Explore every episode of the podcast Divorced and Disillusioned

In this episode, I talk about what happens when faith starts to feel more like performance than something real and the quiet shift that comes with noticing it.

I also read a Hold This letter from someone who shares moments that changed them.

“People say they didn’t see it coming.

But most of the time, it was there all along.

This episode is about the quiet build-up, the missed signals, and what happens when you’re not really being heard.”

There are moments where everything feels okay and then something in me pulls me out of it. In this episode, I talk about why happiness doesn’t always feel safe, how I interrupt my own good moments, and where that pattern might have started.

Some of the hardest moments in life don’t feel like growth, they feel like failure, loss, and wondering if you could have done more. In this episode, I reflect on those darker chapters, the questions that linger, and how those experiences quietly shape who we become.

Because letting go doesn’t end when the relationship ends

What happens when the patterns in your life start repeating? In this episode, I explore the instinct to run from painful parts of our past, the coping mechanisms we build to survive, and why understanding where we came from is sometimes the only way to move forward.

In this episode, I talk about the difficult realization that someone can care about you and still not be the partner you need. When a relationship isn’t cruel or explosive, it can be hard to admit that something still isn’t right. This episode explores the pattern of staying in dynamics that are “good enough,” the small moments that reveal deeper incompatibility, and the clarity that eventually comes when you stop negotiating with reality.

This episode explores the loneliness of being unseen in a marriage, the desperate ways I tried to feel wanted, and the consequences of operating from emotional hunger. It’s about accountability without self-destruction and what it means to grow without turning yourself into the villain.

You don’t need a villain to justify your boundaries.

You just need clarity.

I share how faith slowly shifted from being a source of comfort to becoming an inner critic, and how losing certainty didn’t just mean questioning God, it meant grieving the identity I had built around shame, fear, and trying to be good enough.

This episode explores the season when prayer stopped bringing comfort to me not because I stopped trying, but because I was praying harder than ever and felt nothing change. I talk about moving from gratitude to desperation, the emotional fog of that time, and the grief of losing a spiritual lifeline. If you’ve ever prayed and felt silence instead of peace, you’re not alone.

I explore how religious messaging and past experiences shaped my nervous system in ways I didn’t understand at the time. When you’ve been taught that relationships are fragile, conditional, or spiritually “doomed,” fear can start to feel like wisdom — and anxiety can masquerade as intuition.

In this episode, I talk about what I thought love was when I was young, deeply religious, and trying to be a “good” partner and how that shaped the red flags I didn’t recognize at the time.

In this episode, I talk more about something I mentioned last time ; getting married as a teenager. I share what I was thinking back then, what I didn’t understand yet, and how that experience shaped who I am now. It’s a mix of hindsight, hard truths, and the lessons that only time can teach.

In the first episode of Divorced & Disillusioned, I share the story of getting married young inside the church, the abuse I didn’t yet have language for, and how my second divorce led to a deeper unraveling of my faith. This isn’t about rebellion — it’s about praying for relief in the darkest moments and being met with silence. If you’re navigating divorce, faith shifts, or rebuilding your identity from scratch, you’re not alone!