Explore every episode of the podcast Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What if the person your child needs protection from is someone they already know and trust? Child sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic, but staying silent can leave children without the knowledge or confidence to speak up. Dr Justin Coulson talks with counselling psychotherapist Karen Phillip, author of I Thought He Was My Friend, about grooming, recognising warning signs, teaching children the difference between secrets and surprises, and helping them find their voice. Learn how to have age-appropriate conversations that keep children safe without making them afraid of the world.

KEY POINTS:

• Why children are often harmed by someone they already know and trust.

• The difference between secrets and surprises, and why the distinction matters.

• How grooming uses trust, threats and secrecy to silence children.

• Why children need to know they don't have to be polite when someone makes them uncomfortable.

• How to recognise changes in behaviour, including refusing to visit certain people or places.

• How to ask open-ended questions and listen without leading your child's answers.

• Why conversations about personal safety need to start when children are young.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"If it's not feeling comfortable for you, then it's not right for you."

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• I Thought He Was My Friend by Karen Phillip

• Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Teach your children that surprises are shared, but secrets should never have to be kept.

• Remind them they never have to be polite when someone crosses their boundaries.

• Start age-appropriate conversations about personal safety from a young age.

• Ask open-ended questions such as "What's making you feel uncomfortable?" rather than questions that suggest an answer.

• Take changes in behaviour seriously, especially when a child suddenly refuses to visit someone or go somewhere.

• Make sure your child knows they can always tell you something, and you will listen without getting angry.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a child who hates holidays, refuses new foods and struggles with unfamiliar places chooses a trip to China? Kylie shares how giving their 12-year-old daughter a say in the family holiday led to an experience that surprised everyone. From trying unfamiliar food to making new friends and exploring the Great Wall of China, this trip offered some unexpected lessons in parenting, independence and giving kids more control. Discover how to get reluctant kids excited about family holidays without letting them dictate every detail.

Key Points:

• Why asking kids what they actually want from a holiday can change their attitude.

• How giving children a say builds autonomy and cooperation.

• Why a group tour can be a great option for travelling with kids.

• Preparing reluctant eaters for unfamiliar food and new experiences.

• How hands-on activities make holidays more engaging for children.

• Giving kids choices without handing over all the decisions.

• Recognising when children need downtime and when they're ready for a challenge.

Quote of the Episode:

"The biggest highlight for me was watching our 12-year-old. It was almost like she was growing up right before my eyes."

Action Steps for Parents:

• Ask your child what they don't enjoy about family holidays.

• Give them a chance to suggest destinations or activities they'd love to experience.

• Find small ways to offer choices, even if they're too young to choose the destination.

• Look for hands-on experiences that let kids explore, create and learn.

• Talk about unfamiliar food and experiences before you travel.

• Allow room for rest and downtime rather than filling every moment.

• Consider a group tour if your children enjoy being around other kids.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your kids might roll their eyes at you today, but the little things you do as a family could become the memories they treasure for a lifetime. Justin and Kylie share why family traditions matter, how unexpected moments become lasting rituals, and why parenting doesn't always come with the answers. From teenagers who are embarrassed by their parents to a Christmas tradition that nearly got cancelled, this episode is a reminder that the small things often mean the most.

KEY POINTS:

• Why parenting doesn't always go to plan, even when you're doing everything right.

• Learning to let teenagers grow up without taking their independence personally.

• Why family traditions create belonging, identity and lasting memories.

• How everyday routines like Sunday dinners can become the traditions children cherish.

• Simple ways to create meaningful family traditions without spending money.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"Traditions often just happen because of what you do with your family on a regular basis."

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Think about the little things your family does regularly. Could they already be traditions?

• Start a simple ritual, such as Sunday dinner, a family walk or dancing in the kitchen.

• Ask your children which family traditions matter most to them.

• Don't panic when parenting doesn't go to plan. Keep showing up and give your children room to grow.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is smacking really harmless if you grew up with it? A new Australian study reveals just how many parents still believe physical punishment is acceptable, even when it involves hitting a child with a wooden spoon or across the face.

Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind smacking, challenge the familiar "I turned out fine" argument and explain why physical punishment doesn't teach children the lessons parents hope it will. More importantly, they share a better way to handle challenging behaviour without hurting your child.

KEY POINTS

• What a new Australian study reveals about attitudes towards smacking.

• Why "I turned out fine" isn't proof that physical punishment is harmless.

• What six decades of research tell us about smacking and children's behaviour.

• The links between physical punishment, aggression and mental health struggles.

• Why smacking may achieve short-term compliance but doesn't create lasting change.

• How to use problem-solving conversations to teach better behaviour.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"Discipline not as an opportunity to hurt our child, but an opportunity to help our child."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• The Fallacy of the 'I Turned Out Fine' Argument The New York Times article by Justin Coulson

• Parenting books, articles and free podcast resources at happyfamilies.com.au.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Notice when you're reaching for punishment out of frustration.

• Wait until everyone is calm before addressing challenging behaviour.

• Talk with your child about what went wrong and how to prevent it happening again.

• Give your child a chance to help create family rules and solutions.

• Focus on teaching the behaviour you want to see, rather than punishing the behaviour you don't.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bedtime shouldn't end in arguments every night. Justin and Kylie share practical ways to help older kids wind down, stick to routines and take more responsibility for getting enough sleep. From screen time and dimming the lights to giving teens more control over bedtime, discover how to make evenings calmer and mornings less stressful.

KEY POINTS

• Use the Three E's approach: Explore, Explain and Empower to work through bedtime struggles together.

• Set consistent evening routines for dinner, showers, homework and getting ready for bed.

• Reduce screen time in bedrooms and use dim lighting or music to help everyone wind down.

• Slow the evening down with family time and a shared tidy-up.

• Give older kids more independence by focusing on getting up on time and managing the consequences of late nights.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“You go to bed when you go to bed. So long as we don't have any problems in the morning, we're all good.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Set aside time this weekend to talk with your kids about what's making bedtime difficult.

2. Agree on a realistic evening routine that everyone understands.

3. Check whether screens are keeping your kids awake or making it harder to wind down.

4. Try dimming the lights and slowing down the pace of the evening.

5. Give older kids more say in their bedtime while setting clear expectations for getting up in the morning.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What keeps a relationship strong when life gets hard? Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack 24 years of Australian household data to explore what makes relationships thrive. From sharing the mental and physical load at home to surviving the stressful years of raising children, discover why relationship satisfaction can dip for decades before reaching its highest point yet.

KEY POINTS

• Why sharing the load at home matters more than you might think

• How money, housework and parenting pressures affect relationship satisfaction

• Why relationships can feel harder during the years of raising children

• What changes as couples move into their 40s and 50s

• How communication, trust and teamwork help couples stay connected

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“When you trust one another, when you believe the other person is going to act in your best interests, and you see that on repeat because they do, that's when people feel high levels of relationship satisfaction.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• HILDA Survey (Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia)

• The Ape That Understood the Universe by Steve Stewart-Williams

• A Billion Years of Sex Differences by Steve Stewart-Williams

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Talk honestly about whether the workload at home feels fair to both of you.

• Ask your partner what has been feeling hard lately and listen without getting defensive.

• Look for small ways to show your partner they can rely on you.

• Remember that you are on the same team, even when you contribute in different ways.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nine in 10 teens who get periods regularly experience pain, and around half report moderate to severe symptoms. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with paediatrician Dr Anthea Rhodes from the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne about why so many girls are missing school, sport and social events because of period pain. They unpack the myths parents need to stop believing, how to recognise when pain needs attention, and practical ways to help teens feel supported. Plus, learn why boys need to understand periods too and how families can make these conversations less awkward.

KEY POINTS:

• Why period pain shouldn’t be something teens simply have to endure

• The signs that pain is interfering with everyday life

• Why boys and dads need to understand periods

• Practical ways to make period products and support accessible

• How to start conversations when teens feel embarrassed asking for help

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Just because something’s common doesn’t mean there aren’t things that you can do to actually make that better.” Dr Anthea Rhodes

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne Teen Health Info and Kids Health Info fact sheets, plus resources from the Pelvic Pain Clinical Network.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Ask your teen how their period affects school, sport and friendships.

• Take pain seriously, especially when it stops them participating in everyday activities.

• Keep period products and suitable pain relief accessible at home and in the car.

• Make conversations about periods normal, not embarrassing.

• Speak with your GP if symptoms are persistent, severe or not improving.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can paracetamol during pregnancy increase the risk of autism or ADHD? Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack four provocative studies challenging what we think we know about pregnancy, relationships, gender differences and rising neurodevelopmental diagnoses. From a major study examining paracetamol use during pregnancy to the possible reasons autism and ADHD diagnoses are increasing, this episode separates research findings from assumptions and explores what the evidence actually tells us.

KEY POINTS

• What a large study found about paracetamol use during pregnancy and autism or ADHD risk.
• Why men and women may appear to multitask differently.
• How pessimism about relationships may affect young women's expectations for happiness.
• Whether broader diagnostic criteria help explain rising autism and ADHD diagnoses.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Science isn't about convenience.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Prenatal Acetaminophen or Paracetamol Use and the Risk of Autism and ADHD Among Sibling-Matched Cohorts, published in JAMA Internal Medicine.
• Research published in Psychological Research on gender differences in multitasking.
• Suzanne Venker's discussion of heteropessimism on the Modern Wisdom podcast with Chris Williamson.
• Institute for Family Studies article on heteropessimism and relationship outcomes.
• Changes in Genetic Contributions to ASD and ADHD by Year of Diagnosis, published in JAMA Psychiatry.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Look at the research behind controversial health claims before accepting or dismissing them.
• Discuss questions about medication during pregnancy with your healthcare professional.
• Focus on finding healthy relationships built on kindness, trust and mutual support.
• Remember that research findings are part of an evolving evidence base, especially when it comes to autism and ADHD.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When school leaves your child overwhelmed, anxious and struggling to learn, is pushing through really the best option? Justin and Kylie Coulson share their experience with homeschooling, the emotional toll of traditional schooling and how to decide what your child needs most. They explore social skills, independence, learning and the importance of helping children feel safe enough to thrive.

Key Points

• How to recognise when traditional schooling isn't working for your child
• Why emotional regulation matters for learning and friendships

• The social opportunities children can find outside traditional school

• The realities of homeschooling for parents, finances and work

• How time at home can help children rebuild confidence and return to school

Quote of the Episode

“How on earth is a child whose emotions are so highly strung in that moment going to learn anything?”

Resources Mentioned

• Happy Families: https://happyfamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents

• Listen to what your child’s behaviour may be telling you about their school experience.

• Look into local homeschooling groups and alternative learning options.

• Consider your child’s emotional wellbeing alongside their academic and social development.

• Build a supportive community where your child can develop friendships, independence and confidence.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if all our talk about mental health is making it harder for kids to cope with life?

Dr Justin Coulson sits down with educational and developmental psychologist Claire Rowe to unpack the rise of therapy speak, the dangers of labelling normal emotions as mental health problems, and why constantly checking in on how our kids feel might not be helping them. Discover how to support children through difficult feelings without teaching them to fear every bump in the road.

Key Points

• How therapy speak on social media is changing the way we see ourselves and others

• Why labelling children as anxious or sensitive can shape their identity

• When mental health labels help and when they go too far

• Why taking action and helping others can be more useful than constantly focusing inward

• How to build resilience without dismissing children's feelings

Quote of the Episode

“You can do hard things.” Claire Rowe

Resources Mentioned

• Claire Rowe Psychologist on Instagram

• Rowe and Associates, Sydney

• Lucy Foulkes, psychologist and researcher

• Sami Timimi, psychiatrist

• Abigail Shrier, author

Action Steps for Parents

• Talk about feelings using everyday words like worried, sad or disappointed rather than turning every emotion into a label.

• Remind your child that difficult feelings are normal and that asking for help is okay.

• Encourage them to take small steps through challenging situations instead of automatically avoiding them.

• Help them connect with others through family, friendships, sport, hobbies and community.

• Let your child know you are there to support them, even when they have a hard day.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What matters most when you walk through your front door? Justin Coulson has spent years helping families build happier lives, and his work has now earned him a University of Queensland Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Award. But the moment that mattered most wasn't the trophy. It was the reminder that strong families change lives, and the most important work we do often happens at home.

Justin and Kylie share the story behind the award, the sacrifices that shaped his career, a hilarious university confession, and the acceptance speech that left a room full of people in tears.

KEY POINTS

• Why strong family relationships shape happier, healthier lives

• The unexpected path from struggling dad to parenting expert

• The people and sacrifices behind Justin's achievement

• What research tells us about the lifelong impact of loving caregivers

• Why the most important work often happens at home

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The most important work many of us will ever do is not in the office. It's waiting for us when we walk back through our own front door.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• University of Queensland Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Awards

• Happy Families books and resources at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Make time for connection with your children, even on busy days.

• Think about the example you're setting through your relationships.

• Recognise the small, everyday things that help your family feel safe, loved and supported.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Worried your teenager is falling behind or has no idea what they want to do after school? You’re not alone, and their future is bigger than their grades.

Dr Justin Coulson chats with educator and careers expert Dr Jo Winchester about career pressure, gap years, alternative pathways and the changing world of work. They explore how to support neurodivergent kids, take the pressure off big decisions and help young people find a path that fits who they are.

KEY POINTS

• Why your child’s ATAR doesn’t define their potential

• When a gap year might be the right choice

• How to explore careers in a rapidly changing world

• Supporting neurodivergent kids without focusing on grades

• Helping teenagers make decisions without passing on your anxiety

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The thing that I want you to concentrate on more is, is your child happy? Are they being supported in a loving environment at that school?”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Dr Jo Winchester for career guidance and free resources

• Range by David Epstein

• Dark Horse by Todd Rose

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Take the pressure off choosing a lifelong career right now.

• Explore university open days by focusing on the environment and teaching staff, not rankings.

• Help your teenager identify their interests, strengths and skills.

• Set small, achievable goals if school is a struggle.

• Remind your child that their grades are not a measure of their intelligence or future success.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your five-year-old is hitting other children when they're angry, frustrated or feel something is unfair. You've talked about using words, encouraged them to burn off energy and tried everything you can think of. So what actually helps?

Justin and Kylie Coulson explain why young children lash out, how to practise emotional regulation at home and what to do when your child comes home after a difficult day at school. Learn how to set boundaries without shame, build better responses and help your child manage big feelings as their brain develops.

KEY POINTS

• Why five-year-olds struggle to control big emotions

• How to practise calming strategies before frustration takes over

• Why difficult conversations work better when everyone is calm

• Helping children find their own solutions to conflict

• Responding with compassion while still addressing hitting

• How classroom culture and maturity can influence behaviour

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“When emotions are hot or high, there's not a lot that soaks in or sinks in.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Happy Families: https://happyfamilies.com.au

• Send your tricky questions to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Practise when things are calm. Rehearse taking deep breaths, walking away or asking an adult for help.

• Problem-solve together. Ask your child what they could do next time they feel angry or treated unfairly.

• Reconnect after school. Offer cuddles, space and understanding before discussing what went wrong.

• Keep the boundary clear. Acknowledge their feelings while making it clear that hitting isn't okay.

• Give them time to learn. Emotional regulation develops gradually, and children need repeated practice and support.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child is anxious, overwhelmed or afraid, should you step in or let them work it out? The answer could change how you parent.

Justin and Kylie Coulson share five research-backed ways to build resilience in children, from listening without rushing to fix things to letting kids tackle challenges, take safe risks and discover what they're capable of. Because raising resilient kids isn't about toughening them up. It's about giving them the support and confidence to face hard things.

KEY POINTS

• Why feeling cared for and listened to is the foundation of resilience

• How staying calm helps children manage big emotions

• When to support your child and when to resist the urge to rescue them

• How family identity and purpose help kids through difficult experiences

• Why independent activity and safe, risky play build confidence

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Resilience is built as much inside a child as it is built around a child.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Happy Families: https://happyfamilies.com.au

• Andrew Fuller, Australian psychologist and resilience researcher

• Steve Biddulph, parenting expert

• Anne Masten, resilience researcher

• Peter Gray, play researcher

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Put your phone down and give your child your full attention when they want to talk.

• Take a slow, audible breath before responding to your child's big emotions.

• Encourage your child to try something difficult before stepping in to rescue them.

• Find small ways for your child to contribute to your family and feel part of something bigger.

• Give your child age-appropriate opportunities to explore, play independently and take safe risks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when you give everything you have and still can’t finish? Justin shares the emotional reality of attempting a 50km charity walk with a 10kg vest, battling an injury and facing the decision to quit.

Justin and Kylie reflect on failure, resilience and the courage it takes to admit when you need help. They also share how their Lift the Load challenge raised almost $95,000 for Top Blokes, helping more young men access vital mentoring and support.

KEY POINTS

• Why admitting you need help can be harder than pushing through.
• The difference between resilience and ignoring your limits.
• How asking for help can change the outcome.
• Why we can support others without carrying everything for them.
• How one person's actions can inspire a whole community.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“It's wonderful when you feel strong and capable that you would offer to carry somebody else's load. But there comes a time where you have to recognise when that load is no longer bearable.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Top Blokes Foundation
• Lift the Load Challenge
• Happy Families

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Show your children that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
• Talk about the difference between giving up and recognising when something needs to change.
• Check in with the people around you. Ask how they're really going and listen to the answer.
• Remind your family that supporting someone doesn't mean carrying every burden for them.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your phone might be getting in the way of your child’s learning, confidence and connection with you.

Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack three research findings every parent should know, from the link between heavy AI use and lower school test scores to why early puberty may increase anxiety risk in girls. They also explore how being ignored while a parent scrolls can affect a teenager’s sense of security in the relationship.

Discover what the research tells us, where the limits of the evidence lie, and how to give your child more opportunities to feel supported, connected and confident.

KEY POINTS

• AI and learning: Students who frequently use AI chatbots for schoolwork scored lower in science and reading than those who rarely use them. How children use AI matters.
• Early puberty and anxiety: Research links earlier, faster puberty in girls with a higher risk of anxiety symptoms. Supportive relationships may help provide important protection.
• Phone distraction and attachment: Teenagers who feel ignored by a parent’s phone use are more likely to report insecure attachment to that caregiver.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“She needs protective factors in her life.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• PISA assessment findings on AI use and student performance, reported by Lucy Carroll in The Australian
• Danish National Birth Cohort analysis on pubertal development and anxiety, published in the Journal of Affective Disorders
• Research examining parental phone use, "phubbing" and adolescent attachment

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Encourage your child to use AI to explore ideas and learn, rather than letting it do their thinking or writing for them.
• If your daughter experiences early puberty, focus on supportive relationships, trusted role models and a safe home environment.
• Put your phone away when your child is trying to connect with you. Give them your attention, listen and show them they matter.
• Remember that research showing a link between two things does not automatically prove that one causes the other.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Behind the parenting advice is a dad, a husband, a son and a grandad who’s still learning as he goes.

For Justin Coulson’s birthday, Kylie takes the microphone and asks the questions we don’t usually hear on the Happy Families podcast. From the grandmother who made him feel like the favourite to the moment he burst into tears at the news he was becoming a grandad, Justin shares the memories, mistakes and moments that shaped him.

He also reveals the question from one father that changed the way he thinks about parenting. It’s a reminder that being a better parent starts with looking at ourselves.

KEY POINTS

• The childhood memories and family relationships that shaped Justin

• The overwhelming joy of becoming a grandfather

• Why his enthusiasm for research is sometimes mistaken for arrogance

• The parenting question he’s never forgotten

• The hard-won lessons behind his books

• What he hopes to achieve in the year ahead

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“How do I be the father that my son needs me to be?”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Happy Families: https://happyfamilies.com.au

• Justin Coulson’s parenting books

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Ask yourself what kind of parent your child needs you to be right now.

• Think about the parenting habits you inherited from your own parents. Which ones do you want to keep, and which ones do you want to change?

• Give yourself permission to keep learning. Even the experts have lessons they learn the hard way.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

School mornings shouldn't end with tears, frustration and everyone feeling like they've failed. Justin and Kylie answer Emma's question about her two daughters and share practical ways to make getting ready for school less stressful.

From preparing the night before to swapping constant instructions for connection, discover how small changes can help your kids feel more capable and get everyone out the door in a better mood.

Key Points

• Prepare uniforms, bags, lunches and everything else the night before.

• Get up early enough to feel calm and ready to help.

• Reduce morning stress by removing unnecessary steps.

• Replace constant instructions with connection and offers of support.

• Create a simple checklist with your kids so they know what's next.

• Make mornings fun with music, games and family routines.

Quote of the Episode

“The more you can do tonight, the less you have to do tomorrow morning.”

Resources Mentioned

• The Parenting Revolution by Justin Coulson

• Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents

• Get school bags, uniforms and shoes ready tonight.

• Make a simple morning checklist with your kids.

• Ask “What's next on your list?” instead of telling them what to do.

• Sit with your kids at breakfast and offer help when they need it.

• Try a morning playlist to make getting ready more fun.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if some of the parenting advice you’ve been given was completely wrong?

Richard Glover has spent years digging through Australian parenting manuals, government advice and expert recommendations from the past 100 years. What he found is funny, disturbing and surprisingly reassuring.

From being told not to cuddle a crying baby to warnings that praise would make children arrogant, Richard reveals how generations of parents were taught to ignore their instincts. He also explains why looking back at parenting history can help us stop chasing every new expert theory and trust ourselves a little more.

KEY POINTS

• Why parents were once told not to cuddle crying babies
• How government parenting advice shaped generations of Australian families
• Why harsh parenting keeps coming back in new forms
• What history can teach us about today's parenting trends
• Why parents can be more forgiving of their own childhood experiences
• The simple things children actually need: love, stability and age-appropriate limits

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Children need stability, a sense of order, a sense of rules, and they need a lot of love.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

How to Ruin a Child by Richard Glover

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Be wary of extreme parenting advice that promises one perfect way to raise children.
• Trust your instincts when something feels wrong.
• Give your children clear, age-appropriate boundaries alongside plenty of love.
• Remember that you don't have to get parenting perfect to raise a perfectly decent human being.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today Justin is taking on a gruelling 50km walk carrying a 10kg vest to raise $50,000 for Top Blokes, a mentoring program helping young men build resilience, develop healthy relationships and learn to ask for help.

After losing his nephew Logan to suicide, this mission is deeply personal.

We need just 600 more people to donate $50 each to reach this target. Can you help lift the load?  Donate here!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parenting gets harder when your kids start needing you less.

Justin and Kylie talk about the messy reality of raising children who eventually leave home, make their own choices and face hard things without you beside them. They share a beautiful reminder that resilience rarely looks neat, why the struggle matters, and why the goal of parenting is to make yourself redundant.

They also talk about Justin’s 50K for 50K Lift the Load challenge, raising money to help Top Blokes support boys with mentors and positive models of masculinity.

KEY POINTS

• Resilient kids don’t always look confident. Sometimes resilience looks messy, uncertain and uncomfortable.
• Your child’s struggle isn’t always something you need to fix. Some struggles are where growth happens.
• Kids spell love T-I-M-E. Time with your children still matters when they become adults.
• The goal of parenting is to make yourself redundant. When children no longer need you, they can choose to come back because they want to.
• Raising boys well means giving them positive models of masculinity, kindness, respect and healthy relationships.
• Sometimes doing something meaningful means stepping well outside your comfort zone.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Make yourself redundant. And the great irony is, if you do it well, because they don’t need you, they come back not because they need you, but because they want to be there.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Lift the Load 50K for 50K

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Resist the urge to rescue your child from every uncomfortable experience.
• Give your kids time, even when they’re older and independent.
• When your child is struggling, ask yourself whether they need rescuing or simply need you beside them.
• Look for opportunities to model kindness, respect and healthy relationships.
• Think about one thing you can do tomorrow that strengthens your relationship with your child.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The more you monitor your kids, the more they might hide.

Research on parental monitoring shows that knowing where your kids are matters far less than creating a relationship where they feel safe telling you what is really going on. Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack what the research says about disclosure, surveillance, rules and trust, and share five practical ways to help your kids keep talking when things go wrong.

KEY POINTS

• Why kids' voluntary disclosure tells parents more than surveillance
• How negative reactions can lead to more secrecy
• Why punishment can shut down honesty
• How to respond when your child tells you something difficult
• Why clear reasons and autonomy-supportive rules build trust
• Why covert snooping can make kids sneakier
• How to stay connected as children become more independent
• The difference between emotion for your child and emotion at your child

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Location apps will show you where they are, but only the relationship that you have will tell you how they are.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Stattin and Kerr's 2003 research on parental monitoring and disclosure
• Weinstein and Schabulski's research on autonomy-supportive parenting

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Take a breath before reacting when your child tells you something difficult.
• Say, “I’m glad you told me,” before jumping into consequences.
• Focus on solving the problem rather than punishing the disclosure.
• Explain why your rules exist and give your child choices where you can.
• Create regular opportunities to talk without turning every conversation into an interrogation.
• Get curious, not furious.
• Don't rely on covert snooping to find out what your child is doing.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Australia made global headlines when it introduced a minimum age of 16 for social media. But months on, more than eight in 10 kids are still using age-restricted platforms.

Justin Coulson sits down with Federal Communications Minister Anika Wells to ask what is happening, why compliance has been so difficult, and what the new Digital Duty of Care could mean for families.

The proposed laws go beyond social media to cover gaming, AI chatbots and other online platforms, with new requirements around harmful content and addictive design features such as endless scrolling and popularity metrics.

KEY POINTS

• Why compliance with the under-16 social media laws has been slower than expected
• Why the responsibility needs to sit with big tech, not exhausted parents
• What the proposed Digital Duty of Care could change
• How AI, gaming, chatbots and other platforms will be covered
• The harmful content and design features the government wants platforms to address
• What age verification means for access to pornography
• Why VPNs and other workarounds make online safety harder
• The early signs that some young Australians are sleeping better, playing more sport and seeing less online bullying

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“This is about introducing some basic safety standards to an industry that hasn’t had any.”
Anika Wells

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Australia’s under-16 social media legislation
• The proposed Digital Duty of Care
• eSafety Commissioner research and long-term studies
• Australia’s online pornography age-verification laws
• happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Talk with your kids about why these laws exist rather than making the conversation only about rules.
• Keep an eye on the platforms, games and AI tools your children are using.
• Pay attention to sleep, mood, sport, friendships and offline activities, not just screen-time minutes.
• Use the law as a support when conversations about online safety become difficult.
• Stay informed as the Digital Duty of Care develops.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your 17-year-old refuses to go to school, skips classes and has no idea what he wants to do instead?

Justin and Kylie tackle a tricky question from a parent whose son is struggling with Year 11. They explore vocational schools, apprenticeships, TAFE, distance education and the idea that education doesn’t have to mean sitting in a classroom until Year 12. The goal is to help young people keep learning, contributing and moving forward without forcing them into a path that clearly isn’t working.

KEY POINTS:

• Why school isn’t the only way to get an education
• Vocational schools and hands-on learning
• School-based apprenticeships and TAFE
• Why “earning or learning” is a useful family expectation
• Helping teenagers build character, reliability and practical skills
• Why a 17-year-old doesn’t need their whole future figured out
• Finding purpose through contribution and solving real problems

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“You need to be either full-time earning or full-time learning.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Justin Coulson
• The Industry School
• School-based apprenticeships
• TAFE and vocational education
• Lift the Load 50 for 50 fundraiser for Top Blokes

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Talk to your child’s school about alternative pathways.
• Look beyond university and traditional Year 12 pathways.
• Explore apprenticeships, TAFE, vocational schools and practical training.
• Help your teenager find something that builds skills and a sense of contribution.
• Take the pressure off having their entire future figured out at 17.
• Focus on reliability, communication, initiative and integrity.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s Mrs Happy Families’ birthday week, so Justin puts Kylie on the spot with questions she hasn’t seen before. There are childhood confessions, a $2 garage sale bargain, a surprising celebrity crush, competitive board games, laundry, parenting wisdom and one deeply meaningful question about how she hopes her six children will remember her.

Kylie also opens up about setting herself a big goal, learning to value the progress rather than just the number, and the moment she realised she could be proud of herself.

It’s funny, honest and unexpectedly moving.

KEY POINTS:

• Why Kylie thinks her daughter Abby is most like her
• The $2 garage sale find that became a handmade baby quilt
• Why laundry is Kylie’s favourite household job
• Kylie’s surprising running anthem
• The competitive streak Justin insists she has
• The parenting moment that made Kylie most proud
• What Kylie hopes her children remember about her

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“I would rather be 10 kilos lighter at the end of the year and not reach my goal of 20 kilos than to be sitting where I was at the beginning of the year without any hope or a desire to make the changes necessary.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Ask yourself what you hope your children will remember about you when they are adults.
• Notice the progress you are making instead of focusing only on whether you have reached the goal.
• Ask your children what they love most about you. Their answers might surprise you.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

More than eight in ten Australian kids were still using age-restricted social media platforms months after the under-16 law came into effect. So is the legislation working?

Justin speaks with Federal Communications Minister Anika Wells about what has happened since the social media minimum age law began, why compliance has been slower than expected, and what the new Digital Duty of Care could mean for families.

The proposed laws go much further than social media. They cover AI chatbots, online games, messaging platforms and other digital services, with new responsibilities for tech companies to identify and reduce risks to children.

They also tackle harmful content, addictive design features, algorithmic feeds and the growing challenge of keeping kids safe from pornography and other dangerous material online.

KEY POINTS

• Why more than 80% of children were still using age-restricted platforms
• Why enforcement against big tech takes time
• What the Digital Duty of Care would change for parents
• How AI chatbots, gaming and messaging platforms could be covered
• The harmful content platforms would have to address
• What "safety by design" could mean for kids
• How algorithmic feeds could change
• The challenges created by VPNs and children accessing pornography
• Why group chats and private sharing are harder for parents to monitor
• What the government says is changing for young Australians

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"We want you to be able to say, this is the law and you can point to the law to try and address these daily fights that people are having in their home."

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Talk with your kids about what they are seeing online, including content shared privately in group chats.
• Check which social media, gaming, messaging and AI platforms your child is using.
• Look at the feed settings on platforms your family uses and understand whether algorithmic recommendations can be changed.
• Keep talking about pornography and harmful online content before your child encounters it.
• Use Australia's changing online safety laws as a starting point for conversations about what is and isn't acceptable online.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if improving your wellbeing was far simpler than you thought?

In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack a huge new scientific review published in Nature that analysed 183 wellbeing studies involving nearly 23,000 people worldwide. The conclusion? You don’t need the perfect routine, expensive programs, or hours of free time to feel better.

You just need to do something.

From exercise and mindfulness to yoga, gratitude, therapy, and simple self-awareness practices, the research shows that consistent small actions have a powerful impact on mental health and happiness. Justin and Kylie also share their own honest experiences of trying to prioritise wellbeing in the middle of busy family life.

If you’ve been waiting for the “right time” to take care of yourself, this episode is your reminder that small steps still count.

KEY POINTS:

• A major Nature study reviewed 183 wellbeing interventions
• Exercise combined with psychological support had the strongest results
• Mindfulness, gratitude, yoga, and compassion practices all improved wellbeing
• Consistency matters more than perfection
• Small actions done regularly can create major emotional shifts
• Parents don’t need hours of free time for self-care to work

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Don’t overthink the perfect wellbeing routine. Just do something.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Nature systematic review and meta-analysis on wellbeing interventions
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Mindfulness and positive psychology practices
• Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Choose one simple wellbeing habit you can realistically repeat this week
• Aim for consistency over intensity
• Pair movement with reflection, mindfulness, or connection
• Notice how you feel when you stop prioritising your wellbeing
• Give yourself permission to start small rather than waiting for perfect conditions

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if protecting our kids too much is actually holding them back?

In this powerful conversation, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with extreme athlete, sports psychologist, and author Ant Williams to unpack why so many kids struggle with pressure, discomfort, and resilience — and what parents can do differently.

From diving beneath Arctic ice to coaching elite athletes under extreme stress, Ant shares the mindset shifts that help people stay calm, capable, and courageous when life gets hard. Together, they explore the parenting habits that unintentionally weaken resilience, the fine line between support and overprotection, and why kids need opportunities to struggle, fail, and recover.

If your child avoids hard things, melts down under pressure, or constantly says “I can’t”, this episode will change the way you respond.

KEY POINTS

• Why resilience is built through challenge — not comfort
• The difference between being a safety net and a shield
• How parents accidentally reinforce anxiety and avoidance
• Why kids need evidence they can handle hard things
• The long-term risks of wrapping children in cotton wool
• How your reactions to stress become your child’s template
• The simple “fish hook” strategy for staying calm under pressure
• Why modelling courage matters more than preaching confidence

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Our reaction becomes their template.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Let It Be Tough by Ant Williams
• Resilience: Developing strength, calm, & kindness in our kids [a Happy Families Webinar]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Resist rescuing your child from every uncomfortable situation
• Encourage small, manageable challenges that build confidence
• Talk openly about your own fears and how you handle them
• Stay calm during stressful moments — your child is learning from your response
• Focus on supporting your child, not shielding them
• Help kids reflect after setbacks instead of immediately fixing things

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You’re worried. They don’t care. And somehow, headphones have become the hill your relationship might die on.

When one mum fears Bluetooth is harming her teen’s brain—and he flatly refuses to listen—this episode unpacks what’s really going on beneath the conflict.

Because this isn’t just about radiation. It’s about teenage psychology, risk, independence… and knowing which battles are worth fighting.

KEY POINTS

• Why “I don’t care, I’ll be fine” is peak teenage brain development
• The surprising truth about Bluetooth and radiation risk
• What actually is harming teens’ hearing (and why it matters more)
• Why logic and research rarely change teen behaviour
• How pushing too hard can quietly damage your relationship
• The mindset shift that instantly reduces conflict with teens
• A simple compromise that teens are far more likely to accept

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“‘I don’t care, I’ll be fine’ is the most accurate summary of a teenage boy’s brain.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• World Health Organization (2023 review on wireless device exposure)
• BMJ Global Health study on youth hearing loss risk

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Let go of battles that don’t have strong evidence behind them
• Focus on connection before correction
• Shift the conversation from “danger” to “practical impact”
• Set boundaries where it matters most—and hold those consistently
• Talk about volume, not just device use
• Offer compromises your teen can realistically agree to
• Protect the relationship, even when you disagree

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child can spend hours on screens without being asked… but getting them to empty the dishwasher feels impossible. So what’s really going on with motivation?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the psychology of motivation and reveal why rewards, punishments, nagging, and bribery often backfire. You’ll learn the “motivation continuum” — the simple framework that explains why some kids resist everything while others willingly pitch in, help out, and take responsibility.

This conversation will completely change the way you think about chores, homework, screens, sibling conflict, and parenting cooperation.

If you’re tired of constantly cracking the whip, this episode offers a better way.

KEY POINTS

• Why rewards and punishments only work short-term
• The hidden downside of paying kids for chores
• The difference between external and internal motivation
• How children move from resistance to ownership
• Why “identified motivation” is the parenting sweet spot
• The powerful role values play in behaviour
• How motivation shifts depending on stress, sleep, and emotions
• Practical ways to help kids genuinely want to contribute

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The question isn’t how motivated your child is. The question is how your child is motivated.”

RESOURCES

• Boys by Dr Justin Coulson
• The “The 3 Es of Effective Discipline” framework 
• Episode #1093 When the 3 E's Don't Work
• Simple Tips for Parents to Boost Motivation in Kids [Article]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Stop relying on rewards as your first strategy
• Talk with your child about why certain behaviours matter
• Help children identify the value behind responsibilities
• Focus on contribution, teamwork, and belonging at home
• Remember that motivation is fluid — tired, stressed kids struggle more

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when your child knows they did the wrong thing but immediately reaches for an excuse?

The Lachie Neale tribunal story gives parents a surprisingly useful way into a bigger conversation about responsibility, consequences and healthy masculinity. Justin and Kylie unpack what happens when kids blame others, deny what happened or expect an exception because the circumstances feel unfair.

They also explore the difference between standing up for someone and getting even, why anger can lead to poor choices, and how parents can support their kids through consequences without rescuing them from the discomfort.

KEY POINTS

• Helping kids move from blame, excuse and denial to ownership, accountability and responsibility
• Why rules need to apply even when someone is talented, popular or important
• The difference between loyalty and retaliation
• Why parents often want to rescue kids from consequences
• How to support your child without taking responsibility for their choices
• What healthy masculinity looks like when things go wrong
• Why the way someone responds after a mistake tells us a lot about them

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“I'm not here to rescue you. I care, but I can't carry you.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• The OAR framework: Ownership, Accountability and Responsibility

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Ask your kids:

1. What would you do if you saw a friend getting shoved?
2. Should the best player get different rules?
3. What's the difference between sticking up for someone and getting even?

When your child makes a mistake, resist the urge to fix the consequence. Help them own what happened, understand the impact and work out what they can do differently next time.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Friendship drama is one of the biggest sources of stress for kids — and heartbreak for parents. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the six powerful habits that create strong, lasting friendships and explain how parents can help children build healthier relationships from the very beginning.

From loyalty and inclusion to emotional support and trust, these simple but profound friendship skills can shape your child’s confidence, wellbeing, and sense of belonging for years to come.

If your child is struggling socially, feeling left out, or constantly caught in friendship ups and downs, this conversation will help you guide them with clarity and compassion.

KEY POINTS:

• The six friendship habits linked to stronger relationships
• Why loyalty matters more than popularity
• How gossip quietly destroys trust
• The difference between emotional support and “fixing”
• Why belonging at school impacts lifelong wellbeing
• How small acts of kindness deepen friendships
• What parents can teach kids about inclusion and empathy

SIX ELEMENTS TO MAKE FRIENDSHIPS FLOURISH:

• Standing up for a friend in their absence
• Sharing important news
• Providing emotional support
• Trusting and confiding in each other
• Volunteering help when required
• Making an effort to make the other person happy

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Kids who understand that friendships require active care are far better equipped to keep them.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Research by Michael Argyle and Monika Henderson on friendship 
• Dr Kelly-Ann Allen’s work on school belonging

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Talk with your child about what loyalty looks like in friendship
• Encourage them to include others and notice who gets left out
• Teach them to pause before sharing hurtful information
• Model emotional support by listening without trying to fix everything
• Help them look for small ways to encourage and serve friends
• Remind them that good friendships need effort, kindness, and consistency

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child’s behaviour problems might start with the way they breathe.

Dentist Dr Jason Leung joins Justin to explain why mouth breathing can affect sleep, concentration, emotional regulation and behaviour, and why some of the signs can look remarkably similar to ADHD.

They unpack the clues parents often miss, including snoring, teeth grinding, waking tired and breathing through an open mouth. Jason also explains why jumping straight to mouth taping, expanders or other devices may not fix the underlying problem, and what parents should check first.

KEY POINTS

• How mouth breathing can interfere with quality sleep
• Why poor sleep can show up as hyperactivity, poor concentration, grumpiness and meltdowns
• The possible connection between sleep-disordered breathing and ADHD-like behaviour
• Signs to watch for, including snoring and teeth grinding
• Why children need to be able to breathe freely through their nose before trying to change their breathing habits
• The role of the tongue, lips and diaphragm in healthy breathing
• Why mouth tape and airway devices aren't always the answer
• When Jason recommends having a child’s breathing and oral function assessed

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“If you don't have good sleep, what happens for a child? They're not concentrating. They're hyperactive. They're waking up tired.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Dr Jason Leung, Oral Myology Perth
• Breath by James Nestor

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Notice how your child breathes when they’re relaxed and asleep.
• Look for regular mouth breathing, snoring or teeth grinding.
• Pay attention to whether they wake tired, grumpy or poorly regulated despite getting enough hours in bed.
• Don’t use mouth tape if your child cannot comfortably breathe through their nose.
• If you’re concerned, seek professional assessment of their airway, breathing and oral function.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child loves reading… but now the books feel too mature. Do you step in, or risk shutting it down altogether?

This episode tackles the tricky middle ground between protecting your child and preserving their love of reading. Discover how to set boundaries without constant battles, why pushing back can backfire, and how to guide your child toward better choices—without losing connection. 

Plus some great book recommendations below!

KEY POINTS:

• Why boundary-pushing is a normal (and necessary) part of growing up
• The tension between encouraging reading and managing content
• The risk of shutting down a child’s love of reading
• How to guide without controlling—and reduce power struggles
• When to hold firm boundaries—and when to soften
• Shifting from protecting kids to preparing them

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Get curious, not furious—because the moment you push, they pull away.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The Keepers Trilogy by Leanne Tanner
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
• Clean romance suggestions for 10-12 and 12-14 year olds (from @thekidsbookshop)
• Two Hearts - Australian middle-grade romance series
• Romance Novels for Tweens - compiled by author A.L.Tait (@yourkidsnextread)
• Top 48 reads for kids aged 9-12 - free download from @bookswithbecandjane

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Protect your child’s love of reading—even when the content worries you
• Have regular, low-pressure conversations about what they’re reading
• Ask more questions instead of shutting things down
• Offer alternatives that align with their interests (not just “better” options)
• Set clear boundaries where it truly matters—and explain why
• Focus on teaching values so they can self-regulate over time

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When life gets overwhelming, even good people become hard to live with.

In this deeply honest episode, Justin and Kylie open up about the pressure, stress, snapping, guilt, and emotional overload that can quietly take over family life — especially when the mental load becomes too heavy to carry well.

From impossible deadlines and overflowing to-do lists to the simple reset strategies that actually help, this conversation is a powerful reminder that productivity means nothing if it costs you your relationships.

If you’ve ever felt short-tempered, emotionally unavailable, constantly “on edge,” or like your family gets the worst version of you… this episode will hit close to home.

KEY POINTS

• Why overwhelm makes us less patient, kind, and emotionally available
• The hidden cost of “pushing through” stress
• How emotional bandwidth affects family relationships
• Simple ways to reset when you’re close to breaking point
• Why movement, sleep, connection, breathing, and nutrition matter more than we think
• The surprising productivity boost that comes from slowing down

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Stop being a human doing and remember how it feels to be a human being.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson
• 4-7-8 breathing technique
• happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Pause for 5–10 minutes before pushing harder
• Go outside, move your body, or reconnect with someone you love
• Prioritise sleep, hydration, and proper meals during stressful seasons
• Notice when your overwhelm is spilling onto your family
• Replace “powering through” with small moments of regulation and connection

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The harder we push, the more our kids can push back.

Fresh from a free-diving trip in the Philippines, Justin shares an unexpected parenting lesson from 20 metres underwater: staying calm can get you further than forcing your way through. Kylie brings it back to the village around our kids and the power of adults who stop, listen and make a child feel like the most important person in the room.

KEY POINTS

• Why force often creates resistance with kids
• What freediving taught Justin about staying calm under pressure
• How regulating ourselves can change a difficult parenting moment
• Why kids need trusted adults beyond their parents
• The impact of giving children your full attention
• How ordinary moments can help rebuild the village around our kids

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Force creates resistance.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Let It Be Tough by Ant Williams
• Happy Families

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• When tension rises, slow yourself down before responding.
• Notice when you’re trying to force an outcome and soften your approach.
• Give your child your full attention when they want to tell you something.
• Think about the good adults in your child’s life and create more opportunities for connection with them.
• Be that trusted adult for another child in your wider family or community.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Location tracking. Checking a partner’s phone. Constantly asking where they are and who they’re with. For some teenagers, controlling behaviour is becoming so normal they may not even recognise it as a red flag.

Justin and Kylie share three simple questions sparked by Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s conversation with her teenage son: Do you know that’s wrong? Do you know that’s a red flag? What do the girls think?

They unpack consent, coercive control, rejection and the messages boys are absorbing about what it means to be a man. Most importantly, they explain why these conversations need to start long before our kids begin dating.

KEY POINTS

• Why jealousy, phone checking and location tracking can be mistaken for love or devotion
• Three questions that help teenagers recognise controlling behaviour
• Why conversations about consent should start when children are young
• Teaching kids to trust the feeling that says, “I don’t like this”
• Helping boys understand that rejection should be met with grace
• How online culture and unhealthy models of masculinity can shape boys’ ideas about relationships
• Why healthy relationships should leave people feeling safer and stronger
• Keeping conversations open so kids come to you when something doesn’t feel right

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Healthy males help the people around them feel safer and stronger.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Boys: Building Strong Men From the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson
• Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s comments about coercive control
• Happy Families school parent presentations

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

Ask the three questions: When relationship behaviour comes up, ask, “Do you know that’s wrong?”, “Do you know that’s a red flag?” and “What does the other person think?”

Start consent conversations early: Teach younger children that they can say no to unwanted affection, scary play or anything that makes them uncomfortable.

Talk about what healthy masculinity looks like: Ask your child when they saw a boy or man help someone feel safer and stronger today.

Talk about the opposite: Ask when they saw someone leave another person feeling smaller or weaker, then discuss what made the behaviour different.

Keep talking: Make relationships, consent, pornography, online influences and red flags normal topics of conversation rather than one big awkward talk

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child’s screen time spiralling—and every conversation about it ends in a fight? Professor Wayne Warburton, leading psychologist and researcher, reveals how apps and games are deliberately engineered to hook young brains. He explains the hidden neuroscience of addiction, what excessive screen use does to a child’s emotional regulation and attention, and how parents can reclaim calm without all-out war. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween melts down when you say “time’s up,” this episode is a must-listen.

KEY POINTS

• Why modern apps use gambling-style tactics and AI to keep kids scrolling.
• How heavy screen use weakens the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that manages focus, planning, and emotional control.
• Simple, science-backed steps to reset family screen habits and return kids to the “driver’s seat.”
• Practical advice for conversations that don’t turn into shouting matches.
• Why social connection doesn’t have to mean social media.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“It’s not your child’s fault—or yours. These products are built to be addictive. The goal is to put your child back in the driver’s seat, not the screen.” — Dr Wayne Warburton

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Dr Wayne Warburton’s books Growing Up Fast and Furious and The Importance of Media Literacy
• HappyFamilies.com.au for family screen-plan templates and parenting resources

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Choose the right moment: Discuss screens only when everyone is calm and offline.
2. Externalise the problem: Frame it as “us versus the tech designers,” not parent versus child.
3. Co-create a plan: Involve kids in setting screen limits and consequences; write it down.
4. Build healthy replacements: Help kids identify offline ways to cope with boredom, anxiety, or stress.
5. Model balance: Show your own healthy screen habits—your example speaks louder than rules.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You’ve chosen the school you believe is best for your child. There’s just one problem. They absolutely refuse to go.

When an 11-year-old is threatening to cut up his uniform and stay home rather than attend the high school his parents have chosen, pushing harder is unlikely to help. Justin and Kylie explain why force creates resistance, what might really be underneath a child’s refusal, and how to have the conversation that could change everything.

KEY POINTS

• Why trying to convince your child you’re right can make them dig in harder
• The three needs driving your child’s response: connection, competence and autonomy
• Why feeling heard needs to come before problem-solving
• How to listen without adding your own interpretation
• Why writing your child’s concerns down can take the heat out of the conversation
• How to explain your reasons once your child knows you understand theirs
• Using trial days and agreed expectations to move forward
• Why the school that looks best on paper may not be the school where your child thrives

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Force creates resistance. The harder you push, the harder your kids push back.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Self-Determination Theory
• Basic Psychological Need Theory
• Autonomy-supportive parenting

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Stop trying to win the argument. Shift the goal from convincing your child to understanding them.
2. Ask what you’re missing. Give them space to explain every concern without correcting or defending.
3. Write it down. Take their concerns seriously enough to make notes, then repeat them back without adding your interpretation.
4. Wait for the “yes, you get it”. If they’re still correcting you, keep listening.
5. Explain your why. Once they feel understood, share the two or three reasons behind your preferred school.
6. Look for a workable next step. Consider an experience day, trial period or clear agreement about what giving the school a genuine chance will look like.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some of the most well-intentioned things we say to our kids can backfire.

From “Good job, you’re so smart” to “You’ll be fine” and “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”, Justin and Kylie unpack five common phrases that can undermine confidence, shut down emotions and create distance between parents and kids.

More importantly, they share what to say instead to help kids feel understood, capable and connected.

KEY POINTS

• Why too much praise can make kids depend on external validation
• The hidden cost of saying “I’m disappointed in you”
• Why “You’ll be fine” can leave a struggling child feeling alone
• How comparing siblings can fuel conflict and self-doubt
• Why saying “I was never good at maths either” can create a limiting mindset
• Simple phrases that build connection without trying to fix everything

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“You need to know that we love you no matter what.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
• Research by Wolf Meyer on praise and children’s perceptions of ability
• Research by Eddie Brummelman on inflated praise
• Research by Avi Assor and Guy Roth on conditional parental regard

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Swap automatic praise for curiosity: “What did you enjoy about that?”
• Replace disappointment with connection: “We love you no matter what. Let’s work through this.”
• Validate hard feelings before offering solutions: “This is really tough, isn’t it?”
• Stop comparing siblings, friends or abilities
• Replace “We’re just not good at that” with “Let’s work it out”

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The best Father’s Day had almost nothing to do with presents.

Justin and Kylie share the unexpectedly beautiful family dinner that turned into stories, tears, terrible dancing and a powerful reminder of what children really take from their dads. As each daughter shared what she loved about Justin, one message kept coming through: the way a father loves his partner can shape what his children expect from love for years to come.

KEY POINTS

• Why gifts and big expectations can make special days fall flat
• The simple dinner-table tradition that changed the whole night
• Why telling family members what you love about them matters
• How old family songs brought childhood memories flooding back
• The relationship lesson Justin and Kylie’s daughters have absorbed from watching their parents
• Why strong family bonds can add to our lives rather than restrict them

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The greatest legacy you as their dad have given them already is the way you love me.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• “Blue Hotel” by Chris Isaak
• “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman
• “We Will Rock You” by Queen

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Tell your partner and children something specific you love about them.
• Bring back a song, ritual or tradition your family has let slip.
• Create time together that isn’t centred around buying things.
• Consider what your children are learning about relationships by watching yours.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

More choice should make us happier. Turns out, it often does the opposite.

Whether it’s choosing a movie, buying a pair of jeans or helping your child pick school subjects, searching for the absolute best option can leave us anxious, regretful and less satisfied with what we eventually choose.

Justin and Kylie unpack the psychology of maximising versus satisficing and what the research reveals about decision-making. They explore why “good enough” can sometimes make us happier, how too many choices affect kids, and how to know when a decision deserves serious thought and when it’s time to stop searching.

KEY POINTS

• The difference between maximisers and satisficers
• Why finding the “best” option doesn’t always make us happier
• How too many choices can increase regret and dissatisfaction
• Why kids often benefit from fewer options
• How to decide what “good enough” looks like before you start searching
• Which decisions deserve more time and which ones don’t
• How parents can model confident decision-making

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“If you can decide what’s going to be good enough before you start the search, then once you find it, you can stop the search.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Herbert Simon’s concept of “satisficing”
• Research by Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz and Jonathan Wells on maximising and decision-making

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Shrink the choice. Give children two or three options instead of an endless list.
• Set the standard first. Decide what “good enough” looks like before searching.
• Say it out loud. Let your kids hear you say, “This works. I’m happy with this choice.”
• Match the effort to the decision. University choices deserve more thought than what to eat for dinner.
• Notice decision avoidance. Ask whether you’re still searching for a better answer or because committing to one feels uncomfortable.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parents have more advice, information and expert guidance than ever before. So why are so many feeling stressed, isolated and burnt out?

More than 10,000 Australian parents took part in the Parenting Today study, revealing a worrying decline in wellbeing, self-compassion and connection. Justin speaks with Derek McCormick, Director of Raising Children Network, about what's putting parents under so much pressure and whether the constant stream of parenting advice is part of the problem.

They unpack information overload, social media, AI, loneliness and the one simple shift that can help when parenting feels like too much.

KEY POINTS

• What more than 10,000 Australian parents revealed about parenting today
• Why having more parenting information hasn't necessarily made parenting easier
• How social media and influencers can leave good parents feeling like they're getting it wrong
• Why trusted information matters, but information alone isn't enough
• The importance of real-world connection and peer support
• Why keeping communication open with your kids matters more than pushing them to talk
• How AI is changing where parents go for advice
• Why self-compassion is a practical tool for overwhelmed parents

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"Do I talk to myself the way I would talk to a good friend?"
Derek McCormick

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Raising Children Network
• Parenting Today study from the Parenting Research Centre
• MyTime peer support groups
• Happy Families
• Burnt Out webinar (included in the Happy Families membership)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Audit where your parenting advice is coming from. Choose sources you genuinely trust.
• Notice which accounts, reels or advice leave you feeling inadequate. Give yourself permission to unfollow.
• Talk to yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a struggling friend.
• Reach out to someone you trust instead of carrying the hard parts of parenting alone.
• Focus on creating a relationship where your child feels safe bringing problems to you.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child is standing in front of a party table loaded with cake, lollies and soft drink. Do you step in or let them go for it?

Justin and Kylie’s answer might surprise you: let the party be the party.

Research suggests that tightly restricting treats can make kids want them even more. Instead of policing every mouthful, this episode explores how parents can help kids build genuine self-control, trust around food and the ability to notice when their body has had enough.

KEY POINTS

• Why restricting treats can make them more desirable
• The problem with policing what kids eat at parties
• Why healthy food habits are built at home, not beside the lolly table
• How trust helps kids develop their own self-control
• Why parents can decide what food is offered while kids decide whether and how much they eat
• How to help kids recognise their body's signals
• Why the best teaching moment may come after the party

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The child who is calm around the lolly table got there by being trusted around food when it wasn't a big deal.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Fisher and Birch research on restricting children's access to palatable foods
• Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment and the 2018 replication study
• Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility in Feeding

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Let parties be parties. One afternoon of cake and lollies isn't going to determine your child's health.
• Build everyday habits at home. Offer nutritious options without turning food into a constant battle.
• Take the drama out of treats. Avoid making sugary food forbidden, precious or unusually exciting.
• Give your child some control. Let them practise deciding how much they want to eat.
• Talk afterwards. If they come home feeling sick or uncomfortable, help them connect how they feel with what they ate rather than lecturing them at the party.
• Teach body awareness. Help them notice hunger, fullness and how different foods make them feel.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you actually know what your child is being taught about gender and identity at school?

Child and adolescent psychologist Clare Rowe says many parents have no idea what is being introduced in classrooms, particularly in the early primary years. She joins Justin to unpack what she believes is a growing gap between what children are being taught and what they are developmentally ready to understand.

They discuss gender identity education, the role of schools versus parents, what Clare is seeing in her psychology practice, and why she believes parents need greater transparency about classroom content.

Most importantly, Clare explains how parents can find out exactly what their school is teaching without starting a fight.

KEY POINTS

• Why Clare believes some gender concepts are being introduced too early
• The difference between teaching inclusion and introducing complex ideas about identity
• Why young children can struggle with abstract concepts
• What Clare is seeing among children presenting with gender distress
• The concern around moving young people quickly towards medical interventions
• Why parents may not know what outside providers are teaching at school
• How to ask your school for lesson plans and curriculum information without becoming confrontational

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Get curious, not furious.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Clare Rowe and Rowe & Associates Child and Family Psychology
• The Rowe Report
• On the Couch with Clare
• Respectful Relationships programs
• Happy Families

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Ask your school what your child is being taught about sex, gender and identity.
2. Request lesson plans, curriculum details and information about any third-party providers.
3. Find out when this content will be taught so you can talk about it at home.
4. Approach the school calmly and ask questions before drawing conclusions.
5. Consider approaching the school with two or three other parents if you feel more comfortable doing it together.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if trying to create the perfect family moment is the very thing getting in the way?

After a week away with three of their daughters, Kylie realised she’d arrived with a clear picture of how their time together should look. The reality was completely different. And it turned out to be better. Justin and Kylie unpack the pressure parents put on themselves to get the “recipe” right, why our kids need room to make their own choices, and how letting go of control can create more connection.

Justin also shares what happened when Kylie left him juggling work and parenting, including one spectacular diary fail, and why simple, low-pressure time together can be some of the best parenting we do.

KEY POINTS

• Why parenting doesn’t come with a guaranteed recipe for happy, successful kids
• How expectations can turn good family experiences into disappointments
• Why giving kids space can lead to more openness and connection
• The power of simple, unstructured time with your child
• Why presence, patience and understanding often matter more than elaborate plans - Justin’s lesson in juggling work and parenting when Kylie went away

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“It’s the simple stuff that makes our families work the best.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

What Your Child Needs From You by Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Notice where you’ve created a “recipe” for how family life should look.
• Leave room for your child to choose how they experience a moment.
• Swap one carefully planned activity for simple time together.
• Focus less on monitoring and more on creating a relationship where your child wants to talk to you.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

AI never gets annoyed with you. It rarely pushes back. And it’s very good at telling you exactly what you want to hear.

New research suggests that this constant validation may come with a cost. After just three weeks of interacting with sycophantic AI, people were more likely to seek personal advice from AI and reported feeling less satisfied with their real-world relationships. Many preferred the agreeable AI because it made them feel understood.

Justin and Kylie unpack what this means for kids growing up with AI as a confidant, adviser and sounding board. Real relationships involve disagreement, compromise and uncomfortable conversations. If AI removes that friction, are our kids missing the chance to learn how to handle it?

KEY POINTS

• Why AI is designed to feel validating, agreeable and supportive
• How constant affirmation can reinforce our existing point of view
• Why people may start preferring AI advice to conversations with family and friends
• The risk of using AI as a therapist during relationship conflict
• Why disagreement and friction are important relationship skills
• How parents can help kids use AI without outsourcing their thinking or relationships

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Sycophantic AI is making our human interactions harder and less satisfying.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Research paper: Sycophantic AI Makes Human Interaction Feel More Effortful and Less Satisfying Over Time

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Explain “sycophancy” to your kids and show them how AI can agree with and validate the person prompting it.
• Encourage kids to question AI responses rather than treating them as neutral advice.
• Be cautious about using AI to decide who is right during friendship or family conflict.
• Help kids practise disagreement, compromise and repair with real people.
• Model curiosity when challenged instead of immediately defending your position.
• Keep talking. A real conversation may be messier than AI, but learning to navigate that mess matters.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gaming can be a source of connection, competence and joy, especially for neurodivergent kids. But when switching off leads to arguments, anxiety or explosive behaviour, parents need more than another screen-time rule.

Justin speaks with Game Aware founder Andrew Kinch about why some kids are drawn so strongly to gaming, how neurodivergence can shape that relationship, and what parents can do when gaming starts crowding out sleep, school, movement and family life. They unpack the difference between gaming for enjoyment and gaming for escape, why timers can make transitions harder, and how understanding your child's favourite game could reduce conflict at home.

KEY POINTS:

• Why gaming and general screen time aren't the same thing
• The particular role gaming can play for neurodivergent kids
• How gaming meets needs for competence, autonomy and connection
• Why using games to escape stress, bullying, anxiety or other struggles can become problematic
• Why countdown timers can increase anxiety around switching off
• How a stopwatch can encourage kids to practise self-regulation
• The value of a calming "buffer" activity after gaming
• Why parents should spend time learning how their child's favourite game actually works
• How understanding what your child gets from gaming can change the conversation at home

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"What job is the game doing for them?"
Andrew Kinch

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Game Aware Activity Finder and family support
• Self-Determination Theory
• Johann Hari's work on addiction and connection

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

• Get curious about what gaming gives your child before focusing on how long they're playing.
• Notice whether they're gaming for fun and connection or using it to escape something difficult.
• Try replacing a countdown timer with a stopwatch that helps them monitor their own gaming time.
• Plan something enjoyable or calming for immediately after gaming rather than expecting an abrupt switch into chores or family demands.
• Sit beside your child and learn their game. Understand what they're trying to achieve, when a round ends and why stopping halfway through can feel so frustrating.
• If gaming is seriously affecting sleep, school, relationships, physical activity or safety at home, seek specialised support.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your 12-year-old announces they’re dating someone. There’s hand-holding, constant texting and plenty of “love you” messages. Do you shut it down, set rules or stay out of it?

Justin and Kylie unpack early teenage romance and why keeping your child talking to you matters more than trying to monitor every interaction. They explain what “dating” often means at this age, how to protect friendships and school life, and how to set boundaries without pushing the relationship underground.

KEY POINTS

• Romantic interest commonly ramps up around ages 11 to 12.
• Before reacting, ask your child what “dating” actually means to them.
• Open disclosure from your child is more valuable than trying to monitor everything they do.
• Watch whether the relationship starts replacing friendships, activities or school responsibilities.
• Trying to ban the relationship completely may simply push it underground.
• Talk about what respectful relationships look like, including helping the other person feel safe and strong.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“As long as you can have an open dialogue, then you have influence.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Developmental psychology research on early adolescent romantic relationships
• Research by Stattin and Kerr on parental monitoring and child disclosure
• Happy Families website and podcast question submission

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Get curious first. Ask what “dating” means to your child before deciding how worried you need to be.
2. Keep them talking. Protect the relationship that makes your child comfortable telling you what’s happening.
3. Set clear expectations. Explain your family’s boundaries around dating without turning the conversation into command and control.
4. Watch the bigger picture. Notice changes in friendships, schoolwork, extracurricular activities and family life.
5. Talk about respect. Teach your child what it means to make another person feel safe, respected and valued.
6. Try side-by-side conversations. A walk, drive or other low-pressure moment can make sensitive conversations easier.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We put laptops and tablets into classrooms with a promise that technology would improve education. Nearly two decades later, parents and teachers are asking a confronting question: Did we get it wrong?

Justin speaks with Danny Alachi, founder of the Heads Up Alliance, and Victorian high school teacher Steph Challis about the push to reduce screen use in Australian schools. They unpack classroom distraction, declining literacy, the value of handwriting and physical books, and why teaching digital skills doesn’t require kids to spend every lesson behind a screen.

They also explain a new national petition calling for no one-to-one devices in primary schools, books and paper to become the default in high school, a pause on generative AI in classrooms, safer evidence-based educational apps, and a renewed focus on reading and handwriting.

KEY POINTS

• Why one-to-one devices may be doing more harm than good in primary classrooms
• The distraction problem teachers are seeing when laptops are open
• Why books, handwriting and paper still matter for learning
• The difference between teaching digital literacy and teaching through a screen
• Why technology should have to prove it improves learning before schools adopt it
• The five changes the Heads Up Alliance wants Australian schools to make

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Schools need to remember what they're for. They're there to teach children how to learn.”

Steph Challis

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Heads Up Alliance
• Sign the petition

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Look at how devices are being used in your child’s classroom, not simply whether they are being used.
• Ask your school when screens genuinely improve learning and when books, paper and handwriting could work better.
• Read the petition and sign it if you support the proposed changes.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.