Explore every episode of the podcast Divorce Coaches Academy

Conflict Resolution Week usually spotlights processes: mediation, negotiation, collaborative practice. But every process depends on the people in it. In this episode, Tracy Callahan, MA, ADRDC, founder of Divorce Coaches Academy®, celebrates the professionals who work with the individual inside the dispute: divorce coaches.

In this episode:

• Why divorce coaching is conflict resolution work, not “just emotional support”
• How coaches help clients recognize, regulate, and engage conflict
• Why coaching strengthens the work of attorneys and mediators
• Four signals that it’s time to refer a client to a divorce coach, and when coaching isn’t the right fit
• Stop, Drop, and Roll: a simple approach for interrupting conflict patterns in divorce and co-parenting
• A thank-you to the divorce coaches doing work no court record ever shows

Cases close. The skills stay.

Learn more about the ADR Divorce Coach (ADRDC) certification at Divorce Coaches Academy

Find an ADR trained Divorce Coach for you or your clients

A disagreement about pickup times, schedule changes, or activities can become a position a parent defends for years. What can divorce coaches do earlier to help parents navigate those moments more thoughtfully?

In this episode, Tracy Callahan draws on her work in divorce coaching and parenting coordination to explore how unresolved concerns become entrenched positions—and how coaches can help clients examine what those positions protect, what they cost, and whether they still serve the parent and child.

Through practical examples and coaching questions, Tracy discusses how to help parents distinguish facts from interpretations, evaluate requests, practice clearer communication, and maintain effective boundaries. She also explores how to keep children’s needs visible without making them responsible for adult disagreements.

This is central to the work of ADR divorce coaching: supporting clients in navigating current conflict while preparing them for the difficult conversations and decisions ahead. By helping clients understand their concerns, examine their assumptions, and practice useful skills, coaches support more thoughtful participation in the divorce process and the parenting relationship that continues afterward.

Continue the learning

Our new six-week live course, Coaching Parents Through Conflict: Reducing Escalation, Strengthening Parenting Plans, and Keeping Children at the Center, brings this work into practice through case examples, discussion, and applied exercises. Designed for divorce coaches and related family dispute resolution professionals, the course explores escalation patterns, parenting triggers, entrenched positions, communication, boundaries, and parenting-plan details that can become recurring sources of conflict.

Classes meet live online on Mondays, November 9–December 14, 2026, from 1:00–2:30 p.m. Eastern, for nine instructional hours. This is professional development and does not confer certification or an additional credential.

Register before October 26 and use code GROW to receive $100 off.

Visit DivorceCoachesAcademy.com to learn more about the course and our work preparing divorce coaches to support clients in navigating conflict with greater clarity, skill, and purpose.

Knowing you need to handle conflict differently doesn’t always mean knowing how.

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® podcast, Tracy Callahan explores how divorce coaches help clients develop practical skills for navigating conflict, from pausing before responding and examining assumptions to making clear requests and evaluating difficult decisions.

Through relatable examples and thoughtful coaching questions, Tracy examines how professionals can help clients apply these skills when emotions run high, decisions need to be made, and participate more deliberately in the divorce process.

At Divorce Coaches Academy® (DCA®), skill development is central to our approach to professional divorce coaching grounded in dispute resolution. This episode brings that approach into practice, with insights for divorce coaches and ADR professionals who want to help clients build capacity they can carry into their next challenging interaction.

Learn more about DCA® and our professional training programs at https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

What does it really take to build a divorce coaching practice, before the referrals are consistent, the calendar is full, or the results fully reflect the effort?

In this episode, Tracy Callahan speaks with DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach Karen Yurack, founder of White Oak Divorce Coaching. Karen launched her North Carolina-based practice after more than 19 years as a family law paralegal, bringing together decades of professional experience, her personal understanding of divorce and blended-family life, and a commitment to providing the support she often saw missing from the legal process.

Karen shares an honest, behind-the-scenes look at building a practice from the ground up: networking, creating meaningful professional relationships, becoming visible, explaining the value of divorce coaching, moving beyond her comfort zone, and continuing through the quieter periods when effort and results do not yet match.

The conversation was inspired, in part, by Dr. Vivienne Ming’s idea of being a “fanatic”—someone so deeply connected to the purpose of their work that they continue pursuing it because the work itself matters. Tracy was introduced to this idea through Conversations That Contribute, organized by DCA® mentor Carolyn Jacobs in support of Kids in Conflict.

Together, Tracy and Karen explore what sustains a new entrepreneur, how to recognize progress beyond immediate revenue, and why building a successful practice requires persistence, adaptability, professional community, and a strong connection to the reason the work matters.

This episode offers realistic expectations and meaningful encouragement for newly certified divorce coaches, established professionals growing their practices, and anyone considering the leap into entrepreneurship.

Connect with Karen Yurack and White Oak Divorce Coaching:

Website: https://whiteoakdivorcecoaching.com
Email: whiteoakcoaching@gmail.com

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about Conversations that Contribute: https://www.keepslowing.com/events

“You have to love your children more than you hate your ex.” It’s a familiar phrase, but what does it offer a parent who believes the fight with their co-parent is for their child?

In this solo episode, Tracy Callahan explores how blame can become a lens through which every missed message, changed plan, or difficult exchange seems to confirm the worst about the other parent. For divorce coaches and ADR professionals, the challenge is to interrupt that cycle without dismissing a client’s history, minimizing a genuine concern, or asking them to give up an appropriate legal remedy.

Through practical examples, Tracy discusses how to help clients separate facts from assumptions, identify the decision in front of them, and respond with their child’s needs in view. The goal is not forgiveness or forced cooperation. It is helping a parent make the next decision with more than anger in the room.

To learn more about the work of divorce coaching and how Divorce Coaches Academy® prepares professionals to support clients through conflict, visit divorcecoachesacademy.com

Should parents stay together for the kids, or are we asking the wrong question?

In this episode, Tracy Callahan explores what children need when a marriage is struggling. Drawing on comments from Real Housewives of New York City star Sai de Silva and a Census Bureau working paper examining children’s long-term outcomes after divorce, Tracy considers the financial, emotional, and practical consequences of family change—and why population averages cannot determine what one family should do.

The conversation examines how financial strain, relocation, parental distance, and ongoing conflict can shape children’s experiences. It also explores how divorce coaches can help parents anticipate challenges, prepare for difficult decisions, and protect children from becoming caught in adult conflict.

Whether parents remain married or separate, the central question is: What will they do to create a safer, steadier, and more supportive environment for their children?

Interested in learning more about the professional practice of divorce coaching and helping clients navigate these complex questions? Explore Divorce Coaches Academy® and discover how our training can help you support clients through conflict, decision-making, and family change.

In this episode, Tracy Callahan explores the growing use of AI in divorce and co-parenting communication and asks an important question: Are we simply improving the communication, or are we developing the communicator? AI can help clients draft better responses, reduce escalation and think through difficult interactions, but it can also become a substitute for developing the skills needed to navigate conflict independently. Tracy examines what this means for divorce coaches and how AI can be used to support—not replace—the development of conflict competency, decision-making and client capacity.

Takeaways

• AI as a communication tool
• Developing conflict competency

Chapters

• 00:00 The Role of AI in Communication
• 03:23 Bandage vs. Treatment
• 10:45 Communication and Conflict Management
• 19:37 The Value of Divorce Coaching
• 25:06 AI as a Tool for Conflict Competency
• 31:51 Developing Capacity for Conflict Navigation

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®, explore professional training programs, and discover resources for advancing your divorce coaching practice at https://divorcecoachesacademy.com.

Knowing what you want before divorce mediation may sound like good preparation. But when a client enters mediation committed to one specific outcome, with no ability to explore alternatives, that certainty can make negotiation more difficult.

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan explores “the proposal problem” and why being ready to attend mediation is not the same as being ready to negotiate. Effective mediation preparation requires more than identifying and defending a preferred outcome. Clients must also understand why that outcome matters, what problem they are trying to solve, where flexibility may exist, what information is missing, and whether other possibilities could address the same priorities.

Tracy explains how divorce, uncertainty, financial concerns, parenting decisions, and prolonged conflict can narrow a person’s thinking. A house, parenting schedule, support amount, or retirement asset can become the individual “tree” that prevents someone from seeing the larger landscape. By exploring the proposal behind the proposal, clients can better understand the needs, fears, values, and interests influencing their decisions.

This episode also examines the specialized role of a pre-mediation divorce coach. Divorce coaches do not provide legal advice, evaluate settlement offers, recommend what clients should propose, or tell them what to accept. Instead, they help clients build conflict competency, ask better questions, recognize reactions, clarify priorities, consider possibilities, and identify when guidance is needed from an attorney, mediator, CPA, CDFA, or other professional.

You will learn:

• Why knowing what you want is not enough for effective divorce mediation
• The difference between positions, interests, proposals, and possibilities
• How to identify the problem behind a preferred outcome
• Why understanding the other person’s interests does not mean agreeing with them
• How pre-mediation divorce coaching supports informed decision making
• Why scope of practice and professional role clarity matter
• How better preparation can improve the work of attorneys, mediators, and financial professionals

The next Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach Training at Divorce Coaches Academy® begins September 16. This six-week specialized program is open to certified divorce coaches and mediators who want to help clients prepare more effectively for negotiation, decision making, and participation in mediation.

Learn more about the Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach Training with Divorce Coaches Academy® at: https://divorce-coaches-academy1.thinkific.com/courses/dca-pre-mediation-divorce-coach-training-intensive-sept-2026

www.divo

Financial decisions made during divorce can affect your life for decades. Yet many people enter the process without fully understanding their assets, expenses, retirement accounts, tax considerations, or what their financial life may look like after the divorce is final.

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, host Debra Doak is joined by Alyssa Miller, CFP®, CDFA®, CDC®, CLTC®, a private wealth advisor with Feldmeyer Financial Group and co-founder and managing director of Alternative Divorce Solutions.

Debra and Alyssa discuss why financial literacy is essential during divorce and how gaining even a basic understanding of your financial picture can improve confidence, strengthen decision making, and help you evaluate settlement options more effectively.

Many couples divide financial responsibilities during marriage. One spouse may manage household expenses while the other oversees investments, retirement accounts, taxes, or long-term planning. When divorce begins, that division of responsibility can leave one person feeling overwhelmed, embarrassed, or unprepared to participate in important financial conversations.

Alyssa explains why there is no shame in not knowing what you have not yet had the opportunity to learn. The goal is not to become a financial expert overnight. It is to understand enough to ask informed questions, recognize the long-term impact of different options, and know when additional professional support is needed.

Debra and Alyssa explore:

• Why equal and fair do not always mean the same thing in a divorce settlement
• How to gather bank statements, credit card records, tax returns, investment information, and other financial documents
• Why understanding monthly income and expenses is critical before evaluating settlement options
• How budgeting can help clients prepare for life after divorce
• What to consider before deciding to keep the marital home
• How refinancing, interest rates, maintenance, taxes, insurance, and repairs affect affordability
• Why keeping the home may require giving up retirement funds, investments, or accessible cash
• How traditional retirement accounts and Roth accounts may have different tax consequences
• Why pensions, military benefits, federal retirement plans, 401(k)s, and other accounts may require specialized guidance
• What individuals can do during the first 90 days after divorce to begin building financial stability
• Why asking for qualified help can increase confidence and reduce costly mistakes

A settlement may appear reasonable on paper but still fail to support the life a client needs to live. Financial literacy helps clients look beyond what they are dividing today and consider whether their decisions will remain practical and sustainable tomorrow.

The most important takeaway is simple: Do not be afraid to ask for help. Divorce involves too many consequential financial decisions to navigate with your eyes closed. Education, preparation, and the right professional team can help you understand your options, regain a sense of control, and make decisions that support your future.

Learn more about Alyssa Miller and Alternative Divorce Solutions:
https://alternativedivorcesolutions.com/about/alyssa-miller/

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®:
https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

Find a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach:
https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator

Should I get a divorce? It’s a simple question that can carry months—or even years—of uncertainty, fear, grief, guilt, frustration, and competing priorities. In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, host Tracy Callahan explores the internal conflict that often begins long before a divorce petition is filed, a parenting plan is created, or a couple enters mediation.

For conflict-informed divorce coaches, the goal is not to tell clients whether they should stay married or get divorced. The goal is to help them understand the decision they are facing. Tracy explains how coaches can explore the interests beneath fixed positions, recognize ambivalence as valuable information, and help clients distinguish facts from fears, assumptions, interpretations, and predictions.

This episode examines the powerful narratives people may attach to divorce, including beliefs about failure, finances, parenting, identity, and the effect of separation on children. Tracy also discusses the importance of listening for absolute language such as “always,” “never,” “can’t,” and “I have no choice,” while asking thoughtful questions that expand a client’s perspective without minimizing legitimate concerns.

Listeners will learn how emotional urgency can narrow thinking, why preparation supports better decision-making, and how missing information can make an already difficult choice feel impossible. Tracy also addresses professional boundaries, appropriate referrals, client self-determination, and the divorce coach’s responsibility to remain curious, supportive, and non-directive.

Whether you are a divorce coach, mediator, attorney, mental health professional, financial professional, or someone contemplating separation or divorce, this conversation offers a thoughtful framework for understanding the conflict beneath the question. The objective is not to make decisions for clients—it is to create the conditions in which informed, intentional, and self-directed decisions become possible.

Divorce Coaches Academy® provides professional divorce coach training, advanced skill development, practical tools, and conflict-informed frameworks designed to help coaches support clients responsibly and effectively before, during, and after divorce.

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®, explore professional training programs, and discover resources for advancing your divorce coaching practice at https://divorcecoachesacademy.com.

In divorce, “fair” can feel like the finish line but an agreement that looks balanced on paper can still create financial strain, parenting stress, and ongoing conflict in real life.

On this week's podcast, Debra Doak explores why fairness alone isn’t enough and introduces the FAIR model, a practical coaching framework for evaluating whether a divorce agreement is truly sustainable:

F — Feasible: Can you realistically live with it?
A — Adaptable: Can it accommodate life’s inevitable changes?
I — Intentional: Does it reflect your values and future goals?
R — Repeatable: Can you maintain it over time without resentment or extraordinary effort?

Through relatable examples involving the marital home, parenting schedules, financial support, and settlement decisions, Debra shares powerful questions divorce coaches can use to help clients move beyond emotional reactions and make clear, informed choices.

Because the best divorce agreement isn’t simply one that feels fair today—it’s one that still works tomorrow.

Learn more about divorce coaching and professional certification at divorcecoachesacademy.com.

In this thought provoking episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan is joined by Nikki Bould, Director of Education and Development for Divorce Coaches Academy New Zealand, to explore a simple but powerful question:

What if we designed the family dispute resolution system today instead of inheriting the one we have?

Together, they challenge traditional assumptions about divorce and examine what could change if families were prepared for decision making before being asked to choose a legal process.

Drawing on conflict resolution, neuroscience, child development, and interdisciplinary practice, they discuss why capacity, education, and readiness may be the missing pieces in creating healthier outcomes for families.

This conversation explores redefining success in divorce, the role of divorce coaching as an early dispute resolution resource, and why building better decision makers may be just as important as reaching an agreement.

If you work with families or are interested in the future of divorce coaching, mediation, family law, or conflict resolution, this episode offers a fresh perspective on what meaningful innovation could look like.

To learn more about Nikki Bould and her dispute resolution work in New Zealand, please see https://www.adsi.org.nz/coach-nikki-bould and to learn more about Divorce Coach Certification training in New Zealand, you can contact Nikki directly at DCA.NZ@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Why do clients keep reacting in ways they regret, even when they know better?

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan speaks with conflict expert, mediator, DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach, and author Masha Rusanov about the unconscious patterns that keep people trapped in recurring divorce and co-parenting conflict.

Masha introduces the Exhale, Explore, Engage® framework from her book, Repatterned: How to Transform Your Conflict Defaults and Reclaim Your Life. Together, they explore why familiar reactions become automatic under stress, how nervous system activation limits access to communication skills, and why waiting for the other person to change gives away personal agency.

They also discuss how divorce coaches can help clients recognize their contribution to a conflict dynamic without assigning blame or stepping outside the scope of coaching. High conflict does not mean a resolution-focused approach will not work. It means clients may first need the awareness and capacity to interrupt old patterns and choose a different response.

Lasting change does not begin when conflict disappears. It begins when we recognize the pattern and realize we have another choice.

Learn more about Masha:

Masha Rusanov is a conflict expert, DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach, ICF Certified Coach, and a mediator with a Master's in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding. She works with individuals and organizations navigating conflict and high-stakes relationship dynamics. Before building her divorce coaching and conflict resolution practice, she spent over two decades in tech at companies like Google and Intuit. "Repatterned" is her latest book. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, California, with her blended family.

https://www.masharusanov.com/

Purchase Repatterned:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1957917911

What if reducing co-parenting conflict does not require both parents to cooperate?

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan welcomes Crystal Fisher, founder and executive director of Parenting with Grace, author of Protected and Connected, parenting educator, and DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach.

Together, they challenge the belief that successful co-parenting requires constant communication, mutual cooperation, or a friendly relationship between former spouses. Crystal explains how one parent can begin changing entrenched conflict patterns by communicating with greater intention, creating emotional stability, and focusing on what they can control.

The conversation also explores why less communication may be healthier in some situations, how parallel parenting can protect families from ongoing conflict, and why children should never be expected to carry the emotional burden of their parents’ divorce. Crystal shares practical ways parents can pause, examine their responses, and measure progress by the peace and stability they create for themselves and their children.

Learn more about Crystal’s work at Parenting with Grace:
https://parentingwithgrace.org

Purchase Protected and Connected on Amazon:
https://a.co/d/0bJyMCw0

What makes divorce coaching a profession worthy of public trust?

Inspired by America’s 250th anniversary, Tracy Callahan reflects on the founding principles that can guide divorce coaching as it grows around the world. She explores why the profession must be grounded in self determination, ethical practice, informed decision making, interdisciplinary collaboration, and respect for the limits of the divorce coaching role.

This episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast invites divorce coaches and other family law professionals to look beyond titles and services and consider the profession we are building together. The future of divorce coaching will not be defined by personalities. It will be defined by the principles each generation chooses to uphold.

Learn more about professional divorce coach training and the ADR Divorce Coach Certification program at Divorce Coaches Academy®.

What happens when a mental health professional finds herself navigating betrayal, manipulation, and a high conflict breakup?

In this powerful episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Debra Doak sits down with licensed professional counselor, behavioral health executive, speaker, and author Connie Crowe to discuss the realities of recovering from a relationship with a high conflict, manipulative partner. Connie shares why traditional therapy alone wasn't enough, how working with an ADR Divorce Coach transformed her healing journey, and what it took to rebuild trust in herself after betrayal.

Together, they explore betrayal trauma, decision fatigue, psychological safety, values based decision making, healthy boundaries, and why highly empathetic, conscientious people can become vulnerable to unhealthy relationship dynamics. Whether you're a divorce professional supporting clients or someone navigating your own separation or breakup, this conversation offers practical insight, hope, and a powerful reminder that healing begins when you reclaim your own agency.

• Why betrayal trauma often requires support beyond traditional therapy
• How an ADR Divorce Coach helps clients navigate complex decisions with confidence
• The power of values based decision making during major life transitions
• Why psychological safety is essential for healing
• How to recognize unhealthy relationship patterns without losing yourself

Connie Crowe, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor, behavioral health executive, speaker, and author of Wired to Glow: The New Psychology of Super Traits. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, she helps women understand trauma, recognize unhealthy relationship dynamics, trust their intuition, and reclaim their power.

Connect with Connie
🌐 www.wiredtoglow.com
📸 Instagram: @wiredtoglow

Divorce Coaches Academy® trains and certifies professionals as ADR Divorce Coaches, equipping them with specialized skills in conflict resolution, decision making, communication, and client centered coaching. Whether you're looking for a qualified divorce coach or interested in becoming one, learn more at:

🌐 https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

Who Are You Beyond the Divorce? Finding Identity, Purpose, and Peace with Susan Filan

Divorce changes more than legal status. It challenges identity, disrupts certainty, and forces people to ask one of life's hardest questions: Who am I now?

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan sits down with attorney, ADR Divorce Coach®, and Heroic Divorce founder Susan Filan. After surviving a life-changing accident that transformed her perspective on success, purpose, and identity, Susan now helps clients navigate divorce as an opportunity for personal growth rather than simply a legal ending.

Together, they explore why divorce coaching fills a critical gap in the divorce process, how conflict informed coaching helps clients make better decisions, and why lasting transformation begins by reconnecting with who we are beneath the roles, titles, and relationships that often define us.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why divorce is an identity transition, not just a legal process
• The difference between external validation and internal values
• How conflict informed divorce coaching helps clients make clearer decisions
• Why moving from victim to hero changes the divorce experience
• The role of purpose, choice, and self leadership in creating life after divorce
• How divorce coaching supports clients beyond the courtroom

Whether you're a divorce professional or navigating your own transition, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that healing begins when we reconnect with who we truly are and discover that divorce can become the beginning of a more intentional life.

Connect with Susan Filan:
Learn more about Susan’s work and connect with her at https://susanfilan.com/

Ready to take the next step in your divorce coaching practice?
Apply for the DCA Divorce Coach Certification Program here>>>

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Debra Doak is joined by her former client, Dianne Harris, relationship coach, speaker, and author of her memoir, "Love Bomb: He Sold Her a Dream and Delivered a Nightmare."

Dianne shares her personal experience navigating an emotionally abusive relationship, high-conflict divorce, and the confusion, overwhelm, and emotional whiplash that often come with divorcing a difficult personality. She also discusses how working with a DCA® Divorce Coach helped her gain clarity, stay grounded, understand her options, and move through the divorce process with more confidence and support.

After rebuilding her life, Dianne now helps purpose-driven women heal, reclaim their identity, and create healthy, emotionally safe relationships. Through her coaching, writing, and content, she empowers women to choose themselves, find their voice, and become the version of themselves who no longer settles for less than they deserve.

Connect with Dianne:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/diannepatriciaharris

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dianneharriscoach

Love Bomb on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY5BL3G3

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy® and find a DCA® Certified Divorce Coach:
https://divorcecoachesacademy.com

As divorce coaching continues to grow across Canada, more professionals from adjacent fields—including family law, mediation, financial services, mental health, and life coaching—are incorporating divorce coaching into their practices. But as the profession expands, important questions are emerging:

What is divorce coaching? What competencies should clients expect? How do we distinguish education from certification? And what role should dispute resolution play in preparing professionals to support people through divorce?

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan is joined by Dori Braddell, DCA's Director of Education and Development for Canada, to explore the evolving landscape of divorce coaching and introduce Elevate Canada, a new educational pathway designed for experienced professionals seeking to deepen and formalize their divorce coach training.

Together, Tracy and Dori discuss:

• The rapid growth of divorce coaching in Canada
• Why professional standards, competency, and consumer trust matter
• The difference between supporting divorcing families and being trained as a divorce coach
• Why divorce coaching is a distinct profession—not simply an extension of law, mediation, mental health, or life coaching
• The critical role of dispute resolution and conflict awareness in effective divorce coaching
• The risks of unintentionally crossing from coaching into advising or directing clients
• Why experience and formal education are complementary, not interchangeable
• The importance of competency-based certification
• How Elevate Canada helps experienced professionals strengthen their skills, credentials, and professional standing

Dori shares insights from her own journey into divorce coaching and explains why many experienced lawyers, mediators, and mental health professionals are surprised by how different divorce coaching is from their existing professional work.

Whether you're already practicing as a divorce coach, supporting families through divorce in another professional capacity, or exploring how to expand your services, this episode offers valuable perspective on the future of the profession and the importance of specialized training.

Elevate Canada was created for professionals who are already working in the divorce space—or in related professions—and want to deepen their education through DCA's ADR-based divorce coaching framework.

Participants complete the full educational curriculum of the DCA® Divorce Coach Certification Program through a flexible, self-paced learning model, while receiving ongoing support through twice-monthly office hours with DCA's Director of Education and Development for Canada.

Completion of the educational curriculum does not automatically result in certification. Those pursuing certification must successfully demonstrate competency through the DCA® certification examination process.

To learn more about Elevate Canada, visit:
https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/elevate

To apply to ELEVATE, go to:

https://form.jotform.com/261663154806156

For questions about the program, contact:
DCA.CA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this thought-provoking episode, Tracy Callahan explores a question that surfaces repeatedly in divorce coaching but is rarely asked directly: What are people really seeking when they want an apology, acknowledgement, or explanation from their former partner?

Inspired by the public conversation surrounding a bestselling memoir about marriage and betrayal, Tracy examines why so many people become stuck waiting for validation from someone else before allowing themselves to move forward. Through the lens of divorce coaching, she uncovers the deeper needs often hidden beneath the desire for an apology—self-trust, certainty, permission, understanding, and meaning.

Listeners will learn why acknowledgment from another person may not provide the relief they expect, how divorce can trigger profound identity uncertainty, and what becomes possible when people stop organizing their healing around someone else's capacity to reflect, repair, or take responsibility.

This episode offers valuable insights for divorce coaches, helping professionals, and anyone navigating the emotional complexity of relationship transitions.

In this episode, Tracy discusses:

• Why people often seek explanations long after a relationship ends
• The difference between wanting acknowledgment and needing permission
• How divorce challenges self-trust and personal identity
• Why apologies don't always create closure
• The role of divorce coaching in helping clients reconnect with their own capacity and decision-making
• Moving forward without waiting for validation from someone else

Whether you're supporting clients through divorce or navigating your own life transition, this conversation offers a powerful reminder: healing often begins when we stop waiting for someone else to unlock the next chapter.

When clients ask, "What should I do?" they are often seeking more than answers—they are seeking relief from uncertainty, fear, and overwhelm. In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy Podcast, Tracy Callahan is joined by family law attorney, mediator, and divorce coach Lauren Fair to explore one of the most common and ethically nuanced questions divorce professionals encounter.

Together, they discuss the critical distinction between providing education and giving advice, why decision-making can feel so difficult during divorce, and how divorce coaches help clients build clarity, confidence, and self-trust without making decisions for them. Lauren shares insights from both her legal and coaching perspectives, highlighting the importance of understanding options, navigating conflict, and supporting clients in making values-based decisions that align with their goals.

The conversation also explores professional boundaries, the role of coaching within interdisciplinary divorce teams, and why ethical standards, competency, and staying within scope are essential to the continued growth and credibility of the divorce coaching profession.

Whether you're a divorce coach, attorney, mediator, financial professional, mental health practitioner, or someone navigating divorce yourself, this episode offers valuable insights into helping clients move from confusion to clarity—without telling them what to do.

Topics discussed:
• Why clients ask professionals, "What should I do?"
• The connection between fear, uncertainty, and decision-making
• Education versus advice in divorce coaching
• Rebuilding self-trust after divorce and betrayal
• Values-based decision-making during conflict
• Ethical boundaries and scope of practice
• The evolving role of divorce coaches on professional teams
• Building client capacity and confidence for long-term success

Learn more about Lauren Fair, Certified Family Law Specialist, Mediator, and Divorce Coach, Dedicated to Resolving Family Law Problems Outside of Court at Fair Cadora https://faircadora.com/legal-team/lauren-m-fair

Divorce Coaches Academy® and upcoming certification programs at divorcecoachesacademy.com

What happens when helping actually gets in the way of healing?

In this powerful episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy Podcast®, Tracy Callahan is joined by somatic experiencing practitioner, certified mental health coach, Michelle Browning for a profound conversation about the shift from correction to capacity in divorce coaching.

Together, they explore why rushing to fix, solve, or “move clients forward” can unintentionally reinforce overwhelm—and why building a client’s capacity to stay connected to themselves during conflict may be the most important work divorce coaches do.

Through the lens of nervous system regulation, agency, autonomy, and emotional resilience, Tracy and Michelle unpack:

• Why strategy alone is not enough when clients are flooded or shut down
• The difference between emotional regulation and nervous system regulation
• How “helping” can sometimes soothe the professional more than the client
• What functional freeze looks like in divorce conversations and legal meetings
• Why tiny, tolerable steps create sustainable progress
• How divorce coaches can become a grounded, regulating presence for clients navigating uncertainty and conflict

Michelle also shares a moving story about a butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis—a metaphor that beautifully illustrates the importance of allowing clients the dignity of their own process.

This episode is an invitation for divorce coaches and helping professionals to rethink what support truly means and to recognize that transformation often happens not through rushing, but through staying present long enough for capacity to grow.

About Michelle Browning
Michelle Browning guides people through endings, messy middles, and new beginnings with a trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach to healing and personal transformation. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Certified Mental Health Coach and educator who helps clients reclaim their voice, agency, and direction—one tolerable step at a time.

Learn more about Michelle Browning at:
https://www.michellebrowning.com

• How The Mother Lode evolved from writing about motherhood into writing about divorce and separation
• The emotional process of realizing a marriage is over
• The moment she finally decided to leave her marriage
• What it feels like to navigate a high-conflict divorce
• How divorce coaching differs from therapy and legal representation
• Why many women struggle to answer the question: “What do you need?”
• The financial stress and uncertainty many women face during divorce
• How divorce coaching helped her prepare for attorney meetings and legal negotiations
• Why emotional regulation and “distress tolerance” are critical during divorce
• The ongoing challenges of post-divorce conflict and co-parenting
• How divorce coaching helped her feel more “sturdy,” capable, and empowered

Divorce is not just a legal process. It is emotional, financial, logistical, and deeply personal.

This episode highlights how divorce coaching can provide strategic and emotional support during divorce—especially for individuals navigating high-conflict relationships, financial uncertainty, and identity shifts after separation.

Listeners will walk away with a clearer understanding of:

• What a divorce coach actually does
• When divorce coaching can help
• How divorce coaching can reduce overwhelm during divorce
• Why support systems matter during major life transitions

“Sometimes you’ve got to write your way through to the truth.”

“I never want to feel this way again.”

“Don’t be afraid to need a lot of people in your corner during this phase in your life.”

“What if you left for your kids?”

• Substack: https://cindyditiberio.substack.com/
• Instagram: @cindy.ditiberio

• Website: https://divorcecoachesacademy.com
• Find a Certified Divorce Coach through Divorce Coaches Academy® Coach Locator https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator

Cindy DiTiberio is a writer and creator of The Mother Load, a popular Substack focused on motherhood, divorce, relationships, identity, and co-parenting. Through personal essays and her “Divorce Diaries” interview series, Cindy shares honest stories about the emotional and practical realities of divorce that resonate with thousands of women navigating similar experiences.

As divorce coaching continues to grow, social media has created a new form of authority built on relatability, lived experience, and audience trust. But when personal experience becomes guidance without clear ethical boundaries, what risks emerge for vulnerable individuals navigating divorce?

Tracy examines the difference between lived experience and professional competency, the ethical concerns surrounding unregulated influence in the divorce space, and why divorce coaching requires more than visibility and personal storytelling. She discusses how emotional vulnerability, algorithm driven platforms, and monetized audiences are reshaping the landscape of divorce support and why ethical standards matter now more than ever.

Topics discussed include:
• The rise of the divorce influencer phenomenon
• Why relatability is not the same as expertise
• The ethical risks of unregulated guidance during divorce
• Audience trust, monetization, and accountability
• Scope of practice in divorce coaching
• The importance of conflict informed and ADR aligned coaching
• Why divorce coaching requires training, structure, and ethical responsibility

This episode is a powerful call for greater clarity, professionalism, and accountability within the divorce coaching industry and a reminder that influence without responsibility can create real harm.

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy® and professional divorce coach training at:
https://divorcecoachesacademy.com

Dating after divorce is often framed as a “fresh start.” But what if it’s not?

In this episode, Tracy Callahan is joined by Wendy Kesser, certified divorce coach and professional “rematchmaker,” to explore what really happens when clients re-enter the world of relationships after divorce.

Together, they unpack why dating after divorce is less about starting over and more about stepping into a new relational environment one where old patterns, assumptions, and conflict dynamics often resurface.

For divorce coaches, this conversation highlights a critical truth: the work doesn’t end when the agreement is signed. It evolves.

• Why dating after divorce is both a new chapter and a continuation of past relational patterns
• How unresolved internal conflict shows up in partner selection and dating decisions
• The difference between being ready to date and having the capacity to engage in relationships differently
• Why clients often “date for replacement” instead of alignment
• The role of values audits in helping clients make intentional relationship choices
• How coaches can shift clients from seeking validation to developing discernment
• Why the goal is not to help clients find the “right partner,” but to help them engage in relationships differently

Dating is not a clean slate
Clients carry forward patterns, assumptions, and ways of engaging into new relationships—often without awareness.

Readiness is not a feeling—it’s a capacity
True readiness includes emotional availability, tolerance for uncertainty, and the ability to communicate with clarity and honesty.

The past may still be doing the choosing
When clients define what they want based on what they don’t want, they remain anchored to prior relationships rather than aligned with future intentions.

Clients don’t need scripts—they need skills
The work is not about telling clients what to say. It’s about helping them develop awareness, capacity, and intentional engagement.

Divorce coaching extends beyond the divorce
Supporting clients in how they re-engage in relationships is where long-term transformation happens.

• Help clients identify and understand their relational patterns
• Support intentional decision-making, not reactive choices
• Guide clients toward values-based alignment
• Encourage self-awareness over performance in dating
• Provide referrals and resources that support continued growth

• “The problem is not the pool. The problem is the filter.”
• “Readiness isn’t a feeling—it’s a capacity.”
• “Clients don’t date… they audition.”
• “The work is helping clients consciously author their next chapter.”

Wendy Kesser is a certified divorce coach, professional matchmaker, and founder of Get With Wendy. She specializes in working with divorced and widowed individuals, helping them navigate partner selection with intention and clarity. Wendy brings a unique perspective by combining divorce coaching with matchmaking, offering insight into how past relational dynamics influence future choices.

🔗 Learn more: https://GetWithWendy.com

Does better communication really reduce conflict in divorce? Not always.

In this episode, Tracy Callahan breaks down why communication strategies often fail in high conflict divorce—and how, in many cases, communication actually escalates conflict instead of resolving it.

If you’re a divorce coach, mediator, therapist, or family law professional, this conversation will shift how you understand conflict dynamics. You’ll learn why clients stay stuck in repetitive arguments, why “just communicate better” doesn’t work, and what’s really driving high conflict behavior beneath the surface.

This episode explores the hidden mechanisms of conflict in divorce, offering a deeper understanding of why traditional approaches fall short and what professionals need to see in order to create meaningful change.

Keywords naturally included:
high conflict divorce, divorce communication, conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, family law conflict, mediation challenges, conflict dynamics, emotional conflict, divorce professionals

In This Episode:

• Why communication fails in high conflict divorce

• How communication can escalate conflict instead of resolving it

• Understanding conflict dynamics beneath surface-level behavior

• Why clients repeat the same arguments without resolution

Divorce doesn’t unfold in a straight line it comes in waves. In this episode Tracy Callahan is joined by Tamara Arnold family law attorney mediator DCA certified ADR divorce coach and creator of DivorceWave to explore what really happens between sessions when clients are triggered overwhelmed and at risk of escalating conflict.

They discuss the gap between when conflict happens and when support is available how emotional dis-regulation impacts decision making and communication and why creating pause awareness and simple tools is essential for better outcomes. Tamara shares how DivorceWave can help clients regulate process emotions and respond more intentionally in real time while supporting the work coaches are already doing.

Timecodes
00:00 Welcome and introduction to conflict in divorce
02:00 Why divorce unfolds in emotional waves
04:20 The disconnect between support and real life moments
06:20 Common reactive decisions that escalate conflict
09:15 The importance of pause and emotional regulation
11:40 Limits of attorneys mediators and therapists in real time
14:20 Recognizing and interrupting conflict patterns
18:20 Introducing the DivorceWave app
25:15 How coaches can use DivorceWave with clients
28:20 Rethinking support between sessions

Key Takeaways
Conflict in divorce happens between sessions not during them
Emotional triggers override logic and lead to reactive decisions
Creating space before responding is one of the most powerful tools
Pattern awareness is the first step to breaking conflict cycles
Clients need real time tools not just scheduled support
DivorceWave helps extend support beyond sessions in practical accessible ways

Divorce coaching conflict resolution emotional regulation during divorce co parenting conflict divorce mediation support divorce coaching tools managing divorce stress high conflict divorce help mindfulness divorce divorce coach resources

DivorceWave is an on demand digital divorce coach designed to support your clients between sessions when they need it most. Whether they are triggered by an angry text from their Ex spiraling at 2 AM or heading into a tough conversation DivorceWave gives them tools to regulate strategize and move forward in the moment when it counts.
Get started DivorceWave.com and click the link to "Try Divorce Wave for Free"

Special Offers Mentioned in This Episode

For Coaches Try It Free Use code DCACOACH at checkout for 100 percent off 6 months of access. Expires May 31 2026. Do not wait on this one.

Share the Savings Give your clients code WAVERIDER to take 80 dollars off an annual subscription just 49.99 for the entire year plus a 7 day free trial so they can explore before committing.

Struggling with communication during divorce? You're not alone and it's not just about what’s being said.

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy podcast, Debra Doak explains why communication breaks down during divorce conflict and what’s really happening beneath the surface when conversations escalate. From emotional flooding and mismatched conflict styles to defensive listening and unspoken expectations, this episode breaks down the five key reasons communication fails—and how to fix it.

Whether you're a divorce coach, mediator, or navigating divorce yourself, you’ll gain practical tools to improve communication, reduce conflict, and make better decisions during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How emotional triggers impact communication in divorce
• Why conflict styles (pursuer vs. avoider) create tension
• The importance of active listening in high-conflict conversations
• How assumptions and expectations fuel misunderstandings
• Strategies divorce coaches use to help clients communicate effectively

If you're looking to reduce conflict, improve co-parenting communication, or support clients through divorce, this episode is a must-listen.

Keywords: divorce communication, conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, co-parenting communication, high conflict divorce, emotional flooding, communication breakdown, divorce support, divorce coach training, managing conflict in relationships

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy Podcast, Tracy Callahan is joined by Jacinta Gallant to explore how curiosity can be used as a conflict intervention in divorce. Together, they discuss why certainty, blame, and defensiveness often escalate conflict, and how targeted curiosity can help individuals make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and move through divorce with greater self-awareness.

This conversation is especially valuable for divorce coaches, mediators, family law professionals, and anyone navigating divorce conflict. If you want a deeper understanding of conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, and curiosity in mediation, this episode offers practical insight into a more thoughtful and effective approach.

Key Takeaways

• Curiosity can interrupt defensiveness and reduce conflict escalation.
• Certainty about being right or fair often blocks productive communication.
• Divorce is not just a legal process. It is a conflict process.
• Many traditional divorce and mediation models overlook the relational dynamics driving conflict.
• Divorce coaches play an important role in helping clients build self-awareness and engage more effectively in difficult conversations.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Role of Curiosity in Conflict Resolution
• 06:32 Insight Approach to Conflict
• 19:17 Limits of Professional Roles in Developing Curiosity
• 28:26 Development of Resources for Self-Discovery and Conflict Engagement

This episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast explores one of the most overlooked dimensions of divorce: a child’s lived experience inside the conflict process.

While parents navigate legal decisions, emotional strain, and uncertainty, there is often a well-intended instinct to protect children by minimizing what they see or feel. But what happens when that protection becomes silence—and a child’s experience goes unacknowledged?

Tracy is joined by Carolyn Jacobs—certified divorce and co-parenting coach, parenting plan mediator, and DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach—to examine the critical distinction between shielding children from conflict and unintentionally disconnecting from their reality. Together, they unpack how children process what they sense versus what they’re told, the risks of “holding it together,” and how parents can model emotional honesty without placing emotional weight on the child.

Grounded in DCA®’s framing of divorce as a conflict and communication process, this conversation highlights how parent-child communication during divorce shapes a child’s long-term ability to navigate relationships, conflict, and self-expression. The episode also offers practical insight for professionals supporting parents who may be unintentionally minimizing their child’s experience—and how to begin repairing that dynamic.

The conversation extends into a broader lens on civil discourse, exploring how what happens inside the home directly influences a child’s ability to engage with difference and disagreement outside of it.

Carolyn also shares more about her upcoming Conversations that Contribute Series event: Fostering Civil Discourse Among Youth: A Conversation with Dr. Michael Saini. This 60-minute virtual event will take place on Wednesday, April 15, 2026 at 4 PM ET (1 PM PT / 3 PM CT), with tickets available for $10. Hosted by Ally in Divorce, the conversation supports Kids Managing Conflict, a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening peer mediation programs in schools. Register Here

This is a nuanced and highly relevant conversation for divorce professionals, parents, and anyone invested in how the next generation learns to navigate conflict—with clarity, empathy, and integrity.

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

Instagram: www.divorcecoachesacademy/divorcecoachesacademy

LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy

Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The moment a divorcing client looks at us and says, “Just tell me what to do,” it can feel almost cruel not to step in with the answer. But that impulse is exactly where ethics, skill, and real transformation live. We sit down with Andrea Hips, LBSW and certified divorce coach, to talk about power, agency, and why “being the expert” can quietly become the fastest way to take power away from the person we’re trying to help.

We get specific about the difference between power and control, and why divorce makes people chase certainty like it’s oxygen. When a client clings to one outcome, we unpack what they’re really reaching for: safety, stability, and relief from overwhelm. From there we move into practical coaching tools for conflict-informed divorce coaching and alternative dispute resolution minded support, including how to slow down decisions under legal pressure, how to build distress tolerance, and how to help clients act wisely while uncertainty stays right beside them.

We also name the subtle ways coaches can unintentionally influence choices through tone, affirmations, and question framing. Andrea shares a simple North Star: there are many right answers, and hindsight isn’t something you can buy today. Protecting client agency is not a “nice to have” in divorce coaching, it’s the standard that builds capacity, reduces escalation, and helps clients leave coaching stronger than they arrived.

If you care about ethical divorce coaching, client autonomy, and decision making in high-conflict divorce, listen through and take notes. Subscribe, share this with a coach or friend going through divorce, and leave a review with the biggest shift you’re taking from the conversation.

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The conversation delves into the foundational principles of dispute resolution, emphasizing the importance of self-actualization and the role of divorce coaches in supporting growth and development. It highlights the value of presence and process, the need to tolerate slower progress for alignment, and the challenge of recognizing and managing personal discomfort in the process.

Takeaways

• Self-actualization is essential in dispute resolution
• The value of presence and process in supporting growth and development

Chapters

• 00:00 Foundational Principles of Dispute Resolution
• 06:09 Recognizing the Need for Self-Actualization
• 12:11 Value of Presence and Process
• 17:52 Recognizing and Managing Personal Discomfort

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We dig beneath “the house,” “the money,” and “Wednesday” to reveal the real drivers of divorce conflict: power, fear, identity, and control. With Allison McFadden, we map skills that shift clients from positional fights to values-based choices they can live with.

• why surface conflict hides deeper fears and identity needs
• moving from positions to interests for better options
• invisible power dynamics in process, timing, and voice
• building perceived psychological power and steady presence
• fear, defensiveness, and how they close doors
• designing protocols and parenting tools to prevent repeat fights
• choosing language that de-escalates and humanizes
• avoiding professional missteps that entrench conflict
• redefining success as durable, client-owned agreements

If you're feeling that poll, whether you're an attorney, mediator, therapist, financial professional, or someone exploring the path to becoming a divorce coach, we have an upcoming certification beginning soon. So we've got a New Zealand cohort beginning in March, and we have both the United States and Canada cohorts beginning in April. These programs are intentionally designed not just to teach you the knowledge required to be a divorce coach within the dispute resolution field, but to give you the experiential hands-on training through mentorship and the practice required actually to be able to do the work because it's one thing to learn about it, it's another thing to do it. And information builds awareness, practice builds competence, and mentorship builds confidence. Our certification programs are grounded inside that ADR framework. And if you are a practicing divorce coach but trained somewhere else and you want to deepen your skill set or operate at a different level within the ADR community, our Elevate program was designed specifically for that purpose.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We dig into how clear, consistent messaging helps divorce coaches cut through noise, educate the market, and build real authority without slipping into self‑promotion. Jason Harper joins us to share a practical playbook for clarity of purpose, audience fit, and sustainable cadence.

• messaging as a professional competency, not an optional add‑on
• clarity of purpose across layers: educate, validate, and seed ideas
• defining your audience and where they actually listen
• choosing platforms that match your strengths and voice
• building a breadcrumb trail that validates credibility
• service‑first content vs personal narrative as the lead
• practical examples that show outcomes, not hype
• consistency, cadence, and durability over vanity metrics
• differentiating divorce coaching for the wider public
• ethics, boundaries, and professionalization of the field

If this conversation resonated with you, please share it with a colleague or continue these discussions within your professional community

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We break down escalation loops in co‑parenting, why they entrench, and how divorce coaches can interrupt them with practical, evidence‑informed tools. We share the pause protocol, BIF writing, nervous‑system resets, and real‑time awareness checks that end reactive volleys and protect the long game.

• definition of escalation loops and why they persist in divorce
• reactive communication and negative reciprocity mechanics
• amygdala hijack and dysregulation as baseline conditions
• pattern entrenchment and confirmation bias reinforcing the story
• the pause protocol as an active strategy
• choosing structured channels and using BIF for concise replies
• loop awareness questions to stop mid‑exchange
• regulate first, respond second using body‑based tools
• reframing the real goal from winning arguments to stable co‑parenting
• the coach’s role as steady, strategic partner

If today’s episode was useful to you, please share it with a colleague, leave a review wherever you listen to your podcast, or come find me at the DCA community. And if you would like to learn more about the training we provide to support the professional practice of divorce coaches, please check us out at divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We explore why love and conflict can coexist during divorce and how skill, not intention, changes outcomes. We show how awareness, regulation, and alignment transform automatic reactions into choices that protect kids and shape a healthier family system.

• acknowledging care while choosing to leave
• love as orientation, not conflict strategy
• conditioned patterns and nervous system activation
• awareness of triggers and pre‑reaction cues
• regulation tools that create space and choice
• alignment of behavior with future goals
• shifting family dynamics by changing one response
• redefining love as practiced stability and restraint

If you are interested in learning more about the professional practice of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution, please do not hesitate to check us out at Divorce CoachesAcademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

The loudest stories are getting the clicks, but are they serving clients? In this episode, we dig into a growing trend in divorce coaching—marketing that centers personal divorce and betrayal narratives—and examine how story-first positioning blurs boundaries, preloads expectations, and weakens trust with clients and referral partners. 

Lived experience can spark a calling, yet without training, supervision, and clear standards of practice, narrative becomes a substitute for competence instead of context for care.

We share a colleague’s candid market signal about boundary issues on social platforms and unpack why it matters for a profession that’s maturing under increased scrutiny. From the collapse of experience and expertise to the downstream effects on decision quality, we map the operational risks when coaches promise resonance over results. 

We also take a hard look at narrative-led training programs that elevate a founder’s story into “methodology,” and we explain how that shift erodes self-regulation, turns certification into symbolism, and confuses consumers who cannot see the difference between ADR-aligned coaching and scaled storytelling.

Then we offer a path forward. We outline how to right-size personal stories—context, not credential—and restore professional sequencing: my experience led me here, and my training allows me to help you. We argue for parity with family law professions where credibility rests on ethics, restraint, and competency, not disclosure. 

Expect practical framing you can use today, including a simple audit question for your website and messaging: if your personal story vanished, would your professional value still be clear? The future of divorce coaching depends on discipline over drama and structure over spectacle; clarity compounds trust.

If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review. Your feedback helps push the profession toward higher standards and better outcomes for clients navigating divorce.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

The fastest way to erode trust in divorce coaching is to leave the role undefined. In this episode, we dig into why standards of practice aren’t bureaucracy—they’re the backbone that makes our work predictable, referable, and genuinely useful inside family law, mediation, and collaborative practice. When coaches adopt a clear, ADR-aligned framework, we shift from personality-driven promises to process-driven outcomes that protect clients, respect boundaries, and earn credibility with attorneys and mediators.

We unpack the hard questions that clients and professionals shouldn’t have to guess at: What does a divorce coach do? Where does the role stop? How do we avoid confusing coaching with therapy, legal advice, or mediation? You’ll hear a real case that’s popping up across the field: coaches advertising that they “write parenting plans.” 

We explain why that crosses into legal drafting and decision authority, and we show the standards-aligned alternative—helping clients identify interests and needs, apply cognitive empathy to understand the other parent’s priorities, center children’s developmental realities, and craft interest-based proposals that can be negotiated for buy-in. That’s not document creation; it’s decision-making capacity building.

We also share practical steps to operationalize standards: publish them on your site as a professional anchor, weave them into intake and client agreements for informed consent, and use shared language that mirrors how attorneys, mediators, and therapists think about roles and boundaries. Along the way, we talk candidly about scope drift, social media pressure, and how ad hoc practices weaken referrals and credibility. If you’re ready to raise the bar through training, mentorship, and case consultation, these guidelines offer a path from “how I do it” to “how our profession operates.”

If this resonates, read the DCA Standards of Practice, integrate them into your materials, and share them with your referral partners. 

Subscribe, leave a review, and share with a colleague.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Fair can feel like justice. In divorce, it often becomes a trap. In this episode, we sat down with attorney and managing partner Sara Marler to explore why “I just want what’s fair” derails strategy, inflates costs, and delays peace—and how a trauma-informed, whole-person approach helps clients pivot toward outcomes they can actually live with. Sara opens the curtain on what courts really weigh under standards like “just and equitable,” why judges prioritize clarity over grievance, and how stories of betrayal still matter when they are used to guide better decisions rather than to fuel a courtroom campaign.

Together, we map the gap between emotional fairness and legal reality, then show how to close it with reframing, education, and the right team. You’ll hear how validating a client’s experience builds trust, how divorce coaches reduce legal fees by handling the emotional heavy lifting, and why amicable and collaborative professionals consistently deliver faster, more sustainable results than “shark” tactics. We also talk practical tools—mindfulness, targeted parenting classes, curated resources—that help parents stop scorekeeping and design plans centered on children’s needs, not adult ego.

If you’re navigating separation or advising clients through it, this conversation offers a clear path from conflict to closure: focus on what you can control, choose resolution over vindication, and measure success by stability, not revenge. Divorce splits one household into two; it won’t look the same, and that’s okay. The goal is a livable outcome that protects your kids, your wallet, and your future self. 

Subscribe, share this episode and leave us a review to help others find us. 

To learn more about Sara visit her practice website at: https://marlerlawpartners.com/

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

What if the word “fair” is quietly keeping clients stuck? We dive into the emotional gravity of fairness and show how precise language, neutral validation, and clean reflection can move people from moral courtroom to practical resolution. Guest Evelyn Marley—DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and host of the Fight Less podcast—joins us to unpack how communication tools like silence, mirroring, and micro-reframes lower defensiveness and open pathways to agreement without erasing emotion.

In this episode, we explore the distinction between validating feelings and approving positions, and we tackle the confirmation bias that often sways even well-meaning professionals. You’ll hear how to translate fairness into interests and needs, keep the focus future-facing, and align choices with a client’s best-self vision. We talk through reality-testing, the power of asking “Is it true?”, and why strategic pauses can surface insights that scripted speeches can’t. Most importantly, we define “good enough” as a value-aligned, livable threshold—not a surrender—so clients can choose progress without betraying their core.

Along the way, we spotlight common language traps that entrench conflict and offer practical prompts you can use today: clarifying what “fair” means to the client, reflecting small shifts that build momentum, and inviting clients to say the unsaid in a safe space. Conflict communication is a learnable skill, and when you change the words, you change the trajectory. 

Ready to trade fairness debates for better outcomes? Subscribe, share this podcast episode with a colleague, and leave a review.

About Evelyn:

Evelyn Marley is DCA® certified divorce and communication coach who helps people handle hard conversations by reframing conflict. Evelyn draws from mediation training, divorce coaching, and communication studies and her work centers on awareness, boundaries, repair, and language that lowers defensiveness and escalation.

She is also the host of the Fight(Less) Podcast, where she interviews experts who help people transform and use conflict management as a skill for repair, growth and deeper connection even during life's difficult challenges. 

How to reach Evelyn:
Email: reframingconflict@gmail.com
Website: https://www.evelynmarleycoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelynmarley/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5UZZMzwtPVGc1WeinCcDY9?si=883fa51bbafe4a6c

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Fair feels righteous, but it quietly keeps so many divorces stuck. We pull back the curtain on why “I just want what’s fair” becomes a trap and how a resolution-focused approach creates momentum, protects your energy, and ends conflict sooner. Instead of treating divorce like a moral tribunal, we frame it as a structured exit from a shared legal, financial, and parenting arrangement—one that rewards clear thinking and workable agreements over symbolic victories.

We start by separating two often-blurred ideas: fairness is an evaluation; resolution is a process. That single distinction changes the questions you ask and the outcomes you reach. You’ll hear how fairness multiplies objections, turns every proposal into a referendum on the past, and collapses time horizons. Then we lay out the resolution metrics that actually matter in mediation and negotiation: durability, conflict exposure, ease of implementation, and long-term autonomy. These criteria help you choose options you may not love but can accept—and acceptance is what unlocks closure.

A composite client story brings the shift to life. This is the quiet stall many reasonable people fall into: no yelling, just months of evaluation through a fairness lens. The breakthrough happens with one core question—what happens if you keep negotiating for fairness? Mapping real costs across time, money, emotional bandwidth, and co‑parenting reveals the truth: fairness isn’t producing relief. Resolution can. We also take on emotional justice head-on. Divorce processes don’t deliver moral verdicts; they deliver exit strategies. Healing belongs in therapy and community, not in your settlement terms.

If you’re a professional, we show how ADR-aligned divorce coaching teaches decision literacy and helps clients tolerate imperfect outcomes in service of a livable future. If you’re navigating your own divorce, you’ll leave with practical language, sharper filters, and a redefined vision of success: less escalation, greater stability, and fewer future flashpoints—especially for families with children. 

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep building smarter, resolution-centered tools for you.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Fair sounds virtuous, but it’s the quiet saboteur of many divorce negotiations. We pull back the curtain on how fairness language derails progress, fuels story stacking, and turns negotiations into a tribunal of the past instead of a plan for the future. When each person holds a private definition of “fair,” the gap widens, defensiveness rises, and workable options get torpedoed—not because they fail the kids or the law, but because they fail a sense of symmetry.

We make the case for a different target: good enough. That doesn’t mean settling for less; it means designing an agreement that functions under stress, reduces future touch points, and keeps emotional reengagement to a minimum. You’ll hear how to stress-test proposals with real-life questions—what happens when communication breaks down, when one parent is tired, or when compliance wobbles—and why agreements should be built for human behavior, not ideal behavior. We also draw a clear boundary: courts and mediation structures allocate responsibility and create enforceable terms; they don’t repair emotional inequity. Trying to extract justice from a system built for decisions guarantees frustration.

If you’re a divorce professional or coach, we share practical tools to help clients move from moral certainty to strategic flexibility, normalize disappointment as part of transition, and measure success by fewer future conflicts. And if you’re navigating divorce yourself, this conversation offers a steady off-ramp: stop chasing perfect balance and start building sustainable peace. 

Ready to trade fairness for function and finally get finished? 

Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague or friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway or question—we’d love to hear what “good enough” looks like for you.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Trust accelerates the work. That simple idea sits at the heart of our conversation with betrayal trauma specialist and DCA-certified ADR divorce coach, Christina Riley, as we explore why representation isn’t a tagline—it’s a performance driver in divorce coaching and mediation. Clients don’t arrive as blank slates; they bring history, stress responses, and a relationship to systems that can either inflame or calm conflict. When cultural understanding is present from the start, the nervous system settles and the coaching room turns from explanation into strategy.

We talk candidly about the access gap at the entry point: why many people in underrepresented communities delay support not because they don’t need it, but because they’re unsure the space will be safe or relevant. That delay has costs—escalated conflict, higher expenses, and harder-to-repair ruptures. Christina shares how Black clients intentionally seek coaches who share lived experience to reduce emotional labor, build early trust, and gain the clarity needed for mediation, parenting plans, and settlement conversations. The payoff is practical and immediate: clearer goals, stronger boundaries, and a sharper distinction between what genuinely matters and what’s merely emotionally loud.

We also examine the profession’s responsibility. Neutrality doesn’t demand sameness. Competence includes cultural literacy, rigorous standards, and ethical practice that adapts to reality without diluting quality. Training organizations like Divorce Coaches Academy can widen the pipeline while maintaining high bars through mentorship, community, and honest conversations about barriers. Lived experience is not a liability; paired with strong training, it’s a lens that improves outcomes across ADR.

If you care about early intervention, reduced conflict, and durable agreements, this conversation is an invitation to build inclusion thoughtfully and on purpose. 

Listen, share with someone who needs to hear it, and subscribe to stay part of a community shaping a more effective, accessible divorce coaching field.

Connect with Christina at Christina Riley Coaching here: christinariley.com

Not yet a DCA Certified Divorce Coach? Apply for the next cohort which begins Jan 11, 2026. Find out details here: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Feeling uneasy about AI crowding into divorce work? We felt it too—so we sat down to map where technology actually helps and where only a trained human can do the job. From polished emails to calmer exchanges, AI can create a crucial pause. But growth doesn’t happen in a prompt; it happens when someone learns why they got triggered, how their conflict dance repeats, and what to do differently when the stakes are high.

We unpack the real distinction between outputs and capacity. Tools like ChatGPT or specialized mediation apps can reflect language back, suggest phrasing, and organize priorities. That can make mediation smoother and lower emotional heat. Still, readiness is not a checklist. ADR‑aligned divorce coaches assess power dynamics, spot coercive control, adapt when a client shuts down or floods, and coordinate with mediators and attorneys to protect meaningful participation. That’s relational, ethical, in‑the‑moment work—work that builds durable skills clients carry into co‑parenting, future negotiations, and new relationships.

Looking toward 2026, the field is shifting. Coaches who sell scripts or generic advice will feel replaceable. Coaches who anchor in behavior change, early dispute resolution, and measurable capacity building will thrive. We share practical ways to integrate AI as a supportive tool while staying squarely in the human lane: transferring skills, not just smoothing moments; creating sturdiness, not just calm copy; and saving families time, money, and unnecessary harm through true readiness. If you’re committed to high standards and future‑focused practice, this conversation will help you sharpen your role, refine your offer, and lead with clarity.

If this resonates, subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review. Ready to level up? Our next ADR‑aligned divorce coaching certification begins January 11—join us at divorcecoachesacademy.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

The phrase “I just want this over with” shows up every December like clockwork. Tracy unpacks why that sentence is both deeply human and a vital signal that capacity is low—and why mistaking urgency for readiness can derail agreements, parenting plans, and trust long after the paperwork is signed.

We map how the holidays act as a compression chamber: emotional labor spikes, financial realities surface, and the symbolic reset of January creates an internal deadline that feels like clarity but is really fatigue. From an ADR lens, speed can look like competence while quietly shifting costs to the back end—where resentment, post-decree litigation, and co-parenting friction explode once the fog lifts. Tracy walks through a familiar case pattern: late-night “agreements” struck under strain that later collapse under scrutiny, not because people lied, but because they were buying relief, not building sustainability.

Then we get practical. You’ll hear the coaching moves that stabilize high-pressure moments: separating what feels urgent from what is, sequencing decisions instead of collapsing them, and pausing when regulation is low. We dig into language discipline—avoiding finality words that cement premature decisions—and show how to reframe early alignment as provisional so clients enter negotiation with flexibility, curiosity, and informed consent. The theme is simple and hard: readiness is capacity, not a feeling. Our job is to absorb urgency without amplifying it and to protect the process so January’s volume doesn’t masquerade as clarity.

If you work in divorce and family dispute resolution, this is your recalibration for “divorce month.” January doesn’t need faster divorces; it needs steadier professionals who treat “I just want this over with” as a cue to slow the pace, expand perspective, and build outcomes that hold. Listen, share with a colleague who needs this reminder, and if the episode helped you lead with steadiness, subscribe and leave a review so more practitioners can find it.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Wondering if a sustainable divorce coaching practice is really possible—or how to build one without burning out or getting lost in theory? We sit down with DCA-certified coach Lyerly Spongberg to unpack the exact steps she took to turn rigorous ADR training, mentor feedback, and a growth mindset into steady client results and a business with clear momentum.

We start with the decision point: moving from life coaching to a dispute resolution lens that gives clients structure, calms chaos, and prepares them for mediation and attorney meetings. Lyerly shares how she internalized DCA frameworks, leaned into mentor coaching, and used tools like strategic empathy, EAR statements, BIF responses, and nonviolent communication to help clients communicate clearly and avoid escalation. A memorable client story shows how planning the divorce conversation—when, where, and how—can transform years of hesitation into a grounded, empowered step forward.

Then we zoom out to the practice model. Lyerly explains the business choices that created traction: SMART goals, consistent educational content, intentional networking, and advanced training in high conflict, co-parenting, and trauma-informed coercive control. We talk about pre-mediation coaching as a game-changer for better outcomes, collaboration with legal and mediation professionals, and how these learnable skills carry into co-parenting and future relationships. Finally, we explore scalable offerings—downloadable guides, professional talks, local hubs, and group coaching—that meet clients where they are and build sustainable visibility.

If you’re building or refining a divorce coaching practice, you’ll leave with a roadmap you can use: anchor your work in ADR, practice until the tools become second nature, design services that fit your strengths, and measure success by calmer conversations and healthier outcomes for families. Subscribe, share with a colleague who needs this, and leave a review with the one ADR tool you want to master next.

About Lyerly:
Lyerly Spongberg is a DCA Certified ADR Divorce Coach, Certified DCA Pre-Mediation Coach, Co-Parenting Specialist, and Trauma-Informed Coercive Control Coach. She works nationally with clients navigating divorce to calm chaos, reduce overwhelm, and improve outcomes—ultimately saving them time, money, and emotional energy throughout the process.

In addition to her professional training, Lyerly brings a unique depth of lived experience. After navigating her own high-conflict divorce in her 30s, she later married a widower with four children—and for nearly two decades has raised a blended family of six.

Through her coaching practice, Step Up With Lyerly, she supports clients at every stage of the divorce process—from early decision-making through post-divorce restructuring—with a focus on clarity, stability, and child-centered strategies. Lyerly lives in CT with her husband and their two rescue dogs, Ruby and Daisy.

Where to connect with Lyerly:
Website - https://stepupwithlyerly.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepup_withlyerly
Email:

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

When the words “narcissist” or “toxic” hit the table, the conversation often derails. We take a different path—away from labels and toward behavior—so clients can make safer, smarter decisions during divorce without stepping into clinical territory. Tracy lays out a clear, ethical approach that validates harm, respects mental health needs, and keeps our work aligned with the dispute resolution standards that serve families best.

We explore the two truths that often coexist: some clients endure harmful, destabilizing behavior, and some are facing a spouse with legitimate mental health needs deserving compassion and dignity. Instead of reducing people to diagnoses, we examine what actually shows up in the process: escalation patterns, emotional regulation, reliability, responsiveness, and communication capacity. Through practical prompts—What does the behavior look like? When does it escalate? How does it affect your choices?—we convert emotional chaos into strategic clarity, boundaries, and safety plans.

We also tackle mediation viability as a functional, not clinical, question. Mediation requires predictability, transparency, and the willingness to repair communication ruptures; when those behaviors are absent, progress stalls regardless of labels. You’ll hear how to reframe inflammatory language, design behavior-based participation plans, and maintain professional boundaries that build trust across the ADR ecosystem. The result is a pragmatic, compassionate model that protects clients, preserves dignity on both sides, and elevates our field through clear roles and standards.

If the goal is durable agreements and healthier co-parenting, behavior must lead. 

Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review to help us spread ethical, ADR-aligned divorce coaching. 

And if you’re ready to go deeper, join our next ADR Divorce Coach Certification Cohort starting January 11, 2026 at DivorceCoachesAcademy.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

The holidays promise cheer, yet for many families they amplify tension, unmet expectations, and quiet grief. We open the door to a calmer path by guiding clients through a practical, humane pre-decision continuum that reduces conflict before lawyers, filings, or ultimatums take center stage. 

Since January is known for a surge in divorce inquiries, we make the case that it should be known for something better: thoughtful coaching that stabilizes emotions and turns fear into informed choice.

In this episode, host Tracy Callahan and guest, Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach and Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada, discuss divorce client preparation. They break the journey into three clear stages. First, Stay Well: we focus on stabilization and containment—sleep, nutrition, mindfulness, supportive connection—and name the SCARF triggers (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, fairness) that fuel reactivity. We help clients separate emotional distress from decision urgency and build safety plans and communication guardrails. Next, Wait With Intention: a purposeful pause for values clarification and fact-finding. We reverse-engineer desired outcomes for parenting, housing, and cash flow; gather financial data and process options; and model neutral, non-adversarial language. We stay in lane ethically by sharing general information and framing precise attorney questions without offering legal advice. Finally, Go With Purpose: clients convert preparation into action with a scripted, respectful approach to “the talk,” a short-term financial buffer, interim housing choices, parenting status quo, and a calm first agenda that sets the tone for mediation and collaborative solutions.

Throughout, we underscore leadership and empathy: the prepared spouse takes care to avoid blindsiding and offers space for the other to process. For fellow coaches and ADR professionals, we share practical readiness tips—open discovery slots, align messaging to “divorce decision month,” refresh templates, and protect your own container against compassion fatigue—so you can meet the January surge with clarity and heart. Preparation is peace. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who needs a January playbook, and leave a review telling us which stage your clients struggle with most.

To connect Dori through her role with DCA:
Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach; Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada
Email: dca.ca@divorcecoachesacademy.com 

Dori's private practice: https://www.thedivorcementor.ca/about-me

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Divorce can knock the wind out of the protector identity many men carry. We explore what happens when that role shakes, why so many dads go silent, and how outcome-oriented coaching can turn conflict into a proving ground for empathy, clarity, and calm co-parenting. 

In this DCA Podcast episode, Tracy welcomes JH Harper, a DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and executive communication coach, who works primarily with fathers. Together we get practical about the tools that actually help: the three phrases men struggle to say without a caveat (“I’m sorry,” “I don’t know,” “I need help”), cognitive empathy through role-play, and the SCARF model for mapping triggers around status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.

We dig into the stories men tell themselves—about failure, blame, and masculinity—and replace them with questions that move things forward. What kind of dad do you want to be in five years? What experience do you want your child to have at big milestones when both parents share the room? Instead of staring at the obstacle, we focus on future mapping, micro-scripts for hard conversations, and agreements that stabilize kids’ routines. JH shares how fatherhood becomes a live wire to empathy and purpose, and why “combat is optional” can be a north star during negotiations and co-parenting.

You’ll hear honest talk about the loneliness men face, shifting gender roles, and the subtle ways language in the divorce space can exclude fathers. Most of all, you’ll get a playbook for redefining strength as accountability, presence, and calm leadership. If you or a dad you love is navigating separation, this conversation offers a way to lift your eyes from the rear-view mirror to the horizon line of a healthier family dynamic.

If this resonated, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more real-talk on divorce and conflict, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your feedback shapes future conversations.
______________________________________

JH Harper is a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach. A former journalist, he is also an executive coach who works with high-profile leaders globally on communications principles. He lives in New York City. 

To follow and connect with JH:

Divorce Transition Coaching For Men: Website 

The Good Change: Substack newsletter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoachfordads 

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

When love gets loud, decision-making gets messy. We sit down with family law attorney, mediator, and certified ADR divorce coach Lauren Fair to unpack why support from family and friends often feels good in the moment but can quietly anchor clients in rigid positions. From “my cousin got the house” jurisdiction myths to the rallying effect of loyal allies, we trace how emotional justice can overshadow long-term interests and derail reasonable agreements.

Together we map a different path: neutrality, structure, and reality testing. Lauren shares how she helps clients separate feelings from facts, weigh costs against outcomes, and align choices with core values like stability for kids, financial sustainability, and healthier communication. We talk through funding dynamics—when a parent pays for services and expects a say—and how to reset power imbalances without blowing up negotiations. You’ll hear practical tools you can use immediately: boundary scripts that honor love while declining directives, somatic cues to sense whether a choice is grounded, and a simple framework for designing a support circle on purpose.

For clients, treat advice as data and keep your hands on the wheel. For family and friends, the most loving move is to listen more and fix less. And for coaches, expect outside opinions to surface weekly and have a clear protocol ready to normalize the noise, test realities, and protect client agency. Love and protection matter, but clarity and resolution move families forward.

If this conversation sparked insight, subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave a review. Your support helps more professionals and families move from chaos to clarity.

To reach Lauren and learn more about her practice, visit https://www.sensiblesplitdivorce.com/legal-team/lauren-m-fair/  or reach her by email at lauren@sensiblesplitdivorce.com 

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com