Do You Feel That? is a couples intimacy and sex podcast about love, connection, desire, and building a stronger relationship in and out of the bedroom.
Hosted by Scott and Brittney, a married couple exploring modern intimacy, each episode blends honest conversations, personal stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication, deepen emotional connection, and create better sex in long-term relationships.
We talk about:
• Marriage and intimacy
• Sexual communication
• Desire differences
• Erotic exploration
• Guided audio intimacy
• Confidence in the bedroom
• Reigniting passion after kids
• Sex toys, play, and connection
• Building emotional safety
• Strengthening relationships through intentional intimacy
Whether you’re navigating mismatched desire, looking to improve your sex life, or simply wanting to feel closer to your partner, Do You Feel That? offers grounded, real-world conversations to help couples grow together.
New episodes every week.
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Awakening Desire: A Conversation with Sexologist Paula Giroday
Episode 53
Tuesday, October 27, 2026 • Duration 01:04:11
Coelle has a new series. And rather than announce it with a press release, Scott and Brittney wanted to introduce it through the conversation that matters most.
In Episode 53, they sit down with Paula Giroday — certified sexologist, Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, and the co-creator of Awakening Desire, a brand new series of guided audio experiences now available in the Coelle app. Paula brings something rare to this conversation: Scott has been working with her as his personal somatic sex coach for the past five months. This isn’t a feature interview. It’s a genuine conversation between people who have done real work together.
Paula explains what somatic sex coaching actually is — why desire and confidence aren’t things you perform, they’re states you cultivate in the body — and what changes when people start working at that level. Scott shares what five months of that work has actually done for how he shows up in intimacy. Brittney shares what she’s witnessed from the outside.
Then they walk through the four sessions of Awakening Desire: Own It, a sexual confidence breathwork session for men. Open, a confidence and sensation session for women. Speak It, a desires meditation for naming and voicing what you actually want. And Between Us, a partnered breath circuit that helps couples build and share erotic energy together.
This is the episode that shows rather than tells what Coelle is about.
In this episode:
What somatic sex coaching actually is — and how it’s different from talk therapy or traditional intimacy coaching
Why desire and confidence live in the body, not the head — and what changes when you work there
Paula’s background in theatre and how it shapes her approach to intimacy and embodiment
Scott’s five months of personal coaching work — what he walked into, what surprised him, what changed
Brittney’s perspective on what she’s witnessed in Scott over that time
The four Awakening Desire sessions — what each one is, who it’s for, and what it feels like
The Between Us partnered breath circuit — what it does to the dynamic between two people
Guest: Paula Giroday, Certified Sexologist and Somatic Sex Coach — sensualheartwellness.com
Awakening Desire is available now in the Coelle app — included with every subscription.
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it’s guided.
How to Make Your Partner Crave You — The Psychology of Sustained Desire
Episode 52
Tuesday, October 20, 2026 • Duration 01:04:24
Every long-term couple eventually faces the same quiet question: where did the craving go? Not the love — the specific, embodied wanting of this particular person. The research has answers. And they’re not what most people expect.
In Episode 52, Scott and Brittney dig into the psychology of sustained desire — what actually makes a partner keep craving you years and decades into a relationship, and why the conventional wisdom about this is almost entirely wrong.
Drawing on a systematic review of decades of desire research, Scott and Brittney walk through seven specific, practical things that sustain and rebuild erotic charge between partners from maintaining your own distinct identity and creating deliberate anticipation, to expressing desire explicitly and understanding why too much closeness can paradoxically dampen the very desire you’re trying to sustain.
The paradox at the center of it all: desire needs space to breathe. The most desirable partner in a long-term relationship is not the one who is most available. It’s the one who remains genuinely interesting — distinct, alive, engaged with their own life — and who keeps choosing their partner with enough specificity that the choice stays visible.
In this episode:
The paradox of intimacy and desire — why high but stable closeness doesn’t increase desire, and what actually does
Remaining distinct — why the partner who keeps their own identity is more compelling than one who dissolves into the relationship
Being seen doing something compelling — the research on novelty, dopamine, and seeing your partner fresh
Creating anticipation deliberately — why the most powerful arousal tool in long-term relationships is almost entirely unused
Emotional attunement — how gradually slipping out of genuine interest in your partner’s inner world shows up as reduced desire
Confidence in and out of the bedroom — what it actually looks and feels like as a driver of sustained attraction
Introducing genuine novelty within the relationship — the dopamine response and why every new shared experience refreshes attraction
Expressing desire explicitly — why assuming your partner feels wanted isn’t the same as making them feel wanted
What He Actually Wants in Bed
Episode 51
Tuesday, October 13, 2026 • Duration 01:05:36
Last week Brittney told Scott and every man listening what women actually want in bed. This week the tables turn.
In Episode 51, Scott tells Brittney and every woman listening what men actually want in bed. Not the cultural mythology. Not the locker room script. What the research consistently identifies across thousands of men and what Scott personally confirms.
The findings will surprise most women. Emotional connection is the most common reason men give for wanting partnered sex — slightly higher than women. Women dramatically underestimate how emotionally meaningful sex is for their male partner. The gap between what men actually want and what their partners assume they want is one of the most costly misunderstandings in long-term relationships.
Scott walks through seven things: feeling genuinely desired, her authentic pleasure, emotional presence, the freedom to share fantasies without judgment, more foreplay than she thinks he wants, tenderness alongside intensity, and knowing specifically what she wants. Brittney responds honestly throughout — confirming, pushing back, and acknowledging what today’s conversation changes for her.
Plus three things men want that nobody talks about and a direct word for the men listening about naming what they actually need rather than performing the version of male desire culture made acceptable.
In this episode:
The biggest misconception about male desire and why it costs couples real intimacy
Why women dramatically underestimate how emotionally meaningful sex is for their male partner
Her authentic pleasure vs. a performance of it — why faking deprives him of something real
Emotional presence vs. physical availability
The fantasy conversation — why men want it and why it rarely happens
The foreplay finding most women don’t know: men want significantly more than they’re getting
Knowing what she wants specifically and why her Sexual Self-Portrait from Episode 45 is the most practical gift she can give him
Three undertalked things: genuine mutual desire, safe vulnerability, and novelty within the relationship
What She Actually Wants in Bed
Episode 50
Tuesday, October 6, 2026 • Duration 01:03:10
In this episode, Brittney tells Scott and by extension every man listening — what women actually want in bed. Not what culture says. Not what porn shows. What the research consistently identifies across tens of thousands of women, delivered in Brittney's honest voice and confirmed by her personal experience.
Seven things. Each one specific, practical, and backed by research. From feeling genuinely desired rather than just available, to the time women actually need, whole-body attention, clitoral stimulation done right, emotional safety as a prerequisite rather than a bonus, the culture of asking and actually listening, and the aftercare most men skip entirely.
Scott responds honestly throughout — what he got wrong, what changed, what he still works on. And the episode closes with a direct word for the women listening about their own role in getting what they want.
In this episode:
Why most men don't know what women want and why that's fixable
Feeling genuinely desired vs. just available — the research on object-of-desire affirmation
Why women need 15-20 minutes of foreplay and how to actually give it
Whole-body attention — why three zones misses everything
Clitoral stimulation done right — rhythm, pressure, and consistency
Emotional safety as a prerequisite — what creates it and what erodes it
Asking and listening — why receiving feedback without defensiveness is the most important skill
Aftercare — the research on post-sex connection and the 48-hour afterglow
A direct word for women: you are allowed to want what you want
Scott's honest reflection on what he's gotten wrong and what changed
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
How to Have Sex for Hours
Episode 49
Tuesday, September 29, 2026 • Duration 01:01:30
Scott has completed Ironman triathlons. He has a Master's degree in Performance Psychology. He's spent years coaching hockey players to stop focusing on outcomes and stay locked into process and plan.
And he thinks most couples approach sex exactly the way a beginner approaches their first race: get to the finish line as efficiently as possible.
In Episode 49, Scott and Brittney take on the finish-line problem in couples' intimacy — the unconscious structure where everything builds toward the man's orgasm, which signals the end of the encounter, and both partners spend the entire experience subtly managing toward that destination rather than inhabiting what's actually happening.
What's lost in that structure is enormous. Because great sex has no milestones, no checkpoints, and no predetermined destination. It is an erotic experience that expands and grows as the situation demands — going somewhere neither partner fully anticipated when it began, because both were present enough to follow where it was actually going.
This episode is about how to build that capacity. The process focus that Performance Psychology identifies as the difference between peak performers and average ones. The endurance mindset that allows you to be completely in this mile rather than running toward a finish line you can't see yet. And the specific practices that make extended, expanded intimate experience possible — not as a sequence to execute, but as a way of showing up.
In this episode:
The finish-line problem — how outcome focus limits intimate experience for both partners
Scott's Ironman and Performance Psychology background — and why the same principles that separate peak athletes from average ones apply directly to the bedroom
Process focus vs. outcome focus — what each actually feels like, and what changes when you make the shift
Why great sex has no milestones — and what becomes available when you remove the finish line
The practices that support extended intimacy: breathwork, eye gazing, sensory presence, edging as a way of being, and communication as expression rather than evaluation
The jazz principle — why the best encounters go somewhere neither partner planned
7 Things Worth Trying In Your Bedroom Tonight
Episode 48
Tuesday, September 22, 2026 • Duration 52:28
No frameworks. No deep emotional excavation. Just seven things genuinely worth adding to your intimate life — and one shameless plug at the end.
In Episode 48, Scott and Brittney each own specific items on a curated list of physical, sensory, and psychological additions to the bedroom that most couples have never tried and at least one that's going to make you wonder why nobody told you about it sooner.
The back of the knee — the erogenous zone almost nobody knows about. The Coital Alignment Technique — a modified missionary position with an 82.5% female orgasm rate in research studies that almost no one does intentionally. The scalp — one of the most nerve-rich surfaces on the body, almost universally neglected. The Somatica Institute's three-part breathwork practice — Scott's personal practice for activating erotic aliveness on demand. Temperature play with ice and heat. Eye gazing — the most vulnerable thing you can do without touching. And a vibrating cock ring — the most practical orgasm gap solution available.
Plus the bonus: guided audio intimacy with Coelle and why it's the most useful thing on the entire list for couples who want to go deeper than any single technique or product can take them.
In this episode:
The back of the knee — why unexpected touch to this spot creates immediate, complete presence
The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) — the research-backed position producing 82.5% female orgasm rates that almost nobody does on purpose
The scalp — the most overlooked erogenous zone on the body and how to use it
The Somatica Institute three-part breathwork — what it is, what Scott's daily practice has produced, and how to start
Temperature play — why contrast matters more than temperature alone and the simplest way to start tonight
Eye gazing — why sustained mutual gaze before intimacy changes the quality of everything that follows
The vibrating cock ring — specifically the Tenga SVR, why it works, and the conversation to have first
Bonus: Coelle guided audio intimacy — what it does that music, podcasts, and techniques alone can't
The Fantasy You've Never Told Your Partner — And What It's Actually Trying to Say
Episode 47
Tuesday, September 15, 2026 • Duration 44:44
Your fantasies are not random. They are not guilty secrets. They are not confessions.
They are coded language — your mind's most creative attempt to give you access to the emotional experiences you've been reaching for your whole life.
In Episode 47, Scott and Brittney draw on the work of Esther Perel — psychotherapist, bestselling author, and one of the most original voices on desire alive — specifically her conversation with Gillian Anderson on the secret logic of the erotic mind. The insight at the center of it all: a good fantasy states the problem and offers the solution. The scenario is the symbol. The feeling underneath it is the truth.
Scott also shares something deeply personal in this episode — the connection between his Core Desire of Being Seen, a childhood marked by a father who never attended a single hockey game, family favoritism, and the erotic life that grew directly out of that history. It's the most honest illustration of Perel's framework available: tell me how you were loved, and I will know a lot about how you make love.
This episode covers where fantasies actually come from, how to translate your own fantasy into the deeper language underneath it, why sharing a fantasy with your partner is not the same as requesting it, and what becomes possible in a relationship when both partners are willing to hand each other the map.
In this episode:
Esther Perel's foundational insight: sexuality as coded language for our deepest emotional needs
Why she tells her students not to ask what people do but what they think about while doing it, and why
A good fantasy states the problem and offers the solution — what that means specifically
Where fantasies come from — history, culture, and the buffet of experience
Why most fantasies are discovered rather than invented and why people can learn to fantasize
The translation practice: how to read your own fantasy for the emotional need underneath
Scott's personal story: how his Core Desire of Being Seen traces to his father never attending a hockey game and what that reveals about the intimate life that grew from it
Watch Me — The Most Intimate Thing Most Couples Have Never Tried
Episode 46
Tuesday, September 8, 2026 • Duration 55:33
Scott wants to try mutual masturbation. Brittney is hesitant. Neither of them has done it yet and rather than pretend otherwise, they decided to make that honesty the episode.
In Episode 46, Scott and Brittney tackle one of the most commonly cited intimate experiences couples are curious about and one of the least acted upon. Scott represents the eager partner — genuinely excited by what the research says this experience offers, and honest about why he wants it. Brittney represents the hesitant partner — intellectually interested in the science, personally uncertain about the specific vulnerability it requires, and honest about what she'd need before it felt right.
Together they cover what mutual masturbation actually is, what watching your partner pleasure themselves teaches you that nothing else does, why the vulnerability is both the most uncomfortable and most intimate part, and the specific dynamic between an eager partner and a hesitant one — what both sides need to hear, and what both sides tend to get wrong.
For couples who are both ready: a complete practical framework for doing it for the first time. For couples who aren't aligned yet: language for the conversation that actually moves things forward.
In this episode:
What mutual masturbation actually is and what it offers that partnered sex doesn't automatically provide
Why it's on so many couples' lists and why it stays there
What watching your partner pleasure themselves teaches you that nothing else does
The vulnerability component — why being witnessed is both the most uncomfortable and most intimate part
Scott's honest take: why the research has him genuinely excited
Brittney's honest take: the specific self-consciousness and what she'd need before this felt right
The eager partner vs. hesitant partner dynamic — what both sides get wrong and what actually helps
What the hesitant partner's "not yet" actually means and why it's not a no
Five steps from curious to actually doing it — for couples who are both ready
What to do if you're not aligned yet and why that's the most common starting place
What Turns You On — And Why Your Partner Has No Idea
Episode 45
Tuesday, September 1, 2026 • Duration 01:19:13
Most couples have been together for years and their partner still doesn't know exactly what turns them on. Not because they don't care. Because nobody ever gave either of them the language for it.
In Episode 45, Scott and Brittney introduce the Sexual Self-Portrait — a User Manual for how you're actually wired. They each walk through their own completed portrait live, across nine essential sections: Core Desire, Dimension of Sex, Erotic Blueprint, Emotional Wiring, Arousal Arc, favorite position, ideal music and atmosphere, what lands and what doesn't, and how to meet them well.
Scott shares his complete portrait — what he needs, how he arrives, what reliably works and what pulls him out, and what his Enneagram 4 with a 3 wing reveals about how his personality shapes his intimacy. Brittney shares hers — including Scott's working read of her from the outside, and what she'd correct or add in her own words.
They also share why building these documents has been one of the most genuinely useful things they've done for their intimate life and give listeners everything they need to build their own, including a free downloadable template.
This is the most personal episode of the series. Because the more clearly you know yourself, the more fully you can be met.
In this episode:
Why most partners have no idea what actually turns their person on and why that's nobody's fault
The nine sections of the Sexual Self-Portrait and what each one reveals
Scott and Brittney's complete portraits — Core Desires, Dimensions, Enneagram scores, Arousal Arcs, and more
Why this has been a game changer for Scott and Brittney personally
The two versions worth building — your own and a working read of your partner
How to share it without it feeling like a performance review or a complaint
The Intimacy Playlist — Music, Mood, and What's Actually Playing in Our Bedroom
Episode 44
Tuesday, August 25, 2026 • Duration 53:27
What's actually playing in the bedroom? Today Scott and Brittney answer that completely.
In Episode 44, they share the full evolution of their intimacy music journey: from the early classics like Norah Jones, John Legend, Lana Del Rey, and 90s R&B, all the way to the four highly specific playlists they use today — each one designed for a different mood, a different kind of encounter, and a different dimension of intimacy.
The Chill Covers playlist for warm, unhurried connection. The Erotic Playlist featuring Sabrina Claudio, James Blake, Massive Attack, and BANKS for dark and intentional intensity. The Sensual Playlist with Craig Pruess, Porangui, and Gwairoch for sacred, embodied presence. And the R&B Playlist featuring Isiah Falls, Bryson Tiller, Trey Songz, and The Weeknd for confident, charged energy.
Plus: the practical guide to building your own intimacy playlist tonight — the most important variables, why tempo matters more than genre, and the one mistake most couples make with music and intimacy.
In this episode:
Why music affects mood and arousal neurochemically and why the wrong song is a genuine intimacy killer
The evolution from Norah Jones and Boyz II Men to four highly specific playlists
The Chill Covers playlist — what it is, when to use it, and why covers work differently than originals
The Erotic Playlist — "Frozen," "The Wilhelm Scream," "Teardrop," "Brain" and what makes each one work
The Sensual Playlist — "Devi Prayer," "Stardust," "Ancestral Prayer" and the sacred dimension of intimate music
The R&B Playlist — Isiah Falls, Bryson Tiller, Trey Songz, The Weeknd and the mood each one creates
How to build your own intimacy playlist — tempo, lyrics, length, and the shuffle question
Scott & Brittney's most reliable mood-setting tracks and the songs that have become personal favorites
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
The Perel paradox — why desire needs someone to reach toward, and what happens when partners become too merged
The one question worth asking your partner tonight
📚 Referenced:Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it’s guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Scott’s honest personal reflection — what he’s wanted most and found hardest to ask for
Brittney’s honest response — what changes for her after hearing this
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it’s guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Orgasm as one possible experience — not the destination
Mantak Chia and the Taoist frame: what non-ejaculatory extended experience makes available
Where to actually start — and why the orientation shift matters more than the duration
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Perel's line that ties it all together: "Tell me how you were loved, and I"ll tell you how you make love."
Why sharing a fantasy is not the same as requesting one and why the distinction matters enormously
How to share a fantasy with your partner — practically, vulnerably, without pressure
Fantasies as creative acts that can heal, repair, and transform
The connection between your fantasy life and your Sexual Self-Portrait from Episode 45
Referenced:
Want by Gillian Anderson
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Esther Perel's podcast: Where Should We Begin?
Esther Perel & Gillian Anderson — "Say More: Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson"
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.
Couples Intimacy Resources
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?
Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.
For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.
