In this episode I discuss the process and considerations in choosing a sperm donor to help create my family.

I talk about types of donors and the pros and cons of each option, the general advice given to me on how to make a choice and the key factors that influenced my decision.

If you are currently going through this dilemma I hope this episode helps, and if not I hope you still find this interesting and just a little quirky

In this introduction episode to my diary I introduce myself and give a little bit of background on how I became a Solo Mum by Choice (SMBC)

Welcome to my little world

Stacey

In this episode I detail my journey to motherhood through IVF, pregnancy and miscarriage

Please be aware this episode does contain details on miscarriage, late miscarriage and baby loss so please listen in a safe space or feel free to jump to a different episode

The journey was long so this is part 2 of 3

If you are experiencing loss I highly recommend the following resources:

https://www.sands.org.uk/

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support

https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/

https://www.achingarms.co.uk/

In this episode I detail my journey to motherhood through IVF, pregnancy and miscarriage

Please be aware this episode does contain details on miscarriage so please listen in a safe space or feel free to jump to a different episode

The journey was long so this is part 1 of 3

This episode discusses the different ways to make a family, from the traditional, to co-parenting to different types of donors.

While this discussion mainly focuses on Solo parent families some of the information will be interesting to others considering using a donor to make their family.

For additional information on egg and sperm donation please visit the Donor Conception Network - Home - Supporting donor conception families since 1993

Or the UK's Fertility Regulator the HFEA - HFEA: UK fertility regulator

In this episode I discuss a recent encounter Savannah had with an older child, while no harm was done it got me thinking. It is obviously important to teach out children about their body, their privacy and their boundaries, but it is also just as important to teach them to respect other children's boundaries. With 39% of child SAs in 2023/2024 being classed as child on child we need to ensure we are teaching our children early and in an age appropriate way.

Child sexual abuse in 2023/24: Trends in official data

I have bought the following books to open up my conversation with Savannah:

Where Hands Go: An Introduction to Safe and Unsafe Touch : Sanders Diggs, Krystaelynne, Mohanta, Ananta: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Body Boundaries Make Me Stronger: Personal Safety Book for Kids about Body Safety, Personal Space, Private Parts and Consent that Teaches Social Skills and Body Awareness (World of Kids Emotions) : Cole, Elizabeth, Kamenshikova, Julia: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Feeling a sense on dread over potty training? Emotionally exhausted by the process? Wishing they were still in nappies a little longer? I did!

In this episode I discuss my thoughts and opinions as I am 1 month into the potty training journey with Savannah. There are tips and tricks I have learnt along the way, and whether you are yet to start or are elbow deep in the trenches I hope you find this helpful.

For those of you who have come out the other side of potty training, I look forward to joining your club!

In this episode I detail my journey to motherhood through IVF, pregnancy and miscarriage

Please be aware this episode does contain details on miscarriage, late miscarriage and baby loss so please listen in a safe space or feel free to jump to a different episode

The journey was long so this is part 3 of 3

If you are experiencing loss I highly recommend the following resources:

https://www.sands.org.uk/

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support

https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/

https://www.achingarms.co.uk/

A bonus mini episode on the Friday evening of my first full week back at work after a 6 week break, and a quick update on the potty training

In this episode I discuss the different childcare options for working mum and we hear from other solo mums on the childcare choices they have made.

I also touch on the funding support available from the government in England and Wales, for more information please check out:

Free Childcare for Working Parents: Overview - GOV.UK

Tax-Free Childcare: What Tax-Free Childcare is - GOV.UK

It has been a weekend of change here in our house, Savannah moved into a big girl bed and I found myself so excited for her but also a little sad that my baby is growing up.

It is inevitable that our children will grow and change, but we miss the old versions of them and enjoy the new in equal measure.

Change is hard and watching our babies turn into little people is very hard sometimes

I am very privileged to speak to Dr. Grace Halden today. Grace quite literally wrote the book on solo motherhood by choice, and explores how modern reproductive technology is challenging the normal family structure in her book, Cyborg Conception: Cultural and Critical Responses to Solo Motherhood by Choice.

Get 20% off her book using code PALAUT via the Springer website Cyborg Conception: Cultural and Critical Responses to Solo Motherhood by Choice | Springer Nature Link

A quick introduction to season 2 of Diary of a Solo Mum

This episode gives an introduction to the topic of donor siblings, and how I plan to approach this with Savannah. I hope you find this informative and helpful

Please find below some further information on donor siblings and donor conception:

Halden, G., and H. King, 'Regulation needs to acknowledge that donor siblings connect before 18', PET: BioNews, 25 March 2024. Regulation needs to acknowledge that donor siblings connect before 18 (progress.org.uk): https://www.progress.org.uk/regulation-needs-to-acknowledge-that-donor-siblings-connect-before-18/

King, H., Johnson, M., Halden, G., Lentner, N., Smyth, U., Walker, J., 'Our Say: Pre 18 Contact with Donor Siblings', Donor Sibling Connections UK (2023). Here​: https://www.drgracehalden.com/_files/ugd/8699d5_8e534bc4896f4855be227a00e5fce7c3.pdf

Cyborg Conception: Cultural and Critical Responses to Solo Motherhood by Choice (Palgrave: 2024) available here at Springer https://idp.springer.com/authorize?response_type=cookie&client_id=springerlink&redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Flink.springer.com%2Fbook%2F10.1007%2F978-3-031-59386-4

In this episode I discuss the various tips and tricks I use to save money, below are links to the schemes and products I refer to, I hope that these can help you save money too

Boots Parenting Club

Topcashback: https://www.topcashback.co.uk/ref/sdrewry86

Airtime Rewards: Download Airtime for free and earn a £2 bonus with my code when you join & spend £5 within 7 days: NGPV4VHK https://airtimerewards.app.link/lv12LlTby1b

Sprive: https://linkprod.sprive.com/refer?code=QX75LTHU

Vinted: Vinted | Sell and buy clothes, shoes and accessories

NCT: NCT Nearly New Sales | | NCT

Vulnerable customers - Energy UK

In this episode I discuss a recent article about a sperm donor who carried a cancer causing gene.

The article can be found here: Sperm from donor with cancer-causing gene was used to conceive almost 200 children - BBC News

While detailing the circumstances around this story I discuss the concerns we may have as donor conception parents

I can't believe that we have reached the end of season 1! I have thoroughly enjoyed it and will be back in a few weeks with more exciting topics in season 2!

As solo parents we are missing a very obvious part of the equation, and how we talk to our children about their origins and genetics is important.

Normalising donor conception for our children though story telling allows us to talk to our children about how they came to be, their individual family structure and the important people in their life. There are many books out there targeted at different age groups, but I have linked below some of the books we have:

The lion story, Why Don't I Have A Daddy?: A Story of Donor Conception: Amazon.co.uk: Dickerson, Anne: 9781425995874: Books

The Pea that was me: The Pea That Was Me (Volume 4): A Single Mom’s/Sperm Donation Children’s Story: Amazon.co.uk: Kluger-Bell, LMFT, Kimberly: 9781493574544: Books

Lilly's Blueprints: Lilly's Blueprints: A (IUI/IVF) Donor Conception Story for Single Moms By Choice (My Donor Story: A Book Series for Donor-Conceived Children) : Leya, Sharon, Maru, Janne: Amazon.co.uk: Books

What makes a baby: What Makes a Baby : Cory Silverberg, Fiona Smyth: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Our Story from DCN: OUR STORY - How we became a family - (sperm donation in solo mum families - single baby) - Donor Conception Network

As solo mums we are often faced with assumptions and question regarding out relationship status and/or our children's parentage. This episode discussions how we tell our story to other adults at all stages of the journey

"Why don't upi just have a one night stand?"

The question I was asked one to many times for my liking, and this is why!

Unregulated sperm donation often hits the media with sensational stories on prolific donors but here is what you need to think about if you are considering an unregulated donor to create your family

Trigger warning - mentions sexual assault

Travelling with a small child can be daunting, in this episode I provide advice and experience to hopefully make travelling as a solo mum a little less scary.

Below are links to some of the products I reference in this episode

Portable highchair https://amzn.eu/d/01kcrLfl

Pram & Pushchair Travel Bag | Stokke® PramPack™ | Stokke® Online Shop

Kids bracelets - Stikets

Shop SnoozeShade product directly from our website | SnoozeShade UK

Nuby RapidCool Kit | Nuby UK

My Amazing Learner Perfect screen free activity

Magnetic Puzzles https://amzn.eu/d/09oC36Gz

Tin Puzzles https://amzn.eu/d/0hN3Th4M

As a solo mum I am the sole income and therefore I have to work to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. This episode discusses the considerations we face and the help that is available to us.

The following links are discussed in this episode:

Child Benefit: How it works - GOV.UK

New to Universal Credit - Understanding Universal Credit

Universal Credit if you have children - GOV.UK

Tax-Free Childcare - Best Start in Life

Childcare Eligibility Checker - Best Start in Life

Flexible working: Overview - GOV.UK

Flexible working | Acas

Home - Pregnant Then Screwed

In this episode I talk about my experiences of pregnancy after loss and the little things that got me through. I have included below links to some of the resources I have referred to:

The Worst Girl Gang Ever Foundation

Saying Goodbye: Amazon.co.uk: Zoe Clark-Coates: 9781434712264: Books

It Will Happen: A heart-breaking journey to motherhood through recurrent miscarriage and pregnancy loss: Amazon.co.uk: Laura Buckingham: 9781398419650: Books

Empowering Pregnancy Affirmation Cards - Mindfulness & Calm for Expecting Mums – 40 Inspirational Quotes for Pregnancy, Birth and Self‑Care - Gift for Mum to Be (Pink Edition) : Amazon.co.uk: Stationery & Office Supplies

I always saw myself as having 2 children but when life didn't go to plan I found myself questioning whether to have another baby and a younger sibling for Savannah.

As a solo mum I had additional factors to consider and I talk through my thought process and ultimately my decision. I also hear from other solo mums about their considerations and their ultimate decision on whether to have another child.