from. Then you will have 5 steps to take to overcome this feeling in collaboration with your partner.

Resources For Your Relationship:

1) NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.

2) Watch our FREE WebClass on: The 5 Steps to Fully Repair After an Argument So You Reconnect in Minutes (Instead of Hours, Days, Weeks). Pick a time to watch it here.

3) To find even more resources like webclasses, books, guides and coaching; visit our resources page here https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

Understanding the concepts of inner child and shadow patterns is crucial for a healthy marriage. We are not going to sugarcoat this either, it's one of the most difficult yet necessary things to do. In this podcast, you will explore how these two aspects can impact your behavior and dynamic in your relationship. Then you will learn practical strategies for working with these deep rooted patterns, you'll gain valuable tools for integrating these parts of yourself, promoting greater self awareness and ability to break old patterns in your marriage.

Resources For Your Relationship:

NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.

By now you know that repairing after your conflicts with your partner is one of the most critical aspects for a marriage. It might even be the most critical. If you do not repair, you just create more problems later on and you drive an emotional wedge between you. Repair is not an easy thing to do for two reasons that you will hear in this episode. 

One of these reasons is the whole purpose of this episode… you do not identify the real root cause of the conflict. Most people just try and move on, but this will only have the problem repeat. In this episode are 5 root causes of conflicts that you need to reflect on in your repair process so that you can actually address and change the actions that are needed in your relationship. 

If you want to listen to the replay of the full webclass on this topic, just use this link here: Why Are We Arguing Again Webclass. Then if you are wanting to better use these root causes in your repair process, be sure you get the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide so you can stay on track all the way to resolve your conflicts.

The problem isn't that your desire or drive is changing. The problem is that you're not talking about these changes and finding solutions on how to evolve with them and stay connected. 

In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, we share the real reasons intimacy shifts over time (especially after kids, through peri-menopause, or with stress and aging), and how couples can adapt together rather than growing apart.

In this episode you'll hear:

-A raw confession from a wife/mom at a retreat Jocelyn spoke at recently

-The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire

-Why intimacy isn't just physical—it's deeply emotional and environmental

-How hormones, lifestyle, and fear influence libido

-Practical steps to create a more connected, satisfying intimate relationship—at any age

This episode is part of our Intimacy Series—helping couples reignite closeness and communication in every season of marriage. Want daily prompts to rebuild emotional & physical intimacy?

👉Join our special edition 30-Day Couples Challenge: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Timeline of what we discuss in this episode: 

00:00 – A real confession: "I feel guilt because I used to want intimacy all the time…"

00:21 – The real problem isn't desire changing—it's not talking about it

00:42 – Welcome to the Empowered Couples Podcast

01:00 – The impact of postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause

02:03 – Men experience changes too (and it affects confidence)

02:52 – Don't compare to the past—it's not the same anymore

03:17 – Powerful conversation starters to open up about desire

04:00 – Do men and women experience different libido shifts?

05:00 – Understanding hormonal changes: perimenopause and aging

06:01 – Postpartum, hormone shifts, and how your body chemistry changes

07:00 – Getting your hormones tested and being proactive

08:00 – Personal lifestyle changes and challenges we've faced

09:04 – Poor sleep, stress, and sedentary living affect libido

10:11 – Emotional exhaustion and cycle awareness in women

11:18 – How birth control and fertility windows affect attraction

12:18 – Fathers experience biological shifts too

13:06 – Fear of pregnancy can lower intimacy desire

14:05 – Lifestyle habits that support libido

15:21 – The power of variety, newness, and weekly rhythms

16:22 – Our 30-Day Challenge to reignite the spark (The Best of Us)

17:14 – Why we brought this challenge back more than once a year

18:04 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained

20:20 – Most women (and couples) are more responsive than spontaneous

22:15 – Long-term relationships shift desire patterns

23:13 – Intimacy becomes more about environment and intention

24:32 – Create emotional connection without pressure

25:02 – Start with the hard conversation: talk about what's changed

26:04 – Learn your erotic blueprint—how you're wired now, not then

27:07 – Focus more on quality of intimacy than frequency

28:23 – Final marriage reminder: evolve together, not apart

29:13 – Join the 30-Day Best of Us Challenge

29:30 – Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Review

Is it just random and based on your inherent personality traits whether you are a great spouse and partner? What if it wasn't so much about your personality traits anyway, as it was other character traits that you could develop along the way? That would feel encouraging and empowering to us, and it should to you as well! 

To us it doesn't matter as much about the personality traits that you come into a relationship with. The fact is everyone is different and that makes every relationship unique in the dynamics that will happen based on your trait differences. However, as you will hear in this episode, there are 4 crucial traits that you can proactively develop that will make you a great partner consistently! No matter what your personality these traits can and should be developed to have a great marriage.

Resources For Your Relationship:

We don't do this often so make sure you attend our FREE LIVE WebClass on March 30th, 2023: Why Are We Arguing Again? a weblcass to identify the real root causes of conflict so you can ultimately resolve them

NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.

We don't do this often so make sure you attend our FREE LIVE WebClass on March 30th, 2023: Why Are We Arguing Again? a weblcass to identify the real root causes of conflict so you can ultimately resolve them

When a challenge comes up in your life or you have a conflict with your partner, do you shrink down to your default responses or rise to the occasion? When you face situations that call for you to change a pattern of behavior or adjust your willingness to have the hard but necessary conversations do you resist or embrace it?

Today's episode is all about becoming a "Resilient" versus "Resistant" couple. A resistant couple is going to find themselves in the same patterns of conflict, results in life, and attitudes toward each other. To break out of these patterns you need to adopt the mindset of being resilient. You will hear examples of ways to adopt this new mentality so that you can make the real change you desire in your marriage and face life's challenges as a team!

Ongoing Resources For Your Relationship:

NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.

Red flags in regards to relationships are warning signs. But often these warning signs are spoken about as a reflection into the past as a reason to have gotten out of the relationship earlier. 

Though this is a fine practice if you are dating or even engaged, when it comes to a committed marriage, these red flags signify something different. These red flags are not reasons for you to leave the marriage at all, these are signs you want to be on the lookout for throughout your years together to help signal you both about the patterns that need to shift in your relationship together. 

In this episode you will hear which red flags you should be on the lookout for and then come together to figure out what needs to shift between the two of you. You will get examples of types of changes to make for each red flag so that you are constantly on the same page, growing closer together, and better managing the challenges that arise in life.

Resources For Your Relationship:

NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.